BPOV
Before Rose even said one word, I could tell that she was upset. At
first I had thought that maybe something had happened the night before at the club.
I had only gotten to see her for a few minutes and after we came back in from
our trip to the car she and Emmett had already left. In a way if something had
happened during the party, I didn’t want to know. It was selfish of me but the
whole night had been wonderful and the morning so glorious that I didn’t want
anything to spoil my mood.
That might sound rather cold however the weekend had been one event
after the other that took me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. So much had
happened in such a short time I was frayed and to top it all off my period was
coming. I’m not one of those women who suffer from severe cramps or mood swings
but I do get overly emotional, slightly nauseous and chocolate becomes its own
food group.
My cycle kicking into gear was one of the reasons why I decided to take
Edward up on the offer of ending our usual early. When he first mentioned it
all I could think was ‘what did I do
wrong’ and was glad to be sent into the shower to think. Under the hot
water I realized Edward’s giving me the choice was simply that – a choice. It
was not a judgmental move on his part, or a subliminal criticism over the
events of the weekend.
Once my hormone driven mind got that clear it was easier to decide. We
really only had a few hours left and would be surrounded by Edward’s family all
day. I didn’t want to have to be on my best behavior or worried about what ever
task he was going to implement. We were going to his parents’ house, Esme was
accepting of our life but I knew damn well she wasn’t overjoyed with it. The respect for a woman who I was coming to
greatly admire helped me make my decision.
Besides for some reason the Cullen’s all seem to think pâté is some
kind of eccentric French onion dip. They scoop that shit up like ketchup on
fries, smearing the brown foul smelling goo on crackers and pieces of toasted
bread. It’s disgusting, and I knew damn well there would be a whole bowl full
of the nasty stuff. That was my deciding factor the thing that tipped me over
the fence. Because with my raging hormones there was no fucking way in hell I
was going to be eating that stuff without puking.
Seeing Rose worried me a little bit as it appeared she was on the verge
of breaking out in tears. Even though I really didn’t want to hear anything
adverse I couldn’t just walk away from my friend who was in desperate need of
comfort. Besides I’m a counselor, it’s what I do and I had to see if I couldn’t
ease her stress.
The news of her lawyer calling was not what I was expecting to hear,
not that I thought she wouldn’t be contacted, more that it happened sooner than
anticipated. Then again with the high
profile news coverage of the crime along with the identity of the perpetrator it’s
no wonder the District Attorney wasn’t wasting any time.
Rose was more than worried about what was going to happen and was
scared beyond reason to go through the whole ordeal again. I assured her that
someone from The Center would be available to go with her and that seemed to
ease her mind a bit. She had been treated
so very wrongly in the past by not only the justice system that was there to
protect her but also from her parents. And that was where the majority of her
anxiety laid – with her parents – especially her mother.
Since Alderman Baldwin’s arrest Rose still had not spoken to her mother,
telling me “I’m so damn angry Bella. If I even say ‘hello’ I know it’s going to
turn into a big fight.”
“Don’t you think with all that happened your mom would be supportive?”
“If that was the case, why hasn’t she called me? She knows my number.”
While I mulled that over in my head Rose answered her own question “No
Bella she’s not going to do anything that might interfere with her social
agenda. And all this is going to do is remind everyone that her daughter’s tainted.”
“Don’t say that Rose. “ I admonished “It’s not your fault or your
mothers for that matter. Everyone handles the stress differently…”
“Yeah, and my mother handled it by assuming I deserved to be gang-raped and then tossed me aside like
a piece of trash. She left me all alone to fend for myself just so she could save
her own reputation.”
I couldn’t imagine the pain Rose had experienced, my point of reference
was vastly different. Where her parents had requested silence my father wanted
answers. Yet Rose and I had the same response to their request– defiance. And
we had both been living with the consequences of our refusal, oddly enough with
the same repercussions of detaching ourselves from them. I understood Rose’s
fear of pulling back the lid on something she had worked so very hard at
containing. The anxiety made worse by the fact that it was not of her own choosing;
instead being forced into it.
I didn’t know what to say, her life had been traumatized by these men.
One murdered, one in prison, and the others unless they are sociopaths, were
left to carry the weight of their guilt like an albatross around their neck.
With Marshall Baldwin being arrested I could only imagine their panic that they
too might be implicated. That’s a hefty amount of contrition to have to carry
for the rest of your life. And I would imagine that Rose’s mother had her own
regret for the way things turned out.
Yet when all is said and done the victim – Rose - has turned out to be
the most victorious in the whole situation. Through sheer will and
determination, she did that on her own and should be proud not mournful. Rose
needed to be reminded of all she gained, perhaps a bit of reverse psychology
“You’re right, it would have been better for your mother to smother you
with attention. Keep you locked away in the house like some endangered species
too fragile to be left on their own. I bet your mom would have been really good
at that, playing the sanctimonious martyr so her friends could all see how much
you needed her”
Rose’s eyes grew in shock at my words “She was the last person I needed;
I didn’t want to be sheltered or protected, but a little bit of support would
have been nice”
In for a penny –in for a pound
“Yeah, she could have held your hand while you kicked, screamed and
cursed at your counselor. You would have stayed in Chicago where she helped you
get over your aversion to cigarette smoke. And her greatest joy would have been
accompanying you to group meetings, handing you folded Kleenex from her purse
when you cried. That would have been really great; it sounds like she was the
type of mother who did that stuff.”
