EPOV
Bella is one amazing woman. The longer I’m with her the more remarkable she is to me. I wanted to do wax play tonight. It was a practical choice since she was still sporting some black ink on her foot. I suppose had she been able to soak in a tub it would have been gone; but because of her new tattoo that was out of the question.
The healing process was another reason why I thought the wax would be a harmless activity. She could lie there quietly and enjoy the experience without getting too aroused. I should have known better, I think my girl could get aroused doing just about anything and she is fucking beautiful while doing it.
I love watching her respond to the attention I give her body. She came alive with the application of the mineral oil, and by the time I had used the metal combs on her, she was frustrated that I kept it away from where she wanted it. When I finally got around to touching her nipples she was so needy that the noises she made caused my dick to throb.
I had attached shields to the clamps so that no hot wax would get on her sensitive skin. As respondent as Bella is, she just wasn’t ready for the intensity of that yet. The shields also add a small area that will hold the ice in place; it’s a win-win situation. However she needed to hold still or the ice wouldn’t stay balanced on the top of the plastic shields.
I used the paint brush to apply a thin layer of melted wax just to get her reaction. It also provides me a grid so I keep the hotter wax away from certain areas that would cause too much discomfort. Bella was getting lost in the sensations, and I wanted her mind clear and focused. She was going to need to control herself and be prepared when I removed the clamps.
Bella followed my directions taking in deep breaths and staring in my eyes as I released her captured nipples. Her body at first going rigid and then shuddering and cursing, but she held it together and I was glad for that. I didn’t want to have to punish her, but I would have if need be.
I applied a thin layer of oil over the wax and she gasped when my hands ran over her sensitive breasts and wiggled her hip while I removed the latex panties. I wanted her in the panties so that I remembered not to take the wax down too far and it also provided a barrier just in case of accidental spillage; because let’s face it, hot wax on the pussy is not very pleasant, and I certainly didn’t want to injure her even by accident.
Bella’s response at seeing herself was pure amazement; when she lifted her arms to get a better view my hand tightened around her hips. She was sleek and shiny and more beautiful than any piece of art I could imagine. Removing the wax can be just as much fun as putting it on. Often times I use the flogger, but tonight I just held her against my chest while she purred as my hands moved working the teeth of the comb over her body.
Motioning for her to kneel, I thought how well Bella was becoming familiar with the signals. I would have liked to have a full day for her to be more comfortable with them, but we just didn’t have the time. We had to leave in the morning and she would need to know them by then. That was why I had her serve dinner tonight in a formal setting. The kitchen table was her place to speak freely and she needed to be in complete sub-mode while I introduced her to the next step of training.
I couldn’t stop the groan that left me when Bella took me fully into her mouth, it felt so good and my dick was so fucking hard it was throbbing. I have no idea how she takes so much of me in her mouth, but my god when she clamps her throat muscles around me, I can barely control myself. My hips started thrusting in time with what she was doing, and every time she moaned around me the vibrations just added to the sensations. Between the pressure from her tongue and the feel of her teeth, I wasn’t going to be able to hang on for very long.
Bella had been doing much better with her eating and I was going to make her wait until Sunday night to prove that she was taking it seriously. But I had watched her over the past few days and the look of total defeat when I pulled away from her was heart wrenching. After checking her journal at dinner I had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and end it tonight.
As her mouth continued to clean me off, Bella’s eyes fluttered up through her lashes to meet my gaze, there was total pride and elation behind her stare. She needed to feel the confidence and pride in her submission and I needed to remind her that I was still going to be monitoring her. I had hoped that I wouldn’t regret the decision to end this early, which she assured me I would not.
When she thanked me I needed clarification, her eyes were blazing with exhilaration as she spoke, “For trusting this one.”
I couldn’t look away from her stare; it was filled with love and admiration. How could I not trust her? When she has trusted me with so much and I wanted her to know that I was grateful for it. I used her own analogy to make her understand.
“It’s a see-saw Isabella.” The huge smile that broke out on her face let me know that she knew exactly what I meant.
Lifting her off the floor, I set her back on the table to remove the restraints and the panties that were still around her ankles. I had used my oily hands to strip them easily from her body, but since I left her feet clipped together they couldn’t be completely taken off. My hands skimmed over her legs to where her thighs parted. My head was so close to her center I could smell her arousal and I wanted so badly to taste her. But I thought that would be cruel to begin something I would not allow her to finish.
So with a sigh I lifted her feet to undo the restraints, placing a kiss on the bottom of the right foot while looking in her eyes. Bella’s face turned into a sad smile and I knew the remorse that she held, but there was nothing I could do about that. I had told her when the ink was gone, and even though it was just as tough on me, I had no choice but to follow through.
“Soon Isabella, soon.” I reassured her, and the ink was wearing off so maybe by tomorrow night it would be gone. Definitely by Sunday at the latest, we would be able to put this punishment behind us also.
When all the restraints were off, I blew out the candles before taking Bella in for a shower. While the rinse sat in her hair, I washed her body checking the areas where the restraints might have rubbed against her skin and making sure there was no lasting redness from the hot wax. Satisfied that there were no marks, we finished and I wrapped her in a robe sending her up to her room. It took everything I had to not grin at the disheartened expression on her face. How she still doubted my attraction and desire for her is beyond me, but I see it there as plain as day.
There wasn’t much to do in the playroom. The wax in the crock had to harden and I would sweep up the floor in the morning. After turning out the lights I let Seth out and gathered a small snack together of fruit, cheese and crackers along with the Chardonnay.
Bella’s door was open, and she was still in the robe getting clothes together for tomorrow while she talked into the phone tucked under her chin. “No, I’m not going to be home…I can’t do anything about it, I did everything I could.”
A smile lit her face when I entered with the tray of food but she continued with the conversation, “Alright…I have to go. I guess we will find out on Monday...yeah you too, bye.” She closed her phone with a resounding sigh, but didn’t put it down.
“What did you bring?” she asked inclining her head and biting her bottom lip to see what was on the tray.
“Just a small snack, I thought maybe you might want something.”
“I do, thank you,” she said, taking a piece of cheese while I poured us each a glass of wine. “Actually, I was going to come and find you. Leah wants to know what time to get Seth tomorrow?”
“I thought we were going to drop him off?” I answered, handing her the glass.
“Leah is going to make Jake walk with her in the morning…,” she grinned, “...and she said that if we wait until around eight they will come by and take him along, if it’s any earlier we have to drop him off.”
“Well I was thinking about leaving at eight, so I guess tell her to come and get him.” Emmett is expecting us around ten so that should give us enough time to get there.
Bella put her phone on the night stand after sending Leah the text. She sat on the bed adjusting the robe around her legs to cover her foot with the writing on it. I pretended I didn’t notice, picking up a cracker and asking who she was talking to on the phone.
“Gail,” her voice sounded despondent while she explained. “She was at the center until after seven and Sally never came to dinner with the kids. She is going away for the weekend and was wondering if I could go check on Sally. Gail is afraid that she is going to leave.” Bella pursed her lips before taking a drink.
“Do you think she’s going to leave?”
Bella got a distant look on her face before she answered quietly, “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry baby.” I really was, I knew how much heart and soul she put into the work she does at the center.
“Most come and go a few times, it’s just…she’s already been there four times and…,”
“And what?” I hedged.
“And nothing, it’s just part of the cycle.” I looked at her while she was taking a piece of cheese from the tray and she must have seen the question on my face.
“Domestic abuse runs in a three part cycle. The buildup, where the tension begins to rise and everyone in the house is on pins and needles just waiting. The tension can become so bad that the women will actually do something to piss him off just to get rid of it. Then the blow-up, when the violence occurs, and the last is the honeymoon stage.” She took another sip before finishing her explanation.
“The honeymoon stage,” Bella chuckled without amusement, “this is when he’s sorry and brings her flowers and gifts. Takes care of her and tells her how much he loves and needs her, begs her not to leave, and promises he’ll never touch her again.” Bella shrugged, “Sally is missing the honeymoon stage. It’s just each time they leave and go back the abuse seems to get worse, and the building stage comes quicker.” I moved to stretch across the bed, propping my body on my arm as I faced her.
“How many times did you leave?”
“Only once,” Bella met my eyes speaking without emotion. “There was no cycle with James; he is not what you would classify as a normal abuser.”
“Then what the fuck is he Bella?” What she was saying didn’t make sense to me.
“You want my professional opinion or my personal one?” She asked before taking a bite of apple, I didn’t answer; I was still in shock from the last statement.
“I suppose it doesn’t matter since they are both the same. James is a sadist in the strictest sense of the word. He enjoys what he does; he takes great pleasure in tormenting and inflicting pain. He was
never once sorry for anything he did. See, that’s the thing Edward, the abuser blames the victim, ‘baby you made me do it,’ and that’s where a lot of the guilt comes from. But the abuser is genuinely sorry and doesn’t want to hurt her.”
“Then why don’t they stop?” It seemed so simple to me. Bella sighed looking at me pointedly.
“They don’t know how. They can’t find a way to channel all the emotions into anything but violence. It’s usually a learned reaction, it’s what they’ve grown up with and that’s normal to them.” I sat up to refill our glasses and asked the question that came to my mind.
“So was James’s sadistic ways something he learned?”
“No…His parents aren’t exactly…modern. They are kind of like stuck in a Leave it to Beaver mentality, but there was no violence. At least none that I ever saw, his father went to work and his mother stayed home scrubbing the house from top to bottom and baking cookies while wearing her pearls,” she added with a smirk.
“Didn’t they ever see the bruises on you? Why didn’t they do something about their son?” Perhaps that was the wrong thing to ask because Bella got up to finish putting stuff in her bag. She was quiet for so long, I didn’t think she was going to answer, so I gathered the tray together and as I was getting up she spoke with a shaky voice.
“His parents thought it was selfish of me to be going to school. His mother often said that if I really wanted to do something I should work at their store, for free of course. They were already paying James, not enough – because I had to work at Wal-Mart to make ends meet.” She became quiet and I thought she was done before she added, “they turned a blind eye to the bruises, maybe they thought I deserved it, maybe they just didn’t care. I think they were anticipating getting their hands on the money. Just like James.”
I truly didn’t know what to say to her. Why would his parents think that they were entitled to her inheritance or that she should share with them? Putting the tray down I pulled Bella into my arms hugging her close. There were no tears but I could feel her body relax against mine.
“That’s the only reason he married me, to get the money.” Her words came out against my chest.
“I know baby you told me, and when he found out that wasn’t going to happen…” she started talking before I could finish.
“Maybe he thought if I was dead or in a psych ward somewhere then he would have control over it. But…” I lifted her chin to look in her eyes.
“But, you were stronger than he thought.”
“Do you think so?” Now the tears were starting to form, I wiped them away with pads of my thumb.
“Baby, I know so.”
“I had to leave Edward. I tried to stay, I didn’t want to be a failure. But…the night I left…I came home from work, spring session was starting the next day, and I sat in my truck for hours. It was so cold, but I was numb, and I kept staring at the house thinking, ‘Bella, go inside, it will be warmer.’ But it wasn’t warmer in there, it was cold and cruel and I knew when he found out about Dartmouth…and I couldn’t go in that house. Something kept me in that truck.” Her face was resolved and her eyes were eerily distant. She was no longer meeting my gaze instead staring off over my shoulder.
“We had a fight a few nights before…,” Bella sighed bringing her hand to the back of her head, “…he didn’t want me to start classes again, but come hell or high water, I was going to go.” There was complete silence as I waited for her to finish.
“Sitting out there wearing a turtle neck to hide the bruises, it became so clear to me. That if I went inside, I wouldn’t be coming out. So I sat there, waiting…”
“Waiting for what?” At the sound of my voice her eyes snapped to mine.
“I don’t know.” Bella bit her lip and sniffled as the tears ran down her cheek. “Something, anything, a sign from heaven, a gut feeling telling me what to do. But there was nothing, just numbness; and I knew at that moment that I was completely alone.”
My hand ran through the long length of her hair. “What did you do baby?”
“I had half a tank of gas and thirty-two dollars, so I sucked up my pride and called Charlie. It was the hardest phone call I ever made in my life. He met me at Sue’s with the keys to her house, two bags of groceries and a hundred dollars.”
“See? you weren’t really alone you had Charlie, you were just being too stubborn to seek help.” I thought maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but Bella giggled.
“That’s the same thing Charlie says. He tells me all the time, ‘Just like your mother Bells, stubborn as the day is long.’” Her voice changed in what I assumed was an attempt to mimic her father before adding, “I wish I could remember her more.” Bella sighed, “Oh well, I better finish getting my stuff together.”
I kissed her forehead before taking the tray and wine back downstairs. When I came back up to her room, Bella was coming out of the bathroom making me stop in my tracks. The robe was gone and she had on a pink nightie with a plunging neck line that showed off the soft curves of her breasts. The material hugged her hips and a wide band of white lace on the bottom wrapped around her upper thighs.
“What’s the matter?” the anxiety rose in her voice.
“Holy shit Bella; you are not making it easy on me are you?”
“What are you talking about?” Like she had no idea what she was doing to me.
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
Looking down at herself and then at me, her eyes going to my crotch and the hard on that was begging to be let loose, she snickered.
“It’s not my fault if you can’t keep Little Eddie under control.” I growled out my discomfort, holding up the A&D ointment. “Come here.”
Bella lifted the back of the nightie up while I rubbed the tattoo with the ointment, my other hand laid flat against her stomach causing her to tense up. “Does that hurt?”
“No it’s just… sensitive.” I had her turn around so I could see her stomach, there was only one small part that was slightly pink and I rubbed some of the ointment on that area before pulling her nightie back down. Bella glanced at me and I could tell she had something on her mind, but I didn’t inquire what it was, I just waited for her to ask. It took a minute of uncomfortable silence before she cracked.
“Are you sleeping in your own bed?” I watched her nervously biting her lip while she waited for my answer.
“Is that an invitation?”
Her tongue peeked out between her lips, “you don’t need an invitation.”
I cupped her chin bringing my lips to hers. “Then no, I’m not sleeping in my own bed. Now let’s get some sleep, because you have to have breakfast ready by seven.” I chuckled at her scowl.
When I came out of the bathroom she was already under the blankets with her light out. Climbing in next to her she snuggled into my arms. “Edward why aren’t we in your bed?”
Sighing I asked, “what’s the rule for being in my bed during our…usual?”
While she thought about it I remained quiet, finally it came to her. “No clothes in your bed allowed.”
“That’s right, and you still need the A&D for your back, so you had to wear something. It was out of the question for you to sleep in my bed.”
“I love you.”
I smiled into the darkness, knowing I would never get tired of hearing those words. My arms tightened around her and I placed a kiss on top of her head.
“I love you too, now sleep my Bella. We have a busy day tomorrow” I lay there just holding her in my arms thinking about all that I had to do before leaving in the morning before finally falling asleep.
The sun was just starting to break through the window and Bella was still in my arms when I woke up. I kissed her forehead before getting out of bed. Seth followed me down the stairs and I let him out and then I went to clean up the playroom. While I was down there I glanced at the St Andrew’s cross in the corner and a scene came to my mind. So while I was there I set up for it, thinking that tomorrow Bella’s foot would be clean and we could play when we got home.
As I climbed the stairs with the bag of garbage I could hear Addicted playing on the iHome. Bella was by the stove, still wearing that flimsy pink thing she called pajamas. Her long hair flowing down her back as her hips swayed. I dropped the bag startling her when I wrapped my arms around her stomach and started swaying with her.
She dropped the spatula, turning in my arms with a smile on her face. “Good morning Master.”
I smiled down at her pulling her closer against my body as our hips moved in unison. “Good morning my Love.”
As the song ended, Savin’ Me began and I kept her right where she was. As our impromptu dancing became more comfortable, I spun her out away from me and when she came back she giggled, wrapping her arms around my neck while our hips moved together. When that song ended something else came on that I had never heard before and was not anything to dance to. Besides it was getting close to seven and the bacon was cooking, so after a quick kiss I let go of her with a swat on the bottom.
“Mmm…would it be naughty of me to ask for more?” Bella purred.
Reaching over I turned off the stove then stooped down to lift Bella’s legs, tossing her over my shoulder chuckling at her gasp.
“It has been days my pet, hasn’t it?” I asked walking her into the living room and sitting on the arm of the couch.
Bella’s body slid down my chest and as she did the pink material slid up over her bare bottom making it so much easier.
“Where are your panties Isabella?” I inquired as I got her into position, then giving her a swat.
“Ohhh…I…”
“Who?” I questioned swatting her again then rubbing the spot.
“Ohhh…your girl, she didn’t put them on.”
Placing two quick swats, I wedged my elbow between her thighs to open them wider. “Since you have such an aversion to panties,” I swatted her inner thigh making her gasp and squirm. “I don’t want any on you until Monday morning.” My hand came down twice on both cheeks making the muscles in her bottom tighten.
“Do you understand me?” My fingers slid down the slick wetness of her center pinching her clit between my thumb and finger.
Bella sucked in a breath, “Ahhh…yes Sir!”
My other hand rubbed over her bottom and I determined that it just didn’t seem pink enough.
“Keep your hands on the back of the couch.” I ordered, using my left hand to place swats on her bottom and after three more, Bella was moaning, and I placed more pressure on her clit causing her to tense up and quiver.
“Don’t you cum!” I warned with another swat. Bella let out a shuttering breath and I wished I could see her face.
“Five more Isabella, count them.”
Swat… “One…mmm,” my thumb circled her entrance.
Swat … “two…oohhh,” sliding inside of her.
Swat …”Threeeeeeee,” catching her clit between my third and forth fingers.
Swat… “Fouurr,” my fingers started to wiggle and she moaned out a shuttering gasp, “ohh…god…please?”
Swat… “Fi....fiv…fivvve,” my fingers left her and my hand rubbed her now rather pink and warm bottom as she got her breathing under control.
“Kneel.” Bella took a second to move, “Be quick Isabella.”
Once she was on the floor I held my fist out with my thumb in the air waiting for her to meet my gaze. When she did, her face was flushed and her hair had that wild fullness to it. I motioned for her to come closer and when she complied I signaled for her to relax. With her head on my thigh I placed the fingers that held her juices to her mouth for her to lick and she sucked them clean. I could feel her body calming as I ran my hand down the length of her hair.
After a minute, I tapped her shoulder making her kneel once more. Bella’s face was just about back to normal and I held her cheeks in both hands moving towards her for a kiss. Her lips parted without any hesitation and I could taste the sweetness of her juices on her tongue. It had been so long since I tasted her it was like honey and I could have feasted on the flavor alone.
In the back of my mind I knew we were on a time schedule, so as I pulled back I took one last lick across her lips obtaining a moan against my mouth. Motioning for her to stand, I twirled my forth finger in a circle. I hadn’t used that one last night, but Bella seemed to know what I meant because she turned so her back was towards me.
I took the sides of her nighty, and folded them up to reveal her pink bottom. “I want to see my handy work Isabella, besides the color matches your jammies. Off you go little one, breakfast is already late.”
I didn’t swat her, I just placed my hand there and gave her a little nudge, but the flesh must have been sensitive because her muscles tightened. Sitting for breakfast was going to be fun and the two hour car ride even more so, I chuckled at the thought.
“Be quick Isabella, fifteen minutes.” I called out to her before she reached the kitchen door. A ranging hard-on is not exactly comfortable, so while I was upstairs I took care of that problem on my own.
