Chapter 9

EPOV

I escorted Bella back to the kitchen to see Garret, he was busy, but he said he could give us a few minutes. I left Bella take over the conversation, and just stood back and watched this amazing woman take command of the situation. Apparently he was in need of a cook, for immediate placement. He couldn’t guarantee that the position would last past the season, but he would be interested in speaking to her further about it. Before we left, she made plans to call him tomorrow when he had more time, and they had privacy.

As we walked back to meet Emmett and Rose, she had a look of satisfaction on her face. “You guys ready to head out? Rose wants to hit a few shops before we get back on the ferry.” Bella and Rose went to use the bathroom, while we paid the bill. When the girls rejoined us I told Emmett we would meet them at the pier.

Once they were gone, I wrapped my arms around Bella’s waist pulling her close to me. She smiled and came willingly placing her palms on my chest, I leaned in and kissed her. Her lips were so soft and moist. Pulling back I left my hand run down over her bottom. “I was just wondering if you have room for some ice cream.”

“Oh... a treat? I must have been a good girl.” she giggled

“I love that sound” I told her as I kissed her again. “Actually, I really want some ice cream, the shop here makes their own. It’s fantastic.”

The sky was ablaze with rays of golden yellow and orange as we leaned against the bike eating ice cream. I watched her mouth, while she ate. The way her tongue peeked out between her lips to catch the residue left from the spoon.

She had a look of contentment on her face she caught me watching her, making the cutest shade of pink wash over her features. Chuckling I leaned over kissing the top of her head “You are so cute when you blush” I whispered by her ear before I stuck my spoon in her bowl, swiping a taste. “Hey! Eat your own ice cream!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the look on her face “I told you, treats are mine to give or take away.” Bella’s eyes scrunched together, as she starting shoving a big spoonful into her mouth. “What are you doing?” Her mouth was full with the frozen treat as she mumbled “Eting ess, so you can’t ake it aay”

Setting my bowl on the seat of the bike, I laughed, putting my hands on her hips to pull her to me. “You’re silly” I said placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’m not going to take your treat. You enjoy it.” I kissed her again. Taking the spoon she brought it up to my lips “I’ll share”

“You have some ice cream, right here.” Bella rose on her toes letting her tongue ran across the middle of my bottom lip. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her, feeling the warmth of her lips and the coolness of her tongue. She moaned wrapping one arm around my neck, pulling me impossibly closer to her. Somewhere in my frenzied state I remembered that we were in a public place. Reluctantly I pulled back from her. The look in her eyes was one of pure lust.

The smug grin on my face made her blush as she diverted her eyes from me. I placed my finger under her chin, her eyes meeting mine once again. “Did you have a nice afternoon?” “

I did” she replied with enthusiasm “thank you for bringing me. I’ve never been to the Island before.”

I was surprised at that, people bring the ferry over just to walk around, but a thought occurred to me “Well then, that makes us uneven, doesn’t it?” A look of confusion washed over her, so I went on to explain. “You have now been where I grew up, but I haven’t been where you grew up.”

“You want to go to Forks?” she asked doubtfully almost with disdain. “Why not, I would love to see your high school, the house where you grew up...the cliff you jumped off of.” She giggled. “That bothers you, doesn’t it?”

I was playing with the end of her pony tail, letting the soft strands run through my fingers. “I just can’t picture you jumping off a sixty foot cliff” Her shoulders shrugged “It’s only sixty feet on the top you know, it gets lesser as you go down “

“Oh great, that makes me feel better.” I kissed her softly as Emmett was pulling next to us.

“You fuckers went and got ice cream didn’t you?”

“You could have come.” I looked at Bella. ‘Too bad we didn’t think to get any for them.” “He’s your brother.” She said with a ring of innocence.

“Come on little Bella, I thought you and me were tight.” he said putting his arm over her shoulder. I reached in the saddle bag, pulling out the cold pack “Here, I got a quart for you. Now get your arm off her.” Taking the container he released Bella “See Rosie, told ya they loved us.”

