Mine

Mine
A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing. ~ DominaBlue

4/29/12

Chapter 89


BPOV

Before Rose even said one word, I could tell that she was upset. At first I had thought that maybe something had happened the night before at the club. I had only gotten to see her for a few minutes and after we came back in from our trip to the car she and Emmett had already left. In a way if something had happened during the party, I didn’t want to know. It was selfish of me but the whole night had been wonderful and the morning so glorious that I didn’t want anything to spoil my mood.

That might sound rather cold however the weekend had been one event after the other that took me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. So much had happened in such a short time I was frayed and to top it all off my period was coming. I’m not one of those women who suffer from severe cramps or mood swings but I do get overly emotional, slightly nauseous and chocolate becomes its own food group.

My cycle kicking into gear was one of the reasons why I decided to take Edward up on the offer of ending our usual early. When he first mentioned it all I could think was ‘what did I do wrong’ and was glad to be sent into the shower to think. Under the hot water I realized Edward’s giving me the choice was simply that – a choice. It was not a judgmental move on his part, or a subliminal criticism over the events of the weekend.

Once my hormone driven mind got that clear it was easier to decide. We really only had a few hours left and would be surrounded by Edward’s family all day. I didn’t want to have to be on my best behavior or worried about what ever task he was going to implement. We were going to his parents’ house, Esme was accepting of our life but I knew damn well she wasn’t overjoyed with it.  The respect for a woman who I was coming to greatly admire helped me make my decision.

Besides for some reason the Cullen’s all seem to think pâté is some kind of eccentric French onion dip.    They scoop that shit up like ketchup on fries, smearing the brown foul smelling goo on crackers and pieces of toasted bread. It’s disgusting, and I knew damn well there would be a whole bowl full of the nasty stuff. That was my deciding factor the thing that tipped me over the fence. Because with my raging hormones there was no fucking way in hell I was going to be eating that stuff without puking.

Seeing Rose worried me a little bit as it appeared she was on the verge of breaking out in tears. Even though I really didn’t want to hear anything adverse I couldn’t just walk away from my friend who was in desperate need of comfort. Besides I’m a counselor, it’s what I do and I had to see if I couldn’t ease her stress.

The news of her lawyer calling was not what I was expecting to hear, not that I thought she wouldn’t be contacted, more that it happened sooner than anticipated.  Then again with the high profile news coverage of the crime along with the identity of the perpetrator it’s no wonder the District Attorney wasn’t wasting any time.

Rose was more than worried about what was going to happen and was scared beyond reason to go through the whole ordeal again. I assured her that someone from The Center would be available to go with her and that seemed to ease her mind a bit.  She had been treated so very wrongly in the past by not only the justice system that was there to protect her but also from her parents. And that was where the majority of her anxiety laid – with her parents – especially her mother.

Since Alderman Baldwin’s arrest Rose still had not spoken to her mother, telling me “I’m so damn angry Bella. If I even say ‘hello’ I know it’s going to turn into a big fight.”

“Don’t you think with all that happened your mom would be supportive?”

“If that was the case, why hasn’t she called me? She knows my number.”

While I mulled that over in my head Rose answered her own question “No Bella she’s not going to do anything that might interfere with her social agenda. And all this is going to do is remind everyone that her daughter’s tainted.”

“Don’t say that Rose. “ I admonished “It’s not your fault or your mothers for that matter. Everyone handles the stress differently…”

“Yeah, and my mother handled it by assuming I deserved to be gang-raped and then tossed me aside like a piece of trash. She left me all alone to fend for myself just so she could save her own reputation.”

I couldn’t imagine the pain Rose had experienced, my point of reference was vastly different. Where her parents had requested silence my father wanted answers. Yet Rose and I had the same response to their request– defiance. And we had both been living with the consequences of our refusal, oddly enough with the same repercussions of detaching ourselves from them. I understood Rose’s fear of pulling back the lid on something she had worked so very hard at containing. The anxiety made worse by the fact that it was not of her own choosing; instead being forced into it.   

I didn’t know what to say, her life had been traumatized by these men. One murdered, one in prison, and the others unless they are sociopaths, were left to carry the weight of their guilt like an albatross around their neck. With Marshall Baldwin being arrested I could only imagine their panic that they too might be implicated. That’s a hefty amount of contrition to have to carry for the rest of your life. And I would imagine that Rose’s mother had her own regret for the way things turned out.

Yet when all is said and done the victim – Rose - has turned out to be the most victorious in the whole situation. Through sheer will and determination, she did that on her own and should be proud not mournful. Rose needed to be reminded of all she gained, perhaps a bit of reverse psychology

“You’re right, it would have been better for your mother to smother you with attention. Keep you locked away in the house like some endangered species too fragile to be left on their own. I bet your mom would have been really good at that, playing the sanctimonious martyr so her friends could all see how much you needed her”

Rose’s eyes grew in shock at my words “She was the last person I needed; I didn’t want to be sheltered or protected, but a little bit of support would have been nice”

In for a penny –in for a pound

“Yeah, she could have held your hand while you kicked, screamed and cursed at your counselor. You would have stayed in Chicago where she helped you get over your aversion to cigarette smoke. And her greatest joy would have been accompanying you to group meetings, handing you folded Kleenex from her purse when you cried. That would have been really great; it sounds like she was the type of mother who did that stuff.”