Taking the list off my dresser, I double checked to make sure I had everything. I had gotten my clothes together yesterday, along with the few toys I would be taking. The only toy I left out was the one Bella would be wearing in the car. Oh yeah it will be a fun ride, and just thinking about it made my dick stir again.
When I entered the kitchen I immediately sat down, and Bella brought me over a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I said taking it from her, two seconds later there was a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon in front of me, and I grinned as Bella hissed when she sat down with her own plate. There really wasn’t much time, her spanking had us running late - but it was so worth it.
We needed to talk about last night’s session so I started right in. Motioning for her to stand, I lifted the material up so I could see the spot on her stomach that was pink from the wax. It was gone this morning, which was a good thing. I placed a kiss on her navel before lowering the front of her nightie over her thighs.
Bella hissed again when she sat down, but I ignored it, knowing that I would be rubbing her with lotion soon and that would take away some of the sting. I figured I better start or we would run out of time. “How did you like the wax-play last night?”
“Hmm…it felt amazing. My skin was so sensitive from the metal comb. It was the comb you used first right?” I nodded at her question taking a bite of toast. “Then between the hot wax and the ice, I couldn’t tell which was which most of the time.”
“So you liked it?” I figured I was stating the obvious, but Bella shook her head in a negative response leaving me puzzled.
“I loved it, every part of it!” Her admissions made me laugh. I finished my cup of coffee handing it to her to refill. I could have gotten it myself, I just wanted to see her pink ass, and it was bright pink. When she came back I took the cup and rubbed her bottom, delighting in the tenseness.
“Is your bottom warm?”
“Mmmm…yes sir.” The sir was unnecessary at her table but I understood where it came from.
“I don’t believe I was properly thanked for that.” I could see her thinking and in no time Bella was straddling my lap, and her lips were attached to mine.
“Thank you Master. For the luscious spanking you gave your girl this morning.” My hands softly rubbed her warm flesh before gently squeezing making her hips grind against me.
“Ohhh…I can’t wait for you to fuck me. I will never turn my phone off, ever again!” I took her chin in my hand trying to drive the point home.
“Then the lesson has been learned Isabella, however it wasn’t just about the lack of pleasure.” Bella’s whole face fell from the sting of whatever she was thinking about.
“I know, I hurt you with my callousness and I didn’t think about how much you would worry and I’m sorry about that, and I’m really sorry that my actions forced you to do something that caused you grief.”
I smiled at her words and knew that this lesson was definitely learned and hopefully that black ink would be gone tonight. I placed a quick kiss on her lips.
“Come on, finish eating so you can be dressed before your sister gets here.” Once she was seated I asked about the hand singles and if she understood them. And I had to agree with her, she seemed comfortable with them. As soon as she was done I sent her upstairs telling her to dress but to leave off her pants until I got there.
I cleaned up the kitchen quickly and started the dishwasher before going to my room to get what I needed. Bella was pulling her hair into a pony tail when I entered. She had on a white turtle neck and a pink Seahawks hoodie. I didn’t know they made them in pink.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I had Bella lie across my lap so her legs were spread and her head was close to the floor. Rubbing the lanolin onto the flesh of her bottom she let out a slow sigh of contentment.
Picking up the lube I rubbed a generous amount on my fingers before sliding them over her rear entrance. I could feel her breathing pick up as I applied more pressure with each pass over it. Once I was sure that Bella knew of my intentions, my finger slipped inside her.
“Mmmmm…,” the moan came out low and throaty.
Holding the blue jeweled chrome plug down for Bella to see, she surprised me by speaking, “it’s pretty like the red one.”
“Yes, it’s pretty and will look even prettier in your ass.”
“Hmmm, I wish I could see it.” Bella commented, as I twirled the lubed plug around the opening that it was going to fill.
“I’ll take a picture with my phone, and use it as your id photo.” As I finished the sentence the plug was put in place and Bella let out a gasp. My hand ran over the blue jewel and it looked better then I thought it would.
“That looks striking against your skin, especially with pink cheeks.” As promised, I took out my phone taking a picture.
While Bella finished dressing, I went into the bathroom to wash my hands; on the way out I was assaulted by a childlike woman who wanted very badly to see the picture I had taken. She reminded me of Vinny, who every time the camera goes off he runs over yelling, “Let me see! Let me see!” I would have shown her but the door bell rang, and her pout was adorable. I chuckled picking up her bag as she ran from the room to welcome her sister.
I shook Jacob’s hand and watched as Leah looked curiously around the room. Bella had Seth on his leash and was handing it to Jacob saying, “thanks for picking him up.”
Leah shrugged, “we were going out anyway, and well, I wanted to see where you spend your weekends.” Her eyes roamed around the room once again.
“You can come by anytime Leah.” Bella told her reassuringly as they were walking out the door.
The two women looked like they were having a rather heated discussion in the driveway, but their voices were too low for me to hear. Jacob shook my hand again. “Sorry about Leah Edward, she’s kind of curious, and I think she was expecting your whole house to be full of …deviant things. She is probably a little disappointed.” His laugh made me grin, I suppose I could understand that. Bella on the other hand was kind of pissed.
“You know Jake, you need to get her a gag so she shuts the fuck up.”
“Bells, you know she’s just worried about you.”
Bella glared at her sister, “she’s not worried, she’s fucking nosey.”
“Isabella,” I admonished. I knew that she was upset, but she shouldn’t be talking about her sister like that.
Jacob however grinned, “yeah that too. See you two tomorrow afternoon.” As he walked past his wife he said something to her in Quileute that made Bella laugh and Leah glare at him.
“What did he say?” I asked Bella as we went into the house to get our bags.
“He said, ‘Let’s go nosey troublemaker’…Do you know she wanted to see the playroom and she thought the whole house was decked out in nothing but sex stuff!” I laughed picking up the bags.
“It’s not funny Edward!” I stopped abruptly, turning to glare at her and speaking firmly.
“First off Isabella, lower your tone and your eyes immediately.” Her gaze left mine dropping to the floor. “Second off I understand that you are upset with your sister, but you need to remember your place.” I took a deep breath before continuing.
“Lastly Leah is not the only person who thinks that, and now that she knows perhaps she will not be as worried about our relationship. There is no reason for you to be so angry or to raise your voice to me. Now apologize for your tone and total disrespect.” her meek voice sounded out while her eyes remained glued to the floor.
“This girl is very sorry Master; she allowed her anger with someone else to get the better of her. Please forgive her.” I didn’t know what to say to her and frankly I didn’t have the time, so I thought it best to just drop it.
“Come, we’re running late.”
Once we were on the road and out of the city I explained the details of a modified approach. “Isabella, there are a few changes to our routine that you are going to have to be aware of. Emmett and Rose would not care, but Alice and Jasper will be offended if we conduct ourselves in the usual manner. The first thing is not to refer to yourself in the third person. That will be in effect at all times until we return home.” I thought it best to not confuse Bella by making her switchback and forth. It was best to just drop that all together while we were away.
“Also when we are not alone do not call me Master or Sir, I would prefer that you not use my given name either, unless absolutely necessary.” I let her think on those two points for a minute before I went on.
“You are not going to be able to properly present yourself. So what you are to do is anytime you would normally present yourself stop what you are doing and meet my gaze, then follow the directions I give.”
I gave her another minute before giving her the last assignment she would have to carry out. Bella had mentioned several times her fear of not being able to stay in the right frame of mind while we were with others. I thought that the task I was going to give her would remind Isabella that every part of her belonged to me regardless of where we were or who we were with.
“Last thing Isabella, for the remainder of the weekend you are to request and obtain my permission to use the bathroom.”
My original Fan-fiction
Mine
A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing. ~ DominaBlue
3/24/11
Chapter 28
BPOV
Edward and I were sitting in the kitchen. I knew this kitchen with its high white cupboards, yellow curtains, and the aroma of molasses cookies baking. This was grand’s kitchen; I haven’t been here since I was a little girl. Grand-dad sat across from Edward talking, I could see their lips moving but I couldn’t hear a thing they were saying. The phone was ringing and drowning out their words, but their mouths kept moving like they could hear each other.
The phone stopped and someone touched my arm when I turned to look it was grand. Her round face was just inches from mine and I wanted so much to touch her, but she held her hand up.
“Bella, they’re gone.”
I looked through the gold rimmed glasses into her eyes; trying to understand I asked, “who is gone?”
She didn’t answer only inclining her head towards Edward, who smiled at me then stood and began to walk towards the window. I went to get up to follow him but grand had my arm making me look at her.
I called to Edward, “don’t leave, wait, please I love you, don’t leave me!”
He kept walking into the sunlight; it was so bright I could barely see the outline of his body. I called after him again, “Edward, wait!” I wretched my arm free from grand’s grasp, running to try to catch him.
Grand called, “he’s coming Bella, stay close.”
I stopped and turned to face her, “who’s coming?”
She didn’t answer and when I looked over my shoulder Edward was even further into the brightness and I had to squint my eyes in an attempt to shield them as I ran towards him. I had almost reached him when grand pulled my arm spinning me around to look at her. She was once again inches from my face and the look in her eyes was fierce and I was afraid as she warned, “stay in the light Bella, he’s coming.”
My eyes shot open to a blinding light coming through the window. The bright morning sun was making a rare appearance. I let out a quick sigh and Edward’s arms tightened around me, “I got ya babe.”
Was he sleep-talking?
“Are you awake?” I whispered against his neck.
“The question is, are you awake?”
I giggled, “yes, I thought you were talking in your sleep.”
Edward shifted his shoulder under my head and then made a humming noise in his throat, “hmm…no, but I have been listening to you ramble on for the last hour.”
“I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“You didn’t disturb me,” he said placing a kiss on my head. “I was going to get up and shower, but I was too engrossed to move.” I couldn’t see it but I could hear the grin on his face. “What were you dreaming about? You kept saying, ‘too bright…don’t leave’ and something about molasses.”
I recounted as much of my dream as I could remember finally telling him, “at the end, it was like Grand was trying to warn me, she said to stay in the light. Then when I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes. What do you think that meant?”
Edward rolled his body so I was laying flat on the bed, while he was propped on his arm looking down into my eyes. “You have the most vivid dreams.” He said brushing the hair out of my face. “I think all that talk last night about your mother and death, came out in your dreams.”
That made sense; they always say that when you die, you go into the light. Or maybe Edward was my light and my desire to stay with him worked its way out of my subconscious. Either way, it was just a dream and my reality was lying next to me, looking better than anyone should after just waking up.
Edward’s lips met mine is a soft sweet kiss, my hands wrapped around the back of his neck pulling myself closer to him. I could feel the heat radiate off his body making my skin burn. My lips parted and our kiss deepened to the point where desire became my only focus. My hand ran down his shoulder over his chest and stomach to brush against his very hard dick and he groaned against my mouth.
“Bella,” his voice was pleading and I could feel him twitching against my hand.
“Edward, make love to me.”
His eyes snapped open looking deep into mine.
“Please…?”
“No Bella,” I could hear the uncertainty and want in his voice, “no, I can’t.”
“Please Edward…please? I need to feel you inside me.”
“Bella, I’m begging you…don’t make it harder than it already is.” I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Don’t you want to?” My eyes roamed over his bare chest and he cupped my chin to make me look at him.
“Of course I want to, I always want to, and I find it very hard to deny you.”
So what is the problem then? “Then don’t.” Yes, I was pleading and I thought for a few seconds that maybe I had won.
“Bella, I want to make love to you tenderly and worship every part of your body the way you deserve, but not when you are denied release. I can’t and I won’t do that to you. Please don’t ask me to?”
My eyes left his, and when they came back I could see the pain in his face. His desire matched mine and I could tell this was just as difficult for him, but I wanted him so badly and I needed to know that he still took pleasure in me.
“Then fuck me Edward, take me for your own gratification.” I could see him warring with himself as his eyes locked onto mine, “Please…Sir, use me. I need to know…,” I didn’t get to finish my sentence.
Edward grabbed ahold of my hands holding them against my stomach with his, and in one cunning move flipped me over.
“Get on your knees.”
It took me a second to get my bearings before I could move. As soon as I could get my ass in the air, Edward’s other hand was running through my slit. A sigh of want escaped my mouth.
“Oh no, Isabella this is not about you,” he said as his fingers dove into me. “Always so yearning, my little slut.”
I couldn’t help it, his words added to the fire my body was feeling and my hips wiggled against his fingers.
“I don’t think you are going to be able to control yourself.” Edward’s hand left me and wrapped around my hair.
“If I fuck you it will be for my pleasure, not yours. Don’t you orgasm and force me to punish you again!”
I tried to look in his face, but the way he had my hands and the grip he held on my hair I was unable to move. My voice came out strong with my resolve of wanting him to just take me. “Yes Sir, your slut will control herself.”
“She’d better,” Edward was stern in his warning as he let my hands go and moved behind me pushing my shoulders down into the bed and entering me in one swift move. I bit my lip to keep from crying out at the feeling of fullness.
Edward’s hands held my hips tightly as he moved inside me with a steady pounding rhythm. It was hard and fast in its voraciousness making me withered under the onslaught, and I enjoyed every second of it. There was something about his taking me so forcefully for his own pleasure that fulfilled the need I had at that moment. He grabbed my hips impossibly tighter slammed into me two more times and withdrew from me spilling his cum on my back. My own heavy breathing matched his and even though I did not have a release a feeling of satisfaction washed over me and I was in total bliss.
“Is that what you needed Isabella?” the words came out among heavy breaths.
“Yes Sir,” it was exactly what I needed.
“Why?”
My eyes closed and the truth came out of my mouth, “I needed to know…that you still want me.”
Edward reached across my body and I could hear the tissues being released from the box, he cleaned my back and then lifted my body towards him. His hands cradled my face forcing me to meet his gaze.
“I want you every second of every day. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you, I’ve never wanted anyone or anything so much in my life. Don’t you ever doubt that.”
I heard his words and saw the reality in his eyes and I knew he meant what he said. But there was a part of me down deep that still questioned the rationale of how that could be. Edward must have seen my misgivings at the validity of his statement.
“How can you not see what is right in front of you?” I didn’t answer him because I figured it was a rhetorical question. His gaze began to make me uncomfortable and I broke the silence with own truth.
“No one has ever told me I was worth anything, Edward.” I could feel the tears fill my eyes as the reality of my words took hold.
“Well you are worth everything to me Isabella and eventually I hope you see that.”
I watched him move from the bed to go into the bathroom. I sat there for a minute thinking about his words. I knew that my insecurities had upset him, and I was sorry for that. The last thing I wanted to do was give him another reason to be displeased with me.
Edward was standing at the sink brushing his teeth, the muscles in his shoulder flexing as his arm moved. I reached out to run my fingers down the length of his spine before wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head between his shoulder blades.
“I’m trying Edward, please don’t be mad at me.” I could hear the air leave his lungs.
“Bella, I’m not mad at you. I am furious with a world that would allow so much hurt into your life. I want to take it all away. Right now…today, but I can’t and that makes me feel inadequate. I know it’s going to take time and a lot of reassurance and baby…,” he stopped abruptly.
“What?” I wanted him to finish his thought.
Instead he turned around to face me, “Nothing…,”
I knew there was something but I had no clue what it was.
“…I told you last night I would give you all the time you needed, and I’m not going to push you, so…nothing. When you’re ready to let go of the shame you carry, you’ll tell me.”
I did carry shame. I was mortified that I allowed myself to become a victim. Embarrassed that I wasn’t smart enough to see the signs before it became so bad. I was humiliated that I wasn’t strong enough to get out before there was permanent damage done to my body. More than anything, after all the years of therapy, I was reluctant to admit that the memories of the abuse still held a predominate place in my life.
“I don’t know how to get rid of it Edward.” The pads of his thumps wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I’m right here Bella. When you’re ready, share it with me and I’ll help you bare the load. I want to be everything you need; regardless of whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or a hard fucking, I will be whatever you need me to be, because I love you and want you to be complete.
I let his words settle in my mind and I wondered as I often did, how I got so lucky as to find a man who not only wants to give a shoulder to cry on but also a … “Hard fucking?” I asked with a grin.
“Anytime baby, you don’t have to ask me twice.”
I giggled laying my head against his chest, while his arms held me close. “Oh Edward…I love you.”
He let out a long drawn out sigh and then kissed my hair. “It’s a nice day so I’m going for run, do you want to come?”
“I don’t run very fast.” I warned him, but he didn’t care.
It was a beautiful day for a run. Seth enjoyed the exercise and I could see what Edward said about taking him along, he was the perfect companion. There were only a few people on the trail, an elderly couple walking a gigantic Rottweiler and a woman pushing one of those strollers designed for jogging.
On the way back we stopped by my house, I hadn’t been there since Tuesday. I had amassed a fair amount of belongings at Edward’s, but I did want to take some sweatshirts and something appropriate to sleep in at the cabin. I had also bought a new dress that I thought Edward would approve of me wearing Sunday night to New Moon. Once everything was gathered, I wrapped the roses that were still alive in wax paper to take with me and we walked back to Edward’s.
There wasn’t much time left before I had to be at the center; so after a quick shower Edward drove me in to work after stopping to get coffee and a bagel. I thought maybe this was his way of making sure that I didn’t drive to get anyone today, but I kept that thought to myself.
The center was abuzz with excitement, it was moving day and anytime one of the women leave it’s a time of mixed emotions, elation mingled with apprehension. I suppose it could be equated to a child leaving home. Peggy had stopped by for one more hug, and as they left Carol told me she could be reached by phone if I needed her and warned me to stay here. She didn’t have to warn me, I had counseling sessions scheduled and no car to go anywhere.
Melissa was the next one who would be leaving; she and her three children had been here six weeks already. It becomes harder to place women with children. She can’t go into the boarding homes and even though the father is an abusive bastard he still has rights to the children. The one thing that Missy has going for her is that two weeks ago her husband was put back in prison for a parole violation. In the mean time, she has been busy filing for sole custody and working on improving her job skills. Now if I could just find her a CSR position that paid enough, she would be good to go.
I walked back to the community room; the children were gathered around one of the tables with some of the mothers and Gail making butterfly magnets out of coffee filters. Two of the women were over at the stove making lunch and Sally sat alone in the corner, staring at the table.
“How are you doing?” I asked sitting down next to her. I don’t like to ask that question because I always get the standard answer.
“I’m fine.” Yup- that’s the one. Sally looked up from the table, “I’m sorry I got you in trouble Bella, are they going to fire you?”
I smiled at her concern. “You didn’t get me in trouble…,” at least none that I was willing to tell her about, and that wasn’t her fault, “…and no, they won’t fire me.” I didn’t add my volunteer status because that just opens up a bunch of personal questions.
“Oh, good,” she grew quiet looking over towards the children. “The kids miss their rooms, I don’t think they like it here.”
I followed her gaze as she spoke. “They look alright to me. Joey is having fun with Michael and Zachary and look, even little Nicky is full of marker.” I chuckled at the little round face with splotches of pink and blue ink on it.
“Yeah, but…Joey goes to school three days a week, he’s missing it.”
“I believe Gail runs the preschool here, he won’t miss anything.” She didn’t answer and I could see the doubts in her mind. “I’ll tell you what, let them finish here, get your lunch, and then come see me like we planned and we’ll talk about it.”
Sally remained quiet only nodding in agreement.