Rose scoffed “My mother never gave a rat’s ass about me. The only time
she ever acknowledged my presence was to tell me to leave her alone while she
worked on some charity function.”
I sort of figured that was how it
was
“So what did you want from her Rose? When push came to shove, the woman
behaved like she always did.”
At Rose’s blank expression I figured I might as well finish it off, so
she could get her thought process back on what matters, and that wasn’t her
mother.
“Does it suck?” Her eyes gazed over with tears and I answered my own
question “Yes it does. But her indifference at what happened to you was the
same reaction you would have gotten in any other situation. It was because of a
life time of her disinterest that you became the strong, determined woman
standing here now. A woman who when faced with something so horrible was able
to pick herself up and do what she had to do to. It was that fortitude that
gave you courage to move on with your life and be happy. To find a man who you
can build a good life with and raise children with more love and respect then
you ever received.”
Her nose wrinkled in an attempt to ward off the tears “I thought you
were going to take me into the corner and cry with me”
Through my own blurry eyes I assured her “I’ll cry with you Rose, I’ll
hold your hand, I’ll even hand you folded tissues when you need me to. I’ll do anything
I can for you, including giving you a good swift kick in the ass to keep you on
track. What I won’t do is mourn a loss of something you never had. That gets
you nowhere. It’s mentally exhausting and right now you need to be stronger
then you have ever been, for Emmett, for the baby and more importantly for
Rose.”
“Emmett” saying his name caused the ray of happiness to enter her eyes
“That man loves you Rose, all the unconditional love you want from your
mother, you have with Emmett”
“I know” she admitted “the poor guy was so upset when the lawyer called…he
lost his hard-on”
I don’t know if it was the words or the tone of sorrow she used but I
burst out laughing while Rose looked slightly miffed and murmured “It’s not
funny, Bella”
It really wasn’t funny, because I knew how upset Emmett must have been
but I just couldn’t stop
“Ok…maybe it’s a little funny” she agreed laughing along
The tension seemed to have disappeared and while we finished with our
much needed moment of levity we hugged and I felt a little nudge against my
belly. Gasping I pulled back to put my hand on her bulge, asking in wonder “Was
that the baby?”
“Yeah…” she glowed “…he’s been moving around all day” she said placing
her hand on the side of her belly.
Keeping my hand where it was I felt another nudge against the taunt
skin, looking into her radiate eyes I reminder her “You’re not alone anymore”
She smiled broadly, nodding her head and before she could say anything
Emmett interrupted “Are you two women done feeling up my son? Because my dad’s
here”
Looking out at the water all I saw was rows of boats so I had no idea
which one was Carlisle or when he had arrived.
“Are you going to return that to Jane?” Edward asked making me remember
the book in my hand.
We all reached Aro’s car just as he was closing the trunk, after the
brief hello’s I thanked Jane for the loan, telling her I enjoyed her choice and
she was right ‘The Corset Diaries’
was a great beach read. Holding Edward’s hand we walked towards the docks and
then down the pier to the slip where Carlisle was waiting. He stood out of the misty rain under the
small overhang of roof smiling warmly as the group approached.
The boat was much bigger then I was expecting, my father had a small fishing
boat with four fold down seats and a hand operated motor on the back. The best
amenity Charlie’s had to offer was two built in coolers, one for the fish and
the other to keep his beer and sandwiches cold. This boat was more like a small
house, all shiny white with dark blue edging and chrome railings. It wasn’t
just a Sunday afternoon fishing vessel, the ‘Seaclusion’
– the name written across the back – was built for comfort and long relaxing trips
at sea.
Like the other women Carlisle hugged me before holding my elbow as
Edward took my hand to help me on board. Emmett sat in one of the captain’s
chair and I assumed that we would be on the deck for the ride over to the
island. Instead I was led past the glass enclosed helm, down the stairs and
into the cabin.
I was right - built for comfort
Descending the half a dozen stairs brought us into the kitchen area, I
suppose the proper name would be galley but this was a full kitchen complete with
a built in dishwasher. Rich wooden cabinets shined to polished perfection
complemented stainless steel appliances and black granite countertops. I was so
in awe of the kitchen – which put the one in my home to shame – that I didn’t
really appreciate the salon area until I was standing in it.
Despite the partition, the wooden cabinets from the galley continued to
line the walls framing two portholes behind a large curved ivory colored
leather sofa. Off white Ferber carpeting, recessed ceiling lights and blue
accent pillows created a warm homey atmosphere. The central focus being a large
flat screen TV mounted on the opposite wall. The area was so plush and inviting
all I wanted to do was sit on the couch to see if it was as comfortable as it
looked.
Edward was directing me towards the sofa when Carlisle spoke from
behind us “Help yourselves to drinks in the refrigerator and Esme has a tray of
fruit and cheese. I put some plates out but if you need anything else just ask
Emmett or Edward.”
“I thought Emmett was going
to pilot” Edward asked with a little too much complacency causing his father to
roll his eyes “I’d rather arrive in one piece, thank you very much”
“Hey” Emmett called from the kitchen “I’m a good helmsmen, no one’s
ever drown”
“And they’re not going to today either, son” Carlisle was rather
definite, making me and a few others chuckle among them Didyme who asked if
Esme had gotten the bedrooms redone. I
didn’t pay attention to the answer because my mind was focused on the word bedrooms, as in there was more than one.
“How many bedrooms are there?”
