Chapter 57

BPOV

The muscles in my thighs ached from the combination of the tension I was holding along with the position my lower body was in. The spreader bar between my ankles held my legs open while the rope attached to the bar raised them high in the air. The stiffness came from the way my body seized up as the last orgasm overtook me. My arms stretched above my head left me at the mercy of my Master who had his head between my legs refusing to stop his torturous deeds.

Trying to squirm away was futile, the most I could do was thrash my shoulders about as Edward held my hips in a death lock. My body was one massive quivering tingle and every swirl of his tongue added to it. His fingers moving inside me only served to tease by not applying enough pressure while my cries and moans were muffled around the ball gag in my mouth. I wanted the ordeal to stop yet at the same time to never end.

Torture

His fingers moved more forcefully against me as I felt his thumb against my rear entrance causing me to moan against the rubber ball in my mouth while something touched my face. It was feathery soft making me jerk my head away. The wispy touch was back causing my attention to drift from what Edward was doing. Groaning in frustration my head jerked again to nudge it away, only to be met with the sound of laughter.

My arms were suddenly loose allowing me to swat at whatever was being such a nuisance. The laughter drew louder as I realized my legs were no longer restrained and my eyes fluttered open.
This time a real groan left my mouth as I realized that I had been dreaming. Edward laughed once more looking down at me from the bed.

“Good morning Isabella,” the twinkle in his eye made me wonder what he found so humorous as I stretched out on the surprisingly comfortable duvet that was my bed for the night. “Mmmm…Good morning Master.”

I wasn’t exactly sure how much longer we were going to stay in our roles but since he called me Isabella I thought it safer to use his title. The tug of the leash told me that was the correct assessment to make.

“Come up here sweet girl.”

It wasn’t a hard forceful tug but it did leave me no choice but to comply. As I moved, the soreness in my vag was very apparent, making me wince as it felt like my girly bits had participated in a triathlon – which I guess they did.

Lying on his side, Edward held the blanket up with one arm giving me a silent invitation to crawl in next to him. Snuggled into his side our legs entwined together while his strong, warm arms wrapped around my back holding me close to him. My head resting on his shoulder the smell of his skin flooding my senses. There was nothing that compared to his heady scent, it was intoxicating and I found myself inhaling deeply trying to draw more of it in.

Edward sighed kissing the top of my head, “I missed you in my bed last night.”

He didn’t mean it in a spiteful way it truly was meant as a statement of fact, but those simple words wounded me. Where last night I had been too exhausted to even think about why I slept apart from him. In the morning light I realized that my actions had not only kept me away from him, but also him from me. His words from the first time we sat in his kitchen came back to me.

‘Your punishments will inconvenience or deter in some form my enjoyment of you’, the tears I was too tired to shed the night before, came.

“No Isabella,” he held me a little tighter, placing another kiss on my head. “Don’t cry my pet.”

I sniffled, “Your girl is sorry Master.”

“I know she is.”

“You always say that,” at my words he pulled back tipping my chin up making me look into his soft green eyes.

“I say that because it’s true. You have come so far and advanced faster than I could have hoped, but you are still so new to this and still learning. That doesn’t even matter though, twenty years from now, if we’re still doing this, you’re going to mess up. That’s just a fact. Ask Jane, she still does something that earns her a punishment every now and then. So I know you’re sorry, if you weren’t sorry this would all be a game, and I don’t want to play games.”

He wiped the pad of his thumb under my eye catching the last of the moisture, “So no more tears Isabella. It’s over, it’s done, we move on with both of us learning from it. Right?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

I smiled back, “Right.”

“Good,” he announced tucking my head back against his chest. “Now, tell me about your dream.”

My face heated up and I wondered how he knew, then blushed even more as I realized that I must have been talking about it in my sleep.

“What dream?” I asked as innocently as possible while he once again tipped my chin up.

“Don’t play coy with me young lady. You were down there moaning and squirming so much that if I didn’t know you would be sore, I would have joined you and made that dream a reality”

Oh …I knew my sleep talking gave me away

Then something occurred to me, “How did you know I was sore?”

“Who was sore?”

I sighed at my own stupidity, Edward gave me strange look but I corrected my question, “Your girl, how did you know she was sore?”

Pursing his lips Edward leaned on his elbow looking down at me. “Isabella, give me a little bit of credit. You had a rope up against the most delicate tissue on your body for hours, add in all of the grinding you were doing…” my mouth dropped open at the words, “…of course you’re going to be tender. In fact, I’ll need to have a look at it, but first you’re going to tell me about that dream, because I’m afraid this collar,” he tugged on the leash I had forgotten was there. “will not be removed until you do.”

Oh my word….He’s such a cheater

I didn’t remember that being in the contract, using the status of my collar as a ransom to get information. I’m going to have to re-read that thing.

In the mean time Edward was waiting for my answer. He listened to the recounting of the dream with extreme interest; it was as if my subconscious was trying to tell him something. Which I suppose was completely feasible; from the look on his face something told me that my dream just might become reality.

Edward had me put my feet flat on the bed, spreading my knees so he could access my vag. Laying there on the bed looking up at the ceiling while he inspected every minuscule detail was humiliating, which is completely ridiculous considering that Edward has been up close and personal with that part of my anatomy on numerous occasions, but it left me feeling…weird. It was like going to the GYN lying there searching the ceiling for anything that would take my mind off of what was happening; probing the recesses of my mind to find something to talk about that would eradicate the uncomfortable feeling.

“Stay right there,” he said patting my leg before moving to get off the bed and heading into the bathroom. He was only in there a few seconds, coming back to the bed with a warm soft cloth which he laid against my core gently cleaning me.