“Hello Doctor Cullen!” The children called out. I didn’t know that Carlisle was coming in today. I watched as he sat down in an empty chair; I patted Sally’s hand then went over to join the craft table. A few of the children said hello, but I didn’t get near the response that Carlisle did. Haley asked him what his favorite color was, and then proceeded to make him a magnet.
“Hey Bella?” Dana called from over by the stove.
“What?” I asked looking up.
“Who was that guy here the other day? What was his name Tammy?” She asked sarcastically to the woman standing next her. This was not going to be good.
“Umm…I think it was Ed-ward? Yeah, that’s what I heard.”
Son-of-a-bitch! They would have to do this in front of Carlisle.
“Yeah, and a little birdie told me that he is Bella’s…” Dana looked over toward the children, and then grinned at me, “…mattress dancer…” Tammy giggled at her choice of words, “…and I also heard that he would win Dancing with the Stars, hands down.” The two of them stood there giggling while I could feel my face heat up. When I chanced a glance at Carlisle his head was down and he was pretending to be oblivious to the conversation.
“Yes, his name is Edward and we are…together.” There, that sounded safe.
Tammy held up one finger on each hand wiggling them as she said, “together? Or…” she then made two fists banging them against each other, “…To-geth-er?”
Oh, fuck my life! My whole face felt hot like it was going to pop at any moment, “Never mind Bella…We know!” and they laughed, along with the other four women in the room and when I glanced over, even Carlisle was snickering.
“Ahhh…Edward is Dr. Cullen’s son.”
That admission only made them laugh more.
“Hey Doc, you got anymore sons? I haven’t been dancing in a long time.”
Carlisle looked up his blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “I believe they are all spoken for Dana.” He glanced at me grinning.
“Alright, that’s enough humor at Bella’s expense.” I said getting up after little Lisa handed me a pink butterfly.
“No, seriously Bella, when do we get to meet him? Because, no offence Doc, but he better be one fine man if we’re going to allow Bella to hang around with him.”
“Allow?” I clarified, but they only nodded at my chuckle. “Don’t worry my two little mother’s, Edward is a perfect gentleman.”
“Well…he doesn’t have to be a gentleman all the time.” Dana said raising her eyebrows suggestively.
I smirked at her.
“That’s it; I’m going back to my office.” I said getting up.
“Wait Bella! When are we going to meet him?” Tammy called to me. I turned around glancing quickly at a standoffish Sally telling them, “You’re not.”
“Ahh… you’re no fun!”
I laughed at their indignation, “Bye ladies, enjoy your lunch.”
I walked back down to the office area and Carlisle joined me carrying his blue butterfly.
“Sally is thinking about leaving.”
“I know. I’ll be surprised if she is still here Monday.” There was nothing I could do to stop her, this wasn’t a prison, and she could leave anytime she wanted to. I would try and talk to her later, but I wasn’t going to count on changing her mind.
“What are you having for lunch?” Carlisle asked me and I shrugged.
“I was going to make tuna, but…I didn’t want to stay in there with those women anymore.”
He chuckled at my awkwardness. “Esme sent Minestrone and Greek Salad, care to join me?”
“Do you have enough?”
He smiled, “plenty.”
Esme not only sent the food, there were also plates, bowls, utensils, and linen napkins. Lunch with Carlisle was a nice affair. The conversation was pleasant and I believe I talked more comfortably with him in that half hour then I did with Charlie in the ten years we lived together. Not that I couldn’t talk to my father, he just wasn’t much of a conversationalist.
When we were done with lunch I headed back to my office to meet with Sally. She was looking for any reason she could think of to go back. I knew that cycle, although when I finally left James, I had no intention of returning and I never did, of course that didn’t stop him from coming to me. I listened to all her reasons and I countered the best I could without making her feel guilty. Battered women carry enough guilt and the last thing I wanted to do was add to it in order to manipulate her. It had to be her decision to stay, which after almost two hours of talking I was sure she would not be.
When she left my office, I sat with my head in my hands. I was ready to go home and take a long hot shower to get ready for tonight. I had to call Edward because he was my ride home.
“Hi Baby!” His voice sounded happy, and I could hear Emmett in the back ground, “Hello little Bella, how come you guys aren’t coming tonight?”
Edward sighed, “You still there Bella?”
Emmett was still complaining about having to play some silly game Alice thought up.
“Yes, I was wondering if you can come and get me? If you’re busy, I’ll call a cab.”
“I’m not going to have you take a cab Bella; I’ll be in twenty minutes.”
“Thank you.”
We hung up, and I wrote Carol a note telling her I would be gone for the weekend and my concerns about Sally. Carlisle was leaving, he and Esme had plans for the weekend as well; they were going to some Bed and Breakfast in Oregon. I thought that was romantic and I hoped that after thirty some years of marriage I would be as lucky as to still be madly in love with my spouse.
I sat on the stoop waiting for Edward, it wasn’t quite four o’clock but people were starting to go home from their work day. The center wasn’t exactly in what I would call a bad neighborhood, but if it would have been dark out I would have been uncomfortable sitting here alone. Three doors down an elderly woman was pulling one of those carrying carts up the stairs. She seemed to be having trouble, so I went to see if I could assist her.
“Mama, can I help you?”
She looked at me through her lashes, “that’s very kind of you; it was heavier than I thought.”
I took ahold of the handle while her frail wrinkled hands let go, and I began tugging it up the stairs one at a time. When I got to the top, she had already opened the door, and I just wheeled it into the vestibule.
“Thank you dear, I can take it from here.” She took ahold of my hand as I stepped back on to the stoop. She was just a little old lady with a babushka wrapped around her hair, and a hole in her green sweater.
“You’re welcome. Have a nice weekend.” As I was walking down the stairs Edward pulled up, eyeing me leaving the woman’s house.
“Hi,” I said getting into the car. Before I could snap my seat belt, Edward reached over to take my hand pulling me closer for a kiss.
“Hello Baby, how was your day?”
The car behind us blew his horn and while Edward drove we talked about our day. He worked outside in the yard most of the day and then Emmett came over to pick up a pressure washer. They were still going tonight and Edward told me that Emmett promised the hot tub would be up and running by tomorrow night. That was the only thing he had promised to have done before we arrived tomorrow.
When we got home Edward said that there was a surprise up in my room. When I walked in, there on the bed was my dress I brought here this morning, along with three white garment bags. As I opened them I discovered all the outfits that Alice had made for me. The hobble dress was on the bottom along with a note.
Bella
I know that Edward is dying to see you in this.
But I’m asking that you don’t let him see it on you until
you wear it for the 25th Anniversary Party.
Let the anticipation eat him alive..hahaha
Alice
I laughed, crumbling up the piece of paper and sure enough Edward was at my door, wanting to see it on me.
“Sorry Edward, Alice say’s no. You’ll have to wait.”
The most adorable pout formed on his face as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Bella, I’ve been waiting for over two weeks to see this, don’t make me wait anymore.”
I held the deep blue leather dress out of the bag, showing it to him. “See?”
He huffed, “that’s not what I mean. Come on Bella try it on, I won’t tell her.” I looked in his pleading eyes and it was hard to say no but I felt like I owed it to Alice.
“Edward, she wouldn’t let me pay for it, so the least I can do is honor her request. Besides, it’s not that far away.” The pout still didn’t leave his face; I put the dress down and stepped between his open legs, cupping his chin to make him look at me.
“I tell you what, if you can be a good boy and not pester me about that dress, I’ll try on all the other stuff and the dress that I want to wear on Sunday.”
He got a little evil glint in his eyes, “A ‘good boy,’ huh?”
I nodded while he firmly squeezed my bottom. “Yup, because right now you’re acting kind of naughty.”
“I’ll give you naughty,” he said with a swat. “Go, try on your clothes. Can you start with the dress?”
I wasn’t sure why he had made that request, but it didn’t matter to me. When we were shopping the other day I had seen the dress, and it got the total Cullen Women approval. The silver material clung to my body, while the whole back was open except for a bronze chain that draped between my shoulder blades. The pucker in the material at the small of my back caused the dress to curve around my bottom before it ended halfway down my thighs. From the front it looked simple; from the back it was very dramatic.
I stepped out of the bathroom and Edward smiled and said, “that looks nice.”
Nice?
I gathered my hair over my left shoulder, turned my back to him and then looked back to see his reaction. His eyes grew and his mouth dropped open making me smirk.
“Is it still nice, Edward?”
He was sitting there staring at all the exposed skin. “No, that dress is exceptional.”
Edward got up coming to stand behind me; his hands ran up my stomach to cup my breasts.
“Bella,” he growled in my ear, “you won’t be able to wear a bra with this.”
I shook my head while his lips moved to skim over my neck.
“Do you want to see the things Alice made or not?” He sighed, letting go of me and sitting back down. I made my way into the bathroom and as I looked at the items in the bags I realized there were things in there that I wasn’t sure I knew how to put on, or what went with what. I figured I would just take my chances.
All five pieces were shiny black or red, and unlike the dress that was soft to the touch, these were stiff and rigid. I figured I would break them up into two different outfits, but in all honesty each piece was interchangeable so there were many different possibilities.
I wiggled into a contraption that reminded me of a chastity device. It came up high over my waist with a corset type closing over my stomach. There were eight red straps with garter clips on the end. I looked through the bag, and bless her heart, Alice had a pair of fishnets in the bottom. The bra was black with red demi cups and the black waist cincher finished off the look.
“What do you think?” I asked while Edward raised his eyebrows and I turned for him to get the full view.
“Well, how does that make you feel?”
I thought about that and only one word came to my mind.
“Powerful,” I giggled. “I feel like I should have a whip in my hand.”
His laughter drowned out the sound of my own. “I think I would like to see that!” After a few more giggles I opened up the waist cincher and wiggled out of it.
“The pieces are nice; I just have to figure out the right combinations. Let me show you the rest.”
The last two were simple to figure out. They consisted of a pair of red crotchless panties that also came up high on my waist and a halter top with a built in shelf bra. Stepping out of the bathroom I felt more like myself.
“That’s more like it.” I smiled at his comment, and I had to agree, “this does feel more like me.”
When I came out of the bathroom I was wearing my robe, and Edward held his hand out silently asking me to go to him. I sat in his lap while he ran his hands down the length of my inner thigh.
“You know how you would come to the house at six o’clock and that would get you into the right frame of mind?” I thought I understood what he was talking about. “The thing is that now you are already here and if we just go about our business it might be hard for you to get into sub-mode. So I was thinking that when we’re here together, you should remain in your room and then come down prepared.”
“You want me to stay up here?”
He nodded. “Just be in the kitchen at six, and I want you to be wearing only this.” He handed me a white lace chef’s apron, as I scrutinized it Edward continued, “If you take a shower, make sure your hair is dry and I believe that is it.”
I looked at the clock as he left; deciding since I had an hour, I was going to take a shower. I didn’t wash my hair so that left me time to lay down and rest before putting on the apron and heading down to the kitchen. I had to quickly run back up the stairs because I had forgotten the journal, but I was on time when I entered the room to find Edward by the stove. Standing behind him in my presentation position it didn’t take him long to acknowledge me.
“Good Evening Isabella.”
“Good Evening Master.”
Edward turned to look at me.
“We are going to be eating in the dining room tonight, please see that the table is set.”
“Yes Sir.”
I hadn’t served him in a formal setting yet. Edward had shown me what was expected, but as of yet we have only eaten in the kitchen. My hands touched the lace on my thigh and the necessity of the apron became clear.
Everything was on the table except for the plates, and when I went into the kitchen Edward didn’t give me time to present myself before he spoke.
“Everything is ready for the table; I would like cranberry juice.” That was all he said before leaving.
I looked on the counters; there was a basket of bread, a salad, and a tray of lasagna. I started with the juice, taking it in to him and remembering to keep my head down as I held the glass out in front of him. After a few seconds he spoke without looking at me.
“Isabella, I know I told you it was unnecessary for you to kneel when serving, however, for tonight I will not accept anything from your hand while your head is higher than mine, kneel.”
As he said kneel, his flat hand lowered four inches alongside his body. I did as he directed holding the glass out in front of me. After Edward accepted it, he flipped his hand so his palm was up and raised it - in effect, telling me to rise. Each time I brought in another item Edward would remain quiet, instead using the same hand motions to tell me what to do. After taking the plate of lasagna, he never motioned for me to get up and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I stayed where I was, quietly kneeling while he began to eat.
After a few minutes his hand motioned for me to rise, and when I brought my plate into the dining room, Edward held his hand up in an indication to halt, then to kneel. I was confused again but did as I was told.
“The kitchen table is yours where you may sit and eat at your leisure; however, you are to ask permission to sit at my table.”
“Master, may your girl join you at the table for her meal?” I kept my head straight and my eyes down speaking clearly.
“She may, as long as her head remains lower than mine.”
Ok, how was I supposed to do that?
I thought for a second then began to move forward on my knees, placing my plate on the table before sliding into the chair. Edward watched me expectantly, but I had no clue what he wanted from me.
“Isabella, it is customary to show gratitude for any privilege you are awarded.” There was no malice in his words, it was pure instruction, and he was waiting for me to respond. I thought I would keep it simple.
“Thank you Master for allowing me…,”
“Who?”
Damn!
I started again this time concentrating on my words. “Your girl is sorry for her choice of words, and she is very thankful to her Master for being allowed to join him at his table.”
Edward nodded his head once, “She is most welcome, continue.” and he swished his hand in a go-on kind of gesture. Dinner proceeded in a comfortable silence; we were half way through when Edward asked about my journal.
“Your girl has left it in the kitchen, Sir.”
“Please retrieve it,” he said, making that go-on swish motion with his hand. As I went to stand, Edward’s hand came up to halt my movement and he singled for me to kneel. When I did what was asked of me he gestured for me to go. I stayed on my knees until I was at the doorway, returning to them on my way back in.
Edward was still sitting, but he was maneuvered so his chair was away from the table and facing the doorway. I kept my eyes down as I moved along on my knees holding the book out for him. Taking it from me, I watched the motion of his other hand, his fingers were vertical with his thumb in the air and he moved them towards his body as he said, “Come to me.”
I had nowhere else to go but between his legs. Edward made a fist sticking his thumb in the air. “Look at me little one.” As my eyes met his I couldn’t see any emotion there, he was in total Dom-mode.
“I know it has only been two days, but am I going to be displeased with your eating?”
“No Sir,” of that I was very sure. After talking with Jane, I have been making a point to be more diligent in monitoring myself.
“Well, we shall see.” Edward held his hand out like he was going to tell me to kneel, but instead his fingers dropped to form an ‘L’ as he said, “Relax.”
I closed my eyes and laid my head against his thigh. Edward’s hand ran through my hair several times sweeping it away from my face. The back of his hand ran down my cheek and neck to lightly skim my shoulder, while I held perfectly still. The feeling of peace that washed over me was incredible and I sighed in contentment. I could have stayed there forever and been perfectly happy.
“Much better Isabella, you did well yesterday, and today looks just as good. I’m very proud of you. But tell me, is this a result of you paying attention or is it coincidence?”
“No Master, your girl has been paying attention and she will continue to from now on.” I was very sure about that statement. Edward tapped my shoulder and reluctantly I straightened. His hand was in front of my face and his thumb was up. It took me a second to realize that was the indication for me to look at him.
“That is good to know, Isabella.” He leaned to place a kiss on my head, “Now finish your meal so we can get on with our evening.”
As I went to move he stopped me with his hand motion. Then made a fist once again tilting it to the floor, “Sit.”
I was confused but sat on my bottom, and he handed me my plate so I could continue eating. I wasn’t sure if he was done eating or just satisfied that I was, either way he told me that I had twenty-five minutes to clean up and be prepared for him in the playroom before he left. I wasted no time in cleaning up and loading the dishwasher before heading towards the stairs.
The first thing I noticed as I entered the playroom was the music, it was soft and relaxing. The second thing was that the whole room was dimly lit and inviting; it was a stark difference from the last time I was in here.
I knew there wasn’t much time left so I quickly went to the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth before going into my closet. On the bench there was a pair of black latex panties and a hair scrunchie along with a note.
Isabella,
You are to wear the panties and bring the hair tie along with you.
Latex panties are not the simplest things to put on, I felt like an elephant trying to squeeze into a bikini. The material conformed to my skin and once they were on, I had no idea how the hell I was going to get them off. I knew it had taken me longer then it should have, so with the scrunchie on my wrist I went out to find my mat. It wasn’t where it normally was placed; Edward had put it in the far right corner of the room between the cross and the table.
As I waited, I glanced around the area. There were several candles burning but I didn’t notice any unusual scents, the room smelled as it always did of jasmine and lavender. The small round table that Edward uses had a large glass bowl on it and a small crock pot? along with a few more items that I couldn’t see very well. I took a deep breath and fixed my eyes on the floor just before Edward entered.
I heard him walking around opening cabinets and drawers before standing behind me. The mixture of uncertainty and excitement caused my nerves to spike and I had to concentrate very hard on my breathing to keep from looking into the mirrors at his face.
“You are so very beautiful Isabella.”
I inhaled deeply when I felt his hand run through the length of my hair and down my back to my wrist, pulling off the scrunchie. He walked around in front of me and made the hand signal for me to get up.
When I did, he had me walk backwards to the end of the table. “Sit,” he demanded with his voice along with the motion of his hand. When I sat I realized that the leather of the table was covered with a white sheet. Edward picked up the black leather restraints from the table and I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam over the other contents. He snapped his fingers in front of my face to get my attention, then stuck his thumb in the air tell me to look at him.
“What is on my table is none of your concern. Do you understand me?”
“Yes Sir.” I knew I shouldn’t have been nosey but I just couldn’t help myself.
Edward squatted to place my legs in the restraints. I thought he was going to separate them but he didn’t, instead he clipped them together the attached the connector to the bar at the bottom of the table. When he was happy with that he moved to my wrists where he also clipped them together and let them sit on my lap while he started braiding my hair.
“Lay down,” he ordered flipping his hand over as he said the words. While Edward was attaching my hands above my head, I thought about the hand motions he had been making all night. He has a way of using practical lessons and repetition in order to instruct me.
After he rechecked my restraints, Edward took the braid off my shoulder placing all my hair next to my head. “I would like you to be able to keep your eyes closed, but I don’t believe you will be able to, so I’m going to blindfold you.”
Once I was in the dark, Edward was right by my ear. “Tell me your safe words, Isabella.”
I didn’t hesitate, “yellow and red.”
“Good girl.”
While I lay there I focused on my breathing and the music in the back ground. It was still the soft meditating sounds from when I first came in. I could also hear what sounded like hands rubbing together and a second later those hands were on my body. Edward firmly massaged me with oil, over my shoulders down my ribs on my stomach then to my breasts. His hands felt so good and I felt like I was melting under his touch.
After a few more passes, I felt something firm press against the top of my breasts and move in a line down my body, sweeping over my stomach and then back up. On the next pass, there were two of them - one on each side, and the sensation was leaving me wanting. Each time he moved them over my breasts he complely ignored my nipples, and I began to arch my back needing to feel that on them.
It wasn’t pain, it was like a line of tiny finger nails moving over my skin; on the next pass he pressed firmer into my flesh but still avoided my nipples, and I moaned in frustration. I couldn’t understand why my body wanted to know what it would feel like so badly. “Ohhh…”
“What is it Isabella, what has you so annoyed?”
My skin was starting to tingle from the constant stimulation, turning into a slight sting, and I was finding it hard to stay still. Finally, he touched my nipples and I sucked in a breath as he flicked the teeth things over them.
