Chapter 64
BPOV
“A booty call?” the words left my mouth in astonishment while Seth must have thought I needed a definition.
“Yeah a booty call, you know-snatch, poontang, pussy?”
My face was in a permanent state of shock as I stared at Seth, “I know damn well what it is.”
“Bells…”
Glaring at Jake I didn’t care what he had to say, I was pissed. “How could you do that without asking me?”
“You weren’t here and I didn’t think you would care.” The calmness in his voice fueled my anger to the point where I could feel the blood boiling in my face.
“Y…you…you…” I must have sounded ridiculous struggling for the words while my mouth kept moving with no sound coming out because Paul laughed, “you look like a fish out of water.”
My eyes widened and the word water brought back a memory. Glaring at Jake I yelled and pointed an accusatory finger at him, “This is worse than when you put squeakers in the pool!”
Jake rolled his eyes “How the hell was I supposed to know gerbils couldn’t swim?”
“That’s not the point,” I was still pointing my finger at him, “you had no right to touch him!”
“You’re the one who left him outside on the porch. I was trying to help by cooling him off.”
I could hear Sue at the door asking what all the yelling was for while Edward was trying to hand me back the hoodie. But I couldn’t answer because there was no way I was taking the blame for him killing my gerbil.
“Only because Billy wouldn’t let me take him in the house!” as usual when I get angry my hands become animated, shaking a pointed finger at my chest, “Besides Squeakers is my gerbil!”
“Was,” Jake said smugly. “Now he’s buried in the front yard under that rock you made me paint.”
“That was your…” I wanted to say penance, instead I gasped in shock from Edward pulling the sweatshirt over my head with a stern voice in my ear, “Isabella put on this fucking shirt.”
It was then as I was sliding my hands under the hoodie, bringing them quickly through the arms that I remembered how I was dressed. The sweat shirt I had been wearing was wet so I took it off when I got a new one for Edward. That was all forgotten when I couldn’t find Seth. Pulling the hoodie down over my body it was clear that in my anger I acted rather trashy. Then with all the hand movements the girls were probably bouncing all over the place and Edward sounded irate.
Paul didn’t make it any better, “Awww! Edward you ruined it, my boy parts were just starting to get bigger.”
The growl from Edward’s chest vibrated through my body.
“Oh fuck me,” I muttered looking up to heaven for support while Paul laughed, “Damn girl, you just came back from the motel.”
“Fuck you!” my yelling only made him laugh harder while Paul waved his hand at me, “No thank you, I’m not in the mood anymore.”
Sue reminded me about the language as my anger flared again. Pointing a finger at the annoying man leaning against the railing my voice came out in a seething tone, “If you say one more word…just one…go ahead I dare you.”
He seemed unfazed by the threat as he took a drink of beer while my attention went back to Jake. “Where is he?” From the corner of my eye I saw Paul lean towards me, “Boo.”
A frustrated scream left my throat and I leaped in his direction yelling “You are such a fucking asshole!”
I didn’t get anywhere near him because Edward’s arm reached out and grabbed me around my waist. Pulling me back he spun us to look away from the insufferable ass and into the heated glare of Sue standing in the doorway.
“Isabella, settle down,” Edwards’s words were stern and my body shook against him while I took in deep breaths still listening to Paul chuckling behind us. “You’re getting feisty Bella, I kind of like it. What other tricks…”
His words came to an abrupt end when Edward spoke in that tone of his that was both intimidating and exciting, “Jacob, I assume Seth is over at Sam’s?”
“Yeah”
Hearing that, I felt some of the tension leave my body.
Of course where else would he be?
I felt kind of stupid that I didn’t figure that out before, but then again with all the yelling I really wasn’t thinking straight at all.
Edward moved us to the end of the porch, “Come on.”
Jake moved along with us, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m taking Bella to go get him,” Edward spoke as if it should be obvious. Going down the two steps he grasped my thighs hoisting me onto his back so he could carry me. Wrapping my body around his I rested my cheek on his shoulder. “I can walk.”
It’s not that I didn’t like when Edward carried me or that I minded the way my body flooded with warmth at being so close to him. It was more of the fact that I didn’t want him to think that I was so upset that I was incapable of basic functions.
“I’m not going to let you walk through the wet grass and the woods with those things on your feet.”
Looking down at what he was talking about I understood his reasoning. I had kicked off my sneakers when I went into the bedroom to change, slipping on flip flops to walk through the house, never dreaming that I would be traipsing around outside. Then again, I never dreamed that Jake would send my baby off to be some kind of canine mack daddy.
As we walked across the yard Jake said something about getting flashlights and as we entered the woods I looked back to see both him and Seth following us. The other three stayed on the porch, which surprised me, especially Paul who enjoys being in the center of things. He always has something to say and usually it’s inappropriate. He means no harm nor would he purposely cause any and it’s not like he tries to be an ass, he just was.
My arms tightened around Edwards’s chest, I knew that he wasn’t happy about me being semi-exposed on the porch. In all honesty I couldn’t understand why. Edward was a sexually adventurous person who had no problems with public orgasms or nudity. Still I had to know how mad he was.
I kissed his neck rubbing my nose against his skin breathing in his scent. “Are you terribly upset?”
“Not so terribly,” he sighed. “Just a smidgen.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
I did know why, at least the initial reason but I didn’t understand how he could seem to have a double standard of appropriateness.
“That was the reason I gave you the sweatshirt in the first place, so that you would keep yourself covered. I don’t want everyone staring at you with bulging eyes, making lewd comments about your assets. Those belong to me Isabella; no one has a right to see them unless I say so.”
I thought about everything that was said on the porch, “Paul didn’t really get a hard-on, he was just…”
Edward cut me off with a quick retort, “Does it really matter?”
Did it?
“No, but…” I stopped myself unsure if I should continue with what I was thinking.
“But what?”
I sighed uncertain of how to even phase it while Edward groaned in annoyance. I figure it would be better to just say it and clarify later if needed, than to have him even more upset with me. “You said that it would bring you pleasure to have others watching and wanting me knowing they could never have me.”
“I did say that and it does bring me pleasure. Isabella, I’m not averse to showing off your body, it’s fantastic and worthy of attention. However, it needs to be done in the correct atmosphere where conduct is expected to be restrained and you are treated with the respect you deserve.”
That was true I was disrespected but it was only the guys and I was used to them. After all they have known me since we were children; we’ve watched each other grow through the awkward adolescence stage to the fullness of adulthood. We’ve laughed, cried, and teased one another just like any other close group of friends who know each other so well. I wanted to explain all that to Edward but he continued talking.
“That’s why I wanted you covered, in part because I knew that there was no way I would be able to control their reactions. The other more important reason was because neither of us received any pleasure from the comments that were made. All they did was serve to make me angry and you frustrated to the point of losing your temper.”
I did lose my temper however my mind fixated on one word, “Are you angry with me?”
“Absolutely not, you did nothing wrong Isabella except to react without thinking. I can’t fault you for that especially when your concern was for Seth. I didn’t forbid you; my words were that I preferred that you keep yourself covered. Had you defied me with putting on the second sweatshirt that would have been a different story”
Looking over my shoulder I saw that Jake and Seth were far behind us. Still, I didn’t want them to hear me so I made sure to speak softly by Edward’s ear. “Master, your girl would never intentionally defy you.”
“Never say never Isabella.” Edward grinned deviously then added, “The only thing I’m going to ask of you is that in the future you please think before reacting.” His eyes shifted sideways to look at me, “Please?”
How could I say no to such a request?
Kissing his cheek I assured him that I would try hard to think about what I’m doing and I made a vow to myself to always consider his feelings. Edward had a need to stay in control of things especially where I was concerned. Not that he had to control every aspect of my life or keep me under lock and key. His control came forth when it was needed, taking command of a situation and seeing that no harm came to me either physically or emotionally.
He could be possessive but not in an abusive way that causes fear or anxiety by being overbearing. There are never any harsh belittling insults to get me to do what he wanted or to keep me in my place. Explanations always accompany his reasoning, giving me a clear sense of his feelings rather than filling me with guilt. It’s a gentle reminder that I belonged to him just as he belongs to me and he wants there to be no mistake about that fact in anyone’s mind.
Edward loved me beyond any way that I have ever been loved before, unconditionally. He loves me the same whether I’m perfect or flawed. That was something that I have never known. The whole time I was growing up Charlie never said the words. As an adult I can understand that he does indeed love me and that his lack of vocalizing it had nothing to do with me. As a child I always wondered what I was doing wrong. Why my daddy didn’t love me the way other daddy’s loved their children, with hugs, bedtime stories and kisses goodnight.
James never loved me at all he was only with me to get something. Looking back and knowing what I feel for Edward, I can see that I never loved him either. I was enamored with the idea of someone loving me. A bad reason to get married and I suppose it would be simple to chalk it up to my youth but it was more than that. It was my own self esteem telling me that what James was giving me was the only thing I was worthy of.
Now I know that’s bullshit. Edward has taught me the meaning of mutual respect. He respects me in all things, insists that I respect not only him but myself as well and expects me to demand it from others. I’m learning to do that because Edward has also shown me that I’m worth it.
Sam wasn’t in the yard, however the door to the shed was open and I told Edward to go in there. Just as we got to the door there was a howl that made me cringe. Inside my poor baby was on his hind legs mounting Bessie while Sam stood off to the side.
“Oh Seth, that’s your sister!” I cried out as Edward let go of my legs so I could stand. I was going to tell Sam to throw some water on them when Seth backed away, twisted his body and stood with his rear end butted up against Bessie’s.
Oh my god…what the heck is he doing?
I stood there with Edward staring in shock while Jake and Seth walked in and Sam was saying something but all I could do was watch my baby struggling to get away. I didn’t know what to do and all I could hear was Jake praising him, “Way to go buddy, you knew what to do,” and my brothers calm tone, “Cool.”
Cool?... Way to go?
My dog is starting to freak out because he can’t move and they think this is a good thing? My anger that had dissolved on the walk over was back in full force. I tried to keep my voice as calm as I could so that I didn’t upset Seth anymore than necessary, “Edward…give me your belt.”
“What?”
I didn’t even look at him as my hands went to his pants, “I want your belt.”
Edward’s hands clamped down on my wrist stopping me from opening the buckle, “NO!”
“Edward pleeasssse…look what he did,” he might have had my wrist but my fingers were still able to move the leather through the buckle.
He squeezed my wrist tighter pushing them away, “Baby I never thought I would say this but stop trying to take off my pants.”
I looked up into his eyes shaking my head and pleading, “Pleeeaaaseee…I don’t want your pants, Just your belt…please Edward? I want to hurt him!”
“Fuck you woman!” Jake yelled while I kept trying to plead with Edward as my dog was whining and yelping in pain.
“No…Isabella…No.” Edward pushed my hands away in a final answer.
“But he hurt my baby, listen to him crying he’s in pain.”
Edward smiled at me, “He’s not in any pain.”
As he said the words Sam laughed making me look at him, “I guarantee Seth is not in pain Bella.”
“Then why is he freaking out?”
“He’s stuck and a little scared…come here.”
I walked over kneeling next to Sam sucking in a small breath as my bottom rested against my heels while I listened to what Sam said. “Pet him and talk calmly to him. He’ll settle down.”
Once my hand rested on Seth’s head he did calm down. I shushed and petted his head while looking over as much of his body as I could see. A feeling of protection for him surged through me as he looked up at me with sad helpless eyes. He needed me to stay composed so that I could bring him comfort. Kneeling there taking care of my pet, I wondered if this was how Edward felt when he was caring for me. It didn’t matter that my own bottom was tingling heat near to the point of pain, or that the floor was cold damp concrete, Seth needs came first. My eyes shifted up to Edward for a second. He had his own look of concern and I realized I was right, that is exactly how he feels.
“Awe…my poor baby what did mean old Jake do to you?” I asked Seth while scratching behind his ears the way he likes it.
“I didn’t do anything,” Jake was still insisting making me glare at him while Sam was perplexed, “What is going on? I was assured that it was alright.”
“It was not alright. I didn’t give him permission to do this, and how come Bessie isn’t scared?” Bessie was standing there with her butt smashed up against Seth’s looking calm as could be; in fact I think she was panting.
“Bessie is seasoned. She’s been mated before so she knows what’s happening.”
My eyes went back to Jake, “You not only turned my dog into a gigolo you gave him to a slut?”
“Bessie isn’t a slut,” Sam interjected while Seth just had to make a comment, “I wouldn’t call him a gigolo since they get paid for their services. He’s more like a hump and jump.”
Glowering at my brother I didn’t find him amusing, unlike all the other people in the room who were snickering, “You’re not helping here…honest to god, you’re not helping at all.”
My attention went back to my dog while the four of them stood there talking about how this came about. I was half listening as Edward said that he mentioned to Jake that I was talking about getting Seth fixed. The two of them agreed that it would be sad that he would never get laid. Jake then took it upon himself and talked to Sam, who said that Bessie was in heat and since it had been a year she was ready for another litter. One thing led to another and that was how we found ourselves in the shed with my dog’s dick stuck inside his sister’s coochie.
“I don’t know how this happened,” I muttered while petting down Seth’s back staying far away from the butt end.
“Well you see Bells the male has a penis…” my piercing stare stop Seth in mid sentence.
“I know that…what I mean is he never showed any interest in sex. He’s not a crotch sniffer, or a furniture rubber, he never even licked his own balls. Why…”
“He is male Bella, just because he never did those things doesn’t mean the urge wasn’t there. He needed something to stimulate him and a bitch in heat did the trick.” Sam was quiet for a second then he asked, “You were thinking about getting Seth fixed?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe.”
He pursed his lips nodding slightly, “You might have to now…” he must have seen the question on my face because he went on, “dogs are like people Bella. They get a taste of sex, it feels good, they like it and they want more.”
Comprehension of what Sam was saying dawned on me making my fury with Jake come back once again only this time there was no yelling. I spoke with dead calm seriousness. “If my dog turns into a leg humping nympo, I’m going to get the biggest fucking whip I can and beat your ass…” My voice grew sinister, “…and I know where they are. So if I was you I would be afraid, I would be very afraid.”
EPOV
Bella continued to glare with an evil stare that was unnerving and I was kind of glad that it wasn’t directed at me. Bella weighs all of a hundred and fifteen pounds but something told me that in her current state of mind, she would be a force to be reckoned with. I wasn’t the only one who saw it, as Jacob took a small step behind me so I could be his shield.
“Does she really know where the whips are?” he spoke quietly while I nodded in affirmation.
“Does she know how to use them?”
Shaking my head I answered quietly, “I don’t think so.”
Jacob breathed a sigh of relief and I figured that it was too early to let him off the hook for what he did. “They hurt more in the hands of the inexperienced user.”
Jacob gasped, “Well damn dude, hide them or something. Order her not to touch them, come on you have to watch my back.”
It was hard not to roll with laugher at the ‘order her’ comment, for Bella’s sake I stifled the amusement to a chuckle. A few weeks ago Jacob sat in my kitchen telling me that he didn’t want to know or think about what we did in private, yet there he was making light of it in silent acceptance.
“What the heck is going on in here?” Charlie came into the shed followed by Leah, “Jake come on I’m...” her words faltering as she took in the scene, “…ohhhh”
“Dad…” Bella whined, “…look what Jake did.”
Leah jabbed an elbow at her husband’s ribs, “I told you not to do it, you know how she feels about that dog.”
Charlie sighed clapping the back of his neck, “Well Bells these things happen. Boys have urges and the girl shakes her tail to get his attention and the next thing you know,” he gestured with his hands at the dogs making it obvious what he was talking about.
Bella looked appalled, “Are you going to stand there explaining sex to me?”
“I didn’t think I had to, but if you need a refresher?” Charlie’s lips twitched as he tried to keep a serious expression.
The rest of us snickered while poor Bella rolled her eyes, “No thank you, once was enough.”
The thought of Charlie having a facts-of-life talk with Bella made me chuckle as he continued, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” Bella’s eyes widened at his words but he didn’t care. “If anyone should be upset it would be Sam. He’s the one who is going to get stuck with the care of puppies.”
“Puppies?” she questioned.
“Well what do you think Bessie is going to have, chickens?”
“Puppies,” Bella muttered like the thought hadn’t even occurred to her.
Jacob spoke up, “We’ll take a puppy.”
“Sam, how long?” Bella asked still sounding astonished
He shrugged, “two months.”
Seth moved a little finally coming away from Bessie, Leah pointed her finger, “oh…look his little wiener is sticking out.”
Bella first looked to Sam, who assured her that he will go back to normal and then went into protective mode, “Can we not talk about Seth’s dick please?”
“Yeah, stop talking about my dick, besides it’s not that little.”
Charlie being indignant at what was being said, “Hey now, there is no need for foul language.”
Bella moved to get up wincing slightly making me wonder if her discomfort was from her bottom or her knees, either way I stepped closer reaching out my hand for support. Bella smiled at me mouthing a ‘thank you’ before answering her father, “Dick is foul language? What about Dick Cheney?”
“Now he’s just a foul man, Republicans. Huh!” Bella looked at me biting her lip to keep from laughing while I chuckled silently.
It was good to finally see her laughing, the last half hour had been intense and while Charlie continued to huff about republicans I made a mental note to never discuss politics with him. Sam told us to take Seth home while Leah once again complained about being hungry. Charlie and Leah had brought two vehicles over and everyone else piled into one truck while Bella and I used Seth’s to go back to the house.
That was a good thing because Bella refused to let Seth walk and I wasn’t sure how I was going to carry her and the dog at the same time. Once we got into the house Seth went straight to his bed - poor little guy was exhausted. Bella changed into her black yoga pants and sneakers while I put on the last clean sweatshirt I had.
Before we left Bella took the bottle of wine out of the refrigerator, “I think I’m going to need this.”
I chuckled pulling her into a quick hug, “It has been quite a day and I could use a drink myself.”
Bella sat close to me in the truck leaning against my side while directing me through the dirt roads that led to the beach where the bonfire was being held. A few of the kids were playing volleyball in the sand with the lights shining down from the outside of the large pavilion. Off to the side was a large fire pit that was ready and waiting to be set ablaze.
Bella held my hand as we walked into the pavilion where it seemed that groups had segregated themselves according to ages. Bella set the bottle of wine on the wooden picnic table saying hello to everyone before heading over to the food tables along the back wall. Looking at everything that was being offered my stomach growled with hunger making Bella giggle. I didn’t care, we hadn’t eaten since early afternoon and there in front of me was every kind of food imaginable. As we walked along filling our plates Bella was pointing out various dishes telling me what they were and who made it. She had a plate full of a little bit of everything where I stayed with more of a few things.
Sitting down I grinned at Bella when she stiffened from her bottom hitting the wooden bench and was rather proud that she did it without drawing any attention to herself. I opened the wine with the travel cork screw that’s on my key chain, pouring us both a plastic cup. Not exactly the best way to drink wine, but it works. Bella started mixing her food together beginning in the middle and working her way around the plate until half of everything was all mixed into one pile. Taking a bite I watched her face morph into bliss, her eyes closed as she savored what she was eating, enjoying it so much that she moaned.
She fucking moaned
My dick became rock hard in a nanosecond and I sat there hoping and waiting for another sound, instead I was met with deep brown eyes. “What?”
She caught me watching and she must have known what I was thinking about as her eyes grew slightly darker and her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips. Her sudden quick intake of air made my dick throb with need. I was torn between wanting to kiss her furiously to build her desire, and wanting to take her into the woods to fuck it out of her.
The intensity of our gaze was broken off by Kim, “Bella did they ever catch that guy who was sending those messages to the center?”
What messages?
Bella blinked a few times coming back to reality she looked towards Kim, “Ummm…no. But whoever it was stopped sending them about a month ago.”
“Then you don’t know how he got the address?” Bella took a drink swallowing hard.
“It was probably one of the women who left. They go back to their men and tell them where they were. The women are supposed to keep it a secret but they are scared and when faced with a fist or telling, they tell. Or sometimes they tell of their own free will as a way of proving to be trustworthy. That’s why we have all the security and only a few people have codes to the entrances.”
Kim shook her head, “I don’t know how…” she sighed as her little boy tugged on her arm asking for another drink. She excused herself giving me a chance to ask Bella about the messages.
“They were nothing serious, basic threats against the volunteers. No one was exclusively named, so whoever it was didn’t have specifics.”
Bella spoke so calmly about it that it made me wonder how often something like that occurs. However I didn’t get to ask because Kim returned with sippy cup in hand. Sitting down she picked right back up with the conversation, “anyway, the reason I thought of that is because I have two big bags of clothing to donate. I was going to drop them off at your house this week.”
“Oh, I won’t be home; we’re going to the beach for a few days. Next week would work but…it might be better if I pick them up because I’m never at my house, I’ve been living with Edward.”
Kim seemed shocked and spoke slightly louder, “You’re living together?”
Everyone within the sound of her voice stopped talking to look at us waiting for the answer. “Ummm…” before Bella could completely answer Leah chimed in, “Yeah…Bella has her own room and everything.”
I wasn’t sure if that made the conversation easier or not but Leah went on, “It works out really well because remember when you first started living together and you argued over what you get to keep and what has to go,” Kim nodded showing she remembered. “They don’t argue. Bella can bring the ugliest piece of furniture she has and put it in her room and Edward won’t care. It’s like her chick haven and she can do whatever she wants to in there without him bothering her.”
Kim’s eyes went back to Bella, “So you can sit in there all day long reading and he won’t barge in to bother you?”
I figured it might be a good time to make it clear, “When Bella is in her room, I don’t go in without being invited.”
Kim gasped, “Ohhh…Em…” she looked to her husband with longing, “…I want one of those chick havens, where I can go and be all alone and you or the kids can’t come in.”
Emery didn’t seem as excited as his wife, “Thanks Edward.”