“Two” Carlisle answered and Edward offered me a tour but his aunt
stopped him “I’ll show her, I want to be nosy anyway”
Jane looked to Aro, removed her coat and came with us along with Rose
who needed to use the bathroom. Moving through the cabin towards the front of
the boat I admired Jane’s dress. Where the rest of us were in jeans or slacks
she was wearing a light grey sweater dress that I just had to feel how soft it
was and wondered “Is this cashmere?”
“Yes” she answered plainly “Master prefers his slave in a dress”
Walking into the bedroom I tried to remember if I ever saw Jane in
pants, that thought was put out of my mind at the beauty of the room we
entered.
“Wow” Didyme took the word right out of my mouth.
The cherry built in bureaus and closets were one thing but the enormous
circular platform bed situated in the middle of the room was spectacular. It
was set in amongst the surrounding dressers that held framed pictures and other
personal effects. The custom fit bedding in shades of gold, cream and black
with soft fluffy accent pillows resting against the headboard reminded me of a
five-star hotel. The curved tiered ceiling created a canopy effect complemented
by flat angled sections mimicking sun rays.
It was simple elegance that with the three portholes casting natural
light into the room, it became extraordinary.
“Esme did a great job…the bed use to be over here” Didyme gestured to
the opposite wall “…do you remember Jane?”
She nodded in agreement “Yes and these sideboards are so much nicer
than those oak ones”
My mind was still taking in what was obviously the master suite “How
often do they use this…” the two women looked at me and I clarified “…not the
bed…the boat”
“They go out a lot; they stayed on it last night” Rose answered from
beside me while Didyme added “The rocking of the waves does something to Esme that
Carlisle likes”
Jane giggled and even though it was something I really didn’t want to
know, my eyes fell on the plush bed and Rose voiced my thoughts “Ewweeeee”
Didyme laughed at Rose and without closing the door went into the
bathroom which after seeing the rest of the décor I wasn’t surprised to find a
full bath complete with a standalone shower and Jacuzzi tub. She looked around
inside a few drawers and opened the medicine cabinet being slightly more nosey
then I would have thought polite. Then again this was Esme’s sister-in-law and
I could see Leah doing the same thing especially if she was looking for
something.
Didyme sighed “Maybe she has some in the other bathroom”
“Or you could try the galley area” Jane responded and it dawned on me
that Didyme was searching for something.
“What do you need?”
“Marcus dislocated his shoulder a few years ago and the dampness causes
him pain. He has oxycodone with him but it makes him drowsy so he would rather
have Advil. I’m sure Esme has some at the house”
My broad smile turned into a fit of giggles “I have Advil”
Not sure what so funny the women looked at me like I was crazy and I
explained how Edward was giving me a hassle about what I packed in the bag. Jane
shook her head making the comment “that
boy has a lot to learn” making us all laugh at how naïve my man was. Which
if I was being honest with myself was more relieving than annoying. Edward
might have been with lots of women in a sexual manner but he has never opened
his heart or his life to anyone except me.
Our progression towards the other bedroom in the rear of the boat
stopped in the main cabin. Aro and Marcus were talking on the couch while
Emmett came in from the kitchen with a plate of snacks and Edward followed
holding two bottles of water.
“I got you a drink babe”
“Thanks, but could you do me a favor and give your Uncle Marcus the
Advil” His face fell and beside me the women snickered when I patted his chest
and added smugly “He needs them”
And then I too was rather gitty, breaking out into a giggle at his
reply “You’re shitting me”
As I was shaking my head saying ‘Nope’
Marcus broke in “You have some Advil Bella?”
“Yeah we got Advil” he said dejectedly and I just couldn’t help but rub
it in.
“Always be prepared, that’s my motto” it was condescending of me and as
I went with the other women Edward was picking up the tote bag grumbling
something about ‘damn Advil’ and ‘eagle scout’.
The guest room was decorated in the same way as the master, except with
a full size bed instead of king and there were no windows. Instead a circular
skylight above it allowed the natural light to filter in making the bed look
warm and inviting. Unlike even considering the possibility of trying out the
other bed – because that’s gross – we took turns coupling up to see how
comfortable the mattress was.
“I think that would be annoying at six in the morning” I said lying
next to Jane and staring into the muted light coming in through the domed glass
above us.
“Think of the early morning nooky you could have” Didyme laughed at her
own comment while Rose added “I’d rather sleep”
We laughed some more and Rose flipped the light switch on the wall
causing a screen to close over the window, casting the room in muted darkness.
It was impressive not just the privacy screen but the whole boat which had to
be moving yet was as steady as if it was standing still. Righting the room to
the same way we found it we went back out to meet with the men. We walked in on
them all laughing with Edward looking rather flushed as if he was the brunt of
the joke.
“What’s so funny?” Didyme asked and I sat down next to Edward accepting
the water bottle he had gotten for me.
“Edward” Emmett announced and looking towards him he gave me a sly grin
“Apparently packing everything along with the kitchen sink is a female
trait I wasn’t aware of. So I’m sorry and I’ll never question your Eagle Scout
ways ever again” a wicked gleam came to his eyes “Should I get on my knees like
before?”
“No…” I said with indifference “…you can just worship my splendor from
afar”
Leaning in close to me Edward growled in my ear “How far” making chills run down my spine.
My body tensed from the sensation and I giggled “Maybe not far at
all…in fact” my eyes went to his “…I decided I’d rather have close up worship”
His eyes sparkled with what I could only hope to be the same thing I
was thinking of – my Sunday morning cock worship.