“Oh…mmm…”
“Do you like that?”
“Yes sir.” I said through heavy breaths. It did feel really good, the only problem was the rest of my body was missing the attention and it began to feel like my skin was burning.
“Well, since you like that so much, let’s see how you like this.” A second later I felt the bite of the clamps.
“Mmmm…ohhh,” I gasped out my moan.
“Isabella, you make the most delectable noises.” His words radiated in my brain, and I calmed myself for a second, until I felt something hot touch my skin. But in reality it wasn’t hot, it was cold; freezing and melting –ice.
“You are going to need to hold very still.” I heard the words and the next thing I knew there was a freezing burn against my nipples. And something warm brushing over the rest of my breast. It was fire and ice and the two sensations together were exquisite.
The warm brush moved between my breasts in a line down to my navel and pooled there in a burning freezing blob. My mind was unable to tell the difference between the warmth and the cold; it was all just becoming one sensation and I could feel the desire in my body begin to grow. I wanted more, I needed to feel more.
Edward chuckled, I must have voiced my need out loud, but I didn’t care. My nipples were starting to throb and I realized there was something liquid running down over my ribs and the skin around my breasts was beginning to harden. The next thing I knew, drops of warm liquid (at least I think it was warm, it might have been freezing for all I knew) was dropped in small amounts under my breasts and around my navel. The drops became warmer, almost to the point of being unbearable, but then would lessen in severity.
Edward removed the blindfold, “Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them. Do you understand me Isabella?”
Did I understand him? Why couldn’t I get my mind to focus?
“Isabella,” his reprimand caused me to answer, “Yes Sir?”
“Do you understand me?” I heard his words but all I could focus on was the sensations happening in my body, but I answered, “Yes, Master.”
My answer must have sufficed because I felt a large puddle of heat on my stomach and then Edward’s fingers moving the puddle out up to my ribs and my breasts.
“Ohhh…,” I sighed.
Another puddle and more hands, “Ahhhh…,”
“Isabella, open your eyes.” I didn’t want to; I wanted to stay there in that happy spot where it felt so good and every nerve ending was on fire.
Edward was directly in front me with his dark eyes boring into mine. “Take a deep breath.” I did as I was told. “Another one.” I could feel his hands on my breasts. “Keep your eyes on me, and control yourself,” he warned. “One more deep breath.” As I sucked in the air, Edward’s hands moved on my breasts and I felt the biting sting of the clamps being released.
“Holy…Christ….Fuuuccckkk!” I screamed and I could feel the muscles in my body seize as a shudder of intense pain went through me.
I became aware of Edward’s hands running over my body moving down and tucking into the panties I had on. His hands were slippery and I realized that he must have applied more oil to them. The slickness of his hands made peeling the latex off my skin no problem at all. When they got down to my ankles he unhooked my feet from the table and then moved up to release my arms.
As I laid there he massaged my legs and shoulders finally sitting me up. With the restraints left in place he swung my legs so that I was facing the mirrors. When he stood me up, he kept a firm hold on my hips until I had my balance and then he moved behind me, lifting my head so I could look at myself in the mirror.
I gasped at the image before me, and raised my hands over my head so I could have an unconstructive view. My whole torso was covered with shiny wax. The only part that was clean was the area around my nipples. There was no actual design; the blue swirled around the white with no rhyme or reason. It reminded me of tye-dye except for the large white splat with clearly defined lines reaching up to my breasts and down to my hips.
“See how beautiful you are?” He whispered in my ear.
Edward moved away from me, quickly coming back with a silver metal comb which he began to graze over my skin. Pieces of wax fell from my body, as he got down to my breasts, the sensitive skin pulled and I sighed as the teeth raked over my nipples. I realized that it was the comb that he had used before, and that scratchy-tingly feeling on my skin began to resurface.
When the wax was completely gone, Edward wiped my body down with a towel before applying more oil to my flesh. He made the hand motion for me to kneel, but because I was still in the restraints he helped me to my knees. Then held his thumb up, telling me to look at him.
“Show me how much you appreciate my attentions.”
I knew what he wanted me to do, and I didn’t need to be asked twice. As I pulled his zipper down, the looseness of his pants caused them to fall down around his hips and his dick to spring out. I didn’t mess around with teasing him; I quickly sucked him into the back of my throat and was rewarded with a growl. I used my mouth on him the best way I knew how, cocking my head and opening my throat to take as much of him as I possibly could.
Edward began to groan and move his hips in rhythm with my mouth, his hands held on to the back of my head and I moaned around him.
“Fuck…Isabella,” his voice was low and throaty.
I used my tongue along the underside of his shaft, while my teeth skimmed the top making him hiss. I loved that I could bring him pleasure, and hated the fact that because of my actions he was denying himself what he enjoyed. His dick budged and I expected him to pull away from me, but he didn’t. I opened my throat and swallowed his warm thick cum.
Total elation washed over me, and at first I thought maybe he didn’t mean to finish in my mouth, that it was an accident. As I continued to clean Edward off I looked up at him through my lashes, his face held no expression. When I was done I pulled back from him and he cupped my chin.
“Isabella, don’t make me regret that decision.” I knew what he was saying, that he trusted me with my eating habits, that I was being rewarded for monitoring myself, and that he forgave me.
“Thank you, Master.” I tried to pour as much gratitude into my words as I could.
“For what Isabella?” I answered with the first thought that came to my mind.
“For trusting this one,”
His dark eyes held mine with an intensity that made me know that I was loved.
“It’s a see-saw Isabella.”
Edward and I were sitting in the kitchen. I knew this kitchen with its high white cupboards, yellow curtains, and the aroma of molasses cookies baking. This was grand’s kitchen; I haven’t been here since I was a little girl. Grand-dad sat across from Edward talking, I could see their lips moving but I couldn’t hear a thing they were saying. The phone was ringing and drowning out their words, but their mouths kept moving like they could hear each other.
The phone stopped and someone touched my arm when I turned to look it was grand. Her round face was just inches from mine and I wanted so much to touch her, but she held her hand up.
“Bella, they’re gone.”
I looked through the gold rimmed glasses into her eyes; trying to understand I asked, “who is gone?”
She didn’t answer only inclining her head towards Edward, who smiled at me then stood and began to walk towards the window. I went to get up to follow him but grand had my arm making me look at her.
I called to Edward, “don’t leave, wait, please I love you, don’t leave me!”
He kept walking into the sunlight; it was so bright I could barely see the outline of his body. I called after him again, “Edward, wait!” I wretched my arm free from grand’s grasp, running to try to catch him.
Grand called, “he’s coming Bella, stay close.”
I stopped and turned to face her, “who’s coming?”
She didn’t answer and when I looked over my shoulder Edward was even further into the brightness and I had to squint my eyes in an attempt to shield them as I ran towards him. I had almost reached him when grand pulled my arm spinning me around to look at her. She was once again inches from my face and the look in her eyes was fierce and I was afraid as she warned, “stay in the light Bella, he’s coming.”
My eyes shot open to a blinding light coming through the window. The bright morning sun was making a rare appearance. I let out a quick sigh and Edward’s arms tightened around me, “I got ya babe.”
Was he sleep-talking?
“Are you awake?” I whispered against his neck.
“The question is, are you awake?”
I giggled, “yes, I thought you were talking in your sleep.”
Edward shifted his shoulder under my head and then made a humming noise in his throat, “hmm…no, but I have been listening to you ramble on for the last hour.”
“I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“You didn’t disturb me,” he said placing a kiss on my head. “I was going to get up and shower, but I was too engrossed to move.” I couldn’t see it but I could hear the grin on his face. “What were you dreaming about? You kept saying, ‘too bright…don’t leave’ and something about molasses.”
I recounted as much of my dream as I could remember finally telling him, “at the end, it was like Grand was trying to warn me, she said to stay in the light. Then when I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes. What do you think that meant?”
Edward rolled his body so I was laying flat on the bed, while he was propped on his arm looking down into my eyes. “You have the most vivid dreams.” He said brushing the hair out of my face. “I think all that talk last night about your mother and death, came out in your dreams.”
That made sense; they always say that when you die, you go into the light. Or maybe Edward was my light and my desire to stay with him worked its way out of my subconscious. Either way, it was just a dream and my reality was lying next to me, looking better than anyone should after just waking up.
Edward’s lips met mine is a soft sweet kiss, my hands wrapped around the back of his neck pulling myself closer to him. I could feel the heat radiate off his body making my skin burn. My lips parted and our kiss deepened to the point where desire became my only focus. My hand ran down his shoulder over his chest and stomach to brush against his very hard dick and he groaned against my mouth.
“Bella,” his voice was pleading and I could feel him twitching against my hand.
“Edward, make love to me.”
His eyes snapped open looking deep into mine.
“Please…?”
“No Bella,” I could hear the uncertainty and want in his voice, “no, I can’t.”
“Please Edward…please? I need to feel you inside me.”
“Bella, I’m begging you…don’t make it harder than it already is.” I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Don’t you want to?” My eyes roamed over his bare chest and he cupped my chin to make me look at him.
“Of course I want to, I always want to, and I find it very hard to deny you.”
So what is the problem then? “Then don’t.” Yes, I was pleading and I thought for a few seconds that maybe I had won.
“Bella, I want to make love to you tenderly and worship every part of your body the way you deserve, but not when you are denied release. I can’t and I won’t do that to you. Please don’t ask me to?”
My eyes left his, and when they came back I could see the pain in his face. His desire matched mine and I could tell this was just as difficult for him, but I wanted him so badly and I needed to know that he still took pleasure in me.
“Then fuck me Edward, take me for your own gratification.” I could see him warring with himself as his eyes locked onto mine, “Please…Sir, use me. I need to know…,” I didn’t get to finish my sentence.
Edward grabbed ahold of my hands holding them against my stomach with his, and in one cunning move flipped me over.
“Get on your knees.”
It took me a second to get my bearings before I could move. As soon as I could get my ass in the air, Edward’s other hand was running through my slit. A sigh of want escaped my mouth.
“Oh no, Isabella this is not about you,” he said as his fingers dove into me. “Always so yearning, my little slut.”
I couldn’t help it, his words added to the fire my body was feeling and my hips wiggled against his fingers.
“I don’t think you are going to be able to control yourself.” Edward’s hand left me and wrapped around my hair.
“If I fuck you it will be for my pleasure, not yours. Don’t you orgasm and force me to punish you again!”
I tried to look in his face, but the way he had my hands and the grip he held on my hair I was unable to move. My voice came out strong with my resolve of wanting him to just take me. “Yes Sir, your slut will control herself.”
“She’d better,” Edward was stern in his warning as he let my hands go and moved behind me pushing my shoulders down into the bed and entering me in one swift move. I bit my lip to keep from crying out at the feeling of fullness.
Edward’s hands held my hips tightly as he moved inside me with a steady pounding rhythm. It was hard and fast in its voraciousness making me withered under the onslaught, and I enjoyed every second of it. There was something about his taking me so forcefully for his own pleasure that fulfilled the need I had at that moment. He grabbed my hips impossibly tighter slammed into me two more times and withdrew from me spilling his cum on my back. My own heavy breathing matched his and even though I did not have a release a feeling of satisfaction washed over me and I was in total bliss.
“Is that what you needed Isabella?” the words came out among heavy breaths.
“Yes Sir,” it was exactly what I needed.
“Why?”
My eyes closed and the truth came out of my mouth, “I needed to know…that you still want me.”
Edward reached across my body and I could hear the tissues being released from the box, he cleaned my back and then lifted my body towards him. His hands cradled my face forcing me to meet his gaze.
“I want you every second of every day. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you, I’ve never wanted anyone or anything so much in my life. Don’t you ever doubt that.”
I heard his words and saw the reality in his eyes and I knew he meant what he said. But there was a part of me down deep that still questioned the rationale of how that could be. Edward must have seen my misgivings at the validity of his statement.
“How can you not see what is right in front of you?” I didn’t answer him because I figured it was a rhetorical question. His gaze began to make me uncomfortable and I broke the silence with own truth.
“No one has ever told me I was worth anything, Edward.” I could feel the tears fill my eyes as the reality of my words took hold.
“Well you are worth everything to me Isabella and eventually I hope you see that.”
I watched him move from the bed to go into the bathroom. I sat there for a minute thinking about his words. I knew that my insecurities had upset him, and I was sorry for that. The last thing I wanted to do was give him another reason to be displeased with me.
Edward was standing at the sink brushing his teeth, the muscles in his shoulder flexing as his arm moved. I reached out to run my fingers down the length of his spine before wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head between his shoulder blades.
“I’m trying Edward, please don’t be mad at me.” I could hear the air leave his lungs.
“Bella, I’m not mad at you. I am furious with a world that would allow so much hurt into your life. I want to take it all away. Right now…today, but I can’t and that makes me feel inadequate. I know it’s going to take time and a lot of reassurance and baby…,” he stopped abruptly.
“What?” I wanted him to finish his thought.
Instead he turned around to face me, “Nothing…,”
I knew there was something but I had no clue what it was.
“…I told you last night I would give you all the time you needed, and I’m not going to push you, so…nothing. When you’re ready to let go of the shame you carry, you’ll tell me.”
I did carry shame. I was mortified that I allowed myself to become a victim. Embarrassed that I wasn’t smart enough to see the signs before it became so bad. I was humiliated that I wasn’t strong enough to get out before there was permanent damage done to my body. More than anything, after all the years of therapy, I was reluctant to admit that the memories of the abuse still held a predominate place in my life.
“I don’t know how to get rid of it Edward.” The pads of his thumps wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I’m right here Bella. When you’re ready, share it with me and I’ll help you bare the load. I want to be everything you need; regardless of whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or a hard fucking, I will be whatever you need me to be, because I love you and want you to be complete.
I let his words settle in my mind and I wondered as I often did, how I got so lucky as to find a man who not only wants to give a shoulder to cry on but also a … “Hard fucking?” I asked with a grin.
“Anytime baby, you don’t have to ask me twice.”
I giggled laying my head against his chest, while his arms held me close. “Oh Edward…I love you.”
He let out a long drawn out sigh and then kissed my hair. “It’s a nice day so I’m going for run, do you want to come?”
“I don’t run very fast.” I warned him, but he didn’t care.
It was a beautiful day for a run. Seth enjoyed the exercise and I could see what Edward said about taking him along, he was the perfect companion. There were only a few people on the trail, an elderly couple walking a gigantic Rottweiler and a woman pushing one of those strollers designed for jogging.
On the way back we stopped by my house, I hadn’t been there since Tuesday. I had amassed a fair amount of belongings at Edward’s, but I did want to take some sweatshirts and something appropriate to sleep in at the cabin. I had also bought a new dress that I thought Edward would approve of me wearing Sunday night to New Moon. Once everything was gathered, I wrapped the roses that were still alive in wax paper to take with me and we walked back to Edward’s.
There wasn’t much time left before I had to be at the center; so after a quick shower Edward drove me in to work after stopping to get coffee and a bagel. I thought maybe this was his way of making sure that I didn’t drive to get anyone today, but I kept that thought to myself.
The center was abuzz with excitement, it was moving day and anytime one of the women leave it’s a time of mixed emotions, elation mingled with apprehension. I suppose it could be equated to a child leaving home. Peggy had stopped by for one more hug, and as they left Carol told me she could be reached by phone if I needed her and warned me to stay here. She didn’t have to warn me, I had counseling sessions scheduled and no car to go anywhere.
Melissa was the next one who would be leaving; she and her three children had been here six weeks already. It becomes harder to place women with children. She can’t go into the boarding homes and even though the father is an abusive bastard he still has rights to the children. The one thing that Missy has going for her is that two weeks ago her husband was put back in prison for a parole violation. In the mean time, she has been busy filing for sole custody and working on improving her job skills. Now if I could just find her a CSR position that paid enough, she would be good to go.
I walked back to the community room; the children were gathered around one of the tables with some of the mothers and Gail making butterfly magnets out of coffee filters. Two of the women were over at the stove making lunch and Sally sat alone in the corner, staring at the table.
“How are you doing?” I asked sitting down next to her. I don’t like to ask that question because I always get the standard answer.
“I’m fine.” Yup- that’s the one. Sally looked up from the table, “I’m sorry I got you in trouble Bella, are they going to fire you?”
I smiled at her concern. “You didn’t get me in trouble…,” at least none that I was willing to tell her about, and that wasn’t her fault, “…and no, they won’t fire me.” I didn’t add my volunteer status because that just opens up a bunch of personal questions.
“Oh, good,” she grew quiet looking over towards the children. “The kids miss their rooms, I don’t think they like it here.”
I followed her gaze as she spoke. “They look alright to me. Joey is having fun with Michael and Zachary and look, even little Nicky is full of marker.” I chuckled at the little round face with splotches of pink and blue ink on it.
“Yeah, but…Joey goes to school three days a week, he’s missing it.”
“I believe Gail runs the preschool here, he won’t miss anything.” She didn’t answer and I could see the doubts in her mind. “I’ll tell you what, let them finish here, get your lunch, and then come see me like we planned and we’ll talk about it.”
Sally remained quiet only nodding in agreement.
“Hello Doctor Cullen!” The children called out. I didn’t know that Carlisle was coming in today. I watched as he sat down in an empty chair; I patted Sally’s hand then went over to join the craft table. A few of the children said hello, but I didn’t get near the response that Carlisle did. Haley asked him what his favorite color was, and then proceeded to make him a magnet.
“Hey Bella?” Dana called from over by the stove.
“What?” I asked looking up.
“Who was that guy here the other day? What was his name Tammy?” She asked sarcastically to the woman standing next her. This was not going to be good.
“Umm…I think it was Ed-ward? Yeah, that’s what I heard.”
Son-of-a-bitch! They would have to do this in front of Carlisle.
“Yeah, and a little birdie told me that he is Bella’s…” Dana looked over toward the children, and then grinned at me, “…mattress dancer…” Tammy giggled at her choice of words, “…and I also heard that he would win Dancing with the Stars, hands down.” The two of them stood there giggling while I could feel my face heat up. When I chanced a glance at Carlisle his head was down and he was pretending to be oblivious to the conversation.
“Yes, his name is Edward and we are…together.” There, that sounded safe.
Tammy held up one finger on each hand wiggling them as she said, “together? Or…” she then made two fists banging them against each other, “…To-geth-er?”
Oh, fuck my life! My whole face felt hot like it was going to pop at any moment, “Never mind Bella…We know!” and they laughed, along with the other four women in the room and when I glanced over, even Carlisle was snickering.
“Ahhh…Edward is Dr. Cullen’s son.”
That admission only made them laugh more.
“Hey Doc, you got anymore sons? I haven’t been dancing in a long time.”
Carlisle looked up his blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “I believe they are all spoken for Dana.” He glanced at me grinning.
“Alright, that’s enough humor at Bella’s expense.” I said getting up after little Lisa handed me a pink butterfly.
“No, seriously Bella, when do we get to meet him? Because, no offence Doc, but he better be one fine man if we’re going to allow Bella to hang around with him.”
“Allow?” I clarified, but they only nodded at my chuckle. “Don’t worry my two little mother’s, Edward is a perfect gentleman.”
“Well…he doesn’t have to be a gentleman all the time.” Dana said raising her eyebrows suggestively.
I smirked at her.
“That’s it; I’m going back to my office.” I said getting up.