I chuckled looking down the table at Leah who gave me a smile. It wasn’t a glowing recommendation but it was a start at some kind of acceptance. The other person who caught my eye was the person sitting next to her. Jared’s gaze kept shifting back and forth between Jacob and Bella with an expression I didn’t understand.
Everyone else had gotten up and moved to the fire pit while Jacob and Leah sat with us until we finished eating. Bella still had not said anything to Jacob and I could tell that it was starting to bother him. “Bells are you going to talk to me?”
“No…I’m mad at you,” she sounded like a petulant child who needed to stand in the corner.
Leah laughed, “Jake why don’t you have Edward make her talk to you?”
What the hell?
That was the second time tonight that one of them made reference to our relationship. I didn’t get to think about it very long because Bella was still acting rather snappish, “He can’t make me talk to you!”
My eyes shot up in disbelief and she realized her mistake immediately, “Well…he could. But my heart wouldn’t be in it.”
Damn straight I could and she is wrong her heart would be in it
“Never mind I’ll wait. I don’t want your pity talk,” the fake pout was predominate and lost on Bella who rolled her eyes and giggled. She wasn’t that mad at him Bella just wanted him to sweat.
Someone called Jacob’s name making Leah groan, “I don’t want to get up yet.” Jacob laughed kissing her head, “stay here Nenemoo’sha and pick your feet up.” As Jacob got up Leah swung her body lifting her legs onto the bench with a sigh of relief.
“That bad?” Bella asked.
“You have no idea,” Leah didn’t mean to say anything hurtful however the sadness in Bella’s eyes couldn’t be hidden.
“I’m going to get fruit salad, do you want some?”
I nodded watching Bella walk away towards the food tables. She still had on my sweatshirt which was big over her small frame, yet no amount of material could disguise the way her hips swayed. I could picture the full roundness of her bottom all pink and warm from our earlier activities. The thought brought to mind the memory of her squealing and begging while unable to move from the grip I had on her. My own body reacted to the images with arousal that was making it uncomfortable to sit.
“So how would you do it…”
“What?” My brain had registered a voice yet I had no idea what was said. Looking at Leah she clarified her question, “Make her talk to Jake; I was wondering how you would do that?”
I debated if this was a conversation that we should be having. Leah had some preconceived ideas that I didn’t believe would be disbanded no matter what I said. However, avoiding the question wouldn’t do either her or Bella any good.
“I would make it known to Isabella that I wanted her to talk to Jacob.”
“That’s it? It would be that simple?” I simply nodded in agreement not wanting to get into the whole realm of building a relationship. This wasn’t the time to get into all that is required to form a bond of trust that allows the submissive to respond without any hesitation.
She thought about that for a moment then looked at me with an expressionless face, “and what if she didn’t do it?”
I knew from what Bella had told me of their argument where her question was coming from. The problem was that I didn’t know exactly how to answer her. I could whitewash the whole thing make it seem like it wouldn’t matter if Bella disobeyed me, but that would be a lie. Because whether it was something large or small, disobedience would warrant discipline. On the other hand telling Leah the truth might reinforce the ideas she already had. I chose the truth, deciding to let the chips fall where they may.
“Isabella would be reprimanded for disobeying.”
She nodded in understanding “That’s what I want to know about. What do you mean by reprimand? What exactly would happen to her?”
“For something like that a writing assignment would work best.”
“What about for something worse, what would happen then?”
“I can’t truthfully answer that, each offence warrants its own response.”
It was clear that she didn’t like that answer and honestly I didn’t like the vague question. It would have been simple to tell Leah some of the punishments Bella had already received; I didn’t think it was any of her business. If Bella chose to share that information with her sister that was one thing, I wasn’t going to betray her trust simply to ward off Leah’s curiosity.
I could tell that there was something that Leah wanted to know from me. She was the kind of person who was forthcoming with her thoughts so it made me curious why she was being so evasive. I figured it best to save us both the frustration and cut right to the chase.
“What do you really want to know Leah?”
“Bella says that you never hit her…”
“Not for discipline…no I don’t.”
She narrowed her eyes, “Isn’t that standard operating procedures? You beat the crap out of them because they didn’t pick up your socks?”
I couldn’t help the laugh that came out, however Leah didn’t find it funny so I thought it best to enlighten her on D/s 101. “There is no SOP in our world. Each relationship is different just like every marriage is different. What works for one couple doesn’t work for all. There might be some who whip their submissive for not picking up the socks, but that is something that they both agree upon.”
I gave her a moment to think about that before giving the real reason, “Because of Bella’s history of past abuse, it would be detrimental to her and our relationship to physically strike her in punishment. She would shut down, revert back to that scared insecure person. There would be no joy in our relationship, it would only be fear and I would be no better than James.”
Leah was quiet allowing me to comprehend the truth of what I had just said. I couldn’t imagine Bella being any other way then the warm, fun loving woman who shares my life. In a way I’m glad that we hadn’t met before we did. I’ve heard a few comments this weekend about the changes in her and I’m thankful I wasn’t around to see what they all saw. It must have been devastating and it would kill me to be the cause of her suffering. Leah’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“Bella said that one of the reasons she trusts you is because you understand her and make her understand herself. I’ve known Bella practically all my life and I feel like lately I don’t understand her at all.”
There was pain in her voice whether it was from past reflections or present regret I couldn’t tell. The one thing I did know was that Leah wasn’t seeing Bella for what she is. Leah was seeing her for what she thought Bella should be. I didn’t want to cause any more discord in their relationship, but Leah had to see what the problem was.
“I guess that’s because I accept her for what she is. I don’t try to change her or expect something from her that she can’t give. You asked her this morning why she allowed that woman at the diner to talk to her the way she did.” Leah nodded in remembrance, “It’s not in Bella’s nature to be rude or to start a confrontation. The same thing with what happened with James. You wanted her to celebrate, and she was so racked with guilt that she was very near panic.”
“Guilt? From hitting that piece of shit?”
I shook my head, “No, guilt because she was sending that piece of shit out into the world to possibly hurt someone else. Guilt that she felt others would disapprove of her decision and be angry with her. Guilt from knowing that her past actions have caused those she loves pain; and guilt from the fear she feels if all the details of her private hell are made public.”
“Bella told you all that?” surprise laced her tone.
“She did.” I assured her before she turned belligerent, “While you were fucking her I suppose.”
That’s the Leah I know
My voice became stern, “If you must know there was no sex of any kind.”
Her eyes narrowed while she continued to stare at me, “Then why go to a motel room at all, why not go back to the house?”
“Because we needed privacy,” that was as much as I was going to offer and it seemed to me that Leah could understand that.
“In that privacy she could tell you about all those things because she knows that you won’t pass judgment on her weakness.”
“Bella is not weak,” I wanted to make that fact clear. “In fact she is just the opposite. It takes a strong person to live through all that she has without bitterness or self-pity. Strength doesn’t mean loud and harsh. It’s not in her nature to be vindictively cruel and it takes someone very tough to forgive those who have wronged them. Bella’s has a quiet strength that lets everyone around her know that she cares about them and respects them as a person even if you or I don’t think they deserve it.”
Leah nodded, “That quiet strength…is that what makes her …submissive?”
The fact that it was the first time in our conversation that the word submissive was mentioned was not lost on me. I got the feeling that Leah was starting to see the real Bella.
“Yes…among other things.” There was a lot more to a submissive personality that I didn’t have the time to get into. For now it was a starting point.
Leah’s eyes looked passed my shoulder as my eyes followed her gaze I watched Bella hug an older woman in what appeared to be a parting gesture. “I still don’t understand the whole thing. I don’t know why she feels the need to …” she sighed then went on, “In these times when a woman can be anything at all it seems barbaric to me. I have to admit that Bella is happy…” she shook her head in disbelief, “happier than I think I have ever seen her and that’s all that matters. So I’m going to support her in any way I can.”
“That’s good Leah, she loves you and I know that she missed you.”
She nodded putting her hands on the table to push herself off the bench. With a sigh both her hands rested on the small of her back, stretching out her round belly. She stared blankly out onto the beach where the fire was just getting started. I didn’t know what to say and the silence was uncomfortable so I asked the first thing that came to my mind.
“How much longer?”
Her hand moved to rest on top of her belly, “eight weeks.” Leah turned her head giving me a pointed look.
“Edward, I’m trusting you with my sister. Don’t make me regret that decision”
My original Fan-fiction
Mine
A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing. ~ DominaBlue
5/6/11
Chapter 63
Chapter 63
BPOV
I hit him?
I slapped James?
I was so repulsed by his touch that any fear I had turned to anger making me respond without a second thought. Once my hand made contact with his face the sound of the smack registered in my brain and nine years of pent up rage came out in one sentence.
“Don’t you ever touch me!”
Once the words were out of my mouth it felt like every ounce of energy I had went along with them. My legs felt weak, my stomach was queasy, and I had to literally force myself to breathe as I stood there staring into those icy blue eyes. In the back of my mind I knew that there were people with me. I could feel Edward’s presence and Sam was right there with him yet for those few tense moments it was just the two of us.
I wanted to talk with more conviction when I told Casey to call Officer Mark but instead it came out in a weak shaky tone that only made me seem more pathetic. The anger rolled across his face as I stared into his eyes, I could see the hatred and that made me even more determined to stand up for myself. To just once not back down, resolving in my mind that I wasn’t going to let him win. He could try to intimidate me all he wanted; it wasn’t going to work, not this time.
Once James left all I wanted to do was leave. Leah wanted me to stay, to celebrate.
Celebrate what?
Leah acted like I had just won the lottery when all I did was piss James off he was going to go home and take out his anger with me on Victoria. Sitting in the car I was wracked with quilt over that. Leah said ‘Fuck Victoria Kohn. It’s her problem if she stays’ How could she say that? Where is her compassion and understanding? Doesn’t she know how hard it is to leave, how dangerous it is for the woman?
Victoria is not exactly my favorite person she had been with James since high school. Even during the time when James and I were dating, he was seeing her too. I didn’t know that at the time, there had been whispers that he fervently denied. However once we were married it was very clear that they had never separated. Still I didn’t want to be the cause of her misery and I found myself justifying my actions.
Even if I pressed charges on him, placing him in jail for the night, when he did get out he would be even madder making his reaction to her worse.
That only worked for so long because I knew that my decision had nothing to do with Victoria’s welfare. When Sam told me that James would be processed the anxiety that I had been holding at bay couldn’t be restrained. My stomach was churning from the implications of what would happen had James been arrested.
It was my own panic that kept James out of jail, leaving him free to do as pleased. At first I had told myself that it was for Jake so that he wouldn’t get into trouble for avenging me. That was true three years ago; statute of limitations would make it impossible for James to press charges any longer. I had to be honest at least with myself; the only thing holding me back is my own selfish fear.
The last thing I wanted to have happen is for all the nasty details of my private life to come out. There was no way I would be able to talk about the degradation that I experienced. I couldn’t go through the humiliation of having everyone know of the terrible things that I allowed James to do to me. I don’t like to think about what happened. Most of it was mortifying to discuss privately with my counselor and I could not imagine the horror of telling it an open court of law. All the people that would be there, my father, family members, James and perfect strangers, all passing judgment on my own culpability
I can’t do it…I just can’t do it
“Isabella why in god’s name did you ever go out with that asshole in the first place?”
I heard Edward’s question and as my brain registered the words I started hyperventilating. My mind was a jumbled mess of uncertainty creating a fog around me that I couldn’t seem to get out of.
He blamed me. It was all my fault.
Tears streamed down my face from the guilt.
Edward’s voice immediately came out firmly “Don’t answer that Isabella. Not now”
The rain was pelting the car windshield and I watched the wipers swish away the water not paying any attention to where we were going. He knew the way back to LaPush although with the panic I was feeling that was the last place I wanted to be. I needed to get myself together. Find my center so that I could face everyone without them thinking I was some kind of freak. The problem was I didn’t know how to accomplish that. All I could feel was my world crashing in on me, and I couldn’t pin point why.
Edward turned off the road pulling to a stop in front of the Motel office. “Wait here”
I watched him get out of the car going into the building then a few minutes later coming back out with a key in his hand. Edward didn’t say anything as he started the car then drove around the back of the building where the rooms are.
“W..what …” I wanted to ask what he was doing however between the erratic breathing and my tears I couldn’t get the words out.
“Quiet” The glare that accompanied the order would have been enough to silence me.
Pulling into the spot in front of unit six, he once again got out of the car this time popping the trunk. Hearing it slam shut, Edward was at my door holding it open with one hand out for me to take while the other held on to the handles of the black tote bag. My mind wasn’t clear enough and I still didn’t know what we were doing so I hesitated.
“Do not make me wait Isabella” his voice was low and menacing making me move quickly to unbuckle the seatbelt and step out into the rain.
Edward lead me to the unit, opening the door the unmistakable smell of motel room hit my nose. It often reminds me of dry-cleaning fresh from the bag, not at all unpleasant just distinctive. I had never been here before but the room was typical of any small town roadside motel. A simple bed with a green paisley spread and wall lamps mounted above it. Under the large wall mirror sat the long dresser with a TV on top of it. The extended top had a wooden chair pushed under the open area making a small desk space with a lamp on it. There was one other door that I assumed was the bathroom, other than that the room was sparse.
Edward shut the door, turned on the lights, closed the curtains, threw the tote on the bed and gave me a one word order. “Strip”
The word left me dumbfounded and my hesitation was not received well “Now!”
Shedding my clothes Edward went into the bathroom bringing out a towel that he put on the bed. With my clothes off he stood before me giving the hand signal to lower my eyes
“Hands behind your back Isabella, legs apart”
In this position I could feel myself begin to relax slightly but I was still couldn’t seem to completely give myself over. The zipper on the tote was almost ominous making me wonder what he was planning to do.
Edward moved behind me and a moment later the sound of soft relaxing music filled the room. When he sat back on the bed I could see from under my lashes that he was shirtless as he put one of the bed pillows over his lap laying the towel on top of it.
“Come here” Edward hooked two fingers inside me pulling me to him by my center.
“You are to be ready for me Isabella” The accusation telling me that I had failed in my task.
“Master I…”
“Who?” his dark eyes snapped to my face “I did not ask for an explanation and I do not want one”
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I bite harder on my lip while staring down at his socks.
“Now. Choose your words carefully and tell me what has deterred you from your task”
What has deterred me?
“Master your girl doesn’t understand the question” I thought maybe that would give me more time to come up with an answer. I was wrong.
“Perhaps my girl needs incentive”
With his fingers still inside me he pulled me closer, shifted himself while laying my stomach over the pillow so my head and most of my shoulders were on the bed.
“Wrap your arms around the pillow hugging it to your belly”
The nervous energy inside me was growing as I clutched the fullness of the cushion to my stomach. I think that Edward knew that because his voices soften as his hand ran through the length of my hair moving it off my face. “Close your eyes. Relax. Take steady breaths”
Willing my body to relax, I felt his hand move down my back to rub my bottom while he used his elbow to separate my thighs. Sliding his two fingers back inside me his thumb clamped down on my clit creating a vice grip on my girly parts that made me whimper.
“Now you’re ready for me Isabella.” He announced then asked “So what was the problem five minutes ago?”
He was expecting an answer, and I still didn’t have one “Your girl doesn’t know”
“Oh she knows.” with that his hand came down on my bottom.
It didn’t hurt in fact it felt really good especially with the grip he had on me and the pressure from his thumb against the sensitive nerves. Edward gently rubbed the spot he just struck then gave me another swat. He worked his hand around the flesh of my bottom with a growing intensity each time followed by a soft rub and every now and then a small pinch.
“What was the problem Isabella?”
He wasn’t going to let it go
The swats were coming faster and harder making my bottom burn as each one started to sting. The grip that Edward had inside me, held my hips still so I couldn’t even wiggle to alleviate any of the discomfort.
The next swat brought tears to my eyes as I cried out “She don’t know!”
“She knows…” he growled darkly “…tell me what you were feeling?” The firmness of his voice broke through the pain from the continuous swats.
“Lost…your girl felt…lost” the tears were coming nonstop
“What else?” He asked while his hand rained down in firm hard swats.
“owe…please…stop…please” I pleaded through my sobs but my begging fell on deaf ears as another swat landed hard against the flesh making it burn all the more.
“Tell me” he growled without stopping or letting up on the pressure he had on my vag.
My brain was searching for any words that might make enough sense so that he would stop because there was no break in between each strike of his hand. The only reprieve I could feel was that no two consecutive swats seemed to land in the same spot.
“afraid …” I cried out “…afraid people will know” then the words just seemed to come as Edward continued to make my bottom burn
“selfish…guilty…ashamed…confused” With each word a solid slap landed on my tender flesh.
“Confused about what?”
“couldn’t… get balanced…no control” I was crying so much that my sentence came out in a garbled mess.
“Who is in control Isabella?” Each word radiated into my brain and it snapped in my mind.
“Master is in control” I called out letting the freedom of the words ring true as I sobbed into the bed.
While we were in the car Edward said he was proud of me and that I should be proud of what I can do not agonize over what I’m not ready to do. I can’t control the way other people act or the way they think and I’m not answerable for them or their actions. The only person I have to be accountable to is my Master.
“That’s right little one” the force of the swats diminished to the point where I could breathe at a steady pace.
“That’s it my pet, relax your body and just feel…let it go…let it all go…find your center and go there”
The strikes Edward was placing on my bottom seemed to settle into a rhythm that was mimicking the music being played. The softness of his voice was as soothing as the feeling of each strike. With every exhale a soft moan left my mouth as I felt myself drifting into that place of peaceful bliss. Time, place, sound and reason were all gone, in its place was the greatest high I could ever imagine and that’s where Edward was taking me. Floating on a sea of air where I can ride through waves of glorious pleasure. I wanted to stay there in blissful suspended animation for as long as possible and just be.
The radiating warmth that had been surging through my body started to slip away. The swats that had been scintillating where starting to hurt again and my body responded by tensing and whimpering.
“Shhhhh…relax my pet” Edward’s words combined with the feel of his hand stroking my back soothed me “Shhhh…come out as gentle as you went in”
I heard his words and I could tell that the swats he was placing on me were not nearly as strong as they had been but they still hurt and I couldn’t stop the deep moan.
“Shhhh…almost done…open your eyes for me”
I tried however it felt like my eyes were glued shut, the only amnesty I could be glad for was that Edward was no longer striking me instead his hands were rubbing and kneading my sore bottom making me hiss.
“Tender?”
That was a stupid question
“Yesss…Sir” my eyes finally fluttered open to see Edward looking down at me smiling while running his fingers through my hair “Welcome back my pet”
“Thank you Master” as I said the words my arms went to push up off his thighs.
“No. You stay still for another minute” he stroked down the length of my spine letting me relax.
As my body came down from the high it had been on I started to shiver from the coolness of the air. Edward notice and had me sit up slowly so that my chest was in constant contact with his. He laid me on my belly then covered my back and shoulders with the comforter.
“You’ll warm up in a minute; it’s only the perspiration drying on your body” He moved to get off the bed and I stopped him “Where are you going?”
“To the bathroom” he kissed my forehead before tucking the comforter in under my body to keep me warm.
I could hear the water running in the sink for a few seconds then he was back holding a small white towel. Sitting down next to me he laid the cool wet cloth over my butt making me suck air in through my teeth from the discomfort. While my buns were cooling Edward reached into the tote on the corner of the bed taking out a bottle of water and lotion. Twisting off the top he handed me the water before removing the towel and putting the Lanolin on me.
While he was working I watched him in the mirror admiring the way the muscles in his back and shoulders moved. The feeling of his strong hands touching me so tenderly was amazing and I closed my eyes enjoying his touch while listening to the music coming from the portable
I-Home.
“What is this song?” It was slow with a steady beat while the words were sung in a sultry tone.
Edward replaced the cool towel on my bottom then moved up on the bed taking the bottle of water from me. “Umm…” I watched him take a drink then giggled as I realized he was stalling. He chuckled along handing me back the bottle “give me a second there’s a lot of music on there”
When the refrain came on she was singing
And if I shed a tear I won’t cage it
I won’t fear love
And if I feel a rage I won’t deny it
I won’t fear love
“This is Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” he announced confidently.
I had no idea how those lyrics gave him that title however the voice sounded familiar “She kind of sounds like Sarah McLachlan”
Chuckling Edward took the bottle back placing it on the floor, leaned sideways onto the pillow pulling me into his arms “Maybe that’s because it is McLachlan”
“Oh” as I listened it was clear who it was. Laying there in Edward’s arms my body melted into his and I signed in contentment. “Mhhh…can we stay here all night?”
“Isn’t there some kind of fire burning revelry we are expected to attend?”
“Yeah…” I had an overwhelming need to be as close to him as I could get. Snuggling closer, Edward’s arms seemed to tighten around me. “What time is it? I think we are going to be fashionably late”
“I’m guessing it’s around seven. My watch is over on the dresser and I’m too comfortable to get up right now”
“uh oh …that means were going to be really late.”
Edward moved his head back without releasing the hold he had on me “Do you want to leave? My purpose for coming here wasn’t to keep you from your family and friends.”
“Can we have twenty minutes?”
“We can have as long as you need” Edward relaxed again letting the room go silent except for the music which was now playing Lullaby by The Cure.
“I always thought that this would be a great song to have sex to” I don’t know why that came out of my mouth but Edward laughed “That’s why it’s on the ‘fucking Bella’ play list”
Shifting to lean on my elbow I stared at him in shock “You have a play list entitled fucking Bella?”
“Of course…” he said with a grin “…although right now it’s doubling on the ‘Spanking Bella’ list”
“How many Bella lists do you have?” my curiosity was peaked.
Edward shrugged “How many different things can I do to you?”
My eyes rose in disbelief “Your girl is going to have to steal your I-pod to see what else you have on there.”
