BPOV
“Bella arch your back and stick your ass out more”
I was getting kind of tired of the bossiness, I was glad for Leah’s
help after all I had no idea what to get Edward for his birthday. I had already
given him the season tickets but I wanted to surprise him with an actual gift.
After all everyone likes to open presents and since he is always talking about
how much he likes to unwrap me I thought a few personal photos would be an excellent
idea.
However after nearly two hours of listening to Leah’s directions I was
beginning to have my doubts. Looking over my shoulder I gave her an icy glare
“You know for someone who didn’t even want to do this you sure is bossy”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to do it. What I said was I’ve never taken
erotic pictures before. But if my name is going on these, then you can bet your
sweet-ass they are going to be
perfect. Now stick your butt out so I can get the shot and we can move on to
the next pose before Edward gets here”
Turning my head back to face the wall I steeled my outstretched arms,
arching my back and not even commenting when she demanded I point my toe more.
I couldn’t really complain because it was partly my fault we were running
behind. Lunch with Esme had gone slightly longer then I had expected, mostly
because she insisted on showing me the banquet halls. It was a little strange
she would make such a spectacle just so I could see where Rose’s shower was
going to be held. It was of course spectacularly beautiful, the views alone
where amazing. However the rich gold tones, lavish chandeliers and marble walls
were slightly ostentatious for my taste.
I would never say that to Esme’s face as judging from conversations we
had, it was clear that Edward’s mother was accustomed to fine things. Not that
she came off as pretentious just she had a ‘spare
no expense’ attitude. She wasn’t putting on a show to impress anyone; Esme
Cullen was a woman who thought lavishness was an ingrained female quality. I
suppose with Rose and especially Alice she would be correct.
Me I was more of the home grown type, the sentiment was more important
than the cost, not that I didn’t splurge on occasion it just wasn’t a normal occurrence.
I wasn’t raised to rent a hall with caterers for parties, or to order a
birthday cake from the bakery. It seemed to mean more when you woke up to the
aroma of the cake baking, knowing someone got up early to make your day special.
It was my plan to do that for Edward and balked at the suggestion she bring the
cake. It was already a concession on his mother’s part to allow me to host the
party and I didn’t want to hurt Esme’s feelings or take anything away from her
but I really wanted to bake Edward's cake.
I also got a small idea of Esme’s aversion to our lifestyle; she had a
taste of the violence men caused women. The firsthand experience had left a
lasting impression on her, I believe in Esme’s mind she sees Jane as weak, or
worse, a whore who belittles herself to gain the acceptance of a man. I knew
that Jane came from a working class family – much like I did – and I wondered
if Esme thought Jane’s motives were for financial gain. That thought didn’t set
well with me because I knew of the love Aro had for his slave, the devotion it
took to see to her needs, and the mutual respect needed to be successful. It
also worried me that if Edward’s mother could think so little of a woman who
has been with her brother for thirty years – what did she think me?
I didn’t really dwell on those thoughts because it seemed very clear
Esme had no animosity towards me. She was warm friendly and open however I also
felt like I was under some sort litmus test, a hidden agenda to get information
from me. Esme was never rude or overly aggressive in her attempts and to be
honest I can’t say I blamed her either. If my son was suddenly not only entertaining a woman but also moving her into his home I’m sure I would want to
check her out too.
It was something I had tried to make Edward understand earlier, moving
in with him to play house would make me look like some gold-digging little harlot.
Despite the fact of my insisting to pay something towards the bills I would
only ever be the woman mooching off him so he had a permanent fuck buddy. Maybe
that was a harsh comparison, yet that’s how I felt.
Even with Carlisle who had already mentioned he thought of me as a
daughter it was still rather unnerving to have him notice my obvious presence
in Edward’s house. He had insisted on going inside with me to get the garment
bag with Edward’s suit and the tote I had gathered with the rest of the stuff I
needed. When I came down stairs he was standing in the dining room looking at
the picture of ‘Mother Nature’ we had hung on the wall.
Turning to me he took the garment bag from my hands, laid it in the
table and focused back on the piece of art “This is new”
“Yes” there was no reason to deny it “Edward bought it in Oregon. He
said she reminded him of me, but I don’t really see the resemblance”
Glancing from me to the picture he hummed “Hmmmm…maybe it’s the hair
and eye color”
That was true, the woman depicted had the same chestnut hair and brown
eyes but Edward had said the similarities were more the intuition and
underlying desire she held in her gaze.
There was no way in hell I was going to mention that.