“Wait Bella! When are we going to meet him?” Tammy called to me. I turned around glancing quickly at a standoffish Sally telling them, “You’re not.”
“Ahh… you’re no fun!”
I laughed at their indignation, “Bye ladies, enjoy your lunch.”
I walked back down to the office area and Carlisle joined me carrying his blue butterfly.
“Sally is thinking about leaving.”
“I know. I’ll be surprised if she is still here Monday.” There was nothing I could do to stop her, this wasn’t a prison, and she could leave anytime she wanted to. I would try and talk to her later, but I wasn’t going to count on changing her mind.
“What are you having for lunch?” Carlisle asked me and I shrugged.
“I was going to make tuna, but…I didn’t want to stay in there with those women anymore.”
He chuckled at my awkwardness. “Esme sent Minestrone and Greek Salad, care to join me?”
“Do you have enough?”
He smiled, “plenty.”
Esme not only sent the food, there were also plates, bowls, utensils, and linen napkins. Lunch with Carlisle was a nice affair. The conversation was pleasant and I believe I talked more comfortably with him in that half hour then I did with Charlie in the ten years we lived together. Not that I couldn’t talk to my father, he just wasn’t much of a conversationalist.
When we were done with lunch I headed back to my office to meet with Sally. She was looking for any reason she could think of to go back. I knew that cycle, although when I finally left James, I had no intention of returning and I never did, of course that didn’t stop him from coming to me. I listened to all her reasons and I countered the best I could without making her feel guilty. Battered women carry enough guilt and the last thing I wanted to do was add to it in order to manipulate her. It had to be her decision to stay, which after almost two hours of talking I was sure she would not be.
When she left my office, I sat with my head in my hands. I was ready to go home and take a long hot shower to get ready for tonight. I had to call Edward because he was my ride home.
“Hi Baby!” His voice sounded happy, and I could hear Emmett in the back ground, “Hello little Bella, how come you guys aren’t coming tonight?”
Edward sighed, “You still there Bella?”
Emmett was still complaining about having to play some silly game Alice thought up.
“Yes, I was wondering if you can come and get me? If you’re busy, I’ll call a cab.”
“I’m not going to have you take a cab Bella; I’ll be in twenty minutes.”
“Thank you.”
We hung up, and I wrote Carol a note telling her I would be gone for the weekend and my concerns about Sally. Carlisle was leaving, he and Esme had plans for the weekend as well; they were going to some Bed and Breakfast in Oregon. I thought that was romantic and I hoped that after thirty some years of marriage I would be as lucky as to still be madly in love with my spouse.
I sat on the stoop waiting for Edward, it wasn’t quite four o’clock but people were starting to go home from their work day. The center wasn’t exactly in what I would call a bad neighborhood, but if it would have been dark out I would have been uncomfortable sitting here alone. Three doors down an elderly woman was pulling one of those carrying carts up the stairs. She seemed to be having trouble, so I went to see if I could assist her.
“Mama, can I help you?”
She looked at me through her lashes, “that’s very kind of you; it was heavier than I thought.”
I took ahold of the handle while her frail wrinkled hands let go, and I began tugging it up the stairs one at a time. When I got to the top, she had already opened the door, and I just wheeled it into the vestibule.
“Thank you dear, I can take it from here.” She took ahold of my hand as I stepped back on to the stoop. She was just a little old lady with a babushka wrapped around her hair, and a hole in her green sweater.
“You’re welcome. Have a nice weekend.” As I was walking down the stairs Edward pulled up, eyeing me leaving the woman’s house.
“Hi,” I said getting into the car. Before I could snap my seat belt, Edward reached over to take my hand pulling me closer for a kiss.
“Hello Baby, how was your day?”
The car behind us blew his horn and while Edward drove we talked about our day. He worked outside in the yard most of the day and then Emmett came over to pick up a pressure washer. They were still going tonight and Edward told me that Emmett promised the hot tub would be up and running by tomorrow night. That was the only thing he had promised to have done before we arrived tomorrow.
When we got home Edward said that there was a surprise up in my room. When I walked in, there on the bed was my dress I brought here this morning, along with three white garment bags. As I opened them I discovered all the outfits that Alice had made for me. The hobble dress was on the bottom along with a note.
Bella
I know that Edward is dying to see you in this.
But I’m asking that you don’t let him see it on you until
you wear it for the 25th Anniversary Party.
Let the anticipation eat him alive..hahaha
Alice
I laughed, crumbling up the piece of paper and sure enough Edward was at my door, wanting to see it on me.
“Sorry Edward, Alice say’s no. You’ll have to wait.”
The most adorable pout formed on his face as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Bella, I’ve been waiting for over two weeks to see this, don’t make me wait anymore.”
I held the deep blue leather dress out of the bag, showing it to him. “See?”
He huffed, “that’s not what I mean. Come on Bella try it on, I won’t tell her.” I looked in his pleading eyes and it was hard to say no but I felt like I owed it to Alice.
“Edward, she wouldn’t let me pay for it, so the least I can do is honor her request. Besides, it’s not that far away.” The pout still didn’t leave his face; I put the dress down and stepped between his open legs, cupping his chin to make him look at me.
“I tell you what, if you can be a good boy and not pester me about that dress, I’ll try on all the other stuff and the dress that I want to wear on Sunday.”
He got a little evil glint in his eyes, “A ‘good boy,’ huh?”
I nodded while he firmly squeezed my bottom. “Yup, because right now you’re acting kind of naughty.”
“I’ll give you naughty,” he said with a swat. “Go, try on your clothes. Can you start with the dress?”
I wasn’t sure why he had made that request, but it didn’t matter to me. When we were shopping the other day I had seen the dress, and it got the total Cullen Women approval. The silver material clung to my body, while the whole back was open except for a bronze chain that draped between my shoulder blades. The pucker in the material at the small of my back caused the dress to curve around my bottom before it ended halfway down my thighs. From the front it looked simple; from the back it was very dramatic.
I stepped out of the bathroom and Edward smiled and said, “that looks nice.”
Nice?
I gathered my hair over my left shoulder, turned my back to him and then looked back to see his reaction. His eyes grew and his mouth dropped open making me smirk.
“Is it still nice, Edward?”
He was sitting there staring at all the exposed skin. “No, that dress is exceptional.”
Edward got up coming to stand behind me; his hands ran up my stomach to cup my breasts.
“Bella,” he growled in my ear, “you won’t be able to wear a bra with this.”
I shook my head while his lips moved to skim over my neck.
“Do you want to see the things Alice made or not?” He sighed, letting go of me and sitting back down. I made my way into the bathroom and as I looked at the items in the bags I realized there were things in there that I wasn’t sure I knew how to put on, or what went with what. I figured I would just take my chances.
All five pieces were shiny black or red, and unlike the dress that was soft to the touch, these were stiff and rigid. I figured I would break them up into two different outfits, but in all honesty each piece was interchangeable so there were many different possibilities.
I wiggled into a contraption that reminded me of a chastity device. It came up high over my waist with a corset type closing over my stomach. There were eight red straps with garter clips on the end. I looked through the bag, and bless her heart, Alice had a pair of fishnets in the bottom. The bra was black with red demi cups and the black waist cincher finished off the look.
“What do you think?” I asked while Edward raised his eyebrows and I turned for him to get the full view.
“Well, how does that make you feel?”
I thought about that and only one word came to my mind.
“Powerful,” I giggled. “I feel like I should have a whip in my hand.”
His laughter drowned out the sound of my own. “I think I would like to see that!” After a few more giggles I opened up the waist cincher and wiggled out of it.
“The pieces are nice; I just have to figure out the right combinations. Let me show you the rest.”
The last two were simple to figure out. They consisted of a pair of red crotchless panties that also came up high on my waist and a halter top with a built in shelf bra. Stepping out of the bathroom I felt more like myself.
“That’s more like it.” I smiled at his comment, and I had to agree, “this does feel more like me.”
When I came out of the bathroom I was wearing my robe, and Edward held his hand out silently asking me to go to him. I sat in his lap while he ran his hands down the length of my inner thigh.
“You know how you would come to the house at six o’clock and that would get you into the right frame of mind?” I thought I understood what he was talking about. “The thing is that now you are already here and if we just go about our business it might be hard for you to get into sub-mode. So I was thinking that when we’re here together, you should remain in your room and then come down prepared.”
“You want me to stay up here?”
He nodded. “Just be in the kitchen at six, and I want you to be wearing only this.” He handed me a white lace chef’s apron, as I scrutinized it Edward continued, “If you take a shower, make sure your hair is dry and I believe that is it.”
I looked at the clock as he left; deciding since I had an hour, I was going to take a shower. I didn’t wash my hair so that left me time to lay down and rest before putting on the apron and heading down to the kitchen. I had to quickly run back up the stairs because I had forgotten the journal, but I was on time when I entered the room to find Edward by the stove. Standing behind him in my presentation position it didn’t take him long to acknowledge me.
“Good Evening Isabella.”
“Good Evening Master.”
Edward turned to look at me.
“We are going to be eating in the dining room tonight, please see that the table is set.”
“Yes Sir.”
I hadn’t served him in a formal setting yet. Edward had shown me what was expected, but as of yet we have only eaten in the kitchen. My hands touched the lace on my thigh and the necessity of the apron became clear.
Everything was on the table except for the plates, and when I went into the kitchen Edward didn’t give me time to present myself before he spoke.
“Everything is ready for the table; I would like cranberry juice.” That was all he said before leaving.
I looked on the counters; there was a basket of bread, a salad, and a tray of lasagna. I started with the juice, taking it in to him and remembering to keep my head down as I held the glass out in front of him. After a few seconds he spoke without looking at me.
“Isabella, I know I told you it was unnecessary for you to kneel when serving, however, for tonight I will not accept anything from your hand while your head is higher than mine, kneel.”
As he said kneel, his flat hand lowered four inches alongside his body. I did as he directed holding the glass out in front of me. After Edward accepted it, he flipped his hand so his palm was up and raised it - in effect, telling me to rise. Each time I brought in another item Edward would remain quiet, instead using the same hand motions to tell me what to do. After taking the plate of lasagna, he never motioned for me to get up and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I stayed where I was, quietly kneeling while he began to eat.
After a few minutes his hand motioned for me to rise, and when I brought my plate into the dining room, Edward held his hand up in an indication to halt, then to kneel. I was confused again but did as I was told.
“The kitchen table is yours where you may sit and eat at your leisure; however, you are to ask permission to sit at my table.”
“Master, may your girl join you at the table for her meal?” I kept my head straight and my eyes down speaking clearly.
“She may, as long as her head remains lower than mine.”
Ok, how was I supposed to do that?
I thought for a second then began to move forward on my knees, placing my plate on the table before sliding into the chair. Edward watched me expectantly, but I had no clue what he wanted from me.
“Isabella, it is customary to show gratitude for any privilege you are awarded.” There was no malice in his words, it was pure instruction, and he was waiting for me to respond. I thought I would keep it simple.
“Thank you Master for allowing me…,”
“Who?”
Damn!
I started again this time concentrating on my words. “Your girl is sorry for her choice of words, and she is very thankful to her Master for being allowed to join him at his table.”
Edward nodded his head once, “She is most welcome, continue.” and he swished his hand in a go-on kind of gesture. Dinner proceeded in a comfortable silence; we were half way through when Edward asked about my journal.
“Your girl has left it in the kitchen, Sir.”
“Please retrieve it,” he said, making that go-on swish motion with his hand. As I went to stand, Edward’s hand came up to halt my movement and he singled for me to kneel. When I did what was asked of me he gestured for me to go. I stayed on my knees until I was at the doorway, returning to them on my way back in.
Edward was still sitting, but he was maneuvered so his chair was away from the table and facing the doorway. I kept my eyes down as I moved along on my knees holding the book out for him. Taking it from me, I watched the motion of his other hand, his fingers were vertical with his thumb in the air and he moved them towards his body as he said, “Come to me.”
I had nowhere else to go but between his legs. Edward made a fist sticking his thumb in the air. “Look at me little one.” As my eyes met his I couldn’t see any emotion there, he was in total Dom-mode.
“I know it has only been two days, but am I going to be displeased with your eating?”
“No Sir,” of that I was very sure. After talking with Jane, I have been making a point to be more diligent in monitoring myself.
“Well, we shall see.” Edward held his hand out like he was going to tell me to kneel, but instead his fingers dropped to form an ‘L’ as he said, “Relax.”
I closed my eyes and laid my head against his thigh. Edward’s hand ran through my hair several times sweeping it away from my face. The back of his hand ran down my cheek and neck to lightly skim my shoulder, while I held perfectly still. The feeling of peace that washed over me was incredible and I sighed in contentment. I could have stayed there forever and been perfectly happy.
“Much better Isabella, you did well yesterday, and today looks just as good. I’m very proud of you. But tell me, is this a result of you paying attention or is it coincidence?”
“No Master, your girl has been paying attention and she will continue to from now on.” I was very sure about that statement. Edward tapped my shoulder and reluctantly I straightened. His hand was in front of my face and his thumb was up. It took me a second to realize that was the indication for me to look at him.
“That is good to know, Isabella.” He leaned to place a kiss on my head, “Now finish your meal so we can get on with our evening.”
As I went to move he stopped me with his hand motion. Then made a fist once again tilting it to the floor, “Sit.”
I was confused but sat on my bottom, and he handed me my plate so I could continue eating. I wasn’t sure if he was done eating or just satisfied that I was, either way he told me that I had twenty-five minutes to clean up and be prepared for him in the playroom before he left. I wasted no time in cleaning up and loading the dishwasher before heading towards the stairs.
The first thing I noticed as I entered the playroom was the music, it was soft and relaxing. The second thing was that the whole room was dimly lit and inviting; it was a stark difference from the last time I was in here.
I knew there wasn’t much time left so I quickly went to the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth before going into my closet. On the bench there was a pair of black latex panties and a hair scrunchie along with a note.
Isabella,
You are to wear the panties and bring the hair tie along with you.
Latex panties are not the simplest things to put on, I felt like an elephant trying to squeeze into a bikini. The material conformed to my skin and once they were on, I had no idea how the hell I was going to get them off. I knew it had taken me longer then it should have, so with the scrunchie on my wrist I went out to find my mat. It wasn’t where it normally was placed; Edward had put it in the far right corner of the room between the cross and the table.
As I waited, I glanced around the area. There were several candles burning but I didn’t notice any unusual scents, the room smelled as it always did of jasmine and lavender. The small round table that Edward uses had a large glass bowl on it and a small crock pot? along with a few more items that I couldn’t see very well. I took a deep breath and fixed my eyes on the floor just before Edward entered.
I heard him walking around opening cabinets and drawers before standing behind me. The mixture of uncertainty and excitement caused my nerves to spike and I had to concentrate very hard on my breathing to keep from looking into the mirrors at his face.
“You are so very beautiful Isabella.”
I inhaled deeply when I felt his hand run through the length of my hair and down my back to my wrist, pulling off the scrunchie. He walked around in front of me and made the hand signal for me to get up.
When I did, he had me walk backwards to the end of the table. “Sit,” he demanded with his voice along with the motion of his hand. When I sat I realized that the leather of the table was covered with a white sheet. Edward picked up the black leather restraints from the table and I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam over the other contents. He snapped his fingers in front of my face to get my attention, then stuck his thumb in the air tell me to look at him.
“What is on my table is none of your concern. Do you understand me?”
“Yes Sir.” I knew I shouldn’t have been nosey but I just couldn’t help myself.
Edward squatted to place my legs in the restraints. I thought he was going to separate them but he didn’t, instead he clipped them together the attached the connector to the bar at the bottom of the table. When he was happy with that he moved to my wrists where he also clipped them together and let them sit on my lap while he started braiding my hair.
“Lay down,” he ordered flipping his hand over as he said the words. While Edward was attaching my hands above my head, I thought about the hand motions he had been making all night. He has a way of using practical lessons and repetition in order to instruct me.
After he rechecked my restraints, Edward took the braid off my shoulder placing all my hair next to my head. “I would like you to be able to keep your eyes closed, but I don’t believe you will be able to, so I’m going to blindfold you.”
Once I was in the dark, Edward was right by my ear. “Tell me your safe words, Isabella.”
I didn’t hesitate, “yellow and red.”
“Good girl.”
While I lay there I focused on my breathing and the music in the back ground. It was still the soft meditating sounds from when I first came in. I could also hear what sounded like hands rubbing together and a second later those hands were on my body. Edward firmly massaged me with oil, over my shoulders down my ribs on my stomach then to my breasts. His hands felt so good and I felt like I was melting under his touch.
After a few more passes, I felt something firm press against the top of my breasts and move in a line down my body, sweeping over my stomach and then back up. On the next pass, there were two of them - one on each side, and the sensation was leaving me wanting. Each time he moved them over my breasts he complely ignored my nipples, and I began to arch my back needing to feel that on them.
It wasn’t pain, it was like a line of tiny finger nails moving over my skin; on the next pass he pressed firmer into my flesh but still avoided my nipples, and I moaned in frustration. I couldn’t understand why my body wanted to know what it would feel like so badly. “Ohhh…”
“What is it Isabella, what has you so annoyed?”
My skin was starting to tingle from the constant stimulation, turning into a slight sting, and I was finding it hard to stay still. Finally, he touched my nipples and I sucked in a breath as he flicked the teeth things over them.
“Oh…mmm…”
“Do you like that?”
“Yes sir.” I said through heavy breaths. It did feel really good, the only problem was the rest of my body was missing the attention and it began to feel like my skin was burning.
“Well, since you like that so much, let’s see how you like this.” A second later I felt the bite of the clamps.
“Mmmm…ohhh,” I gasped out my moan.
“Isabella, you make the most delectable noises.” His words radiated in my brain, and I calmed myself for a second, until I felt something hot touch my skin. But in reality it wasn’t hot, it was cold; freezing and melting –ice.
“You are going to need to hold very still.” I heard the words and the next thing I knew there was a freezing burn against my nipples. And something warm brushing over the rest of my breast. It was fire and ice and the two sensations together were exquisite.
The warm brush moved between my breasts in a line down to my navel and pooled there in a burning freezing blob. My mind was unable to tell the difference between the warmth and the cold; it was all just becoming one sensation and I could feel the desire in my body begin to grow. I wanted more, I needed to feel more.
Edward chuckled, I must have voiced my need out loud, but I didn’t care. My nipples were starting to throb and I realized there was something liquid running down over my ribs and the skin around my breasts was beginning to harden. The next thing I knew, drops of warm liquid (at least I think it was warm, it might have been freezing for all I knew) was dropped in small amounts under my breasts and around my navel. The drops became warmer, almost to the point of being unbearable, but then would lessen in severity.
Edward removed the blindfold, “Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them. Do you understand me Isabella?”
Did I understand him? Why couldn’t I get my mind to focus?
“Isabella,” his reprimand caused me to answer, “Yes Sir?”
“Do you understand me?” I heard his words but all I could focus on was the sensations happening in my body, but I answered, “Yes, Master.”
My answer must have sufficed because I felt a large puddle of heat on my stomach and then Edward’s fingers moving the puddle out up to my ribs and my breasts.
“Ohhh…,” I sighed.
Another puddle and more hands, “Ahhhh…,”
“Isabella, open your eyes.” I didn’t want to; I wanted to stay there in that happy spot where it felt so good and every nerve ending was on fire.