“Is it bad?” I couldn’t help but wonder and thought about asking for a mirror so I could see for myself but Edward shook his head looking unconcerned. “No, I’m just going to clean it, put new ointment on, and you should be good as new by tomorrow.”

Ignoring the last comment I relaxed thinking about what I wanted to know. “Master may this girl ask you a question?”

“Go ahead,” he said not looking at me while opening the ointment.

“It’s about the dream,” his eyes moved to my face for a second before going back to what he was doing while I continued. “This one was wondering about the gag?”

“What about it Isabella?” the touch of his fingers applying the ointment felt so good I think I purred.

“You haven’t used one yet. Your girl was wondering why that was?” Maybe it was a stupid question. In all honesty the thought of being gagged worries me slightly, yet I know that for most couples a gag is fairly standard equipment.

Edward patted my thigh, “All done. Take the ointment with you today, to reapply as needed.”

“Thank you Master.” Taking my hands he pulled me to a sitting position where he checked the side of my breasts for the rope marks that were no longer there. Leaning over he placed a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re welcome. We only have half an hour. So are you ready to remove this?” He asked running his finger over the black collar.

Giving him a small smile and a nod I told him ‘yes’ figuring that he wasn’t going to answer my question. Edward shifted his body to sit behind me and with my hair still in the braids it didn’t take him long to unfasten the buckle. When it was off I felt his lips on the back of my neck but not against my skin, it was on the locking mechanism of my silver collar. The kiss was a simple act that spoke volumes of his devotion to me and our relationship.

“We’re not ready for gags yet Bella, they will come in due time. For now it’s just you, me, and the control each of us has.” His head turned to the clock on the nightstand. “Let’s get ready, we’ll need to have our after session discussion in the car.”

I didn’t completely understand what Edward meant by the control thing and I figured that it was a moot point because he wasn’t going to elaborate any further, at least not at that time. Because of our bath the night before, going through my morning routine was quick. Fifteen minutes later I was dressed as Edward had suggested with my hair in a French Braid down the center of my back. He walked around picking up the ropes, toys, and other remnants of our session while I straightened out the bed along with removing the traces of my sleeping area.

Still having no clue as to what Edward had planned for the day, my curiousity only intensified when he told me not to bring my purse. He did however ask for my phone and ID which was put into a backpack along with the camera. Seth was ready to get outside, stopping three times to do his business before we got to the car. Edward wanted to get him settled into the doggy-daycare before we did anything else.

I was expecting some kind of a facility but it turned out to be in a woman’s house. There were two other dogs there, who after the initial sniff and greet didn’t seem to pay any attention to Seth. The woman, Kelly, who was in charge assured me that he would be fine but it was still hard to leave him there. I know he’s a dog, but he’s also my baby and I didn’t like leaving him with strangers.

“What if the other dogs are mean to him?” I asked Edward while he held the car door open for me.

I could see him trying not to laugh but his lips twitched giving away his amusement at my worry. “He’ll be fine Bella. You saw the other dogs; they smelled his ass and walked away. If there was going to be any fighting it would have happened then.”

“Well I don’t want them to ignore him either,” I said, voicing more concern while sitting in the seat pulling the belt over my shoulder.

“I’m sure that if any of the others are not completely polite they will go in time-out.” As he went to shut the door he added, “Maybe he’ll meet a bitch and get lucky.”

Gasping as the door shut I watched Edward walk around the front of the car chuckling to himself. I glared at him in disbelief while he put on his own seatbelt. “Are you trying to get my baby laid?”

“That costs extra Bella.” Unsure if he was serious or not I continued to glare until he laughed, “I’m kidding …I swear!” he added holding his right hand up while he continued to laugh. “Are we ready to go now, or do you want to go back in there and put some kind of chastity belt on him?”

I tisked, “I’m ready.” We did need to go but I couldn’t help watching the front of the house as we drove away.

Edward drove us towards the downtown area stopping in front of the Dutch Bakery. They had full sit down service, however due to our time crunch we each got a coffee and danish to go. It took a few extra minutes because of the variety they offered. Edward chose a simple apricot but I couldn’t make up my mind finally picking a mixed berry cheese which they warmed up. When we got down to the harbor we had twenty minutes to wait and my mouth was watering from the aroma of the sweet cake.

Edward took the lid off his coffee while I took a bite of the danish, moaning as the sweet gooey goodness melted in my mouth. The mixture of berries was a perfect balance between sweet and tangy with a thin layer of warm yummy cheese and sweet drizzle.

“MMMmmmmnnnn,” I think my eyes rolled to the back of my head. When I opened my eyes Edward was looking at me licking his bottom lip. “What?”

He kind of shook his head as if trying to come out of a daze before taking a drink of coffee. “Last night was good?”

“Uh huh,” I nodded as I swallowed. “Last night was great. I was a little worried when I saw the leash.”

Edward cleared his throat, “Well, you shouldn’t have been looking, your eyes are to remain down not searching the room.”

I sighed, “I know, but when you put it down on the table all I could think about was when you were going to put it on me.” He looked…stunned, so I figured it would be a good idea to explain. “Not that I wanted to walk around in public, and I will admit it panicked me a little, but it kind of excited me too.” Taking a drink of coffee I asked the question I really wanted to know.

“Sooo…is the leash only for when I have been…inattentive?” truly hoping that wasn’t the case but unsure because he had said something about keeping me under meticulous observation.

“No,” shaking his head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have introduced it under those circumstances but I thought it appropriate at the time. Besides, as I said, it’s to keep you close to me either in a physical sense or in a mental way.”