The air was cooler on the ferry back to Seattle. Bella looked really good in her form fitting leather jacket. We stood near the bikes, keeping to ourselves. Bella leaned into me with her back against my chest. I wasn’t going to complain, my arms fit perfectly around her waist pulling her closer.
I was discussing the upcoming week with Emmett while she and Rose talked. It seemed comfortable and easy.

Bella fit in so naturally with my family, it was almost like she was meant to be with us. Rose can be a hard ass and difficult to get along but Bella wasn’t having any problem with her. When we starting docking the girls hugged, saying something about shopping next week with Alice. I hope Bella knows what she is getting into shopping with my sister. I smiled to myself at the thought. ‘What are you grinning about?” She asked in my ear. “Nothing baby, nothing.” I said kissing her cheek, while she blushed.

I was pulling into the driveway at the back of her house. Her arms came up wrapping around my shoulders, kissing my neck. “Do you want to come in?” I used my hands to release her grip, so I could get up. She sat looking up at me questionably “Ah Bella” my lips meeting hers. ‘Hmmm...I would love to come in, but you have some work to do, and papers to fill out, and sleep to be had. So I don’t think that is a good idea.” Her pout was utterly adorable and it almost weakens my resolve. “Come on” I said taking her hand.

Seth came out of his door, while we were standing on her back porch. He completely ignored us, instead went down into the yard to do his business. “I think he’s mad at me for keeping you out all day.”

“He’ll get happy again, as soon as I feed him.” she said with a backwards glance, before meeting my eyes. “I had a really nice day Edward. Thank you” My hand was against her cheek, my thumb caressing across her lips “The pleasure was mine, Isabella”

A small moan escaped her lips “I love when you call me Isabella, it just does something to me.” My lips were on hers before I could think; it was impulse and pure need. Her mouth opened to allow me entrance, and another moan escaped her, making my dick twitch.

I let out a small sigh, as I pulled away from her. The look in her eyes told me what I already knew. “Bella, I think you better go into the house now, before I change my mind.” She placed her hands on my chest, her finger tips traced lightly over the planes of my abs. My dick was going into spasms against my jeans as I ground my hard on into her with a soft groan.

“Isabella...please, be a good girl and go into the house.” I hissed

I let out a sigh of relief when she opened her door “Good night Edward, thanks again”

“Sleep well Bella, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” My body was in overdrive, I needed to take a few cleansing breaths centering myself before I could get back on my bike. Instead of heading straight home, I decided to take a small detour around the park. I had some finishing touches to do for the finals that would begin on Tuesday, but I was afraid if I went home in this state of mind I would call her. It wouldn’t take very much for her to convince me to come back, because in all honesty that is what I really wanted to do.

Pulling into my driveway, I came to three conclusions. First, I truly enjoyed spending time with her. She is the first woman that I can honestly say holds my attention longer then it takes to do a scene with. I want to do those things with her, but I also want to know everything about her. I cared for the women that I was with, in a superficial way. I didn’t want them to be injured or sick, but I really didn’t want to know them outside the playroom either. It didn’t matter to me what they did in their daily lives. Or what outside circumstances they were dealing with. All that mattered was when they were before me, their focus was on that moment and our mutual pleasure. I never saw them outside of my playroom or the club. Not even Tanya, with whom I was with for close to a year. None of them had ever mattered enough to me. But with Bella, I found myself looking for reasons to be with her.

Second, there is a burning passion that lies somewhere deep inside her. When she lay on that mattress and told me her fantasy, I was truly shocked. Not from her words, but from the feeling that was exuding from her. I could almost taste her arousal in the air, as her body reacted to what her mind was imagining. Then when she opened her eyes to look at me, the ever present mask she wore was gone. She was completely open and uninhibited. Throughout our day, I saw her passion for life, laughter and companionship.When she laughed it was almost infectious, and when she was speaking with Rose about her past, her compassion was undeniably clear. Yes, Isabella is very passionate.