Edward was directly in front me with his dark eyes boring into mine. “Take a deep breath.” I did as I was told. “Another one.” I could feel his hands on my breasts. “Keep your eyes on me, and control yourself,” he warned. “One more deep breath.” As I sucked in the air, Edward’s hands moved on my breasts and I felt the biting sting of the clamps being released.
“Holy…Christ….Fuuuccckkk!” I screamed and I could feel the muscles in my body seize as a shudder of intense pain went through me.
I became aware of Edward’s hands running over my body moving down and tucking into the panties I had on. His hands were slippery and I realized that he must have applied more oil to them. The slickness of his hands made peeling the latex off my skin no problem at all. When they got down to my ankles he unhooked my feet from the table and then moved up to release my arms.
As I laid there he massaged my legs and shoulders finally sitting me up. With the restraints left in place he swung my legs so that I was facing the mirrors. When he stood me up, he kept a firm hold on my hips until I had my balance and then he moved behind me, lifting my head so I could look at myself in the mirror.
I gasped at the image before me, and raised my hands over my head so I could have an unconstructive view. My whole torso was covered with shiny wax. The only part that was clean was the area around my nipples. There was no actual design; the blue swirled around the white with no rhyme or reason. It reminded me of tye-dye except for the large white splat with clearly defined lines reaching up to my breasts and down to my hips.
“See how beautiful you are?” He whispered in my ear.
Edward moved away from me, quickly coming back with a silver metal comb which he began to graze over my skin. Pieces of wax fell from my body, as he got down to my breasts, the sensitive skin pulled and I sighed as the teeth raked over my nipples. I realized that it was the comb that he had used before, and that scratchy-tingly feeling on my skin began to resurface.
When the wax was completely gone, Edward wiped my body down with a towel before applying more oil to my flesh. He made the hand motion for me to kneel, but because I was still in the restraints he helped me to my knees. Then held his thumb up, telling me to look at him.
“Show me how much you appreciate my attentions.”
I knew what he wanted me to do, and I didn’t need to be asked twice. As I pulled his zipper down, the looseness of his pants caused them to fall down around his hips and his dick to spring out. I didn’t mess around with teasing him; I quickly sucked him into the back of my throat and was rewarded with a growl. I used my mouth on him the best way I knew how, cocking my head and opening my throat to take as much of him as I possibly could.
Edward began to groan and move his hips in rhythm with my mouth, his hands held on to the back of my head and I moaned around him.
“Fuck…Isabella,” his voice was low and throaty.
I used my tongue along the underside of his shaft, while my teeth skimmed the top making him hiss. I loved that I could bring him pleasure, and hated the fact that because of my actions he was denying himself what he enjoyed. His dick budged and I expected him to pull away from me, but he didn’t. I opened my throat and swallowed his warm thick cum.
Total elation washed over me, and at first I thought maybe he didn’t mean to finish in my mouth, that it was an accident. As I continued to clean Edward off I looked up at him through my lashes, his face held no expression. When I was done I pulled back from him and he cupped my chin.
“Isabella, don’t make me regret that decision.” I knew what he was saying, that he trusted me with my eating habits, that I was being rewarded for monitoring myself, and that he forgave me.
“Thank you, Master.” I tried to pour as much gratitude into my words as I could.
“For what Isabella?” I answered with the first thought that came to my mind.
“For trusting this one,”
His dark eyes held mine with an intensity that made me know that I was loved.
“It’s a see-saw Isabella.”
Chapter 27
EPOV
Halle-fucking-lujah we finally had a normal day. Ever since we had left my parents on Sunday night there seemed to be one stressful moment after another. Today zilch, no tears, nothing or no one came up missing, and no punishments; now hopefully there won’t be any nightmares tonight and the day would be perfect.
I was sort of anticipating Bella having a nightmare, but to look at her it certainly didn’t seem to be looming. She was facing the bottom of the bed lying on her stomach with her feet in the air and her chest propped up on a pillow writing in her journal. The only thing she had on was a sports bra and her new tattoo.
I was stretched out next to her sitting with my back leaning against the headboard watching Sports Center. Actually I was paying more attention to Bella, but really who could blame me for that? Alex had done a fantastic job on that tat. I had originally thought the design would be too large for her petite frame, but I was wrong.
The scrolls swirled around her natural curves, the largest of the three roses situated directly in the small of her back with the two smaller ones on either side of it. Three butterflies fluttered around the scroll work - one by her hip, one on her ass cheek, and the other by the roses. Sitting there watching her I thought about how utterly normal the day was….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dropping Bella off at the center this morning, I ran a few errands and returned home in just enough time to let Seth out before she returned. The drive to Aro’s took a little longer than I anticipated, but we arrived right at one o’clock. I left Bella with Jane and headed up the stairs to find Aro sitting behind his desk looking over some paperwork.
This used to be Mason’s room; the light cream colors on the wall conceal the deep blue and orange that once was here. Flordia Gator’s; that was his college of choice and the only thing he regretted not being able to do. I was angry at first when Aro changed this room; I was young and felt like he was attempting to rid all traces of Mason away. Now I can understand the need to move forward, you never forget but you can’t dwell on the past either.
“Good afternoon Edward,” Aro greeted, looking up from the papers. “I had Jane double check all the receipts; Stefan did not pay his account last month. So his statement went out as you had prepared it.” That really had nothing to do with me; I only ran the statements from the computer and prepared them to be mailed. Anything else was between the member and Aro.
“I’m sure if a mistake was made, he will produce proof of payment.” I knew Stefan would have had to pay by check or credit card, so a receipt would be easy enough to supply. Aro leaned back in his chair letting out a heavy sigh.
“Sometimes Edward, I think about taking a long vacation. People can very difficult to deal with.” I couldn’t imagine that his mood was only from one unpaid invoice, there must have been other things on his mind.
“Yes, well, nothing I can do about it,” he said sitting forward. “I did however make an announcement on Club Talk admonishing those who are participating in the spreading of gossip. Reminding them that the forum is not intended for that purpose. Perhaps that will help…,” he grinned. “Or, perhaps it will have the opposite effect and just fuel the notion that Isabella is in some way attached to me.” He shrugged then went on.
“Speaking of Miss Isabella, she is well?”
“She’s fine.” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
“And you? Your frame of mind seems better then the last time we talked.” Ohhhh, that’s what he meant.
“Yes, considerably so.”
“Good.” That was all he said on the subject. There was no prying into what happened or what infractions Bella had committed. He was just making sure that the two of us were alright. That was why I admired and respected his opinion so very much. He never gave unwarranted advice, never repeated anything you told him, and as far as I knew he never held a grudge.
The rest of the afternoon progressed and before I realized it was after three, Aro needed to get to the club and Bella had missed her yoga class. I wasn’t going to get overly excited about that, this was more important. On the way home Bella had told me a small amount of what their conversation had entailed. Along with the fact that she doesn’t believe in an all sovereign God, she did however seem interested in the teachings of Chidvilasananda.
We were only home long enough for Bella to shower, change, and give me a blow job. Which was thoroughly unexpected and very enjoyable, she really is very talented at sucking my dick. I had to force myself to not just blow my load in her mouth, and then I felt bad for getting my spunk all over her face. But the total defeat that washed over her was heart wrenching. I wanted to clean her off and hold her in my arms so that there was no doubt in her mind that I loved her.
Bella was quiet from that moment on and I couldn’t help but wonder what was bothering her. It could have been almost anything, but I wanted to make sure she wasn’t having any second thoughts about getting the tattoo. Anything else we would talk about later when she was ready to open up to me, or rather when I forced her to.
“Baby, are you alright?” I asked taking a hold of her hand, “you seem…distant. You don’t have to do this.” I wanted her know it wasn’t too late and she could change her mind.
“Don’t you want me to?”
When the fuck did I say I didn’t want her to? I’m the one that took her there; if I didn’t want her too she wouldn’t be going.
“No.”
Bella’s head snapped in my direction, “you don’t?” There was a panic in her voice.
“No that is not what I mean...I meant it’s up to you, but I don’t want you to feel like it’s carved in stone. You can change your mind.” That seemed to relax her a bit.
“I want to...I’m kind of nervous and excited at the same time, and I was trying to remember something Jane said.” I could understand the excited nervousness and if she was just deep in thought that would explain her quietness, but I wondered.
“What did Jane say?” I was hoping Bella would tell me.
“Can we talk about it later? I am trying to get it straight in my own head.” I didn’t answer because I will admit I was slightly disappointed. But at least she was thinking about sharing whatever it was rather than making me read it, and that was a start.
The rest of the ride was a comfortable silence. When I opened her car door Bella took my hand and instead of stepping into the open space, she slid her body up against mine clasping my face in her palms. Tilting her head, gazing into my eyes, a huge smile formed on her face. “Edward, you’re the best.”
That was all she said before lifting onto her toes to place a kiss on my lips. I had no idea what she meant. My arms wrapped around her back slipping under my button down she was wearing to stroke her bare skin.
“The best what?” I asked moving my face closer to hers.
“Everything,” the word left her mouth like a whisper before I captured her lips with my own. My hands ran down her bottom squeezing through the thin layer of her yoga pants, educing a moan of wantonness.
“I should have spanked you at home. I won’t be able to for days,” I spoke the words quietly next to her ears.
“Mmmm…there’s always the other cheek.”
“Yes, or I could spank your pussy.” My hand moved to the front of her body and ran the length of the seam between her thighs. “You would like that wouldn’t you my pet?”
“Mmmm …yes,” she hissed against my neck. “It’s been days” Bella’s statement made me stop in my tracks.
“What?…What’s been days?” We were just in the playroom last night, granted she didn’t have a release and from the darkness of the ink on her foot she wasn’t going to have one tonight either. But days?
“Since you touched me.”
I was truly mystified, she was serious and I wondered if she forgot about last night?
“Bella we were together last night...”
She cut me off before I could continue. “Yeah, I know. Wednesday, Thursday,” she held up two fingers as she spoke. “That’s two days.”
“But Wednesday to Thursday is twenty-four hours. That’s one day.” I explained as I took her hand and started walking.
“I’m not talking hours Edward, I’m talking days. Two separate days.”
I huffed in sheer bewilderment, “But…”
“No buts Edward, are they two different days or not?” she questioned while I opened the door to the shop.
“Yes they are, but...,”
“But what?”
I was beginning to see her logic and although it was convoluted, I had to agree Wednesday and Thursday were two separate days.
“But nothing baby, I have to agree with you, they are two different days.” Bella beamed then giggled and I knew she was fucking with me, just to see if she could. The glare on my face was amusing her even more.
“Alright my pet, I believe you will be getting that spanking, sooner rather than later.” I assured her with a quick swat to her bottom making her gasp then giggle once again.
Alex came out in the middle of our exchange with an amused look on his face. “You two done or what?”
Bella blushed at his comment biting her lip and nodding. “Then let’s get started.”
He led us back into the private room showing the design once more for a final approval. Bella was pleased and Alex had her remove the shirt and roll the back of her pants down to reveal her butt cheeks before straddling the chair so he could prep her skin.
“Ok Miss Bella, I need you to stand up, arms at your side, and stay as still as possible while I apply the stencil.”
As she complied her eyes met mine and she looked a little nervous, so I figured I would help to calm her down. I took a hold of her hips my thumbs moving smoothly over the skin of her stomach. When Alex was done he had her stand by the full length mirror and giving her a hand held mirror as well so she could see how the placement looked on her body.
“That’s perfect Alex.” Bella announced moving the mirror in her hand and taking one last glance. Alex looked to me waiting for my approval. He didn’t need it, she could do what she liked, it was her body, but I nodded in assent for his reassurance.
“Bella I’m going to have you lay on your stomach, it will be the most comfortable for you.”
Once she was laying with her hands folded under her chin, Alex rolled up a towel for her to use as a pillow. Bella was looking in the opposite direction watching him wash his hands.
“Ummm…Alex how long is it going to take and is it going to hurt?”
“I have you slotted for three hours, it all depends on how many breaks you need. If I can get through the outline, give you a ten minute break then finish the color, we will be done in less time. And fuck yes, it hurts!” Alex told her with a smirk while he snapped on gloves.
“Oh.”
I could see Bella tense up and Alex moved his chair so he was face to face with her. “There are three types of people. Those like Edward,” his eyes met mine for a split second before looking back to her, “who no matter what - ‘there’s no fucking way’ they would do it. Then there are those who grin and bear it cursing the whole way through. And the third type relax, let the discomfort wash over them and go into a euphoric state, where they actually enjoy it. Let’s see what kind you are.”
Bella took a deep breath, nodded in agreement then turned her head to look at me. I smiled at her removing the hair from around her face. The machine made a humming noise and Alex announced he was ready to start. Bella didn’t tense up, she didn’t flinch she didn’t even blink.
Alex made small talk at first asking how the family was, and what I was going to do all summer. When I told him about the bathroom remodel, Bella commented about getting a decent tub and I assured her that was in the plans. With Alex well underway with what he was doing I figured Bella had enough time to adjust to what was happening and I made an observation.
“Not too bad baby?” I asked running my fingers through her hair.
“No, it’s kind of like a tingly pricking.”
Alex spoke up before I could comment, “she’s fine Edward. I knew you were the third kind Bella.”
“How did you know?”
Alex smirked at her question. “I just had that feeling. Now, tell me about this design.”
“What do you mean?” Bella looked to me like I knew what Alex was asking for.
“Every tattoo tells a story about the person who wears it. So tell me what it means to you. The roses, the scrolls, the butterflies, what do they mean to you?”
I could see her brain working as she formulated her answer.
“Well the butterflies…,” she smiled. “When I was little we called our vagina’s butterflies.”
“What?” I had to have clarification on that statement.
Bella’s face was crimson as she explained to me. “Don’t you think it looks like a butterfly? Especially when there’s no hair?” She bit her lip in embarrassment.
“I never thought about it.” I admitted while Alex asked, “so you want vaginas on your body?”
“No!” Bella sounded horror-struck. “It’s a symbol of womanhood; they represent my grandma, my mom and me.”
Well at least that made sense.
“And the roses?” Alex coaxed.
Bella sighed then explained. “Every year on my birthday my grandfather sent me one single yellow rose. They are my favorite flowers.” I didn’t know that, when I sent the roses to her I just thought they were bright and cheerful; Bella continued while that thought came to my mind.
“Grand always said that the rose is so fragile on the outside, but down deep they are very strong. Every fall the whole bush gets cut down to the ground, and it survives the harsh winter only to bloom again in the spring and produce beautiful delicate flowers. When my mother died he told me that’s what I had to do, but I was young and didn’t understand completely. Every year my yellow rose came, and as I got older I understood what he was trying to tell me. That in order to produce something good, you have to be strong enough to survive through the harsh winters.”
Bella grew quiet, and then added, “the roses represent the three phases of life: birth, existence, and death; all three can be harsh.”
The room grew very quiet as we took in Bella’s words. The only sound was the buzz that the needle made, so her happy voice startled me. “Edward sent me yellow roses.” I caught the twinkle in her eye, and then she asked me, “Did you know they were my favorite?”
“I had no clue baby, that was pure coincidence. I just thought you would like them.” I told her placing a kiss on her cheek.
“Do you know that besides grand, you are the only man who ever sent me flowers?”
I smiled at her feeling kind of proud that something so simple could make her happy, but then she remembered, “Oops…that’s a lie. Aro sent me flowers.” When the fuck did he send her flowers? I was going to ask but Alex beat me to it.
“Aro sent you flowers?” He seemed as puzzled as me.
“Yes, when I was in the hospital, well actually they were from him and Jane.”
Oh shit! I wanted to change the subject fast and I was going to ask about the scrolls but Alex uttered the question before I could say anything.
“What were you in the hospital for? Were you sick?”
Bella met my eyes before turning her head to look away; she clearly was ashamed about whatever had happened.
“I was stupid for not shutting my door, and I couldn’t run fast enough.” Bella’s voice was slightly shaky.
I couldn’t see her face but I placed my hand on her, stroking her shoulders with the back of my fingers. I hated that she blamed herself and out the corner of my eye I saw Alex move his head to see her face then he looked to me with concern, figuring I better take control of the situation my voice came out firmly.
“Isabella, what are the scrolls for?” I wanted to bring her back to the here and now, quickly, so I used her submissive name.
It worked, Bella’s head snapped around, her eyes grew bright. “I just like them Sir, they are fun and feminine. Don’t you think?”
“Yes they are, and they look very sexy on you too.” She smirked and I leaned over whispering in her ear, “I love you my beautiful Bella.” I kissed her lips softly and Bella turned her head so her cheek rested against mine; I could feel the tension leave her body.
“You alright now baby?” I whispered against her face, Bella sighed lightly nodding her head. When I sat up I kept the skin to skin contact by stroking her face. She was so calm I thought she was sleeping. Alex caught my eye and nodded. As I looked at the work he was doing I was surprised to see that the outline was almost complete.
“Edward, do you think Esme would like it if you got a tattoo?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know love, I never thought about it. I am a grown man, she couldn’t say too much.”
“Hmmm…Charlie isn’t going to like it.”
“Charlie?” Alex questioned.
“Bella’s father,” I informed before he got the wrong idea.
“Yeah, he’s going to think I joined some outlaw biker gang,” Bella laughed. “He would freak if he knew what I really joined.” That statement made her laugh harder.
Alex smirked at me.
“I think Miss Bella’s endorphins are in full kilt now, she’s getting silly. If you have any questions you want to ask her Edward, now’s the time.”
I chuckled while Bella exclaimed, “That’s not fair!”
“All is fair is love and war darling,” Her grin at my comment made me chuckle.
It wasn’t much later Alex was finished with the outline and Bella got up to stretch and use the bathroom. She started walking toward the door and I figured I’d better remind her of something.
“Ah Bella, I really don’t mind your ass hanging out in here, but you might want to put your shirt on, just in case someone else is out there.”
She gasped blushing and taking the shirt from me. Alex told her where she could find the bathroom and got me a bottle of water.
“Someone attack her?” He didn’t ask to be prying, I could tell by his expression it was out of concern.
“Yes, her ex-husband.” Alex didn’t answer. He just nodded once then went on to explain that he figured Bella would be fine with the pain, and that when he did the coloring she would more than likely go into a sub-space like trance.
A buzzer sounded from out in the main room and he excused himself to go see who came in the shop. With the door open I could hear the voices, the person who had just come in sounded familiar and Bella was talking to whoever it was. Felix was standing by her just making small talk, when I approached he stopped and shook my hand in greeting. I glanced over to see Alex by the front door he was on the phone, paging through his appointment book.
“You getting a tat Edward?” Felix asked like he already knew the answer, but frankly it was none of his business so I didn’t respond instead I asked him. “What brings you down here?”
“I need some touch up’s done, and I thought maybe if Alex wasn’t busy he could squeeze me in, but he said it would be at least an hour…,” His eyes glanced down to Bella while he talked, probably looking for the art work, “…so he is just going to set me up with an appointment, but he got a phone call and then Isabella came out, so we were just chatting while I waited.”
Alex finished his call and as we said good-bye Felix asked if he would see us this weekend, I told him I wasn’t sure if I would make it or not. Bella remained quiet throughout our exchange and once Felix walked away I escorted her back into the room.
“Edward, don’t you like Felix?”
“It isn’t that I don’t like him Bella, he’s just a little nosy and I told you, our relationship is nobody’s business.”
