Wednesday May 9, 2010
List and explain three points for each statement
As a submissive woman I am
As a submissive woman I am not
As a submissive woman I am
Dependent upon my Dominant - I rely upon him to show me the proper way to bring him pleasure and ultimately satisfaction and fullness to my own life. My decision to submit fully is dependent upon the support that I receive from him. I can’t be expected to grow if I am left on my own with no guidance or direction on how to proceed with what I am doing correctly or how to resolve my short comings.
Able to give of myself , freely without fear of being demeaned or taken advantage of. I can trust in the fact that everything I do for my Dominate will be respected and honored. Because of that confidence I am free to open up myself in every aspect of our relationship. I can be who and what I am without worry that the one person who I place the most trust in will not tarnish my individuality but rather enhance it with his own.
I am the same as any other woman. I have hopes and dream, desires and fears. I want a happy fulfilled life just the same as anyone else. I am still a woman, who has family, friends and employment that are all very important. My submission does not diminish me from the human race nor from the unity that can only be found in the company of other women. Do not look at me as if I am something special or more vital then the elderly woman who lives next door. She chooses her path, and I choose mine, we are equal.
As a submissive woman I am not
Ignorant nor irresponsible I am an intelligent woman who does not need a man to tell her how to live her life. I choose to follow my Dominates direction and rules to bring better fulfillment to his life and my own, that does not mean that I could not live or survive on my own. I am not uninformed nor unaware of what goes on in the world both near or far. I also am not immature or make reckless decision, I have a brain, God gave it to me, and I use it to the best of my ability.
An enigma that needs to be scrutinized or dissected. Don’t look at me as if I am someone with a deformity or worse as a whore with loose morals who would think nothing of bedding anyone or anything just to get off. I don’t deserve to be treated with disrespect. I don’t merit stares or leering eyes, simply because someone has no clue as to the lifestyle I choose to live.
Without a voice I have the right and the responsibility to say what I will and will not be involved in. I can at anytime exercise my right to stop any activity that I am uncomfortable or averse to participate in. I expect and demand to be treated with respect and appreciation. If I begin to feel like my Master is taking advantage of me, or has pushed me further than I am comfortable with I can and will voice my objection, knowing full well that he will listen to me without fail. Do I expect to talk about it later? Yes I do, open honest two sided communication, where my opinions and concerned are taken seriously not pushed aside like someone who is of no significance.
Friday May 11, 2010
I am being punished because
My punishment affects me because
My punishment affects my Master because
I am being punished because I inadvertently wore a robe in Master’s playroom that had not been preapproved.
My punishment affects me
It makes me doubt myself, whether; I have the ability to make him happy without screwing up something so simple. Because of my forgetfulness I have been banished from his bed for the night leaving me alone with my own thoughts and insecurities; that I can deal with.
I just hate the fact that I’ve left him down, that through my senseless and thoughtless actions I have taken a special night and ruined it, not only for myself, but for him as well.
My punishment affects my Master
He told me that everything I do is a reflection on him and his training of me. So if my actions reflect on him, then it is like he is taking the blame for what I did. That seems totally unfair. He also told me that when he had to punish me, he would, but he wouldn’t like it, because no matter how he does it, my punishment will affect his enjoyment and take away something that he either benefits from or was looking forward to doing. I suppose in this instance he had to shower alone, and he will be sleeping alone, Those things I know for sure, plus there might be other plans that had to change because of me. I don’t want to take from him or burden him, I want to enrich his life and make it easier. And on this night, he went to extra lengths to see that things were special and I blemished it for him. I think that is the worst part, he will always remember that the night he gave me his collar was the night I first disappointed him.
May 27, 2010
Give the definition of each word and tell how they correspond with each other.
A Task, A Lesson, Obedience.
A Task – an assignment, an undertaking or a chore, that can be given or taken upon by one’s self
A Lesson – a learning experience from a lecture, an incident or personal reflection, that can and should be used to enhance or change one’s behavior or thought process.
Obedience – compliance, conformity and surrender to a set of standards either given to an individual or to a group.
The assignment is given with the express intent that it is to completed and carried out. Regardless of the individual’s desire to perform it. The reason for the task being given should have no bearing on whether it is fulfilled or not. It is simply stated with the expectation of being done.
It is through the obedience of the person receiving the task that the lesson is learned. Without the conscious undertaking and following through nothing could be cultivated. People would flounder in their own idiocy there would be no change in their perspective or actions. Therefore the compliance with the task is the most important element in the whole process of learning the lesson.