I understood what he was saying because although the leash kept me very close to him it was a still as if that piece of nylon was an extension of him. His hold on me, the control he held, his love and concern, all in one symbol that Edward held in his hand. That was kind of a strange revelation to me, one that I would have to reflect on later in the solitude of my journal.

The sound of his voice broke through my thoughts, “The restaurant?”

My face heated up as I thought about what happened, what I did and enjoyed so very much, like I was some kind of depraved sexual deviant. My blush made Edward chuckle as I felt the back of his fingers run across my cheek, “You cannot imagine how much I love that blush.”

His words only making me heat up more while glancing at him bashfully and biting my lip. “The restaurant was great, the food was fantastic…”

I knew he wasn’t talking about the cuisine as he waited for me to say what he wanted to know. I said the first thing that came to my mind, “I didn’t yellow?” it came out like a question which Edward answered with a sly smile, “No, you didn’t. Why not?”

“I didn’t need to. You were there so I knew everything would be alright.” That was the best way for me to sum up what I was feeling at the time. That answer seemed to be the right one as a knowing grin formed on his face. I thought I would go on telling him about the apprehensions that I had.

“At first I was a little worried and I thought about saying ‘yellow’ especially when the waiter came over the first time, but then you talked me through that initial anxiety.” He nodded, eating the last bite of his danish, so I continued with my thoughts. “I will admit that if my chair would have been facing the other way and I had to actually see all those people,” I sighed at just the thought. “But since the only person I could see was you, it was easier to let myself go.”

And I did let myself go. I’d had an orgasm in public before – if the club counts as public – but Edward had been holding me then, talking me through it. This time he was there but I was on my own, left to my own devices to control myself. I certainly would not have wanted the whole restaurant to know what I was doing, but the fact that I was following my Master’s orders and pleasing him put everything in a different light.

Every time the bullet turned on an upsurge of desire ran through me and the shame of my immoral actions caused me to rub myself harder against the knot. It was daunting, exciting, and made me feel wicked in a way that I had never felt before. And I am ashamed to admit, even to myself, that by the end of the night I found myself wanting Edward to make me perform in front of the waiter. That last thought worried me because I wasn’t sure what that said about who I was, or more to the point who I thought I was.

Edward placed his hand on my knee, “What’s the matter?”

He reads me so well that I knew there would be no way I could avoid his question, and yet I needed a moment to get my thoughts together. Taking another bite of my danish, Edward gave me the time I needed but I still couldn’t look at him as I spoke.

“Do…is there …” I didn’t want to ask if he thought there was something the matter with me, so I just told him the truth. “I became so much more turned on when the waiter was at the table. I mean you were there, but when he came over it was like…” I looked at his face to see the reaction he had, “…my adrenaline spiked and…ahhh.” I actually moaned while talking about it because it was making my clit tingle at the thought.

“Bella,” he quickly looked at his watch and then back to me. “We’ve talked about this before. You’re an exhibitionist, that doesn’t make you sick or disgusting. It’s just who you are. That little bit of extra excitement you feel from someone being there, whether they are aware of what you’re doing or not, intensifies the experience. The act becomes so much more enjoyable; and let’s face it, there is no sense in doing something you don’t enjoy.”

Edward threw his empty coffee cup into the bag that had held the danishes. “That’s why we have these discussions Bella, to get your true reaction so that I know what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If there was something that made you so uncomfortable to the point of you didn’t find any satisfaction in it at all, that would be an activity that I would need to rethink or back off and move slower with. It’s all about mutual pleasure and finding a baseline and building from that point. I’m not saying that you are going to be creaming in your panties over everything that we do. There are going to be something’s that you don’t find as pleasurable as others. But there should always be a small amount of enjoyment in every act. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yeah I do,” and I did.

Edward got out of the car and came over to open my door; I stepped out and into his open arms. He understood me in ways that I didn’t even understand myself, and found me acceptable. Edward made me feel whole, cherished, and unconditionally loved.

The thing that surprised me about that realization was that it didn’t scare me. I could give myself to him wholeheartedly, safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t feel like I had to be constantly on guard worrying about him seeing the real me, because he’s seen me and loves me in spite of all the quirks.

My eyes were closed while I let the warmth of his embrace surround me and I became lost in the feel of his strength, the beating of his heart and the scent coming off his skin, then he tugged on my braid making me lift my chin. Edward’s eyes were a shade of emerald green staring into my soul; lifting up on my toes he tilted his head to meet my lips and his arms were still wrapped tightly around my back, pinning me to his body.

A small whimper left me at the feel of his tongue against mine. He tasted like coffee, apricots and Edward. He straightened his back to break the kiss but I wasn’t ready. My arms that had been against his chest wrapped around his neck and I practically climbed up his body to keep the connection. He had no alternative but to hold me tighter to him so I didn’t fall while our mouths worked against each other.

We kissed until I needed to come up for air. When we pulled apart both of us were breathless and there was a twinkle in his eye that told me I affected him the same way he did me. With a chuckle he set me back down, “Ahh…my little exhibitionist, what am I going to do with you?”

“Ummm…fuck me?” I asked with a hopeful grin, which Edward returned “Later…Come on, our bus should be here soon.”

Bus?

With his arm draped around my shoulder we walked towards the harbor where the ferry comes in. Half a dozen people were standing there all dressed the same as us. Edward walked us over to the guy holding a clip board giving his name, and after checking the list the guy handed him two tickets that Edward stuck into his pocket. A few minutes later four more guys came over to the group, they were all a little younger than me, dressed in the same casual attire.