Holding my gaze Edward chuckled darkly “Whatever you say, nâhtötse”
Accepting a kiss, I had almost forgotten we weren’t alone until Marcus asked
“What the hell does that mean…na-toss-a?”
Emmett chuckled “Little Bella is not only schooling our Eddie here on
girly stuff she’s also teaching him a new language”
Putting his arm around my shoulder Edward relaxed back with me settled
against his side while his uncle asked again “Alright then tell me what
language it is and what does it mean?”
My eyes went around the room at everyone staring at us waiting, this
was Edward’s family, he could answer “It’s Quileute and literally translated
means my pet”
Emmett laughed again “That’s not what you told mom”
“Yeah well, mom doesn’t need to know does she?”
“It’s probably best that she doesn’t” Aro agreed giving us a smile just
as Carlisle’s voice came through the intercom “Ahoy down there, we’re docking”
While we were gathering everything up I asked Edward what kind of boat
this was, I knew enough about them to know that there were different classes.
“The Seaclusion is a Motoryacht”
“It’s very nice”
“Wait until you see Aro’s” As soon as he said the words a small frown
formed on his face, but he caught it quickly and was once again smiling “Let’s
go”
Confused as to what just happened I took a quick look around making
sure nothing was left behind then followed him back up the stairs to the deck.
Carlisle was pulling us into the boat house and Emmett used the ropes to secure
the yacht safely to the dock. Exiting the boat we made our way up the planked walkway
towards Jasper’s waiting Escalade that would take us to the house whenI heard
my name being called.
“Bella!” turning to the familiar voice Carlisle chuckled “Oh I forgot,
someone wants to see you”
Peggy was running down the stairs of the home she shared over the
Tanner’s boathouse. I hadn’t seen her
since she had left the center to move in with the two other girls and from the
smile on her face it appeared like she was adjusting just fine. Meeting her
halfway between the properties she practically strangled me in the hug.
“How are you?” I asked taking a small step back to get a good look at
her.
“I’m great...I really like living here”
“Good…and your job?”
She was working as a cook in Garrets restaurant, the only time he had
mentioned Peggy was before I left on vacation. At the club he gave me two
donated gift-certificates to be auctioned off at the walk-a-thon. At the time
he hadn’t said or even suggested that here was a problem but that had been
several weeks ago and I had been away.
She smiled broadly “That’s great too…in fact I work tonight and if you
weren’t off jet setting around the world.”
Laughing at the sarcasm I put on my best snotty attitude “Well you know
how us socialites are, we can’t be
bothered with the little people” then
laughed along with her for a moment before getting serious again. “Really
though, I’ll be back tomorrow, call me so we can talk and set up an
appointment”
She shook her head “No can do”
“Peggy you need to…” she cut me off “I’m already coming in on Wednesday
with Doctor C, I have a meeting with you and then Julie to file some paperwork”
Julie was in charge of legal arrangements; she filed restraining
orders, custody papers and set up volunteers to attend court hearings with the
girls so they didn’t have to go alone. In my mind I was thinking about Rose, if
Julie was already going to be there Wednesday maybe she would have some time to
speak with her.
As that thought registered another came to me, if Peggy needed to file
paperwork I worried “has something happened?”
Peggy’s face lost a bit of the happiness she had “Rick contacted me”
“As in he came to see you?”
“No…” she shook her head “…Somehow he got my number and he called me
saying…”
My eyes narrowed “saying what?”
Peggy’s shrug “Same old shit, I miss you…I’m sorry baby…I ‘ve changed…I
won’t do it again”
God I wished I had a dime for
every time an abuser said those words.
It’s the standard reply to their actions and a way of manipulating the
victim into feeling sorry for them. Playing on the woman’s sympathy and desire
to have a loving, meaningful relationship with the man she is physically and
emotionally connected to. He sounds remorseful with promises of a happy life
when in actually it is his fear of rejection making me say those things. Abusive
men are psychologically incapable of leaving a relationship; they are
tremendously dependent upon their partner.
By trying to convince her and himself, that everything will be better
it is his way of proving that he cares. Supporting his claims that he has done
everything he could for her and that she actually means something to him. If
she believes him the cycle of abuse will continue. If the victim leaves the
abuser will generally blame his inability to control his anger on her. Seeking
out friends and family members for empathy about the ‘mean nasty bitch’ who left him until the abuser believes he is the
injured party.
That’s the point where the abuser decides that he no longer has any
control over the victim. She shows her strength, her determination and her
fortitude to live without him. The danger level increases with his paranoia
turning him from an abuser to a murderer.
It was with that knowledge my own level of fear rose “When did he call
you…and where were you?”
“Thursday night…I was actually in the city with the girls”
Hearing that I let a sigh of relief, I personally didn’t know how to go
about tracing a cell number but I knew it was a fairly simple process to
someone with the right technology.
Peggy’s next statement brought my defcon level from orange to yellow “I
didn’t use the phone the rest of the night and contacted Carol first thing
Friday morning to have the number changed”
“And you haven’t seen Rick or any of his friends…” she shook her head
“…his family…” her head continued moving from side to side until I
asked “co-workers…no one?”
“No one Bella”
Biting my lip I was suddenly overcome with a bunch of questions; who did
she give the number to? Who has she been in contact with? Is she taking extra
precautions? Does she feel safe? They kept popping into my head quicker than my
mouth moved.