Rose scoffed “My mother never gave a rat’s ass about me. The only time she ever acknowledged my presence was to tell me to leave her alone while she worked on some charity function.”

I sort of figured that was how it was

“So what did you want from her Rose? When push came to shove, the woman behaved like she always did.”

At Rose’s blank expression I figured I might as well finish it off, so she could get her thought process back on what matters, and that wasn’t her mother.

“Does it suck?” Her eyes gazed over with tears and I answered my own question “Yes it does. But her indifference at what happened to you was the same reaction you would have gotten in any other situation. It was because of a life time of her disinterest that you became the strong, determined woman standing here now. A woman who when faced with something so horrible was able to pick herself up and do what she had to do to. It was that fortitude that gave you courage to move on with your life and be happy. To find a man who you can build a good life with and raise children with more love and respect then you ever received.”

Her nose wrinkled in an attempt to ward off the tears “I thought you were going to take me into the corner and cry with me”

Through my own blurry eyes I assured her “I’ll cry with you Rose, I’ll hold your hand, I’ll even hand you folded tissues when you need me to. I’ll do anything I can for you, including giving you a good swift kick in the ass to keep you on track. What I won’t do is mourn a loss of something you never had. That gets you nowhere. It’s mentally exhausting and right now you need to be stronger then you have ever been, for Emmett, for the baby and more importantly for Rose.”

“Emmett” saying his name caused the ray of happiness to enter her eyes

“That man loves you Rose, all the unconditional love you want from your mother, you have with Emmett”

“I know” she admitted “the poor guy was so upset when the lawyer called…he lost his hard-on”

I don’t know if it was the words or the tone of sorrow she used but I burst out laughing while Rose looked slightly miffed and murmured “It’s not funny, Bella 

It really wasn’t funny, because I knew how upset Emmett must have been but I just couldn’t stop

“Ok…maybe it’s a little funny” she agreed laughing along  

The tension seemed to have disappeared and while we finished with our much needed moment of levity we hugged and I felt a little nudge against my belly. Gasping I pulled back to put my hand on her bulge, asking in wonder “Was that the baby?”

“Yeah…” she glowed “…he’s been moving around all day” she said placing her hand on the side of her belly.

Keeping my hand where it was I felt another nudge against the taunt skin, looking into her radiate eyes I reminder her “You’re not alone anymore”

She smiled broadly, nodding her head and before she could say anything Emmett interrupted “Are you two women done feeling up my son? Because my dad’s here”

Looking out at the water all I saw was rows of boats so I had no idea which one was Carlisle or when he had arrived.

“Are you going to return that to Jane?” Edward asked making me remember the book in my hand.

We all reached Aro’s car just as he was closing the trunk, after the brief hello’s I thanked Jane for the loan, telling her I enjoyed her choice and she was right ‘The Corset Diaries’ was a great beach read. Holding Edward’s hand we walked towards the docks and then down the pier to the slip where Carlisle was waiting.  He stood out of the misty rain under the small overhang of roof smiling warmly as the group approached.

The boat was much bigger then I was expecting, my father had a small fishing boat with four fold down seats and a hand operated motor on the back. The best amenity Charlie’s had to offer was two built in coolers, one for the fish and the other to keep his beer and sandwiches cold. This boat was more like a small house, all shiny white with dark blue edging and chrome railings. It wasn’t just a Sunday afternoon fishing vessel, the ‘Seaclusion’ – the name written across the back – was built for comfort and long relaxing trips at sea.

Like the other women Carlisle hugged me before holding my elbow as Edward took my hand to help me on board. Emmett sat in one of the captain’s chair and I assumed that we would be on the deck for the ride over to the island. Instead I was led past the glass enclosed helm, down the stairs and into the cabin.

I was right - built for comfort

Descending the half a dozen stairs brought us into the kitchen area, I suppose the proper name would be galley but this was a full kitchen complete with a built in dishwasher. Rich wooden cabinets shined to polished perfection complemented stainless steel appliances and black granite countertops. I was so in awe of the kitchen – which put the one in my home to shame – that I didn’t really appreciate the salon area until I was standing in it.

Despite the partition, the wooden cabinets from the galley continued to line the walls framing two portholes behind a large curved ivory colored leather sofa. Off white Ferber carpeting, recessed ceiling lights and blue accent pillows created a warm homey atmosphere. The central focus being a large flat screen TV mounted on the opposite wall. The area was so plush and inviting all I wanted to do was sit on the couch to see if it was as comfortable as it looked.

Edward was directing me towards the sofa when Carlisle spoke from behind us “Help yourselves to drinks in the refrigerator and Esme has a tray of fruit and cheese. I put some plates out but if you need anything else just ask Emmett or Edward.”

“I thought Emmett was going to pilot” Edward asked with a little too much complacency causing his father to roll his eyes “I’d rather arrive in one piece, thank you very much”

“Hey” Emmett called from the kitchen “I’m a good helmsmen, no one’s ever drown”  

“And they’re not going to today either, son” Carlisle was rather definite, making me and a few others chuckle among them Didyme who asked if Esme had gotten the bedrooms redone.  I didn’t pay attention to the answer because my mind was focused on the word bedrooms, as in there was more than one.