And Third, I am going to need help in her training. I have never started from scratch before, not that it bothers me very much. I won’t have to waste time re-training her in order to rid her of bad habits. The thing that has me concerned is that I have to split myself up to keep things separate. The fact that I want to know and grow with the passionate woman that is Bella, and yet be Isabella’s Dominate at the same time had me worried. I found myself wanting to give into her wishes - that would be fine for Bella. But Isabella was going to need me to be strong and follow through with my responsibilities when it comes to her training. Would I be able to punish her? Or would I find myself with a spoiled bratty submissive who just wants to play? That second scenario wouldn’t do either of us any good.

To be honest with myself, that thought scared the shit out of me. I had to figure out how to keep the two parts of our relationship separate, if that is even a possibility -I didn’t want a 24/7, and I am pretty damn sure Bella didn’t either - which is why I didn’t stay with her tonight, even though I wanted to very badly. My resolve was beginning to waver, and I had to force her to go inside. Yes, I was definitely going to need guidance, because I don’t want to fuck this up.

The question is, who? I feel like I’m in a twelve-step program trying to decide who will be a good sponsor. I laughed out loud at that thought. I could ask Emmett, He and Rosie make it work. Aro, would be a better choice, he seemed to have a connection with Bella. The only thing that I can see as a problem is that he and Jane live 24/7. I know he loves her, very, very much, and yet he still is her Master. Looking at the clock 10:45, I wonder if he is at the club. Picking up my phone, I dial his number, it goes straight to voice mail.

“Aro, this is Edward. I was wondering if you could give me a few minutes of your time to discuss Isabella. I’ll be up until midnight, if you have a chance to call by then. If not, perhaps sometime tomorrow. Thank you.”

The call had just disconnected, when a text message came in. I thought it might be Aro so I was surprised when I saw it was, Bella. Why isn’t she in bed?


Edward, are you still awake? I have a question. - B

I am awake. The question I have is why are you not in bed? - E

I am in bed, I’m reading your papers, I don’t know what something is. You told me to ask you if, I had a question. So I am asking, What is Figging?...Is it sticking leaves all over your body like Adam and Eve? - B

I chuckled as I wrote back.

My dearest silly girl, Figging is the use of Ginger Root. - E

Sir, your girl would like to know what the ginger does and how it is used? - B

Ginger is used to create a warm sensation in/on sensitive areas Its effects are building in intensity, lasting about thirty minutes, does that answer your question? - E

Yes, thank you - B

You’re very welcome. Now, go to sleep Isabella. - E

She didn’t text back that was good. I figured she had to be asleep by 11:00 to get her full eight hours. Once my work was finished, I took a quick shower, while I was drying off, my phone rang. Checking the caller ID, I smile, Aro.

“Good evening Aro, how is your night going?”

“Very well Edward. What can I do for you? You had mentioned Ms Swan in your message, is everything all right with her?” The concern for her was clear in his voice. “Yes she is very well. We spent the day together along with Emmett and Rosalie. I have some concerns that I was hoping you might be able to help me with. I won’t take much of your time, if I could just state my concerns and then you can decide if it is something you would be willing to help me with.”

After clearing his throat, he told me to continue. “I’m taking Isabella as my submissive.” I waited to hear his reaction “go on.”

I sighed “The thing is, I don’t just want her as my submissive, I want to be with her. Go out for dinner, see a movie, have a picnic in the park.”

“That doesn’t sound like a problem Edward that sounds like you are quite enamored with Ms Swan. I don’t blame you, she is a lovely young woman.” I had to agree with him “She is, she is funny, articulate, levelheaded and compassionate. She is unlike any other woman I have ever met.”

He was quiet so I continued “My concern is…is it possible to have two different kinds of relationships with the same woman? I want to do right by her, be the Dominate she needs and desires and yet be the man who shelters and protects her.”

