Mine
Damn straight she was mine.
I don’t know what the fuck got into me. When I saw those freaking pictures and I held Bella in my lap rocking her back and forth, she just seemed so damned fragile. I felt like such a fucking hypocrite.
There I was, trying to comfort her from the horrible memories and yet I got my kicks out of dominating her. Was I any fucking different than the animal that caused her so much misery? I didn’t want to inflict more pain on her life, I wanted to strengthen and build her up. I couldn’t resolve the differences in my head.
I needed time to set myself straight, I knew that it upset Bella that I had cancelled our session. I rationalized the decision by telling myself that she was not mentally prepared, but I knew I wasn’t either. I tried to tell her that I needed to just be together and re-forge those bonds between us. The problem was I was afraid to fucking touch her.
Jacob’s words resonated through my head ‘she’s not as strong as she pretends to be’ and I saw that while she cried helplessly in my arms. Then every time I touched her all I could see was the bruises and I would be damned if I ever left a mark on her body. Every touch was tentative; every kiss was soft and tender.
I could do that, worship and love her. But as Bella straddled my legs I was even afraid to do that, worried I wouldn’t be able to control myself. Scared that in the heat of the moment I would lose it and push her too far. I saw the devastation roll across her features as she came to the only conclusion she could make.
“You think I’m dirty,” the pain in her voice was nothing compared to the hurt in her eyes.
“No Bella…God No, you’re not dirty,” that was the last thing I wanted her to feel and I put as much conviction into my statement as possible begging her to believe me. I didn’t think that and I never would.
I watched as realization came to her while she pieced together the events.
“You saw my pictures…it grossed you out!”
I tried to deny it because I wasn’t ‘grossed out’ but yet it was still those pictures of her so battered and bruised that was causing my reaction. I couldn’t look at her anymore all I saw was my hands leaving those marks on her body and it disgusted me. A second later she was running away from me in a fit of tears.
Her door slammed as I reached the top of the steps, I needed her to understand that it was me. I had the mental block, and I needed to resolve the differences in my head. Bella called me a liar and maybe I was but not in the way she was insinuating. I held her arm while she tried to move past me. I knew if I let her walk out that door she would be gone and my world would fall apart. I couldn’t let her leave.
“Bella…Isabella please,” she had to listen, I just needed time, but she spit the words at me that cut me deeper than anything she could have said.
“Don’t you call me that!…You don’t deserve to call me that!”
Something snapped inside me and I growled. “Don’t you ever say that.”
I don’t know what she was saying, all I could see was her with someone else and there was no way that was going to happen. I needed to own her body and soul, to mark her as mine but not with bruises or scars. I needed to prove to myself that our relationship was different than that and I needed to reclaim Isabella.
Both of us were breathless while she lay underneath me, she let out a small grunt and I moved to get off her. Bella’s hand snaked up to hold my shoulder. “Don’t…don’t leave me.”
I moved my head then swept the hair off her shoulder so I could get a clear view. A light sheen of sweat covered her flushed face. Her eyes were still closed while heavy breaths came from her slack jaw. Bella’s one eye peeked open to look at me as I kissed her cheek, “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
Her bottom lip went between her teeth as her eyes squeezed together tightly while one single tear escaped. I quickly rolled to my side wrapping my arms around her to pull her to my chest. “Don’t baby… don’t cry…we’re going to be ok, I swear we will.”
I would make sure that no matter what came our way I would make sure to keep that promise.
She sniffled lying there quietly while her hands gripped my t-shirt finally she sighed into my neck,
“Do you feel better?”
I smiled huffing out my answer, “Yeah.” Then added the truest answer I could give, “I just needed to get my head out of my ass.”
“And now it’s out?”
“Yes,” I grinned.
“And it truly had nothing to do with you being …sickened by me?”
I moved back so I could cup her chin and make her look at me.
“No Bella…Honest to God, I would never…you could never sicken me. Bella I don’t ever want to hurt you and I was so afraid…”
“Do you want to leave me bruised like tha…” I didn’t even let her finish her question.
“Fuck no…I would cut my right arm off before I ever left a mark on you” Bella pursed her lips together while she thought then she asked the questions I had not taken into consideration.
