Chapter 70

EPOV
I had three choices.

I could pretend that I hadn’t heard or cared that Bella offered her time to my sister, which being Saturday was actually my time she was giving away. I could speak with her about the infraction, let her help my sister and then reprimand her with a small punishment. The last option would be to forbid Bella from going to Alice’s and instead admonish her thoughtlessness with a harsh penalty.

The first choice was completely out of the question. Bella’s inattention to detail was not something that I was going to be able to let her get away with. Even though she had good intentions that would ultimately benefit my sister, she should have asked me first. My plans for the morning had no bearing on our arrangement. Her time from Friday night at six pm until Sunday night at six pm was not her own. Without a prior warning or an emergency she could make no plans for herself without my permission. I knew it and as soon as the words left her mouth Bella knew it too. Her eyes shot to mine holding my gaze for a brief moment with an expression of guilt.

No, I couldn’t just overlook the infraction because it was not something that I would want to continue happening. Besides that, the control that I maintained over Bella demanded that she be held accountable. At the very least she would be expecting some kind of retribution even if that only entailed a lecture. Which judging by the submissive posture she held at that moment would more than likely be enough.

However, sitting on the beach with my family eating lunch was neither the time nor the place for that conversation. Picking up the bag of pretzels I held it out to Bella in offing. When she stuck her hand in to take some muttering a thank you without looking at me, I figured I needed to do something that would ease her tension. Lifting her chin with my thumb I leaned in for a quick kiss whispering against her lips, “Don’t fret nâhtötse, we’ll talk about it later.”

Bella smiled sadly, “ái-ásgaya.”

Yes Sir

There was no need for the Sir and there was no need for Bella to feel sad either. We would talk about what happened and she would have a small punishment in the form of a writing assignment. To be honest I was even considering dropping that because in my mind it would be punishment enough to spend the time with fifteen five year olds. I couldn’t even imagine the torture that would be. Besides Bella was just being Bella, giving of herself to help someone she cares about. I couldn’t fault her for that, but it couldn’t go unnoticed either.

Putting my arm around Bella’s shoulder I pulled her closer, placing a kiss on her head. Trying to let her know that there was no reason to feel dejected. I hated to see her like that, all those old insecurities making their way to the surface. There had been enough uncertainty for the day.

Mom coming to our room early in the morning to tell me about breakfast caused Bella some alarm. In hind-sight that was my fault. When I closed the doors to the bathroom and bedroom it would have been a good idea to let Bella know that we had company. To be honest I didn’t think that mom would stay as long as she did. However, after basically yelling at me for not answering the phone she continued to babble on asking more questions about our time in Forks. She wanted to know what Bella’s father was like, my impressions of the town, and if anything unusual happened. After that we talked about Marcus coming to town and some possible family get-togethers with him and Aro. Her mention of my uncles reminded me of what Emmett had told me the night before. I hadn’t a chance to tell Bella about Jessica and Mike and I wanted to do that.

Mom had tried to talk me into cancelling room service and joining them, that wasn’t happening. Bella had given me a better offer, spending the morning naked in bed was a whole lot more appealing than the local pancake house. After mom couldn’t entice me with ninety-nine different varies of hotcakes she was just getting ready to leave when Bella came through the door. With her face hidden behind the bouquet of roses, her telling me about the pig-tails and making herself all clean and ready for me to defile her again was hysterical.

My mother’s face dropped for a brief second as she mentioned the roses, but it was the look on Bella’s face that was absolutely priceless. She turned four shades of red before she stammered out any words and I couldn’t help but laugh, because my girl was just too damn cute. Trying to redeem herself Bella offered mom her phone number saying that she always has her phone on and I didn’t miss the way her foot seemed to twitch. That lessoned had been learned.

I didn’t want to admit that I had heard my phone vibrating against the night stand but chose to ignore it, because at the time I was busy. The Earth could have opened up to swallow us whole and I would have continued with my intended mission.

Everything was going to wait while I convinced Bella of my love for her including the phone. What I should have done was checked the missed call log that would have eliminated moms need for a visit. I didn’t truly understand Bella’s full embarrassment until mom left.

In my mind we loved each other, besides even if that wasn’t the case we’re both consenting adults with a healthy sex drive. My mother was in no way a prude, she could appreciate playful banter the same as anyone else. Holding Bella in my arms while she talked about my mom having a low opinion of her, I could empathize. The whole time we spent at Forks I had wanted to put my best foot forward, so that Charlie, Sue and everybody else would be accepting of me. I tried to tell Bella that my parents adored her, in fact everyone was so taken by her charms she was already considered family. The small progress that I made in reassuring her was lost from my carelessness on the balcony.

The discussion of the play session we had the day before was not taking place during our standard usual time. That is not something I care to do, in fact it wasn’t something I had ever done before. Then again with every other woman, once the D/s time was over they were removed from my daily life, leaving no time for talking outside of our perspective roles. With Bella all of that was different, the boundaries were changed with no clear line that shouldn’t be crossed.

I was truly astonished at the maturity she showed in the entry that she started in her journal. I would wager to guess that the majority of seasoned submissive’s, those that had been serving for years have not questioned themselves on why they submit. If asked most would give a standard answer ‘because it brings my Dom pleasure’. That would be a suitable reason for me as the Dominant but for Bella to take it a step further questioning her own motives was very insightful. I wanted to know her reasons and told her to exhaust every motive she could think of. All those answers would help Bella to grow, along with giving me a clearer perspective of proceeding with her training. The task I had given her was part of that and would provide her with personal growth. It would also give me a way to see how she rationalizes priorities, and then the steps she takes to incorporate them into her life.

I knew she was stressing out over the goals I asked her to set and we could have talked about it all morning if need be. Instead she turned into an obstinate toddler - right down to the pig-tails - who needed correction from her daddy.
All of that previous maturity Bella had shown was extinguished with one word, ‘Why?’

Only it wasn’t just a word, it was an overblown insolent whine that like nails on a chalk board caused my skin to crawl. Having to give a reason for anything is outside the bounds of normal protocol. However, had Bella taken a more courteous approach; she might have received a response. As it was - the disrespectful tone only served to irritate me to the point where I needed to remind her to keep the rudeness under control.

Bella knew she pushed the constraints of behavior and in the back of my mind I knew that we were not in a full D/s mode. Yet because of the nature of our discussion along with conveying my instructions for her journaling the line was skewed. We had crossed over out of boyfriend/ girlfriend give and take, landing directly in the middle of Master/sub obligations.

There was not a doubt in my mind that Bella knew she overstepped the limits of acceptable behavior as she remained quiet while dropping her eyes into a submissive pose. Once I had her look at me, her eyes told me that she was sorry before the words even left her mouth. After I sat back to collect myself, Bella remained stiff in her seat. I could feel the anxious condemnation coming off her which made me want nothing more than to calm the apprehension she was experiencing.

Kneeling down Bella rested her head against my thigh, letting out a deep exhale while I felt all the tension she was holding on to disappear as her shoulders relaxed. We stayed like that; I gently stroked her skin while she nuzzled my leg making small little purring sounds. Had we stayed in that position I wouldn’t have been in hot water with my parents. My attention was on Bella and I will admit I was enjoying the sounds of contentment coming from her, but for the most part my eyes were looking out onto the beach. Moving her was my mistake.

All I wanted to do was finish our conversation, steal a kiss and head back into the bedroom. Vinny’s voice was not a welcomed sound. My gaze came in contact with my father’s and I moved quickly to get Bella off her knees. However the damage was done, they knew exactly what was going on.

Much like I had done to Bella earlier, Emmett found my precarious situation to be funny. Jasper’s scowl was completely understandable. On several occasions he had made reference to Bella’s abusive past. Perhaps it was the physician in him that felt like during her marriage, she had enough control exerted over her. He didn’t understand the need for more, nor did he comprehend Bella’s desire for it. To him – as with any outsider - he saw a D/s relationship as solely bringing pleasure to the Dominant. And there was absolutely no grasping of any reason to bring pain play into the mix. According to him that was equivalent to abuse, regardless of Bella’s wishes.

However, it was the total look of devastation on my parent’s faces that caused me the most duress. They were well aware yet had never seen any kind of interaction between me and a submissive. Staring into their faces I could tell that this was something that I would definitely be hearing about. I was also sure that just like Jasper their notions of proper conduct was twisted simply because of the woman involved. I wasn’t lying or trying to ease Bella’s mind when I said that my parents adored her, because they did. In fact at that moment and judging from the looks of dismay I was getting it was fair to say they favored her over me.

Emmett tried to ease some of the tension with an inquest to our breakfast, however standing by my side Bella was fidgeting. At the time I thought her actions was in response to the scrutiny of my family. Later on while we were back in the safety of our bed, she told me that most of her uneasiness was due to what she was wearing. Or rather the lack of what she had on and the fact that everyone was looking up. Her admission was comical making me laugh which she did not find as funny as I did.

Finishing with lunch Bella was still quiet as she leaned against my side and I could only imagine how she was berating herself. My words of comfort to not fret didn’t seem to have very much of an effect on her. We were going to have to talk it out so that she could relax and go back to enjoying the day.

“Let’s go look for some seashells,” I said giving her shoulder a squeeze. Bella nodded while gathering up our garbage. Once she had everything together I stood holding out my hand to help her to her feet.

Vinny looked at us with hopeful eyes, “Can I go?”

“Sure, if it’s ok with your mom.” Bella looked at me with a genuine smile finally figuring out that if I was letting my nephew come along she couldn’t be in that much trouble.

After putting the bag with our garbage in by the enormous tote she brought down with her – what the hell does she need at that stuff for? - Bella took my hand. Vinny clasped a hold of her other one as we started walking down the beach along the water’s edge. Vinny was kicking his feet, splashing water and wet sand as we went along. He was jabbering on about all kinds of stuff. The biggest tale was about how one of his classmates – Nickolas - who told him that when he went to the beach he burnt his feet on the sand. Then Vinny wondered why he didn’t burn his own feet.

“Well,” Bella started, “I guess your friend Nickolas must have gone to a beach were it is really sunny. That makes the sand get hotter and it can burn the bottom of your feet.”

He looked up at her with a quizzical expression, “What if you sat down in it? Would it burn your butt?”

We both laughed I was going to tell him yes but Bella answered first, “How could you burn your butt when you’re wearing a swimming suit?”

“What if you have to poop? Then you have to take off your pants.”

That’s a rational five year old

Bella was more diplomatic, “You wouldn’t go poop on the beach. That would be gross.”
Vinny seemed to consider that for a second, “But if you go poop and your swimming suit falls in the toilet, then you can burn your butt. Right?

“Dude, what do you want to burn your butt for?” if he kept asking there had to be a reason.

“So I can stick it in the ocean without freezing,” We laughed at his logic, but he was right, the water was cold and I suppose if your ass was on fire you wouldn’t mind it too much.

We had walked a good distance from the hotel stopping by the jetties so Vinny could look for more seashells. While he was busy Bella turned to face me, looking up through her lashes she talked in a soft voice. “My mouth spoke before my brain could stop it.”

“About what?” I knew but decided to argue ignorance.

She looked at me with a doubtful expression, “You know.”

“Are you referring to your plans for Saturday?”

Bella nodded and then acknowledged, “I should have asked first, making sure that you didn’t have any plans for me while you were gone.”

She still hadn’t given me the full impact of her transgression, so I hedged, “And that would be my concern because?”

“Look at this one Uncle Eddie,” Vinny broke into our conversation by handing me a piece of a broken Oyster shell.

Looking at it I told him what it was before handing it back so he could hunt for more. Bella’s eyes followed his movements for a second before looking back to me. “It’s during our…usual time and…you didn’t …I had no right to…”

The words were stammering out, she knew what I wanted to hear but couldn’t come up with the exact phrase. I helped her out by completing the sentence, “steal your time away from me.”

“Yes”

Taking a deep breath I exhaled slowly while holding her gaze, “I knew you realized at once that you misspoke. However, the words were already out and they couldn’t be taken back and I could understand that your heart was in the right place…”

“But my brain took a poop.”

I laughed at her adding, “in the hot sand, that’s going to burn your ass.”

“Are you going to punish me?” the words were spoken in a hush, so that little ears could not overhear.

I could only imagine the lecture I would get if Vinny repeated that little piece of information. The mental image of my parent’s faces when he told them that Uncle Eddie was punishing Aunt Bella was not something I wished to witness in person.

Pushing that thought to the back of my mind I answered her “Are you expecting me
too?” Bella’s face scrunched up in contemplation making me wonder. “Or perhaps a better question is, do I need to? Because what’s the whole purpose behind a punishment?”

“To deter the behavior?” Bella’s answer was asked with a curious tone and in that I had her Saturday morning writing assignment.

That piece of information would remain undisclosed until the right time. “I’ll let you know later what I decide. For right now Isabella, you committed to help my sister and so you shall, the rest we will worry about later.”

Wrapping my arms around the small of her back I pulled Bella close to me, my thumb skimming over the softness of her skin while she rested her head against my chest.

“Hey no nooky on the beach!” Bella giggled at Vinny’s perception of what was happening as she stepped away from me.

“I thought you weren’t going to repeat that word?” my question made him think for a moment before his bright face twisted until his nose was all wrinkled up, “Oh yeah,
I forgot.”

“Emmett is in sooo much trouble,” Bella murmured taking my hand as we turned to walk back to the rest of the family.

Vinny was a few steps ahead of us, his hands overflowing with shells and rocks. Bella gripped my hand slightly tighter as the two girls who introduced themselves earlier were strolling towards us. As they got closer the one with black hair – Jackie.. Jennifer.. I didn’t remember her name – smiled at me and waved, “Hi Edward.”

Her eyes went to Bella who squeezed my hand even tighter when I answered with a ‘hi’ as we walked past them. After a few more steps I couldn’t take it anymore, “Baby you’re hurting my hand.”

“Am I? Uh, imagine that.”

I chuckled releasing her hand to wrap my arm around her shoulder tucking her against my side. I was expecting Bella to say something about the women we just passed so I was taken aback by her question.

“Edward did you know about what Aro did to Mike and Jessica?”

“Ummm…” I did know, however I wasn’t aware that she knew.

Bella stopped walking looking up at me with an angry scowl, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I just found out late last night and believe me when I say that with you naked in my bed all morning, the last thing on my mind was Jessica Stanley.”

“Mmmm,” Bella’s face softened, “good answer,” she muttered.