“How many bedrooms are there?”

“Two” Carlisle answered and Edward offered me a tour but his aunt stopped him “I’ll show her, I want to be nosy anyway”

Jane looked to Aro, removed her coat and came with us along with Rose who needed to use the bathroom. Moving through the cabin towards the front of the boat I admired Jane’s dress. Where the rest of us were in jeans or slacks she was wearing a light grey sweater dress that I just had to feel how soft it was and wondered “Is this cashmere?”

“Yes” she answered plainly “Master prefers his slave in a dress”  

Walking into the bedroom I tried to remember if I ever saw Jane in pants, that thought was put out of my mind at the beauty of the room we entered.

“Wow” Didyme took the word right out of my mouth.

The cherry built in bureaus and closets were one thing but the enormous circular platform bed situated in the middle of the room was spectacular. It was set in amongst the surrounding dressers that held framed pictures and other personal effects. The custom fit bedding in shades of gold, cream and black with soft fluffy accent pillows resting against the headboard reminded me of a five-star hotel. The curved tiered ceiling created a canopy effect complemented by flat angled sections mimicking sun rays.  It was simple elegance that with the three portholes casting natural light into the room, it became extraordinary.

“Esme did a great job…the bed use to be over here” Didyme gestured to the opposite wall “…do you remember Jane?”  

She nodded in agreement “Yes and these sideboards are so much nicer than those oak ones”

My mind was still taking in what was obviously the master suite “How often do they use this…” the two women looked at me and I clarified “…not the bed…the boat”

“They go out a lot; they stayed on it last night” Rose answered from beside me while Didyme added “The rocking of the waves does something to Esme that Carlisle likes”

Jane giggled and even though it was something I really didn’t want to know, my eyes fell on the plush bed and Rose voiced my thoughts “Ewweeeee”

Didyme laughed at Rose and without closing the door went into the bathroom which after seeing the rest of the décor I wasn’t surprised to find a full bath complete with a standalone shower and Jacuzzi tub. She looked around inside a few drawers and opened the medicine cabinet being slightly more nosey then I would have thought polite. Then again this was Esme’s sister-in-law and I could see Leah doing the same thing especially if she was looking for something.

Didyme sighed “Maybe she has some in the other bathroom”

“Or you could try the galley area” Jane responded and it dawned on me that Didyme was searching for something.

“What do you need?”

“Marcus dislocated his shoulder a few years ago and the dampness causes him pain. He has oxycodone with him but it makes him drowsy so he would rather have Advil. I’m sure Esme has some at the house”  

My broad smile turned into a fit of giggles “I have Advil”

Not sure what so funny the women looked at me like I was crazy and I explained how Edward was giving me a hassle about what I packed in the bag. Jane shook her head making the comment “that boy has a lot to learn” making us all laugh at how naïve my man was. Which if I was being honest with myself was more relieving than annoying. Edward might have been with lots of women in a sexual manner but he has never opened his heart or his life to anyone except me. 

Our progression towards the other bedroom in the rear of the boat stopped in the main cabin. Aro and Marcus were talking on the couch while Emmett came in from the kitchen with a plate of snacks and Edward followed holding two bottles of water.

“I got you a drink babe”

“Thanks, but could you do me a favor and give your Uncle Marcus the Advil” His face fell and beside me the women snickered when I patted his chest and added smugly “He needs them”

And then I too was rather gitty, breaking out into a giggle at his reply “You’re shitting me”

As I was shaking my head saying ‘Nope’ Marcus broke in “You have some Advil Bella?”

“Yeah we got Advil” he said dejectedly and I just couldn’t help but rub it in.

“Always be prepared, that’s my motto” it was condescending of me and as I went with the other women Edward was picking up the tote bag grumbling something about ‘damn Advil’ and ‘eagle scout’.

The guest room was decorated in the same way as the master, except with a full size bed instead of king and there were no windows. Instead a circular skylight above it allowed the natural light to filter in making the bed look warm and inviting. Unlike even considering the possibility of trying out the other bed – because that’s gross – we took turns coupling up to see how comfortable the mattress was.

“I think that would be annoying at six in the morning” I said lying next to Jane and staring into the muted light coming in through the domed glass above us.

“Think of the early morning nooky you could have” Didyme laughed at her own comment while Rose added “I’d rather sleep”

We laughed some more and Rose flipped the light switch on the wall causing a screen to close over the window, casting the room in muted darkness. It was impressive not just the privacy screen but the whole boat which had to be moving yet was as steady as if it was standing still. Righting the room to the same way we found it we went back out to meet with the men. We walked in on them all laughing with Edward looking rather flushed as if he was the brunt of the joke.

“What’s so funny?” Didyme asked and I sat down next to Edward accepting the water bottle he had gotten for me.

“Edward” Emmett announced and looking towards him he gave me a sly grin

“Apparently packing everything along with the kitchen sink is a female trait I wasn’t aware of. So I’m sorry and I’ll never question your Eagle Scout ways ever again” a wicked gleam came to his eyes “Should I get on my knees like before?”

“No…” I said with indifference “…you can just worship my splendor from afar”

Leaning in close to me Edward growled in my ear “How far” making chills run down my spine.

