Chapter 72

EPOV


“Rose peed in her pants?”

“She sure did, and it was all Emmett's fault”

How the hell was it Emmett's fault?

He had been golfing with us all day, what Bella was suggesting just didn't make any sense, however she wasn't saying anything more as we rode down the elevator to meet with everyone at the pool. Stepping out into the lobby I had to ask “What did Emmett do?”

“I told you, Vinny informed the guy he had ball sacs and I’m pretty damn sure we all know where he heard that expression. I highly doubt that term gets thrown around the playground at Saint Margret’s Pre-School”

That was agreeable but she lost me somewhere between ball sacs and peeing “Can you start at the beginning?”

The irritating sigh made its appearance and even though we had reached the entrance for the pool, Bella looked longingly through the glass door, took my hand and led me across the walkway to the patio. Once we were outside she removed the bag from her shoulder, placed it on the table and started to rub the back of her neck. She had so much shit in that bag the heaviness was causing her discomfort. I didn’t think it was over her weight limit, yet I was very tempted to pick it up and see just how heavy it was. My attention left the overstuffed bag to listen to what she was saying.

“We had a great morning, we ate breakfast down here in the hotel - the eggs benedict were fantastic.”

It was my own fault I told her to start at the beginning.

“So we got to the outlet mall and we’re making our way around in the baby stores and going into a few specialty shops. Alice wanted to get the kids shoes and your mom likes the gourmet kitchen store.” Bella paused giving me a rueful look “Which by the way, I bought us a new coffee maker.” Before I could comment she went on to explain “The one at the house is fine but we need one with an automatic timer and the one I bought has individual clock settings so that it can be programmed to start at a different time on different days”

She didn’t need to clarify; I didn’t care what she bought for our house especially if it was useful or made her happy. Besides I was still waiting for her to get to the point. “I’m sure the coffee maker will be great, now about Rose?”

“Oh yeah…well like I said we spent the morning shopping and the kids were little troopers while we tried things on and went from store to store. So we go to the food court for lunch and while we’re eating Alice says that she needs to go to the men’s store to get Jasper more microfiber underwear, because they really helped him.”

“Helped him how?” It was beyond me how underwear could be of any service except what they were made for.

Bella pursed her lips in contemplation before telling me something I really didn’t want to know “Well it seems Jasper had this… habit of constantly bending his knees and squirming around” the demonstration was enough to tell me what she talking about, however Bella elaborated. Leaning her head closer to me she spoke in a hushed tone “Alice said that his balls would hang down and stick to him, so he would shuffle around to dislodge them”

Is that a normal lunch conversation? And why the fuck is Alice telling Bella about Jasper’s balls?

I wasn’t so sure I wanted my girl having any intimate knowledge of how low Jasper’s sack hung down.

She either did not notice my reaction or thought it was due to something else, because she straightened up and went on with her conjecture “I suppose in the scheme of things its better than the alternative”

“Alternative?”

What did she mean? The only other choice was to walk around with your balls clinging to your ass and who the hell wanted to do that? Bella however had another thought in her mind “Yeah you know, when men stick their hand down there and adjust themselves.” Again I was privileged with an unneeded demonstration before her nose wrinkled in distaste. “Baseball players do it all the time and it’s disgusting.”

Grinning at her I wanted to clarify that they were not adjusting their balls but the cup inside the jock, it has a tendency to shift around getting rather uncomfortable. Bella didn’t give me any time before she continued. “Anyway Alice was explaining the merits of the microfiber and she said that it held him up so that he stopped doing that nasty thing all the time. She knew all about the material and yet she still quizzed the guy on the advantages of it over the cotton.”

Bella stopped talking to give me a questioning look “I think she just wanted to test his knowledge or maybe it was to embarrass him, because he was young. Either way it doesn’t matter because the poor guy was standing there with four women and two children trying to tell us the benefits of one over the other. You could tell he was uncomfortable and he never actually said the word balls or package he would just use his hands.”