Chuckling at Bella’s reaction we started walking faster to catch up with Vinny. I had wondered how Bella heard about what happened at the club and then wasn’t surprised that Rose had told her. We spoke back and forth about what had occurred along with Aro’s response. Rose had informed her of exactly the same thing Emmett told me and I assured Bella I had no other information. She then regaled me with her thoughts, telling me more of what Jess had said to her that night in the bathroom along with her theories. The more Bella talked the more things started to make sense. If Mike was using Jess to do something for him that he didn’t want anyone to know about, then it would stand to reason that he would try to hide their association. Then there was the question of who else Mike was in bed with, both literally and figuratively. I agreed with Bella that if Jess said she was reduced to playing third fiddle then there was definitely someone more important to him.

Vinny ran up to show his mom the treasures he had found when Bella stopped dead in her tracks. “Edward how many times has Jessica been to your house?”

Not wanting to get into this discussion I dropped her hand and groaned. Bella grabbed my arm, “No listen…” I could see the wheels turning in her brain as the freaky woman’s intuition that I had heard men talk about came to the surface. “…she knows the layout of your house right?”

Nodding my head as I was still unsure where this was going Bella went on, “Then do you think that maybe it was Jessica who tried to break in?”

“No,” I dismissed that thought immediately. “Bella I’ve known her for years, she wouldn’t…”

“Are you sure? Because she was mad that you stopped being with her. And that night in the bathroom was the night after someone broke into the house and she told me that she had just got her ass chewed out for something that wasn’t her fault. So she must have messed something up, really bad.”

Staring at Bella I couldn’t or rather didn’t want to believe that Jess would try to break into my house. Bella became adamantly excited, “And…the night of the break in…earlier wasn’t Mike there? The person who broke in was a girl,” Bella’s eyes shifted as she formulated her thoughts, “and they tried to silence the alarm by putting in the original code, but right before we went to Alice’s you changed it. So…”

She stopped talking to give me a piercing glare, “Did you put in the code on the security box in front of Mike?”

Did I? I must have

“I think I did.”

Bella gasped in realization as her eyes widened while she looked past me talking to one in particular . “OH my god. It was Jessica. But Mike gave her the wrong code.”

“Bella, that’s ridiculous. What would Mike want in my house? Besides Jess wouldn’t do that…”

Her eyes whipped back to me, “Why? Because you fucked her? Because believe me she was pretty damn pissed that you aren’t fucking her anymore.” The malice in her voice was raw and I knew that there was still more that Jess had said to Bella that I was not privy to.

Bella turned attempting to stomp away from me taking her arm she swung back around to look at me with tear filled eyes. “Listen to me…”

“No, you listen to me,” She spit the words out at me. “You can believe anything you want to about your precious Jessica, but I’m telling you,” She said in anger pointing a finger at me.

“Mike gave her the code so she could break in, for whatever reason I don’t know. But he gave her the wrong one and the alarm went off. So she ran away and then got her ass chewed out because whatever he wanted her to do, or get, she didn’t. And whatever she got reamed out for had something to do with me. Because right after she said that she got her ass chewed out for something that wasn’t her fault, her next words were, and here’s the skank-ho herself.”

“She called you a skank-ho?”

Bella narrowed her eyes as she raised her voice a few decibels, “After everything I said, that’s what you dwell on?”

“She shouldn’t call you names.”

“Ed-Ward! I’m telling you that woman broke into our house!” Bella was very adamant about her hypothesis to the point where she stressed both syllables of my name as she shook her finger in front of me for emphasis. I still didn’t want to believe it, but what Bella was saying did seem to fit not only the time-line but the whole scenario of events. Then again, everything Bella was saying was conjecture, all except for one thing.

She said our house.

“Is it our house?”

Bella blink a few times in confusion, “What?”

“You said she broke into our house, not just mine.”

Her mouth dropped open, “Are you kidding me? Again you focus on the most mundane things?”

I pulled her closer to me because three feet of distance was more than I could stand, “Not at all. It’s the most important thing Bella. Everything else is something I can’t change and even though I don’t want to believe that someone who I called my…” I choose my word carefully.

“friend ,would do that. There is nothing that can be done about it right now. But at this moment, you thinking of the house as ours; baby that is the most significant thing you said.”

Bella stared at me in astonishment for a long moment before her face softened and she shook her head with a grin making me smirk.

“You’re…” she was cut off by the sound of my sister’s voice standing at our side, “Are you two done fighting?”

“We weren’t fighting.”

Alice rolled her eyes at me, “Whatever…Mia is napping and Emmett wants to play a game of whiffleball, you in?”

Looking at Bella, she shrugged. Taking that for a yes I answered Alice with a dismissive tone “We’ll be right there.”

Alice leaned her arm on Bella’s shoulder gave me a grin then spoke into her ear loud enough for me to hear, “Give him hell Bella.”

My girl stood there giggling as my dear sister looked at me and laughed before walking away to leave us alone. Bella was still giddy as she wrapped her arms around my waist laying her face against my chest. “Will you at least think about the possibility of what I said? Because I want our house to be safe.”

I couldn’t get over the happy feeling the word our gave me, and even though I still didn’t want to fully believe it, something in the back of my mind told me to take
Bella’s reasoning seriously.

“I will baby,” I told her letting my hand slide down the length of her spine enjoying the slight shiver she made against me as I asked, “How did you get so insightful?”

“I’m a cops daughter,” her answer made me chuckle. Lifting Bella’s chin with my hand I brought my mouth to hers for a quick kiss.

“We will bring all this up to Mr. Weiss on Friday. If it turns out that you are right, then we will press charges. In the meantime, let’s enjoy the rest of the week and not think about Jessica Stanley or Mike Newton. Ok?”
Bella smiled, “OK.”

“Good, I love you.”

Bella lifted up on her toes to give me a kiss, “I love you too.”

“Let’s go play some ball,” at my suggestion she gave a curt nod taking my hand to rejoin everyone.

As we joined the group, my whole family was staring at us with varying expressions. Jasper had narrow eyes of uncertainty which were in direct contrast with my brother. Emmett’s eyes were so wide I thought they were ready to pop out of his head. Rose grinned smugly while my parents smiled at me with genuine warmth. I wanted to ask them what the hell the problem was.

Emmett started to chuckle, “Ok if Edward’s done having his balls handed to him…” his words made Jasper snicker, “…can we play now?”

Bella tsked giving me a sideward glance as her face turned a darker shade of pink. I wanted to stand up for myself but my girl had it covered. “Watch out RosCoe, you might just lose your beep beep.”

Jasper and I burst out laughing at Bella’s reminder of Emmett’s masturbating chant. While he glared at her completely speechless as she walked passed him to get a drink. He followed her motion until she stood by Rose, the two of them giggling. Looking back at me he grinned, “It’s always the innocent looking ones. They are all cute and cuddly, until the claws come out.”

“Ok, what are the teams?” dad wondered still smiling at me.

What the fuck was that about?

We spent a few minutes trying to make the teams fair, just when I thought it was all figured out Emmett had a change of plans. “Rosie is going to ump, so I’ll take Vinny and the girls against you three.”

That didn’t sound like even teams to me; I thought we should at least take one of the girls. Alice was a fairly decent pitcher as long as the distance wasn’t too far. Mom always played with us, and even though she wasn’t very good there was an advantage to having her on your team. No one ever threw her out, because what kind of an asshole tries to take out his own mother? I had absolutely no idea about Bella. The only thing athletic I had ever seen her do was the one morning we went jogging together. If that was any indication of her agility on the ball field, Emmett was in for a rude awakening.

“Ok here’s the deal, six innings, we bat last,” Emmett pointed his thumbs to his chest, then both index fingers at our team, “and get ready to loose, suckers!”
We used whatever we had for bases, Frisbees, water bottles; the pitcher’s mound was one of Mia diapers with a circle drawn around it. They took the field, Alice was pitching, Mom and Bella were in the infield with Vinny and Emmett further back.
Dad stepped up to lead off, and Emmett yelled, “Bella move to right center!”

She looked around and took a few steps towards left making me laugh under my breath. I was going to correct her when my brother yelled again, “Right Bella, Right!”

She turned around shaking her fist in the air, “This is right!”

Emmett groaned, “not your right, the field’s right!”

She still didn’t seem to grasp what he meant, once again I was going to go help her but Emmett beat me to it. Placing his hands on her hips he guided her to the spot between first and second base. Then spoke quietly to her while Bella nodded her head at whatever he was saying. As Emmett went back to his spot Jasper called out, “Are you sure about this, don’t be crying later saying our team was stacked.”

“Don’t you worry about it plastic man, the only one going to be crying is you!” I laughed at their banter. Jasper hated being called plastic man as much as I hated Eddie. Emmett came up with the name as soon as Jasper told us that he was specializing in plastic surgery, and my brother never missed a chance to tease him with it.

Alice’s first few pitches went wild, but once she got into a rhythm she was doing well. Dad hit the ball making it land directly between Bella and mom, both of them ran to get it. Bella got there first, picking it up she threw to Emmett who was covering the base for her but dad was already there.

“That’s alright, that’s alright,” Emmett clapped his hands in a standard coaching technique as he cheered, “That was good coverage little Bella.”

Jasper was up, hitting the first two balls foul, on the second one he argued with Rose that it stayed in the base line. Rose stood her ground and Emmett yelled, “The crying starts already!”

Jasper got so riled up that he hit the next ball high and long right to Emmett who caught it easily. As I stepped up to bat I was having a dilemma with myself of who to hit the ball to. After all, there were women and children on that field, and not just any women, but two of them were the most important women in my life.

Alice’s first pitch sailed by me and Rose called out, “Strike!”

Taking a deep breath I hit the next ball sending it to the space between Vinny and Emmett, dropping the bat I ran, passing first and heading to second when I saw Bella standing on the base. My mind warred with itself, the competitive side said ‘so what’ while the chivalrous side screamed “it’s Bella!”

In the mist of my internal struggle Emmett threw her the ball and she got a smug smile on her face, “Got cha!”

Apparently my girl had no qualms about tagging me out. That fact squashed the gentleman in me quickly.

“Oh, it’s on Swan.”

She grinned with conceit, “Bring it Cullen.”

Dad was stranded on third as Jasper made the last out. Emmett’s line up had the girls batting first, mom and Alice each made it safely to their bases, bringing up Bella who looked awful sexy in her ruffled bikini, holding a bat. She swung at the first two balls Jasper threw, missing them. On the third one she leaned into the pitch, hitting the ball low to my father who was in left. Bella ran towards me and I was so mesmerized by the way her breasts bounced that I completely missed dad throwing the ball. The soft thud against my chest brought me back but it was too late, by the time I picked the ball out of the sand Bella was already safe, and laughing at me.

That’s why girls don’t play baseball - Fucking bouncing breasts

Mom scored the first run of the game when Vinny batted, on Emmett’s turn we turned a triple play, catching the fly, dad ran Alice out at home and I tagged Bella at third. Emmett boasted loudly about taking the lead but it was short lived. We laughed and teased each other all the way through the game. Only stopping to take a break after the third inning to get a drink and check on Mia, who was sleeping in the little collapsible tent by the lounge chairs. At the bottom of the sixth and last inning our team was ahead twelve to nine.

Emmett looked a little dismayed walking quietly off the makeshift field to gather his team for their last at bats. “Ok everybody huddle!”

Jasper, dad and I stood by the pitcher’s mound watching the five of them put their heads together in a circle.

“What the heck is he up to?” Dad wondered.

“I don’t know,” Jasper chuckled, “maybe he’s having flashbacks of last year’s football season. He’s probably trying to explain a crossing route.”
I chucked adding, “Watch at the last minute he’ll call out an audible.”

“Next thing you know they’ll be taking a knee,” Dad chortled.

As we laughed Bella quickly peeked her head out of the circle, with an amused look then quickly got back in line. A few seconds later Emmett jammed his thumb in our direction it appeared that it was going to be a long wait so I needed some specifics. “Dad, when is tee time tomorrow?”

“Nine-thirty, I thought we could leave at eight, go for breakfast …”

“You joining us for breakfast Edward, or do you have other plans?”

Defending myself to Japer I explained that I wasn’t aware of their breakfast plans for that morning and that by the time mom told me, Bella and I had already ordered room service.

“Is that what you call it? Room service…” sarcasm laced Jasper voice.

I was wondering when I would have to hear the backlash of my family catching us on the balcony. Jasper all of a sudden became agitated as he yelled impatiently, “Are you ready yet?”

Emmett stayed in position as he yelled back, “In a minute!”

Jasper let out a deep breath as his eyes fixed on me, his face hardened. “It certainly looked like some kind of servicing was going on.”

My eyes narrowed at the implication, “There was nothing inappropriate going on.”
Jasper either didn’t believe me or he didn’t want to accept it. “Really Edward? That woman who stood down there on the beach giving you a piece of her mind, you’re telling me she got on her knees, because she wanted to?”

That’s right asshole she did

My anger at his words caused me to talk through a clinched jaw, “You shouldn’t talk about something you have no understanding of.”

“Boys,” always the voice of reason my father tried to interject. He looked to me, “Jasper is only talking out of concern for Bella’s welfare.”

The only person who needs to be concerned with Bella’s welfare was me, and I was going to tell him that when dad turned to Jasper, “However, Bella is an adult who can speak for herself and we have to respect her decisions.”

I could tell that Jasper had more to say however instead of lashing back at me he took his frustration out on Emmett. “Come on already!”

Glancing over to see if they were still in the huddle I saw Alice give us a quick glance. As her head went back into the fold I let a sigh of frustration. Jasper meant well, and even though it wasn’t his concern I couldn’t fault him for looking out for Bella. The truth of the matter was that the woman, who –as he said- was giving me a piece of her mind, can be and was the same one who gets on her knees.
It can be hard to understand how a vibrant, strong, independent person can submit their whole self to someone else, yet still be autonomous. The thing most people don’t understand is the ingrained need that lies in the heart of a submissive. It would be simple to say, “It’s just who they are” and leave it at that.

The answer is so much more complex yet simple in the basic philosophy. Every person on the face of this earth wears several hats, often more than one at the same time. A solitary woman in one single day takes on many different facets of life. She is wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, neighbor, friend and lover, all rolled into the same person. At any given time she is called upon to implement whatever skills she has learned to flawlessly serve in the desired role.

The submissive side of her nature works the same way. Simply because she has consented to serve a Dominant doesn’t take away from who she is. It is the need to serve that drives her to her knees, yet all those other parts of her are still there. The hopes, dreams, and fears she holds inside her as a wife are all present in the slave. She is human and will at times loose her temper, feel sad, and get moody just like everyone else.

It doesn’t matter how much control a Dominant has over her, whether she is a play slave such as Rose, a true submissive as Bella is, or a slave like Jane. The natural humanity is always there along with all the aspects of her being. In the case of Bella and what Jasper was referring to as her giving me a piece of her mind; it would not have mattered when that discussion occurred, she could no sooner have kept silent at the situation than I could have held back the tides. Submissive or not she would have reacted in the exact same fashion, because that’s who she is.