“Do you think I liked what James did to me, that I let him? Do you think that I would let you do that to me? That I wouldn’t stop you…don’t you trust me Edward?”
I had spent a whole day fretting over my ability to control myself in the kinky games I played. Fearing that I couldn’t trust myself, I forgot about trusting Bella. Our see-saw became unbalanced. I had hopped off sending her crashing to the ground.
“I forgot …forgive me. All I could think of was that I wasn’t any better than him and I forgot that I could trust you. That you had a say in what happens and how far I go.” Bella moved to sit up tucking her breasts back inside her shirt.
“Safe, Sane and Consensual.”
She wasn’t asking but I replied anyway.
“In all things. I’m sorry Bella,” my fingers absentmindedly played with a lock of her hair. “I told you my head was in my ass and I didn’t figure your consent into the equation.”
Bella’s hands pushed on my shoulders rolling me to my back while she straddled my stomach and lifted my shirt up so it bunched under my arms. Her fingers ran through the hair on my chest but her eyes never left mine.
“I think you need a reminder that we are in this together.”
I could feel the grin on my face starting to form, but she remained serious.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Hmmm…” She moved to reach over to the night stand opening the drawer and taking out a blue pen. When she was squarely back on top of me, she popped the lid off with her teeth and brought the point down to my skin where she wrote something over my heart.
I tried to look at what she was writing but the cotton from my shirt was in the way. When she was done the lid was returned before she tossed the pen onto the top of the table. Her eyes seemed to hold some satisfaction as she gave me her instructions.
“Don’t you scrub that off, I want to see it for as long as possible.” There was not one hint of humor in her tone and I wondered if perhaps she did have some dominatrix hidden inside her.
“I’ll wear it proudly,” I stated and the sly smile played at her lips and she leaned down to kiss me. My hands ran down the length of her back gripping the full roundness of her bottom. Her lips moved off mine down my throat where she lightly bit the nape of my neck.
“I’m hungry,” her words made me laugh.
“Me too, I’ll call for pizza.”
I laid there with a puddle of our mixed juices on my stomach while she picked her pants up off the floor and went into the bathroom. Taking my shirt off I used it to wipe my stomach off then went to see what she had written. Over my heart in her squiggly hand writing it said:
Edward
&
Isabella
I wasn’t lying I would wear it proudly.
We sat on a blanket in front of the fire drinking wine and eating pizza, while Seth sat between us waiting for Bella to give him bites of uneaten crust. Bella told me she didn’t have to go into the center until the afternoon the next day. That was a good thing she would be here when the security company came. I wasn’t completely stupid about technology but she had more expertise with that particular area and I hoped she would ask the right questions.
Instead of going to bed to watch the movies she wanted to turn off all the lights, leave the fire on and cuddle on the couch. She lay between my legs with her head on my chest while she jumped in the darkness and hid her face as we watched Ghost Ship.
I wondered why Bella would pick a horror movie if it caused that kind of reaction from her but I was enjoying the closeness too much to care. When the movie was over I asked if she wanted to watch the second one but she yawned and said she would rather go to bed. She stood out on the back patio with me while we let Seth out; she was looking up at the night sky, the stars twinkling in her eyes.
“When I was little, I thought it would be so cool to travel in space.”
I looked at her waiting for her to continue when she didn’t I had to prompt her, “So what changed?”
Her eyes met mine with a warm smile, “I grew up, realized it was safer to look than to touch. Charlie bought me a telescope and I would sit out in the yard looking and wondering at the glory of the universe. It was my quiet time when I could be alone, Leah had her pictures and I had the stars. No matter how much better she was at taking pictures than I was, she could never see the stars the way I could.”
I thought about what she had said to her sister, ‘taking pictures isn’t my thing,’ and I asked her, “Is that why you don’t like to take pictures?”
“It’s not that I don’t like it,” she shrugged. “Leah was just always better at it. She has an eye that knows exactly how to capture the image in the best possible way. When you’re mediocre is always compared with greatness…” Bella drew quiet for a second then added, “…besides I would always get copies from her, let her allowance pay for the developing,” she giggled making me chuckle.
“What happened to your telescope?” Perhaps that was the wrong question because even in the muted light I could see the spark leave her eyes.