I tried to figure out what we were doing by looking at the group of people. Two girls stood together drinking coffee casting glances at Edward. But I was more than happy that their attention seemed to be on the group of guys behind us. Then there was a group of four people who were closer to my dad’s age - mid-forties – not at all athletic looking, but not excessively overweight either. They were laughing and taking pictures of each other, the whole group of us was like an eclectic melting pot that offered me no clue as to our destination.

Just as I was about to ask Edward once again what we were doing, the bus pulled up. It wasn’t really a bus but a red fifteen passenger van that had an ‘AdrenaLine’ logo on the side of it.

AdrenaLine…where had I heard that before?

Looking up at Edward he smiled giving me a wink before ushering me into the van. We sat towards the back of the van with Edward by the window, putting me in the middle with one of the young guys sitting on the end. The driver opened the door, took a head count and then introduced himself as Jay. He asked if we were all ready to get started and told us that it was about a thirty-five minute ride until we got to the ‘compound.’

Compound?

The van started and since Edward wouldn’t give me any information, I thought I would let him know how it felt. “By the way there is something I really didn’t like at all.”

The look I got was a mixture of the three ‘C’s’- Confusion, Concern, and Curiosity. I knew he was wondering why I brought up the subject in a van full of people. Exhibitionist tendencies aside, it really was not a good place to have a frank discussion. The concern was why I let it go, why I didn’t safe word or tell him in the car. But it was his curiosity that I was enjoying so much.

“What was it?” his hushed tone was amusing.

“I’ll tell you later,” his gasp of surprise was one thing, but the glare he gave me was too just too funny and I giggled.

“Ok …” he admitted with a resigned look. “I see what you’re doing.”

My resounding giggle drew the attention of the guy sitting next to me. I could feel his eyes on me, turning in his direction I smiled warmly.

“Hi,” he held out his hand. “I’m Jeff.”

Shaking his hand I offered, “Bella.” In a show of not being crude Jeff reached in front of me to introduce himself to Edward. The three other guys in Jeff’s group turned in their seats introducing themselves as well. They were all college students off for the summer and backpacking their way through Washington. The one guy in front of me said that they had started in the peninsula and brought the ferry over early this morning to do this trip. I still didn’t get any information but we struck up a conversation about Forks. They thought the area was beautiful with a lot of lush greenery and mentioned that they had stayed at a campground by LaPush.
All that talking reminded me that we would be going to Forks the next day, filling me with the same mixed feelings of dread and longing that I always got whenever I went back there.

Edward’s hand squeezed mine making me look at his face; he must have known what I was feeling because a small smile played at his lips before he kissed the top of my head whispering in my ear. “It will be nice to see your family Bella.”

“Yeah … it will,” I agreed half-heartedly.

Turning off the road, the van came to a stop in front of log cabin. When we got the large sign over the building told me what we were going to be doing.

AdrenaLine – Zip Cording

I was filled with nervous excitement, “We’re going zip cording?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Taking my hand we followed the rest into the cabin where Edward gave our tickets and we were given a harness, black safety goggles, and a hard hat before being led into another room to watch the instructional film.

The film went over the safety features of the harness, the dos and don’ts, along with a brief description of the zip-line course. The whole thing would take about two hours and began with what they called the virgin run. It was a one hundred and thirty foot line that was thirty feet off the ground and would give everyone a chance to try out the harness before going up to the real course.

We would be separated into groups of six, driven in a jeep up the mountain and then hike about a half of mile to the main area where we would be walking and zipping among the tree tops. The heights ranged from seventy-five to one hundred and fifty feet high, with the lines spanning from two hundred to a thousand feet in length. The video said that we would be reaching speeds of sixty miles per hour, walking across wooded suspension bridges and enjoying majestic views of the Olympic mountain ranges of Washington.

Oh Boy

The nervous excitement was overwhelming as we split up into two groups. Edward and I ended up going with the four older people who we found out were two sisters and their husbands. They lived on the East Coast coming out here on a cruise from Alaska, stopping in port for the day and doing the zip-cording as an excursion.

Our guides name was Colin; he was around thirty with a baby face that still had ruggedness to it. Edward helped me with my harness and I was never so thankful that my man was an expert at using restraints as I was at that moment. If I was going to dangle a hundred and fifty feet in the air, I was going to make damn sure my harness was secure.

Both groups walked outside to take a turn at the virgin run. According to the video it wasn’t hard, all I had to do was clip the hook on the harness into the giant pulley wheel, sit into the harness, lift my legs and slide across the line.

Nothing to it…Easy - Peasy

I was slightly nervous but it wasn’t that far across and there was a net strung the whole length only about five feet underneath the line. Colin was there to show me exactly where to attach the hook and Edward had already gone so he was waiting on the other side. Taking a deep breath with my legs out in front of me I slid right across the line with a big smile on my face straight into my mans arms.

“Not so hard.” I agreed with Edward, “No, it was fun.”

The jeep ride was more like a bouncy all-terrain four by four expedition up the mountain on a bumpy curvy dirt road into the middle of the forest. The whole top was open with roll bars going across that I had to hold on to for fear I was going to be tossed out. After reaching the top the six of us got out, following Colin up a dirt path taking us deeper into the woods.

Edward walked behind me part of the way but as the terrain became more uneven he moved to the front, taking my hand to steady me. Throughout the walk Colin continued to talk, asking where everyone was from and making general conversation in an attempt to be both friendly as well as calming. We walked at a leisurely pace for about twenty minutes stopping once to take pictures. I wasn’t sure exactly how Edward and I were going to look in the goggles and hard hats but it would be memorable.