Edward laughed tucking e back into his side. “You don’t have to steal it; I’ll give it to you willingly”
It was then that I felt little eddie pushing up against my lower belly. Wiggling my hips I pressed against the bulge bringing out a grunt making me wonder “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
“It will go away”
Go away?
“Wouldn’t you rather use it?” my voice was hopeful
“Not now Isabella.”
I could feel the hurt from what I thought was rejection wash over me. Before it went too far Edward continued “You need to relax and it was not my intention to bring you here for sex”
That was the second time he had said that it wasn’t his intention, which made me wonder what exactly was his purpose. What was the reason for getting a room and spanking me? Was it a punishment? The thought crossed my mind yet was quickly removed when I remembered that Edward said he would never reprimand me with corporal punishment.
Still…I had to know. Swallowing hard I asked the question that could break the trust I had in him. “Master did you…was your girl…” I didn’t even know how to say it.
“What Isabella?”
“Master was it your intention to bring your girl here to punish her?”
Edward moved quickly making me to lay flat on my back. The sudden movement caused me wince as my butt came in full contact with the mattress while he hovered over me. Taking my chin in his hand our gazes locked and he stared intently into my eyes.
“You have been punished before Isabella, you know how it works. There is a discussion so that you are aware of what you are being reprimand for, you are allowed a time to explain yourself and then the punishment itself is made clear. None of that happened here today. There was no punishment, because you did nothing wrong”
The intensity of his stare was starting to unnerve me and I tried to look away but the hold he had on my chin tightened, silently calling my attention back to him.
“What happened here is what I call maintenance”
Maintenance?
He must have seen my confusion as he wasted no time in explaining.
“Just as you have a car that needs an oil change, tires rotated and a tune up every now and then…”
I cut him off with my own understanding “You have to give your submissive a tune up?”
“Yes” he smiled “There will be times when my submissive as wonderful and obedient as she is will need maintenance to keep her grounded. There are many ways to go about doing that. Today I chose the quickest most direct form, to get to the bottom of your anxiety so that you a could get yourself…balanced once again”
I thought about that, realizing that is exactly what he did. My mind was a jumbled mess of emotions that felt like every synapse was firing off in a different direction. I was on the verge of panic, unable to gain control of myself as I fought through all the implications that kept charging through my mind. Edward recognized that, took command of the situation and did what was needed to set me back on the path I had chosen.
“That was achieved by sending your girl into subspace?” That’s where I was. The first time it happened I was afraid, this time it was so easy to slip into the alternate universe.
Edward smiled at me “That was an added bonus”
“Will you have to do maintenance often?” I didn’t know if there was a scheduled once a month submissive overhaul, the same way there was the three-thousand mile oil change. Instead of Jiffy-Lubed I would be Speedy-Spanked. That thought made me giggle.
“Are you going to share the joke?” Edward’s grin widened as I told him my Speedy-Spanked theory.
“I told you there are other ways and when time or circumstances allots for it I will choose one of those. However I can’t tell you how often that will happen. Isabella you gave me your submission, trusting me to always do the right thing. All I can tell you is that when it comes to your welfare I will do whatever is necessary. Your only job is to trust and obey, which you did magnificently”
I smiled at the word magnificently “Master your girl trust you and she loves you”
“That’s good to know that she trust me and better to hear that she loves me. Because I love her, very much” His hand was still on my chin as he kissed me softly.
“Now how about we take a bath?”
I agreed but voiced my concern about putting on my clothes. I hated to do that, always feeling so grimy with clean skin and dirty clothes. Edward came to my recue by bringing in a pair of his sweat pants and t-shirt that he had in his workout bag. He always carries a clean set of clothes for himself in the black tote.
He’s like my own private boy scout- always prepared.
The bath felt really good after my initial yelp from sitting my hot bottom into the water. Edward helped me out as much as he could by holding onto my cheeks until they got accustomed to the temperature, but it still hurt like hell. Leaning back against his chest I wondered how in the world I was going to be able to sit in the car for a six hour drive the next day. That thought brought to mind the question he had asked when we left Casey’s.
“Master it was a Monday night and your girl was working at the store…”
EPOV
Sitting in the warm water with Bella’s body between my legs and her back against my chest, my hands moved in small soothing circles over her stomach while I listened to the story.
Bella was working her part-time job at the grocery store, when she came out at ten o’clock to leave the old truck she drove wouldn’t start. She was going to go back inside to call Charlie when James knocked on her window asking if she needed any help. He lifted the hood, fiddled around with something, told her to turn the key and the truck started.
While she told me this I remained quiet wondering if he was the reason her truck was disabled in the first place. It would easy to remove a cable or a wire that would temporally immobilize the vehicle, and then effortlessly repair it.
Bella continued telling me that after James had gotten the truck started he followed her home under the pretence of seeing that she was safe. Not wanting her to be alone and break down along the way in the dark.
That would have played right into Bella’s submissive nature, her need to feel safe and protected. It also played along with the fact that she felt awkward and isolated so having someone care about her would have made an impression. If he did purposely disable the truck then he played his trump card well.
She continued to tell me that the next morning when she left for school, James was waiting for her. He said that he worried that perhaps the engine wouldn’t start again and she would need a ride. Bella told him that it was unnecessary and to his credit he backed off.
A few days later while she was at her locker he asked her out on a date. Bella said that she was reluctant because James was supposedly dating someone else. He assured her that they had broken up so after a few more attempts at a date Bella finally said yes. The relationship started out slowly with a few dates to movies, dinner and bowling. Gradually building up through natural progression to what she called an exclusive relationship.
Bella assured me that up until that night when he beat her with the belt he had never hit her before. There were times when James would grab her arm, squeeze her wrist and a few times he had shoved her into a locker or the wall. She would always discount the incidences as him needing to let off steam or reacting to something she had done. James also began to tell her where she could go and who she should be with. Belittling or yelling at her when she would go against his will. That was the stubborn streak in her coming through or maybe it was the fact that she loved her friends more then she loved him. Either way Bella said he could yell and scream all he wanted she wasn’t giving up her friends.
“Baby didn’t you recognize the signs?”
She shook her head “No. At the time, this girl didn’t know that there were signs. She didn’t know to back away. She thought that James just had a bad temper, never would have considered that he could be so full of hatred and violence. She truly had no clue and no one to talk to about it.”
Her reasons sounded plausible to me. In Seattle the school districts teach about domestic violence as part of the curriculum for heath class. The beginnings signs of abuse are clearly laid out; the possessiveness, the controlling, and the constant ridicule are all bright red flashing signs telling the girl to beware. Add into that any form of physical restraint or manhandling and the warning of it escalating to dangerous proportions couldn’t be any clearer. Young people are taught these facts along with given the phone numbers of places to contact if needed.
Forks High School had no such curriculum, which I think is preposterous. Small rural towns are no more immune to the realities of society then a large city. If anything they should be diligent in their education of personal awareness simply because they lack the resources that can be found in the city. Clinics, shelters, and women’s centers are all absent giving those with a problem no place to go. Their only option is to seek out someone who they cannot be sure is going to keep their confidence, or have the training needed to help them.
The water was starting to get cold and I knew it had to be close to eight o’clock, making us an hour late. We were going to have to leave soon or they might send out a search team to find us, but first I needed to know something.
“Isabella why didn’t you ever go out with someone else?” It seemed to me that if she had then maybe James wouldn’t have been so predominate in her life.
Bella’s head turned towards mine nuzzling into my neck “No one ever asked”
“Never?” she shook her head and I found that so hard to believe.
Jesus Christ are all the males here blind?
I’ve seen her high school picture she was fucking gorgeous. I don’t care how isolated she was, short of sitting in class picking her nose and farting I would have been all over her shit.
My arms tighten around her middle kissing the top of her head. Bella sighed not in that irritating way that annoys me but in a resigned way. I was going to get out of the water when she spoke “Your girl’s father is the chief of police. So that means that his children are either unruly because they think they can get away with it, or so goody-two-shoes that they would squeal. Besides the last thing a boy wants to do is upset the chief of police by dating his daughter and risk making an enemy because things didn’t work out.”
In there lies yet another reason why Bella was ostracized. That wasn’t anyone’s fault and I could understand the reluctance of teenagers to take a chance on pissing off a man that could make their life a living hell. That fear didn’t seem to bother James though, maybe after he got to know her, he realized that she was closed mouth about things. I also saw that James was a rather clever person who quickly figured out that there was no inter-personal communication between Bella and her father, leaving him safe to fulfill his plans.
Once we were out of the tub I put some more Lanolin on Bella’s bottom. It was still rather pink with an all around even color that shouldn’t bruise. That is the tricky part; the skin needs to be warmed up before the actual spanking begins. Then it is a matter of keeping the color spread evenly by paying attention to where each strike lands. I was sure there was no damage done but I was also sure that Bella would be feeling the tingle and the heat from the spanking for at least another day. That means that I would have to make sure to keep applying the ointment and checking on how she heals.
Bella looked rather sexy in my clothes; the grey sweat pants were way to long so she rolled the waist down to get a better fit. The white t-shirt was also big, going down to her thighs but that was a good thing because she refused to put back on her bra. The extra room shielded the shape of her breast although the light color didn’t hide anything else. Not that I minded her nipples poking out through the cotton. However I wasn’t sure who we would run into before she could dress properly and I didn’t want them to have a free show.
I’m not above her exhibitionism; I find it as erotic as she does as long as it’s done in the right atmosphere where the rules of conduct are clear. The last thing that I wanted to have happen was Jared to catch her dressed like that. Something told me that he didn’t care one bit if Bella was HO-quaht, that man wanted my woman.
My woman who was standing there wearing my clothes, fixing her hair in the mirror with my hairbrush, in a fashion that shows off my collar and wiggling her butt that is pink from my attentions. She’s mine and that motherfucker was going to know it.
Bella insisted on fixing the bed while I packed up the tote. She eyed me with a coy smile as I wiped off the black leather paddle with disinfectant. “Did you use that?”
“Yes” I told her throwing the wipe into the garbage and putting the paddle away.
Zipping the tote up I realized that Bella was still watching me with a strange expression that was somewhere between surprise and satisfaction.
“You disapprove?”
She had listed paddling as a high number on her new limits. That’s why I chose that implement as a way of saving my hand. Because let’s face it, after a while the contact begins to sting, which reduces impact. In order to prolong the session something has to used to achieve the desired effect that both of us are looking for.
“No Master, this one completely approves. She just didn’t realize that you had stopped using your hand”
That’s good, if I do my job right there shouldn’t be any detection on her part, the intensity of the sensations should flow from one toy to another. The expression on her face told me she had something else on her mind.
“Ask me”
“Your girl was wondering when you made the switch. Was it before she started begging you to stop?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact most of the session was with the paddle”
A look of pure satisfaction came over her face that made my heart soar with pride at her own fulfillment. Pulling Bella close to me I kissed her passionately while my hand moved under the hem of the shirt she was wearing and dipping into the pants to feel the warm wetness I was looking for.
My purpose wasn’t to bring her any sexual satisfaction; it was solely to reiterate my expectations of her continuing with the task I had given. However the moan that resonated in my mouth along with the firmness of the clit under my fingers told me my girl was not only prepared for me she was very needy. And she was going to stay that way, for at least a little while longer.
Pulling back from her mouth and her sex, Bella let out a whimper that was not making my hard-on any easier to ignore. The lust in her eyes was staggering and I had to search my brain to come up with the words I wanted to say.
“Now that your body is prepared for me, see that it remains that way”
“Yes Sir” Her voice was weak and I half expected her to beg for an orgasm. Instead Bella lowered her eyes took in a deep breath and gave herself over to her submission.
“Good girl” I told her with pride taking one last look around the room before we left.
The heavy rain had slowed to a steady drizzle that had not stopped since we been here. After getting Bella into the car and the tote bag back into the trunk I put the room key into the drop off box outside of the office. Getting back into the car I could tell that Bella was uncomfortable. Her body language was screaming arousal.
I had just made the turn onto the 101 when Bella’s breathing started to deepen. I half expected as much, due to how tender her bottom was from the spanking. That alone would be enough to fuel her desire. Glancing over I could see that her nipples were diamond hard. Bella had her thighs pressed tightly together as she wiggled her hips making it very clear what she was doing.
“Isabella you are being naughty”
Looking back at the road I couldn’t tell if the quick gasp was surprise from the word naughty or at being caught. I figured it would be better if I took care of both.
“Would you care to tell me why you are stimulating my pussy without permission?” Shifting my eyes I could see Bella lower her head but she said nothing. That was a good thing since I wasn’t done and she was already in trouble.
“You are sitting there clinching your thighs together and wiggling against the seam like a bitch in heat amounts to the same thing as masturbating. I know you are aroused and perhaps had you asked I might have allowed you release. As it is now there is not a chance in hell of that happening. So spread your knees wide apart, sit back and stay still.”
There was no need for her to answer me, glancing over I could see the blush on her face and I was sure that the pang of humiliation she was feeling only added to her need. That was ok, because I was dealing with my own throbbing dick. Had we the time I would have pulled over somewhere to take care of both of us, as it was Bella’s phone started playing ‘Love Shack’.
I knew it was Leah calling, looking at the clock I realized that we were over an hour late and was surprised that she hadn’t called before. Then again Bella’s phone was in her purse, which she had left in the car when we were at the motel.
Bella looked over at me unsure what to do. She didn’t need my permission to answer yet I gave it to her anyway “Talk to your sister”
Bella fished her phone out of her purse, flipping it open to put an end to that stupid song. I was going to have to ask about the significance of the ring tone later.
“Hi”
oh god
I practically groan from the twinge that shot through my dick. Bella’s voice was so breathy it sounded like she was on the verge of an orgasm.
“…we’re on our way…in about ten minutes…no I’m fine…I’m fine Leah”
She didn’t sound fine to me, Bella had that tone in her voice that lets me know she needs to be fucked. That thought made me chuckle as I listened to the rest of the one sided conversation.
“...we just hit the rez now…alright bye”
Tucking the phone back into her purse Bella grinned “It was raining so hard that they didn’t get started on time, but now everyone is there and Leah was just wondering if we had left the motel yet because they are waiting for us”
I shot her a look of shock then chuckled “News travels fast”
She giggled along with me nodding “Welcome to small town USA.”
Pulling up in front of the house she was right they were all waiting for us. Looking over at her state of dress her breasts were very visibly excited. Reaching in the back seat I grabbed my sweatshirt. It was still damp but she wouldn’t have to wear it long. Handing it to Bella she gave me a curious look. Not saying anything I ran the back of my hand over her nipples.
“Oh…” she blushed “That bad?”
“I like it.” I grinned “I just prefer that they don’t get to like it.” my head inclined to the five males standing on the porch.
By the time I had her door open Bella had pulled the hoodie over her head and was tugging it down over her thighs as she got out. She was swimming in my clothing and still looked sexy as hell. Jacob came down off the porch wrapping Bella in a hug.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine” and she was.
Jacob gave her the once over glancing at me before looking back at Bella. “I couldn’t get to you, Sam told Emery and Paul not to let me out of the chair. They wouldn’t let me up.”
“I was fine Jake, I knew you were there…” her comment stung a little that someone else could bring her comfort until she added “…and I could feel Edward right behind me. I knew that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me and the last thing you need is to get in trouble. So it was better that way.”
He nodded then smirked “What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?”
Bella blushed “I don’t know it happen so fast…” she held her palm up “…and it hurt my hand”
“Is it ok?”
Jacob inspected her hand the same way I had done earlier, even placing a kiss in the center of her palm before pulling her back into a hug and calling her a name I didn’t understand. Had the exchange occurred with anyone other than Jacob the jealousy I was feeling would have been unbearable. As it was I quashed them with the knowledge that their relationship was that of siblings and I would have treated Alice the same way.
“Bella are you going dressed like that?” Leah called from porch.
Bella turned to look at her “No I don’t even have under ware on”
“Well hurry up, I’m starving”
Bella rolled her eyes at me “I’ll get you a clean sweat shirt?”
I nodded “That would be great”
We followed Bella onto the porch she walked to Leah who was appraising Bella’s appearance. Shaking her head they both went inside while Jacob handed me a beer, I could hear Charlie through the screen door asking Bella where she had been. Apparently the word of our motel room tryst hadn’t reached his ears yet.
“Yeah where the hell were you two?” I guess Seth hadn’t been informed either.
“Ah…it was a trying afternoon and we needed alone time to talk” I took a swig from the bottle while Paul laughed.
“Is that what you call it? I guess you could talk during…”
Jared cut him off before the real crudeness started “Is Bella alright? Did he hurt her?”
It was genuine concern and I couldn’t fault the guy for that “No he didn’t hurt her and she’s fine…now” I added the now to let him know that it was I who had made my woman better.
Quil spoke up “I don’t know how in the hell you didn’t rip his arm off”
I shrugged listening to Bella in the house calling Seth’s name “I was afraid if I did anything he would have hurt her. I was bidding my time waiting for the right moment to step in…”
The calling became louder and Seth yelled towards the door that he was outside. Bella opened the screen door coming out on the porch with my sweat shirt in her hand and not one covering the white t-shirt she was wearing. I tried to express my disapproval with her attire or rather lack of, with my eyes but Bella wasn’t looking at me as she handed me the hoodie.
“Not you” she informed Seth while her eyes went to Jacob “Where is my dog? They said to ask you”
Jacob’s expression turned almost guilty as he stumble over his words “ahh…yeah about…that” while he was trying to pacify her Paul ever the one to make a comment had to say something “Nice beamers Bells”
That’s why I gave her the damn sweatshirt in the first damn place
She didn’t seem to care as her whole face turned red. Only this wasn’t from blushing Bella was angry. Grabbing the back of the shirt it pulled tight against her skin while she yelled “Beamers? There are your fucking beamers! Now where is my dog?”
Charlie’s voice from inside the door warned her about cursing while she stared down Jacob and I thanked god that she released the slack on the back of the her shirt.
“Bells calm down. He’s alright; in fact he’s probably going to have the night of his life”
“Jacob William Black Where Is My Dog” Each word came out through angry clenched lips.
He didn’t answer her as it looked like he was still searching for the words to say. However Seth didn’t seem to have any problem telling her. “His services were needed”
“What does that mean?” turning her frustration to Seth
“He’s on a booty call”
BPOV
I hit him?
I slapped James?
I was so repulsed by his touch that any fear I had turned to anger making me respond without a second thought. Once my hand made contact with his face the sound of the smack registered in my brain and nine years of pent up rage came out in one sentence.
“Don’t you ever touch me!”
Once the words were out of my mouth it felt like every ounce of energy I had went along with them. My legs felt weak, my stomach was queasy, and I had to literally force myself to breathe as I stood there staring into those icy blue eyes. In the back of my mind I knew that there were people with me. I could feel Edward’s presence and Sam was right there with him yet for those few tense moments it was just the two of us.
I wanted to talk with more conviction when I told Casey to call Officer Mark but instead it came out in a weak shaky tone that only made me seem more pathetic. The anger rolled across his face as I stared into his eyes, I could see the hatred and that made me even more determined to stand up for myself. To just once not back down, resolving in my mind that I wasn’t going to let him win. He could try to intimidate me all he wanted; it wasn’t going to work, not this time.
Once James left all I wanted to do was leave. Leah wanted me to stay, to celebrate.
Celebrate what?
Leah acted like I had just won the lottery when all I did was piss James off he was going to go home and take out his anger with me on Victoria. Sitting in the car I was wracked with quilt over that. Leah said ‘Fuck Victoria Kohn. It’s her problem if she stays’ How could she say that? Where is her compassion and understanding? Doesn’t she know how hard it is to leave, how dangerous it is for the woman?
Victoria is not exactly my favorite person she had been with James since high school. Even during the time when James and I were dating, he was seeing her too. I didn’t know that at the time, there had been whispers that he fervently denied. However once we were married it was very clear that they had never separated. Still I didn’t want to be the cause of her misery and I found myself justifying my actions.
Even if I pressed charges on him, placing him in jail for the night, when he did get out he would be even madder making his reaction to her worse.
That only worked for so long because I knew that my decision had nothing to do with Victoria’s welfare. When Sam told me that James would be processed the anxiety that I had been holding at bay couldn’t be restrained. My stomach was churning from the implications of what would happen had James been arrested.
It was my own panic that kept James out of jail, leaving him free to do as pleased. At first I had told myself that it was for Jake so that he wouldn’t get into trouble for avenging me. That was true three years ago; statute of limitations would make it impossible for James to press charges any longer. I had to be honest at least with myself; the only thing holding me back is my own selfish fear.
The last thing I wanted to have happen is for all the nasty details of my private life to come out. There was no way I would be able to talk about the degradation that I experienced. I couldn’t go through the humiliation of having everyone know of the terrible things that I allowed James to do to me. I don’t like to think about what happened. Most of it was mortifying to discuss privately with my counselor and I could not imagine the horror of telling it an open court of law. All the people that would be there, my father, family members, James and perfect strangers, all passing judgment on my own culpability
I can’t do it…I just can’t do it
“Isabella why in god’s name did you ever go out with that asshole in the first place?”
I heard Edward’s question and as my brain registered the words I started hyperventilating. My mind was a jumbled mess of uncertainty creating a fog around me that I couldn’t seem to get out of.
He blamed me. It was all my fault.
Tears streamed down my face from the guilt.
Edward’s voice immediately came out firmly “Don’t answer that Isabella. Not now”
The rain was pelting the car windshield and I watched the wipers swish away the water not paying any attention to where we were going. He knew the way back to LaPush although with the panic I was feeling that was the last place I wanted to be. I needed to get myself together. Find my center so that I could face everyone without them thinking I was some kind of freak. The problem was I didn’t know how to accomplish that. All I could feel was my world crashing in on me, and I couldn’t pin point why.