“It was one of the first things James broke.” Bella took a breath like she was debating something then began to talk again. “He thought I spent too much time staring at stars though a cloudy sky…he said it was an accident,” she looked out into the yard then back to me. “It was the only time that he didn’t come right out and say that he destroyed something that I enjoyed…so who knows maybe it was an accident.”
“So why didn’t you get another one?”
“We didn’t have the money, besides he would have just broken that one too.”
I understood that but I meant later on. “No I mean like now, after you were gone from him. Why didn’t you get a new one then?” She looked at me as if I held the answer.
“I…I don’t know,” a huge smile lit up her face. “I should get one…a really good one!”
I nodded in agreement.
So quickly I didn’t even see it happen, Bella spun and threw her arms behind my neck and hopped up to straddle my hips. My hands automatically caught the fullness of her bottom as her mouth was against mine. It took me a second to get over the shock before I responded parting my lips to allow her control. Her lips were soft and supple and as her tongue moved gently against mine a sigh escaped her throat.
Bella pulled back after placing one more soft kiss against my lips to look in my eyes while her hips wiggled against my dick. She smiled as the hiss left my mouth. “Little Eddie wants to play hide and seek.”
“Oh he’s not hiding…” my hips thrust forward, “…and he defiantly knows where to look.”
“Well then…let him come find it.” Her legs lost their grip as she slid down my body, but I held her back firmly keeping her against my chest.
“Are you teasing me again?” The last time she tried this I ended up giving her a spanking over the kitchen counter, the memory alone made me throb.
“I wouldn’t think of it.” stepping away the hint of a smile formed on her face, my girl was up to something. I eyed her speculatively but she gave nothing away as she moved towards the house telling me she was chilly and going in to get ready for bed.
While Bella opened the door to go back in the house she stopped. “Edward…” the somber look on her face was a direct contrast to the playful one she held just a minute before. “…do you trust me?”
I answered her immediately. “Without a doubt.”
The smile returned to Bella’s face and I think I detected some smugness, but I didn’t get to dwell on it because she told me to not take too long and she was gone. Seth followed me into the house where I got him some fresh water and turned the gas fire place off before going upstairs. The door to my room was ajar and Seth made his way in there ahead of me, so I figured that’s where Bella was.
Pushing the door open the room was muted in a dim light from the lamp in the corner by the chair. There was soft jazz playing from the iPod resting in the dock and Bella was in her waiting position, clenching something in her hands. It took me a few seconds to take in the scene and then I realized why she asked if I trusted her, she wanted to play.
I had never had a submissive initiate playtime, but as I studied her I could see it was the hairbrush in her hands and I was dying to know what she had in mind. In all honesty I had my own thoughts; I just wanted to see if I was correct.
Walking around the room, not doing anything in particular other then getting my head into the right frame of mind, I let Bella wait. When I stood in front of her I could see she was anxious but not from fear, I believed it was excitement. The first thing I needed to do was correct her on the proper way to give me something while waiting.
“What do you have in your hand Isabella?” Her hands came forward holding the brush out for me to take, but that wasn’t how it worked so I informed her.
“When you kneel before me you are to be completely devoid of everything, you are to come before me bare. The item you wish me to see should be on the floor directly in the center of your body and above your knees.” I watched while she placed it where I had instructed and then waited to see what she would do. Smiling to myself as I watched her hands return back to where they belonged; once she was settled I figured I would give her some fair warning.
“While it is acceptable Isabella to display an item in my bedroom, I would suggest you not do that in my playroom, unless I specifically ask you to.” Once that was out of the way I wanted to see just much she wanted to play.
“I must say Isabella you are full of surprises tonight.” Satisfied I would get no reaction to that statement I thought of one that I would get one from “First you orgasm without permission…” when her eyes narrowed ever so slightly I knew that had hit a sore spot so I went on, “…did you think I would forget?”
I waited for an answer and when I didn’t get one I prompted. “And now you refuse to answer, oh yes Isabella, nothing but surprises.”
I made sure my voice was stern while I continued, “I will ask again. Did you think I would forget?” making sure I punctuated each word.
I was growing impatient with Bella’s lack of response and was going to get more forceful when she spoke up. “Master please be patient, this girl is unsure how to answer your question.”