She cupped her hands together giving them a small lift in the air while her voice changed to imitate the store clerk. “The microfiber holds everything up away from the skin, keeps it tight without adding extra heat or moisture.” Bella smirked “We all knew what he meant but Vinny was holding your mom’s hand and he looks up at her and says ‘Grandma does he mean the Family Jewels?’”

My face must have registered my shock before I chuckled because Bella pointed at me “Yeah, that’s the same look your mom had, except she didn’t laugh. But Rose and I were giggling under our breath while Esme told him that he shouldn’t say that. Vinny” Bella paused as she started laughing “looks back up at your mom and says ‘should I say ball sacs?”

Bella burst out laughing making me laugh with her “Your poor mom…she didn’t know what to say. Alice was humiliated and…and the guy was trying to stay professional but he started snickering. Rose and I were laughing so hard…we had to…walk away…and that’s when she peed”

The hysterically laughing continued as she wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand “Oh my god Edward it was so funny. Vinny was so innocent he didn’t know…and poor Rose had to run to the bathroom leaving me there…” Bella’s laughter was dying down “…I guess the baby pushes on her bladder and it must of happened before because she carries pads with her. Pregnancy causes a lot of gross things to happen, sticky yellow stuff leaks from your boobs, your vag turns purple and you become incontinent”

“Your vag turns purple?” I asked with a chuckle while she got a guilty look on her face waving her hand at me in a dismissive manner “Don’t ask”

Bella chuckled once more leaving out a sigh “I guess it was meant to be because while I was alone in that part of the store I found your shirts then went back to where your mom and sister were to get the underwear. I had to buy some, I mean besides them being better for you and little eddie, I really felt bad for the store clerk.”

Ohhhh…that’s why I got new underwear, she not trying to be my grandmother.

Thank God for that

While I had a mental sigh of relief, Bella finished the story “By the time we were done in the store, Rose had returned all fresh, dry and perturbed. So once Alice had the kids in their car seats we stood outside and they all came up with a plan to extract their revenge on Emmett.”

I chuckled once more wondering “And what’s your part in the plot?”

“Not much…” she assured me “…all I have to do is take the kids away before they really lay into him”

That’s it?

If that was all she had to do I wondered “What did my mom tell you to bring down when she called?”

“Oh” Bella went to pick the tote bag up but I took it from her, it wasn’t as heavy as I thought but it still had some weight to it. As we walked back inside Bella explained that mom wanted her to know that the hotel pool only provided small towels and that we should bring down our beach towels.

Everyone was already there waiting for us and saying hello as we entered. I found it strange that the women had formed their sitting circle by the deep end of the pool; usually they stayed down by the shallow end so the kids could have better access. Vinny was already swimming around while Mia was playing with crayons on the floor by her mother.

“It’s about time you two get here; really can’t you give the poor girl some rest?” Emmett made his comment with wagging eyes

The implication of what took us so long was plain yet we ignored him. Placing the bag down along side of the empty lounge chair I assumed was for Bella, I leaned over to kiss my mother’s cheek.

“Hello dear, did you have a good time golfing?” mom asked while patting my stubble free face with a smile. As I told her yes, Rose spoke up to Bella “Come on girl let’s see it”

Unsure what she was talking about I watched as Bella removed the white cover-up she had on, as she gave a little turn Rose let out a cat call whistle and I had to concur that swimming suit was spectacular. Rose however voiced her opinion before I could say anything “I told you that would look amazing on you”

Alice wrinkled her nose “It makes your butt look big”

Bella gasped while Rose giggled as she slapped Alice with the magazine she was reading “It does not!”

“Alice!” mom admonished my sister while Bella laid the beach towel over the lounge chair. I had no idea what that was all about, I did know that Bella’s butt looked fantastic and I wanted her to know that. Stepping behind her I wrapped my arms around her waist resting my chin on her shoulder as I looked at my sister “Alice doesn’t know what she’s talking about…”

“Oh yes I do!” Rose snickered at my sister’s outburst adding “I was on your side but now you’re just being vindictive”

“I don’t care, I’m still mad at her” Alice spoke with indifference as she kept her eyes on the book she was reading.