Carlisle glanced around the room with an impassive eye “There seems to
be a great number of additions”
Following his lead I took notice of a few framed pictures on the buffet
and the rocks we had painted but hadn’t gotten to put outside yet. My roses
Edward had bought me on vacation were still in full bloom sitting in the middle
of the dining room table. But the most telling part of my presence was Seth lying
on the floor by my feet. I got a sudden need to explain the existence of my
things taking over his son’s home.
“I’m only here temporally” once it was said the words made it seem like
I was forcing myself on Edward and emptying his wallet along the way so I
quickly justified myself “It was Edward’s idea I stay for a few weeks but I still have my own house. I would never expect
him to change anything for me and I didn’t ask him to buy the picture, he did that
all on his own”
Carlisle narrowed his eyes as if scrutinizing my words and I took that
to mean he wanted more of an explanation of our arrangement. “I don’t let
Edward foot the bill for everything, we split the groceries and I offered to
share the utilities but he won’t hear of it. I did however buy the stained
glass window for the kitchen.”
The look I was getting made me think Carlisle wanted to see what I was
talking about; sliding the tote off my arm and onto the table I motioned for
him to follow me “I’ll show you”
Seth trailed after us into the kitchen, going over to the counter where
his jar of doggy treats sat next to the refrigerator; staring up at it to let
me know he wanted one. Twisting open the lid I glanced over my shoulder to see Carlisle
once again taking in the décor. Following his roaming eye across the yellow
cloth covered table with the mosaic napkin holder and matching salt and pepper
set perched in the middle of it. Next came the mug-tree of mix-matched cups on
the counter alongside of the new coffee maker, then on to the red wicker basket
filled with fresh fruits. The last thing he looked at was Seth’s bone shaped
rubber mat situated in the corner where his food and water dishes were.
Giving Seth the treat I watched Carlisle’s eyes settle on the item we
came to see. Even with the grey rainy sky the yellow rose bush surrounded by
the fluttering wings of the blue butterflies seemed to brighten the room.
“Wow…that’s…colorful”
Not sure if that was a good thing or not I had to ask “Too much?”
Giving me a smile Carlisle shook his head “Not for me, I enjoy color;
I’m just a little stunned because Edward has always been more…restrained when
it came to decorating. His taste ran more towards stark institutional whiteness
with very little accessories.”
That was true; when Edward suggested I bring Seth here for our usual
weekends I commented ‘but your house is
so…white’ Carlisle had described it perfectly Stark White without a thing out of place or sitting around. At
first I thought it might have been a border line case of compulsive behavior but I
quickly realized it was just that Edward thrived on order – that included chaotic
order. As long as things were in their proper place and had a good reason for
being there, he was perfectly fine.
“Edward just likes things clean” I said in an attempt to defend my man
“This house was always almost too
clean and in my opinion lacked any personality so this is quite a change from
what I’m used to. The throw blankets
over the couch, the framed photos on table tops, and everyday items
sitting around are just…” Carlisle trailed off as he looked around the room
once more before adding
“It’s like a different house, but I guess that’s what happens when a
woman moves in…”
I told Edward this was going to
happen
“…she adds a womanly touch that turns a house into a home”
What?
“A woman tends to bring out the feminine side of us…” he smiled slyly
“…in a completely macho way of
course.” His laughter making me giggle as he went on “I believe it’s supposed
to be that way, when’s it time for a man to…”
To what?
“…grow up…” Carlisle smiled like he was recalling some inside joke “…and we begin to appreciate the charms of the fairer sex – no offence” holding
up his hand while I shook my head in dismissal “…we have a tendency to change
so we can accommodate them. After all like I said it’s the woman who makes the
house a home and if the man keeps fighting her simply because he’s not ready to
give up his realm…well it becomes a constant struggle for dominance – don’t you
think?”
I understood what he was saying, Edward making changes or allowing me
to add some personal touches was a sign he was ready for a meaningful
relationship. What Carlisle said made total sense and it was a definite sign of
male maturity. However all I could think about was the underlining message of
his little speech.
“You…you don’t care that I’m staying here?”
“Not at all” he gave a little chuckle “My son’s a grown man he can have
anyone here he wants, so it wouldn’t really matter even if I did object”
Dropping my gaze I grumbled under my breath “It would matter to me”
“I know…” my eyes shot to his, there was an emotion there I didn’t
quite understand “…and that’s one of those things I admire about you Bella –
Your integrity”
He admires my integrity?
As if he could read my mind Carlisle gave me a smile and explained “I
knew the type of young woman you were the first time I met you. It was so clear you were enamored with Edward
yet rather than try to impress him, or me, your major concern was for Sally’s
welfare.”