We came to a set of steep wooden stairs that reached to the top of a very tall tree that lead to a platform that seemed to be sticking out the top of the tree. I could feel my heart race with each step, by the time I reached the top the excitement was gone and I was running on pure panic.

“Oh my god…” I gasped looking over the railing, “…that’s really high!”

“Seventy-five feet Bella,” Colin announced. “It’s half the height of the screamer.”

Yeah that wasn’t helping me

A nervous giggle broke out as I heard the scream from Pam while she moved across the line. Edward’s hand wrapped around my waist, “Come on, where’s that brave girl that jumped off a cliff?”

“You jumped off a cliff Bella?” Colin asked while I kept looking down nodding, “Yeah…but into the ocean.”

“Look babe, there’s a net down there.” There was a net, it was really far down and when I looked back up the other four had already gone. “Should I go first?”

“Nooo…no, don’t leave me up here,” taking a deep breath I walked to the edge. “I’ll go first.”
I swallowed hard while hooking on the harness and I heard Colin say I was ready and just as I was going to sit down my feet wouldn’t lift up.

“Wait...wait…wait…” turning my head to look at Edward pleading, “…kiss me.”

He grinned with a chuckle leaning down to for a quick kiss, “Who kissed you when you jumped off the cliff?”

“Ummm…Jared,” his growl made me giggle. “Ok…I’m ready.”

Taking a deep breath I did exactly as I had before. Sliding across the line from one tree top to the other, it was an amazing experience and I was so proud of myself that I didn’t scream. It didn’t take long to get to the other side and once my feet were on the platform I couldn’t wait to get to the next line to do it again.

Edward was the last person- except for Colin- once he unhooked his harness I practically jumped him in my excitement. “That was awesome!”

“It was,” he agreed hugging me back before we went down the few steps to the rest of our group.

Colin had rejoined us leading the way to the next line which was longer but the same height. It felt like nothing releasing myself off the platform and I even turned around going backwards so Edward could take my picture. The next thing we came to was the suspension bridge and only one person could cross at a time. It was higher off the ground with a dip in the middle and only about eighteen inches wide with cords running along the sides that you could hold on to. It was a little frightening but not too much. By the time we had gotten to the fifth line – the screamer – I was so comfortable with what to do that there was no hesitation at all. The thousand foot line gave enough time to get up to high speeds and I did scream; not out of fear but from exhilaration.

We had taken a bunch of pictures including one of Edward hanging upside down, I wasn’t that brave. The boldest I got was to hold onto the harness with one hand. We also took scenic photos including one of Edward and me with the Olympic Mountain Range behind us, which was the one I was hoping to have framed.

When we finished with the last zip-cord, the course had brought us back to the beginning point where we had gotten into the Jeep. We had an hour and a half before the van took us back to Victoria so the whole group went to the restaurant for lunch. By the time we left there it seemed like everyone was old friends laughing and exchanging cameras to show the pictures they had taken. The two girls appeared to have made friends with the boys making plans on the way back to get together later, even offering them a place to sleep for the night, which I believed they were going to take them up on.

They all seemed so care free, which I suppose is what they were. I had never gotten that chance when I was in college, not that there was any regret on my part. Partying with strange men or getting drunk on the weekends was never my forte. Out of need, I was always cautious making sure that my responsibilities were handled before there was time for myself. But since I’ve been with Edward I’ve come to realize that my happiness should be important too, and he made me so very happy.

Holding the door open for me to get into the car I stepped close to him wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. “Thank you. I think that was the best thing I ever did.”

“The best thing?” doubt clouded his voice.

“Ok…the best thing with my clothes on,” I admitted while turning to get into the car.

“That’s better,” he agreed with a swat to my bottom.

Picking up Seth didn’t take very long at all. He was excited to see us and I have to admit it did my heart good to know that he missed us so much. We were handed a detailed sheet of all the activities they did with him. Edward gave over his credit card to pay while I put his leash on. I tried to ignore what was being said, because I didn’t even want to know how much it cost to keep him all day.

While Edward was opening our room door, the couple who was staying next door passed us in the hall. They both eyed us up and down with a look of distain. I kept watching them wondering why but Edward seemed to find their actions amusing, chuckling while pushing open the door.

“What was that about?” My question must have been funny because he laughed harder as I took the leash off Seth, who immediately went to lay down in his bed. “Edward?”

“I thought they had gone out,” the words were mixed in with laughter but I still didn’t understand what he meant, until he added, “I guess we were a little loud.”

“How loud?” not that I cared if people heard us but it would be nice to know what the nasty looks were from.

“Well,” he started while emptying the contents of the backpack. “Let’s see...the bed was banging, Seth was howling, you were screaming, and I was busy smacking your ass to keep you from cumming...which by the way, you never thanked me for.”

All I could do was stare at him in disbelief, where was I when all this was going on? “No wonder they looked at us like that…they were jealous.”

Edward burst out laughing, making me laugh with him as he wrapped me in a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too …and thanks for smacking my ass.” I was laughing so hard tears were in my eyes.

“Anytime baby,” our laughter was dying down as Edward asked me, “What do you want to do now?”

“I really want to take a long hot soak in that tub.”

“Go ahead, I’ll start a fire?” I nodded in agreement heading into the bathroom.

It felt really good to take my hair out of the braid it had been in and even better to get into the hot water. A few minutes later Edward had come in with a glass of wine in his hand for me. He asked if I wanted to go anywhere special for dinner, but I really just wanted to go to a pub and relax for the evening. That idea was fine with him and he left me saying that he wanted to make our ferry reservation and email Alice to get the information for the hotel at the beach.