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what Bella would have done to earn my sister’s wrath. Besides if there would have been some kind of confrontation Bella would have told me about it, wouldn’t she? Since I wasn’t getting any answers from the girl in my arms I decided to go right to the source. Standing up straight I narrowed my eyes at my sister “Why are you mad at Bella?”

Alice looked up from her book glaring at me “She knows why”

Rose snickered and mom tsked giving an eye roll while Bella took a step away from me groaning in irritation as she sat down “Your sister seems to have an aversion to my shopping practices”

“It was Gucci Bella!” Alice demanded, making me jump as she slammed the book she was reading down on her lap.

Bella leaned back against the lounge chair taking her own book out of the tote bag acting as if she wasn’t paying any attention until she defended herself “If you would have told what it cost, I never would have tried it on. Eight hundred dollars is a ridiculous price.”

By now the other men had joined us along with the attention of a few other people in the pool area, all wondering what the heck had Alice all excited. Vinny said hello to me as my sister sat up spinning to sit on the edge of the chair, just as I high fived my nephew Alice started ranting.

“Bella you don’t understand, tiny little…” Alice held her finger and thumb a half inch apart as she scrunched up her face while pleading her case “…Mulberry worms, with G’s branded on their heads…” her fist came up to her forehead “…toiled for months just to make that silk.”

“Do they actually brand their little heads?” Bella asked in amusement then added with a smirk. “That sounds like cruel and unusual punishment”

My sister didn’t share Bella’s amusement as she became very serious. “Isabella Swan you are either an enigma or you should be placed in a strait jacket because who in their right mind could turn down sixty percent off Gucci?”

Jasper chuckled “Apparently Bella can”

My girl remained quiet while I was doing the math in my head. Sixty percent off of eight hundred would have put the cost of the dress at around three hundred and twenty dollars. It seemed like a lot but not that outrageous, it made me wonder “Was it a nice dress?”

“It was beautiful” Alice said dreamily “A-line, ivory silk that was perfection on Bella”

Glancing back at Bella I wondered if perhaps the problem was that she just didn’t like the garment but was intimidated by Alice’s enthusiasm “You didn’t like the dress?”

“No it was nice…”

“Nice?” Alice interrupted while mom added her thoughts “It was a simple summer silk dress that was very practical and in my opinion timeless in style.”

“It was better than nice” Rose added nodding her head while Bella remained impassive.

I truly didn’t understand what the problem was and albeit my knowledge of women’s shopping habits was next to nothing. I knew that they preferred to hunt in groups, prowling around looking for the perfect object to pounce on. They also seemed to desire the opinion of each other, relying on the other person’s instincts as to whether it was a good purchase to make. If all three women agreed that the dress was something Bella should have bought, even at the slightly higher cost, I couldn’t comprehend why she didn’t. Sitting down on the side of Bella’s chair I placed my hand on her thigh, asking the obvious question “If you liked it and everyone agreed, why not get it?”

Bella’s head tilted ever so slightly as she looked at me in utter disbelief “Because I prefer not to spend almost a whole week’s salary on one signal dress”

“Yeah but with the discount it would have been…”

“Edward…eight hundred dollars was the discounted price”

I was glad that I had sat down because the shock of what Bella had just said would have knocked me over. I was so stunned my math skills had vanished “H…How much was it regular?”

“Two Thousand dollars” my eyes blinked several times as I stared at Bella wondering if I heard her correctly. When I was sure that I had there was something else I wondered.

Silk, ivory, two thousand dollars

“Was it a wedding dress?”

I could hear the others amusement at my obvious ignorance with women’s designer clothing, but all I could focus on was Bella. Was she looking at wedding dresses? Was she thinking about marriage the same as I was?