The woman who shook her finger at me in agitation is the same one who looks loving up at me from her place at my feet. It’s just another role that makes up the perfection that is my Bella.

“Break!” Emmett yelled.

“It’s about time!” Jasper called out still sounding a bit disgruntled.

We were going to have to talk

Looking over at Bella I smiled at the sight of my mother and her standing off to the side. Mom had an arm draped over Bella’s shoulder as they spoke amongst themselves. Vinny followed Emmett to where they were talking, my brother wrapped his arm over Bella’s other shoulder and spun her around so her back was facing me. I couldn’t help but take in the beauty of her form; the muscles in her legs toned and defined leading to the swell of her bottom, which was camouflaged by the tiny ruffles around the bottom of her suit. It might have been masked from everyone else but I knew what was there, all her secrets and treasures couldn’t be hidden from me.

At the thought of the sweet, juicy gem that lay behind a small scrap of beige plaid fabric my dick jolted to life. I hadn’t realized that the groan left my throat until Jasper asked if I was alright. He no longer seemed agitated, yet I knew our talk would be forthcoming. “I’m fine, let’s finish this.”

Yes, finish so I can get started

My dick was screaming at me and no matter how much I tried to curb his eagerness, sometimes little Eddie just had a mind of his own.

I stood in center right waiting as Alice picked up the bat, stopping to listen to whatever last bit of information Emmett was saying to his team. Emmett bent down to Vinny’s level said something and seemed pleased when Vinny nodded in agreement. As Alice took the plate, everyone else dissipated, leaving Bella standing there looking bewildered.

Rose called out the first strike and my dick jump for joy.

One down, eight more to go!

On the second strike my attention went back to Bella who sensing my gaze looked into my eyes. There was no expression on her face, and I wondered once again what was going through that pretty little mind of hers.

She reached her hands up into her hair, jetting her breast out in an offering to me. My eyes stayed focus on the soft mounds that swelled ever so subtlety out over the top of the bikini she was wearing. Blinking my eyes I realized her fingers were threading through the length of her hair. I watched as she gathered it over her shoulders innocently stroking the long tresses until the back of her finger came in contact with her breast. She must have been lost in thought as her knuckles slowly skimmed over the soft peaks.

That was not helping my hard-on.

“Edward pay attention!” dad yelled running to get the ball that rolled to a stop closer to me. By the time he threw it, Alice was already on base and I swear my dick yelled at me.

Shit – now I have to wait longer!

Shaking that thought from my head, I glanced back to Bella who was looking at me with a soft smile which I returned. Thinking that I’d better keep my head in the game my attention went to Vinny. Jasper had moved a few steps closer and on the first pitch he hit the ball in a high arch that came down in the sand between dad and Jasper. Both of them took their time in retrieving it, letting Vinny get to first base and Alice just beat dad back to second.

Mom was up next and I have to admit I was getting a little worried, we were up by three but I knew that none of us would throw out Vinny. No one would dispute that winning was the name of the game, however making a five year old cry to do it was not so good. With that in mind I knew that we had to get Alice out, let mom and Vinny stay on base, then if Bella was next she would have to go, or better still turn a double play on Emmett.

It didn’t matter to me the sequence; the outcome would be the same.

“Ok mom, let’s go!” Emmett called out while clapping his hands.

Mom took the plate and I turned to see Alice shifting back and forth on her feet, leading towards third. Taking a step in her direction she squealed darting back to the base, making me chuckle by sticking her tongue out at me once safely there.
Mom had two balls and a strike on her when I looked over in Bella’s direction. She stared back at me with an intense expression on her face.

What the fuck is she thinking about?

Her eyes grew a little darker as her breathing picked up; she seemed to shift in the sand like she wanted to rub her thighs together. A soft moist tongue peeked out between her lips wetting them just before her top teeth bit softly into the plumpness. The edges of her teeth skimmed over the surface until the hold they held was released and her lip popped free. The look on Bella’s face was so mesmerizing that I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked like…like she needed a good fucking.

Holy Hell

The sound of Emmett’s yell broke me from the trance Bella had me under, “Yes! Run mom run!”

Emmett was picking up a bat, he was going next. Taking a few steps back I mentally took a quick survey of the situation. The bases were loaded, there were no outs and Emmett was the winning run. We needed to tag Alice and at the very least get Emmett out so Bella would be up, that would be the end of the game. It’s not that I wanted to take my girl out; it was more of the fact that I had a different game in mind that I wanted to play.

Jasper’s first pitch was a ball and Emmett razzed him about his girly arm. While they exchanged more insults my eyes moved once again to Bella. She looked perplexed as her eyes shifted to something in the sand. Following her gaze to the other bat, I figured that the look of trepidation was from her having to bat next.

Jasper threw a great ball making Emmett swing through the air. Alice who was leading off third base clapped her hands yelling, “Come on Em…bring me home!”

Yeah, like that was going to happen

I knew my brother; he liked to wait for that one perfect ball and then swing for the mountains. With that thought in mind I took one more step back so I could be ready to field because I knew it was coming in my direction.

From the corner of my eye I realized that Bella had moved, she turned slowly on the balls of her feet and walked with exaggerated movements to where the bat lay in the sand. It appeared to me that she was dreading picking the plastic toy up as she stood looking down at it with her hands on her hips. Bending at the waist her hands roamed sensually over her pert little bottom and continued to slide down her thighs. When she was completely bent in half she gripped the plastic bat with both hands.
My mind instinctively envisioned her in that very position, wrist secured to ankles, thighs held tightly together while my hands grip her hips and I bury myself inside her.

The little jolts that had been running through my dick turned into a full fledge pounding as she stood up stroking the plastic bat. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered the sound of ‘ball three’ but I couldn’t have cared less. Bella placed the bat between her thighs and sunk to her knees in the sand as if she was in a waiting position. Her thighs were spread wide with the end of the bat jetting out between them.

At the sight of her fingertips slowly moving across the skin of her thighs towards the promise land my feet took a few steps towards her. I hadn’t consciously thought
to move, it was pure reflex, she was mine, she was waiting for me and I wanted her.

Now

Somewhere in the haze of lust I remembered where we were and who we were with, it was the only thing that stopped me. My dick however didn’t like that one bit as it painfully pounded against the material of my swim suit. Little Eddie was screaming at me to get over to Bella and it didn’t help the situation at all when Bella’s hand gripped the end of the bat at her crotch and gave it one long stroke.

“Edward, get the ball!”

Dad’s voice yelling at me caused me to wake up, however I still couldn’t move. Shaking my head clear of the fog, my eyes moved from Bella’s hands to her face. She was staring at me and I wanted to tell her to continue but I realized that everyone was running around the bases. The ball had landed twenty feet behind me close to the water’s edge. Picking it up I threw to dad, who threw to Jasper. By that time Alice, Vinny and mom had already scored and Jasper was running to tag Emmett.

“Safe!” Rose called out and their whole team started yelling in excitement while high fiving each other, including Bella who had sometime or another gotten to her feet to stand by mom.

“Women and children…Dudes, we beat you with women and children!” Emmett’s excitement couldn’t be contained as he yelled out in victory. Jasper clearly wasn’t as excited as he questioned, “What the heck were you doing out there Edward?”

What was I doing?

My eyes stared into Bella’s as I thought about what she had done and all I wanted to do was take her up to our room and let her finish what she started. I would have too if not for Vinny’s excited voice breaking through, “You worked it Aunt Bella!”

What?

I must have spoken the word out loud in unison with Jasper. Before Vinny could answer Alice in a somewhat nervous voice told him to go collect the bases.

Something was amiss, and Alice was trying to send away the one person who would tell me what it was. “Wait a minute Vinny. What do you mean worked it?”

His face was bright with excitement as he looked up at me, “Aunt Bella worked it so we could win. Mommy and Uncle Emmett told her to work it good. And she did!”

“She sure did,” I glared at my little tease who took a step behind my mother.

That wasn’t going to help her, wiggling my finger at her I grinned calling her to me, “Come here Bella.”

Her eyes widened as she took another step behind mom shaking her head, “Ah..ut, uh…”

Dad must have figure out that something happened and he questioned, “What did Bella do?” While Jasper started point his finger and yelling, “Shenanigans, I’m calling Shenanigans!”

My eyes were still on Bella who was shrinking further behind my mother, while dad questioned her, “Esme, were you a party to cheating?”

“There was no cheating…” mom tried to explain while Emmett interjected, “You guys lost, face it we are the superior team!”

Thank god for Vinny because the whole story came out, “We didn’t cheat. Uncle Emmett didn’t give Aunt Bella a flashlight.”

“What do you mean flashlight?” Jasper questioned his son who was more than happy to fill in the details, “Uncle Emmett said ‘flash him if you have to’ but he never gave her a flashlight so she couldn’t.”

“Esme!”

Mom got distracted from her protective stance in front of Bella just long enough for me to grab a hold of her arm. She was laughing for a moment until I scooped her up. Then she started to justify herself, “Edward they made me do it!”

“Made you?” I question as I carried her towards the water.

“Yes…they made me. They said take one for the team.”

“Oh, you’re going to take one alright, and you just might get more than one.”

The hold she had around my neck became tighter as we got to the water’s edge, “No…Edward don’t…don’t….please…it’s cold!”

“Well you looked kind of hot a few minutes ago. I’m just trying to keep you comfortable.”

The water was cold as I walked out to my knees with Bella clinging to me begging me, “Please Edward…don’t, it’s so cold!”

I lifted my arms as if I was going to throw her in the water and Bella screamed “No!” while wiggling her body against me. She had moved to an upright position with her chest squashed against mine. My hands loosened their hold and she tightened the hold she had on me to an almost painful level as she wrapped her legs around my waist, clinging to me.

Her fingers threaded through my hair as she looked in my eyes pleading with me, “Please don’t.”

I wasn’t really going to drop her in the water; I just wanted to scare her a little.
“Edward,” the tone of my mother’s voice reminded of times when she scolded us, “don’t you do it.”

Looking over my shoulder, mom was standing on the shoreline with her hands on her hips, daring me to defy her. Bella smiled at me as if she had been saved, but I wasn’t ready to let her off just yet, “But mom, did you see what she did to me?”

Actually I was hoping that mom hadn’t seen, so I was happy with her reply, “I wasn’t watching.”

Good

I thought the word as Bella said it out loud. Our eyes meet and I smiled at her letting her know that she was indeed going to stay dry, “You are quite the tease Ms. Swan.”

Bella smiled as mom called out, “Edward?”

“I won’t.” I said dejectedly smiling down at the woman in my arms who was beaming back at me. “She likes me.”

“What’s not to like?” I asked just before our lips met in a kiss.

My toes were starting to get numb and even though the water was freezing my dick was coming back to life. I figured one hard-on the size of Mount Everest in front of my mother was enough for one day. As I turned to walk back out of the water Bella stopped me.

“What’s that?” she pointed over to something red floating on the surface a few feet away from us. Keeping my hold on Bella we went over to investigate. The small red globe floated on the surface of the water coming closer to us. As it came to within our reach Bella took it out of the water. It was a red glass ball that looked like an artesian had made it. Bella continued to inspect the ball until we got out of the water, where she showed me a number on the area where the glass had been sealed.
Rose and mom were curious about what we had found but Alice knew exactly what it was. She called it a floating fairy. Local artists had started making hand blown glass orbs for the millennium celebration in an attempt to boost the tourist trade.

Every year since then, they make and release two thousand of the floating fairies into the ocean for people to find. The discoverer is allowed to keep them and is given a phone number so that the piece can be registered and the artist is revealed.
Carl was behind the desk when we took the floating fairy in to see if the hotel had the phone number to call. Much like the day we checked in, he was checking out Bella. She had put the white cover-up back on, but the neck hole was very loose, leaving a nice glimpse of the top of her breast, which Carl couldn’t take his eyes off. After he seemed to get enough of a look he was able to give us what we wanted.
We took the floating fairy up to our room; Bella had me make the call because she didn’t want to put her name or address out for public records. After telling the lady on the other end of the phone line the number that was on our piece she told me the artist name and then asked for my name. She told me that the certificate of authenticity would be mailed to us. The last thing she needed was how I wanted the certificate to state our names. There was absolutely no hesitation on my part at her suggestion of, ‘Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.’

Now I only had to hope Bella wouldn’t mind.