“Explain yourself,” I needed to understand what she was talking about.
“This girl does not think that her Master would forget, however she does not believe that orgasm should count.”
“She doesn’t? I would love to hear her reasons why not.”
Bella didn’t hesitate to plead her case, “a -- your girl was not in a submissive mode. b – your girl was upset and not thinking clearly and c – she was in her room and can do anything she wants to in her room.” Bella was a little smug with that last answer.
“I see…” I moved to stand behind her running my fingers through her hair. “Lets address each of your excuses one at a time. If you were not in a submissive mode, why would you obey my commands as well as refer to me as Master?” Bella remained quiet I assumed she was taking in my words.
“As far as you not thinking clearly, in the heat of the moment you never think clearly and I am always amazed at what comes out of your mouth. Now as for your last point… let me ask you Isabella, while you are in your room, would you masturbate without permission?”
“No Sir” she answered with conviction
“Why not, it’s your room; you can do whatever you want in your room.” I didn’t wait for an answer I asked the most important question.
“Tell me Isabella, whom do you belong to?” I finger swept along the silver that adorned the side of her neck while she answered immediately
“This girl belongs to you Sir”
“Hmmm…and if you belong to me, then it stands to reason that every part of you is mine including your pleasure…” Bella interrupted.
“But…”
“Quiet! I didn’t ask you for an explanation.” I retorted then went on.
“Before I was so rudely interrupted I was going to say, I can understand why you would feel that way and I would be willing to overlook your slip up this one time because of the circumstances that surround it. However due to your outburst, I am beginning to rethink that decision. Perhaps you need to be reminded of your place”. I gave Bella the hand signal to look at me and when her eyes met mine I made sure that she understood that I took her submission seriously.
“This was your choice to kneel before me tonight; if you are going to come before me then you come with full respect and behave appropriately, or say the word red right now.” I was giving Bella an out just in case she wasn’t prepared to continue; when she remained steadfast I went on.
“By your silence I’m going to assume that you wish to carry on…,” again I gave her a few seconds to let my words sink in before going back to her original purpose.
“Now as I was saying, you are full of surprises and besides the little outburst you just had, the most astonishing one is that hairbrush on the floor. Tell me why you would present me with such a thing.”
Bella’s tongue peeked out to moisten her lips before she spoke. “Master your girl would like you to use it on her.”
“You want me to brush your hair.” I made the statement knowing full well what she wanted, but I needed her to say exactly what she meant.
“No Sir, your girl would like you to spank her with it.”
Bella’s voice was unwavering as she spoke the words that made my dick stand at attention. My excitement at that thought was getting the better of me and the only way I could think to stall was by asking, “Why?”
Bella took a deep breath before she explained, “This one has been thinking about it since the first time you brushed her hair.”
“I see…” she seemed excited about the possibility I wanted to see how excited she could get. I looked over at the ottoman in front of the chair and the scene came to my mind. “Pick up the brush and come with me,” I held my hand out to assist her in standing then patted the center of the ottoman, “Kneel.”
Once she was in the right spot I tapped the inside of Bella’s thighs so she would part them, and then held my hand out for the brush before telling her to close her eyes. Once I was sitting on the chair I gave her instructions.
“You are to keep your eyes closed, if you do not and I have to blind fold you I will be very disappointed.” I let that sink in then went on, “for tonight your hands will be mine and I want you to use them on your breasts, now.” When I was done talking, I sat back to watch the show.
Bella’s hands moved up over her stomach to cup the fullness of her breasts while her thumbs ran across her taunt nipples. I let her continue what she was doing rolling and tugging her nipples until a small sigh escaped her throat. Then I took it up a notch.
“Come now Isabella, I’m sure my hands would be more forceful then that.”
At my words her hands began to tug harder stretching the tight peaks further away from her body while twisting them. I sat on the edge of the chair, my one hand laid on Bella’s stomach for a second before running down to feel the wetness between her thighs. As my fingers skimmed across her chit she whimpered letting me know my little game was working.
The brush landed quickly two more times on each cheek before I got another sound. “Harder Isabella, squeeze them harder.”