Leaning back against the wall of the tub I finished the wine and let the hot water relax me. At some point I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew Edward was lifting me out of the water. With a towel laid over my body he laid me in the bed and covered me, saying that he was going to take a shower. It was so warm I closed my eyes snuggling into the comfortable softness. I didn’t go back to sleep but I was very relaxed until the sounds of Edward moving around the room stirred my attention.

Rolling over I watched while he pulled his boxers up over his sculptured ass. Watching Edward dress was just about as arousing as watching him undress. He must have sensed my gaze because he turned around to smirk at me. “What are you doing?”

“Getting up,” removing the blankets Edward stopped me “Wait Bella, I want to check how you’re healing.”

Damn

I tried to tell him that it was better but it was no use, he wanted to check for himself. Placing my feet flat on the bed Edward settled between my legs to perform the examination. Putting my arm over my eyes I took some deep breaths, not really wanting to think about what he was doing. His hand took a hold of mine placing it on the bed while his eyes bore into mine.

It felt like forever that he just stared at me before finally speaking, “This is what you don’t like.”

He wasn’t asking and I don’t know why in the world it brought tears to my eyes but it did. He didn’t give me a chance to respond before asking, “What bothers you about it?”

I shrugged because I really didn’t know.

“Close your eyes.” I did as he asked. “Now, tell me what you’re feeling.”

I could feel the tension in my chest as all the muscles constricted while the tears spilled down my cheeks.

“a...afraid…I’m so afraid….he hurt me…so b..ad!” The words spilled out of my mouth with such force that I had no idea where those feelings came from. I wasn’t feeling afraid, just anxious. But there they were and in a matter of seconds I was a crying sniveling mess. Strong arms wrapped around me in an armor of protection holding me securely in his lap, “Shhh…it’s ok baby, I got you. He’s never going to hurt you again.”

“I’m…I’m …sssorry…I didn’t …mean…to be…” unable to get the words out Edward kept rubbing his hand down my arm in a soothing manor.

“Shhh…don’t Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for…shhhh…just relax.”

Edward held me on his lap until my breathing returned to normal then laid down along side of me, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at me. A look of concern filled his eyes while his fingers brushed the hair from of my face. “Are you alright?”

Nodding I reached up to take his hand in mine, there was something he had to know, “I’m not afraid of you.”

“I know,” he squeezed my hand. “It was the memory of something you are afraid of, or maybe you were afraid of it. Come on babe, you’re the Psych major, you know all about this. It might be the position, the act, the timing, or some combination of all three.”

I did know that, and there were many times that James had me in that position doing painful things to my body. Maybe Edward was right and it had more to do with the timing due to our trip to Forks- that I keep pushing to the back of my mind- than anything else. “Why am I still so damn afraid?”

“Baby I think no matter what good memories you have from your earlier childhood, the last few years you lived there held nothing but terror and that’s what is sticking with you. I think you need to go there and make some new…good memories. Does that make sense?”

“Like a rebirth?” my hushed words were met by his smile and calm answer, “yeah…something like that.”

We lay there quietly while Edward held me and after a few minutes he asked if I was ready to get dressed, so we could take Seth for a walk and then get a later dinner. I nodded in agreement, sitting up to get off the bed he handed me the ointment telling me to apply it one more time. My face was blotchy from crying so I washed it with some cool water before doing my hair and applying a little makeup. Basic face powder, blush and mascara were all that was needed. The last thing I did was pee and clean myself – noticing that the tenderness was dissipating – before applying a thin layer of ointment.

Wanting to wear my bells I decided to dress in my khaki skirt, brown silk shirt and strappy sandals. The shoes would go well with the rest of the outfit while still allowing me to walk in comfort. As I dressed Edward would look up from the laptop where he was down loading something into his phone. I was surprised that the first thought I had was maybe it was a new program for BFF. With my bra and panties on the curiosity got the better of me. Jumping on the bed I surprised him by wrapping my arms around his shoulders, peering over to see what he was doing.

“Ohhh,” I groaned seeing that he was down loading directions. “I thought you were doing something that was alot more fun.”

He chuckled, “pray tell, my dear, what did you think I was doing?”

“I thought maybe you brought BFF,” my disappointment was clear. His hand came up to cup my face while placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Sorry to disappoint you love, but BFF is safely tucked away.”

“What?” I knelt back putting my hands on my hips looking annoyed, “That is my favorite toy and a basic piece of equipment that is your responsibility to have with you at all times.”

“Oh really...is it now?” Edward’s amusement at my little show of dominance was very clear, “I’ll give you a basic piece of equipment,” he announced before grabbing my hips flipping me down on the bed and tickling me.

“Edward ….stop!” I was laughing and squirming trying my best to get away.

“Tell me Bella; is BFF better then my fingers?”

Laughing so hard I couldn’t answer as his fingers continued their assault on my ribs, “Please!”

“Answer me, my Bella!”

“No!..No!..No!..” somehow managing to flip over on my belly as the words came out through my giggles, “…your fingers are the best!”

“Good!” he said with a swat on my bottom, “now get dressed. Seth is getting all excited again.”

Following his gaze over my shoulder there was my poor baby with his head tilted, ears raised, and tail wagging, looking like he was ready to start howling any second. Getting up to my knees I righted my panties before patting Seth on the head, “What’s the matter boy?”

Edward’s hand replaced mine while I got up to get dressed, “I told you he needs to get laid. Don’t you Seth?”