Aro sighed before he spoke “Edward as a Dominate that is your role, to shelter, protect and provide for. That encompasses the whole self, you are not just providing basic necessities, you provide her with what she needs to be complete”

I was beginning to feel juvenile “I know that, and I have that down. But where does the boyfriend end, and the Dom pick up? How do I keep a balance or the right perspective for each role? I want to give her everything, I care for her, how am I ever going to be able to punish her?”

“Edward you are who you are. You can set certain times for play, or you can take it as it comes. You cannot just shut off your dominate side, because it is a Monday morning. She will inevitably be confused as will you. Have your protocol for the playroom, but make her respect you at all times. When it comes to punishment....Well, I will tell you, it is necessary, you know this. Is it difficult? Yes it is. I love your aunt very much. The first time I had to punish her, I cried more than she. When it was done, I was so disgusted with myself that I failed to provide her with the necessary after care and comfort. Because I was more concerned with my own emotions than I was with hers. Fifteen years later, I am still sorry about that. And I still get a little twinge when chastisement is in order. Thankfully, it does not happen often.”

He was quiet as if in thought “But I do what must be done, for both our sakes. She needs me to be what I am, just as I need her to be what she is. It’s a give and take. She is my wife, my friend, my confidant, my voice of reason and my slave. And Edward Ms Swan can be all those things to you, and still show you the respect you need and she desires to give. Do you understand what I am saying?”

“Yes...you are saying that I should allow her to be my friend, lover and submissive at all times, in the playroom and out. So my plan was to use her full name when I meant business and just Bella on a regular basis.”

“That sounds like a plan to me. That way she would know that her actions are going to have consequences. For example, you are having your picnic in the park, and she is acting inappropriate or in a dangerous manor. It would be your responsibility to correct her. How would she know that you were serious?”
He waited for my answer “I say, Isabella”

He laughed “Yes, and she will respond so long as you do not confuse her by saying it when you don’t mean it.”

“That was my original plan, I was just curious to know if it was possible do it that way.” “

I don’t see why it would not, train her to know and trust you. That doesn’t mean that she will not have her own opinion on things. She will, she will tell you what she thinks and she will call you on stuff that she feels you are doing wrong. But make her do it with respect. Take what she says to heart, as you said she is an intelligent woman, and her opinions might just be the right thing to do. There is nothing wrong with that. Give her the credit she deserves and reward her for caring enough about you to speak up. You are the Dominate my boy, but this is her relationship too. If all you want is a playmate, then continue on with the way you have been going. But if you are ready to grow with a woman in a relationship, then I can think of no finer woman for you than Ms Swan.”

“I’m just scared I’m going to fuck it up.” His laughter rang through the phone “You probably will.”

“Thanks, that is just what I wanted to hear.”

“Just take it slow, build upon each lesson, reward and correct as needed. You know all this Edward. ...Listen I know Ms Swan will tell you, if she hasn’t already. She comes from an abusive marriage, a very abusive marriage, one that has left her with a permanent disability.”

“Her neck?” I interjected. “Yes, she told you?”

“Just about the scar, not what happened.”

“Hmm...She will tell you. She also has an extreme fear, of dark enclosed places. Which is why she had extra windows installed in her home.”

That’s why there are so many windows and no curtains or drapes. Women live for drapes. Aro continued “If I were to ever meet that sad excuse for a man, I would string him up by his toes and drain every drop of blood he has...You treat her well Edward, and if you need me, I’m here for you my boy.”

“Thank you, I might take you up on that.”

“That’s fine. I don’t mind. But do me and yourself a favor, and tell Ms Swan that we talked. You want her to be honest with you, then you need to be honest with her. It will build trust. Another thing, you don’t want her to hear it through the grape vine, or find out somewhere down the road. That will just cause problems, believe me, learn from my mistakes. So just tell her and make sure she doesn’t have a problem with it. You don’t have to tell her everything that was said, word for word, just be honest with her.”