She however smiled at me shaking her head “No it was just a simple, sleeveless, summer dress”

“Two thousand dollars and it didn’t even have sleeves?”

What the fuck is up with that?

Bella leaned forward to rest her head against my shoulder giggling as she gave into the humor she found at my ignorance. Letting her laugh I was still stunned as I looked around at the faces of my family – who found me just as funny - my eyes fell on Alice “Is that a normal price?”

“For designer? Yes” my sister seemed flabbergasted by my naivety.

Holy shit

“That’s why names don’t mean anything to me” Bella added looking at me in a reassuring manner.

Alice however seemed to take the response personally “I can’t help it, my daddy kept me dressed in designer labels”

“And my daddy kept me dressed in Walmart, thrift stores and garage sales” the humor could still be heard in Bella’s voice. She came from a simple upbringing where she was provided for but not overindulged and she was proud of that.

Alice however looked like she had been slapped “Garage sales? There is no way you are putting clothes you got off someone’s front yard on my niece”

“Would you stop saying that!” All joking was gone as Bella yelled at her, bewildering me yet again as to what was happening.

Alice shrugged it off “I call them as I see them”

“Well see something else!” Bella was up and out of her chair before I could say anything. Mom however must have been privy to what was occurring as she spoke softly yet influentially “Alice, that was uncalled for”

My sister had genuine remorse in her eyes as she followed Bella’s retreating form “If she would just listen”

Only the women seemed to know what was going on as I looked around at the faces of my father and brothers – who looked just as confused as I did. Emmett came to his own conclusion “Did you let one slide Eddie?”

Let what slide?

He laughed at my bewilderment “Is little Bell knocked up?”

As I answered with a confident “No” dad glared at me “You told me this morning…”

“Bella is not pregnant, she can’t …” my brain kicked in before my mouth could finish. This was not their business nor did I think that Bella would appreciate me informing them, at least not at that moment. Before I could get up to follow Bella someone must have made an unspoken request because Alice stood “I’m going, Jaz watch the kids I’ll be right back”

Mom and Rose shared a glance while dad pulled up a chair to sit down between them. The two women acted like nothing had happened as they started discussing a magazine article. Jasper picked up Mia who was clinging to his leg crying because Alice walked away and Vinny asked if he could go back into the pool. Jasper told him to wait until his mother got back but that didn’t sit well with the boy at all. Jasper started to reason with him, explaining why he had to wait when Emmett’s stare caught my attention.

He moved to sit next to me on the lounge chair and I readied myself for his satirical comment. “She can’t, as in she can’t be because she’s on the rag or she can’t, as in ever?”

“Not now Emmett” my answer was enough to tell him.

He sighed deeply “Is it a medical thing? Was she sick, I know that chicken pox will make a man sterile; does that work the same way with a woman? Was she in some kind of accident or is it a defect?”

“Bella is not defective” the last thing I wanted to do was to make it sound like her medical problem was in anyway some kind of a flaw. She already harbored enough guilt and remorse, she didn’t need more.

Emmett kept his voice low “I didn’t say she was and I would kick anyone’s ass that did. What I was talking about was physical deficiencies that could cause infertility. Some things like cyst, blockages or fibroid tumors can medically be taken care of so the chances of conceiving…”

There are times that my brother’s knowledge confounds me. Emmett teaches high school physical education and coaches the football team; he is big, brawny and could be what most would consider a meathead. His loud, fun loving, crude exterior often mask the astute intellect he holds.

How in the hell did he know about female infertility?

The question must have shown on my face as Emmett shrugged “I teach health classes”

Ohhhh

Keeping my eyes on the floor I wanted to reassure him “No it’s nothing like that…”

“So what’s the problem then?”

Our eyes met for a brief moment as I spoke quietly “During her marriage there was some damage…”

Emmett’s eyes narrowed in true rage at the implications of what I was saying as he seethed under his breath. “That son-of-bitch! What did he do to her?”