Chapter 69

BPOV
Personal goals?
I sat there staring at the journal wondering what the heck that meant. Did Edward want something that had to do with my submission to him or did he mean life in general? Was this task his subtle way of telling me that there was something about me that I needed to change?
That thought was dismissed as soon as it entered my mind. Because I was absolutely sure that if that was the case Edward would simply tell me. Besides that very morning, the whole time that we spent in bed making love he drilled it into my head how much he adored me. He called me beautiful in every way possible so I knew with all my heart that couldn’t be the reason.
“You’re over thinking this Bella.”
I’m over thinking?
Edward used that soothing voice he has that compels me to understand, “I’m not asking you to come up with a cure for cancer. All I’m talking about are small simple goals, nothing more than that.”
“What kind of goals?” Edward frowned at me. I wasn’t asking him to tell me what objectives I should work towards I was just looking for some direction. “I mean, could they be anything?”
“Yes anything. However they should be relevant, specific, and obtainable.”
I heard what he said relevant, specific and obtainable, those were the words that any educator threw out when talking about goal setting. They truly meant nothing to me because I already knew what a goal consisted of. The intellectual part was taken care of; it was the emotional side I wasn’t too sure about. The more I thought about it and what Edward was asking me to do, the more my mind could only come up with one word. Unfortunately my brain was a jumbled mess of vagueness and the word came out in an exaggerated expression of my discontent.
“Why?”
“Why?” Edward spit the word back at me through narrowed eyes as he sat forward in his chair. At his intense glare I could feel my body recoiling.
Shifting in my seat I drew my legs up to tuck them underneath me while he continued to stare. The intensity of his gaze was so strong that my eyes dropped down to my journal that was clutched in my hands while my teeth nervously bit into my lip. I knew it was wrong to question Edward’s direction and my whiny childish tone didn’t help. In fact all it did was make me sound like a spoiled bratty child. Which was exactly how I was feeling, that didn’t get any better as Edward thoroughly reprimanded me.
“You should know by now that I’m not in the habit of having to explain myself. Nor is it your place to question anything that I would have you do. I know that I should have conveyed the task during our usual. However, I was trying to see that you had a sufficient amount of time to think about what is important to you and what you would like to obtain. But make no mistakes Isabella, that task is not a request from your boyfriend it is a demand from your Master. And just to make myself perfectly clear, had your outburst occurred during our usual time, you would have been swiftly punished. As it is I’m teetering with the notion of doing exactly that as a reminder that you are to respect me at all times.”
Not once did Edward raise his voice above a normal tone, he didn’t need to, the point was made. I on the other hand remained quiet while he continued, “If you want to behave like an ornery child I can be accommodating. Is that what you want Isabella? Do you need a time-out?”
“No Sir,” at my answer Edward gave me the signal to look at him. Lifting my gaze his face was impassive with deep penetrating eyes that are reserved for my Master.
“Now…if you can gather your emotions and behave respectfully then we can finish our discussion minus the incisive whining.”
“Your girl is sorry Master; she didn’t mean to behave like a spoiled brat.”
Edward finally blinked while letting out a deep sigh as he sat back in his chair. I on the other hand remained where I was, rigid and afraid to move. Not that I was worried for my safety, Edward would never hurt me. My anxiety was from my desire to not cause him further disappointment or do something that would add to the feeling of division that already surrounded us. To me it felt like there was a wall between us, one of my own making, which alienated the two of us. On his side was everything good, warmth, companionship and acceptance, on my side resided isolation, disgrace and condemnation.
It seemed like forever sitting there waiting for some sort of indication that it was acceptable for me to move. In all actuality in was only a few seconds until Edward gave me the hand signal to come to him. Before I even crossed the three feet that separated us he gestured for me to kneel, which I did gladly. Moving to his side I sunk to my knees settling on the floor as close to his legs as possible.
“Relax nâhtötse.”
At the feel of my face resting against his thigh all the tension left my body as I let out a stuttering breath while the tears fell. I wasn’t full out crying; it was more of an emotional release that I felt at knowing my place in his heart was secure. Edward shushed me while his hand gently stroked across my shoulder and down my arm as the side of my face nuzzled on his leg. The back of his fingers grazed along my cheek passing across my lips where I gently kissed them.
“Better now?” My body had become so relaxed I only nodded at Edward’s question. That wasn’t what he expected from me, “Answer please.”
“Yes Sir,” I replied quietly, keeping my eyes closed in an attempt to stay in that place of quiet peace.
Wordlessly, Edward’s hand continued to stroke across the skin of my shoulder and upper arm. I savored the times that I was allowed to rest at his feet in total submission. No words needed to be said, he was expressing his acceptance of me in the silent form of his touch. I was conveying my need for his admiration through my tranquil surrender and all felt right with the world.
With my eyes closed I enjoyed the feeling of Edward’s hand as it moved over my body. The contact on my bare skin sending tingles of delight through me. I was so very relaxed yet totally aware of my surroundings. The feel of soft flannel against my face masking yet not eliminating his scent as each breath I took drew more of him into me. In that moment there was not a single conscious thought going through my mind. The breeze blowing softly against my face carried the unmistakable smell of saltwater. I could hear the roll of the waves as they crashed over the sand along with the cry of the seagulls scavenging for food. I knew that the sun was rising however under cover of the balcony we were shaded and it was easy to get lost in the serenity.
Sooner than I would have liked Edward’s hand went to the back of neck, gathering both braids he tugged on them tilting my head back. Retaining the tension on my hair he guided my movements until I was upright on my knees and facing him. There was no anger in his expression yet his eyes were dark with seriousness as he spoke.
“Isabella, I’m not expecting anything profound, a two week time period doesn’t allot for anything momentous. All I’m talking about are three personal goals that can be anything you desire as long as they are meaningful, to you, not to me. You will not be judged for the subject matter or for the degree of difficulty in reaching them. The only expectation that I have is your completion of the task, both parts of it. First in making your choices of what you want to achieve and then implementing the steps towards ultimately obtaining them, and I will accept nothing less than that. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes sir.”
Edward’s little speech only brought back to mind the fact that I had to come up with goals. He did make me feel slightly more at ease about the whole thing, by pointing out that a two week time frame wouldn’t allow for anything life-altering. Still, I had no idea what I would work towards or how to even set about deciding, that was something I would have think about. The one thing I didn’t have to dwell on was Edward’s purpose. I was sure he had one yet it was clear that he wasn’t going to divulge his reason to me.
“Alright, so other than your original question of why, is there anything else I can answer?”
My head shook as much as it could with Edward still gripping my hair as I answered, “No Sir.”
“Good.” I watched the expression on his face change as he muttered ‘shit’ right after I heard the pitched voice of a little boy, “Hi Uncle Eddie!”
The hold he had on my hair was released as he answered his nephew with a wave, “Hi Vinny.” Edward took a hold of my elbow helping me to stand up with him. Vinny was saying hello to me as Mia ran after her brother falling down in the sand just as she yelled, “Ankle Addie!”
“Sorry babe, my attention was on you and I didn’t see them coming up the beach,” Edward told me quietly as he wrapped one arm around my back while we stood against the railing. I didn’t know what he was apologizing for until I looked down into the faces of his family.
Alice was too busy picking up Mia and brushing the sand off her to be concerned with us. Rose and Emmett stood next to Jasper, both with a smirks on their faces. Jasper however had the same look of disgust as Carlisle and Esme who glared up at us through wide incensed eyes. Carlisle’s gaze was fixed on Edward shaking his head in disapproval while Esme gave me a vacant stare.
Edward was right - Shit
That was twice in less than two hours that Edward’s mother had caught me in a compromising position.
Oh my god…she does think I’m a degenerate slut!
“How was your breakfast?” Emmett called up to us.
I think that Emmett was trying to defuse the situation. I also realized that even though the baby doll nightie I had on wasn’t form fitting it only went halfway down my thighs and I didn’t have anything on underneath. That thought caused me to stand with my legs pressed tightly together and a little closer to the railing. After being caught on my knees with Edward possessively holding on to my hair, the last thing I needed was for a gust of wind to come along. Something told me that a Marilyn Monroe impersonation wouldn’t go over too well.
Edward was answering his bother while I shuffled on my feet trying to show interest in the seashells that Vinny was holding up. Esme and Carlisle had stopped glaring at us but I was really uncomfortable in my state of dress, especially with them all looking up at us. Edward squeezed my hip and I thought that he was warning me to stand still so I was both surprised and relieved when he whispered in my ear, “Go inside nâhtötse.”
Excusing myself I told everyone that I would see them all later and under the pretext that I had something to do, I went inside. That wasn’t truly a lie because after drinking all the coffee I did need to use the bathroom and at that point any excuse would have done.
I couldn’t get over the look that Edward’s mom had given me. While she was in our room earlier, Esme didn’t seem to be overly concerned with what I had said. In fact, she more-or-less blew it off, only giving me a strange look as she was leaving. It was then that her eyes took in my braided pig-tails along with the girly innocents of my blue nighty. I figured that she was a smart lady and knew exactly what naughty thoughts I was hoping my ensemble would conjure in her son’s mind. That was why I suggested that his mother thought I was a slut. Like I was the lowest form of a vile seductress who used her womanly wiles against innocent baby boys enticing them into all kinds of debauchery.
However, the look of disapproval from Edward’s father, along with his mother’s abhorrent stare left no doubt in my mind what they thought.
Standing in the kitchen I picked up the tray with the dirty plates on it from breakfast trying to imagine how our private moment on the balcony would have appeared to an onlooker. It didn’t seem so bad to me. We were both dressed, in pajamas, but still not uncovered. There was no groping occurring, everyone’s hands were in completely appropriate places, mine at my side and Edward’s…
Opening the door to place the tray out in the hallway I thought about where Edward’s hands were. One was in his lap – I think – and the other was at the back of my neck holding my hair. We were almost at the same eye level looking at each other; he was sitting in the chair while I was kneeling. I suppose that was the problem.
Closing the door to the hallway I tried to put myself in Esme’s place and what implications that scene would have meant to me. I was fully aware of the lifestyle and would have known exactly what was occurring. The same as his parents did.
I suddenly felt very dirty and for some reason Charlie popped into my head as I wondered what he would have said or thought seeing us like that. Would he have understood the dynamics of what was happening? I thought not, and was glad as I usually am that my father lives in a world of ignorance. There was no way he would understand the complexities of our relationship and he certainly would never condone it. I couldn’t even imagine the conversation that would most definitely occur if he found out. And I was absolutely positive I wouldn’t be able to look into my father’s face every day with the knowledge that he knew.
It had not occurred to me earlier that Edward’s parents are very aware of his lifestyle and therefore mine as well. Maybe that’s because unlike my father who would without a doubt be bringing that fact up all the time – because like Leah it would be his way to gain understanding – Esme and Carlisle don’t. They can’t be in denial; it would be an impossibility with practically everyone in their immediately family involved to some degree in Power Exchange. There was no way for them to stick their head in the sand and pretend it’s not happening.
Both of Esme’s bothers own and operate lucrative clubs in two major cities that catered to the S&M community. I have yet to meet Edward’s other Aunt and Uncle but I was sure that they are as openly blatant about their chosen lifestyle as Aro & Jane were.
Their two sons are actively involved, although from what I could tell Emmett and Rose have an on and off relationship. Rose doesn’t wear a collar all the time; it seems more like they engage in D/s play when the mood strikes. Edward on the other hand has adapted it to his way of everyday life. Our playtime is scheduled yet just as what happened earlier on the terrace the persona is always present, and I liked it that way.
Standing back at the sink rinsing out the beer bottles that Edward had left there the night before, the thought occurred to me. Hell, even Alice is involved with the club.
She and Jasper might not participate in activities however I wager to guess that eighty percent of her business comes directly from the patrons of New Moon. As we ate dinner the previous night, Alice went on and on about the garments she had made. Esme sat there with a smile on her face engaging in the discussion as she asked for clarification on some of the designs. There was no scorn or apprehension in the conversation; it was just a fact of their life. With all that going on around them there was no way for Edward’s parents be oblivious, so what was it?
Turning off the sink after wiping down the counter area Edward set the coffee pot and cups down that I had left outside. “Is this everything?”
Edward told me yes as he leaned his back against the counter watching me wash the dishes he had just brought in. He appeared to be relaxed with his arms crossed against his chest but I could tell that he was scrutinizing me. Rinsing the soap off the coffee pot I didn’t wait for it to dry before putting it back on the hot plate and wiped the counter down again.
“Are you done?”
My eyes went to Edward, “Yes, thanks for bringing it all in, I didn’t want to bend over to pick it up,” self-consciously my hands went to the short length of my gown. He gave me a crooked grin and before I could stop myself I blurted out, “I think your mom hates me.”
My words brought out a genuine smile as he spoke, “My parents don’t hate you Bella. In fact they adore you.”
Maybe they used to
“Did you see the look your mom was giving me?” the sadness in my voice couldn’t be contained. I truly liked his parents and didn’t like that they were upset with me or my actions.
Edward’s shoulders seemed to slump down as his hands fell to his side in defeat. “That look wasn’t for you Bella, that solely belonged to me. I broke the cardinal rule of being in public-”
“We weren’t in public.” I cut him off because in my mind we were on our own private terrace, having our own private moment.
“Anytime we are not behind four walls with a closed door, we are in public. That means that we, or rather I, need to always be conscious of other people and their sensitivities.” Edward pursed his lips as if in thought and then continued.
“Do you remember on Mother’s Day we went to my parents?” I nodded at his question. “And before we went I explained to you that my parents are aware of my lifestyle but they don’t want it thrown in their faces?”
I did remember him telling me that which was why we had cut our first weekend short, so nodding he went on, “They don’t approve, especially my mother who holds out hope that somehow this is just a phase and the right woman will come along and I will give up my propensity for kinky sex.”
I guess Esme just figured out I’m not that woman
“However, I’m a grown man who supports himself and is not doing anything illegal or detrimental to society. So I can live my life anyway I choose and there is no shame in that, but out of respect for my parents I don’t let them see that side of me.” He sighed then continued.
“I suppose ignorance is bliss and out of sight out of mind or any other shit that you can think of to describe my parents dismissal of my personal life. What I’m trying to say is that they don’t approve and for the most part they don’t say anything. They keep their opinion to themselves as long they don’t see anything that brings it to their attention. They have never seen me interacting with my submissive, so it is easy for them to believe it doesn’t occur.”
I interrupted him because I had to know, “Is that the reason you never took other women around your family?”
Edward’s eyes grew a little softer. “In part yes, but the main reason was because those women never meant anything special to me. I wasn’t going to go traipsing a bunch of different woman in front of my mother. She already doesn’t approve, she would be even less inclined if she had to see so many…” as he trailed off there was almost a look of remorse in his eyes, “Besides to me taking a woman around my family was significant, it was opening up another part of me that all of them had no right to see. Introducing any of them to my family would have given the wrong impression to both my parents and the women. That wouldn’t have been fair to either of them, I’m ashamed to admit that those women were nothing but play things…”
The last words were spoken in a hushed whisper as if he was embarrassed to admit the truth even to himself. “You shouldn’t feel bad about that Edward. They were grown women who knew what was happening. You never promised them anything and they were with you of their own free will.”
“I know that Bella, yet I still can’t help but to be sorry because the decisions I made before are effecting us now.”
We quietly held each other’s gaze for a long moment, I’m sure Edward was condemning himself for his past and I didn’t know what to say to make it any easier for him. There are times when his past comes up to bite me in the ass. That’s when I need to see the circumstances for what they are and remember that it’s not Edward’s fault. It’s not like he was with those women while we were together, or even while he was trying to pursue me. At least I hoped that was the case, if I was wrong I hoped I never found out about it.
He sighed in resignation, “Yeah, well. There is nothing I can do about that now. But with what happened with my parents, that was my fault too.”
I wanted to argue with him that there were two of us out on the balcony but Edward shouldered all the blame upon himself. “By my not being vigilant and keeping a closer watch on what was going on around us, I’m afraid that I opened up the preverbal can of worms. The reaction from my parents was directed towards me, and I’m sure I will hear about my public display. It makes them uncomfortable, so when they are around it is not something I talk about or even allude to. Not because I’m ashamed, it’s simply out of respect for their wishes.”
The scenario that Edward was explaining reminded me of the government’s position on homosexuals in the military. It was a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ situation. I suppose that when you have a child that engages in something you don’t approve of , that would be a good stance to take and would fall under the umbrella of unconditional love.
“The problem is…” Edward smiled reaching out to take my hand, drawing it to his lips and placing a kiss on the pulse point of my wrist. Tugging my arm he pulled my body so that I was positioned in front of him standing between his opened legs. The heat coming off his body was making my own temperature rise, only I wasn’t sick even though my voice sounded weak as I asked, “the problem is?”
Edward gave me a broad smile rubbing the tip of his nose against mine. “You”
My head moved back to allow me a better view of his face as I questioned in disbelief, “Me?”
“Yes you…I find myself so distracted around you that everything else fades away. You, Ms. Swan, capture and hold all of my attention to the point that I forget about everything else including my responsibilities.”
“I’m sorry.”
At my words Edward’s head tilted backwards as he rolled with laughter. Looking up at him I was taken aback for a moment until I realized the humor of my own statement and giggled along with him.
“Oh Bella,” Edward stated with a chuckle as he tightened his arms around the small of my back, “what am I going to do with you?”
“I could think of a few things,” I said looking at him through my lashes.
Edward took in a deep breath before leaning down to kiss me. Our mouths melted together as my hands held on to his arms. His hands moved down gathering the bottom of my nightie and began to pull it up over my body. Breaking the kiss I took a small step back to look up into his face, as I did he slipped the nightie over my head.
“What are you doing?” I asked with mock suspicion.
“Well…” Edward said taking each of my wrists in his hands and bringing them up to his shoulders, “…if I remember correctly there was a suggestion made to spend the morning naked in bed.”
Nodding my head I admitted, “Yes there was.”
“So I was wondering,” his hands wrapped back around me, “after our brief intermission, if that offer might still be available?”
“Oh…were you now?” my hands tightened around his neck as he started walking me backwards towards the bedroom.
Edward’s head bobbed up and down with a wicked grin, “Yes I was. What do you say?”
As if I could refuse
“I say you have entirely too many clothes on.”
“I can fix that,” and he did.
We spent the next two hours in bed, laughing, talking and making love – twice.
Much like earlier in the morning it took a lot for me to get out of bed. I would have been perfectly happy right where I was. However, the clock kept ticking and I figured that Edward’s parents were already unhappy with our behavior and I didn’t want to add to that. With that thought on both our minds we reluctantly got out of bed and into the shower to remove the smell of sex from our bodies.
Edward was dressed in his board shorts and t-shirt a lot quicker than I was ready for. If we were spending the afternoon on the beach there were things that I had to get together. He followed me around the rooms asking stupid questions like why I needed band-aides on the beach. Then laughed at me when I told him that you never know what’s going to wash up on the shore that you could step on. Believe me I knew, rocks, shells, glass and fishhooks have all at one time or another found their way into my feet. I was taking the band-aides.
After a few times of me explaining my motives I finally sent him down to the car to get the cooler – which I had accidentally left there the day before. That turned out to be the best thing I could have done. It gave him something to do and got him out of my way. I love Edward with all my heart, but his constant questioning of me was getting on my nerves.