“I will and thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.” I could hear the smile in his voice You’re more than welcome my boy, I’m very happy for you, and Ms Swan. She is special, and I believe that you are the perfect match for her. I’m so very glad that you two found each other.
Have a good evening Edward”

“Good night Aro, thanks again.”

After my conversation with Aro, I had a better understanding of what I needed to do. My original plan just needed to be slightly modified. I would have to speak with Bella tomorrow, maybe we could have lunch. I still don’t know her daily schedule. That will have to be the first thing that gets straighten out. Then we need to have a heart to heart about what Aro had mentioned concerning her permanent disability. I haven’t seen anything that would indicate a problem, so I would have to ask her point blank. The fear she has of dark enclosed places would also come up, before we could proceed with any playtime. Which I was hopeful would begin in fullness this Friday.

I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and full of energy. It was only 6:45 I had time for a run, before I had to get ready for work. Without thinking, I went to the running trail in the park, by way of Bella’s street. Her house looked quiet from what I could see, although the windows were uncovered I assumed that meant she was awake.

As I ran I thought more about what Aro said ‘If all you want is a playmate, then continue on with the way you have been going. But if you are ready to grow with a woman in a relationship, then I can think of no finer woman for you than Ms Swan.’

That’s what I wanted, I was sure that is what she was expecting. She hasn’t been with a man -willingly, that thought making me run harder - for fsix years. If she had just wanted to be a plaything or a quick fuck, she could have found that a long time ago. No Aro was correct, she is special, and a fine woman and she trusted me to bring her back to life. I could do it, I would do it.

My run lasted longer than I anticipated causing me to hurry to make it to my first class. Afterwards I had told my students that I would have office hours until noon, then again after lab until three. My day was set, students came in and out dropping off last minute papers or asking question.

It wasn’t until after two that I had a spare moment to call Bella. She picked up on the second ring, sounding like she was in a hurry. She explained that she had to pick someone up and make the 3:10 ferry in order to keep the appointment with Garrett. I didn’t want her to be on the phone while she was driving, so we made arrangements for her to come to my house for dinner around seven. I hung up with a smile, knowing that I would see my girl soon

Deciding on Chicken Cacciatore, with wild rice and broccoli, it was simple and safe. I was just steaming the vegetable when the front door bell rang. She stood on my porch with a contagious smile on her face. She was still wearing her work clothes. A gray pencil skirt, with a soft pink shirt, medium heels that looked more comfortable then they probably were. Her hair was loose, hanging softly over her shoulders. Even with the smile on her face, she looked worn.

“Hey Babe, tough day?” She stepped through the door with a heavy sigh “Just long, I feel like I ran a marathon” my hands were on her face, I kissed her quickly “Are you hungry? Dinner is almost ready.” She followed me into the kitchen. “It smells great, and yes I’m starving, I didn’t really have time for lunch, so I ate half my sandwich on the ferry.” I wasn’t very happy about that, she needed more nutrition than a half of sandwich. “You only had half a sandwich all day?” the annoyance in my voice being very clear.

“Are you going to yell at me?” her voice was quiet, almost childlike and timid. Gathering my composure and resolve I told her “No, but I am going to remind you to take better care of yourself.”

“I know it was an unusual day” I pursed my lips “Bring the wine, this is ready.” After sitting we talked about our day. She had been busy, and the appointment she had with Garret seemed to please her. “Edward, is he a good man?” I looked at her wondering why she was asking “Garret? Yes, he is fair and honest. Why do you ask?”

“Usually, I would do a full back ground check, speak to employees, present and previous,” She left out a worried sigh “I just don’t have that much time. She needs to begin working. I hate cutting corners, especially with someones future.”

“Like I said I know Garret six years, he is fair, keeps a level head, and seems to care about his employees”

“He said he would make sure that she got to the ferry safely. I was glad for that. Well, I guess we will just have to see how it works out.” She still had a worried look on her face, but her resolve was set.

She was helping with the dishes “Thank you for dinner Edward, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I figured I would just go home and eat the other half of my sandwich.”