Before I could ask any of them Peggy was hugging me again “I just
wanted to say hi, because I missed you but I have to get ready for work and
Garrett can be a real slave driver
sometimes”
If she only knew
The grin on my face remained as I walked to the car where everyone was already
seated and Edward waited outside the open door looking all yummy with his wet
hair from the misty rain. His eyes narrowed as I approached “Everything
alright?”
Perhaps my smile from the wayward thought about Garrett wasn’t as pronounced
as I assumed. Forcing my concerns back I answered “Everything’s fine”
Just as Edward was helping me to climb into the car Peggy yelled from
the deck at the top of the stairs “Oh Bella…Welcome back!”
“Thanks” I answered with a wave before stepping out of the rain with
Edward following.
This was only the second time I’ve been to Edward’s parents’ house and
it was just as breathtakingly magnificent as the first time I seen it. Rather than
stopping in the front Carlisle pulled the car to a stop around the side of the
house. Filing out everyone gathered their stuff and headed through the door into
a large mudroom that contained built in benches and divided cubicles. Everyone
picked a spot, hung up their coats and slipped off their shoes. Edward left my
tote bag on the bench with everyone else’s, and before we could join the
other’s Carlisle asked to speak with me.
When we were alone he took on a fatherly quality “Don’t worry about
Peggy, she’s going to be fine”
“You knew?” I was rather irate
Why didn’t he tell me?
Carlisle’s face turned stern and for a moment he reminded me of Edward
“I did, but it wasn’t my place to tell you and besides, as far as I knew you
were still on vacation…”
“Yeah but…”
“But what?”
Yup exactly like Edward
“What were you going to do Bella? How was your knowledge of the
situation going to change anything?”
Well when he put it like that
“I can understand your concern and believe me when I say ‘I share it’
but every precaution had been taken to see that Peggy is safe.”
Grasping at straws I had a bright idea “Maybe she should come back to
The Center”
“Did Peggy say that’s what she wanted?”
Carlisle’s question brought me up short, because she hadn’t even
suggested going back. In fact she hadn’t even seemed worried; grudgingly I had
to admit “No”
“Carol offered her the choice of going back and Peggy declined. You did
a good job in helping her to be the strong woman she is. Like any child Bella,
you raise them the best you can, send them out in the world, hope they make the
right choices for themself…” he
emphasized so I would remember it was Peggy’s life not mine
“…and pray to God they stay safe.”
That was my biggest fear Peggy’s safety, I knew the statistics, I knew
the rationality of an abusers mind, I lived through the aftermath of what
happens when a man feels the power slipping from his hands. And it scared the
shit out me.
Tears filled my eyes and I sniffled at the realization “I can’t do
anything to stop him”
I couldn’t avoid what happened to me, how was I going to prevent it
from happening to someone else?
Handing me a linen hankie from his back pants pocket, Carlisle gave we
a look of resignation “You can only be responsible for your actions Bella.
Everyone else has their own decisions to make and there is nothing you can do
about it. Locking Peggy away just to try to avert something that might happen
is not in her best interest; she knows that and deep down so do you”
Using the soft white cloth to wipe my eyes I had to admit “You’re
right”
“I usually am” he said with a pompous smile making me giggle “Now you
sound like Edward”
“Like father like son”
Great
Refusing to take back the hankie he told me keep it just in case I need
it later, Carlisle was so nice in his fatherly understanding way I felt the
need to explain my tears. “Sorry I’m a little hormonal today”
After all he was a doctor he would understand, however I was shocked at
his admittance “I know”
My questioning look must have been enough for him to explain “The walls
on the boat are thin, and they were all teasing Edward”
Oh
It didn’t bother me but then I realized that he would have heard the
real meaning of nâhtötse instead of the washed down version Edward had told his
mother. However Carlisle didn’t mention it so I did what I usually do when
faced with something I would rather not think about, lock it away into the back
of my mind as a passing thought.
I did however need to say something and all I could think of was “Thank
you”
“Anytime Bella, I told you before my sons a lucky man to have you in
his life and that goes for the rest of us. We all see you as part of our
family”
My emotions must have really been on overload because I could feel the
tears returning. In an attempt to hide them I hugged Carlisle “Thank you for
that too”
“No dear, thank you” he said placing a gentle kiss on my head and from
behind I heard the clearing of a throat.
I wasn’t sure how long Edward had been standing there or what part of
our conversation he had overheard, one thing was for sure he didn’t look too
amused as he asked “Is everything alright?”
“Just fine son”
Edward’s eyes remained on mine as his father gave my arm a small
squeeze before stepping away with a final word “Don’t worry, or you’ll get grey
hair.”
I snickered “Is that your medical opinion?”
“That’s a known fact” he said over his shoulder as he walked by Edward
patting his arm.
Carlisle was different then Charlie and I wondered if my father’s
awkwardness towards me was a trait of nature or nurture. It seemed so
effortless for Carlisle to express his emotions and concerns, almost to the
point where if I didn’t know any better I would swear that was how all fathers
behaved. But I did know better, my father was never one to initiate a
conversation. He certainly wouldn’t have done what Carlisle just did, insinuate
himself into a situation where I might become emotional. I suppose I could
blame my father’s indifference on my own behavior. But from the first day I
went to live in Forks after my mother’s death, Charlie left me to cope on my
own. Somehow I got the feeling Carlisle never would have allowed that distanced
to settle in in the first place.