“Or fixed,” I said sliding the skirt over my thighs while glancing at Edward who made a face and shuddered.

“You don’t want that do ya boy? Tell her you got the goods you should be able to use them …at least once.”

I laughed at him while adjusting my shirt, “He doesn’t care if he uses it or not.”

“The fuck he doesn’t,” the seriousness in Edward’s voice made me laugh. “He’s a male. We got balls and dicks. Damn straight we want to use them.” Edward patted Seth’s head, “Don’t you boy? You want to be howling for a reason, right?”

As if on cue Seth barked, “See I told you.”

Taking my jacket out of the closet Edward turned off the computer while I grabbed a few doggy-doo-doo bags. It was still light out while we walked the paths through the grounds at the hotel. They lead through lush gardens with a small wooden bridge that arched over a narrow stream. There were a few others out walking enjoying the natural beauty along with the clear evening breeze.

After an hour we took Seth back to the room and then walking the three blocks to the pub for dinner. It was a little after seven when we got there. The band didn’t start until nine but we still had to wait a few minutes for a table. When we were seated the tables were high café style with stools. I sat down with my back towards the bar while Edward sat to my right. The waitress came immediately to take our drink orders; with both of us opting for a pint of local ale she smiled leaving us with menus. I glanced at one quickly just to see what they offered because I already knew what I wanted while Edward took more time studying it.

He ended up getting a burger basket while I got the fish and chips I had been thinking about all day. We talked about what time we had to leave the next day, some of what Alice had emailed him with plans for the beach, and he asked if there was anything I had wanted to do there. It was at that time when I had to be honest, confessing that I didn’t look anything up because I didn’t even know where we were going. That little piece of information made him laugh.

“I’m glad I can amuse you,” I told him sarcastically while taking a drink.

He leaned over to kiss my cheek, “You are so adorable.” His words made me blush but I also rolled my eyes. “I’m serious Bella. When Rose has that baby I am buying it the biggest freaking present I can find.”

“What?” I didn’t understand what he meant.

“I owe that baby, if it wouldn’t have been for him, or her, I would have missed out on the best night of my life.” The look on my face must have told of my confusion because he went on. “I never go to open door nights, that’s Emmett’s thing. I was only there to fill in because he was hosting that party. If it wouldn’t have been for the baby, there wouldn’t have been a party; I never would have met you. And there is not a day that goes by that I do not thank god that you came into my life.”

Edward’s warm hand cup my face, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you that night, you were so beautiful, insightful, and funny. All night long I kept thinking how am I going to get this woman? Because I’d be damn if I was going to give someone else a chance, there was no way I was going to let some other motherfucker anywhere near you.”

His words were sweet but made me blush, “I don’t think there was a line Edward.”

He sat straight while the waitress brought our food and he then ordered another round of pints. As the waitress walked away he picked up his burger to take a bite while I stirred vinegar into the little cup of ketchup they gave me. Once I had my food set up and started eating Edward leaned closer to me to speak.

“You truly have no idea how delightfully intriguing you are.”

Delightfully Intriguing?

I had just shoved a whole steak fry in my mouth, and he goes and tells me something like that!

Yeah right

“I’m not kidding you Bella. Look at that guy over there to your left,” glancing over to the man Edward was talking about; he quickly looked away from me. “Despite the fact that he is sitting there with his wife and children, he is constantly checking you out.”

Looking back at the man his eyes once again moved away from mine. “That’s disgusting; he should be ashamed of himself.”

Edward grinned taking the last drink from his glass. As if she timed it the waitress was there with a replacement. Taking his empty glass she asked if he needed anything else to which his eyes never left mine as he told her no he has all he needs. Taking another bite of burger he seemed to be looking past me while he swallowed then followed it with a drink.

“That mans disgusting behavior is unfortunately his wife’s problem, however if those two guys behind you don’t stop staring at your ass, they are going to be my problem.” there was a threatening edge to his. I figured it might be a good time to get Edward’s mind on something else so I propositioned him.

“Is that an ass you plan on visiting any time soon?”

Yeah that did it

The darkness in his eyes grew with each passing second before he answered me, “Is that an invitation?”

“Engraved and gold embossed.”

With the open invitation there seemed to be more emphasis in getting done with our meal. When the waitress asked if we wanted anything else Edward quickly said no, telling me that we would get some coffee and dessert while we walked. That was fine with me; I was ready to go anyway.

We held hands while walking along the harbor. All the shops and homes that surrounded the water were etched in twinkling light that reflected off the calm glassy surface. Standing on the walkway Edward held my back firmly against his chest while we watched a cruise ship pull away. I wondered if the two couples we were with today were on it. Taking a cruise was something that had never appealed to me before but I think it would be fun to go away some place exotic with Edward.

His presence in my life has been so gratifying, I thought of his words from the pub.

“You know Edward that first night we met, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you either. When it was time to go I tried to stall hoping that you would come back one more time. Then when Aro suggested you accompany me back to the club I wanted to jump up and down in excitement. But I figured you could have any woman you want and it certainly wouldn’t be me. I still don’t know what you see in me…” As I said those words Edward turned me to face him.

“God Bella, I see everything in you. There is not a day in my future that I don’t see you in it.”

My hand cupped the side of his face feeling the prickliness of stubble against my palm. “I never used to think in terms of anything but the immediate future. Months and years were just too hard to bear, but now I find myself wanting it. You’ve given me reason to hope.”