I shot her an angry glare, she giggled. When the kitchen was done, she picked out a movie, and we sat on the couch together. While it was loading and the going through all the previews, I figured it was a good time to bring up my conversation with Aro.

“I want to talk to you about something.”

“What is something wrong?”

“No” I said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Nothing is wrong. I just want to be honest with you, and I want you to know that I spoke with Aro last night.” She tilted her head to the side “About what?”

“About us, I told him that I had taken you as my submissive.”

“And, what did he say?” The words were common enough, but there was venom in her voice, like she was appalled. What did she think he would say? I was confused “That he was glad.”

Her body stiffened as she pulled back from me “Are you going to tell him, what we do?” Her eyes looked past me. “Not that there is much to tell.” She mumbled quietly. “

What does that mean?”

“Nothing” she spat out, standing up. “I need to use your bathroom.”

I watched her in disbelief. Did she think I would speak of our time together with someone else? Like a high school boy in the locker room, and what the fuck does she mean by, ‘there’s not much to tell?’

“Bel” I started to speak, I wanted her to clarify for me, but she cut me off. “Edward, thanks for dinner, I’m really tired. I’m going to go. I will drop off those papers for you tomorrow, so you’ll know how you can use me on Wednesday.”

Picking up her purse she headed for the door. “Bella! What do you mean use you? I don’t want to use you.”

Coming up behind her, she stopped abruptly keeping a trembling hand on the door knob. Her breath was ragged “You don’t want me Wednesday either?”

I could hear the tears in her voice. “I thought...never mind. Let me know when you want me.”

Her whole body was shaking as she tried to open the door I was blocking with my hand. “Edward please...just let me leave with some dignity.”

I watched her from my porch, as she drove away. What the fuck just happened? She looked tired when she got here, but she seemed happy almost excited. What the hell did she think I would talk to Aro about? She didn’t even let me explain. Besides we haven’t had sex yet, just that one orgasm...oh, shit - ‘not much to tell’ - she was saying that we didn’t have a sex life. ‘Use her on Wednesday’ - “Fuck!”

Could she think I don’t want her outside of the playroom? Why would she think that? I spent the whole weekend with her, what the fuck is she thinking? ‘Let me know when you want me’ - God Damn It! She thinks I don’t want her.

“Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!”

It took me about a minute of standing there playing back her words to try and decipher the hidden meaning behind her terminology. If that is even what she meant, I couldn’t be sure, but I had to find out.

I was in my car and heading over to her house without a moment’s hesitation. Her car sat in the open garage, I pulled into the driveway directly behind her, and I could see Bella was still inside. She didn’t hear me as I approached her, or if she did made no acknowledgment of my presence. Both her hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles where turning white. Her body was slumped forward, with her head resting on the back of her wrist. She was visibly shaking with tears, and my heart broke to see her so distraught.

Opening her door, I squatted down next to her. “Bella” she didn’t answer. My hand slide down the length of her hair “Baby, please look at me”

Her head moved so her cheek now rested on her wrist, she looked at me with red, puffy eyes. Her face was flushed with streaks of black running down her cheeks. She looked so pitiful as she sniffled

“Baby, tell me what happened. There has to be something else, besides our... misunderstanding. That’s what we just had back there, I didn’t make myself clear, and I think you jumped to conclusions.”

Bella sucked in a shuddering breath, “I...I...I, really… try...”

She wasn’t making any sense, and I wanted to get her out of the car, and into the house. So she could calm down and we could talk.

“Come here” After prying her hands off the steering wheel, I pulled her out of the car, cradling her in my arms bridal style. She seemed so defeated and anguished, her head laid against my shoulder, her body still shaking as she tried to get her breathing under control.

“Baby, what’s the code to open your door?”

“7...2..3..8..9" she said through shaky breaths as I held her tightly.

“Do I need to do anything to the security system?” she didn’t answer, just shook her head.