By the time he came back up I had everything we needed in the beach bag and all I had to do was put some ice in the cooler so our drinks and lunch would stay cold. Double checking the bag I handed Edward the cooler grabbed our towels and sand mat so we could leave. Stopping by the hotel store we bought fresh deli sandwiches, drinks and a few small bags of snacks before heading out onto the beach area.
It was a beautiful day to spend outside; the sun was warm with a gentle breeze blowing off the ocean. The beach itself was right off the outside deck of the hotel with maybe only fifty feet of sand before the shoreline began. There weren’t a lot of people out yet and since Edward and I were the first from our group to arrive we picked a spot on the sand to set up our area. The hotel had lounge chairs available for their guests to use which Edward gathered together while I set out the sand mat.
Edward sat down on the mat next to me and while I took my sunglasses and visor out of the bag he pulled out the SPF 30 sunblock and took off his shirt. Getting to my knees I knelt behind his back to apply the lotion over his shoulders. Working my hands over the expanse of his back, letting them drop down under the waist band of his shorts to the top of his butt cheeks. “Hey… no sun going to be down there.”
I giggled, “You never know, you could lose your shorts in the waves.”
“Well in that case maybe you better do my front too,” Edward smirked at me as he laid down on his back with head resting on my legs.
“Do your own front,” I laughed handing him the bottle.
Edward’s hands came up tugging on the material of my white terry cloth cover-up, “Are you going to leave this on?”
I nodded looking down into his squinting eyes, “For now.”
At my words he pulled the bottom of my shirt over his head looking up at me through the large opening around my neck making me giggle at his silliness. “What are you doing?”
“I wanted to get a good look at the merchandise. I barely got to see you in the bathing suit before you covered it all up.”
Edward had the most adorable pout on his face and I couldn’t help but taunt him. “We spent practically the whole morning checking each other out. I would think you would be tired of seeing the merchandise.”
“Oh nâhtötse, there aren’t enough minutes in the day for me to grow tired of seeing your body.”
Taking ahold of my shirt I pulled it back over his head and suddenly altered my position to straddle Edward’s waist. I moved so quickly that he made an ‘omph” sound as the back of his head hit the mat.
Looking down into his surprised face I leaned over top of him to block the sun from his eyes. “That’s what you say now; in thirty years when my boobs droop and my hips spread you’ll be singing a different tune.”
Edward looked up at me and for a second all playfulness was gone, “You planning to be with me in thirty years?”
I didn’t know what to say, because we hadn’t really spoken in any depth about a future together. Yet I couldn’t imagine one without him. On the other hand I didn’t want to sound like love sick puppy who was dreaming of a life with someone who didn’t want the same thing. I took the safe route turning it back to him. “I plan to be here as long as you want me.”
Edwards smile practically blinded me, “Well in that case, how far are these boobs going to droop? Am I going to need a pillow to reach them or are they just going to fall in my mouth?”
I laughed at him, “They won’t turn into utters.”
He laughed with me wrapping his arms around me and shifting so I was lying flat on my back. He stuck his head under my shirt, nipping with his teeth at the skin over my ribs making me squirm as he spoke from inside my shirt. “What about when you lay down are your boobs going to be all the way over here?”
Lifting up the top of the shirt I looked down to see what he was doing, laughing as he nipped some more. “Get out of there.”
“What the heck!” Emmett’s loud voice boomed. “Haven’t you two had enough, there’s no nooky on the beach.”
At Emmett’s words Edward stuck his head out of the top of my shirt, stretching the neck opening as he looked at his brother, “Is that posted somewhere?’
His question made me laugh and I think I heard the click of a camera as little Vinny who was perched on Emmett’s shoulder declared, “Yeah…no nook’n on the beach.”
Then his little voice asked, “What’s nook’n?” while I tried to push Edward’s head down as I giggled, “Would you get out of my shirt!”
Rose laughed, “I’ll bet that’s the first time you ever heard that Edward.”
He chuckled giving me a kiss before removing himself while Vinny became more insistent, “What’s nook’n!”
“It’s not nook’n, it’s Nooky,” Emmett told him as Edward took my hand pulling me to my feet. I looked at Emmett wondering why the heck he said the word again and didn’t just attempt to get Vinny’s mind on something else.
“Nooky is what adults call hugging.” Rose and I snickered while Edward stared at his brother blankly and wondered, “What are you going to do when he repeats that?”
“He’s not going to repeat it. Are you my man?” Emmett questioned his five year old nephew as he took him off his shoulder and set his feet on the ground. Vinny shook his head adamantly denying any chance of that happening, “No, I won’t repeat it.”
I smirked knowing damn well that he was like a little parrot that recited everything he heard. Shaking my head I bent over to get a towel, as I laid it out on one of the lounge chairs I laughed along with Rose who guaranteed her husband that he was going to be in big trouble because she was sure that Vinny didn’t even know what repeat meant.
“Well then we just all have to stick together with the story…”
“Oh no…” I said sitting down with my book and putting on my sunglasses, “…I’m a cops kid, and will squeal to save her own butt.”
“Then I’ll just blame it on you,” Rose sat in the chair next to me snickering at what Emmett said while I gasped and Edward chuckled. “That’s the way a family works little Bella, you blame each other and no one really knows who did it. Isn’t that right Edward?”
The traitor stood nodding in agreement, “It’s the ‘I don’t know’ and ‘it wasn’t me’ syndrome that siblings do. See what you missed out on being an only child?”
“That’s ok we’ll make up for it now. All those in favor of blaming Bella raise your hand,” three right hands up in the air simultaneously. Even Vinny who looked around at what they were doing succumbed to Emmett’s suggestion and raised his hand.
“Oh, thanks a lot!”
Edward smirked at me, “Just trying to give you the full experience babe.”
“Full experience at what?” Alice asked as she appeared with Mia perched on her hip and a large beach bag slung over her shoulder. Jasper followed behind her carrying a huge cooler with towels folded on top of it.
“Bella is tattle-teller, we were just explaining that doesn’t go over so well in a big family,” Emmett was already trying to make his case.
“That’s right,” Alice declared setting Mia down in the sand. “She who tattles, takes the blame.”
“Is that how it worked?” I asked Edward who nodded, “exactly how it worked. You learn real quickly to keep your mouth shut. Because mom and dad knew somebody did it, but they couldn’t just point a finger in blame and they couldn’t punish all of us…”
“Oh…mom did one time.” Alice stood up taking sand toys out of her bag, “Remember when someone broke great-grandmother’s lamp. Mom was so mad, she even called up Aro and had Mason grounded.”
“That wasn’t funny, I had to miss a football game because of one of you,” for it not being funny Emmett sure was snickering at the memory. Then he turned to me, “See Bella we hardly got blamed for anything and because there was no one else, you got blamed for everything.”
I shook my head, “No I didn’t. I was good girl and never did anything wrong.”
“Bull,” Edward muttered, “she just jumped of cliffs, got lost in caves and ran around the outside of house naked.”
“That doesn’t count,” I insisted but Edward countered. “Oh excuse me, I think if ten years later Emery still calls you sweet cheeks, it counts.”
I could feel my face heating up – fucking Emery.
“Wait!” Emmett exclaimed, “Emery who?”
“Oh that reminds me,” Edward started.
Emmett stopped Edward before he could finish, “No…No...No…nothing reminds you of anything…until I know Emery who?”
“If you would let me finish…”
Edward was cut off again this time by his parents who said a generic hello from behind our chairs. At the sound of their voices my knees bent as my flat feet rested on the seat of the chair, it was as if my body was trying to brace itself for what was sure to be coming. The feel of Esme’s one arm hug from over the back of my chair slightly stunned me as she made her way around to everyone. I suppose maybe Edward was right and she wasn’t angry at me, or perhaps she was being cordial for the sake of appearances. I felt bad at that thought because I didn’t want to believe that Esme would be insincere. In fact both of Edward’s parents were probably the most genuine people I have ever met.
I opened my book pretending not to notice that Esme picked the chair next to mine. From the corner of my eye I watched as she placed a towel over the plastic before sitting down. I sort of steadied myself waiting for the twenty questions or the innuendos that I was sure would be coming. I could feel the rising anxiety build in me as I listened to Edward explain about needing a partner for golfing. The three men got as excited as a ten year old as he gave the entire where’s, when’s and what for’s. It would have been more comical if I wouldn’t have been so distracted waiting for Esme to say something derogatory to me.
I practically jumped when she reached over to touch my hand, “Did you have a restful morning Bella?”
Taking in a deep breath my head turned in her direction, it took me a second to realize what I was seeing. The laughter burst out of me at the sight of Esme sitting there with two braids in her hair. Leaning my head towards her my laughter turned to tears as I realized that this was her silent acceptance of me. She didn’t think ill of me; I wasn’t a slut who was unworthy to be with her son. And if she cared that I submitted to Edward, she was never going to let me know. Esme wrapped her arm around my shoulder holding me closer as her head leaned in towards mine and she whispered in my ear, “We all like our men to defile us dear.”
I nodded and couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I felt that unconditional love that only comes from a mother. It wasn’t something that I had grown up with; Sue was the closest thing to a mother that I could remember having. She loved me and of that I was certain. But still the daily give and take that occurs between a mother and daughter was never part of my life. And I realized at that moment how much I truly missed growing up. Edward and Emmett were telling me the joys of having siblings when in my mind the greatest joy they could ever know was having a mother who unmistakably loved them and always would.
Wiping the tears from my eyes Esme whispered, “You make my son happy Bella, that’s all I could ever want.”
Nodding against her shoulder I whisper back “thank you” hoping that she would know everything that I meant by those two words. Thank you for making me feel welcomed, thank you for accepting me just as I am, thank you for making me feel cared for and thank you for showing me the love of a mother.
Taking another deep breath I broke away from Esme’s embrace and instantly missed the warmth that just seems to radiate from her.
“How about if you and I go out for lunch one day next week?” the suggestion made me smile. I had been out with Esme before while the four of us went shopping. However if it was just going to be the two of us we could get better acquainted and talk more intimately. I figured if Edward is considering us spending the next thirty years together connecting with his mother would be a good thing to do.
“I’d like that.”
“Good, I’ll call you.” I actually found myself looking forward to that call.
My eyes went back to the men who were all standing in front of us talking boisterously about Emmett being the one who was going to play golf. All of them were loudly voicing their opinion on the matter. Carlisle and Jasper were grumbling like children that they couldn’t go while Emmett gloated over his victory.
They all seemed lost in the discussion except for Edward, who was showing obvious interest in the exchange I had with his mother. I wasn’t sure if he realized that I had been crying real tears or if he thought it was from laughter. The sad smile on his face made me think he knew the truth and I smiled wider to let him know that everything was alright. He tilted his head a little bit taking in my expression then winked before joining back into the conversation.
Opening the book back up I re-read the same page over again laughing at some of the parts I had missed the first time. Edward sat down on the side of my chair facing his mom with a bottle of water. After taking a long drink he offered me the bottle which I gladly took a drink from before putting the cap back on. He leaned on me propping his back against my chest so his head lay in the valley between my breast, and my fingers automatically threaded through his hair.
“Edward is there a reason you didn’t shave today?” Esme inquired while Edward stayed where he was answering with an unconcerned tone, “I’m on vacation.”
His mother sighed, “I certainly hope that you shaved the whole time you were with Bella’s family. I would hate to think what they thought if you went around looking like you had no grooming habits.”
Edward’s head turned in the direction of his mother, “How comes you don’t yell at Emmett, he has facial hair?”
“Your brother keeps it trimmed, you just look all scruffy,” she countered making me giggle.
“Bella likes my scruff,” Edward tilted his head back so that even in the position we were in he could take in my face, “don’t you nâhtötse?”
Nodding in agreement, my nails ran through the prickly hairs on his face and neck. I loved when Edward ran his coarse hair on his face over my skin. The prickly scratching would work me into a frenzy as he teased the flesh on my sensitive areas. Just the thought of it was creating a craving in me. It was like a scratch that needed to be itched and Edward was the post.
He must have noticed some kind of change in my body because he chuckled. “See mom, I told you, she likes it,” Esme sighed deeply shaking her head but glanced at me with a smile, she knew the score.
“You coming?” Edward answered Jaspers question with an absolute yes, standing he kissed my forehead leaning down to whisper in my ear “In front of my mother”
I rolled my eyes feeling my face heat up while Edward chuckled before kissing his mother’s head and going with the men down to the water’s edge. The four of them stood there watching Vinny run into the water just far enough for the waves to reach his calves before he ran back out. I went back to my book glancing up a few minutes later to see them all tossing a football around.
Jane had given the book to Edward for me, placing a note inside telling me it was the perfect read for sitting at the beach. I had to admit it wasn’t a book that would normally attract my attention. Romance novels weren’t my typical choice; however Jane assured me that ‘The Corset Diaries” was not a standard Harlequin Romance. The story didn’t contain a voluptuous blonde damsel in distress who is ravaged by a burly hero with a big dick. In fact the story was just the opposite and it was funny as hell.
Mia took my attention away from starting a new chapter, she was dripping wet and screaming in Jasper’s arms as he carried her to Alice. “What happened?”
“She got wiped out,” he said without any concern. Alice on the other hand went into mommy phase, jumping from her chair to wrap her daughter in a towel and a hug. Once she calmed down I was going to go back to my book, but Rose stopped me with her comment.
“Skanks homing in at three o’clock,” my eyes shifted to the two women in the ugliest bathing suits I had ever seen, slowing down their pace as they approached our men.
“What the heck are they wearing?” Alice asked while she towel dried Mia’s hair.
“Hideous,” Esme murmured.
As I said ugly, they looked like someone took a perfectly good swimming suit and ripped large chunks of material out until the only thing left was a bunch of scraps. My suit on the other hand was cute with a top that was reminiscent of the forties and the bottom cut to resemble boy shorts with ruffles. Realizing that I was still was wearing the cover up I stood to remove it, making my motions as exaggerated as possible. Turning to fix my towel Esme gasped at seeing the tattoo on my back and like everyone else she pulled the edge of my bottoms to see what was hidden.
“When did you get that?”
“A month ago, Alex did it,” I added the last part because I was sure she would know who that was.
“I always thought about getting a tattoo, something small over my hip that only my husband and doctor would ever see,” Esme confessed.
“You should do it,” Esme had a great body and it would look good on her.
“I don’t know, I think my grandmother would roll over in her grave,” Esme answered while I readjusted the bottoms over my hips.
Purposely bending at the waist to give Edward a good shot of my butt, I picked up the sunblock out of my bag. As I was doing my little show I couldn’t be sure if he was watching as I placed one leg on the chair, slowly working the lotion into my skin. The higher my hands went the more sensual the motions became.
Switching to the other leg Rose snickered, “That’s slick chick, you definitely have his attention.”
Good
Sliding one finger under the strap of my top I let it fall over my shoulder to put lotion on as I finished the other side Rose waved me over to her chair, “Come here I’ll do your back.”
Sitting in between her legs I gathered my hair holding it up out of the way. Esme had been watching what was happening with the skanks. “That’s terrible; you girls shouldn’t have to put up with stuff like that.”
“That’s nothing, you should see what I put with,” giving a dismissive wave I thought better of my statement. “No, it’s better if you don’t.”
Rose chuckled rubbing the lotion into the area between my shoulder blades. Being present for the Jessica fiasco she knew exactly what I was talking about. However, her comment caught me off guard, “Not anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I asked turning my body so I could see her.
Rose grinned, “Bella, after what Aro did I don’t think anyone will even look at you funny.”
“What did he do?” Rose narrowed her eyes at me before understanding came to her features.
“Edward didn’t tell you?”
Tell me what?
My head shook and before I could answer she enlightened me. “Aro sent Jess a certified letter, telling her that because she committed an assault on the premises she was permanently banned from the club and that if she even steps foot on the property she would be arrested for trespassing.”
Oh My Fucking God
“When did this happen?” I wanted specifics about Jessica while Esme was more concerned with what Rose meant by an assault. Rose decided to educate Esme first, recounting all that happened that night in the bathroom. I kept my mouth shut while Alice wondered why I hadn’t said something to Jessica right away and Rose dismissed her question saying that there were extenuating circumstances. Alice caught on to her meaning and Esme just eyed me in a way that told me she wanted to know, but didn’t want to at the same time. Much to my happiness it was the latter instinct that won out.
Esme did however want to know something, “And Edward knows this Jess person how?”
Tilting my head I gave her a pointed look over the top of my sunglasses, understanding came to her immediately as she rolled her eyes, “OH.”
With the story out of the way I wanted my question answered, “Rose when did this happen? And does Edward know? because he didn’t say anything about it.”
“We all had dinner…”
“That I wasn’t invited to,” Alice’s disruption irritated me, “I invited you, and you didn’t want to come.”
“Yeah, I was invited as an afterthought,” all I could do was questionably stare at Alice and hope that her feelings weren’t truly hurt.
“Anyway…” Rose interjected, “that was Monday night and I think Aro mailed the letter Tuesday, because she wasn’t there all weekend.”
I rolled my eyes, “Great that means everyone was talking about it and there was even more gossip.”
“Not too much,” Rose shook her head. “Everyone was more interested in why Mike got suspended.”
“What did Mike do?”
“Doesn’t Edward tell you anything?” I was beginning to wonder that myself. Although it was certainly possible that Edward didn’t know anything about this since it occurred while we were away. My blank stare must have been enough of an answer.
“That night that Jess attacked you, Mike had signed her into the club and then erased her name.”
“Why would he do that?” Alice wondered.
“I have no idea,” Rose shrugged. “No one even knew that they were together.”
“Uh,” was the only response I could come up with. Rose twirled her finger in a circle, “Let me finish your back.”
Spinning around I started thinking about all that Rose had said. I certainly wasn’t going to miss seeing Jessica’s smiling face. In fact rather than feeling bad about the situation, I found that I was happy about what Aro did. That was one less of Edward’s bimbos that I would have to deal with. As I thought about it I wondered. “If Jessica has Mike why did she make such a big deal about me being with Edward?”
“Oh please Bella, your comparing bologna to a T-Bone!” I laughed at Rose’s analogy.
Mike was handsome in a boy next door kind of way, where Edward was just…well…Edward. He was perfect in every way. With Rose moving her hands across my back my mind wondered why Mike would have erased Jessica’s name. Was he embarrassed by her or was he trying to hide her presence in his life from someone? If so who?
It hit me like a bolt of lightning, “Rose…” my body sprung upright as I spun around so quickly that I startled her making her splatter lotion all over her chest.
“Jesus Christ Bella!” she yelled wiping the lotion off with the back of her hand.
“Rose!”
“What!”
“Listen, what did Jessica say in the bathroom?”
“I don’t know, by the time I got there she was just about done…”
“No think Rose. She told me that she got her ass chewed out for something that wasn’t her fault and then she was going on about wanting me to disappear and then she said that she used to fuck Edward…”
Esme gasped but I couldn’t pay attention because I needed to know what Rose remembered. I tried to jog her recall, “Then she said something about her having to play…”
“Third fiddle, when she gets invited.” Rose finished my thought in a monotone voice as she remembered what was said. I nodded “Exactly!”
She looked at me like she still had no idea what I was talking about. “Don’t you see? It’s Mike, he has someone else but they sometimes invite Jessica whenever…”
“They want to use her,” I nodded at Rose’s comment while Esme sighed, “Awe… that poor girl.”
Poor girl?…she’s a bitch
Keeping that opinion to myself I ignored Esme’s comment while Alice asked, “I don’t understand what that has to do with Mike being suspended.”
“He erased Jessica’s name because he didn’t want anyone to know that they were together, and he has someone else. Someone a whole lot more important to him and they had Jessica do something that she messed up. So she came into the bathroom all mad because Mike chewed her a new asshole about it and there I was. What did she call me?”
Thinking about the derogatory name Jessica chose to use, “I think it was skank ho.”
Rose looked at me with a huge smile on her face, “I think your right.”
I couldn’t contain myself as Rose broke into a deep laugh. The giggles overtook us until our heads were on each other’s shoulders while we carried on. We must have looked ridiculous sitting there in a fit of giggles.
“What the hell is going on?” Emmett’s loud voice only made us giggle more.
“Bella is a Skank Ho,” Rose said through her laughter as she sat up pointing a finger at me.
With my hands on my knees I leaned back looking up into Emmett’s eyes laughing harder at his perplexed expression making it harder to get the words out. “Can…you…imagine that…me…a skank ho?”