Alex was back so Bella didn’t get to comment, or maybe she didn’t have a comment either way she was back on the chair. Once the colors were picked out, Alex got to work on filling in the design. He was right about Bella; she closed her eyes relaxed into the chair and actually started letting out soft moans of contentment.
It was strange watching her get pleasure from someone else, and if I didn’t know any better I would swear she was on the verge of an orgasm. Her face was flushed, her breathing heavy, and the only thing that was missing was that little ‘v’ in her forehead.
I whispered in her ear, “don’t you fucking cum!”
Bella’s eyes flew open and she glared at me before a grin took over her face. “I won’t, don’t be silly Edward. It feels really good though, like tiny little fingers massaging one area.”
Alex snickered shaking his head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Edward, Edddwwwarrrddd….” Bella’s voice and giggle broke through my thoughts.
“What?”
She laughed, leaning on her elbow and turning her head to look at me.
“I was talking to you, but you were off somewhere in la la land. What were you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about you almost cuming while Alex was working on you,” I snickered at her gasp.
“I was not going to orgasm, I was really relaxed though.”
My eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Bella two more minutes and you would have been panting and I would have had to punish you for being naughty.”
She rolled completely on her side and glared at me. “I’m not naughty.” She announced with conviction, and then continued, “Jane says that someone is naughty when they do things purposely. Jane say’s I’m just inattentive.” I grinned, moving down the bed to lay facing her.
“Oh yeah, and tell me my little inattentive pet, what else does Jane saz?” I asked tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Well,” Bella sighed pursing her lips as she thought, “she said that I needed to monitor myself and that I should do it several times throughout the day. Basically saying that because I knew that I was doing what you expect, I would be more confident.” She was right; it would make her more confident, I listened while Bella went on explaining.
“She also said that had I been paying attention, my eating wouldn’t have gotten so dire and if I would have confessed the first day, you probably wouldn’t have punished me at all.” I thought about that and was going to comment when Bella added, “or at least not as harshly.”
“Definitely not as harsh, and sometimes circumstances occur that will cause you to have an off day. Like not making your yoga, I can understand that. Shit happens. But when it becomes a daily thing or completely out of hand, then I have to step in. And I prefer not to do that.”
Bella nodded in agreement, “Yes, you were being obedient to me.”
What? I was completely floored by that statement. “Bella, you’re going to have to explain that to me.”
She tilted her head then sat up, putting her right foot up for me to see. I sighed, because I really hated the idea of what had to be done.
“You don’t like it either do you?” I shook my head because I didn’t like it at all. “So why did you do it?” She asked with compete sincerity.
“I told you this last night, I had to because you needed the correction.” Bella gave me a knowing grin.
“You were being obedient to me.” I thought about her words. “Isn’t that what obedience is, doing something for someone else’s benefit? It’s not always something you don’t enjoy. But what other reason would you have for doing something that you don’t take pleasure from? ”
“I guess your right baby, I was being obedient.” Bella had a way of looking at things from such a simple perspective.
“Jane also said that we are like a see-saw.” I looked at her questionably as she laid back down on her side.
“What?”
“Actually, the see-saw was my analogy. She said that whatever I give to you, you give back. So I shouldn’t feel bad about depending on you.”
“Why would you feel bad about that?” She looked away from me and I cupped her chin, but she still didn’t meet my eyes. “Bella?”
“It scares the hell out me Edward!” Her admission had me bewildered and she must have noticed. “Don’t you see? I never had anyone who I could depend on for any length of time. One way or another they always left me, so I find myself wondering how long before you do the same thing?”
“I’m not going anywhere baby. I don’t think I could if I wanted to; I find myself so totally drawn to you that I believe it would cause me physical pain to be away from you.” That admission caused me to be worried that she might think I was obsessed with her in an unhealthy way.
“Some things are even out of your control.” What did she mean by that? I didn’t get to ask because Bella kept talking, “And we talked about Mason.”
Bella was biting her bottom lip and I was certain she had something on her mind to talk to me about. I gave her a few seconds and was just going to ask when she responded. “Jane said that you and Mason were very close.” I nodded because that was no secret.
“I was just wondering if he was the reason you went to medical school, and if he was, why you didn’t finish?”
I thought about her questions rolling onto my back with a heavy sigh.
“Was he the reason? No…yes...partly. Ever since I could remember, I had wanted to be a doctor. That might have something to do with Mason being sick when he was younger, or maybe it was me just admiring my father.” Bella sat up wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees watching me.
“I did finish medical school. I just didn’t do residency, and I have no desire to do it now. I can’t see putting in all that time for something I deem inconsequential.”
“Edward, how can you say it’s unimportant?”
I looked in her eyes trying to figure out where this line of questioning was coming from.
“I can say it Bella, because it’s true. Mason had the best doctors and specialists and it didn’t fucking matter.” I realized I was raising my voice and worked on calming myself.
“Are you mad at him?”
My eyes shot to hers.
“No, why would I be mad? It’s not his fault; he didn’t do anything or ask to get sick. Fucking sixteen year old boys are not supposed to die, Bella. They are supposed to play football, skip school, and get a bad fucking blow job in the back of their parent’s car. Not lay bald in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out all over them, while some asshole team of doctors stand there giving false hope just so they can try new procedures out on him.”
“Then you’re mad at the doctors?”
I closed my eyes. “I’m disillusioned with the whole medical establishment. It’s not about helping people; it’s about money, and prestige, and how much of both you can get. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“I was angry with my mother; I blamed her death for all the mistakes I made in my life. It’s a normal response to grief, five stages and all that. But I always thought if she would have loved me more than she loved Phil, she would have stayed home with me rather than go on that trip with him.”
“Baby, she didn’t want to die…,”
Bella spoke before I could finish. “I know that Edward, it’s just that ever since I was eight years old, I always felt second best. My mother chose Phil, Charlie chose fishing, my grandparents chose my mother’s memory, and James…oh man, I can’t even tell you how far down on his list I was. The point is that I don’t feel that way when I’m with you.”
I looked in her eyes they were pleading with me to understand.
“And that scares you.” I stated simply.
“Petrifies me.”
“Because you think I’m going to leave you?”
Bella shook her head. “No, I think you are going to be taken away from me by someone or something more important.”A sad smile played on her lips
“That sound’s really selfish of me doesn’t it?” I sat up pulling her into my lap
“No baby, not selfish”
If there was one thing Bella was not it was selfish. She was however insecure about so many aspects of her life. I held her as close to me as possible, she needed to know how important she was to me.
“Baby I can’t promise you that things are going to be moon light and roses or perfect all the time. But I can promise you that nothing will ever be more important to me then you are. You are in my life – no, fuck that shit...you are my life, and there is nothing I can say to make you believe that, the only thing I can give you is time. However long it takes to prove that everyone and everything else in this world pales in comparison to you in my heart.” I tucked her head under my chin stroking the length of her hair.
“It might take a lifetime Edward.”
I smiled kissing the top of her head.
“I’ll give you a lifetime, my lifetime Bella.”
I’d give her a million lifetimes if it made her feel more secure. I knew the fear that was eating at her, the unknown and the unexpected. There was nothing I could do about the curve balls that get thrown our way, but I could show her that no matter what, I would be there in whatever capacity she needed me to be in. My hand trailed down to the end of her hair coming in contact with the remnants of ointment on her back making her flinch.
“How’s your back, does it hurt?”
“No, it just feels…tight.”
Alex had said to keep A&D ointment on it for the first two days, so I had Bella lay on her stomach so I could apply some more. When I was done she put on her robe and we went downstairs, she ate some cheese and bagel chips while Seth went out one last time.
Bella had wanted to take the dog back to her house, but I preferred that he was here. I had an uneasy feeling that something was amiss. I couldn’t say any one thing stuck out, it was more of several little things that made me apprehensive. That collar incident still had me baffled, whether it was the dog himself or neighborhood kids, I didn’t like it. I just wasn’t sure how to get her to leave him here or herself for that matter. That thought did remind me of something.
“You know that see-saw thing you were talking about?” I asked her sitting down at the table with a glass of milk and an apple.
“Yes, what about it?” She sliced off some cheese and was eyeing my apple.
“Whatever I get, I’m supposed to give back. You said that’s how it works?”
“Yes?” Her voice sounded unsure. “Edward, can I have a hunk of that apple?”
I took the knife slicing off a small section and handing it to her.
“Thanks.”
Amused, I watched her slice the piece into half a dozen smaller ones then sandwiching them between a chip and cheese.
“Well then here, I have these for you.” Bella took the set of keys I had made her, eyeing me skeptically. “I have access to your house, now you have access to mine.”
“You are giving me keys to your house?” She asked before popping one of those things she made into her mouth.
“Yes, I am. You might need to get in some time when I’m not around.” Her face fell, like I had pained her. I thought about what I said and then added, “you know, in case I’m busy or at work or whatever.”
Bella’s face broke into a huge grin, “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. One more thing, I really enjoyed taking Seth on my run yesterday. Do you think it would be alright if I did it on a regular basis?”
“Sure, he would probably like that.” Just then there was a scratch at the back door. Bella finished her snack and cleaned up while I let Seth in and checked the doors before we went up to bed. I found I enjoyed these little scenes of domestic life. Simple things like working together in the kitchen took on a whole new meaning.
Bella wore one of my older t-shirts to bed, so that the ointment wouldn’t get on the sheets. She snuggled into my arms resting her head on my chest.
“Edward do you know what I found the most interesting today?”
“What?”
“Jane kept telling me that I had to pay attention to what I was doing and use self discipline. When Aro came to say they had to leave, he gave her five minutes to finish up. She set a timer, but she set it for half a minute less so that she was in the other room exactly on time. I thought that was ingenious. I don’t know if I would have thought of that.”
“She’s had over twenty years to perfect her skills Bella, don’t compare yourself. Besides, she was more than likely punished for being late and came up with that so it wouldn’t happen again.” I didn’t want her to think that she was in any way inferior.
“I know, but I don’t know if in twenty years I would have thought of that. Oh, and she also said that had she turned off her phone without telling Aro that she did, she said that she wouldn’t be able to sit down for a long time.”
I bet she wouldn’t.
I listened to Bella keep talking, “Do most submissive’s get spanked as a punishment? Because wouldn’t they like that?”
I chuckled, “I assume that the majority gets spanked and no, a punishment spanking is not enjoyable. The instrument used is harsh, the strikes are forceful, and the marks remain for days.”
“Is it violent?”
I thought about her question before answering, “No, it is controlled and ritualistic like everything else in our lifestyle and if the submissive is unable to handle it, they safe word.”
Bella pushed herself up so she could look in my face. “You can safeword a punishment?”
“Absolutely, you can and should safe word whenever you need to.” I thought I had made that clear before.
“Edward if they can safeword, why don’t they?” How could I explain this? Perhaps this is something that might be better explained from a submissive’s point of view.
“You know what Bella; I don’t really have the answer for that. I know why I think they don’t, but I believe that might be a better question for Jane. If you don’t mind I am going to let her answer that one? Now, how about we go to sleep?” She snuggled back into her spot in my arms letting out a small yawn.
The room was dark and quiet; Bella’s breathing was deep and even. I wasn’t exactly sure what woke me, but looking at the clock I saw it was too early to get up. Seth was over by the window with his paws on the glass looking outside. I smacked my lips together calling him back over to his own bed. Bella stirred slightly in my arms.
“Edward. Don’t leave me. Please…I love you, don’t leave me…,” I held her tighter to my body kissing her forehead and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere baby; not without you.” Before I drifted back to sleep.
Halle-fucking-lujah we finally had a normal day. Ever since we had left my parents on Sunday night there seemed to be one stressful moment after another. Today zilch, no tears, nothing or no one came up missing, and no punishments; now hopefully there won’t be any nightmares tonight and the day would be perfect.
I was sort of anticipating Bella having a nightmare, but to look at her it certainly didn’t seem to be looming. She was facing the bottom of the bed lying on her stomach with her feet in the air and her chest propped up on a pillow writing in her journal. The only thing she had on was a sports bra and her new tattoo.
I was stretched out next to her sitting with my back leaning against the headboard watching Sports Center. Actually I was paying more attention to Bella, but really who could blame me for that? Alex had done a fantastic job on that tat. I had originally thought the design would be too large for her petite frame, but I was wrong.
The scrolls swirled around her natural curves, the largest of the three roses situated directly in the small of her back with the two smaller ones on either side of it. Three butterflies fluttered around the scroll work - one by her hip, one on her ass cheek, and the other by the roses. Sitting there watching her I thought about how utterly normal the day was….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dropping Bella off at the center this morning, I ran a few errands and returned home in just enough time to let Seth out before she returned. The drive to Aro’s took a little longer than I anticipated, but we arrived right at one o’clock. I left Bella with Jane and headed up the stairs to find Aro sitting behind his desk looking over some paperwork.
This used to be Mason’s room; the light cream colors on the wall conceal the deep blue and orange that once was here. Flordia Gator’s; that was his college of choice and the only thing he regretted not being able to do. I was angry at first when Aro changed this room; I was young and felt like he was attempting to rid all traces of Mason away. Now I can understand the need to move forward, you never forget but you can’t dwell on the past either.
“Good afternoon Edward,” Aro greeted, looking up from the papers. “I had Jane double check all the receipts; Stefan did not pay his account last month. So his statement went out as you had prepared it.” That really had nothing to do with me; I only ran the statements from the computer and prepared them to be mailed. Anything else was between the member and Aro.
“I’m sure if a mistake was made, he will produce proof of payment.” I knew Stefan would have had to pay by check or credit card, so a receipt would be easy enough to supply. Aro leaned back in his chair letting out a heavy sigh.
“Sometimes Edward, I think about taking a long vacation. People can very difficult to deal with.” I couldn’t imagine that his mood was only from one unpaid invoice, there must have been other things on his mind.
“Yes, well, nothing I can do about it,” he said sitting forward. “I did however make an announcement on Club Talk admonishing those who are participating in the spreading of gossip. Reminding them that the forum is not intended for that purpose. Perhaps that will help…,” he grinned. “Or, perhaps it will have the opposite effect and just fuel the notion that Isabella is in some way attached to me.” He shrugged then went on.
“Speaking of Miss Isabella, she is well?”
“She’s fine.” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
“And you? Your frame of mind seems better then the last time we talked.” Ohhhh, that’s what he meant.
“Yes, considerably so.”
“Good.” That was all he said on the subject. There was no prying into what happened or what infractions Bella had committed. He was just making sure that the two of us were alright. That was why I admired and respected his opinion so very much. He never gave unwarranted advice, never repeated anything you told him, and as far as I knew he never held a grudge.
The rest of the afternoon progressed and before I realized it was after three, Aro needed to get to the club and Bella had missed her yoga class. I wasn’t going to get overly excited about that, this was more important. On the way home Bella had told me a small amount of what their conversation had entailed. Along with the fact that she doesn’t believe in an all sovereign God, she did however seem interested in the teachings of Chidvilasananda.
We were only home long enough for Bella to shower, change, and give me a blow job. Which was thoroughly unexpected and very enjoyable, she really is very talented at sucking my dick. I had to force myself to not just blow my load in her mouth, and then I felt bad for getting my spunk all over her face. But the total defeat that washed over her was heart wrenching. I wanted to clean her off and hold her in my arms so that there was no doubt in her mind that I loved her.
Bella was quiet from that moment on and I couldn’t help but wonder what was bothering her. It could have been almost anything, but I wanted to make sure she wasn’t having any second thoughts about getting the tattoo. Anything else we would talk about later when she was ready to open up to me, or rather when I forced her to.
“Baby, are you alright?” I asked taking a hold of her hand, “you seem…distant. You don’t have to do this.” I wanted her know it wasn’t too late and she could change her mind.
“Don’t you want me to?”
When the fuck did I say I didn’t want her to? I’m the one that took her there; if I didn’t want her too she wouldn’t be going.
“No.”
Bella’s head snapped in my direction, “you don’t?” There was a panic in her voice.
“No that is not what I mean...I meant it’s up to you, but I don’t want you to feel like it’s carved in stone. You can change your mind.” That seemed to relax her a bit.
“I want to...I’m kind of nervous and excited at the same time, and I was trying to remember something Jane said.” I could understand the excited nervousness and if she was just deep in thought that would explain her quietness, but I wondered.
“What did Jane say?” I was hoping Bella would tell me.
“Can we talk about it later? I am trying to get it straight in my own head.” I didn’t answer because I will admit I was slightly disappointed. But at least she was thinking about sharing whatever it was rather than making me read it, and that was a start.
The rest of the ride was a comfortable silence. When I opened her car door Bella took my hand and instead of stepping into the open space, she slid her body up against mine clasping my face in her palms. Tilting her head, gazing into my eyes, a huge smile formed on her face. “Edward, you’re the best.”
That was all she said before lifting onto her toes to place a kiss on my lips. I had no idea what she meant. My arms wrapped around her back slipping under my button down she was wearing to stroke her bare skin.
“The best what?” I asked moving my face closer to hers.
“Everything,” the word left her mouth like a whisper before I captured her lips with my own. My hands ran down her bottom squeezing through the thin layer of her yoga pants, educing a moan of wantonness.
“I should have spanked you at home. I won’t be able to for days,” I spoke the words quietly next to her ears.
“Mmmm…there’s always the other cheek.”
“Yes, or I could spank your pussy.” My hand moved to the front of her body and ran the length of the seam between her thighs. “You would like that wouldn’t you my pet?”
“Mmmm …yes,” she hissed against my neck. “It’s been days” Bella’s statement made me stop in my tracks.
“What?…What’s been days?” We were just in the playroom last night, granted she didn’t have a release and from the darkness of the ink on her foot she wasn’t going to have one tonight either. But days?
“Since you touched me.”
I was truly mystified, she was serious and I wondered if she forgot about last night?
“Bella we were together last night...”
She cut me off before I could continue. “Yeah, I know. Wednesday, Thursday,” she held up two fingers as she spoke. “That’s two days.”
“But Wednesday to Thursday is twenty-four hours. That’s one day.” I explained as I took her hand and started walking.
“I’m not talking hours Edward, I’m talking days. Two separate days.”
I huffed in sheer bewilderment, “But…”
“No buts Edward, are they two different days or not?” she questioned while I opened the door to the shop.
“Yes they are, but...,”
“But what?”
I was beginning to see her logic and although it was convoluted, I had to agree Wednesday and Thursday were two separate days.
“But nothing baby, I have to agree with you, they are two different days.” Bella beamed then giggled and I knew she was fucking with me, just to see if she could. The glare on my face was amusing her even more.
“Alright my pet, I believe you will be getting that spanking, sooner rather than later.” I assured her with a quick swat to her bottom making her gasp then giggle once again.
Alex came out in the middle of our exchange with an amused look on his face. “You two done or what?”
Bella blushed at his comment biting her lip and nodding. “Then let’s get started.”
He led us back into the private room showing the design once more for a final approval. Bella was pleased and Alex had her remove the shirt and roll the back of her pants down to reveal her butt cheeks before straddling the chair so he could prep her skin.
“Ok Miss Bella, I need you to stand up, arms at your side, and stay as still as possible while I apply the stencil.”
As she complied her eyes met mine and she looked a little nervous, so I figured I would help to calm her down. I took a hold of her hips my thumbs moving smoothly over the skin of her stomach. When Alex was done he had her stand by the full length mirror and giving her a hand held mirror as well so she could see how the placement looked on her body.