Edward turned off the road pulling to a stop in front of the Motel office. “Wait here”
I watched him get out of the car going into the building then a few minutes later coming back out with a key in his hand. Edward didn’t say anything as he started the car then drove around the back of the building where the rooms are.
“W..what …” I wanted to ask what he was doing however between the erratic breathing and my tears I couldn’t get the words out.
“Quiet” The glare that accompanied the order would have been enough to silence me.
Pulling into the spot in front of unit six, he once again got out of the car this time popping the trunk. Hearing it slam shut, Edward was at my door holding it open with one hand out for me to take while the other held on to the handles of the black tote bag. My mind wasn’t clear enough and I still didn’t know what we were doing so I hesitated.
“Do not make me wait Isabella” his voice was low and menacing making me move quickly to unbuckle the seatbelt and step out into the rain.
Edward lead me to the unit, opening the door the unmistakable smell of motel room hit my nose. It often reminds me of dry-cleaning fresh from the bag, not at all unpleasant just distinctive. I had never been here before but the room was typical of any small town roadside motel. A simple bed with a green paisley spread and wall lamps mounted above it. Under the large wall mirror sat the long dresser with a TV on top of it. The extended top had a wooden chair pushed under the open area making a small desk space with a lamp on it. There was one other door that I assumed was the bathroom, other than that the room was sparse.
Edward shut the door, turned on the lights, closed the curtains, threw the tote on the bed and gave me a one word order. “Strip”
The word left me dumbfounded and my hesitation was not received well “Now!”
Shedding my clothes Edward went into the bathroom bringing out a towel that he put on the bed. With my clothes off he stood before me giving the hand signal to lower my eyes
“Hands behind your back Isabella, legs apart”
In this position I could feel myself begin to relax slightly but I was still couldn’t seem to completely give myself over. The zipper on the tote was almost ominous making me wonder what he was planning to do.
Edward moved behind me and a moment later the sound of soft relaxing music filled the room. When he sat back on the bed I could see from under my lashes that he was shirtless as he put one of the bed pillows over his lap laying the towel on top of it.
“Come here” Edward hooked two fingers inside me pulling me to him by my center.
“You are to be ready for me Isabella” The accusation telling me that I had failed in my task.
“Master I…”
“Who?” his dark eyes snapped to my face “I did not ask for an explanation and I do not want one”
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I bite harder on my lip while staring down at his socks.
“Now. Choose your words carefully and tell me what has deterred you from your task”
What has deterred me?
“Master your girl doesn’t understand the question” I thought maybe that would give me more time to come up with an answer. I was wrong.
“Perhaps my girl needs incentive”
With his fingers still inside me he pulled me closer, shifted himself while laying my stomach over the pillow so my head and most of my shoulders were on the bed.
“Wrap your arms around the pillow hugging it to your belly”
The nervous energy inside me was growing as I clutched the fullness of the cushion to my stomach. I think that Edward knew that because his voices soften as his hand ran through the length of my hair moving it off my face. “Close your eyes. Relax. Take steady breaths”
Willing my body to relax, I felt his hand move down my back to rub my bottom while he used his elbow to separate my thighs. Sliding his two fingers back inside me his thumb clamped down on my clit creating a vice grip on my girly parts that made me whimper.
“Now you’re ready for me Isabella.” He announced then asked “So what was the problem five minutes ago?”
He was expecting an answer, and I still didn’t have one “Your girl doesn’t know”
“Oh she knows.” with that his hand came down on my bottom.
It didn’t hurt in fact it felt really good especially with the grip he had on me and the pressure from his thumb against the sensitive nerves. Edward gently rubbed the spot he just struck then gave me another swat. He worked his hand around the flesh of my bottom with a growing intensity each time followed by a soft rub and every now and then a small pinch.
“What was the problem Isabella?”
He wasn’t going to let it go
The swats were coming faster and harder making my bottom burn as each one started to sting. The grip that Edward had inside me, held my hips still so I couldn’t even wiggle to alleviate any of the discomfort.
The next swat brought tears to my eyes as I cried out “She don’t know!”
“She knows…” he growled darkly “…tell me what you were feeling?” The firmness of his voice broke through the pain from the continuous swats.
“Lost…your girl felt…lost” the tears were coming nonstop
“What else?” He asked while his hand rained down in firm hard swats.
“owe…please…stop…please” I pleaded through my sobs but my begging fell on deaf ears as another swat landed hard against the flesh making it burn all the more.
“Tell me” he growled without stopping or letting up on the pressure he had on my vag.
My brain was searching for any words that might make enough sense so that he would stop because there was no break in between each strike of his hand. The only reprieve I could feel was that no two consecutive swats seemed to land in the same spot.
“afraid …” I cried out “…afraid people will know” then the words just seemed to come as Edward continued to make my bottom burn
“selfish…guilty…ashamed…confused” With each word a solid slap landed on my tender flesh.
“Confused about what?”
“couldn’t… get balanced…no control” I was crying so much that my sentence came out in a garbled mess.
“Who is in control Isabella?” Each word radiated into my brain and it snapped in my mind.
“Master is in control” I called out letting the freedom of the words ring true as I sobbed into the bed.
While we were in the car Edward said he was proud of me and that I should be proud of what I can do not agonize over what I’m not ready to do. I can’t control the way other people act or the way they think and I’m not answerable for them or their actions. The only person I have to be accountable to is my Master.
“That’s right little one” the force of the swats diminished to the point where I could breathe at a steady pace.
“That’s it my pet, relax your body and just feel…let it go…let it all go…find your center and go there”
The strikes Edward was placing on my bottom seemed to settle into a rhythm that was mimicking the music being played. The softness of his voice was as soothing as the feeling of each strike. With every exhale a soft moan left my mouth as I felt myself drifting into that place of peaceful bliss. Time, place, sound and reason were all gone, in its place was the greatest high I could ever imagine and that’s where Edward was taking me. Floating on a sea of air where I can ride through waves of glorious pleasure. I wanted to stay there in blissful suspended animation for as long as possible and just be.
The radiating warmth that had been surging through my body started to slip away. The swats that had been scintillating where starting to hurt again and my body responded by tensing and whimpering.
“Shhhhh…relax my pet” Edward’s words combined with the feel of his hand stroking my back soothed me “Shhhh…come out as gentle as you went in”
I heard his words and I could tell that the swats he was placing on me were not nearly as strong as they had been but they still hurt and I couldn’t stop the deep moan.
“Shhhh…almost done…open your eyes for me”
I tried however it felt like my eyes were glued shut, the only amnesty I could be glad for was that Edward was no longer striking me instead his hands were rubbing and kneading my sore bottom making me hiss.
“Tender?”
That was a stupid question
“Yesss…Sir” my eyes finally fluttered open to see Edward looking down at me smiling while running his fingers through my hair “Welcome back my pet”
“Thank you Master” as I said the words my arms went to push up off his thighs.
“No. You stay still for another minute” he stroked down the length of my spine letting me relax.
As my body came down from the high it had been on I started to shiver from the coolness of the air. Edward notice and had me sit up slowly so that my chest was in constant contact with his. He laid me on my belly then covered my back and shoulders with the comforter.
“You’ll warm up in a minute; it’s only the perspiration drying on your body” He moved to get off the bed and I stopped him “Where are you going?”
“To the bathroom” he kissed my forehead before tucking the comforter in under my body to keep me warm.
I could hear the water running in the sink for a few seconds then he was back holding a small white towel. Sitting down next to me he laid the cool wet cloth over my butt making me suck air in through my teeth from the discomfort. While my buns were cooling Edward reached into the tote on the corner of the bed taking out a bottle of water and lotion. Twisting off the top he handed me the water before removing the towel and putting the Lanolin on me.
While he was working I watched him in the mirror admiring the way the muscles in his back and shoulders moved. The feeling of his strong hands touching me so tenderly was amazing and I closed my eyes enjoying his touch while listening to the music coming from the portable
I-Home.
“What is this song?” It was slow with a steady beat while the words were sung in a sultry tone.
Edward replaced the cool towel on my bottom then moved up on the bed taking the bottle of water from me. “Umm…” I watched him take a drink then giggled as I realized he was stalling. He chuckled along handing me back the bottle “give me a second there’s a lot of music on there”
When the refrain came on she was singing
And if I shed a tear I won’t cage it
I won’t fear love
And if I feel a rage I won’t deny it
I won’t fear love
“This is Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” he announced confidently.
I had no idea how those lyrics gave him that title however the voice sounded familiar “She kind of sounds like Sarah McLachlan”
Chuckling Edward took the bottle back placing it on the floor, leaned sideways onto the pillow pulling me into his arms “Maybe that’s because it is McLachlan”
“Oh” as I listened it was clear who it was. Laying there in Edward’s arms my body melted into his and I signed in contentment. “Mhhh…can we stay here all night?”
“Isn’t there some kind of fire burning revelry we are expected to attend?”
“Yeah…” I had an overwhelming need to be as close to him as I could get. Snuggling closer, Edward’s arms seemed to tighten around me. “What time is it? I think we are going to be fashionably late”
“I’m guessing it’s around seven. My watch is over on the dresser and I’m too comfortable to get up right now”
“uh oh …that means were going to be really late.”
Edward moved his head back without releasing the hold he had on me “Do you want to leave? My purpose for coming here wasn’t to keep you from your family and friends.”
“Can we have twenty minutes?”
“We can have as long as you need” Edward relaxed again letting the room go silent except for the music which was now playing Lullaby by The Cure.
“I always thought that this would be a great song to have sex to” I don’t know why that came out of my mouth but Edward laughed “That’s why it’s on the ‘fucking Bella’ play list”
Shifting to lean on my elbow I stared at him in shock “You have a play list entitled fucking Bella?”
“Of course…” he said with a grin “…although right now it’s doubling on the ‘Spanking Bella’ list”
“How many Bella lists do you have?” my curiosity was peaked.
Edward shrugged “How many different things can I do to you?”
My eyes rose in disbelief “Your girl is going to have to steal your I-pod to see what else you have on there.”
Edward laughed tucking e back into his side. “You don’t have to steal it; I’ll give it to you willingly”
It was then that I felt little eddie pushing up against my lower belly. Wiggling my hips I pressed against the bulge bringing out a grunt making me wonder “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
“It will go away”
Go away?
“Wouldn’t you rather use it?” my voice was hopeful
“Not now Isabella.”
I could feel the hurt from what I thought was rejection wash over me. Before it went too far Edward continued “You need to relax and it was not my intention to bring you here for sex”
That was the second time he had said that it wasn’t his intention, which made me wonder what exactly was his purpose. What was the reason for getting a room and spanking me? Was it a punishment? The thought crossed my mind yet was quickly removed when I remembered that Edward said he would never reprimand me with corporal punishment.
Still…I had to know. Swallowing hard I asked the question that could break the trust I had in him. “Master did you…was your girl…” I didn’t even know how to say it.
“What Isabella?”
“Master was it your intention to bring your girl here to punish her?”
Edward moved quickly making me to lay flat on my back. The sudden movement caused me wince as my butt came in full contact with the mattress while he hovered over me. Taking my chin in his hand our gazes locked and he stared intently into my eyes.
“You have been punished before Isabella, you know how it works. There is a discussion so that you are aware of what you are being reprimand for, you are allowed a time to explain yourself and then the punishment itself is made clear. None of that happened here today. There was no punishment, because you did nothing wrong”
The intensity of his stare was starting to unnerve me and I tried to look away but the hold he had on my chin tightened, silently calling my attention back to him.
“What happened here is what I call maintenance”
Maintenance?
He must have seen my confusion as he wasted no time in explaining.
“Just as you have a car that needs an oil change, tires rotated and a tune up every now and then…”
I cut him off with my own understanding “You have to give your submissive a tune up?”
“Yes” he smiled “There will be times when my submissive as wonderful and obedient as she is will need maintenance to keep her grounded. There are many ways to go about doing that. Today I chose the quickest most direct form, to get to the bottom of your anxiety so that you a could get yourself…balanced once again”
I thought about that, realizing that is exactly what he did. My mind was a jumbled mess of emotions that felt like every synapse was firing off in a different direction. I was on the verge of panic, unable to gain control of myself as I fought through all the implications that kept charging through my mind. Edward recognized that, took command of the situation and did what was needed to set me back on the path I had chosen.
“That was achieved by sending your girl into subspace?” That’s where I was. The first time it happened I was afraid, this time it was so easy to slip into the alternate universe.
Edward smiled at me “That was an added bonus”
“Will you have to do maintenance often?” I didn’t know if there was a scheduled once a month submissive overhaul, the same way there was the three-thousand mile oil change. Instead of Jiffy-Lubed I would be Speedy-Spanked. That thought made me giggle.
“Are you going to share the joke?” Edward’s grin widened as I told him my Speedy-Spanked theory.
“I told you there are other ways and when time or circumstances allots for it I will choose one of those. However I can’t tell you how often that will happen. Isabella you gave me your submission, trusting me to always do the right thing. All I can tell you is that when it comes to your welfare I will do whatever is necessary. Your only job is to trust and obey, which you did magnificently”
I smiled at the word magnificently “Master your girl trust you and she loves you”
“That’s good to know that she trust me and better to hear that she loves me. Because I love her, very much” His hand was still on my chin as he kissed me softly.
“Now how about we take a bath?”
I agreed but voiced my concern about putting on my clothes. I hated to do that, always feeling so grimy with clean skin and dirty clothes. Edward came to my recue by bringing in a pair of his sweat pants and t-shirt that he had in his workout bag. He always carries a clean set of clothes for himself in the black tote.
He’s like my own private boy scout- always prepared.
The bath felt really good after my initial yelp from sitting my hot bottom into the water. Edward helped me out as much as he could by holding onto my cheeks until they got accustomed to the temperature, but it still hurt like hell. Leaning back against his chest I wondered how in the world I was going to be able to sit in the car for a six hour drive the next day. That thought brought to mind the question he had asked when we left Casey’s.
“Master it was a Monday night and your girl was working at the store…”
EPOV
Sitting in the warm water with Bella’s body between my legs and her back against my chest, my hands moved in small soothing circles over her stomach while I listened to the story.
Bella was working her part-time job at the grocery store, when she came out at ten o’clock to leave the old truck she drove wouldn’t start. She was going to go back inside to call Charlie when James knocked on her window asking if she needed any help. He lifted the hood, fiddled around with something, told her to turn the key and the truck started.
While she told me this I remained quiet wondering if he was the reason her truck was disabled in the first place. It would easy to remove a cable or a wire that would temporally immobilize the vehicle, and then effortlessly repair it.
Bella continued telling me that after James had gotten the truck started he followed her home under the pretence of seeing that she was safe. Not wanting her to be alone and break down along the way in the dark.
That would have played right into Bella’s submissive nature, her need to feel safe and protected. It also played along with the fact that she felt awkward and isolated so having someone care about her would have made an impression. If he did purposely disable the truck then he played his trump card well.
She continued to tell me that the next morning when she left for school, James was waiting for her. He said that he worried that perhaps the engine wouldn’t start again and she would need a ride. Bella told him that it was unnecessary and to his credit he backed off.
A few days later while she was at her locker he asked her out on a date. Bella said that she was reluctant because James was supposedly dating someone else. He assured her that they had broken up so after a few more attempts at a date Bella finally said yes. The relationship started out slowly with a few dates to movies, dinner and bowling. Gradually building up through natural progression to what she called an exclusive relationship.
Bella assured me that up until that night when he beat her with the belt he had never hit her before. There were times when James would grab her arm, squeeze her wrist and a few times he had shoved her into a locker or the wall. She would always discount the incidences as him needing to let off steam or reacting to something she had done. James also began to tell her where she could go and who she should be with. Belittling or yelling at her when she would go against his will. That was the stubborn streak in her coming through or maybe it was the fact that she loved her friends more then she loved him. Either way Bella said he could yell and scream all he wanted she wasn’t giving up her friends.
“Baby didn’t you recognize the signs?”
She shook her head “No. At the time, this girl didn’t know that there were signs. She didn’t know to back away. She thought that James just had a bad temper, never would have considered that he could be so full of hatred and violence. She truly had no clue and no one to talk to about it.”
Her reasons sounded plausible to me. In Seattle the school districts teach about domestic violence as part of the curriculum for heath class. The beginnings signs of abuse are clearly laid out; the possessiveness, the controlling, and the constant ridicule are all bright red flashing signs telling the girl to beware. Add into that any form of physical restraint or manhandling and the warning of it escalating to dangerous proportions couldn’t be any clearer. Young people are taught these facts along with given the phone numbers of places to contact if needed.
Forks High School had no such curriculum, which I think is preposterous. Small rural towns are no more immune to the realities of society then a large city. If anything they should be diligent in their education of personal awareness simply because they lack the resources that can be found in the city. Clinics, shelters, and women’s centers are all absent giving those with a problem no place to go. Their only option is to seek out someone who they cannot be sure is going to keep their confidence, or have the training needed to help them.
The water was starting to get cold and I knew it had to be close to eight o’clock, making us an hour late. We were going to have to leave soon or they might send out a search team to find us, but first I needed to know something.
“Isabella why didn’t you ever go out with someone else?” It seemed to me that if she had then maybe James wouldn’t have been so predominate in her life.
Bella’s head turned towards mine nuzzling into my neck “No one ever asked”
“Never?” she shook her head and I found that so hard to believe.
Jesus Christ are all the males here blind?
I’ve seen her high school picture she was fucking gorgeous. I don’t care how isolated she was, short of sitting in class picking her nose and farting I would have been all over her shit.
My arms tighten around her middle kissing the top of her head. Bella sighed not in that irritating way that annoys me but in a resigned way. I was going to get out of the water when she spoke “Your girl’s father is the chief of police. So that means that his children are either unruly because they think they can get away with it, or so goody-two-shoes that they would squeal. Besides the last thing a boy wants to do is upset the chief of police by dating his daughter and risk making an enemy because things didn’t work out.”
In there lies yet another reason why Bella was ostracized. That wasn’t anyone’s fault and I could understand the reluctance of teenagers to take a chance on pissing off a man that could make their life a living hell. That fear didn’t seem to bother James though, maybe after he got to know her, he realized that she was closed mouth about things. I also saw that James was a rather clever person who quickly figured out that there was no inter-personal communication between Bella and her father, leaving him safe to fulfill his plans.
Once we were out of the tub I put some more Lanolin on Bella’s bottom. It was still rather pink with an all around even color that shouldn’t bruise. That is the tricky part; the skin needs to be warmed up before the actual spanking begins. Then it is a matter of keeping the color spread evenly by paying attention to where each strike lands. I was sure there was no damage done but I was also sure that Bella would be feeling the tingle and the heat from the spanking for at least another day. That means that I would have to make sure to keep applying the ointment and checking on how she heals.
Bella looked rather sexy in my clothes; the grey sweat pants were way to long so she rolled the waist down to get a better fit. The white t-shirt was also big, going down to her thighs but that was a good thing because she refused to put back on her bra. The extra room shielded the shape of her breast although the light color didn’t hide anything else. Not that I minded her nipples poking out through the cotton. However I wasn’t sure who we would run into before she could dress properly and I didn’t want them to have a free show.
I’m not above her exhibitionism; I find it as erotic as she does as long as it’s done in the right atmosphere where the rules of conduct are clear. The last thing that I wanted to have happen was Jared to catch her dressed like that. Something told me that he didn’t care one bit if Bella was HO-quaht, that man wanted my woman.
My woman who was standing there wearing my clothes, fixing her hair in the mirror with my hairbrush, in a fashion that shows off my collar and wiggling her butt that is pink from my attentions. She’s mine and that motherfucker was going to know it.
Bella insisted on fixing the bed while I packed up the tote. She eyed me with a coy smile as I wiped off the black leather paddle with disinfectant. “Did you use that?”
“Yes” I told her throwing the wipe into the garbage and putting the paddle away.
Zipping the tote up I realized that Bella was still watching me with a strange expression that was somewhere between surprise and satisfaction.
“You disapprove?”
She had listed paddling as a high number on her new limits. That’s why I chose that implement as a way of saving my hand. Because let’s face it, after a while the contact begins to sting, which reduces impact. In order to prolong the session something has to used to achieve the desired effect that both of us are looking for.
“No Master, this one completely approves. She just didn’t realize that you had stopped using your hand”
That’s good, if I do my job right there shouldn’t be any detection on her part, the intensity of the sensations should flow from one toy to another. The expression on her face told me she had something else on her mind.
“Ask me”
“Your girl was wondering when you made the switch. Was it before she started begging you to stop?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact most of the session was with the paddle”
A look of pure satisfaction came over her face that made my heart soar with pride at her own fulfillment. Pulling Bella close to me I kissed her passionately while my hand moved under the hem of the shirt she was wearing and dipping into the pants to feel the warm wetness I was looking for.
My purpose wasn’t to bring her any sexual satisfaction; it was solely to reiterate my expectations of her continuing with the task I had given. However the moan that resonated in my mouth along with the firmness of the clit under my fingers told me my girl was not only prepared for me she was very needy. And she was going to stay that way, for at least a little while longer.
Pulling back from her mouth and her sex, Bella let out a whimper that was not making my hard-on any easier to ignore. The lust in her eyes was staggering and I had to search my brain to come up with the words I wanted to say.
“Now that your body is prepared for me, see that it remains that way”
“Yes Sir” Her voice was weak and I half expected her to beg for an orgasm. Instead Bella lowered her eyes took in a deep breath and gave herself over to her submission.
“Good girl” I told her with pride taking one last look around the room before we left.
The heavy rain had slowed to a steady drizzle that had not stopped since we been here. After getting Bella into the car and the tote bag back into the trunk I put the room key into the drop off box outside of the office. Getting back into the car I could tell that Bella was uncomfortable. Her body language was screaming arousal.