Emmett stared as if we had lost our minds making us come to our senses. In my moment of clarity I realized Edward was still by the water’s edge with the other men and that Esme and Alice had somehow found us funny because they were giggling too.
“That’s it, I don’t want you two sitting together anymore.” Emmett’s finger wiggled back and forth between Rose and me as I turned back to face him.
Esme took ahold of the situation, “Emmett do you want something?”
His eyes narrowed at the two of us while he answered his mother. “They wanted me to ask about lunch.”
“Oh. Whenever you’re ready,” Esme’s sweet voice giving the answer that I was sure Emmett wanted to hear and dismissing her son with a simple statement, “Go tell them.”
He walked back down the beach shaking his head and muttering, “those two are trouble.”
Rose finished with the lotion on my back and I was just standing up when the men rejoined us. Edward eyed me for a second then broke into a big smile; whatever Emmett had told him about our exchange certainly hadn’t upset him. In fact it was just the opposite he seemed rather pleased.
Lunch was very relaxed, Alice had another beach mat that was put next to mine and we all sat there eating and talking. The men were still going on about golfing with Emery. I guess from their standpoint it was something special, to me it was just Emery. The same guy who I grew up with and no matter where his career took him he would always be the boy who lived on the next road and mercilessly teased me.
Throughout lunch it seemed like Jasper was the most upset that he wasn’t the one going on the golf outing. He kept giving Alice puppy dog eyes however; she must have been immune to them because every attempt was promptly ignored. I couldn’t really blame her, golfing was set for Saturday and it just turned out that he and Alice were hosting a swimming party for Vinny’s baseball team.
It didn’t really help that Emmett kept wallowing in his good fortune by saying, “Too bad suckers.”
The last time Jasper looked to his wife, she gave him back an expression clearly stating that if he left her alone with fourteen five year old boys, she was going to kill him.
I couldn’t blame Alice, it sounded like a hell of a lot of work and before I knew what I was saying the words just popped out of my mouth. “Do you want some help?”
“Oh my god Bella, would you really come?” Alice leaned forward looking past everyone else to take in my response. Her voice sounded both shocked and hopeful. Like she couldn’t believe I would even offer.
Since I had already put my foot in my mouth I might as well go all the way. “Sure, Edward’s going to be golfing, and I don’t have anything else to do.”
My mind immediately started to berate myself. It would be on Saturday and my time belonged to Edward. I should have talked with him first because even though he would be gone he might have had something planned for me to do. Looking up into Edward’s face for reassurance I was met with an irritated stare that told me everything I needed to know.
Shit – I fucked up again

Chapter 68

BPOV
My body was so comfortable lying in the large luxurious bed, draped in smooth sheets and thick silky blankets that only one thing could have pulled me from sleep. The feel of soft insistent lips trailing kisses down my neck, warm breath against my skin, hands cupping my breasts while fingers lazily teased my nipples. It wasn’t a thing disrupting my early morning slumber, it was a person.

“Mmm…Edward.”

“Good morning baby,” his words washed over the skin of my bare shoulder as he kissed a new spot.

My eyes were refusing to open even as his hand moved down over my stomach pulling my bottom half impossibly closer to him. The action made me squirm against a very awake Little Eddie.

“Ahh…morning…mmm…what are you doing?” While saying the words my head tilted giving him better access to the spot behind my ear

“I’m keeping a promise,” his hand swept over my hip gripping my thigh to lift my leg as he dipped his hips putting Little Eddie against my happy spot while his nose skimmed along the line of my neck taking in a deep breath. “Mmm…god baby your skin smells amazing.”

The combination of his actions and words made me whimper as my hips moved of their own accord so I could feel more of him while his kisses on my neck continued. The hand on my breast cupped firmer as his fingers rolled and tweaked my nipple, while the other hand floated lightly over my thigh. His touches were so soft; building a fire inside me that was threatening to erupt. My hips moved against him making his dick slide in between my folds letting me feel its heat.

My eyes finally opened as my head turned to face his where he placed a tender kiss on my lips while Little Eddie continued to play slip and slide against my sex. “You are so beautiful.”

I shook my head because he was the beautiful one and I was going to tell him that but Edward stopped the words with another kiss. Pulling back he stared into my eyes nodding his head. “Beautiful, everything about you, your hair, your face, your body, your heart, your very soul, all of you, so absolutely beautiful.”

It always amazed me the way that he saw me, “You have some bias.”
“Maybe…but that’s my right,” with his words his hips dipped once again as his hand wrapped around my thigh lifting it higher and I could feel him at my entrance, slowly sliding inside me as he groaned, “Fuck baby…you feel so good.”

Moaning softly from the feeling of him filling me so gently, “Mmmm…it’s you.”

“It’s us nâhtötse…the two of us…together,” he drew back as slowly as he entered, making me feel every ever-loving inch. Edward kissed me again while his hand on my stomach helped guide his movements inside me. His lips moved under my jaw in little nips tugging on the skin making my breathing embarrassingly harsh as my body craved more of him.

“Please Edward…” my plea fell on deaf ears as the motion of his hips stayed at their slow torturous pace.

“Not yet.…” Edward’s words were labored as if he was in his own agony but that didn’t impede his movement or his words. “…tell me you feel it Bella…the connection…the draw we have …to each other.”

“I feel it.” My admittance was nothing new, nor was it said to get what I wanted even though my hand moved to grip his hip in an attempt to make him move faster, adding another plea,

“Please?”

He was holding himself up on one elbow while his body molded against my back as his face hovered over mine. “Not until you know…not until you believe.”

I wanted to scream ‘I believe’ because at that point I would have said anything to get his hips to move faster, because the slow stroking was driving me crazy, it was distress, he was using persuasion-by-penis and it was working.

“I love everything about you Bella…your intelligence…your sense of humor…your honesty…your humanity and empathy…fuck nâhtötse…I even love your tenacity….and your fucking quirky eating…”

Edward sucked in a breath as if he was trying to calm himself while tears fell down my checks from the words he was saying. “…baby my life is with you…I want to spend…the rest of my life… everyday doing ….nothing but loving you…tell me…tell me you feel it… and you believe.”

“I believe you,” the words came out in a rush.

“Oh…thank Christ!” his own words were said in relief as his hand moved down to lift my thigh again opening me up as he set my foot flat on the bed behind his legs. He kissed me with force and his movements inside me increased. My back arched pushing my hips against his thrusts while his hand held my stomach firmly pulling me against him.