“That’s perfect Alex.” Bella announced moving the mirror in her hand and taking one last glance. Alex looked to me waiting for my approval. He didn’t need it, she could do what she liked, it was her body, but I nodded in assent for his reassurance.
“Bella I’m going to have you lay on your stomach, it will be the most comfortable for you.”
Once she was laying with her hands folded under her chin, Alex rolled up a towel for her to use as a pillow. Bella was looking in the opposite direction watching him wash his hands.
“Ummm…Alex how long is it going to take and is it going to hurt?”
“I have you slotted for three hours, it all depends on how many breaks you need. If I can get through the outline, give you a ten minute break then finish the color, we will be done in less time. And fuck yes, it hurts!” Alex told her with a smirk while he snapped on gloves.
“Oh.”
I could see Bella tense up and Alex moved his chair so he was face to face with her. “There are three types of people. Those like Edward,” his eyes met mine for a split second before looking back to her, “who no matter what - ‘there’s no fucking way’ they would do it. Then there are those who grin and bear it cursing the whole way through. And the third type relax, let the discomfort wash over them and go into a euphoric state, where they actually enjoy it. Let’s see what kind you are.”
Bella took a deep breath, nodded in agreement then turned her head to look at me. I smiled at her removing the hair from around her face. The machine made a humming noise and Alex announced he was ready to start. Bella didn’t tense up, she didn’t flinch she didn’t even blink.
Alex made small talk at first asking how the family was, and what I was going to do all summer. When I told him about the bathroom remodel, Bella commented about getting a decent tub and I assured her that was in the plans. With Alex well underway with what he was doing I figured Bella had enough time to adjust to what was happening and I made an observation.
“Not too bad baby?” I asked running my fingers through her hair.
“No, it’s kind of like a tingly pricking.”
Alex spoke up before I could comment, “she’s fine Edward. I knew you were the third kind Bella.”
“How did you know?”
Alex smirked at her question. “I just had that feeling. Now, tell me about this design.”
“What do you mean?” Bella looked to me like I knew what Alex was asking for.
“Every tattoo tells a story about the person who wears it. So tell me what it means to you. The roses, the scrolls, the butterflies, what do they mean to you?”
I could see her brain working as she formulated her answer.
“Well the butterflies…,” she smiled. “When I was little we called our vagina’s butterflies.”
“What?” I had to have clarification on that statement.
Bella’s face was crimson as she explained to me. “Don’t you think it looks like a butterfly? Especially when there’s no hair?” She bit her lip in embarrassment.
“I never thought about it.” I admitted while Alex asked, “so you want vaginas on your body?”
“No!” Bella sounded horror-struck. “It’s a symbol of womanhood; they represent my grandma, my mom and me.”
Well at least that made sense.
“And the roses?” Alex coaxed.
Bella sighed then explained. “Every year on my birthday my grandfather sent me one single yellow rose. They are my favorite flowers.” I didn’t know that, when I sent the roses to her I just thought they were bright and cheerful; Bella continued while that thought came to my mind.
“Grand always said that the rose is so fragile on the outside, but down deep they are very strong. Every fall the whole bush gets cut down to the ground, and it survives the harsh winter only to bloom again in the spring and produce beautiful delicate flowers. When my mother died he told me that’s what I had to do, but I was young and didn’t understand completely. Every year my yellow rose came, and as I got older I understood what he was trying to tell me. That in order to produce something good, you have to be strong enough to survive through the harsh winters.”
Bella grew quiet, and then added, “the roses represent the three phases of life: birth, existence, and death; all three can be harsh.”
The room grew very quiet as we took in Bella’s words. The only sound was the buzz that the needle made, so her happy voice startled me. “Edward sent me yellow roses.” I caught the twinkle in her eye, and then she asked me, “Did you know they were my favorite?”
“I had no clue baby, that was pure coincidence. I just thought you would like them.” I told her placing a kiss on her cheek.
“Do you know that besides grand, you are the only man who ever sent me flowers?”
I smiled at her feeling kind of proud that something so simple could make her happy, but then she remembered, “Oops…that’s a lie. Aro sent me flowers.” When the fuck did he send her flowers? I was going to ask but Alex beat me to it.
“Aro sent you flowers?” He seemed as puzzled as me.
“Yes, when I was in the hospital, well actually they were from him and Jane.”
Oh shit! I wanted to change the subject fast and I was going to ask about the scrolls but Alex uttered the question before I could say anything.
“What were you in the hospital for? Were you sick?”
Bella met my eyes before turning her head to look away; she clearly was ashamed about whatever had happened.
“I was stupid for not shutting my door, and I couldn’t run fast enough.” Bella’s voice was slightly shaky.
I couldn’t see her face but I placed my hand on her, stroking her shoulders with the back of my fingers. I hated that she blamed herself and out the corner of my eye I saw Alex move his head to see her face then he looked to me with concern, figuring I better take control of the situation my voice came out firmly.
“Isabella, what are the scrolls for?” I wanted to bring her back to the here and now, quickly, so I used her submissive name.
It worked, Bella’s head snapped around, her eyes grew bright. “I just like them Sir, they are fun and feminine. Don’t you think?”
“Yes they are, and they look very sexy on you too.” She smirked and I leaned over whispering in her ear, “I love you my beautiful Bella.” I kissed her lips softly and Bella turned her head so her cheek rested against mine; I could feel the tension leave her body.
“You alright now baby?” I whispered against her face, Bella sighed lightly nodding her head. When I sat up I kept the skin to skin contact by stroking her face. She was so calm I thought she was sleeping. Alex caught my eye and nodded. As I looked at the work he was doing I was surprised to see that the outline was almost complete.
“Edward, do you think Esme would like it if you got a tattoo?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know love, I never thought about it. I am a grown man, she couldn’t say too much.”
“Hmmm…Charlie isn’t going to like it.”
“Charlie?” Alex questioned.
“Bella’s father,” I informed before he got the wrong idea.
“Yeah, he’s going to think I joined some outlaw biker gang,” Bella laughed. “He would freak if he knew what I really joined.” That statement made her laugh harder.
Alex smirked at me.
“I think Miss Bella’s endorphins are in full kilt now, she’s getting silly. If you have any questions you want to ask her Edward, now’s the time.”
I chuckled while Bella exclaimed, “That’s not fair!”
“All is fair is love and war darling,” Her grin at my comment made me chuckle.
It wasn’t much later Alex was finished with the outline and Bella got up to stretch and use the bathroom. She started walking toward the door and I figured I’d better remind her of something.
“Ah Bella, I really don’t mind your ass hanging out in here, but you might want to put your shirt on, just in case someone else is out there.”
She gasped blushing and taking the shirt from me. Alex told her where she could find the bathroom and got me a bottle of water.
“Someone attack her?” He didn’t ask to be prying, I could tell by his expression it was out of concern.
“Yes, her ex-husband.” Alex didn’t answer. He just nodded once then went on to explain that he figured Bella would be fine with the pain, and that when he did the coloring she would more than likely go into a sub-space like trance.
A buzzer sounded from out in the main room and he excused himself to go see who came in the shop. With the door open I could hear the voices, the person who had just come in sounded familiar and Bella was talking to whoever it was. Felix was standing by her just making small talk, when I approached he stopped and shook my hand in greeting. I glanced over to see Alex by the front door he was on the phone, paging through his appointment book.
“You getting a tat Edward?” Felix asked like he already knew the answer, but frankly it was none of his business so I didn’t respond instead I asked him. “What brings you down here?”
“I need some touch up’s done, and I thought maybe if Alex wasn’t busy he could squeeze me in, but he said it would be at least an hour…,” His eyes glanced down to Bella while he talked, probably looking for the art work, “…so he is just going to set me up with an appointment, but he got a phone call and then Isabella came out, so we were just chatting while I waited.”
Alex finished his call and as we said good-bye Felix asked if he would see us this weekend, I told him I wasn’t sure if I would make it or not. Bella remained quiet throughout our exchange and once Felix walked away I escorted her back into the room.
“Edward, don’t you like Felix?”
“It isn’t that I don’t like him Bella, he’s just a little nosy and I told you, our relationship is nobody’s business.”
Alex was back so Bella didn’t get to comment, or maybe she didn’t have a comment either way she was back on the chair. Once the colors were picked out, Alex got to work on filling in the design. He was right about Bella; she closed her eyes relaxed into the chair and actually started letting out soft moans of contentment.
It was strange watching her get pleasure from someone else, and if I didn’t know any better I would swear she was on the verge of an orgasm. Her face was flushed, her breathing heavy, and the only thing that was missing was that little ‘v’ in her forehead.
I whispered in her ear, “don’t you fucking cum!”
Bella’s eyes flew open and she glared at me before a grin took over her face. “I won’t, don’t be silly Edward. It feels really good though, like tiny little fingers massaging one area.”
Alex snickered shaking his head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Edward, Edddwwwarrrddd….” Bella’s voice and giggle broke through my thoughts.
“What?”
She laughed, leaning on her elbow and turning her head to look at me.
“I was talking to you, but you were off somewhere in la la land. What were you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about you almost cuming while Alex was working on you,” I snickered at her gasp.
“I was not going to orgasm, I was really relaxed though.”
My eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Bella two more minutes and you would have been panting and I would have had to punish you for being naughty.”
She rolled completely on her side and glared at me. “I’m not naughty.” She announced with conviction, and then continued, “Jane says that someone is naughty when they do things purposely. Jane say’s I’m just inattentive.” I grinned, moving down the bed to lay facing her.
“Oh yeah, and tell me my little inattentive pet, what else does Jane saz?” I asked tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Well,” Bella sighed pursing her lips as she thought, “she said that I needed to monitor myself and that I should do it several times throughout the day. Basically saying that because I knew that I was doing what you expect, I would be more confident.” She was right; it would make her more confident, I listened while Bella went on explaining.
“She also said that had I been paying attention, my eating wouldn’t have gotten so dire and if I would have confessed the first day, you probably wouldn’t have punished me at all.” I thought about that and was going to comment when Bella added, “or at least not as harshly.”
“Definitely not as harsh, and sometimes circumstances occur that will cause you to have an off day. Like not making your yoga, I can understand that. Shit happens. But when it becomes a daily thing or completely out of hand, then I have to step in. And I prefer not to do that.”
Bella nodded in agreement, “Yes, you were being obedient to me.”
What? I was completely floored by that statement. “Bella, you’re going to have to explain that to me.”
She tilted her head then sat up, putting her right foot up for me to see. I sighed, because I really hated the idea of what had to be done.
“You don’t like it either do you?” I shook my head because I didn’t like it at all. “So why did you do it?” She asked with compete sincerity.
“I told you this last night, I had to because you needed the correction.” Bella gave me a knowing grin.
“You were being obedient to me.” I thought about her words. “Isn’t that what obedience is, doing something for someone else’s benefit? It’s not always something you don’t enjoy. But what other reason would you have for doing something that you don’t take pleasure from? ”
“I guess your right baby, I was being obedient.” Bella had a way of looking at things from such a simple perspective.
“Jane also said that we are like a see-saw.” I looked at her questionably as she laid back down on her side.
“What?”
“Actually, the see-saw was my analogy. She said that whatever I give to you, you give back. So I shouldn’t feel bad about depending on you.”
“Why would you feel bad about that?” She looked away from me and I cupped her chin, but she still didn’t meet my eyes. “Bella?”
“It scares the hell out me Edward!” Her admission had me bewildered and she must have noticed. “Don’t you see? I never had anyone who I could depend on for any length of time. One way or another they always left me, so I find myself wondering how long before you do the same thing?”
“I’m not going anywhere baby. I don’t think I could if I wanted to; I find myself so totally drawn to you that I believe it would cause me physical pain to be away from you.” That admission caused me to be worried that she might think I was obsessed with her in an unhealthy way.
“Some things are even out of your control.” What did she mean by that? I didn’t get to ask because Bella kept talking, “And we talked about Mason.”
Bella was biting her bottom lip and I was certain she had something on her mind to talk to me about. I gave her a few seconds and was just going to ask when she responded. “Jane said that you and Mason were very close.” I nodded because that was no secret.
“I was just wondering if he was the reason you went to medical school, and if he was, why you didn’t finish?”
I thought about her questions rolling onto my back with a heavy sigh.
“Was he the reason? No…yes...partly. Ever since I could remember, I had wanted to be a doctor. That might have something to do with Mason being sick when he was younger, or maybe it was me just admiring my father.” Bella sat up wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees watching me.
“I did finish medical school. I just didn’t do residency, and I have no desire to do it now. I can’t see putting in all that time for something I deem inconsequential.”
“Edward, how can you say it’s unimportant?”
I looked in her eyes trying to figure out where this line of questioning was coming from.
“I can say it Bella, because it’s true. Mason had the best doctors and specialists and it didn’t fucking matter.” I realized I was raising my voice and worked on calming myself.
“Are you mad at him?”
My eyes shot to hers.
“No, why would I be mad? It’s not his fault; he didn’t do anything or ask to get sick. Fucking sixteen year old boys are not supposed to die, Bella. They are supposed to play football, skip school, and get a bad fucking blow job in the back of their parent’s car. Not lay bald in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out all over them, while some asshole team of doctors stand there giving false hope just so they can try new procedures out on him.”
“Then you’re mad at the doctors?”
I closed my eyes. “I’m disillusioned with the whole medical establishment. It’s not about helping people; it’s about money, and prestige, and how much of both you can get. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“I was angry with my mother; I blamed her death for all the mistakes I made in my life. It’s a normal response to grief, five stages and all that. But I always thought if she would have loved me more than she loved Phil, she would have stayed home with me rather than go on that trip with him.”
“Baby, she didn’t want to die…,”
Bella spoke before I could finish. “I know that Edward, it’s just that ever since I was eight years old, I always felt second best. My mother chose Phil, Charlie chose fishing, my grandparents chose my mother’s memory, and James…oh man, I can’t even tell you how far down on his list I was. The point is that I don’t feel that way when I’m with you.”
I looked in her eyes they were pleading with me to understand.
“And that scares you.” I stated simply.
“Petrifies me.”
“Because you think I’m going to leave you?”
Bella shook her head. “No, I think you are going to be taken away from me by someone or something more important.”A sad smile played on her lips
“That sound’s really selfish of me doesn’t it?” I sat up pulling her into my lap
“No baby, not selfish”
If there was one thing Bella was not it was selfish. She was however insecure about so many aspects of her life. I held her as close to me as possible, she needed to know how important she was to me.
“Baby I can’t promise you that things are going to be moon light and roses or perfect all the time. But I can promise you that nothing will ever be more important to me then you are. You are in my life – no, fuck that shit...you are my life, and there is nothing I can say to make you believe that, the only thing I can give you is time. However long it takes to prove that everyone and everything else in this world pales in comparison to you in my heart.” I tucked her head under my chin stroking the length of her hair.
“It might take a lifetime Edward.”
I smiled kissing the top of her head.
“I’ll give you a lifetime, my lifetime Bella.”
I’d give her a million lifetimes if it made her feel more secure. I knew the fear that was eating at her, the unknown and the unexpected. There was nothing I could do about the curve balls that get thrown our way, but I could show her that no matter what, I would be there in whatever capacity she needed me to be in. My hand trailed down to the end of her hair coming in contact with the remnants of ointment on her back making her flinch.
“How’s your back, does it hurt?”
“No, it just feels…tight.”
Alex had said to keep A&D ointment on it for the first two days, so I had Bella lay on her stomach so I could apply some more. When I was done she put on her robe and we went downstairs, she ate some cheese and bagel chips while Seth went out one last time.
Bella had wanted to take the dog back to her house, but I preferred that he was here. I had an uneasy feeling that something was amiss. I couldn’t say any one thing stuck out, it was more of several little things that made me apprehensive. That collar incident still had me baffled, whether it was the dog himself or neighborhood kids, I didn’t like it. I just wasn’t sure how to get her to leave him here or herself for that matter. That thought did remind me of something.
“You know that see-saw thing you were talking about?” I asked her sitting down at the table with a glass of milk and an apple.
“Yes, what about it?” She sliced off some cheese and was eyeing my apple.
“Whatever I get, I’m supposed to give back. You said that’s how it works?”
“Yes?” Her voice sounded unsure. “Edward, can I have a hunk of that apple?”
I took the knife slicing off a small section and handing it to her.
“Thanks.”
Amused, I watched her slice the piece into half a dozen smaller ones then sandwiching them between a chip and cheese.
“Well then here, I have these for you.” Bella took the set of keys I had made her, eyeing me skeptically. “I have access to your house, now you have access to mine.”
“You are giving me keys to your house?” She asked before popping one of those things she made into her mouth.
“Yes, I am. You might need to get in some time when I’m not around.” Her face fell, like I had pained her. I thought about what I said and then added, “you know, in case I’m busy or at work or whatever.”
Bella’s face broke into a huge grin, “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. One more thing, I really enjoyed taking Seth on my run yesterday. Do you think it would be alright if I did it on a regular basis?”
“Sure, he would probably like that.” Just then there was a scratch at the back door. Bella finished her snack and cleaned up while I let Seth in and checked the doors before we went up to bed. I found I enjoyed these little scenes of domestic life. Simple things like working together in the kitchen took on a whole new meaning.
Bella wore one of my older t-shirts to bed, so that the ointment wouldn’t get on the sheets. She snuggled into my arms resting her head on my chest.
“Edward do you know what I found the most interesting today?”
“What?”
“Jane kept telling me that I had to pay attention to what I was doing and use self discipline. When Aro came to say they had to leave, he gave her five minutes to finish up. She set a timer, but she set it for half a minute less so that she was in the other room exactly on time. I thought that was ingenious. I don’t know if I would have thought of that.”
“She’s had over twenty years to perfect her skills Bella, don’t compare yourself. Besides, she was more than likely punished for being late and came up with that so it wouldn’t happen again.” I didn’t want her to think that she was in any way inferior.
“I know, but I don’t know if in twenty years I would have thought of that. Oh, and she also said that had she turned off her phone without telling Aro that she did, she said that she wouldn’t be able to sit down for a long time.”
I bet she wouldn’t.
I listened to Bella keep talking, “Do most submissive’s get spanked as a punishment? Because wouldn’t they like that?”
I chuckled, “I assume that the majority gets spanked and no, a punishment spanking is not enjoyable. The instrument used is harsh, the strikes are forceful, and the marks remain for days.”
“Is it violent?”
I thought about her question before answering, “No, it is controlled and ritualistic like everything else in our lifestyle and if the submissive is unable to handle it, they safe word.”
Bella pushed herself up so she could look in my face. “You can safeword a punishment?”
“Absolutely, you can and should safe word whenever you need to.” I thought I had made that clear before.
“Edward if they can safeword, why don’t they?” How could I explain this? Perhaps this is something that might be better explained from a submissive’s point of view.
“You know what Bella; I don’t really have the answer for that. I know why I think they don’t, but I believe that might be a better question for Jane. If you don’t mind I am going to let her answer that one? Now, how about we go to sleep?” She snuggled back into her spot in my arms letting out a small yawn.
The room was dark and quiet; Bella’s breathing was deep and even. I wasn’t exactly sure what woke me, but looking at the clock I saw it was too early to get up. Seth was over by the window with his paws on the glass looking outside. I smacked my lips together calling him back over to his own bed. Bella stirred slightly in my arms.
“Edward. Don’t leave me. Please…I love you, don’t leave me…,” I held her tighter to my body kissing her forehead and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere baby; not without you.” Before I drifted back to sleep.
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