I had just made the turn onto the 101 when Bella’s breathing started to deepen. I half expected as much, due to how tender her bottom was from the spanking. That alone would be enough to fuel her desire. Glancing over I could see that her nipples were diamond hard. Bella had her thighs pressed tightly together as she wiggled her hips making it very clear what she was doing.
“Isabella you are being naughty”
Looking back at the road I couldn’t tell if the quick gasp was surprise from the word naughty or at being caught. I figured it would be better if I took care of both.
“Would you care to tell me why you are stimulating my pussy without permission?” Shifting my eyes I could see Bella lower her head but she said nothing. That was a good thing since I wasn’t done and she was already in trouble.
“You are sitting there clinching your thighs together and wiggling against the seam like a bitch in heat amounts to the same thing as masturbating. I know you are aroused and perhaps had you asked I might have allowed you release. As it is now there is not a chance in hell of that happening. So spread your knees wide apart, sit back and stay still.”
There was no need for her to answer me, glancing over I could see the blush on her face and I was sure that the pang of humiliation she was feeling only added to her need. That was ok, because I was dealing with my own throbbing dick. Had we the time I would have pulled over somewhere to take care of both of us, as it was Bella’s phone started playing ‘Love Shack’.
I knew it was Leah calling, looking at the clock I realized that we were over an hour late and was surprised that she hadn’t called before. Then again Bella’s phone was in her purse, which she had left in the car when we were at the motel.
Bella looked over at me unsure what to do. She didn’t need my permission to answer yet I gave it to her anyway “Talk to your sister”
Bella fished her phone out of her purse, flipping it open to put an end to that stupid song. I was going to have to ask about the significance of the ring tone later.
“Hi”
oh god
I practically groan from the twinge that shot through my dick. Bella’s voice was so breathy it sounded like she was on the verge of an orgasm.
“…we’re on our way…in about ten minutes…no I’m fine…I’m fine Leah”
She didn’t sound fine to me, Bella had that tone in her voice that lets me know she needs to be fucked. That thought made me chuckle as I listened to the rest of the one sided conversation.
“...we just hit the rez now…alright bye”
Tucking the phone back into her purse Bella grinned “It was raining so hard that they didn’t get started on time, but now everyone is there and Leah was just wondering if we had left the motel yet because they are waiting for us”
I shot her a look of shock then chuckled “News travels fast”
She giggled along with me nodding “Welcome to small town USA.”
Pulling up in front of the house she was right they were all waiting for us. Looking over at her state of dress her breasts were very visibly excited. Reaching in the back seat I grabbed my sweatshirt. It was still damp but she wouldn’t have to wear it long. Handing it to Bella she gave me a curious look. Not saying anything I ran the back of my hand over her nipples.
“Oh…” she blushed “That bad?”
“I like it.” I grinned “I just prefer that they don’t get to like it.” my head inclined to the five males standing on the porch.
By the time I had her door open Bella had pulled the hoodie over her head and was tugging it down over her thighs as she got out. She was swimming in my clothing and still looked sexy as hell. Jacob came down off the porch wrapping Bella in a hug.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine” and she was.
Jacob gave her the once over glancing at me before looking back at Bella. “I couldn’t get to you, Sam told Emery and Paul not to let me out of the chair. They wouldn’t let me up.”
“I was fine Jake, I knew you were there…” her comment stung a little that someone else could bring her comfort until she added “…and I could feel Edward right behind me. I knew that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me and the last thing you need is to get in trouble. So it was better that way.”
He nodded then smirked “What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?”
Bella blushed “I don’t know it happen so fast…” she held her palm up “…and it hurt my hand”
“Is it ok?”
Jacob inspected her hand the same way I had done earlier, even placing a kiss in the center of her palm before pulling her back into a hug and calling her a name I didn’t understand. Had the exchange occurred with anyone other than Jacob the jealousy I was feeling would have been unbearable. As it was I quashed them with the knowledge that their relationship was that of siblings and I would have treated Alice the same way.
“Bella are you going dressed like that?” Leah called from porch.
Bella turned to look at her “No I don’t even have under ware on”
“Well hurry up, I’m starving”
Bella rolled her eyes at me “I’ll get you a clean sweat shirt?”
I nodded “That would be great”
We followed Bella onto the porch she walked to Leah who was appraising Bella’s appearance. Shaking her head they both went inside while Jacob handed me a beer, I could hear Charlie through the screen door asking Bella where she had been. Apparently the word of our motel room tryst hadn’t reached his ears yet.
“Yeah where the hell were you two?” I guess Seth hadn’t been informed either.
“Ah…it was a trying afternoon and we needed alone time to talk” I took a swig from the bottle while Paul laughed.
“Is that what you call it? I guess you could talk during…”
Jared cut him off before the real crudeness started “Is Bella alright? Did he hurt her?”
It was genuine concern and I couldn’t fault the guy for that “No he didn’t hurt her and she’s fine…now” I added the now to let him know that it was I who had made my woman better.
Quil spoke up “I don’t know how in the hell you didn’t rip his arm off”
I shrugged listening to Bella in the house calling Seth’s name “I was afraid if I did anything he would have hurt her. I was bidding my time waiting for the right moment to step in…”
The calling became louder and Seth yelled towards the door that he was outside. Bella opened the screen door coming out on the porch with my sweat shirt in her hand and not one covering the white t-shirt she was wearing. I tried to express my disapproval with her attire or rather lack of, with my eyes but Bella wasn’t looking at me as she handed me the hoodie.
“Not you” she informed Seth while her eyes went to Jacob “Where is my dog? They said to ask you”
Jacob’s expression turned almost guilty as he stumble over his words “ahh…yeah about…that” while he was trying to pacify her Paul ever the one to make a comment had to say something “Nice beamers Bells”
That’s why I gave her the damn sweatshirt in the first damn place
She didn’t seem to care as her whole face turned red. Only this wasn’t from blushing Bella was angry. Grabbing the back of the shirt it pulled tight against her skin while she yelled “Beamers? There are your fucking beamers! Now where is my dog?”
Charlie’s voice from inside the door warned her about cursing while she stared down Jacob and I thanked god that she released the slack on the back of the her shirt.
“Bells calm down. He’s alright; in fact he’s probably going to have the night of his life”
“Jacob William Black Where Is My Dog” Each word came out through angry clenched lips.
He didn’t answer her as it looked like he was still searching for the words to say. However Seth didn’t seem to have any problem telling her. “His services were needed”
“What does that mean?” turning her frustration to Seth
“He’s on a booty call”
Chapter 62
Chapter 62
EPOV
Since the moment we arrived in Forks I had wondered how in the world someone who was surrounded by so many people who loved her could have fallen prey to someone like James. Not that I’m ignorant of the fact that even women who have never been exposed to abuse or hardships in their childhood couldn’t find themselves in the same situation. There are all kinds of predators in the world leaving even the most self-assured person with strong family ties, vulnerable to their influence.
I had figured out the reason why no one helped her, she didn’t let them. Keeping all the terror and degradation to herself. Bella became a master magician at hiding all the misery from those who loved her, out of fear, shame or some warped sense of pride. She hid her scars behind half hearted smiles and isolation. Granted, I don’t know very much about the mental state of an abused woman, however since being with Bella, I have been given a crash course and, from what I can understand, that response is typical.
For all the issues that Bella has with her lack of confidence, she makes up for in stubbornness. That was evident the first time we had any play. That night on the couch when Leah and Jacob burst into the room, she had no instruction in control yet she refused to move her arms from where I placed them.
Pigheaded
In this cold cruel world we live in that trait can be very useful, it can also be twisted by someone who has ulterior motives and used as a weapon to exploit. That’s what James did. He preyed upon an innocent girl who had issues with herself and her surroundings and then took the one strength she had and utilized it against her.
I could see why Bella married so young, she was an outcast in a world of harmony. She lived in a small close knit community where everyone gathers around each other’s life achievements. They celebrate the good while gossiping about the bad. This is a world where generations of families subsist for the sole purpose of keeping their community intact. In doing that they shun the unfamiliar and that’s what Bella was.
She was a native, yet because she was removed from among everyone else Bella was all but forgotten. Her reemergence might have been a happier reunion had it not been for the circumstances. As a child who had just unexpectedly lost the one parent who she relied upon it would make sense that she would be standoffish. Had Bella arrived in the beginning of the school year or even a few months prior, perhaps things would have been different. She might have acclimated herself into the fold, made the normal alliances and become one with her environment.
Instead the school year ended and rather than place Bella where she would have been with other children from her class, her father sent her to the reservation with his friends to be cared for. I’m not second guessing that decision, even to me that seems like the best option; however it also enforced the divide between Bella and her classmates. She became even more of a pariah to those she went to school with. As she grew her natural instinct was to push them away to welcome in the people who she knew and who readily accepted her.
There would have been nothing wrong with that had Bella truly been completely accepted by those whom she associated with. To the outward eye she had been, Billy called her his own, Sue treats her like a daughter and everyone else at La Push thinks of her as belonging. However, even by her own admission there is a missing piece that keeps Bella at arm’s length; creating a chasm that could not be breached or overlooked.
The one time she violated the unseen gap turned into a disaster. She trusted that boy more than she would have trusted anyone who she had attended school with, making his betrayal a harsher sting. Jared- who I had yet to meet- did what every young boy does, exaggerated his conquest by bragging to his friends. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this was also the time when Bella realized that she was HO-quaht , and therefore unworthy of the boy she was infatuated with. It’s not the boys fault, but something tells me that the events surrounding that summer did more to throw Bella openly into the arms of James than anything else.
Sue had commented that she knew something happened but she never inquired about any specifics from Bella. Even when she realized that Bella no longer spent time with Jared, showing that whatever happened must have been rather devastating. I don’t know that Bella would have opened up to Sue about the circumstance behind the breakup, but at least it would have told Bella that someone cared enough to have noticed her grief.
The worst part about the whole thing was Charlie’s reaction. I can’t blame him for the way he responded, no father wants to hear the words ‘daughter and condoms’ used in the same sentence. However, the incident occurred ten years ago and rather than take in the information with an open mind he lashed out in accusation.
Bella who was the victim was forced to defend herself, which that alone spoke volumes as to their father-daughter relationship. For all intents and purposes Bella was a parent’s wet dream. She cooked, cleaned, worked, got good grades, and behaved in public so what more could a father have asked for? Charlie is the kind of man who shelters his emotions, limiting outward signs of affection and with his simple body language discourages open communication.
Bella had once told me that she would not have forced Charlie to hear all the details about what occurred between her and James. At the time I didn’t understand why not. Charlie was a cop; he sees people at their very worst; surely for the sake of his daughter’s wellbeing he would have stepped up to the plate and given her the support she needed. After having witnessed their interaction I can see that Bella was right, I don’t think he could handle it in the supportive manner that would be required.
My fear is that at hearing the details his natural inclination would be to lash out at Bella. To inadvertently place blame, by making her feel ashamed, guilty, or humiliated about something she had no control over. Just as he had done upon learning of Jared’s mild transgression, how much more appalled would Charlie be to learn why she had no bathtub? Besides I don’t like to hear the details I could not imagine the anger and pain it would cause Charlie, especially since he can’t do anything about it.
Sitting in the small living room waiting for Bella to come back from the kitchen with her father, my eyes once again moved to the photos on the mantle. It was as if her life was written in pictures across the wooden surface. From her birth to a toothless girl in pigtails with a happy face and a mischievous glint in her eyes, Bella was happy. Then it appeared that the gleam was gone, replaced with the dullness of a girl with shallow cheeks and short brown hair. The teenage years took on a look of resignation, the feeble smile plastered to her face to hide the isolation.
Perhaps it was symbolic that the last photo was her wedding day. I found it odd that should be included in the collection. Maybe it was placed there all those years ago and never removed, or perhaps Charlie keeps it because it was the last day she was his little girl. Whatever the reason, my thoughts remained the same as when I held it in my hand.
The young girl staring back from behind the veil had a face of innocent youth with eyes of ancient solitude. Bella wanted what everyone wants, someone who she could rely on to be there for her completely, unconditionally and without any hesitation.
Irrational as it may be the other thing that went through my mind was a flash of jealousy at the thought of Bella walking down an isle towards another man. I squashed that feeling down as soon as I recognized it but the thought still remained. I don’t care how long ago it was or that we didn’t even know each other, the only person that I want her to find the happiness in life that she’s looking for is me.
Bella came out of the kitchen with a strange look on her face. Setting the two glasses of ice tea down on the table she took a hold of my hands. “Come on I’ll show you the rest of the house.”
Looking up into her eyes I tried to decipher what was the matter with her, and being unable to tell I stood letting her lead me to the stairs. Charlie came in from the kitchen with a small plate containing a piece of pie. Seeing us going upstairs he cleared his throat making Bella stop. “You see that those doors remain open, in fact, Leah why don’t go up with them and show Bella my new den?”
Leah didn’t respond but Bella groaned, “Dad.”
“UH…I’m not having any shenanigans going on.”
“What do you think we’re going to do up there?” Bella was appalled but I thought it was rather funny and had to work hard to suppress my laugh.
“Nothing with the door open and someone with you,” Charlie was unyielding and Leah rose to the appointment of chaperone. “I’ll go; I have to pee anyway and I want to see her reaction.”
“Ohhh… me too,” Seth followed his sister while Bella led the way upstairs.
The small square landing at the top of the stairs contained four open doors. Bella pointed to the left where Charlie and Sue’s room was along with the one bathroom. To the right was Seth’s room and then Bella pushed open the last door and nearly stumbled over her own feet as she stepped though the doorway.
“What the hell happened?” Bella’s voice was total astonishment while Seth laughed and Leah agreed with my assessment, “Hideous.”
“Oh my god Leah…our room,” Bella whined while taking in the sight before her.
It was an outdoorsman’s erotic dream come to life. Two lazy boy recliners faced the TV that sat angled in the corner in a black entertainment center. In the area between the two windows was a large gun cabinet with a smaller cabinet next to it containing fishing poles and gear. The wall themselves had some kind of shiny wood grain wallpaper covering them. For decorations there were all kinds of fishermen plaques with silly sayings ‘Fisherman hook the big ones’ and ‘Fisherman’s tales are bigger than their fronts.’ The most predominate things on the wall were Charlie’s mounted trophies, a large ten point buck and three gigantic fish.
“What is this stuff?” Bella asked touching the wall.
“Contact paper,” Leah said with a grin while Seth offered more information, “Wal-Mart was discontinuing it so Charlie bought it for fifty cents a roll,” his laughter broke on the last word and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Bella looked at me in astonishment, “This room used to be purple.”
“It still is,” Leah announced peeling back a small piece of the contact paper to reveal the purple paint underneath it. That was all it took for everyone to break out laughing while Seth pointed his finger up in the air, “Charlie wanted to go get more and do the ceiling.”
“Noooo?” Bella asked through her laugher as Seth held up his right hand, “I swear he did.”
“Where is all our stuff?”
“In the attic,” Seth answered Bella’s question while she looked around again.
“Well Edward, you are going to have to picture it.” Bella then went on to describe how the room used to be set up. After explaining that they had twinkle lights around the perimeter of the ceiling she looked back to me with a serious expression. “Honestly what did he think we were going to do in this room, there is a freaking Moose watching us.”
“Wait you haven’t seen the best part,” Seth walked over to open up the closet revealing an RC Cola soda machine. “Do you have a quarter?” he asked me holding out his hand in expectation.
Digging in my pocket I held out my hand with what was in there. Seth put the coin into the slot pressed the first square button bringing the machine to life. Bending over he pulled a can of beer out of the opening.
“Don’t drink that,” Charlie’s unexpected voice came from behind us while Seth assured him that he wouldn’t. Charlie looked to Bella with pure enjoyment on his face, “What do you think?”
“Umm…it’s you dad,” that was probably the nicest thing Bella could say.
The room was faux log cabin and definitely fit Charlie’s personality and I could tell he was proud of it. He looked to me for an opinion; I just smiled looking around the room and asked about the mounted fish. He launched into a tale of where he caught each one and even knew the dates and how long it took to reel them in. I had been deep sea fishing a few times and when I was little my grandfather Cullen use to take Emmett and I out in his boat on the lake. That was the extent of my fishing experience, but at least it gave us something in common to talk about. When I asked about the buck Charlie told me that he didn’t actually shoot that, he bought it at the same auction where he got the soda machine. He thought that it added to the authenticity of the lodge atmosphere he was trying to create.
“Alright Seth are you ready to go?” Charlie asked when we finished with our conversation.
“Yeah, just let me get something out of my room,” as Seth started walking out the door he turned to look at me and Bella. “Remind me that I want to ask you a favor.”
“You want me to remind you to ask me for a favor?” Seth looked at Bella with narrow eyes, “Yeah…” his eyes shifted to me. “Edward you’ll remind me, right?”
“I’ll try to remember.”
“Thanks,” he smiled.
Charlie shook his head while Bella asked if he knew what Seth wanted, “No clue Bells it could be anything.”
Seth was back in the doorway telling Charlie that he was ready to go. As Charlie was leaving he pushed the door all the way open giving Bella a pointed look, “That stays open.”
Bella told Seth that we would all yell loudly for him and the two of them left. Bella looked around the room again letting out a sigh. She still had a strange look on her face like something Charlie had said to her in the kitchen had upset her. Wrapping my arms around her shoulders I pulled her close to me.
“Did you have a nice talk with your dad?” I didn’t want to push but I didn’t want Bella to dwell on negative thoughts either.
She shrugged, “Yeah.”
That was it - Yeah?
Bella moved away from me to stand in front of the mirror that hung on the inside of the open closet door. She looked at herself for a second and then lifted her sweatshirt up off her head, turning sideways to look at herself again.
What the fuck is she doing?
Her hands rested on her stomach, slid down her hips and then rested on the fullness of her bottom. Shifting her eyes they met mine in the mirror where her whole face scrunched up. “Am I getting fat?”
“What?” I had no idea why she would think that.
“Charlie said I gained weight,” I couldn’t help but chuckle as my arms once again wrapped around her body while Bella continued to look repulsed.
“It’s not funny Edward!”
My eyes shot up in surprise at the outburst, while my tone took on a harsh edge. “Excuse me, was there a part about saying my name correctly you didn’t understand?”
“No Sir, your girl is sorry it’s just…”
I cut her off, “It’s just that your mouth spoke before your brain could stop it.”
Bella took the reprimand with lowered eyes; I however wanted her to understand what Charlie was talking about.
“Look in the mirror Isabella,” our gaze met. “You have gained weight,” her eyes narrowed and I went on to explain before she got the wrong idea, “but it’s a healthy weight. Your cheeks aren’t as shallow,” the back of my hand skimmed along her face. “Your breasts are fuller,” my hand skimmed down to cup the fullness. “Your bottom is a little rounder,” my other hand gave her cheek a squeeze. “Your eating habits have improved tremendously making you appear more fit than you were before. That is what Charlie was talking about, he meant it in a good way.”
“Then he should have said that,” her admission made me grin as my eyes looked around the –if I was being honest – gaudy room. “Somehow baby your father doesn’t strike me as being a very tactful man.”
Bella giggled trying to turn in my arms, however I had other things on my mind and I held her still while opening the top of her pants. My hand sneaked down between her skin and jeans to feel her wet heat. At the feeling of her body’s readiness my dick twitched making me grind myself against her while I praised her with a growl, “Good girl.”
Bella’s body responded to my light touch by relaxing against me with a soft whimper. At the sound of her delight, I pulled my hand back out patting the exposed skin of her stomach while speaking in her ear, “No shenanigans.”
“Ohhh,” Bella groaned while I chuckled at her dismay.
“Come on my pet, let’s go,” I added with a swat on her bottom just as Sue called her name from downstairs.
I went in to use the bathroom while Bella put her sweatshirt back on and went downstairs. I could hear the woman in the kitchen while I sat down with Jacob and Billy in the living room. Handing me a beer Jacob asked what I thought of the room and then laughed when I said that Charlie had achieved the look he was going for. We sat there for a few minutes talking about baseball until the conversation switched to the woman who Billy has been seeing. As I listened it became clear that Billy was not completely paralyzed, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with Jacob when Billy told us the reason he stopped dating the last woman.
“Don’t laugh boys I’m telling you that stuff is important,” As he said the words Seth came running up to me with his tail wagging and Bella following with his leash in her hand.
“What’s so funny?” Billy glanced over his shoulder at her then gave me a pointed look, “Well maybe it’s not as important for you.”
Bella eyed us waiting for an answer and I didn’t know what to tell her so I was more than happy when Sue and Leah joined us asking if we were ready to go. Leah needed to use the bathroom again, while Bella put Seth on his leash and Jacob asked if I would help him get Billy down the stairs. With everyone outside I held Bella’s hand while we walked the few blocks down to Main Street. It appeared that the whole town had turned out for the parade and a few more people either said hello or stared at Bella as we walked up the street to where the group from La Push seemed to have conjugated. Jacob opened up a chair for Leah while everyone said hello and the women hugged.
That was something I was still getting use to, all the female hugging. It’s not that it bothers me; I just find it to be one of those amusing things women did that I had never noticed before. I could see the draw if it had been a while since they had seen each other, that would make sense. But it appeared to me that women hug every time they join or part one another’s company. I suppose it is equated with a hand shake or a pat on the back but it still seemed strange.
Standing there in the slight drizzle of rain watching the interaction of friends I didn’t at all feel left out of the conversations. I stood behind Bella with my arm wrapped around her waist talking with the men while she carried on a chat with the women. It seemed natural to me that I should be in such a position talking about dog breeding and darts over the heads of the women. Every now and then one of girls would butt into our discussion with a question that had nothing to do with what we were talking about.
Like when Quil was explaining about the addition he is putting onto his house and the horror stories that the contractors were putting him through. That was interesting to me because the contractors were to be starting my bathroom the following week. He was just saying how he had ordered high efficiency windows and they installed regular double paned when Claire turned around to interrupt.