That doesn’t mean Edward’s father is better than mine, he just had a
mannerism about him that exuded ease and comfort. Perhaps that’s from years of
being in the medical profession but I sort of knew that wasn’t true, the
compassion was a built in quality. I began to wonder if Carlisle was my father
would I have been so closed mouth about what was happening in my marriage. Even
after so many years, speaking of the incidents of abuse that continued to keep
me in a dome of shame with Charlie seems an improbability. He would never understand the things that
were done to me or how being in that situation made me feel. My mind went to
Rose and what she had said about her own mother, how she was afraid that a
simple hello would end in a fight.
I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if I told Charlie about the smallest brutality
that was infected on me, it would end in a confrontation. He would be yelling
accusations and I would end up falling deeper into despair from having to
defend myself. Not that Charlie would mean to cause me more humiliation he just
wouldn’t know how to handle his own grief, and would lash out at the person causing
his confusion.
Rose and I shared that commonality; we also had something else to bond
us. Rose mourned the unconditional love she should have gotten from her mother.
And after speaking with Carlisle I found myself mourning the open compassion I
didn’t get from my father. Using my own words I reminded myself to not mourn
something I never had. There was no sense in being angry with Charlie about
something he had no control over. However just as Rose could be joyful Emmett
gave her the unconditional love she craved. I could be content knowing that Carlisle
cared enough about me to make sure I was ok, even at the risk of riling his
son.
And he did look annoyed “Hi”
My choice of simplicity didn’t exactly ease his expression as the glare
became more pronounced “Hi? That’s all I get? Are you going to tell me what’s
going on?”
“Nothing’s going on”
What did he think I was doing
with his father?
“BullShit!”
His seething tone made my own ire rise and I sighed in frustration.
Edward’s eyes narrowed to small slits as a low growl rumbled from his
chest and I couldn’t help but giggle as I was so glad we ended our usual early
or I would have been standing in a corner.
“I’m glad you can see the humor in the situation; you’ve been visibly
upset ever since you talked with that girl. Then I come in here to fine you
being comforted by my father and I want to know why”
His protective tendencies were usually a welcomed benefit however when
it came to my job there were just something’s I couldn’t disclose. “You’re
right Edward it’s not a joke, because you’re asking me to divulge information
and I have a duty to keep confidential”
“But not with my father”
The accusation no matter how truthful was still was still tactless “Yes
Edward, in this instance not with your father because he is bound to the same
discretion as I am”
He considered that for a moment before speaking in that mater-of-fact
tone of his. “So this has to do with someone or something from The Center, and
that girl was the one who you had moved from there?”
Staring at him I debated how much I could say and decided that I could
acknowledge at least that much. “Yes…” in order to ease his mind and avoid an
unnecessary argument I gave more information “…I was a little worried because
something happened to compromise her safety and Carlisle was talking some
reason into me”
His own anger dissipated as his hand cupped my face. Out of instinct my
head tilted into his touch “I’m sorry baby, I just hate to see you upset and
not know why or be able to do anything about it”
“I know…” I said placing my hand over his “…but this is my job Edward,
you can’t interfere…”
The next second I was wrapped in his arms and he let out a deep breath
“I don’t want to interfere with your work Bella. All I ask is that you share
what information you can, so I don’t worry”
I nodded against his chest in agreement and he kissed the top of my
head adding “Or I’ll get grey hair”
Looking up into his eyes I smiled and ran my hand through the mop on
his head that always looked like he had just stepped away from a good romp in
the hay. “You would be pretty damn handsome all salt and peppered… like Aro”
Mock aggravate colored his face “First my father’s handsome, now my
uncle…I’m going to have to lock you away”
I giggled “I like that idea”
Some thought crossed his mind as he stared at me for a brief moment and
just like when he said something about Aro’s boat, it was gone again. “I love
you nâhtötse, and I will try my hardest to not be an overbearing ass”
“I love you too…and that’s all I’m asking for”
“Come on, my mother is waiting for us”
Going into the kitchen was like walking into a cocktail party, people
were everywhere, getting drinks, helping with food preparations, chatting and
laughing. Esme was indeed waiting; she hugged me tightly, followed by Alice,
while Jasper just gave me a ‘Hey Bella’ with a wave as a greeting. They had
come over to Bainbridge earlier on the ferry to attend church and visit with
Jasper’s parents. Neither of the kids were around so I assumed it must be nap
time, at least for Mia. Vincent was too much of a little man to actually sleep
but I knew that Alice insisted he have what she called ‘quiet time’. That basically
consisted of lying on the couch in a darkened room while watching a DVD for an
hour or so.
There were so many people clustered around that even in the large
kitchen there was a feeling of claustrophobia. Esme must have been feeling it
too because she started shooing the men out “There’s snacks set up in the other
room, get your drinks and get the hell out of my kitchen or I’m going to put
you to work.”
The mention of food was all it took for Emmett and Jasper to leave. Aro
finished getting himself a glass a wine and Edward asked if I wanted one. Just
as I was about to say yes Alice stopped me with the promise of Orange Push
Up’s. Edward kissed my cheek and he left
with the rest of men leaving us six women alone.
Esme let a long breath “Now I can breathe, where’s my glass Didy?”
All it took was Jane’s question “What do you need done Esme?” and we
were all put to work.