Now how does all that compare to me?
Am I a student who is setting out to learn a difficult math equeason or some other academic lesson? No, and yet I am still a student and it is with that same process of trial an error that I will grow in my submission.
Just as a professor gives his students an assignment to work through and to practice with, so my Master gives them to me. And just as the professor builds one concept upon another simpler one so my Master builds them with me. A person cannot be expected to do advanced calculus when they have not mastered the art of basic addition. Master would not and could not expect me to move forward when I have not mastered the fundamentals that he has set in place.
The question is how do I do that?
If I trust him with my training then I have to understand that what he has set forth for me to do, he expects it to be done. Not just some of the time or when I remember to, he expects it to be done 100% of the time, without me needing a reason why or thinking it trivial.
This is achieved through my total obedience, trusting him to show me the correct way. That is not to say that I am perfect nor does He expect me to be (at least I don’t think he does) But yet to disregard the task even unintentionally, amounts to negligence on my part.
Negligence that comes across as insolence, causing frustration, irritation and displeasure.
I have to deal with all these emotions because of my disobedience, but worse is the fact that Master has to deal with them too. Second guessing me is one thing, second guessing himself is intolerable. He should never be put in a position of doubt because of my inattention at taking care of my responsibilities.
This life-style is not effortless it requires constant attention to seemingly inconsequential details. However when I look at them through Master’s eyes I see that nothing is insignificant, everything has reason and purpose. My obedience to him gains his trust in me while fostering pride in myself. I would do well to remember that and if nothing else strive to achieve that goal- the pride of my Master.
A task, a lesson and obedience come together to bring about a deeper fuller relationship. The task is made known; my obedience in fulfilling it is expected to be given wholeheartedly without reservations. That brings about growth, maturity and a bolstered self-esteem that will give me the foundation to move onto the next harder and more demanding task. What it brings to Master I can only guess is pride in my accomplishment and satisfaction in my obedience. Which is the greatest gift I can give him – And here endth the lesson.
Tuesday June 11-Friday June 14, 2010
Sunday June 16, 2010
List and explain three points for each statement
As a submissive woman I am
As a submissive woman I am not
As a submissive woman I am
Dependent upon my Dominant - I rely upon him to show me the proper way to bring him pleasure and ultimately satisfaction and fullness to my own life. My decision to submit fully is dependent upon the support that I receive from him. I can’t be expected to grow if I am left on my own with no guidance or direction on how to proceed with what I am doing correctly or how to resolve my short comings.
Able to give of myself , freely without fear of being demeaned or taken advantage of. I can trust in the fact that everything I do for my Dominate will be respected and honored. Because of that confidence I am free to open up myself in every aspect of our relationship. I can be who and what I am without worry that the one person who I place the most trust in will not tarnish my individuality but rather enhance it with his own.
I am the same as any other woman. I have hopes and dream, desires and fears. I want a happy fulfilled life just the same as anyone else. I am still a woman, who has family, friends and employment that are all very important. My submission does not diminish me from the human race nor from the unity that can only be found in the company of other women. Do not look at me as if I am something special or more vital then the elderly woman who lives next door. She chooses her path, and I choose mine, we are equal.
As a submissive woman I am not
Ignorant nor irresponsible I am an intelligent woman who does not need a man to tell her how to live her life. I choose to follow my Dominates direction and rules to bring better fulfillment to his life and my own, that does not mean that I could not live or survive on my own. I am not uninformed nor unaware of what goes on in the world both near or far. I also am not immature or make reckless decision, I have a brain, God gave it to me, and I use it to the best of my ability.
An enigma that needs to be scrutinized or dissected. Don’t look at me as if I am someone with a deformity or worse as a whore with loose morals who would think nothing of bedding anyone or anything just to get off. I don’t deserve to be treated with disrespect. I don’t merit stares or leering eyes, simply because someone has no clue as to the lifestyle I choose to live.
Without a voice I have the right and the responsibility to say what I will and will not be involved in. I can at anytime exercise my right to stop any activity that I am uncomfortable or averse to participate in. I expect and demand to be treated with respect and appreciation. If I begin to feel like my Master is taking advantage of me, or has pushed me further than I am comfortable with I can and will voice my objection, knowing full well that he will listen to me without fail. Do I expect to talk about it later? Yes I do, open honest two sided communication, where my opinions and concerned are taken seriously not pushed aside like someone who is of no significance.
Friday May 11, 2010
I am being punished because
My punishment affects me because
My punishment affects my Master because
I am being punished because I inadvertently wore a robe in Master’s playroom that had not been preapproved.