My body tensed from the sensation and I giggled “Maybe not far at all…in fact” my eyes went to his “…I decided I’d rather have close up worship”

His eyes sparkled with what I could only hope to be the same thing I was thinking of – my Sunday morning cock worship.

Holding my gaze Edward chuckled darkly “Whatever you say, nâhtötse”

Accepting a kiss, I had almost forgotten we weren’t alone until Marcus asked “What the hell does that mean…na-toss-a?”

Emmett chuckled “Little Bella is not only schooling our Eddie here on girly stuff she’s also teaching him a new language”

Putting his arm around my shoulder Edward relaxed back with me settled against his side while his uncle asked again “Alright then tell me what language it is and what does it mean?”

My eyes went around the room at everyone staring at us waiting, this was Edward’s family, he could answer “It’s Quileute and literally translated means my pet

Emmett laughed again “That’s not what you told mom”

“Yeah well, mom doesn’t need to know does she?”

“It’s probably best that she doesn’t” Aro agreed giving us a smile just as Carlisle’s voice came through the intercom “Ahoy down there, we’re docking”

While we were gathering everything up I asked Edward what kind of boat this was, I knew enough about them to know that there were different classes.

“The Seaclusion is a Motoryacht”

“It’s very nice”

“Wait until you see Aro’s” As soon as he said the words a small frown formed on his face, but he caught it quickly and was once again smiling “Let’s go”

Confused as to what just happened I took a quick look around making sure nothing was left behind then followed him back up the stairs to the deck. Carlisle was pulling us into the boat house and Emmett used the ropes to secure the yacht safely to the dock. Exiting the boat we made our way up the planked walkway towards Jasper’s waiting Escalade that would take us to the house whenI heard my name being called.

“Bella!” turning to the familiar voice Carlisle chuckled “Oh I forgot, someone wants to see you”

Peggy was running down the stairs of the home she shared over the Tanner’s boathouse.  I hadn’t seen her since she had left the center to move in with the two other girls and from the smile on her face it appeared like she was adjusting just fine. Meeting her halfway between the properties she practically strangled me in the hug.

“How are you?” I asked taking a small step back to get a good look at her.

“I’m great...I really like living here”

“Good…and your job?”

She was working as a cook in Garrets restaurant, the only time he had mentioned Peggy was before I left on vacation. At the club he gave me two donated gift-certificates to be auctioned off at the walk-a-thon. At the time he hadn’t said or even suggested that here was a problem but that had been several weeks ago and I had been away.  

She smiled broadly “That’s great too…in fact I work tonight and if you weren’t off jet setting around the world.”

Laughing at the sarcasm I put on my best snotty attitude “Well you know how us socialites are, we can’t be bothered with the little people” then laughed along with her for a moment before getting serious again. “Really though, I’ll be back tomorrow, call me so we can talk and set up an appointment”

She shook her head “No can do”

“Peggy you need to…” she cut me off “I’m already coming in on Wednesday with Doctor C, I have a meeting with you and then Julie to file some paperwork”

Julie was in charge of legal arrangements; she filed restraining orders, custody papers and set up volunteers to attend court hearings with the girls so they didn’t have to go alone. In my mind I was thinking about Rose, if Julie was already going to be there Wednesday maybe she would have some time to speak with her.

As that thought registered another came to me, if Peggy needed to file paperwork I worried “has something happened?”

Peggy’s face lost a bit of the happiness she had “Rick contacted me”

“As in he came to see you?”

“No…” she shook her head “…Somehow he got my number and he called me saying…”

My eyes narrowed “saying what?”

Peggy’s shrug “Same old shit, I miss you…I’m sorry baby…I ‘ve changed…I won’t do it again”

God I wished I had a dime for every time an abuser said those words.

It’s the standard reply to their actions and a way of manipulating the victim into feeling sorry for them. Playing on the woman’s sympathy and desire to have a loving, meaningful relationship with the man she is physically and emotionally connected to. He sounds remorseful with promises of a happy life when in actually it is his fear of rejection making me say those things. Abusive men are psychologically incapable of leaving a relationship; they are tremendously dependent upon their partner.

By trying to convince her and himself, that everything will be better it is his way of proving that he cares. Supporting his claims that he has done everything he could for her and that she actually means something to him. If she believes him the cycle of abuse will continue. If the victim leaves the abuser will generally blame his inability to control his anger on her. Seeking out friends and family members for empathy about the ‘mean nasty bitch’ who left him until the abuser believes he is the injured party.

That’s the point where the abuser decides that he no longer has any control over the victim. She shows her strength, her determination and her fortitude to live without him. The danger level increases with his paranoia turning him from an abuser to a murderer.

It was with that knowledge my own level of fear rose “When did he call you…and where were you?”

“Thursday night…I was actually in the city with the girls”

Hearing that I let a sigh of relief, I personally didn’t know how to go about tracing a cell number but I knew it was a fairly simple process to someone with the right technology.

Peggy’s next statement brought my defcon level from orange to yellow “I didn’t use the phone the rest of the night and contacted Carol first thing Friday morning to have the number changed”

“And you haven’t seen Rick or any of his friends…” she shook her head

“…his family…” her head continued moving from side to side until I asked “co-workers…no one?”

“No one Bella”

Biting my lip I was suddenly overcome with a bunch of questions; who did she give the number to? Who has she been in contact with? Is she taking extra precautions? Does she feel safe? They kept popping into my head quicker than my mouth moved.