The house was quiet, the only light coming from above the stove, and a table lamp in the living room. I was going to put her down on the couch, but decided that she would be more comfortable in her bed. As I laid her down, she held onto my shirt with both fists, new tears were running down her face

“Baby, I’ll be right back”

I forced her hands off my shirt, kissing her forehead before walking into the kitchen to get her a drink. Seth was sitting by the cabinet under the sink where his food was kept. I figured he was hungry. After feeding him, I took a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, and then headed into the bathroom for some pain relievers and a cold wash cloth.

Bella was where I left her, one arm at her side, the other laying across her face, covering her eyes. The room was dark, except for the light coming through the door to the bathroom. When I sat on the bed, her arm lifted and I could see the apprehension in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Edward” a single tear escaping her eye.

“Here, sit up, I brought you some Tylenol” After taking a drink, I used the washcloth to wipe her face. She sighed and smiled sadly, before lying back on the pillow. Reaching down I took her shoes off, kicking mine to the floor before lying down next to her, and drawing her into my arms. Her body was laying aside of mine, her head on my shoulder, while I rubbed small circles along her arm, kissing the top of her head.

“You feeling better?” her body stiffened at my question as she took a deep cleansing breath.

“Yes, a little bit.” lifting her chin with my hand, I could see the tears threatening to spill again. The pad of my thumb capturing it, she sniffled.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her eyes narrowed, “I’m just sorry.”

My arms held her secure, I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere, but I needed her to tell me what had upset her so much. It had to be more than our misunderstanding. “What exactly, are you sorry for?”

Her body wiggled in closer to me, so her head was higher on my shoulder. I could feel her breath on my neck as she spoke. “For freaking out back there, I should have let you explain.”

I thought about that for a minute, taking her hand, kissing the back of it. “Yes, you should have. That would have elevated some of the problem, but not all of it.”

She was quiet as I continued. “Let’s start this all over shall we? How was your day?”

She sighed “It was good, I guess.”

“You guess?”

Her shoulders lifted in a shrug “I was busy. I got a lot done. Looks like Peggy is going to have a job. But.” her voice trailed off.

“But?” I could hear her breathing become labored; she was fighting off tears again. Pulling back, I tried to get her to look at me, but her head was buried in the crease of my neck.

“Baby what happened?”

All kinds of scenarios went through my head. She didn’t seem injured, so I didn’t think she was attacked. She wouldn’t tell me and the longer I waited the more worried I got, finally I demanded. “Isabella, tell me what happened.”

“It’s stupid, I shouldn’t even be upset. I should expect it by now.”

Piecing together her words, all I could think was it had something to do with the center. “Something happened at the center?”

“She left. She went back to her husband. This is the third time she came for help and she went back again. I just feel like I failed her.” Bella sniffled in my shirt; I reached over to the night stand for a tissue. “Thank you”

I kissed the top of her head, lightly rubbing my hand down the length of her arm. “You’re welcome. Now tell me what could you have done differently? If you have sat by her side twenty-four hours a day, do you think the outcome would be different? Or would she have chosen to go anyway?”

“She would have left anyways, its part of the cycle. I don’t know why I even try. I give so much time, energy and money, why do I even bother? It doesn’t make a bit of difference.”

Taking her face in my hands, I forced her to look at me. “Yeah, your right...you didn’t make a bit of difference in Peggy’s life did you? You can’t save the world Isabella. If five hundred women come through that center and only one gets a better life, is it worth it? Or do you turn down that person, because the other four hundred and ninety-nine, choose to ignore the opportunity.”

She was quiet “What I’m asking, is saving one Peggy worth all your time, effort and money, or is she just not worth it?”

“Of course she’s worth it.” I looked at her waiting for her to see the absurdity of the previous statement.

“You know Bella, I admire you. You see an injustice and you at least attempt to help make a difference. Most people don’t have the courage to get involved.” My arms wrapped around her waist, turning so her back was on the bed, and was looking down at her. I ran my hand through her hair. “But not my brave Bella.”

“I’m not brave.” she said turning her face away from me. I guided it back with my hand.