Staring into the dark blueness of my brother’s eyes I was tempted to tell him, however the better part of honor came through, I couldn’t betray Bella’s trust simply to appease my brother’s interest or to ease my own internal struggle. Looking around at the faces of my family I tried to make it appear that it was their presence keeping me from spilling my guts.

Emmett got a rueful expression on his face “It was bad, wasn’t it? Like she’s lucky to be alive, kind of bad?”

“Yeah” it was all I said before standing up “I’m going to go check on her”

Bella had walked off towards the direction of the bathrooms and just as I had gotten into the little corridor Alice came out of the ladies room. “Is Bella alright?”

“She’s a big girl Edward; don’t worry so much, you’ll get gray hair”

“Concern is different than worry Alice” I assured her.

“Doesn’t matter, results in the same grey hair” She started to walk back over to the rest of the family but abruptly turned back to face me with a shrewd grin. Taking a step closer to me Alice brought her face to within a few inches of mine “By the way I have one word for you” her voice lowered to a hushed whisper “Sapphires”

My brows narrowed at her as I wondered what the heck she was talking about. Alice rolled her eyes bringing her left hand up cup my face while she tapped her ring finger against my cheek and repeated slightly louder “Sapphires”

Much like Emmett surprises me with his knowledge base Alice often does the same thing with her insight. It is not that she is psychic or can see the future she just has this uncanny ability of knowing things. She always called it intuition and I will admit when we were kids it would freak me out. As we grew to teenagers it became a backup system to not get into trouble. If someone was having a party and Alice said not to go, we stayed away. She never said what exactly was going to happen but it was enough of a warning to heed and we were usually glad that we did.

There was no reason for me to ask Alice how she knew, she wouldn’t tell me anyway or worse, it would be something simple like she overheard a conversation between our parents. If that was the case it would totally ruin the mystic she had going on. Instead I smiled at her repeating the word ‘Sapphires’ to let my sister know I had gotten the message.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Shaking my head at her hopeful expression I told her “No”

Picking out a ring for Bella was something I wanted to do on my own. Besides it wasn’t going to be any run of the mill engagement diamond that could be found in hundreds of jewelry shops. I wanted something special that would symbolize my love for her along with our relationship. Demettri would be all the help I needed and I was positive that together we would come up with the perfect ring. The only thing I would have to worry about was finding the precise opportunity so that Bella would say yes.

The bathroom door opened as Alice stepped away from me to look over at Bella “Hurry up because I won’t be able to keep Vinny out of the water.”

Bella nodded and I could only surmise that Alice was referring to whatever they had in store for Emmett. My mind couldn’t totally comprehend because one look at Bella told me that she had been crying. Not very much but her eyes were excessively glassy, with a slight trace of pink around the edges.

Before Alice could completely leave the corridor I had Bella in my arms holding her tightly to me as I kissed the top of her head. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

Tilting her head back Bella looked up into my face “Not right now, later”

At her assurance that the discussion would take place I decided to finagle more information out of her. Running my hand down her side I palmed her bottom pulling her tightly against me as I asked “Can it be at the same time as when you tell me why you called my Aunt?”

The conversation that took place between the two of them would be documented in Bella’s journal and I could have waited to read it but I really wanted her to tell me about too. Bella smirked with a slight twinkle in her eye “I’ll have you know Jane called me, but since it concerns you too, then yes I suppose I’ll have to tell you all about it.”

“Is that so?” I asked with a grin, spinning us so that Bella’s back was against the wall and rubbing my check along her jawline while speaking quietly against her ear “You suppose? I seem to remember that was a major condition”

“Con…dition?” Bella whimpered as I placed a line a kisses down her neck.

“Mmm…yes” the word came out in a hiss against her throat as I let my nose skim up the other side of her neck “full disclosure, remember?” Bella’s hands came up around my neck gripping the back of my hair as I ground my dick into her thigh while speaking quietly against her ear “I would hate to think of my girl as being intentionally deceptive. Are you being naughty Isabella?” at the sound of her name she whimpered.