We all stood around the large center island working on food preparations,
Rose and I peeled potatoes while Jane was chopping vegetables for the salad and
Alice Kept us all supplied in drinks. After the second round she went to check
on the kids and Didyme started arguing with Esme about the ingredients for the sauce.
“No Esme you have to use real butter”
“Low fat Margarine works just fine”
“No…Jane come make this”
“I can do it Didy” Esme said taking the wooden spoon out her hand.
“Es, Jane can make Hollandaise in her sleep, let her do it. Besides if
I’m going to ruin my diet, I want to do it toughly not with some low fat
bullshit”
“I have to watch out for Carlisle heart”
“There’s nothing wrong with his heart, let the man have some butter”
“Fine…” Esme moved so Jane could take over and Didyme gave Esme an
appraising look. “What’s the matter with you anyway? You didn’t have a good
ride on the boat last night?”
Esme looked over her shoulder at Rose and I who were just finishing up
and pretending not to be listening. “Didyme…” Esme admonished her sister-in-law
while Jane who was whisking away at the pot added “The staterooms are beautiful
Esme”
“I was worried a little because the contractor kept tell me there was
no way to fit a king size bed in there. All the man had to do was read the
blueprints and it worked out fine, I was happy with it”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Didyme said giving us a wink as she picked up the
pot we filled with potatoes. “…now answer my question, how did the tapping work
out?”
“Tapping” Rose quietly
murmured to me and I shrugged in ignorance.
“Didy I’m not going to talk about this in front of the children”
Esme’s excuse wasn’t going to deter Didyme “Oh come on they aren’t
children besides that trick might come in handy for them one day…don’t you want
your sons to be happy?”
Rose and I stayed quiet until Jane announced she was done and Esme got
her a glass bowl out of the cabinet while Didyme came back to the island to
refill their glasses. Picking up the bottle of wine she looked across the counter
at us “You won’t have to worry about it for a long time, but about the time a
man reaches his late forties early fifties, his stiffy isn’t as solid.”
Oh My God
I could feel the blush heat up my face and quickly took a drink while
Rose just had to ask “Isn’t that what Viagra’s for”
Didyme got a look of pure consideration as her face “Yes but it can
take up to thirty minutes before the full effect kicks in and let’s face it…”
she held a glass “sometimes you just can’t wait that long…you need that baby
working …Now”
“So…” She handed Jane the glass before picking up her own
“….you just give it a little tap”
“Tap?” both Rose and I asked in unison
“Yes…tap” demonstrating on the stem of the glass she explained “Right
at the base, you use your finger in a flicking motion…real fast…”
“And that works?” Rose wondered
Nodding her head wasn’t good enough she needed conformation “Did it
work Es?”
“I’m not answering you” Esme said sliding the sauce Jane had made into
the warmer making Didyme laugh “Either it did work and you don’t want to admit
it or it didn’t and your frustrated …which is it?”
“I’m not frustrated…I’m tired”
Didyme laughed “Then it worked!”
“Tapping uh?” Rose mused while I looked to Jane for conformation, she
took a drink shaking her head “Haven’t had the need to try it”
“You will…” Didyme assured her “…it’s all a matter of time” before she
continued to explain “Just don’t do it too hard…but I’ll tell you it works
better than a cock ring”
“Didyme!” Esme chastised but she just laughed “What? They’ve heard the
work cock before and I’m going to
guess they know exactly what to do with one too”
Jane giggled at her sister-in-laws brazenness and Esme took the glass
from her hand “That’s it no more wine for you”
“That’s good I want one of those orange things anyway” She said going
to the freezer to get more ice “Bella you want another one?”
“Sure…but I have to eat something” I hadn’t had anything since
breakfast and the effect from the alcohol was beginning to sneak up on me.
Rose came with me to get some food which Esme had set up on warming
trays in the Sun Room. The sound of the men’s talking quieted a bit as we
entered but started right back up when Marcus asked Emmett about the upcoming
season of the team he coached. The food was an assortment of hors d'oeuvre, stuffed
mushrooms, chicken skewers and cold shrimp, plus an array of cheeses with fresh
fruit and a hot crap dip. I got a plate with of mixture of food – skipping the
dreaded pâté – and sat with Rose on the wicker settee across from Edward. As I
settled the plate on my lap I covered my mouth to stifle the yawn.
“Tired baby?”
“Little bit” I said through another yawn while Rose asked how late we
stayed at the party and I told her honestly “I don’t know” while Edward added
“It was close to three”
“No…” Marcus interjected “You left before we did” My eyes went to
Marcus then to Edward who had the same expression I did as his uncle went on
“You were on the dance floor, then Didy and I went to say good-night but
someone said you had already left.”
My eyes dropped from Edward’s to the plate on my lap as the heat in my
face must have turned my cheeks red and Emmett laughed “They didn’t leave…”
Oh please…oh please…shut the fuck
up
He laughed some more “Didn’t you see how steamy the car windows were?
All you had to do was knock on the door and you could have said good-bye”
One day…I’m going to kill him
To make it worse my good friend Rose sat along me snickering, leaning
over she whispered “Did you have to tap it to make it work?”
I burst out laughing “NO….” speaking through my hysteria “no...tapping
required”
“Then it’s…all good” Rose laughed along with me.
Using the napkin to wipe the tears from my eyes – because I left the
hankie Carlisle had given me in my purse – I realized every man in the room was
watching us. Some with a look of confusion others in amusement, Emmett being
one of later shook his head mumbling “Trouble…they are going to be so much
fucking trouble”
“Why do you say that, son?”