That was the night after Edward and I had met, it had been a long day
at The Center and I was having dinner at the pub with Carol.
“I went home that night and told Esme I had met the woman our son was
going to...fall in love with”
“You did?” total amazement colored my tone
“Yes…” he said with a nod and a satisfied grin “I most certainly did.”
Smiling back at him I admitted “I love him too”
“I know…I can tell. And it’s that love you have for my child that makes
Esme and I love you in return. I told you the other night, to us you are family,
in our hearts you are our daughter”
The sincerity of his voice told me Carlisle meant every word he just
said. Edward’s parents didn’t think I was some gold-digging Jezebel, or a silly
hick girl from bum-fucked Forks. Esme wasn’t just trying to drill me for
information she was trying to get to know the person who she was inviting into
her life. I wasn’t an outsider, or the girl their son was presently bedding.
They didn’t expect me to be here today and gone tomorrow, his parents were anticipating
me to be part of their lives for a long time.
Overcome with a feeling of acceptance I didn’t think twice about what I
was doing as I hugged myself to Carlisle and there was no awkward moment or
hesitation on his part to return the embrace.
“Thank you for making me feel like family”
“You don’t have to feel like anything Bella” he said placing a fatherly
kiss on the top of my head “You already are…so just…be”
Being with Carlisle reminded me of Billy; no matter how old I was there
was always a safe place in his lap and strong arms to protect me. I had told
Esme earlier Phil was my daddy, but so was Billy, he offered me unconditional
love. No condemnation or accusations,
just pure fatherly affection, much as I assumed Carlisle would also do.
Giving me a squeeze Carlisle spoke with an amused tone “Well now that we’re all family, would you mind telling me why there’s
a pile of rocks on the sideboard in the dining room?”
Backing away I gave a laugh “Those are our souvenirs”
Wide curious eyes met mine “You couldn’t just buy a t-shirt?”
I shrugged “Rocks are free, they last forever and I never have to launder them”
“I stand corrected” he said with a chuckle but quickly seemed to grasp
the idea when I showed him one of the rocks with Hooker-Red nail polish
spelling out the words ‘Lincoln City OR’
over the date ‘June 2010.’ I had hoped the future
would bring us many more eternal mementos’ but those rocks were special as they
were our first ones.
“Ok Bells…take off those things off and let’s get set up for the last
shots” Leah’s voice brought me back to the task at hand.
“Can I at least see the pictures?” Not bothering to remove the purple
fringed panties or wide black bow she had tied around my hips.
“I’ll show them to you later” glancing at the clock she gave me an
exacerbated sigh “We only have twenty minutes until Edward gets here so hurry
up or you’ll ruin the surprise”
Reaching behind my back to pull the ribbon open I was rather
dissatisfied with her answer “I thought you didn’t even like Edward”
“I never said that” my mouth dropped open as I stared at her in total
disbelief which Leah acknowledged with a serene smile “I said I
was leery of him, there is a big difference between caution and dislike. But
he’s starting to grow on me, besides…”
“I know, I know your putting your name on these pictures”
“See you think you know everything…” the smugness rolling off her
“…what I was going to say is I can tell Edward really loves you…and…” her eyes
raked over my exposed skin “… since I am absolutely sure there are definitely
no bruises on your body I can be happy for you. Now hurry up and get naked.”
The blush warmed my skin, not that I was embarrassed to be nude in
front of Leah; after all we have been taking baths together since I could
remember. We shared a room and changed in front of each other all the time,
modesty was not something you could afford when you lived in small homes.
Besides, Native American’s had no misgivings about flaunting the natural state
of the body. Human sexuality was a normal part of living and in a sense a form
of worship to the great father. It was a way of honoring him for the miraculous
body he supplied you with.
The self-consciousness was a product of the provocative poses Leah had
placed me in. When I first suggested the photo-shoot it hadn’t really dawned on
me what I was going to have to do. I also wasn’t exactly sure what positions to
use. Leaving the finer details to Leah I made only two demands against her
artistic liberties. First under no circumstances was there to be any nipple
showing and second, absolutely no crotch shots.
Even with following my rules it was still rather daunting to stand
before the camera exposed as I was, the worst part was I hadn’t even been
completely naked yet. Making my awkwardness harder to understand was the fact
that I had not only been filmed nude by Edward but was also captured engaging
in rather lewd acts of degradation. None of which really bothered me, neither
the filming nor the watching of it, so why in the world partially nude still
shots seemed so horrific was beyond me. All I could reason was it was the
person behind the camera that made the difference.
With Edward I felt sensual, erotic and aroused – it was easy to forget
about what was happening so I could get lost in the sensations and enjoy the
experience.