“You are brave, braver then me.” She shook her head “You are, do you know why I didn’t go into pediatrics?”

‘You said you didn’t get the residency?” Her response sounded like a question.

“There are a lot of residency programs Bella. The real reason, I took a different route was because; I don’t have the guts that it takes to deal with sick children. I could do well visits, flu’s and chicken pox. But when it comes to really sick children, I wouldn’t be brave enough to help them. Even though eighty percent might live, the other twenty percent scare me so much, that I couldn’t help any of them. So I chickened out.”

I kissed her lips tenderly “But you baby, how many woman leave and get a better life, for themselves and their children?”

“I don’t know, more go back, at least once.”

“And yet you’re still there cheering on the underdogs. Courage baby...real courage...I know it must get frustrating at times, but it must be rewarding when you make a difference in some one’s life. I’m proud of you. I think you are an exceptional woman.” “

You do?” She was almost uncertain.

“Yes, I do.”

I kissed her again, this time with more energy. Her hands found purchase on my arms, pulling me closer to her. Her lips opened, biting my bottom lip softly, causing me to groan. My hands moved down along her ribs and under her back, turning her so she was once again lying on my chest. She pulled back from me, and smiled. I stoked her cheek with the back of my hand.

“Do you want to talk about the rest of what happened tonight? I know you were stressed, but we can’t let misunderstandings get in the way.”

She sat upright, with her legs out straight. “I don’t know what happened. It’s just that…” she stopped talking “What?”

“I really don’t know.” leading back against the headboard, my hands folded behind my head, I left out a long breath “Ok, let’s start again. I spoke with Aro last night.”

She pursued her lips but wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Why does that upset you?”

Bella was quiet, playing with an imaginary tread on the comforter. “I don’t want you talking about me.”

“Would it make you feel better to know, as a subject you only came up, when he told me to be good to you?”

That seemed to have gotten her attention because she looked up at me. “Isabella I wouldn’t tell people what goes on behind closed doors. Our time together is just that, our time. No one else’s. Yes eventually, we will join others, or they will join us. But that is still our time, and whatever happens is kept among those who are there. It’s not announced in a monthly newsletter.”

Her eyes lowered “There is not much to tell. It’s not Wednesday yet.” her voice was so quiet, I had to struggle to hear it.

“Are you under the delusion that I don’t desire you?” Her silence was enough of an answer. I laughed

“It’s not funny!” Her anger made me laugh harder

“Oh, but it is.” She bolted up from the bed, left the room before I could stop her. I was going to follow her, when she came back in holding some folded papers.

“Here, Look! I don’t blame you for not wanting me; I am a complete failure when it comes to sex. I hated sex with James, it made me sick to have him on top of me. I thought maybe it was just him, that with some...with you... and I found myself wanting to be with you. When you took me into the playroom, God, all I could think about was what I wanted you to do to me. So I thought that it was him, not me. But every time...”

“Every time what?”

She sat on the edge of the bed tears forming in her eyes “You keep ...it’s so easy for you to walk away from me, so ...I guess it’s just me after all.”

It took a second for her words to register. She had no idea how desirable she is. I stood up in front of her, taking her hand and placing it on my very hard cock. “Does that feel like I don’t desire you?”

Her hand squeezed around me, eliciting a groan. Her breathing picked up as her face turned a shade of pink, but she didn’t remove her hand. “Isabella, look at me” her chin came up, her eyes were a mixture of tears and of arousal.

My lips met hers, as my weight pushed her back on the bed. Her hands came up to my hair, pulling lightly, making my dick grind into her stomach. She opened her mouth for me, sucking my tongue into her mouth, I groaned at the feeling.

My hands were running up her stomach over the flesh of her breast. Her back arched and she moaned as I rubbed across her nipple. My mouth left hers, tracing the contours of her neck with wet kisses. She tried to scoot up the bed, but I held her hips in place. My lips moved to her ears “Oh, no you don’t. I waited long enough Isabella.”