“Dad you don’t even want to know…the
stuff they taught Alice”
My mouth gaped open in shock as Rose asked “What did we teach her?”
“Yeah…what did they teach her?” Jasper wondered giving Emmett a
questioning look who accused us with a pointing finger “You know what these two
did at the cabin”
I was fringing innocence while Rose was slightly more brazen “Are you
referring to the banana?”
Edward laughed while Jasper sighed in longing “Ohhhh…the banana”
Emmett’s eyes widen to the point where I thought he was going to have
an aneurism “Yo…plastic man…that’s my little sister”
“She’s my wife” Jasper countered
“Only through default…when I think of my sweet baby sister…left here
all alone like a lamb for the slaughter…”
“Don’t worry Emmett…I took good care of her”
As if on cue Alice came in with the two kids, Vincent said a quick
hello before heading to the food table. Because apparently his mother had told
him there would be no swimming until after he ate. Little Mia was a different
story, completely ignoring her father she came right over to stand in front
Rose and me. Her little hands went to the bottom of the pink and white checkered
dress she had on and proud as a peach lifted it up. “Ook, I gotz incess anies ”
“Wow…what a big girl” Rose praised her but Jasper wasn’t as admirable
as he implored his daughter “Mia put your dress down”
“Me show Aunt Ose and Ella” the little girl defended
Smiling brightly I pulled the ends of her dress back down while
praising her “Those are beautiful princess panties…but big girls have to keep
their dress down, especially in front of boys”
I was half expecting some kind of comment from Emmett about them all catching me in
my underwear at the beach but thankfully for once he was quiet. As soon as
Alice called Mia over to sit with her brother and eat, I could begin on my own
plate. A few minutes later the other women joined us bringing with them a tray
of drinks. While we ate the talk ranged in a number of topics and before I was
finished Vinny was ready to go to the pool. Alice told him to wait until
everyone else was finished, excited to get down there he asked Emmett if they
could play pool baseball.
“Sure…” Emmett looked around the group of us sitting there and smiled
“I’ll take women and children”
“NO!” Three simultaneous loud resounding voices disagreed with him
“Oh Come on”
Jasper responded to Emmett’s complaint “WE get Bella” while Edward
added “Bella’s on my team”
“Is Bella that good?” Didyme inquired
“No she pretty muchly sucks”
I gasped and Edward came to my defense “She doesn’t suck Emmett” adding an
explanation to his aunt “They just use her to cheat”
“You’re just a score looser…face it little brother, you were out played
in more ways than one.”
“I don’t understand?” Aro was confused
Carlisle’s eyes went to me before he explained “They…including my own
wife...used Bella as a diversion to…distract Edward”
Every eye was back on me and I felt the need to defend myself “They
made me do it”
Alice was giggling “I don’t know what Bella was doing…but…” getting to
her feet she continuing laughing while giving a demonstration “…poor Edward…he
staggered…I thought he was going to fall over”
“Cheaters…their cheaters” Jasper exclaimed while I looked at Edward
whose face was ablaze with joy. Everyone
was laughing at his expense yet he didn’t seem to mind at all. I heard someone
ask ‘what was she doing?’ but there
was no definitive answer because Edward was the only one who was watching me.
Marcus threw the question back out only this time directly at Edward “What was
she doing?”
I was slightly mortified because I really was shameless that day,
squatting in the sand with the bat between my legs stroking it like a phallus.
Holding my gaze Edward smirked “What they put her up to, distracting me” his
eyes shifted to his uncle “So now that we know how ruthless they are, Bella is
always on my side…right mom?”
I think it might still be hard for Edward to accept that his own mother
conspired against him and it must have been not something Esme wanted to think
about either as she didn’t answer but quickly changed the subject.
“Bella dear, what day do you want to go for lunch?”
Damn, I forgot about that
I wasn’t dreading it exactly but spending the time alone with Esme was
still rather daunting as I wasn’t exactly sure what we would talk about. Still
I was looking forward to getting to know her on a more personal level.
“Ummm…any day really but Tuesdays and Thursdays would be best”
“I’m coming in to the city on Tuesday, to clean the apartment”
“I’ll clean it Esme” Didyme assured her
“I know, but at the very least the bedding needs to be stripped”
Thinking over my schedule I told her “I have Yoga with Leah in the
morning and then if you’d like I can meet you at the apartment help you then we
can go for lunch”
“You don’t have to do that”
“It doesn’t matter I have some shopping I need to do, Leah’s shower is
next week and I have so much to get.” I was going on and on about the plans I
had for the week not really paying attention to what Edward was doing until he
spoke.
“Ah…Bella, I don’t think with everything that’s happening you should be
out roaming around the city by yourself.”
What?
Edward had said something along those same lines before but I wasn’t
exactly sure what exactly his idea of ‘out roaming around’ entailed.
“I’m not going to be roaming around, just my normal places, plus the
Mall and grocery shopping. I have to go to the arts and craft store to get the
stuff for the shower. Charlie and Sue are coming, I need to clean my house for them
and stock the fridge…”
“Bella…stop, I just said it’s not a good time for you to be out and you
keep telling me all the things you were planning to do”
Looking at Edward one word seemed to pop out at me “What do you mean
…were?”
“Bella you can’t be out of the house”
I was still trying to figure out what Edward was saying when Emmett
started laughing “Sounds like somebody is grounded”
What?
“I’m grounded?”