My punishment affects me
It makes me doubt myself, whether; I have the ability to make him happy without screwing up something so simple. Because of my forgetfulness I have been banished from his bed for the night leaving me alone with my own thoughts and insecurities; that I can deal with.
I just hate the fact that I’ve left him down, that through my senseless and thoughtless actions I have taken a special night and ruined it, not only for myself, but for him as well.
My punishment affects my Master
He told me that everything I do is a reflection on him and his training of me. So if my actions reflect on him, then it is like he is taking the blame for what I did. That seems totally unfair. He also told me that when he had to punish me, he would, but he wouldn’t like it, because no matter how he does it, my punishment will affect his enjoyment and take away something that he either benefits from or was looking forward to doing. I suppose in this instance he had to shower alone, and he will be sleeping alone, Those things I know for sure, plus there might be other plans that had to change because of me. I don’t want to take from him or burden him, I want to enrich his life and make it easier. And on this night, he went to extra lengths to see that things were special and I blemished it for him. I think that is the worst part, he will always remember that the night he gave me his collar was the night I first disappointed him.
May 27, 2010
Give the definition of each word and tell how they correspond with each other.
A Task, A Lesson, Obedience.
A Task – an assignment, an undertaking or a chore, that can be given or taken upon by one’s self
A Lesson – a learning experience from a lecture, an incident or personal reflection, that can and should be used to enhance or change one’s behavior or thought process.
Obedience – compliance, conformity and surrender to a set of standards either given to an individual or to a group.
The assignment is given with the express intent that it is to completed and carried out. Regardless of the individual’s desire to perform it. The reason for the task being given should have no bearing on whether it is fulfilled or not. It is simply stated with the expectation of being done.
It is through the obedience of the person receiving the task that the lesson is learned. Without the conscious undertaking and following through nothing could be cultivated. People would flounder in their own idiocy there would be no change in their perspective or actions. Therefore the compliance with the task is the most important element in the whole process of learning the lesson.
Now how does all that compare to me?
Am I a student who is setting out to learn a difficult math equeason or some other academic lesson? No, and yet I am still a student and it is with that same process of trial an error that I will grow in my submission.
Just as a professor gives his students an assignment to work through and to practice with, so my Master gives them to me. And just as the professor builds one concept upon another simpler one so my Master builds them with me. A person cannot be expected to do advanced calculus when they have not mastered the art of basic addition. Master would not and could not expect me to move forward when I have not mastered the fundamentals that he has set in place.
The question is how do I do that?
If I trust him with my training then I have to understand that what he has set forth for me to do, he expects it to be done. Not just some of the time or when I remember to, he expects it to be done 100% of the time, without me needing a reason why or thinking it trivial.
This is achieved through my total obedience, trusting him to show me the correct way. That is not to say that I am perfect nor does He expect me to be (at least I don’t think he does) But yet to disregard the task even unintentionally, amounts to negligence on my part.
Negligence that comes across as insolence, causing frustration, irritation and displeasure.
I have to deal with all these emotions because of my disobedience, but worse is the fact that Master has to deal with them too. Second guessing me is one thing, second guessing himself is intolerable. He should never be put in a position of doubt because of my inattention at taking care of my responsibilities.
This life-style is not effortless it requires constant attention to seemingly inconsequential details. However when I look at them through Master’s eyes I see that nothing is insignificant, everything has reason and purpose. My obedience to him gains his trust in me while fostering pride in myself. I would do well to remember that and if nothing else strive to achieve that goal- the pride of my Master.
A task, a lesson and obedience come together to bring about a deeper fuller relationship. The task is made known; my obedience in fulfilling it is expected to be given wholeheartedly without reservations. That brings about growth, maturity and a bolstered self-esteem that will give me the foundation to move onto the next harder and more demanding task. What it brings to Master I can only guess is pride in my accomplishment and satisfaction in my obedience. Which is the greatest gift I can give him – And here endth the lesson.
Tuesday June 11-Friday June 14, 2010
Set three personal goals that can be worked towards and obtained in the next two weeks.
1. I will make it a point to include my father in my life by calling him every Sunday evening
2. I will study and learn the art of reflexology
3. I will strive to remember Master’s point of view in all situations
Why I Submit
Although I know that by totally submitting to my Master’s will brings him pleasure that is not the only reason I do it. I can be selfless and give of myself; however there is no way I could be so gallant as to give everything he ask of me without getting something other than his happiness in return.