“Baby, who was that football player?”
Quil stopped talking to look at her just like the rest of us did, “Which one?”
“You know that one from Dancing with the Stars, he started dating his partner, bought her that expensive ring. What was his name?”
“Umm…LT, LaDainian Thomlinson.”
“Yeah…who did he play for?”
“The Jets,” Quil answered while Claire shook her head, “nooo, here on the west coast.”
“San Diego.”
Claire smiled at him, “That’s right San Diego, why can’t I remember that?” she asked herself turning back around to talk to the girls, “he was there.”
Quil shook his head with a smirk then went back to finishing his story, it was then I realized what a man in love looked like to an outsider. I had seen my brothers and father interact with their women, doting on them to the point of being indulgent. The respect that I always had for women was a learned trait from my parents, the coddling that I give Bella is pure love and I will indulge her as much as I damn well please no matter what I look like to someone else.
That thought caused my arm to squeeze her a little tighter to me making her look up and smile, “Everything ok?”
“Everything is perfect,” I told her before placing a chaste kiss on her lips when our lips parted I continued to stare into her deep brown eyes, “I love you.”
The most gorgeous blush broke out on her face as she asked coyly, “a whole bunch?”
“Bucket loads.”
Before I realized what Bella was doing she had spun around wrapped her arms around my neck and jumped up to bring her face level with mine. My arms automatically wrapped around her back to hold her to me as she spoke against my lips, “I love you.”
The moment was sealed with another kiss but nothing went too far because I was well aware of the fact that we were in a very public place with many eyes on us. I was just about to tell her to behave when a voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Hey sweet cheeks when you are done mauling Edward I have something for you.”
Fucking Emery and that damn nickname
Bella giggled as I patted her bottom before she let go of my neck sliding back down my body to stand on her feet. “I was not mauling Edward,” she held her hand out while I turned to face him and his family. “Can I have it?”
“No way,” he shook his head. “I’m not that easy, you have to come get it”
What the fuck is he talking about?
“No,” Bella didn’t sound very convincing.
“Come on sweet cheeks I dare you,” he taunted while his wife Kim giggled “Oh don’t do that.”
Bella shook her head and he grinned, “I double dare you.”
I was still confused at the exchange wondering what the hell he wanted Bella to do when she patted my chest took a step towards him and leaped up onto Emery’s chest wrapping her legs around his waist. Just as I had done his hands wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling while his face took on a look of shock, “Damn girl my wife is here.”
Bella didn’t seem to care about that as she patted around his chest like she was looking for something while demanding, “Where are they?”
I could feel the scowl growing on my face and the only thing that kept me from ripping her out of his arms was the laughter from Kim and Jacob’s hand on my shoulder. Emery must have seen my anger because he pushed her back off his body, but she wasn’t releasing the grip around his waist. “Jesus Christ Bella, Edward is going to punch me in the face.”
“Well you shouldn’t tease me!” she yelled while I assured him, “Edward is thinking about punching you.”
“Here take ‘um before you get me beat up,” Emery reached inside his jacket pulling out a white envelope giving it to Bella who was now thankfully standing on her own two feet.
“Thanks,” the glee in her voice was replaced with sarcasm as she elbowed him in the ribs, “You big oaf.”
I still had no idea what just happened, looking around at the people who had watched their expressions were a mixture of shock and amusement. Jacob patted my shoulder as he chuckled “Bells is back.”
Emery however was still as bewildered as I was, “Geez what happened to blushing sweet cheeks?”
“She’s on vacation,” Bella announced opening up the envelope. “What is all this stuff?”
Emery ignored her question as he stepped towards me holding his hand out, “Sorry dude, I wasn’t expecting to be jumped, Bella’s never done that before,” he added with a chuckle while Bella stepped up closer to me.
“Bella’s never done a lot of things before,” she spoke before I could say anything, looking up at me through her lashes with a blush on her face that made me grin and my dick twitch at the deviousness of her words.
My blood pressure had calmed down enough to finally shake his hand and Emery explained what Bella was holding, “These are the four tickets.”
Tickets?
My brain was still reeling as he spoke to Bella, “You asked me to get the best seats I could, that’s them. You’re going to have to put up with my brother and his friends but those are the concession you are just going to have to endure. That other ticket is VIP parking; I could only get you one of them. Oh and by the way don’t tell Charlie you have that or he’ll be pissed and start pulling me over every time I’m in town.”
“He would not,” Bella giggled.
“Yes he would,” Emery assured her before she asked, “So this pass is good the whole season?”
Season? What is holding in her hand?
“Yes and if you lose it I can’t replace it.”
“What do you have babe?” I was starting to get excited but until I knew for sure I was going to keep myself under control
“Season Tickets,” They both said at the same time, Emery like it should be obvious and Bella with pure excitement.
Taking the tickets from Bella I studied them, “These are VIP Booth tickets?”
I knew my statement sounded like a question and that was how Emery answered, “Yes and they include playoff games. And we are going to the playoffs this year.”
“Thanks,” it was all I could think to say.
“Oh don’t thank me, sweet cheeks just asked if I could supersede the waiting list. They are in Bella’s name so next year you just renew them.”
The sound of sirens could be heard telling us that the parade was starting and Emery told us he would talk to us later he wanted to get his family seated. As he moved to leave us alone I could feel Bella staring at me while I held onto the ticket. There was a look of concern on her face that I didn’t understand.
“Don’t you want them?”
“What?”
Bella spoke so fast I had to listen closely to what she was saying, “Emmett said that you have been on the list for a long time and that you had to wait until someone died so I called Emery and asked if he could help, I thought you would be happy.”
She thought I wasn’t happy?
“I’m sorry baby,” I told her putting the ticket from my hand back into the envelope with his brothers. “I’m just slightly shocked and torn between wanting to jump up and down like a five year old and taking you behind the building to show you my appreciation.”
“Oh,” she beamed at me stepping closer. Bella wrapped her arms around my back looking up at me with her chin resting against my chest she had the devious look back in her eyes. “I vote for the second one.”
Her words made me chuckle and I kissed her quickly as the noise from the sirens grew louder. Bella tucked the envelope containing the tickets into her purse then stood in front of me with my arm protectively wrapped around her waist, just as Charlie was in eyesight. Everyone waved at him as he turned the sirens on once again. As the marching band from the high school started playing my eyes scanned the crowded street, on the other side towards the end of the block was James. He was standing with a very tall redhead with wild curly hair and he was staring right at us.
The parade passed by quickly, each class from Forks high school had a float while the reservation only entered two. The rest of the parade was filled in with boy scout troops, daycare groups and one dance class and of course the graduating senior class. As the kids walked by people would yell out their names, Bella, Leah and Sue yelled out to Seth so loudly he rolled his eyes and blushed. As the last fire trucks went by everyone started gathering up their stuff to leave and we stood in a circle saying good-bye as the hugging commenced.
Once we got back to the house Billy left and the rest of us sat down waiting for Charlie to come back. Jacob came in from the kitchen with beer offering one to both Bella and me and sitting down he made an announcement. “Everyone is going to Casey’s.”
“What’s Casey’s?”
Bella looked at me, “It’s a bar.”
“It’s a pub,” Jacob clarified. “They have dollar draft happy hour and awesome food you should come.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Beside what am I going to do with Seth?”
“Everyone is meeting at four, you can leave Seth here with Sue and she’ll bring him tonight.”
Bella didn’t hesitate in responding, “Sue doesn’t want to keep him and besides I should stay and help her get ready.”
“Sue!” Jacob yelled towards to kitchen, “do you need Bella’s help?”
“No,” she was standing in the doorway. “You go have fun, I’ll keep Seth.” Jacob smiled at Bella as if he had just solved the mystery of life.
“I’m not dressed,” Bella came back with but Jacob stopped her. “It’s Casey’s, your fine and stop making excuses. Come on Bells it will be fun, live a little,” he smirked, “I dare you.”
I could see Bella was beginning to consider the idea and admittedly I didn’t know what was holding her back however it seemed Jacob did, “What are you afraid of?”
Bella stiffened, “I’m not afraid.”
He completely ignored her protest, “Yes you are or you would go.”
I didn’t like the way he was manipulating her. Granted I didn’t think that Bella should be fearful of attending something she wanted to do, but I wasn’t even sure that she desired to go. That was the first thing I needed to find out.
“Baby do you want to go?” her eyes roamed the room like she was searching for the answer written on the walls while she bit into her bottom lip. Cupping her chin to force her attention to me, I searched her eyes to see if I could find the answer but all I saw was indecision.
“Isabella it’s a simple yes or no question. Don’t over think it and don’t feel pressured into it either. Do you want to go?”
“Is Leah going?” She tried to turn her head to ask Jacob but I held it firmly keeping her attention on me.
“I didn’t ask about Leah, I ask you Isabella. Do you want to go?” Punctuating each word so she would understand.
Her head nodded in my hand, “Yes.”
With her answer I smiled adding a playful wink. It was a simple thing as far as obedience goes yet I wanted her to know that I was proud of her. Kissing her forehead I whispered against her skin, “Good girl.”
Looking back towards Jacob he was watching us with a curious expression. I couldn’t tell if it was one of awe or aversion and to be honest it didn’t matter to me. I needed Bella to be focused on her own needs not those around her.
Charlie came in a few minutes before we left, happy that everything was back to normal in the town and glad that Bella was joining her friends. Although I found that odd that he was so concerned about her going to bars in Seattle yet here it was encouraged.
We followed behind Jacob to Casey’s which was located on the outskirts of town and housed in a large green converted barn. Pulling into the half full parking lot Bella looked around at the cars and she physically relaxed into the seat.
“Are you sure?” I asked looking up at the building before turning to her, “we could go back to the house or you could show me another trail in the woods.”
She giggled, “pervert.”
“Always,” I answered with a grin as she got a resigned looked on her face. “No, let’s go in.”
As I opened my door Jacob and Leah were standing there waiting and he yelled for us to hurry up, then practically whined that we were taking too long as I opened Bella’s door. Leah watched us while Bella took my hand to step out of the car, “Edward can you teach Jake to do that?”
“I open the door for you,” he protested as we walked up the stairs to the front door.
“When?” she objected.
“I thought you prided yourself on being independent?” she rolled her eyes while opening the door to a blast of music while Jake smirked holding the door open with a wave of his hand, “After you my dear.”
“Screw you,” Leah grinned stepping inside while Jacob assured her, “I keep trying.”
I grinned at their exchange while Bella openly laughed.
The inside was rather dark and reminded me of one of the local bars from my college days with ‘Father Figure’ coming from the speakers. Signs and beer posters covered every spot on the wall that was not occupied with the twenty-five different sized flat screens that appeared to be broadcasting every sporting event available. The room seemed to be in an ‘L’ shape that mimicked the dark wooden bar. In the corner gathered around several tables Paul was sitting with Sam, Emily, Quil and Claire.
As we walked in the man behind the bar pointed his finger in warning, “Jake I don’t want no trouble here.”
Jacob held up his hand as he continued walking, “No trouble Case.”
Taking our place with the others Paul couldn’t wait to say something, “You beat somebody’s ass one time…”
Bella sighed looking uncomfortable at what was being said and Jacob leaned over to kiss the top of her head. It was an intimate exchange that told me how much the two of them shared and a small part of me was envious that she seemed to rely on him so much. The majority of me was glad that she had someone in those harsh years to turn to.
“What are you drinking babe Coke or Sprite?”
Leah thought about her husband’s question, “ummm…I think I’ll go with the hard stuff…ginger ale.”
“You got it,” he said turning to me, “beer?”
“I’ll get it,” he waved me off, “you get the next round, but you better watch it because my woman can drink a lot of ginger ale.”
Emery and Kim came in and the group seemed to settle into a round of various conversations of laugher. Kim asked Paul where his wife was and rather than be civil he told her that she was at home where she belonged.
Kim laughed as he continued with the macho comments about telling her that her place is at home with the kids. Leah however didn’t take it as easily, “I am sooo telling her you said that.”
“Go ahead she knows who wears the pants in the family,” he said taking a long drink from his glass.
“Oh my god, you are in so much trouble. Somebody give me their phone so I can record this shit, because Rach will never believe it.”
“Go ahead, I’m not afraid of her,” everyone laughed because it was clear that he was definitely worried as his face changed to a serious expression.
“No seriously Kim…she wanted to put the kids in for a nap and mom was busy so Rach had to stay with them.”
Leah laughed harder, “I’m still telling her.”
He shrugged, “She won’t believe you and besides if she makes me mad she won’t get the high hard one.” he cupped his balls, “and that would be torture for her,” making everyone laugh.
“Torture?” Claire questioned through her laugher, “Rachel probably pisses you off to keep you away from her.”
“Nahh…she knows where her loins are buttered,” the laughter grew except from Jacob who looked sick. “Hey that’s my sister!”
From the corner of my eye I could see someone approaching the group. He was Quileute, tall with a muscular build long black hair and five o’clock shadow. As everyone said their hello’s to Jared, Bella smiled. “I was wondering where you were.”
“Hey Bells…” he gave her a small hug, “…I had to work.”
Besides her family he was the only one who I heard call her Bells and he seemed rather friendly with the hug, but I overlooked it. Bella introduced us and I shook his hand more out of respect for her. Foolishly as it sounds I was pissed off at what occurred between them, it irritated me that he could have been so callous with her emotions. I knew he was just a kid at the time and I shouldn’t hold it against him, especially since it seemed obvious to me that Bella had excused his actions. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as forgiving and found it a whole lot easier to hold a grudge.
While the girls went in to use the bathroom Emery and I started talking about golf. He has a normal four-some that meets on Friday mornings however two of them are going to be gone for a few weeks. He had suggested that perhaps Emmett and I would be interested in joining them, that sounded great to me and I knew that Emmett would jump at the chance. We were just exchanging phone numbers when the women came back without Bella. I glanced over to see her standing by the bathroom talking to some guy.
“Who’s that?” I asked Jacob inclining my head in her direction.
“Joe. He’s irritatingly talkative but harmless. His parents live two doors down from Charlie,” as he finished talking Bella looked over at me giving me look that said – help me.
I chuckled and Jacob grinned, “fucking Bella, she’s too polite for her own good, I better go get her.”
“I got her,” chuckling again as I got to my feet. Joe had a pool stick in his hand blocking the pathway so Bella couldn’t make her escape. From what I heard of the conversation there was nothing inappropriate being said, Bella was just trapped.
“Baby your food is getting cold,” I told the blatant lie while holding my hand out. Taking it, she quickly introduced me and after saying ‘nice to meet you’ I guided her back to the group.
Once she sat back down Bella smiled at me, “Thanks I was stuck there.”
Leah rolled her eyes, “Why are you so nice to everyone?”
“I can’t be rude,” she told her sister who assured her, “Well I can.”
Of course Bella couldn’t be rude it’s part of her submissive nature to please people, to think of others and their feelings. It’s just part of what makes her so very special.
Just like at the parade the conversations split the women were chatting amongst themselves while the men were talking about baseball. Bella was leaning into my side singing along quietly to ‘Breath’ she got to the words:
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
Her head tilted slightly so the words were directly in my ear and I could feel the rush of air from her breath across my neck. My eyes looked down into hers bringing our faces so close together that our noses nearly touched. “What are you doing?”
“Singing,” her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips.
“I think you’re doing something else…” the innocent smile on her face made me grin, “…and I think you should try and behave yourself.”
Bella sighed dramatically, “I’ll try.”
“Succeed.”
She tilted her chin higher to reach closer to my ear whispering, “Will your girl get a reward?”
“Maybe,” at my answer Bella became animated sitting up quickly to press her chest against mine bringing our faces to an almost level plane.
“Yeah …do you promise?” The excitement in her voice and eyes was so cute it reminded me of a child on Christmas morning.
“How can I promise a maybe?” I asked her tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Ohhh…” she whined twisting further so more of her body was facing me making the arm around her shoulder drop down to her waist to hold her tighter. “So I have a fifty-fifty shot.”
“That sounds about right,” I didn’t understand the huge smile that lit up her face and Bella must have seen my confusion because she spoke slowly into my ear, “That means your girl is getting her reward.”
“And tell me how my girl figures that?” The words were spoken quietly against her ear but she immediately pulled back to look in my eyes with that same optimistic smile.
“Because this girl is a glass is half full kind of girl,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out making her giggle with me.
“Is that right?” I asked through my laugher while she nodded her head in absolute certainty as I told her, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see if you’re correct.”
“I am,” Bella was sure of herself as she kissed me softly then pulled back with a smug smile. “You watch, I’ll prove it.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” I told her as she sat back correctly in her chair with a confident grin.
When my attention came back to the rest of the people in our group I found that the conversation had ceased and it would appear that our exchange had become their focus. Other than the last few sentences, the words Bella and I spoke were soft enough and the music loud enough that no one would have heard us, so they were only reacting to what they saw. Most of the faces staring at us were pleasant, in fact they seemed pleased. The only one who didn’t seem to appreciate our exchange was Jared, and hey, fuck him. Even Leah was sort of smiling but it was Emily who spoke up.
“You guys are so cute,” once that was out in the open Paul had to chime in, “Yeah, it’s almost sickening.”
I glanced over at Bella to see her face was so red from the blush that I knew her cheeks must be in pain. The music had stopped playing so I gave Bella money telling her go pick out some more, hoping that she would relax. With her gone the conversation once again picked up and the only people who paid me any attention were Leah and Jared.
Leah was eyeing me with a curiousness in her gaze and a knowing smile on her face. I had nothing against Leah, she was only looking out for her sister and that was a trait I can admire. If it was going to take time for her to fully trust me I could wait, just so long as she is civil along the way. Jared’s narrow eyes were harder to read and of less importance to me.
Bella was standing at the jukebox picking out music and I wasn’t paying much attention, after all she was only about fifteen feet away and the place wasn’t that crowded. I didn’t hear anyone new come in however, the voice was unmistakable.
“Just fucking great. How long are you going to be here?”
“Shit,” Jacob muttered angrily while Paul mumbled, “there goes the party.”
I couldn’t be concerned with them because Bella was standing alone. I got to my feet so fast that the chair flew backwards however it wasn’t fast enough. Bella turned to move away from him and he grabbed her arm. “I’m talking to you bitch!”
“Let me go!”
“Get your hand off her!” James looked me in the eye, “Now!” I growled angrily because I was going to kill that motherfucker.
“Let Bella go,” it was Sam who was standing beside me with a voice of authority.
James huffed, shaking his head like he was disgusted with the whole situation. I didn’t want to grab him because he still had Bella’s arm, besides Sam had his arm out like he was blocking my approach. James smirked at me before shifting his eyes to Sam then dropped Bella’s arm as he spoke.
“So not fucking worth it, god damn cunt.”
I wanted to seize a hold of Bella to get her to safety then get her out of there without any more incidence, fate seemed to have a different agenda. The whole thing happened in slow motion I could see Bella’s hand drop from his grasp, then it started to move again. It came up with such force that James’s head actually moved sideways from the blow. I was so stunned that it didn’t register that Bella had slapped him until the ‘crack’ from the impact reached my ears.
“Don’t you ever touch me!” Bella screamed with furious anger.
“You fucking Bitch!” he screamed whether from pain or shock I don’t know.
The adrenaline in Bella’s system was wearing down because she was visibly shaking and the furiousness that she had just spoken with was gone as she called with a trembling voice, “Casey call Officer Mark and tell him that James is in violation of a PFA.”
James narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to intimidate; however as anxious as she was, my girl was not backing down and I think James knew it. My mind was torn between removing her and letting her have the moment of strength to stand her ground. I chose the latter hoping that she could feel my presence and let her gain whatever she needed from it.
“Well aren’t you the fucking brave one”
Bella didn’t say anything to him and she didn’t back down either. It seemed like an eternity that they stood there playing a bizarre game of chicken, waiting to see who would break first. Bella’s tenacity which James had used as weapon against her was now being turned against him, and it didn’t matter how scared she was, there was no way she was losing.
He spit on the floor at her feet, “I’m leaving smells like shit in here anyway.”
That motherfucker
I couldn’t think about the implication of James’s parting words because Bella was a shaking mess. Pulling her to me her hands gripped my shirt while I held her tightly, “Shhhh…it’s ok baby, you’re ok.”
I didn’t think Bella was crying and if she was it would have been in response to the hormone fluctuations because I didn’t think James actually hurt her. That was something I would have to check out once she settled down. She was still trembling so much that I lifted her up by her hips. Sensing what I was doing her arms moved around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist. Bella buried her face in my neck taking deep breaths, with each one I could feel her relaxing against me.
“Better?” I asked when I could feel the fullness of her weight on my arms.
“Yeah…” Bella lifted her head to look at me, she just stared for a moment with a sadness in her eyes. “I hit him.”
“I know baby, I wanted to do that and you beat me to it.”
She smiled looking down at her palm, “My hand hurts.”
Setting her down on her feet I took her hand making sure that she didn’t damage anything. After having her move all her fingers I placed a kiss in the center of her palm and then lifted her sleeve. Under the elbow there were a few red marks from the pressure of his fingers. That didn’t make me happy and I wanted to hunt James down but that was not in the cards. Touching the red marks the whiteness disappeared quickly telling me that they shouldn’t bruise, however I would be sure to check them again.
Turning around to the people at our tables they were all sitting there in stunned silence. It took about a half of second before Leah wrapped Bella up in a hug. “Holy Shit! I can’t believe you did that! I’m so proud of you for standing up to him!”
“I shouldn’t have hit him. He’s going to go home and take it out on Vickie.”
That’s the woman I love, she was assaulted, bruised, and disrespected and she is worried about someone else. Maybe that is because she has lived it so she can empathize or maybe it’s just because she has a genuine concern for her fellowman.