Our lips met in a searing kiss my fingers threading through his hair clutching myself to him while our tongues moved against one another. Pressing my body against Edward his hands held my bottom firmly pulling me impossibly closer to him. I could feel the warm hardness of his erection pressing into my belly making me moan into his mouth as my breathing grew embarrassingly harsh. His hand moved up over my hip and ribs to cup my breast letting his thumb move across the nipple making my moan louder.

“Jesus. Don’t you two ever stop?”

At the sound of a man’s deep voice we broke away from each other. Desperately trying to catch my breath, I glanced over my shoulder to see our neighbors from the hotel strolling along the walkway. Edward chuckled tilting my chin up to place one soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled back the joy in his face was radiant as we simultaneously said, “Jealous.”

It didn’t take us long to get back to the hotel. Edward asked if I wanted to stop for something but I wasn’t hungry, at least not for food. While I undressed he took Seth out one last time, by the time he came back I had already been through my nightly routine and was sitting on the bed rubbing lotion into my legs. Edward wasted no time in getting himself ready joining me in the bed where he took me up on my earlier invitation.

Placing me on my belly with pillows under my hips, his hands moved over my back massaging the muscles while his lips kissed and nipped along my shoulders and neck. He used first one well lubed finger then two, preparing the opening he was going to use.

My body responded to every touch he made by creating a burning need inside me that seemed to move my hips in time with the motions of his fingers. Edward shifted behind me pressing the fullness of his weight against me as his hands guided my wrists to lie on either side of my head. His lips moved up my neck to my ear where he nibbled along the outer edge as I felt his slick length gliding along between the crack.

The need to feel him inside me was too great and I found myself raising my hips against his movements beseeching him. “Please?”

“Patience my love…let it build,” the words spoken against my ear made me moan with longing.

He continued the motions until I thought I was going to go insane with need as I continued to beg him to enter me and put an end the suffering. His hand released my wrist moving down to wrap around my hip where it started to circle my clit making me moan into the bed as my hips rose off the pillows to allow him better access. Releasing the other wrist his body weight lifted off me as I felt him slowly entering me, filling me and squelching the incensed craving.

I couldn’t help the words or the moan that left my mouth, “Ohhh…god…that feels sooo good.”

With his length fully inside me, my muscles relaxed around him as once again I felt his full weight surrounding me. His hands laid over mine entwining our fingers together as he pressed our linked hands into the bed and began to move.

I could feel his heart beating against my back as the side of his face rested against mine making it seemed like we were breathing together as one. I felt lost in the sea of sensations; it was erotic, sexy, and intimately affectionate. I had never in all my life felt so protected or treasured.

“You are so beautiful,” his words washed like a soft breeze across my face. There was nothing rushed or forceful about his movements; he was making love to me in a way that I never thought was possible.

My body responded to his as it always does and as I neared my climax I realized that our breathing was still in harmony as he whispered for me to let it go. My moans increased while my fingers tightened around his as my body shook in sweet release. I could hear his own breathing pick up while he let out a low growl as he pushed our hands deeper into the bed. The moment was so perfect tears fell from my eyes.

The pressure in my hand subsided and I immediately felt the loss of contact. I thought Edward was going to pull away from me but I was wrong. Instead his hands moved down wrapping around my waist to hold me against his chest as he rolled us onto our sides. Without even trying my body automatically molded against his. Our tender moment was extended filling me with even more emotional tears.

“Edward?”

“What baby?”

“That was wonderful.”

His arms tightened against me, “Yes it was.” I felt his lips against my hair as I drifted off to sleep.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew I was dreaming. I’ve had the same dream before or at least some variation of it. For the most part it was a happy dream, sitting in Grans kitchen with the high white cupboards, the yellow curtains blowing from the breeze coming through the open window. The plate of warm molasses cookies sat on the table while the aroma of them baking was still in the air. Grand-dad was someplace close by, I couldn’t see him but his voice carried off in the distance telling someone to hurry while Gran talked on the phone.

Sitting across the table was a lady who looked like me, as I watched her it became clear who it was. She looked exactly the same as I remembered. “Mom? What are you doing here?” Looking around the room I realized who was missing, “Where’s Edward?”

“Bella I can’t stay long. He’s calling me. Can’t you hear him?”

I was confused. Did she mean Grand-dad? Is that who he was calling? Listening closely I tried to comprehend what he was saying only it sounded like muffled yells.

“No mom I don’t hear it,” my hand reached across the table and I touched my mother for the first time in seventeen years. I expected her to be cold; however her hand was warm to the touch. “Stay with me mom. Please stay with me.”

“I can’t Bella.”

She stood up swiftly as I pleaded with her, “I need you. Why won’t you ever stay with me?” She moved over towards the door opening it allowing the voice calling her name to fill the room.

“Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!”

“I have to Bella. But promise me that you’ll stay in the light.”

“What light?”

The whole room got dark, so pitch black that I couldn’t see a thing. My eyes moved to where the window should be, but there was nothing. I felt a chill across my shoulders along with a hand touch my back. It scared me so much that I jumped up out of the chair to get away from it.

“Mom! Don’t leave me!”

Through the blackness I could hear my mother’s faint voice, “Bella stay with the light.”

The bright sunlight came shining in the window; it was so brilliant I had to shield my eyes. The darkness was still all around and I could feel hands reaching out to grab me. The fear was rising inside me but I didn’t know what to do. From the direction of the window I heard him calling my name, “Isabella.”

At the same time a dark hand seized onto my shoulder while I sprang forward screaming his name, “Edward!”

Springing up in bed with a start my body trembling as tears ran down my cheeks. My eyes adjusted to the light in the room, looking in the bed at the empty spot where Edward should have been. I heard movement and sensing someone coming towards me I screamed in terror.