With Leah it seemed dirty, offensive and naughty – and not in a good
kind of naughty but more like it was something you hoped your father didn’t
catch you doing.
It just seemed wrong to show my sister the uninhibited me. At first I
thought it was because it was immoral to be so forward in front of anyone
expect Edward. Yet that couldn’t be, because I had no reservations about acting
on my licentious desires in front of people at the club. Or in other public
places like restaurants and parking lots, when Edward said it was ok to let
go…I did as he ordered.
It sort of reminded me of the saying ‘Let go and Let God’ – meaning one
needs to recognize a higher power, give themselves over to it and allow
whatever it is to direct their life.
I suppose my motto should be ‘Let go and Let Master.’
Grinning at the thought I realized that’s where the problem lied, I was
self-conscious because whenever I had let go of those ‘good girl’ inhibitions – the ones that say ‘a proper woman’ would never behave like this – it was always under
Edward’s demand.
It was my eyes watching the live sex scene, my body orgasmed
in ecstasy while total strangers looked on and I‘m the one who walked around
scantily dressed, yet it was Master’s will that made those acts acceptable.
I needed to harness the submissive in me just enough to let go,
otherwise my discomfort was going to show and ruin the picture. The other poses
Leah had me in were not total nudes and they didn’t exactly show my full face.
The last one was the most exciting but also the most intimidating.
“Hurry up Bella or I swear we’re not going to have time” Leah was
rushing to put a white silk throw on the floor while I removed the scraps of
fabric which barely covered my bottom.
“Come on lay down on your belly, knees bent, toes pointed to the
ceiling”
As I got into position she had me raise my shoulders up, resting my upper body weight on my elbows. Stepping back she continued to bark orders about how
to position my feet and hands. Once she was happy Leah got a rope made of
pearly beads and started draping it around my lower half, even dangling some
from my toes. Looking through her camera
she made a few adjustments to the backdrop and my hair before snapping off the
photos.
“Are you sure my nipples aren’t showing?”
“Your nipples aren’t showing!” she snapped “Would you please try to
concentrate on something sexy”
While her fingers clicked away she continued to give me directions to
help me focus but I found I needed to tune her out. Sexy wasn’t exactly what I
was going for, in my mind I went through the exercises I use when preparing
myself for Master.
“That’s better Bells…look directly into the camera and …”
Think of Master
I thought the words as Leah said them, only she used his name while I used
the title.
She adjusted my feet and hands a few more times along with the angle of
my face while she moved around snapping off more pictures. Once she was finally
done and the pearls were removed I was able to get up. Slipping on my pink silk
robe I did my hair for the photo with Edward and stuffed the rest of the things
I had used into the tote bag. Glancing at the clock, I surprised to see it was
four-fifteen when the door bell rung sending Seth in a barking frenzy towards
it.
“Go get your man” Leah said with a smirk as she tossed me the fur
covered blanket “I’ll finish getting this set up”
It always amazes me how just seeing him can take my breath away and
watching his eyes nearly pop out of his head at what I was wearing certainly
did boost my morale. I couldn’t help but tease him by mentioning the ten minute
time limit and his need to undress. I knew damn well where his mind would go so
I played it up, making him follow me like a puppy with his tongue hanging out. I
cringed a little bit when Edward asked where Leah was and called me nâhtötse. It was still up in the air how
my dear sister would handle him calling me pet but she didn’t really seem to
care. In fact the smirk on Leah’s face made me laugh yet that was nothing
compared to the expression on Edward.
In a matter of mere seconds he went through at least five different
emotions until all that was left was the blank stare of disappointment. My
laughter earned me a completely new look – irritation- Edward hated when I
teased him but it really was his own fault. Did the man honestly think I was
going to give him the blow job of his life at Leah’s house? Edward had left the
time and the place up to me with a deadline of six pm Friday; I planned to use
that to my advantage.
Part of my stagy was simple postponement; much like Master does to me
when we’re in the playroom. He’ll stand back making me wait for him until the
anticipation and sexual tension is so thick I’m ready to pop with a simple
touch. I was going to use the same power
play, only in the form of sexual denial.
There wasn’t anything I could do about our usual Wednesday night
playtime but from then on, I was going to cock-block him every step of the way.
I figured between all the teasing, unfulfilled sexual tension, and pure eagerness
the scales would be tilted in my favor.
The question was…how much was I going to pay for it afterwards? And was
a bowl of Fruity Pebbles really worth all of this?
Looking at Edward with a smirk on my face I decided it didn’t matter
how he repaid me because those sweet crunchy little crisp of fruity goodness
were worth it.