“Fuck Victoria Kohn! She stays with him that’s her problem,” Leah grinned. “I wished I would have had a video camera so I could see it again. CRACK!” the sound of her hands slapping together makes Bella flinch.
“Can we go please?” Bella looked up at me with pleading eyes.
“Yes, let’s go.”
Leah didn’t agree, “GO? Come on you need to have drink to celebrate…hell even I’m thinking about having one.”
Bella continued to look at me, “I need my purse.”
Emily brought it over for her and Sam, who had followed James outside, walked us out to the car. Once Bella was inside with her belt on, Sam squatted down in the open door. “Bella do you want me to call Mark, and report the violation?”
“I hit him Sam can’t he press charges on me?”
Sam shook his head, “He was in violation of the restraining order. He assaulted you first by grabbing your arm; you have a right to defend yourself.”
Bella thought about it for a few seconds, “What would happen to him?
“He would be booked, spend the night in jail until his bail hearing.”
“They would finger print him and take his DNA?” Bella asked and I knew that she wasn’t going to press changes.
“Yes, they will.”
The tears that weren’t there before came as she sobbed, “I can’t do that Sam.”
“Ok,” there was no disappointment in Sam’s voice; he knew the same as I did. He stood shutting the door then shook my hand, “You’re a good man Edward, take care of her.”
Getting in the car Bella sniffled wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because I won’t press charges.”
I sighed, “I understand that you are trying to protect Jacob.”
Bella shook her head, “That’s not it Edward, those charges were dropped they can’t be brought up again. I just…”
She stopped talking to take a deep breath, “I would have to tell everyone what happened. I can’t do it!” She wailed at the words, “I’m so horrible … I…let him walk around free…all because…I..can’t do it!”
Releasing the clasp on the seatbelt I held her to my chest shushing her while I stroked my hand through her hair. I continued to hold her until she calmed enough to stop crying. I knew what courage it took her to stand up to her own personal demon. Somehow Bella had found the strength within to accomplish what she deemed unattainable. Who knows, maybe as she digs deeper within herself she just might find enough fortitude to overcome the next impossible hurdle. In the meantime she needs to be proud of what she accomplished, not feel bad for what still scares her.
Taking her face in my hands to look in her eyes I spoke firmly, “Isabella, did you ever think that you would be able to stand there and face him like that?”
She shook her head in my hands.
“Speak please.”
“No Sir.”
“And yet you did it, so I say don’t worry about what you can’t do, rejoice in what you can. Do you remember your half full theory?”
She nodded, “Yes Sir.”
“Apply it now and be as proud of yourself as I am. Because baby, you did great.”
“Yeah?’
“Yeah,” I told her with a kiss that deepened before I could stop it. Then again I didn’t want to stop it. Bella moaned softly into my mouth making me realize that my own breathing was erratic and the windows were getting steamy. Pulling away from Bella’s lips is always a difficult thing to do; this time was even harder because I could feel her need. However due to where we were, getting carried away was out of the question, so reluctantly I backed off.
Starting the engine I followed her directions to get back into town. I was thinking about all that I had learned about Bella since coming to Forks. There was still one thing that had me baffled and my mind must have still been foggy from the lack of blood leaving it for lower pastures because I didn’t even think before asking what I wanted to know.
“Isabella why in god’s name did you go out with that asshole in the first place?"
EPOV
Since the moment we arrived in Forks I had wondered how in the world someone who was surrounded by so many people who loved her could have fallen prey to someone like James. Not that I’m ignorant of the fact that even women who have never been exposed to abuse or hardships in their childhood couldn’t find themselves in the same situation. There are all kinds of predators in the world leaving even the most self-assured person with strong family ties, vulnerable to their influence.
I had figured out the reason why no one helped her, she didn’t let them. Keeping all the terror and degradation to herself. Bella became a master magician at hiding all the misery from those who loved her, out of fear, shame or some warped sense of pride. She hid her scars behind half hearted smiles and isolation. Granted, I don’t know very much about the mental state of an abused woman, however since being with Bella, I have been given a crash course and, from what I can understand, that response is typical.
For all the issues that Bella has with her lack of confidence, she makes up for in stubbornness. That was evident the first time we had any play. That night on the couch when Leah and Jacob burst into the room, she had no instruction in control yet she refused to move her arms from where I placed them.
Pigheaded
In this cold cruel world we live in that trait can be very useful, it can also be twisted by someone who has ulterior motives and used as a weapon to exploit. That’s what James did. He preyed upon an innocent girl who had issues with herself and her surroundings and then took the one strength she had and utilized it against her.
I could see why Bella married so young, she was an outcast in a world of harmony. She lived in a small close knit community where everyone gathers around each other’s life achievements. They celebrate the good while gossiping about the bad. This is a world where generations of families subsist for the sole purpose of keeping their community intact. In doing that they shun the unfamiliar and that’s what Bella was.
She was a native, yet because she was removed from among everyone else Bella was all but forgotten. Her reemergence might have been a happier reunion had it not been for the circumstances. As a child who had just unexpectedly lost the one parent who she relied upon it would make sense that she would be standoffish. Had Bella arrived in the beginning of the school year or even a few months prior, perhaps things would have been different. She might have acclimated herself into the fold, made the normal alliances and become one with her environment.
Instead the school year ended and rather than place Bella where she would have been with other children from her class, her father sent her to the reservation with his friends to be cared for. I’m not second guessing that decision, even to me that seems like the best option; however it also enforced the divide between Bella and her classmates. She became even more of a pariah to those she went to school with. As she grew her natural instinct was to push them away to welcome in the people who she knew and who readily accepted her.
There would have been nothing wrong with that had Bella truly been completely accepted by those whom she associated with. To the outward eye she had been, Billy called her his own, Sue treats her like a daughter and everyone else at La Push thinks of her as belonging. However, even by her own admission there is a missing piece that keeps Bella at arm’s length; creating a chasm that could not be breached or overlooked.
The one time she violated the unseen gap turned into a disaster. She trusted that boy more than she would have trusted anyone who she had attended school with, making his betrayal a harsher sting. Jared- who I had yet to meet- did what every young boy does, exaggerated his conquest by bragging to his friends. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this was also the time when Bella realized that she was HO-quaht , and therefore unworthy of the boy she was infatuated with. It’s not the boys fault, but something tells me that the events surrounding that summer did more to throw Bella openly into the arms of James than anything else.
Sue had commented that she knew something happened but she never inquired about any specifics from Bella. Even when she realized that Bella no longer spent time with Jared, showing that whatever happened must have been rather devastating. I don’t know that Bella would have opened up to Sue about the circumstance behind the breakup, but at least it would have told Bella that someone cared enough to have noticed her grief.
The worst part about the whole thing was Charlie’s reaction. I can’t blame him for the way he responded, no father wants to hear the words ‘daughter and condoms’ used in the same sentence. However, the incident occurred ten years ago and rather than take in the information with an open mind he lashed out in accusation.
Bella who was the victim was forced to defend herself, which that alone spoke volumes as to their father-daughter relationship. For all intents and purposes Bella was a parent’s wet dream. She cooked, cleaned, worked, got good grades, and behaved in public so what more could a father have asked for? Charlie is the kind of man who shelters his emotions, limiting outward signs of affection and with his simple body language discourages open communication.
Bella had once told me that she would not have forced Charlie to hear all the details about what occurred between her and James. At the time I didn’t understand why not. Charlie was a cop; he sees people at their very worst; surely for the sake of his daughter’s wellbeing he would have stepped up to the plate and given her the support she needed. After having witnessed their interaction I can see that Bella was right, I don’t think he could handle it in the supportive manner that would be required.
My fear is that at hearing the details his natural inclination would be to lash out at Bella. To inadvertently place blame, by making her feel ashamed, guilty, or humiliated about something she had no control over. Just as he had done upon learning of Jared’s mild transgression, how much more appalled would Charlie be to learn why she had no bathtub? Besides I don’t like to hear the details I could not imagine the anger and pain it would cause Charlie, especially since he can’t do anything about it.
Sitting in the small living room waiting for Bella to come back from the kitchen with her father, my eyes once again moved to the photos on the mantle. It was as if her life was written in pictures across the wooden surface. From her birth to a toothless girl in pigtails with a happy face and a mischievous glint in her eyes, Bella was happy. Then it appeared that the gleam was gone, replaced with the dullness of a girl with shallow cheeks and short brown hair. The teenage years took on a look of resignation, the feeble smile plastered to her face to hide the isolation.
Perhaps it was symbolic that the last photo was her wedding day. I found it odd that should be included in the collection. Maybe it was placed there all those years ago and never removed, or perhaps Charlie keeps it because it was the last day she was his little girl. Whatever the reason, my thoughts remained the same as when I held it in my hand.
The young girl staring back from behind the veil had a face of innocent youth with eyes of ancient solitude. Bella wanted what everyone wants, someone who she could rely on to be there for her completely, unconditionally and without any hesitation.
Irrational as it may be the other thing that went through my mind was a flash of jealousy at the thought of Bella walking down an isle towards another man. I squashed that feeling down as soon as I recognized it but the thought still remained. I don’t care how long ago it was or that we didn’t even know each other, the only person that I want her to find the happiness in life that she’s looking for is me.
Bella came out of the kitchen with a strange look on her face. Setting the two glasses of ice tea down on the table she took a hold of my hands. “Come on I’ll show you the rest of the house.”
Looking up into her eyes I tried to decipher what was the matter with her, and being unable to tell I stood letting her lead me to the stairs. Charlie came in from the kitchen with a small plate containing a piece of pie. Seeing us going upstairs he cleared his throat making Bella stop. “You see that those doors remain open, in fact, Leah why don’t go up with them and show Bella my new den?”
Leah didn’t respond but Bella groaned, “Dad.”
“UH…I’m not having any shenanigans going on.”
“What do you think we’re going to do up there?” Bella was appalled but I thought it was rather funny and had to work hard to suppress my laugh.
“Nothing with the door open and someone with you,” Charlie was unyielding and Leah rose to the appointment of chaperone. “I’ll go; I have to pee anyway and I want to see her reaction.”
“Ohhh… me too,” Seth followed his sister while Bella led the way upstairs.
The small square landing at the top of the stairs contained four open doors. Bella pointed to the left where Charlie and Sue’s room was along with the one bathroom. To the right was Seth’s room and then Bella pushed open the last door and nearly stumbled over her own feet as she stepped though the doorway.
“What the hell happened?” Bella’s voice was total astonishment while Seth laughed and Leah agreed with my assessment, “Hideous.”
“Oh my god Leah…our room,” Bella whined while taking in the sight before her.
It was an outdoorsman’s erotic dream come to life. Two lazy boy recliners faced the TV that sat angled in the corner in a black entertainment center. In the area between the two windows was a large gun cabinet with a smaller cabinet next to it containing fishing poles and gear. The wall themselves had some kind of shiny wood grain wallpaper covering them. For decorations there were all kinds of fishermen plaques with silly sayings ‘Fisherman hook the big ones’ and ‘Fisherman’s tales are bigger than their fronts.’ The most predominate things on the wall were Charlie’s mounted trophies, a large ten point buck and three gigantic fish.
“What is this stuff?” Bella asked touching the wall.
“Contact paper,” Leah said with a grin while Seth offered more information, “Wal-Mart was discontinuing it so Charlie bought it for fifty cents a roll,” his laughter broke on the last word and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Bella looked at me in astonishment, “This room used to be purple.”
“It still is,” Leah announced peeling back a small piece of the contact paper to reveal the purple paint underneath it. That was all it took for everyone to break out laughing while Seth pointed his finger up in the air, “Charlie wanted to go get more and do the ceiling.”
“Noooo?” Bella asked through her laugher as Seth held up his right hand, “I swear he did.”
“Where is all our stuff?”
“In the attic,” Seth answered Bella’s question while she looked around again.
“Well Edward, you are going to have to picture it.” Bella then went on to describe how the room used to be set up. After explaining that they had twinkle lights around the perimeter of the ceiling she looked back to me with a serious expression. “Honestly what did he think we were going to do in this room, there is a freaking Moose watching us.”
“Wait you haven’t seen the best part,” Seth walked over to open up the closet revealing an RC Cola soda machine. “Do you have a quarter?” he asked me holding out his hand in expectation.
Digging in my pocket I held out my hand with what was in there. Seth put the coin into the slot pressed the first square button bringing the machine to life. Bending over he pulled a can of beer out of the opening.
“Don’t drink that,” Charlie’s unexpected voice came from behind us while Seth assured him that he wouldn’t. Charlie looked to Bella with pure enjoyment on his face, “What do you think?”
“Umm…it’s you dad,” that was probably the nicest thing Bella could say.
The room was faux log cabin and definitely fit Charlie’s personality and I could tell he was proud of it. He looked to me for an opinion; I just smiled looking around the room and asked about the mounted fish. He launched into a tale of where he caught each one and even knew the dates and how long it took to reel them in. I had been deep sea fishing a few times and when I was little my grandfather Cullen use to take Emmett and I out in his boat on the lake. That was the extent of my fishing experience, but at least it gave us something in common to talk about. When I asked about the buck Charlie told me that he didn’t actually shoot that, he bought it at the same auction where he got the soda machine. He thought that it added to the authenticity of the lodge atmosphere he was trying to create.
“Alright Seth are you ready to go?” Charlie asked when we finished with our conversation.
“Yeah, just let me get something out of my room,” as Seth started walking out the door he turned to look at me and Bella. “Remind me that I want to ask you a favor.”
“You want me to remind you to ask me for a favor?” Seth looked at Bella with narrow eyes, “Yeah…” his eyes shifted to me. “Edward you’ll remind me, right?”
“I’ll try to remember.”
“Thanks,” he smiled.
Charlie shook his head while Bella asked if he knew what Seth wanted, “No clue Bells it could be anything.”
Seth was back in the doorway telling Charlie that he was ready to go. As Charlie was leaving he pushed the door all the way open giving Bella a pointed look, “That stays open.”
Bella told Seth that we would all yell loudly for him and the two of them left. Bella looked around the room again letting out a sigh. She still had a strange look on her face like something Charlie had said to her in the kitchen had upset her. Wrapping my arms around her shoulders I pulled her close to me.
“Did you have a nice talk with your dad?” I didn’t want to push but I didn’t want Bella to dwell on negative thoughts either.
She shrugged, “Yeah.”
That was it - Yeah?
Bella moved away from me to stand in front of the mirror that hung on the inside of the open closet door. She looked at herself for a second and then lifted her sweatshirt up off her head, turning sideways to look at herself again.
What the fuck is she doing?
Her hands rested on her stomach, slid down her hips and then rested on the fullness of her bottom. Shifting her eyes they met mine in the mirror where her whole face scrunched up. “Am I getting fat?”
“What?” I had no idea why she would think that.
“Charlie said I gained weight,” I couldn’t help but chuckle as my arms once again wrapped around her body while Bella continued to look repulsed.
“It’s not funny Edward!”
My eyes shot up in surprise at the outburst, while my tone took on a harsh edge. “Excuse me, was there a part about saying my name correctly you didn’t understand?”
“No Sir, your girl is sorry it’s just…”
I cut her off, “It’s just that your mouth spoke before your brain could stop it.”
Bella took the reprimand with lowered eyes; I however wanted her to understand what Charlie was talking about.
“Look in the mirror Isabella,” our gaze met. “You have gained weight,” her eyes narrowed and I went on to explain before she got the wrong idea, “but it’s a healthy weight. Your cheeks aren’t as shallow,” the back of my hand skimmed along her face. “Your breasts are fuller,” my hand skimmed down to cup the fullness. “Your bottom is a little rounder,” my other hand gave her cheek a squeeze. “Your eating habits have improved tremendously making you appear more fit than you were before. That is what Charlie was talking about, he meant it in a good way.”
“Then he should have said that,” her admission made me grin as my eyes looked around the –if I was being honest – gaudy room. “Somehow baby your father doesn’t strike me as being a very tactful man.”
Bella giggled trying to turn in my arms, however I had other things on my mind and I held her still while opening the top of her pants. My hand sneaked down between her skin and jeans to feel her wet heat. At the feeling of her body’s readiness my dick twitched making me grind myself against her while I praised her with a growl, “Good girl.”
Bella’s body responded to my light touch by relaxing against me with a soft whimper. At the sound of her delight, I pulled my hand back out patting the exposed skin of her stomach while speaking in her ear, “No shenanigans.”
“Ohhh,” Bella groaned while I chuckled at her dismay.
“Come on my pet, let’s go,” I added with a swat on her bottom just as Sue called her name from downstairs.
I went in to use the bathroom while Bella put her sweatshirt back on and went downstairs. I could hear the woman in the kitchen while I sat down with Jacob and Billy in the living room. Handing me a beer Jacob asked what I thought of the room and then laughed when I said that Charlie had achieved the look he was going for. We sat there for a few minutes talking about baseball until the conversation switched to the woman who Billy has been seeing. As I listened it became clear that Billy was not completely paralyzed, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with Jacob when Billy told us the reason he stopped dating the last woman.
“Don’t laugh boys I’m telling you that stuff is important,” As he said the words Seth came running up to me with his tail wagging and Bella following with his leash in her hand.
“What’s so funny?” Billy glanced over his shoulder at her then gave me a pointed look, “Well maybe it’s not as important for you.”
Bella eyed us waiting for an answer and I didn’t know what to tell her so I was more than happy when Sue and Leah joined us asking if we were ready to go. Leah needed to use the bathroom again, while Bella put Seth on his leash and Jacob asked if I would help him get Billy down the stairs. With everyone outside I held Bella’s hand while we walked the few blocks down to Main Street. It appeared that the whole town had turned out for the parade and a few more people either said hello or stared at Bella as we walked up the street to where the group from La Push seemed to have conjugated. Jacob opened up a chair for Leah while everyone said hello and the women hugged.
That was something I was still getting use to, all the female hugging. It’s not that it bothers me; I just find it to be one of those amusing things women did that I had never noticed before. I could see the draw if it had been a while since they had seen each other, that would make sense. But it appeared to me that women hug every time they join or part one another’s company. I suppose it is equated with a hand shake or a pat on the back but it still seemed strange.
Standing there in the slight drizzle of rain watching the interaction of friends I didn’t at all feel left out of the conversations. I stood behind Bella with my arm wrapped around her waist talking with the men while she carried on a chat with the women. It seemed natural to me that I should be in such a position talking about dog breeding and darts over the heads of the women. Every now and then one of girls would butt into our discussion with a question that had nothing to do with what we were talking about.
Like when Quil was explaining about the addition he is putting onto his house and the horror stories that the contractors were putting him through. That was interesting to me because the contractors were to be starting my bathroom the following week. He was just saying how he had ordered high efficiency windows and they installed regular double paned when Claire turned around to interrupt.
“Baby, who was that football player?”
Quil stopped talking to look at her just like the rest of us did, “Which one?”
“You know that one from Dancing with the Stars, he started dating his partner, bought her that expensive ring. What was his name?”
“Umm…LT, LaDainian Thomlinson.”
“Yeah…who did he play for?”
“The Jets,” Quil answered while Claire shook her head, “nooo, here on the west coast.”
“San Diego.”
Claire smiled at him, “That’s right San Diego, why can’t I remember that?” she asked herself turning back around to talk to the girls, “he was there.”
Quil shook his head with a smirk then went back to finishing his story, it was then I realized what a man in love looked like to an outsider. I had seen my brothers and father interact with their women, doting on them to the point of being indulgent. The respect that I always had for women was a learned trait from my parents, the coddling that I give Bella is pure love and I will indulge her as much as I damn well please no matter what I look like to someone else.
That thought caused my arm to squeeze her a little tighter to me making her look up and smile, “Everything ok?”
“Everything is perfect,” I told her before placing a chaste kiss on her lips when our lips parted I continued to stare into her deep brown eyes, “I love you.”
The most gorgeous blush broke out on her face as she asked coyly, “a whole bunch?”
“Bucket loads.”
Before I realized what Bella was doing she had spun around wrapped her arms around my neck and jumped up to bring her face level with mine. My arms automatically wrapped around her back to hold her to me as she spoke against my lips, “I love you.”
The moment was sealed with another kiss but nothing went too far because I was well aware of the fact that we were in a very public place with many eyes on us. I was just about to tell her to behave when a voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Hey sweet cheeks when you are done mauling Edward I have something for you.”
Fucking Emery and that damn nickname
Bella giggled as I patted her bottom before she let go of my neck sliding back down my body to stand on her feet. “I was not mauling Edward,” she held her hand out while I turned to face him and his family. “Can I have it?”
“No way,” he shook his head. “I’m not that easy, you have to come get it”
What the fuck is he talking about?
“No,” Bella didn’t sound very convincing.
“Come on sweet cheeks I dare you,” he taunted while his wife Kim giggled “Oh don’t do that.”
Bella shook her head and he grinned, “I double dare you.”
I was still confused at the exchange wondering what the hell he wanted Bella to do when she patted my chest took a step towards him and leaped up onto Emery’s chest wrapping her legs around his waist. Just as I had done his hands wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling while his face took on a look of shock, “Damn girl my wife is here.”
Bella didn’t seem to care about that as she patted around his chest like she was looking for something while demanding, “Where are they?”
I could feel the scowl growing on my face and the only thing that kept me from ripping her out of his arms was the laughter from Kim and Jacob’s hand on my shoulder. Emery must have seen my anger because he pushed her back off his body, but she wasn’t releasing the grip around his waist. “Jesus Christ Bella, Edward is going to punch me in the face.”
“Well you shouldn’t tease me!” she yelled while I assured him, “Edward is thinking about punching you.”
“Here take ‘um before you get me beat up,” Emery reached inside his jacket pulling out a white envelope giving it to Bella who was now thankfully standing on her own two feet.
“Thanks,” the glee in her voice was replaced with sarcasm as she elbowed him in the ribs, “You big oaf.”