“Ohhhhh…..” the long moan turned to gasps when the brush landed on her flesh several times in quick succession before I put it down and ran my hands over her warm pink bottom.
“Are we doing alright here Isabella?” I wanted to make sure.
“Yes…” she panted out.
“Yes what?” I questioned with a heavy sigh to let her know I was not happy.
“Yes Master.”
“Much better…” I told her picking up the hair brush before bringing it down on both cheeks.
“Oh…Oh…” the tone of her gasps were beginning to rise and I knew she was almost at her limit, but I figured since it was her idea I would push her just a little more.
“Squeeze you nipples and with each strike apply more pressure. Do you understand?” When she hesitated the brush came down again.
“Yes Master,” her voice was breathy, “I unde...”
“Who?” once more the brush made contact.
“Ohhh…” the sound wasn’t one of pain it was more of euphoria, “…yeesss…your girl understands.” I looked up into Bella’s face, she was totally relaxed and I used the bristles of the bush on the tender flesh of her ass while my other hand dipped back down into her center; she was dripping wet.
“My, my Isabella. I do believe you are enjoying my attentions.”
I moved further to the edge of the chair to keep a good grip on Bella so she didn’t fall. Then I held the top part of her clit between my thumb and forefinger before giving her the last piece of information.
“Ten Isabella, that’s the magic number, I’ll count.”
As the brush came down my fingers applied more pressure to her clit while I counted out “One.”
On the second strike I applied more pressure and I reminded her to do the same. With each strike the pressure increased as did Bella’s moans.
On the fifth on I applied more pressure and wiggled the nerve eliciting a sound of vibrating delight from Bella’s mouth while she quivered in my grasp. The sound resonated straight to my dick making me throb.
“Mmmm…yes Isabella, that’s the sound I enjoy so very much.”
By the eighth strike Bella was breathless and so fucking wet I was having a hard time keeping a decent grip on the swollen nub. Her body was shaking while her breathing quivered so much that I wasn’t sure she would make the last two. When I brought the brush down for the tenth one Bella let out a sigh but I wasn’t done with her yet.
“Keep squeezing Isabella and you may cum as you please.” As soon as the words left my mouth I brought the brush down on her bottom in a rapid pace while quickly rubbing her clit with my fingers. It didn’t take her long before her body shook and Bella’s legs could no longer hold her weight while she screamed out her release.
“Yeeessss…..ssssooooo…..gooooodddd…..auuunnnngggggg...”
I dropped the brush and as my arm supported most of Bella’s weight, my fingers continued to rub her until she completely sagged against my shoulder panting in breathlessness. Lifting under her legs I pulled her into the chair with me so she straddled my thighs, while she laid against me chest catching her breath.
After giving her a minute my hands gripped under her thighs and I lifted her up laying her back on the ottoman so she was spread open. Bella’s hands quickly undid the snap of my pants and she cried out as I entered her. She felt so fucking good I couldn’t help the groan that left my throat. She was so damned wet my dick slid in and out of her at a furious pace.
In no time at all Bella was once again panting and I used my elbows to spread her thighs even wider so I could go as deep inside her as possible. The sounds of flesh meeting flesh was drowned out by the sounds coming from her mouth.
“Pleasseee….right there…ohhh….I’m going to …I can’t hold ….pleassseee….Master please…”
“Not yet,” I grunted out through my own gasp of air. “Hold it.” I ordered while I continued to move in and out of her. My hands moved under her hips tilting them up and on the next stroke Bella’s back arched and she screamed out my name while her muscles contacted around me as she came undone.
“I told you …not to fucking cum.” My words were lost in her breathless moans and my hands moved to hold her hips as my pace picked up, Bella’s moans increased.
“I’mm…going...can’t…hold…”
“Don’t you fucking cum again.” I growled as the pressure in my balls started to build, my legs started to tingle and on the next thrust I came deep inside her with a loud groan of release as she shook around me in what I believed was another orgasm.
My head lay against Bella’s breast and while I tried to catch my breath, I became aware of Bella’s words coming through her heavy pants. “Sorry…couldn’t …stop it…you …were…too much...”
I chuckled at her words, “Sorry…isn’t going to cut it.”
“But…”
I raised my head to glare at her, “Are you seriously going to offer me more excuses?”