Before I could ask any of them Peggy was hugging me again “I just wanted to say hi, because I missed you but I have to get ready for work and Garrett can be a real slave driver sometimes”

If she only knew

The grin on my face remained as I walked to the car where everyone was already seated and Edward waited outside the open door looking all yummy with his wet hair from the misty rain. His eyes narrowed as I approached “Everything alright?”

Perhaps my smile from the wayward thought about Garrett wasn’t as pronounced as I assumed. Forcing my concerns back I answered “Everything’s fine”

Just as Edward was helping me to climb into the car Peggy yelled from the deck at the top of the stairs “Oh Bella…Welcome back!”

“Thanks” I answered with a wave before stepping out of the rain with Edward following.

This was only the second time I’ve been to Edward’s parents’ house and it was just as breathtakingly magnificent as the first time I seen it. Rather than stopping in the front Carlisle pulled the car to a stop around the side of the house. Filing out everyone gathered their stuff and headed through the door into a large mudroom that contained built in benches and divided cubicles. Everyone picked a spot, hung up their coats and slipped off their shoes. Edward left my tote bag on the bench with everyone else’s, and before we could join the other’s Carlisle asked to speak with me.  

When we were alone he took on a fatherly quality “Don’t worry about Peggy, she’s going to be fine”

“You knew?” I was rather irate

Why didn’t he tell me?

Carlisle’s face turned stern and for a moment he reminded me of Edward “I did, but it wasn’t my place to tell you and besides, as far as I knew you were still on vacation…”

“Yeah but…”

“But what?”

Yup exactly like Edward  

“What were you going to do Bella? How was your knowledge of the situation going to change anything?”

Well when he put it like that

“I can understand your concern and believe me when I say ‘I share it’ but every precaution had been taken to see that Peggy is safe.”

Grasping at straws I had a bright idea “Maybe she should come back to The Center”

“Did Peggy say that’s what she wanted?”

Carlisle’s question brought me up short, because she hadn’t even suggested going back. In fact she hadn’t even seemed worried; grudgingly I had to admit “No”

“Carol offered her the choice of going back and Peggy declined. You did a good job in helping her to be the strong woman she is. Like any child Bella, you raise them the best you can, send them out in the world, hope they make the right choices for themself…” he emphasized so I would remember it was Peggy’s life not mine

“…and pray to God they stay safe.”  

That was my biggest fear Peggy’s safety, I knew the statistics, I knew the rationality of an abusers mind, I lived through the aftermath of what happens when a man feels the power slipping from his hands. And it scared the shit out me.

Tears filled my eyes and I sniffled at the realization “I can’t do anything to stop him”

I couldn’t avoid what happened to me, how was I going to prevent it from happening to someone else?

Handing me a linen hankie from his back pants pocket, Carlisle gave we a look of resignation “You can only be responsible for your actions Bella. Everyone else has their own decisions to make and there is nothing you can do about it. Locking Peggy away just to try to avert something that might happen is not in her best interest; she knows that and deep down so do you”

Using the soft white cloth to wipe my eyes I had to admit “You’re right”

“I usually am” he said with a pompous smile making me giggle “Now you sound like Edward”

“Like father like son”

Great

Refusing to take back the hankie he told me keep it just in case I need it later, Carlisle was so nice in his fatherly understanding way I felt the need to explain my tears. “Sorry I’m a little hormonal today”

After all he was a doctor he would understand, however I was shocked at his admittance “I know”

My questioning look must have been enough for him to explain “The walls on the boat are thin, and they were all teasing Edward”

Oh

It didn’t bother me but then I realized that he would have heard the real meaning of nâhtötse instead of the washed down version Edward had told his mother. However Carlisle didn’t mention it so I did what I usually do when faced with something I would rather not think about, lock it away into the back of my mind as a passing thought.

I did however need to say something and all I could think of was “Thank you”

“Anytime Bella, I told you before my sons a lucky man to have you in his life and that goes for the rest of us. We all see you as part of our family”

My emotions must have really been on overload because I could feel the tears returning. In an attempt to hide them I hugged Carlisle “Thank you for that too”

“No dear, thank you” he said placing a gentle kiss on my head and from behind I heard the clearing of a throat. 

I wasn’t sure how long Edward had been standing there or what part of our conversation he had overheard, one thing was for sure he didn’t look too amused as he asked “Is everything alright?”

“Just fine son”

Edward’s eyes remained on mine as his father gave my arm a small squeeze before stepping away with a final word “Don’t worry, or you’ll get grey hair.”

I snickered “Is that your medical opinion?”   

“That’s a known fact” he said over his shoulder as he walked by Edward patting his arm.

Carlisle was different then Charlie and I wondered if my father’s awkwardness towards me was a trait of nature or nurture. It seemed so effortless for Carlisle to express his emotions and concerns, almost to the point where if I didn’t know any better I would swear that was how all fathers behaved. But I did know better, my father was never one to initiate a conversation. He certainly wouldn’t have done what Carlisle just did, insinuate himself into a situation where I might become emotional. I suppose I could blame my father’s indifference on my own behavior. But from the first day I went to live in Forks after my mother’s death, Charlie left me to cope on my own. Somehow I got the feeling Carlisle never would have allowed that distanced to settle in in the first place.