Pulling back I looked into her face waiting for her eyes to open. As they fluttered to life I stared into the deep brown for a long moment before asking “Do you need a spanking?”

Biting down on her lip she shifted her hips around looking for friction, finding none she let out a small sigh. Lowering her chin she looked up at me innocently through her lashes “Not like the last one”

She was referring to the maintenance spanking I had given to her in the motel room after the run in with James. Even though it had left her ass tender for a rather long time it had been a necessary evil that served its purpose however I had sensual spanking in mind. Shaking my head I agreed with her “Not at all like the last one”

I totally was not expecting the shift in Bella’s body as she attacked my lips with hers or the way she wrapped her leg around mine to grind her hip against my dick. The low groan left my throat just as the excited voice of my nephew came from behind me. “Uncle Eddie, come see my trick!”

Bella’s hands released the hold she had on my hair as the rest of her body straightened while Vinny uttered his disgust at finding us in such a precarious position “Ewwww…”

Taking an experimental step away from Bella I wasn’t sure how much I would be able to walk with the massive hard-on I was sporting. After a deep breath I grinned as Bella giggled at the knowledge of my rather large problem before throwing some interference with the insistent five year old that was pulling on my wrist.

“Come on Vinny, let Uncle Eddie use the bathroom and then he’ll watch” reaching out she took one of Vinny’s hands making him release the hold on me. Standing there still rather dazed I watched as the two of them started to walk away. Just as they were ready to turn the corner Bella glanced over her shoulder giving me a smart-ass smirk “Don’t take too long with little eddie”

At the sound of her giggle my face dropped.

Oh, she is going to pay for that

Standing there in the hallway with my mouth gaping open I heard the door to the ladies room open a second before someone’s hand touched the back of my arm “She just left you hanging? I can take care of you”

“Excuse me?” I had to blink a few times before I realized that Jackie…Jennifer…Jenna, whatever the fuck her name is, was actually talking to me.

“You looked all cozy with that girl, and she left you standing here like that…” she glanced down at my crouch “…I’m very good and it wouldn’t take long…”

My brain finally kicked in and I realized what she was suggesting. I have to say that just the thought of her anywhere near my dick was the quickest hard-on repellant I had ever seen. Pulling my arm away from her hand I stepped away as my eyes narrowed, “What’s your name again?”

Not that I cared one way or another, I just wanted to make it clear that she was of so little interest to me that I didn’t even remember her name.

“Gina”

I didn’t even have the right letter

That thought made me smile which was probably a bad thing as Gina got the wrong idea and stepped closer to me. I needed to set her straight. “I’m sure you can hoover like a pro but I have absolutely no need of your services”

The last thing I wanted to do was show even the slightest bit of interest, so before she could say anything I high-tailed it out of there to join my family. As I came around the corner Rose leaned over to say something to Bella who was sitting on long part of the lounge chair with her feet on the floor. Looking up at me she smiled for a second before shifting her eyes to whom I assumed was Gina following behind me. In an instant the smile that had been on her face was replaced with fury as the two women whispered something to each other. Whatever they were saying had gotten the attention of my mother who gave me a hostile look before letting her eyes roam away from me to the other side of the room.

As I approached Bella shook her head at whatever my mother had said then watched me as I sat down on the floor in front of her. Leaning my back against the lounge chair I stretched my legs out crossing my ankles. Bella cupped my face with her palms, tilting my head back and forming a screen of hair as she looked down at me. She spoke quietly yet still loud enough for the others to hear “I see you made a new friend”

Leaning my head back onto her thigh my hands skimmed up her smooth legs until they reached the back of knees, lifting them over my shoulders I looked into her eyes hoping that the repulsion I felt from the encounter with Gina showed on my face “She’s no friend of mine”

Bella regarded my expression for a long moment before shaking her head with a smirk. “You’re just too dazzling for your own good. I’m going to have to keep my eye on you”

Bringing my hands up around the back of her neck I pulled her face a little closer to mine as I assured her “You don’t have to worry about me nâhtötse. I know where my bread is buttered”

She giggled “Don’t you mean your bread stick?”