Bella quickly cast her eyes down from mine, “No Sir.”
“I should hope not.”
My arms let go of her legs and I sat back on my knees resnapping my pants before offering Bella my hand to help her up. Once she stood I had her turn so I could see her bottom, it was mostly pink with a few spots that were a deeper red. I sat on the bed with her standing between my legs while I rubbed some lanolin onto her tender flesh. I then marveled at the view while watching her walk into the bathroom.
Our before bed activity was completely unexpected and after the past few days we had I would never have asked Bella to submit to me. Between her emotional meltdown and my self-induced uncertainties I was not expecting any playtime until the weekend. But as I waited for her to come out of the bathroom I thought about how it had turned out to be the best possible thing to have happened.
Bella needed to know that I didn’t have any qualms about what happened to her in the past. That no matter what happened or what she told me there was absolutely no change in the way I felt about her. I needed to know without a doubt that I was not the monster that I was beginning to think I was. It took her pushing me to realize that we are in this together.
My hand automatically came up to cover my heart where Bella had written on my skin. I chuckled quietly as I thought about her punishing me.
“What are you laughing at?” Bella asked while coming through the door and turning out the light.
“You.” She eyes me while I pulled the blankets down for her to get into bed while I told her what I found so humorous.
“Well you shouldn’t have been so naughty…” I interrupted her.
“I wasn’t naughty I was inattentive. On the other hand, you were naughty. Two…” I held fingers to emphasize my point, “… unauthorized orgasms in less than five minutes. It doesn’t get any naughtier then that.”
Her bottom lip went between her teeth as her chin lowered and she looked at me through her lashes.
“I couldn’t help it…” her voice was regretful and her head tilted to the side, “…I really tried.” She sighed lowering her eyes to look at the bed while they narrowed in guilt.
She sighed audibly once more. “It was just, my butt was tingling and …” she sighed again getting a pitiful look on her face, “you had my legs pinned and …you hit that spot,” she chewed on her lip then sighed in frustration looking at me through her lashes once more, “can’t you please let it go…please?”
I pursed my lips and lifted Bella’s chin so she would look at me. She looked so pitiful with the sad expression on her face; it reminded me of the way Seth looked at me with his sad eyes. I sighed then pursed my lips before moving to place a kiss on her forehead.
“Baby…” I smiled sadly at her, “…your acting skills better improve because that shit isn’t going to wash with me.”
Bella gasped as her eyes grew wide while she looked at me in shock making me laugh while she blushed at her attempt to manipulate me. “Didn’t it work at all?” she asked in disbelief
“Ahhhh…No,” I said mater of factly.
“Damn,” she snapped her fingers with a soft giggle before lying down.
Bella’s naked body was snuggled up tightly to mine. Her breasts pressed against my chest while my hand ran down the length of her spine making her hum. “Edward do you think that will ever go away?” I wasn’t sure what she was talking about but she clarified, “The tingle.”
I smiled in the muted darkness, “I hope not.”
Bella nestled closer into the nook of my neck placing a kiss under my chin, “I love you.”
I smiled kissing the top of her head, “I love you too.”
I thought Bella had fallen asleep because she was quiet for the longest time and I myself was just starting to drift off when she said, “By the way, the orgasm’s were so worth it.”
I chuckled into her hair hoping she felt the same way about it in the morning.
While Bella drifted off to sleep I thought about the last seventy-two hours and all that we had learned about each other. How much our relationship had grown, how our trust in each other had solidified, along with the strength we had gained from each other. Bella ended up feeling secure enough to initiate playtime and I was confident enough to let her. That thought brought me enough assurance to allow myself to fall asleep.
When I woke the room was dark and Bella was still attached to my body. Her head was tucked under my neck while her warm breath washed over my skin. I would have gone right back to sleep except that Seth was walking around the room.
At first I thought that he needed to go out but then I heard something outside the window. Glancing over my shoulder I saw a shadow out the corner of my eye, when my full gaze hit the window I realized it was the shadow from the tree limbs blowing from the passing thunderstorm.
I pulled Bella closer to me and as she settled back into a comfortable sleep she whispered my name adding a sigh. I kissed her head then whispered against her hair, “we made it through the storm baby, we made it.”
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