That doesn’t mean Edward’s father is better than mine, he just had a mannerism about him that exuded ease and comfort. Perhaps that’s from years of being in the medical profession but I sort of knew that wasn’t true, the compassion was a built in quality. I began to wonder if Carlisle was my father would I have been so closed mouth about what was happening in my marriage. Even after so many years, speaking of the incidents of abuse that continued to keep me in a dome of shame with Charlie seems an improbability.  He would never understand the things that were done to me or how being in that situation made me feel. My mind went to Rose and what she had said about her own mother, how she was afraid that a simple hello would end in a fight.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if I told Charlie about the smallest brutality that was infected on me, it would end in a confrontation. He would be yelling accusations and I would end up falling deeper into despair from having to defend myself. Not that Charlie would mean to cause me more humiliation he just wouldn’t know how to handle his own grief, and would lash out at the person causing his confusion.

Rose and I shared that commonality; we also had something else to bond us. Rose mourned the unconditional love she should have gotten from her mother. And after speaking with Carlisle I found myself mourning the open compassion I didn’t get from my father. Using my own words I reminded myself to not mourn something I never had. There was no sense in being angry with Charlie about something he had no control over. However just as Rose could be joyful Emmett gave her the unconditional love she craved. I could be content knowing that Carlisle cared enough about me to make sure I was ok, even at the risk of riling his son.

And he did look annoyed “Hi”

My choice of simplicity didn’t exactly ease his expression as the glare became more pronounced “Hi? That’s all I get? Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on”

What did he think I was doing with his father?

“BullShit!”

His seething tone made my own ire rise and I sighed in frustration.

Edward’s eyes narrowed to small slits as a low growl rumbled from his chest and I couldn’t help but giggle as I was so glad we ended our usual early or I would have been standing in a corner.

“I’m glad you can see the humor in the situation; you’ve been visibly upset ever since you talked with that girl. Then I come in here to fine you being comforted by my father and I want to know why”

His protective tendencies were usually a welcomed benefit however when it came to my job there were just something’s I couldn’t disclose. “You’re right Edward it’s not a joke, because you’re asking me to divulge information and I have a duty to keep confidential”

“But not with my father”

The accusation no matter how truthful was still was still tactless “Yes Edward, in this instance not with your father because he is bound to the same discretion as I am”

He considered that for a moment before speaking in that mater-of-fact tone of his. “So this has to do with someone or something from The Center, and that girl was the one who you had moved from there?”

Staring at him I debated how much I could say and decided that I could acknowledge at least that much. “Yes…” in order to ease his mind and avoid an unnecessary argument I gave more information “…I was a little worried because something happened to compromise her safety and Carlisle was talking some reason into me” 

His own anger dissipated as his hand cupped my face. Out of instinct my head tilted into his touch “I’m sorry baby, I just hate to see you upset and not know why or be able to do anything about it”

“I know…” I said placing my hand over his “…but this is my job Edward, you can’t interfere…”

The next second I was wrapped in his arms and he let out a deep breath “I don’t want to interfere with your work Bella. All I ask is that you share what information you can, so I don’t worry”

I nodded against his chest in agreement and he kissed the top of my head adding “Or I’ll get grey hair”

Looking up into his eyes I smiled and ran my hand through the mop on his head that always looked like he had just stepped away from a good romp in the hay. “You would be pretty damn handsome all salt and peppered… like Aro”

Mock aggravate colored his face “First my father’s handsome, now my uncle…I’m going to have to lock you away”

I giggled “I like that idea”

Some thought crossed his mind as he stared at me for a brief moment and just like when he said something about Aro’s boat, it was gone again. “I love you nâhtötse, and I will try my hardest to not be an overbearing ass”

“I love you too…and that’s all I’m asking for”

“Come on, my mother is waiting for us”

Going into the kitchen was like walking into a cocktail party, people were everywhere, getting drinks, helping with food preparations, chatting and laughing. Esme was indeed waiting; she hugged me tightly, followed by Alice, while Jasper just gave me a ‘Hey Bella’ with a wave as a greeting. They had come over to Bainbridge earlier on the ferry to attend church and visit with Jasper’s parents. Neither of the kids were around so I assumed it must be nap time, at least for Mia. Vincent was too much of a little man to actually sleep but I knew that Alice insisted he have what she called ‘quiet time’. That basically consisted of lying on the couch in a darkened room while watching a DVD for an hour or so.

There were so many people clustered around that even in the large kitchen there was a feeling of claustrophobia. Esme must have been feeling it too because she started shooing the men out “There’s snacks set up in the other room, get your drinks and get the hell out of my kitchen or I’m going to put you to work.”

The mention of food was all it took for Emmett and Jasper to leave. Aro finished getting himself a glass a wine and Edward asked if I wanted one. Just as I was about to say yes Alice stopped me with the promise of Orange Push Up’s.  Edward kissed my cheek and he left with the rest of men leaving us six women alone. 

Esme let a long breath “Now I can breathe, where’s my glass Didy?”

All it took was Jane’s question “What do you need done Esme?” and we were all put to work.

We all stood around the large center island working on food preparations, Rose and I peeled potatoes while Jane was chopping vegetables for the salad and Alice Kept us all supplied in drinks. After the second round she went to check on the kids and Didyme started arguing with Esme about the ingredients for the sauce.