The feel of his quickened pace was more than welcomed as the tension in my body started to build. “Oh…Edward…harder…please…oh please.”

My hand gripped his hip holding onto him firmly while the other held on to his wrist that was still cupping my breast. The pressure was building in my stomach while my breathing was coming out in pants and soft moans.

“Ohhhh…more… god …please more.”

At my words Edward’s hand moved from my stomach and his fingers started rubbing my clit. That was all it took, the warmth of my orgasm sending tingles through me as I cried out in a deep moan. As my body gave way Edward grunted, “Oh…fuck baby…so fucking good.”

His hand that had brought me to release held my hip as he moved forcefully inside me letting me ride out the bliss. He grunted again slamming deep into me with a groan as I felt the warmth of his cum fill me. He moved inside once more letting out a hiss while my muscles squeezed around him.

“Oh Bella…” the gasping words spoken against my ear, “…you have no idea…how good you feel.”

My head turned placing a kiss on his chin talking through my own panting, “I know…how good you feel.”

Edward’s arms squeezed around me while he kissed my temple, “I love you.”

“I love you,” I told him enjoying the quick intake of air he made as I deliberately tightened around him and wondered, “do you feel that?”

It must have been a stupid question because he laughed, “Yesss,” drawing out the word as I did it again.

I suppose it was silly that I didn’t know, considering that even common sense should have told me that he could. The thing was that I had no experience in playing bed-games; the only person besides Edward I was with was James. There were no touchy feely happy explorations that young lovers do. I thought back to the first time that Edward and I were together he said something to me that at the time I didn’t know what he meant, however at that moment it seemed to make sense.

“Edward when you said,” I thought back to that night getting the right phrase, “…‛milk me’…did you mean this?” I tightened again so he knew what I was talking about. “Because I thought milking referred to massaging the prostrate.”

“It’s both,” the grin he must have had was clear in his voice, “basically it refers to draining all the cum out, which is what you keep doing. And since at the time you didn’t have your fingers up my ass…”

My head lifted to give him a devious smile, Edward’s eyes darted to mine, “Don’t even think about it.”

“Come on! Where’s your sense of adventure?” I teased.

“Oh, I got plenty of adventure, however I draw the line there…” I giggled while he mumbled, “I just might have to get you that play partner.”

Play partner?

“I don’t want a play partner,” the thought was creeping me out.

“No?”

Shaking my head at his inquiry Edward moved his body to take ahold of my chin, making him slip from inside me. With his eyes intently looking into mine I was growing uncomfortable. “What about your fantasy from yesterday in the car?”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else. I just want to watch.” The admittance of that desire made me feel depraved as my face heated up making Edward grin.

“You don’t have to be physically involved to control the action,” I understood what he was saying however it still didn’t sound like anything I would be interested in actually participating in.

“No,” my head was shaking in absolute certainty. “I don’t think I would like that.”

Edward’s face softened as he laid down tucking me back into his embrace, “Ok, but you let me know if that ever changes.”

He seemed rather assured about the possibility of that happening; personally, I didn’t see it ever occurring. I truly had very little (if any) desire to be in control, I wasn’t a switch - of that I was sure. My role as being a submissive was something that took me years to come to terms with. Defining the characteristics one by one, seeing how they pertained to me and how those traits had -up to that point- been a factor in the events of my life. That was the first thing I had to accept about myself.

It struck a blow to my female independence, after all, this was the twenty-first century. Women could be anything they wanted, without fear of what society thought, or needing to get permission from the men in their lives. That was one of the major sticking points I fought for in my marriage - aside from staying alive - I wasn’t going to back down from fulfilling my dreams.

The problem was, I was stuck on it being a woman’s role and it was Aro who in one of our very first meetings reminded me that there are lots of submissive males. He also brought up the point that we live in a society that tells women to be whatever they want in order to be fulfilled. So it would stand to reason that if they find true happiness and satisfaction in serving, why should they be looked down upon for that decision? A submissive who wholly embraces her true self has just as much right to do so as a woman who became a brain surgeon. She also deserves to be given the same respect.

The next thing I had to come to understand was that I had more than an appetite for vanilla in me. At first I thought that it was the power of suggestion. As I wrote my dissertation I was submerged into a world of kinky living. While doing research I conjured up more than a few images that wreaked havoc with my libido. The first time I masturbated to the idea of me being on the receiving end of a whip was enough to scare the shit out of me.

However, given time, that all passed away and I found I could embrace those fantasies. Maybe that’s because I thought that’s all they were - fantasies. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I would find the peace in my life that I had been searching for. Especially not on my knees at the feet of someone else, giving him permission to exact his will over my life. Yet there I was doing that very thing, and being happy, content, and fulfilled.

I was so satisfied with the role that hailed me as Edward’s possession that I couldn’t imagine being the one in charge. I wouldn’t know what to do and I certainly didn’t want to be involved in any sex act with someone else. My fantasy had nothing to do with me partaking in the deeds, even when I felt that stir of excitement with Claire it was all about the control I had over her.

Hmmm…Maybe Edward was right

Maybe at some point in the future I would go to him with that particular request. He would see that I was trained enough to take on the role of being The Top. I also knew without a doubt that Edward would be present throughout the whole thing. That last thought worked the most at putting my mind to ease.

I laid there wrapped in Edward’s arms with the sheet haphazardly thrown over us, wondering who he would invite. My mind began to speculate and I found myself thinking how much fun it would be to get Jessica or Tanya into the playroom. Devious ideas of extracting my revenge came into my mind. I would be all sweet and nice until I had them where I wanted them and then they would pay – and pay dearly. Suddenly a childhood poem to my mind.

Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."

Ok…it’s down a winding stair but the outcome would be the same.

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!


I thought about luring them into my parlor with their haughty attitudes and egotistic dispositions. Letting them believe they had the upper hand until - poor foolish thing - my reverie had me in a fit of giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Edward’s question caused my face to heat up. There was no way I was going to tell him what I was thinking.

“Nothing,” I snickered as his arms held me tighter.

“Hmmm…now why don’t I believe you?” At his words he shifted so that I was on my back while Edward hovered over top of me. Meeting his eyes I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.

“Tell me Bella,” he coaxed while I bit my lip shaking my head because it was too embarrassing.

Besides I didn’t want to freely admit my jealousy to myself non-the-less to him. I try hard not to let Edward’s past conquests bother me, yet sometimes, especially when it is thrown in my face I can’t help it. I also couldn’t help the glee that I was feeling at the thought of doing something painfully nasty to the two women who are at the heart of that animosity.

Edward raised one eyebrow in disbelief while he continued to scrutinize my expression. Trying to get my thoughts under control I was struggling to lose the feeling of elation I had in exchange for an air of innocence, and failing miserably.

“Bella? Are you going to force me to pry the information out of you?” I giggled again, more at the seriousness of his tone than anything else. That was until he rose up on his knees and started tickling me.

“Stop!....Edward stop!...” my body was thrashing on the bed while I laughed.

“Tell me Bella,” he insisted while his fingers continued tickling my ribs.

“NO!...Stop!...you’re going to make me pee! Besides, I can have my own thoughts!” the last sentence came out in a rush and to my surprise his fingers stopped while he eyed me once again.

“Your right, you are entitled to your own thoughts. But tell me one thing; do those particular thoughts have anything to do with what we were talking about?”

I debated lying to him for a split second but it wasn’t a habit I wanted to get into, besides trust is of the utmost importance, and I wouldn’t want him to lie to me. With that knowledge I nodded expecting that Edward would continue with his inquest. He surprised me by moving to sit on the edge of the bed making me ask, “Where are you going?”

“I thought you had to pee,” he said glancing over his shoulder at me.

There was a part of me that felt bad wondering if I had hurt his feelings or if he was angry that I wouldn’t share with him what I was thinking. Sitting up with the sheet tucked under my arms I moved to lean against his back. My head rested in the spot between his shoulder blades while my arms wrapped around his waist hugging myself to him.

“Please don’t be upset with me…”

Edward sighed as he maneuvered around in my arms to face me. Cupping my chin his beautiful green eyes gazed into mine. “I’m not upset with you and since your line of thinking had something to do with our conversation I will just have to wait and read about in your journal.”

My journal?

I didn’t think my quick little thought of revenge was journal worthy, it was more for my own enjoyment. Edward however must have completely misunderstood as he went on.

“The thing is that I thought we were past that point. I was under the impression that there was no evasiveness in our discussions.”

Reaching to remove his hand from my chin, I opened his palm tracing the lines, “You have a really long life line.”

“Does that mean I’m going to live long?”

His question was common, however wrong. I shrugged, “It means that you will have an abundant happy life. This is your heart line, head line and your fate,” my finger moved over each area.

“What do they mean?” Edward asked me as I kept looking into his palm tracing the trails as I spoke.

“You have one line that originates in your heart, crosses through your head, and grows deeper in your fate, until this small line comes over from your life to join it. That connection then continues on through your life until it crosses over into the other side.”

My eyes darted to his face meeting his gaze I explained, “That’s your soul mate, the person you spend eternity with.”

He captured my attention with his stare for a long moment until he asked, “What else?”

Taking a deep breath I looked back down at his palm tracing along the fate line that ran through the middle of his hand. “This line right above where your fate and life intersect, branches off into the opposite direction and then perishes. That indicates a part of your life that doesn’t go anywhere. Something that was important to you, changed.”

“Like what?” I shrugged at his question because that was something only he would know but I gave him some ideas.

“It could have been a career change, a variation in your lifestyle or philosophy, or a lost love that fizzled. Whatever it was the line is thick…” my finger traced over the contour I was talking about, “…so that means it was a major part of your life up until that moment.”

Edward was quiet while I explained what all the different twists and turns meant in terms of his personality. How each divot or crevasse in any given area meant something in relationship to his life. When I was done I raised his palm placing a kiss in the center of it before looking back into his eyes.

“I wasn’t being evasive Edward, my mind had drifted to a childhood poem ‘The Spider and the Fly’ and with that I mused how there are some people who have intersected with your life that I would love to get into my web and be rid of them. That’s what I found so funny. I don’t want to withhold anything from you, but at the same time I should be able to have those thoughts knowing that I have the privilege of keeping them to myself.”

It took him a moment before he said anything as his eyes continued to stare into mine and then he smiled sadly. “You’re right, are there lines in there that tell you how many times I’m going to act like a obtrusive ass?”

I smiled using the tip of my nail tracing over imaginary lines, “Well…there are a whole bunch right in here.”

Edward chuckled leaning in to kiss me with enough force that we fell back on the bed making my head land on the soft pillows. He pulled back to look down at me, “I’m sorry nâhtötse. It’s no excuse but I just want to be a part of everything in your life.” He brushed a lock of hair behind my ear before adding, “I’ll try to remember that you need some space too.”

“Not too much space,” I told him tightening my arms around his waist “I like you nice and close…so I can keep my eye on you.”

“I’m not going any place. They couldn’t pry me away from you,” he assured me with a small kiss before pulling the sheet further off my body and laying the side of his head in the area just below my breast. The scruff on his chin felt prickly against the sensitive skin and I could feel his breaths wash over me as I lazily ran my fingers through his soft silky hair.

“Edward do we have to go anywhere this morning?” the movement of his head shaking caused the stubble on his face to tickle my skin as he spoke, “No…do you want to do something?”

“Actually I don’t want to do anything. I thought we could make a pot of coffee, order breakfast, and spend the morning naked in bed.”

Edward raised his head resting his chin on my sternum looking at me with a he twinkle in his eye, “If you insist, and I think the room service guy might enjoy that.”

I giggled, “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Laying his head back down we stayed liked that for a few minutes holding each other and just being together until my stomach made its presence known. The loud rumbling growl made me giggle as Edward laughed, “Jesus baby, it sounds like you have angry bear in there!”

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m hungry,” giggling as it rumbled yet again.

Edward laughed pulling away from my body to lay next me with his upper body raised as he leaned on his elbow, “Damn! I better order you food before you wake up the whole hotel!”

“Shut up!” I laughed swatting at his shoulder. Edward grabbed my hand pulling me towards him while he laid down bringing me on top of him. His hands moved down my sides to rest on my bottom. With my body pressed firmly against his there was something else that made its presence known, my bladder was full and protesting.

“I really do have to pee.”

Edward gave me a devious smile pressing his hands against the small of my back making me groan, “Ohhh…that’s not nice.”

He chuckled giving my bottom a quick swat, “Go.”

As I scurried off the bed towards the bathroom I could hear him moving around but I was too intent on my mission to care what he was doing. I was in such a hurry that I didn’t completely close the bathroom door so when I sat on the commode Edward chuckled at my huge sigh of relief. I could hear him rustling around in the drawers looking for something.

“Thanks for unpacking for me,” he called through the doorway.

“You’re welcome.” We hadn’t time to unpack when we arrived because Edward had other ideas. Not that I was complaining in the least, but I hate living out of suitcases, so while he watched the game with his family, I put everything away. As I stood to wash my hands Edward talked through the crack in the door.

“I’m going to start coffee and order breakfast, anything special you want?”

“Something light, how about a Croissant and fruit?”

“Ummm…” I assumed he was reading the menu, “…they have a melon medley.”

“That’s good,” I said turning off the water.

“What else? You need some protein Bella.”

I was glad the door was still partly closed as I rolled my eyes while drying my hands. I told him to get me a poached egg because the last thing I wanted to do was let my eating habits slip. There was no way I wanted to be punished for that again.

Edward told me to start the shower he would order the food and then join me, making me giggle when he promised to wash all my dirty spots. The large marble open shower truly was heavenly; the waterfall nozzle overhead trickled down while the wall mounts were positioned in such a way that almost every area of my body was being sprayed.

I stood there just enjoying the water for a few minutes waiting for Edward. When he didn’t come back I started my routine, washing my hair and soaping up my body, moving as slowly as possible. Once I was done there was still no Edward and no reason for me to remain so I turned everything off and got out.

Wrapped in a towel I noticed that the bathroom door to the living room was closed, in hind sight that probably should have been a clue. However, I moved into the bedroom not paying any mind to that closed door either. Standing in front of the dresser I towel dried my hair and rather than fully dry it I ran the brush through, putting it in two nice even braided pig-tails. Leaning down to get my blue baby doll nightie from out of the dresser, I drew in a deep breath of the yellow roses Edward had given me. After pulling the nightie over my head I picked up the card to re-read what he written.

The rose speaks of love silently in a language known only to the heart.

Edward was such a romantic

Thinking that the roses needed light to fully open I looked over at the small seating area in front of the window before deciding that I wanted them out in the main room, where I would be able to see them. The bouquet was full making opening the door difficult and I couldn’t help but to bring them closer to my face to enjoy the fragrance as I spoke.