So the question I have to ask myself is; what is it that I get from my submission?
First and foremost would be a deep found joy that I receive from my submission, maybe that comes from the simple fact that I can be who I am without any reservations on my part or worry of condemnation from Master. It’s a freedom resonating into a deep elation that I feel all the way through my soul. I find myself looking forward to our time together and being so excited to kneel at my Master’s feel that I actually begin counting down minutes until I can come before him. Strange as it may seem the prospect leaves me excited and looking forward to the time when I can kneel at his feet. It is the only time when I can appreciate a true sense of self.. There is a part of me that I have only begun to tap into that gains a deep satisfaction in submitting to His will.
Is that something that I should feel guilty about?
I don’t believe it is, especially if mutual satisfaction is the name of the game.
There is also something deep inside me that is comforted in my submitting.
I find security, love and happiness in giving Him control over every part of me.
It is the only time that I can be truly free that sounds like a contradiction of terms. Freedom in submitting – yet that is exactly what it is.
But what am I freeing myself from?
Reality?
No I don’t believe that’s it, because the bite of the crop, the heat of the wax or the sting of the clamps is as real as anything else. I believe it is a freedom that occurs in the mind. I have no restrictions except those that Master has placed on me. There are no decisions that have to be made every choice from what I wear, eat and do – at times including when I use the bathroom – are all made for me. I can let go of everyday decisions and mundane rules of society. No matter what is expected of me, it is alright because Master has asked it of me.
It is his decisions not mine to walk around naked.
He tells me to masturbate until I explore in ecstasy.
His words send the slut to her knees so she can greedily suck his dick.
His will not mine – and somehow, it makes it alright.
It is akin to reverting back to a childlike state – I didn’t want to clean my room but I did it because I was told to and then felt joy when the task was done. Maybe that is not the best example yet the idea is the same. Even though at the time I might not have agreed or understood their reasons for sending me to clean my room I still went, complied, and felt pride in the finished task. It’s the same with Master only he is a much more attentive Father.
A father who makes my blood boil and my body pulse with a desire for his touch, with just a simple look He can--- Ahhhh… I digress.
Those are all physical reasons and I would be lying if I said these motives didn’t count but that is a whole other quandary that I will expand upon later…
Back to the attentive father
I would have to admit (though it is an egotistical motive) that the attention I receive from Master is both welcomed and coveted. From the time I could remember my presence in the life of those around me always left me feeling as if I was an inconvenience, a second thought or a tag along. I was always a good girl but felt like I should be better. That if I could just be a little funnier, polite or outgoing those around me would be more willing to be in my company.
Yet it never mattered what I did or how I tried to be what others expected, I was still ignored. That is not at all the case with Master. There is not one aspect of my life that is disregarded or left unnoticed. Every need, be it physical, emotional or spiritual is met through his unwavering care.
Never in my life has one person paid so much individual attention to me. Given my needs, comfort and security His utmost consideration, leaving me to feel the one thing that everyone flourishes from and the one thing that until now, I have never known – what is like to be cherished.
Master tells me I am the most important thing in his life – to use his own words – talk is cheap, don’t tell me show me, and in all ways he endeavors to prove that point. His attention to the most minute detail can at times leave me frustrated as it seems nothing can get past him, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I have come to desire his attentions with a jealous attitude. Perhaps that is wrong of me and I should be more willing to share His time, conversation and activities with others.
But I’m not
It’s all mine - it belongs to me and I want it – all of it and the security that comes along with it.
The security I feel shouldn’t surprise me, it is after all visceral but it is something I never knew existed. Now that I am aware of its presence I refuse to feel guilty because I anticipate it to only be given to me.
Does that make for an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship?
Maybe – Yet I can’t seem to bring myself to be concerned about it. I’ve lived a life of insignificance and I don’t ever want to feel like I’m second best. My submission to Master gives me gives me the right to feel more significant than I could have ever dreamed of. Bringing with it security that has to be experienced in order to fully understand.
Where does that security come from?
The same place all security comes from - a fortress. Only these walls are built with repetition and the bricks are forged by statutes that I find comforting.
Living within the parameters of the rules of protocol provides me with a guarantee that all is well. I know without a doubt that my service is accepted. When it is not – due to my own fault – the guidelines are brought to my attention. The three R’s of security are brought into play
Reflection
Restitution
Reconciliation.
That series of events allow me to always know where I stand, which in the world that I grew up in and the marriage I lived through is a complete refuge. There is no second questioning my position or Master’s endorsement of our relationship.