“No Esme you have to use real butter”

“Low fat Margarine works just fine”

“No…Jane come make this”

“I can do it Didy” Esme said taking the wooden spoon out her hand.

“Es, Jane can make Hollandaise in her sleep, let her do it. Besides if I’m going to ruin my diet, I want to do it toughly not with some low fat bullshit”

“I have to watch out for Carlisle heart”

“There’s nothing wrong with his heart, let the man have some butter”

“Fine…” Esme moved so Jane could take over and Didyme gave Esme an appraising look. “What’s the matter with you anyway? You didn’t have a good ride on the boat last night?”

Esme looked over her shoulder at Rose and I who were just finishing up and pretending not to be listening. “Didyme…” Esme admonished her sister-in-law while Jane who was whisking away at the pot added “The staterooms are beautiful Esme”

“I was worried a little because the contractor kept tell me there was no way to fit a king size bed in there. All the man had to do was read the blueprints and it worked out fine, I was happy with it”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Didyme said giving us a wink as she picked up the pot we filled with potatoes. “…now answer my question, how did the tapping work out?”

Tapping” Rose quietly murmured to me and I shrugged in ignorance.

“Didy I’m not going to talk about this in front of the children”

Esme’s excuse wasn’t going to deter Didyme “Oh come on they aren’t children besides that trick might come in handy for them one day…don’t you want your sons to be happy?”

Rose and I stayed quiet until Jane announced she was done and Esme got her a glass bowl out of the cabinet while Didyme came back to the island to refill their glasses. Picking up the bottle of wine she looked across the counter at us “You won’t have to worry about it for a long time, but about the time a man reaches his late forties early fifties, his stiffy isn’t as solid.”

Oh My God

I could feel the blush heat up my face and quickly took a drink while Rose just had to ask “Isn’t that what Viagra’s for”

Didyme got a look of pure consideration as her face “Yes but it can take up to thirty minutes before the full effect kicks in and let’s face it…” she held a glass “sometimes you just can’t wait that long…you need that baby working …Now

“So…” She handed Jane the glass before picking up her own “….you just give it a little tap”

“Tap?” both Rose and I asked in unison

“Yes…tap” demonstrating on the stem of the glass she explained “Right at the base, you use your finger in a flicking motion…real fast…”

“And that works?” Rose wondered

Nodding her head wasn’t good enough she needed conformation “Did it work Es?”

“I’m not answering you” Esme said sliding the sauce Jane had made into the warmer making Didyme laugh “Either it did work and you don’t want to admit it or it didn’t and your frustrated …which is it?”

“I’m not frustrated…I’m tired”

Didyme laughed “Then it worked!”

“Tapping uh?” Rose mused while I looked to Jane for conformation, she took a drink shaking her head “Haven’t had the need to try it”

“You will…” Didyme assured her “…it’s all a matter of time” before she continued to explain “Just don’t do it too hard…but I’ll tell you it works better than a cock ring”

“Didyme!” Esme chastised but she just laughed “What? They’ve heard the work cock before and I’m going to guess they know exactly what to do with one too”

Jane giggled at her sister-in-laws brazenness and Esme took the glass from her hand “That’s it no more wine for you”

“That’s good I want one of those orange things anyway” She said going to the freezer to get more ice “Bella you want another one?”

“Sure…but I have to eat something” I hadn’t had anything since breakfast and the effect from the alcohol was beginning to sneak up on me. 

Rose came with me to get some food which Esme had set up on warming trays in the Sun Room. The sound of the men’s talking quieted a bit as we entered but started right back up when Marcus asked Emmett about the upcoming season of the team he coached. The food was an assortment of hors d'oeuvre, stuffed mushrooms, chicken skewers and cold shrimp, plus an array of cheeses with fresh fruit and a hot crap dip. I got a plate with of mixture of food – skipping the dreaded pâté – and sat with Rose on the wicker settee across from Edward. As I settled the plate on my lap I covered my mouth to stifle the yawn.

“Tired baby?”

“Little bit” I said through another yawn while Rose asked how late we stayed at the party and I told her honestly “I don’t know” while Edward added “It was close to three”  

“No…” Marcus interjected “You left before we did” My eyes went to Marcus then to Edward who had the same expression I did as his uncle went on “You were on the dance floor, then Didy and I went to say good-night but someone said you had already left.”

My eyes dropped from Edward’s to the plate on my lap as the heat in my face must have turned my cheeks red and Emmett laughed “They didn’t leave…”

Oh please…oh please…shut the fuck up

He laughed some more “Didn’t you see how steamy the car windows were? All you had to do was knock on the door and you could have said good-bye”

One day…I’m going to kill him

To make it worse my good friend Rose sat along me snickering, leaning over she whispered “Did you have to tap it to make it work?”

I burst out laughing “NO….” speaking through my hysteria “no...tapping required”

“Then it’s…all good” Rose laughed along with me.

Using the napkin to wipe the tears from my eyes – because I left the hankie Carlisle had given me in my purse – I realized every man in the room was watching us. Some with a look of confusion others in amusement, Emmett being one of later shook his head mumbling “Trouble…they are going to be so much fucking trouble”

“Why do you say that, son?”