“No. I mean the whole damn thing. All of me, only needs you”

Bella brought her lips to mine whispering an ‘I love you’ before she kissed me. It wasn’t a quick peck but we also knew that there were lots of people around so we kept it respectable however it would have been very easy to get carried away. My body was still kind of feeling the effects of our little encounter by the bathroom and even though Gina had disrupted my mood, being with Bella brought it right back. As she pulled back my hand swept through her hair, gathering it to one side of her face. Looking up into her eyes they were dark and glassy while her face was flushed with a pink hue.

My girl wanted me

Knowing that it was going to have to wait I smiled up at her “Upside down kisses. We’ll have to try them later”

“Mmmm…yes we will and maybe some other upside down things as well”

I think a small growl left my throat at the thought of what Bella was suggesting and I would have liked to take the conversation a little further, like all the way up to our room further, however the throat clearing reminded me once again where we were. Bella placed another kiss on my lips as she assured me with a whisper “later”

“Yo…are you done making out?” Of all people Jasper was the last one who I would have thought to say anything. Bella sat back up attempting to remove her legs from my shoulders but I held on to her ankles keeping her right where she was while defending our actions. “We were having a discussion”

“Is it a discussion anyone can join?” before I could come up with an answer Bella blurted out “I didn’t know you were into that Jasper”

The smile on his face turned into a blush at Bella’s words as he shook his head “Touché, sweet Bella”

“Oh she is not that sweet” I assured him with a laugh as Bella chimed in “Yes I am! I’m very sweet and you know it”

“I have never known Bella be anything but gracious” Dad added with a wink in her direction.

I rolled my eyes at dad while rubbing my thumb against Bella’s ankle “Oh yeah gracious and yet still buh-SAY digetsinatlai wisatsu”

Bella gasped at my calling her my naughty slave girl while I laughed and dad shook his head “I don’t even want to know what that means” and mom admonished me “Edward you shouldn’t say stuff like that”

“What did I say?” I asked with a chuckle. Mom had no clue but must have figured from Bella’s reaction it wasn’t sweets words of love. Looking up at my girl her face was bright red I wanted to see the love in her eyes. “She’s also uwohiyuhi, uwoduhi, and akuatseli”

The smile lite up her face at me calling her devoted, beautiful and mine, earning me a kiss from Bella and praise from my mother “That’s much nicer Edward”

“You don’t even know what I said” mom glared at me “I don’t have to know I can tell by Bella’s reaction”

Smirking I asked my mother “Are you sure you don’t want to know what I said the first time?”

The resounding no from both my parents was underscored by Emmett’s – who had been unusually quiet – “Hell yes”

Winking at my brother I assured him that I would tell him later as dad called over to Alice “Are we going to see a trick or not?”

“Yes, I need to get tape, I thought I brought it down but”

Bella spoke up “I have band-aides Alice”

“Oh that’ll work”

Bella gave me a triumphant smile as she moved to retrieve the band-aides from the bag she had packed with almost every necessity you could imagine. We had a major discussion the day before about the need for all that stuff, it had gotten to the point where I was questioning her on every item and she became so frustrated that I was sent to the car. With the usefulness of the band-aides coming into play she was feeling rather smug.

“That doesn’t count” I told her as she moved to her legs off my shoulders to stand.

“Yes it does” she countered turning her upper body to look at me as I pushed myself off the floor to sit on the chair she had just vacated.

“No it doesn’t, no one is bleeding, there is no big gapping wounds that needed to be covered”

Bella shook the band-aides at me “Did I have to take them out of the bag because someone asked to use them?”

Sighing I raised my hands in defeat while Bella just had to rub it in “Say it, come on tell me what I want to hear”

When she packed the bag I had questioned her on the necessity of all the stuff she was putting in there and before sending me to the car she said that I would eat my words. That the things in there would be needed and then I would have to say that she was right. Thanks to Alice I not only had to do that but I was also sure that for the rest of my life I would have to remain quiet whenever she packs one of those bags.