There is an emotional connection between the two of us that transcends anything that I have ever felt or dreamed to be a part of. Perhaps it comes from the commitment, or possibly it is the completion that my soul receives from him. I would like to think that the feeling is mutual and that Master receives the same satisfaction as I do from the bond we share. In fact I am very sure he must because it is only through his complete gratification in my service that I find the strength to submit. And it is in that power that only I possess –which comes from him - that Master gains the strength he needs to continue leading me. That emotional connection is what allows the two of us to be exactly what the other needs and also something that Master’s girl feast on with a furious hunger for more.
It’s like my place in the world is procured.
At Master’s feet is where I belong.
It’s where my happiness lies
It’s where I find my sense of true self
It’s where I find freedom
It’s where I experience love.
It’s where my fears are alleviated
It’s where I understand what it means to be cherished.
It’s where I find contentment.
It’s where my safety net originates
It’s where my security is
It’s where I thrive
This morning Master allowed his slut to worship his cock. On
her knees she sat, waiting with anticipation of the moment she was allowed to
finally touch him. While she waited her eyes remained focused on the object of
her devotion. Just a few mere inches from this slut’s face, His beautifully
powerful cock rested at ease between his legs. With deep breathes she could
smell the delightful musk that comes from only that spot. The place where
heaven on earth lays in wait for the dedication it deserves. The place that
brings Master so much pleasure and his slut such joy. Like any object of
divinity Master’s Cock drew his slut towards it, wanting it, needing it and
dreading she may never get to have it.
Finally like a drug addict scoring his fix Master said my name,
giving me the permission I had waited for
“You may approach Isabella”
Masters slut leaned her face into the cleft where hip met
thigh, drawing in a long breath, taking in the scent of his Maleness. The
enticing smell urges His slut to seek out the spot with her nose where the
greatest concentration of Master’s perfume lays. Finding it at the base where
Master’s cock meets his balls, His slut closes her eyes and draws in the breath
of his Cocks live giving fragrance.
“Worship with a closed mouth Isabella”
Happily this slut rains kisses over His Cock making sure
that no spot if left untouched. Her lips feel Master’s Cock come to life,
rising to its full height, tall, firm and strong while her lips reverently
adore.
“Esteem my cock with your tongue Isabella”
At last permission is granted to taste of Master’s Cock. His
slut uses just the tip of her tongue to trace the strong veins that make up the
texture. Down Master’s balls feeling them tighten and the skin crinkle from the
piety His slut gives them. Sure that there was not a spot left ignored a flat
tongue was used to slather every part of Master’s Cock, covering it with the
holy water from His sluts mouth.
“Now Isabella, show your adoration”
With a swipe up the thick vein that gives life to Master’s
Cock, his slut kisses the spot where the life force flows from and revels in
the glory of the smooth bulbous entering her mouth. Savoring the feel, the
taste and the glory of it, Master’s slut holds it there for a moment before her
mouth slides down and takes all of the Cock’s majesty in to her throat.
Master cries out, lifting his hips up and His Cock jerks as
it brings forth its life-giving saintly essence to His humble slut.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Cock Worship - what’s the big deal, it’s just a blow job.
At least that was what I thought; I can suck a cock down my
throat as if my life depended on it. Maybe that’s because at one time it did.
It was a skill I learned very quickly to do with proficiency. Suck a dick dry,
leaving it happily satisfied, I’ve even learned to find my own pleasure in the
action. I like sucking Master’s dick, I find it fun and gratifying knowing that
my mouth brings Him pleasure has a – wettening effect on me.
So Cock Worship should be the same thing –
Insert penis
– A,
Into mouth –
B
As long as there are both A & B parts, anyone can follow
the procedures until they reach the natural concussion. The mechanics of the
act are the same, the difference lies in the attitude taken to reach the
conclusion.
Yes it was still Master’s Cock I was pleasing but my
attitude changed to see his Cock as an entity in its own right. I didn’t just
want to make it Master Cum, after all that is an everyday occurrence. My goal
wasn’t the happy ending; my focus was on the Cock that got him there.
Like an idol of devotion when Worshiping Master’s Cock I
will make it my goal to –
1. show my admiration
2. demonstrate my addiction
3. give my undivided attention
4. lose all my inhibitions
5. enthusiastically enjoy every part of it
6. give the full use of my mouth
7. resolve unwaveringly to give pleasure
8. anticipate its needs
9. eagerly accept its fluid into my body
10. always be prepared to show my devotion