“Dad you don’t even want to know…the stuff they taught Alice”  

My mouth gaped open in shock as Rose asked “What did we teach her?”

“Yeah…what did they teach her?” Jasper wondered giving Emmett a questioning look who accused us with a pointing finger “You know what these two did at the cabin”

I was fringing innocence while Rose was slightly more brazen “Are you referring to the banana?”

Edward laughed while Jasper sighed in longing “Ohhhh…the banana”

Emmett’s eyes widen to the point where I thought he was going to have an aneurism “Yo…plastic man…that’s my little sister”

“She’s my wife” Jasper countered

“Only through default…when I think of my sweet baby sister…left here all alone like a lamb for the slaughter…”

“Don’t worry Emmett…I took good care of her” 

As if on cue Alice came in with the two kids, Vincent said a quick hello before heading to the food table. Because apparently his mother had told him there would be no swimming until after he ate. Little Mia was a different story, completely ignoring her father she came right over to stand in front Rose and me. Her little hands went to the bottom of the pink and white checkered dress she had on and proud as a peach lifted it up. “Ook, I gotz incess anies ”

“Wow…what a big girl” Rose praised her but Jasper wasn’t as admirable as he implored his daughter “Mia put your dress down”

“Me show Aunt Ose and Ella” the little girl defended

Smiling brightly I pulled the ends of her dress back down while praising her “Those are beautiful princess panties…but big girls have to keep their dress down, especially in front of boys”

I was half expecting some kind of comment from Emmett about them all catching me in my underwear at the beach but thankfully for once he was quiet. As soon as Alice called Mia over to sit with her brother and eat, I could begin on my own plate. A few minutes later the other women joined us bringing with them a tray of drinks. While we ate the talk ranged in a number of topics and before I was finished Vinny was ready to go to the pool. Alice told him to wait until everyone else was finished, excited to get down there he asked Emmett if they could play pool baseball.

“Sure…” Emmett looked around the group of us sitting there and smiled “I’ll take women and children”

“NO!” Three simultaneous loud resounding voices disagreed with him

“Oh Come on”

Jasper responded to Emmett’s complaint “WE get Bella” while Edward added “Bella’s on my team”

“Is Bella that good?” Didyme inquired

“No she pretty muchly sucks”

I gasped and Edward came to my defense “She doesn’t suck Emmett” adding an explanation to his aunt “They just use her to cheat”

“You’re just a score looser…face it little brother, you were out played in more ways than one.”

“I don’t understand?” Aro was confused

Carlisle’s eyes went to me before he explained “They…including my own wife...used Bella as a diversion to…distract Edward”

Every eye was back on me and I felt the need to defend myself “They made me do it”

Alice was giggling “I don’t know what Bella was doing…but…” getting to her feet she continuing laughing while giving a demonstration “…poor Edward…he staggered…I thought he was going to fall over”

“Cheaters…their cheaters” Jasper exclaimed while I looked at Edward whose face was ablaze with joy.  Everyone was laughing at his expense yet he didn’t seem to mind at all. I heard someone ask ‘what was she doing?’ but there was no definitive answer because Edward was the only one who was watching me. Marcus threw the question back out only this time directly at Edward “What was she doing?”

I was slightly mortified because I really was shameless that day, squatting in the sand with the bat between my legs stroking it like a phallus. Holding my gaze Edward smirked “What they put her up to, distracting me” his eyes shifted to his uncle “So now that we know how ruthless they are, Bella is always on my side…right mom?”

I think it might still be hard for Edward to accept that his own mother conspired against him and it must have been not something Esme wanted to think about either as she didn’t answer but quickly changed the subject.

“Bella dear, what day do you want to go for lunch?”

Damn, I forgot about that

I wasn’t dreading it exactly but spending the time alone with Esme was still rather daunting as I wasn’t exactly sure what we would talk about. Still I was looking forward to getting to know her on a more personal level.  

“Ummm…any day really but Tuesdays and Thursdays would be best”

“I’m coming in to the city on Tuesday, to clean the apartment” 

“I’ll clean it Esme” Didyme assured her

“I know, but at the very least the bedding needs to be stripped”

Thinking over my schedule I told her “I have Yoga with Leah in the morning and then if you’d like I can meet you at the apartment help you then we can go for lunch”

“You don’t have to do that”

“It doesn’t matter I have some shopping I need to do, Leah’s shower is next week and I have so much to get.” I was going on and on about the plans I had for the week not really paying attention to what Edward was doing until he spoke.

“Ah…Bella, I don’t think with everything that’s happening you should be out roaming around the city by yourself.”

What?

Edward had said something along those same lines before but I wasn’t exactly sure what exactly his idea of ‘out roaming around’ entailed.

“I’m not going to be roaming around, just my normal places, plus the Mall and grocery shopping. I have to go to the arts and craft store to get the stuff for the shower. Charlie and Sue are coming, I need to clean my house for them and stock the fridge…”

“Bella…stop, I just said it’s not a good time for you to be out and you keep telling me all the things you were planning to do”

Looking at Edward one word seemed to pop out at me “What do you mean …were?”

“Bella you can’t be out of the house”

I was still trying to figure out what Edward was saying when Emmett started laughing “Sounds like somebody is grounded”

What?

“I’m grounded?”