“Edward I had to wash my own dirty spots. But I did put my hair in pig-tails so you could defile me all over again.”

“Those are beautiful roses Bella.”

That was not the voice I was expecting to hear

Moving the roses aside I looked over towards the seating area to see Esme standing there with a smile on her face and Edward behind her silently laughing his ass off. I was sure that my face was bright red and really glad I had chosen a nightie that was on the conservative side.

“Ed…Edward surprised me with them,” I said trying to get the embarrassment from my word vomit under control.

Esme’s smile stayed plastered on her face while she glanced at her son, who was still laughing, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Edward wasn’t answering his phone and I wanted to see if you were going to join us for breakfast.”

“I told mom that we had just ordered room service and would meet them later.” How Edward talked through the large grin on his face was beyond me.

I still hadn’t moved and had to force my feet to propel me towards them. Since Esme wasn’t going to say anything about my naughty comment I decided to act like it never happened. I placed the vase on the coffee table while Esme scolded her son. “You need to leave your phone on so that I can reach you.”

Looking for a way to get back into her good graces I said, “You should have my number Esme, I never turn my phone off.”

Unconsciously I could feel my right foot rubbing against the soft carpet. That also was another lesson I did not ever want to be repeated.

“That might be a good idea,” She answered shifting her gaze from my eyes to the braids on either side of my head. I could feel my face heating up as I tried to smile while she began to move in order to take her leave. She kissed Edward’s cheek and gave me a small hug as she spoke, “Enjoy your breakfast, I’ll see you both later.”

Edward put his hand on the small of my back urging me along as he walked her to the door. Before leaving she told us that lunch was a free for all and the plan for dinner was to order take out to eat on the beach. After saying good-bye again she gave me another strange look that I totally understood and left.

With his mother gone Edward completely lost his composure, breaking out in a fit of laughter while I was mortified. “Oh my god Edward, your mother must think I’m the biggest degenerate slut!”

“No she doesn’t,” he said through his laughter pulling me into a hug while I mumbled against his chest, “I can’t believe she heard me say that…pig tails so you could defile me.” He was laughing so hard my head was bobbing around from the movement of his chest

“It’s not funny!” My protest might have carried more weight if I hadn’t been laughing too.

“Oh, Bella…” he said while chuckling. “I’m going to shower, breakfast should be here soon, so I’m afraid the defiling will have to wait.”

His hands pulled on my two pig-tails making my head tilt backwards so I was looking up into his face. Most of the humor was gone as he stared down at me, “Just so you know, I do like these…very much.”

Holding on to the two braids Edward kissed me. The mixture of his mouth mingling with mine along with the slight pain of my hair being pulled made me moan. Drawing back my eyes opened to see his dark deep-green gaze and when he spoke his voice was intense. “Oh yes nâhtötse, I like them very, very much.”

With a sigh Edward released me and while he walked towards the bedroom I stood there taking my own deep breaths while shaking my head to clear my mind. The aroma of fresh coffee is what led me to the small kitchen area, after getting a cup I took it with me to enjoy on the balcony.

The morning was spectacular. The air was slightly cool but the sun was warm, casting rays of bright yellow and orange against the ocean. I sat in the cushioned patio chair watching the waves roll against the sandy shore. Unlike the beaches in LaPush there were no rocks along the shoreline, just a seemingly endless trail of golden sand. A few seagulls flew overhead and I watched as every now and then one would dive headfirst into the water to catch a fish. It was quiet, calm, and peaceful; it was exactly what I needed.

My first cup of coffee was done and while I went inside for a refill there was a loud knock at the door. Before I could answer it Edward came out of the bedroom dressed in clean pajama pants and a t-shirt, his hair was still damp from the shower. “I got it babe.”

Since he was taking care of the door I poured us both coffee and we decided to take the tray of food out on the balcony to eat. Edward sat the tray down on the table between our chairs and when I placed his coffee on it I seen my journal. The night before I had updated my food intake and written some of my thoughts on the playtime we had, along with starting a new entry.

Edward took his seat while he started pulling the silver lids off of the plates. He had ordered a full breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs and home fries complete with orange juice and toast.

“We didn’t get a chance to have our after session talk last night,” Edward said putting salt on his eggs while I spread jam on the bottom half of my croissant. Placing the poached egg on top of it I wished I had some ketchup and just as the thought entered my mind Edward placed two packets of Heinz on the tray in front of my plate.

I have to admit that the night before when I walked into the bedroom to see the rose’s sitting there I was happy; but seeing those two little packs of ketchup made me ecstatic.

“Did you order those for me?” I thought that it was possible they just came with each tray. Edward looked at me with narrowed eyes, “I wasn’t sure if you put ketchup on poached eggs or not, but I figured if not, you could use the packets later on something else.”

It was silly that I should get so emotional over something as stupid as Edward ordering me ketchup, but I couldn’t help the tears that formed in my eyes. Everyone always laughed at my eating habits and the only other person who always remembered my ketchup fixation was Jake. I sat there looking into Edward’s eyes blinking back the tears watching his expression turning to concern. His hand reached out to stroke my face, “Bella, what’s the matter?”

Smiling I shook my head to ease his worry, “Nothing…I love you.”

What was I supposed to say? You’re looking at a crazy woman who cries over ketchup packets?
Oh, and by the way, she thinks you are the greatest person on the face of the earth. Not because you gave her eighty dollar roses, no - it was the ten cent ketchup packets that earn that title. Edward would have thought I was insane, and maybe I was but at that moment I never felt more loved or accepted.

Edward gave me a goofy grin, almost as if he could read my mind and knew the ridiculousness of my musing. “I love you too nâhtötse.”

And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did.

When he picked up his coffee my attention went back to my food. Opening up one of the packets I squeezed the ketchup on top of the egg before poking the yoke and smearing it all together. Edward watched me with astute fascination as I cut off a piece of food, chewing it while taking a drink of coffee.

“Good?” Edward asked, but with my mouth full all I could do was nod.

“Alright then,” he smiled at me, “about our session. Was there anything you wanted to say about it?” he asked me before putting a bite of egg into his mouth.

I shook my head and I should have known better then to dismiss the question so easily. Edward scrutinized me with narrowed eyes waiting for my correct response. “I liked it.”

He nodded taking another drink while I ate a piece of honeydew melon. When it was clear to me that Edward wasn’t going to ask me anymore questions I took it upon myself to be more forthcoming. “I was excited and glad that we had enough time to play. Which reminds me, do you still have those play lists on your computer?”

“Yes…would you like them?”

Nodding I answered enthusiastically, “Yes! The one in the car was so pretty and the second one, well…”

“What?”

My teeth bit into my bottom lip and even though I let this man tie me up and bring me to orgasm by whipping me with a leather crop I couldn’t keep the blush off my face. “I don’t really remember any of it.”

Edward chuckled, “I guess that means I did a good job at keeping you distracted.”

“I would say you did a very good job.”

“Give me your I-pod and I will download the two lists for you,” he assured me while reaching for my journal. “I’m more interested in this statement.”

Edward opened the pages to the place where he had placed the pen inside the book as a marker. He scanned my writing before reading aloud.

‘It took everything I had to remain in that chair, to not scream out in fear and to
submit to my Master. The anxiety was building so fast that I could feel my heart
beating in my chest as the memories came flooding back to me. No matter how
much I tried to push them away, telling myself that I was safe, my mind brought
everything back in perfect recall. I didn’t want to be afraid but I couldn’t stop it.’

Edward looked at me as if he was gaging my reaction to my own words, and then asked what he wanted to know. “Those feelings of being afraid, were they strictly from the gag?”

I had to think for a minute before I answered. “It was the combination of everything. Being spread open, my hands up, the gag…all those things brought back the memories of …of being…”

No matter how many times I thought about that day and what occurred in my kitchen I could never bring myself to say the word rape. I would call it domestic violence, an assault, or admit to being attacked and traumatized yet what it really was escaped my vocabulary. To me there is a stigma attached to that word, which somehow makes the victim feel even dirtier then she already does. Perhaps that is because it is such a grievous act, the ultimate violation that involves the taking of something so personally intimate.

It is a heinous act of violence that leaves the victim to have to justify her actions to everyone who asks. The police, hospital, family, and friends all want to know in vivid detail what happened. They force the victim to retell the nightmare over and over again, each time reliving every moment as if it was just occurring. Each time she tells her account the victim is placed under the watchful eye of the authorities. All of who seem to be waiting for any small deviation in recollection. Then if there is a catch in her memory the whole ordeal is questioned along with her motives. The victim is then left to her own new sense of reality and safety; she’s abandoned to bear the brunt of the pain, shame, and her own guilt.

It may be a world of denial that I’m living in, and maybe I’m wrong or just too weak to face the reality; but from the time I woke up in the hospital battered, bruised and beaten and no matter what the authorities said happened to me, in an act of self-preservation my mind rejected the term and all the connotation that goes along with it.

This day was no different. Giving pause I chose a different word, “…violated.”

Edward stared at me as if he was reliving what I had told him about that day. I waited for the look of pity to cross his face, it never came. Instead I was greeted with what appeared to be guilt. “I didn’t mean to bring that all back to you. The last thing I want is for you to be afraid. There should never be any fear…”

“That’s not true Edward,” he was waiting for me to elaborate - so I did. “Every time I kneel before you there is a small fear that runs through me. It’s like adrenaline that builds the anticipation, the unknown is a fear.”

“Ok. Then perhaps I should say panic.” I nodded in agreement at his choice of word. “You were on the verge of panic Bella.”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t deny his observation. “I was…but you saw it and brought me back to reality. You talked me through the anxiety until I was able to overcome it.”

“And that was all I needed to do…talk?”

“Yes…your voice soothed the terror, helped me to calm down enough to where I could disassociate what was happening at that moment from my memories. All I needed you to do was talk me through it, remind me that I could breathe and that I was with you, not…” I wasn’t going to say his name but Edward knew who I meant, “…and I knew that I could trust you and I was safe. That small act of reassuring me was what allowed me to fully submit to you.”

Edward swallowed the last bite of his toast and took a drink of juice before he asked, “So once that initial panic was gone, everything else was as…usual?”

I could feel the smile spread across my face, “if you are referring to the slow build of desire that takes over my body until it explodes in a mind numbing orgasm…then yes…it was quit ordinary.”

“Ordinary?” he asked incredulously.

“If you are asking about mechanics, then it was typical. If you are asking about the experience as a whole, then it was extraordinary.” At the use of the word Edward practically beamed.

“So, I take it you like the new toy,” he was stating not asking.

“Oh yes, that was great, but BFF is still my favorite.”

Edward grinned shaking his head at my preference in toys.

“Alright…” he said with a chuckle “…so other than extraordinary, is there anything else you have to say?”

I shook my head while chewing on a piece of melon, swallowing I reminded him “Just don’t forget about the playlist”

“I’ll get them for you”

I thought we were done and started stacking the plates while he read through more of my journal entries. As I stood to take the tray into the room he told me to bring the coffee pot back out with me. That simple request let me know that we had more to talk about.

While I was gathering the coffee my eyes fell on the other unopened packet of ketchup and it might have been sentimental but I quickly picked it up, setting it aside so it wouldn’t get thrown away. There was still half a bowl of mixed melons which I brought back out onto the balcony along with the coffee.

Edward seemed very intent while reading my journal and didn’t even wait for me to sit back down to begin. “I don’t know why anything that you do surprises me, yet it happened again.”

Refilling his cup my eyes darted to his quickly wondering what on earth he was talking about. I didn’t have to spectacle for long as he went on “I wanted to give you a topic to explore. The idea was to give it to last night but with our company there wasn’t any time, which was why I picked up your journal today and was truly amazed by what I read.”

My eyes narrowed in confusion trying to look over Edward’s arm to see what he was referring to. I couldn’t really see so I was glad when he enlightened me. “You went from talking about why you were afraid during our session to asking yourself why you submit”

Oh

Edward picked up his cup holding it in his hand while he continued to silently read or maybe he was re-reading before he spoke “It would have been very easy to simply say ‘I submit to bring pleasure to my Master’ but that isn’t the case.”

“I think I did write that” I said stretching my neck in his direction

“Yes you did however that is not your main reason. You wrote…

Although I know that by my totally submitting to my Master’s will brings
him pleasure that is not the only reason I do it. I can be selfless and give of
myself; however there is no way I could be so gallant as to give everything
he ask of me without getting something other than his happiness in return.

So the question I have to ask myself is; what is it that I get from my
submission? First and foremost would be a deep found joy. There is a part
of me that I have only begun to tap into that gains a deep satisfaction in submitting
to His will. Is that something that I should feel guilty about? I don’t believe it is,
especially if mutual satisfaction is the name of the game. There is also something
deep inside me that is comforted in my submitting. I find security, love
and joy in giving Him control over every part of me. It is the only time that I can
be truly free”

Looking up from my journal Edward eyed me and somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if he didn’t approve of what I said. It wasn’t that I worried about being in trouble because he had told me numerous times that I was free to write whatever I wanted without fear of being punished for it. Still I couldn’t distinguish what he was thinking.

“Did I write something wrong?” I said with a worried voice

Edward narrowed his eyes “No, on the contrary you wrote something very profound that I would venture to say most seasoned submissive wouldn’t have considered. The question I have is why didn’t you finish it?”

“I think I fell asleep” my admittance made Edward grin

“I want you to finish this, exhaust every reason you can think of and I will tell you the higher the number the greater your reward will be. However I will warn you that I expect not only a reason but an example or explanation to go along with it. Just as you have done with the two motives you already stated. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir. When do you want it by?”

“Friday at the dinner table” he said it like I should have already known and I suppose I should have. Edward picked up the pen, turned a few pages in my journal and started writing. “Along with that I am going to give you a task. Which I also want to see on Friday”

I nodded although I was somewhat anxious about getting everything done on time, especially since we were still on vacation. It didn’t take Edward long and when he was done he closed the journal stuck the pen back into its holder and handed it to me.

I sat there staring at the book in my hand like it was a snake about to bite me. I wanted to see what Edward was asking of me yet unsure if I truly wanted to know. He made the decision for me. “Go ahead nâhtötse, take a look”

Why am I so nervous?

It wasn’t the first time I had been given a task and I highly doubted it would be the last. Opening the journal I found the page where Edward had written what I was to do. Reading it I was filled with both relief and apprehension. I felt relief because it wasn’t anything that would require physical capabilities and apprehension because I wasn’t sure exactly how to set out to fulfill his request. Taking a deep breath I re-read the instructions.

‘You are to set three personal goals for yourself that you can accomplish within the next two weeks.’

Yeah…How the hell am I going to do that?