I still had no idea what just happened, looking around at the people who had watched their expressions were a mixture of shock and amusement. Jacob patted my shoulder as he chuckled “Bells is back.”
Emery however was still as bewildered as I was, “Geez what happened to blushing sweet cheeks?”
“She’s on vacation,” Bella announced opening up the envelope. “What is all this stuff?”
Emery ignored her question as he stepped towards me holding his hand out, “Sorry dude, I wasn’t expecting to be jumped, Bella’s never done that before,” he added with a chuckle while Bella stepped up closer to me.
“Bella’s never done a lot of things before,” she spoke before I could say anything, looking up at me through her lashes with a blush on her face that made me grin and my dick twitch at the deviousness of her words.
My blood pressure had calmed down enough to finally shake his hand and Emery explained what Bella was holding, “These are the four tickets.”
Tickets?
My brain was still reeling as he spoke to Bella, “You asked me to get the best seats I could, that’s them. You’re going to have to put up with my brother and his friends but those are the concession you are just going to have to endure. That other ticket is VIP parking; I could only get you one of them. Oh and by the way don’t tell Charlie you have that or he’ll be pissed and start pulling me over every time I’m in town.”
“He would not,” Bella giggled.
“Yes he would,” Emery assured her before she asked, “So this pass is good the whole season?”
Season? What is holding in her hand?
“Yes and if you lose it I can’t replace it.”
“What do you have babe?” I was starting to get excited but until I knew for sure I was going to keep myself under control
“Season Tickets,” They both said at the same time, Emery like it should be obvious and Bella with pure excitement.
Taking the tickets from Bella I studied them, “These are VIP Booth tickets?”
I knew my statement sounded like a question and that was how Emery answered, “Yes and they include playoff games. And we are going to the playoffs this year.”
“Thanks,” it was all I could think to say.
“Oh don’t thank me, sweet cheeks just asked if I could supersede the waiting list. They are in Bella’s name so next year you just renew them.”
The sound of sirens could be heard telling us that the parade was starting and Emery told us he would talk to us later he wanted to get his family seated. As he moved to leave us alone I could feel Bella staring at me while I held onto the ticket. There was a look of concern on her face that I didn’t understand.
“Don’t you want them?”
“What?”
Bella spoke so fast I had to listen closely to what she was saying, “Emmett said that you have been on the list for a long time and that you had to wait until someone died so I called Emery and asked if he could help, I thought you would be happy.”
She thought I wasn’t happy?
“I’m sorry baby,” I told her putting the ticket from my hand back into the envelope with his brothers. “I’m just slightly shocked and torn between wanting to jump up and down like a five year old and taking you behind the building to show you my appreciation.”
“Oh,” she beamed at me stepping closer. Bella wrapped her arms around my back looking up at me with her chin resting against my chest she had the devious look back in her eyes. “I vote for the second one.”
Her words made me chuckle and I kissed her quickly as the noise from the sirens grew louder. Bella tucked the envelope containing the tickets into her purse then stood in front of me with my arm protectively wrapped around her waist, just as Charlie was in eyesight. Everyone waved at him as he turned the sirens on once again. As the marching band from the high school started playing my eyes scanned the crowded street, on the other side towards the end of the block was James. He was standing with a very tall redhead with wild curly hair and he was staring right at us.
The parade passed by quickly, each class from Forks high school had a float while the reservation only entered two. The rest of the parade was filled in with boy scout troops, daycare groups and one dance class and of course the graduating senior class. As the kids walked by people would yell out their names, Bella, Leah and Sue yelled out to Seth so loudly he rolled his eyes and blushed. As the last fire trucks went by everyone started gathering up their stuff to leave and we stood in a circle saying good-bye as the hugging commenced.
Once we got back to the house Billy left and the rest of us sat down waiting for Charlie to come back. Jacob came in from the kitchen with beer offering one to both Bella and me and sitting down he made an announcement. “Everyone is going to Casey’s.”
“What’s Casey’s?”
Bella looked at me, “It’s a bar.”
“It’s a pub,” Jacob clarified. “They have dollar draft happy hour and awesome food you should come.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Beside what am I going to do with Seth?”
“Everyone is meeting at four, you can leave Seth here with Sue and she’ll bring him tonight.”
Bella didn’t hesitate in responding, “Sue doesn’t want to keep him and besides I should stay and help her get ready.”
“Sue!” Jacob yelled towards to kitchen, “do you need Bella’s help?”
“No,” she was standing in the doorway. “You go have fun, I’ll keep Seth.” Jacob smiled at Bella as if he had just solved the mystery of life.
“I’m not dressed,” Bella came back with but Jacob stopped her. “It’s Casey’s, your fine and stop making excuses. Come on Bells it will be fun, live a little,” he smirked, “I dare you.”
I could see Bella was beginning to consider the idea and admittedly I didn’t know what was holding her back however it seemed Jacob did, “What are you afraid of?”
Bella stiffened, “I’m not afraid.”
He completely ignored her protest, “Yes you are or you would go.”
I didn’t like the way he was manipulating her. Granted I didn’t think that Bella should be fearful of attending something she wanted to do, but I wasn’t even sure that she desired to go. That was the first thing I needed to find out.
“Baby do you want to go?” her eyes roamed the room like she was searching for the answer written on the walls while she bit into her bottom lip. Cupping her chin to force her attention to me, I searched her eyes to see if I could find the answer but all I saw was indecision.
“Isabella it’s a simple yes or no question. Don’t over think it and don’t feel pressured into it either. Do you want to go?”
“Is Leah going?” She tried to turn her head to ask Jacob but I held it firmly keeping her attention on me.
“I didn’t ask about Leah, I ask you Isabella. Do you want to go?” Punctuating each word so she would understand.
Her head nodded in my hand, “Yes.”
With her answer I smiled adding a playful wink. It was a simple thing as far as obedience goes yet I wanted her to know that I was proud of her. Kissing her forehead I whispered against her skin, “Good girl.”
Looking back towards Jacob he was watching us with a curious expression. I couldn’t tell if it was one of awe or aversion and to be honest it didn’t matter to me. I needed Bella to be focused on her own needs not those around her.
Charlie came in a few minutes before we left, happy that everything was back to normal in the town and glad that Bella was joining her friends. Although I found that odd that he was so concerned about her going to bars in Seattle yet here it was encouraged.
We followed behind Jacob to Casey’s which was located on the outskirts of town and housed in a large green converted barn. Pulling into the half full parking lot Bella looked around at the cars and she physically relaxed into the seat.
“Are you sure?” I asked looking up at the building before turning to her, “we could go back to the house or you could show me another trail in the woods.”
She giggled, “pervert.”
“Always,” I answered with a grin as she got a resigned looked on her face. “No, let’s go in.”
As I opened my door Jacob and Leah were standing there waiting and he yelled for us to hurry up, then practically whined that we were taking too long as I opened Bella’s door. Leah watched us while Bella took my hand to step out of the car, “Edward can you teach Jake to do that?”
“I open the door for you,” he protested as we walked up the stairs to the front door.
“When?” she objected.
“I thought you prided yourself on being independent?” she rolled her eyes while opening the door to a blast of music while Jake smirked holding the door open with a wave of his hand, “After you my dear.”
“Screw you,” Leah grinned stepping inside while Jacob assured her, “I keep trying.”
I grinned at their exchange while Bella openly laughed.
The inside was rather dark and reminded me of one of the local bars from my college days with ‘Father Figure’ coming from the speakers. Signs and beer posters covered every spot on the wall that was not occupied with the twenty-five different sized flat screens that appeared to be broadcasting every sporting event available. The room seemed to be in an ‘L’ shape that mimicked the dark wooden bar. In the corner gathered around several tables Paul was sitting with Sam, Emily, Quil and Claire.
As we walked in the man behind the bar pointed his finger in warning, “Jake I don’t want no trouble here.”
Jacob held up his hand as he continued walking, “No trouble Case.”
Taking our place with the others Paul couldn’t wait to say something, “You beat somebody’s ass one time…”
Bella sighed looking uncomfortable at what was being said and Jacob leaned over to kiss the top of her head. It was an intimate exchange that told me how much the two of them shared and a small part of me was envious that she seemed to rely on him so much. The majority of me was glad that she had someone in those harsh years to turn to.
“What are you drinking babe Coke or Sprite?”
Leah thought about her husband’s question, “ummm…I think I’ll go with the hard stuff…ginger ale.”
“You got it,” he said turning to me, “beer?”
“I’ll get it,” he waved me off, “you get the next round, but you better watch it because my woman can drink a lot of ginger ale.”
Emery and Kim came in and the group seemed to settle into a round of various conversations of laugher. Kim asked Paul where his wife was and rather than be civil he told her that she was at home where she belonged.
Kim laughed as he continued with the macho comments about telling her that her place is at home with the kids. Leah however didn’t take it as easily, “I am sooo telling her you said that.”
“Go ahead she knows who wears the pants in the family,” he said taking a long drink from his glass.
“Oh my god, you are in so much trouble. Somebody give me their phone so I can record this shit, because Rach will never believe it.”
“Go ahead, I’m not afraid of her,” everyone laughed because it was clear that he was definitely worried as his face changed to a serious expression.
“No seriously Kim…she wanted to put the kids in for a nap and mom was busy so Rach had to stay with them.”
Leah laughed harder, “I’m still telling her.”
He shrugged, “She won’t believe you and besides if she makes me mad she won’t get the high hard one.” he cupped his balls, “and that would be torture for her,” making everyone laugh.
“Torture?” Claire questioned through her laugher, “Rachel probably pisses you off to keep you away from her.”
“Nahh…she knows where her loins are buttered,” the laughter grew except from Jacob who looked sick. “Hey that’s my sister!”
From the corner of my eye I could see someone approaching the group. He was Quileute, tall with a muscular build long black hair and five o’clock shadow. As everyone said their hello’s to Jared, Bella smiled. “I was wondering where you were.”
“Hey Bells…” he gave her a small hug, “…I had to work.”
Besides her family he was the only one who I heard call her Bells and he seemed rather friendly with the hug, but I overlooked it. Bella introduced us and I shook his hand more out of respect for her. Foolishly as it sounds I was pissed off at what occurred between them, it irritated me that he could have been so callous with her emotions. I knew he was just a kid at the time and I shouldn’t hold it against him, especially since it seemed obvious to me that Bella had excused his actions. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as forgiving and found it a whole lot easier to hold a grudge.
While the girls went in to use the bathroom Emery and I started talking about golf. He has a normal four-some that meets on Friday mornings however two of them are going to be gone for a few weeks. He had suggested that perhaps Emmett and I would be interested in joining them, that sounded great to me and I knew that Emmett would jump at the chance. We were just exchanging phone numbers when the women came back without Bella. I glanced over to see her standing by the bathroom talking to some guy.
“Who’s that?” I asked Jacob inclining my head in her direction.
“Joe. He’s irritatingly talkative but harmless. His parents live two doors down from Charlie,” as he finished talking Bella looked over at me giving me look that said – help me.
I chuckled and Jacob grinned, “fucking Bella, she’s too polite for her own good, I better go get her.”
“I got her,” chuckling again as I got to my feet. Joe had a pool stick in his hand blocking the pathway so Bella couldn’t make her escape. From what I heard of the conversation there was nothing inappropriate being said, Bella was just trapped.
“Baby your food is getting cold,” I told the blatant lie while holding my hand out. Taking it, she quickly introduced me and after saying ‘nice to meet you’ I guided her back to the group.
Once she sat back down Bella smiled at me, “Thanks I was stuck there.”
Leah rolled her eyes, “Why are you so nice to everyone?”
“I can’t be rude,” she told her sister who assured her, “Well I can.”
Of course Bella couldn’t be rude it’s part of her submissive nature to please people, to think of others and their feelings. It’s just part of what makes her so very special.
Just like at the parade the conversations split the women were chatting amongst themselves while the men were talking about baseball. Bella was leaning into my side singing along quietly to ‘Breath’ she got to the words:
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
Her head tilted slightly so the words were directly in my ear and I could feel the rush of air from her breath across my neck. My eyes looked down into hers bringing our faces so close together that our noses nearly touched. “What are you doing?”
“Singing,” her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips.
“I think you’re doing something else…” the innocent smile on her face made me grin, “…and I think you should try and behave yourself.”
Bella sighed dramatically, “I’ll try.”
“Succeed.”
She tilted her chin higher to reach closer to my ear whispering, “Will your girl get a reward?”
“Maybe,” at my answer Bella became animated sitting up quickly to press her chest against mine bringing our faces to an almost level plane.
“Yeah …do you promise?” The excitement in her voice and eyes was so cute it reminded me of a child on Christmas morning.
“How can I promise a maybe?” I asked her tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Ohhh…” she whined twisting further so more of her body was facing me making the arm around her shoulder drop down to her waist to hold her tighter. “So I have a fifty-fifty shot.”
“That sounds about right,” I didn’t understand the huge smile that lit up her face and Bella must have seen my confusion because she spoke slowly into my ear, “That means your girl is getting her reward.”
“And tell me how my girl figures that?” The words were spoken quietly against her ear but she immediately pulled back to look in my eyes with that same optimistic smile.
“Because this girl is a glass is half full kind of girl,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out making her giggle with me.
“Is that right?” I asked through my laugher while she nodded her head in absolute certainty as I told her, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see if you’re correct.”
“I am,” Bella was sure of herself as she kissed me softly then pulled back with a smug smile. “You watch, I’ll prove it.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” I told her as she sat back correctly in her chair with a confident grin.
When my attention came back to the rest of the people in our group I found that the conversation had ceased and it would appear that our exchange had become their focus. Other than the last few sentences, the words Bella and I spoke were soft enough and the music loud enough that no one would have heard us, so they were only reacting to what they saw. Most of the faces staring at us were pleasant, in fact they seemed pleased. The only one who didn’t seem to appreciate our exchange was Jared, and hey, fuck him. Even Leah was sort of smiling but it was Emily who spoke up.
“You guys are so cute,” once that was out in the open Paul had to chime in, “Yeah, it’s almost sickening.”
I glanced over at Bella to see her face was so red from the blush that I knew her cheeks must be in pain. The music had stopped playing so I gave Bella money telling her go pick out some more, hoping that she would relax. With her gone the conversation once again picked up and the only people who paid me any attention were Leah and Jared.
Leah was eyeing me with a curiousness in her gaze and a knowing smile on her face. I had nothing against Leah, she was only looking out for her sister and that was a trait I can admire. If it was going to take time for her to fully trust me I could wait, just so long as she is civil along the way. Jared’s narrow eyes were harder to read and of less importance to me.
Bella was standing at the jukebox picking out music and I wasn’t paying much attention, after all she was only about fifteen feet away and the place wasn’t that crowded. I didn’t hear anyone new come in however, the voice was unmistakable.
“Just fucking great. How long are you going to be here?”
“Shit,” Jacob muttered angrily while Paul mumbled, “there goes the party.”
I couldn’t be concerned with them because Bella was standing alone. I got to my feet so fast that the chair flew backwards however it wasn’t fast enough. Bella turned to move away from him and he grabbed her arm. “I’m talking to you bitch!”
“Let me go!”
“Get your hand off her!” James looked me in the eye, “Now!” I growled angrily because I was going to kill that motherfucker.
“Let Bella go,” it was Sam who was standing beside me with a voice of authority.
James huffed, shaking his head like he was disgusted with the whole situation. I didn’t want to grab him because he still had Bella’s arm, besides Sam had his arm out like he was blocking my approach. James smirked at me before shifting his eyes to Sam then dropped Bella’s arm as he spoke.
“So not fucking worth it, god damn cunt.”
I wanted to seize a hold of Bella to get her to safety then get her out of there without any more incidence, fate seemed to have a different agenda. The whole thing happened in slow motion I could see Bella’s hand drop from his grasp, then it started to move again. It came up with such force that James’s head actually moved sideways from the blow. I was so stunned that it didn’t register that Bella had slapped him until the ‘crack’ from the impact reached my ears.
“Don’t you ever touch me!” Bella screamed with furious anger.
“You fucking Bitch!” he screamed whether from pain or shock I don’t know.
The adrenaline in Bella’s system was wearing down because she was visibly shaking and the furiousness that she had just spoken with was gone as she called with a trembling voice, “Casey call Officer Mark and tell him that James is in violation of a PFA.”
James narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to intimidate; however as anxious as she was, my girl was not backing down and I think James knew it. My mind was torn between removing her and letting her have the moment of strength to stand her ground. I chose the latter hoping that she could feel my presence and let her gain whatever she needed from it.
“Well aren’t you the fucking brave one”
Bella didn’t say anything to him and she didn’t back down either. It seemed like an eternity that they stood there playing a bizarre game of chicken, waiting to see who would break first. Bella’s tenacity which James had used as weapon against her was now being turned against him, and it didn’t matter how scared she was, there was no way she was losing.
He spit on the floor at her feet, “I’m leaving smells like shit in here anyway.”
That motherfucker
I couldn’t think about the implication of James’s parting words because Bella was a shaking mess. Pulling her to me her hands gripped my shirt while I held her tightly, “Shhhh…it’s ok baby, you’re ok.”
I didn’t think Bella was crying and if she was it would have been in response to the hormone fluctuations because I didn’t think James actually hurt her. That was something I would have to check out once she settled down. She was still trembling so much that I lifted her up by her hips. Sensing what I was doing her arms moved around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist. Bella buried her face in my neck taking deep breaths, with each one I could feel her relaxing against me.
“Better?” I asked when I could feel the fullness of her weight on my arms.
“Yeah…” Bella lifted her head to look at me, she just stared for a moment with a sadness in her eyes. “I hit him.”
“I know baby, I wanted to do that and you beat me to it.”
She smiled looking down at her palm, “My hand hurts.”
Setting her down on her feet I took her hand making sure that she didn’t damage anything. After having her move all her fingers I placed a kiss in the center of her palm and then lifted her sleeve. Under the elbow there were a few red marks from the pressure of his fingers. That didn’t make me happy and I wanted to hunt James down but that was not in the cards. Touching the red marks the whiteness disappeared quickly telling me that they shouldn’t bruise, however I would be sure to check them again.
Turning around to the people at our tables they were all sitting there in stunned silence. It took about a half of second before Leah wrapped Bella up in a hug. “Holy Shit! I can’t believe you did that! I’m so proud of you for standing up to him!”
“I shouldn’t have hit him. He’s going to go home and take it out on Vickie.”
That’s the woman I love, she was assaulted, bruised, and disrespected and she is worried about someone else. Maybe that is because she has lived it so she can empathize or maybe it’s just because she has a genuine concern for her fellowman.
“Fuck Victoria Kohn! She stays with him that’s her problem,” Leah grinned. “I wished I would have had a video camera so I could see it again. CRACK!” the sound of her hands slapping together makes Bella flinch.
“Can we go please?” Bella looked up at me with pleading eyes.
“Yes, let’s go.”
Leah didn’t agree, “GO? Come on you need to have drink to celebrate…hell even I’m thinking about having one.”
Bella continued to look at me, “I need my purse.”
Emily brought it over for her and Sam, who had followed James outside, walked us out to the car. Once Bella was inside with her belt on, Sam squatted down in the open door. “Bella do you want me to call Mark, and report the violation?”
“I hit him Sam can’t he press charges on me?”
Sam shook his head, “He was in violation of the restraining order. He assaulted you first by grabbing your arm; you have a right to defend yourself.”
Bella thought about it for a few seconds, “What would happen to him?
“He would be booked, spend the night in jail until his bail hearing.”
“They would finger print him and take his DNA?” Bella asked and I knew that she wasn’t going to press changes.
“Yes, they will.”
The tears that weren’t there before came as she sobbed, “I can’t do that Sam.”
“Ok,” there was no disappointment in Sam’s voice; he knew the same as I did. He stood shutting the door then shook my hand, “You’re a good man Edward, take care of her.”
Getting in the car Bella sniffled wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because I won’t press charges.”
I sighed, “I understand that you are trying to protect Jacob.”
Bella shook her head, “That’s not it Edward, those charges were dropped they can’t be brought up again. I just…”
She stopped talking to take a deep breath, “I would have to tell everyone what happened. I can’t do it!” She wailed at the words, “I’m so horrible … I…let him walk around free…all because…I..can’t do it!”
Releasing the clasp on the seatbelt I held her to my chest shushing her while I stroked my hand through her hair. I continued to hold her until she calmed enough to stop crying. I knew what courage it took her to stand up to her own personal demon. Somehow Bella had found the strength within to accomplish what she deemed unattainable. Who knows, maybe as she digs deeper within herself she just might find enough fortitude to overcome the next impossible hurdle. In the meantime she needs to be proud of what she accomplished, not feel bad for what still scares her.
Taking her face in my hands to look in her eyes I spoke firmly, “Isabella, did you ever think that you would be able to stand there and face him like that?”
She shook her head in my hands.
“Speak please.”
“No Sir.”
“And yet you did it, so I say don’t worry about what you can’t do, rejoice in what you can. Do you remember your half full theory?”
She nodded, “Yes Sir.”
“Apply it now and be as proud of yourself as I am. Because baby, you did great.”
“Yeah?’
“Yeah,” I told her with a kiss that deepened before I could stop it. Then again I didn’t want to stop it. Bella moaned softly into my mouth making me realize that my own breathing was erratic and the windows were getting steamy. Pulling away from Bella’s lips is always a difficult thing to do; this time was even harder because I could feel her need. However due to where we were, getting carried away was out of the question, so reluctantly I backed off.
Starting the engine I followed her directions to get back into town. I was thinking about all that I had learned about Bella since coming to Forks. There was still one thing that had me baffled and my mind must have still been foggy from the lack of blood leaving it for lower pastures because I didn’t even think before asking what I wanted to know.
“Isabella why in god’s name did you go out with that asshole in the first place?"
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