Thank you very much Alice.

If I had to do it I was going to ham it up, dropping to my knees with my hands in a praying position I looked up at Bella reverently “oh wise and wondrous woman, you were so insightful at your forethought to bring band-aides”

She giggled through the whole thing then bent down to give me a kiss “You’re a nut”

“Just doing it right nâhtötse” getting to my feet I realized that every member of my family was staring at me but it was Emmett who laughed.

While Bella went to give Alice the box, Rose stood from her chair to make her way back to the bathrooms. As she departed Emmett sat down in her spot, stretching his legs out as he leaned back with his hands clasped behind his head looked at me and laughed again.

I didn’t care, shrugging I sat down in Bella’s chair waiting for the comment to come, it didn’t take long “damn dude you are wrapped. We might as well cover you with lettuce and smother you in Ranch dressing.”

He could think I was wrapped around Bella’s finger all he wanted to. I was happy and more important my girl was happy too.

“Speaking of which, mom, are we doing anything for dinner?” While Emmett’s focus was changes I glanced over at Jasper who was staring at me.

As our eyes met he smiled giving me nod which I could only take as some kind of approval. I guess our talk at the golf course must have had some kind of an effect on my brother-in-law. It’s not that I was expecting an instant change I just didn’t want there to be any point of contention between us and I certainly didn’t want it cause Bella any distress. Time would be the telling factor in that equation, Jasper needed to see how Bella truly is not his mental picture of an abused woman. I thought about Bella’s volunteering to help with the kid’s party, which might be a good thing. It would give Jasper time to get to know her when I’m not around; then he can see for himself what kind of woman Bella really is. .

“Your father said something about a Steak House” mom answered sitting back down after re-filling her cup from the pitchers of ice water on the table behind us while Jasper pulled up a chair next to dad asking. “The one we passed this morning?”

Mom had sat back down in her chair and while they talked about the plans for dinner my attention went to Bella. She had taken Mia from Alice so that my sister could make some kind of cone out of pages from a magazine while Rose was using the band-aides as tape to secure it together. Once that was done Bella came back over with Mia perched on her hip, as she passed Jasper to get a cup of water her held out his hands “I’ll take her Bella”

Mia laid her little head on Bella’s shoulder while she continued sucking her thumb as she clutched her slightly greying blanket to her chest. Bella shook her head assuring him that she was alright and after pouring herself a cup of water sat down next to me with Mia on her lap.

“Hi Mia” smiling at my niece she smiled back shyly burying her face in the valley between Bella’s breast.

Oh if only I were two again, I would live in that spot.

Bella was digging around for something in the tote bag and once she found it, she slipped her hand under Mia’s head to tuck it inside the top of her bathing suit. I wanted to ask what it was but she stretched her legs out hooking her toes on the edge of the Emmett’s chair. As he looked down at her feet he started laughing “I can’t believe your wearing those things”

Bella regarded him for a second before looking at the rings on her toes, that she started to wiggle “Why wouldn’t I? They’re pretty, aren’t my toes pretty Mia?”

Nodding her head Mia pointed to Bella’s feet “you got wrings”

“I know, Uncle Eddie gave them to me” Mia looked at me for a brief moment as Emmett laughed “Did Uncle Moneybags tell you how much he spent on them?”

“No, why would I ask that? Besides it’s the thought that counts, and I love them” Bella gave me a smile as my brother laughed some more “Oh you are going to really love them when your toes turn green. I hope he spends more than twenty dollars on the next ring he buys you”

Shut the fuck up Emmett

From the corner of my eye I could see Bella openly regarding Emmett expression along with the comment he made. I wanted to say something to change the subject and was very glad when Vinny announced that he was ready to start. “Ok, watch what I can do”

Mom, dad and Jasper who had been listening to our little exchange with intense interest, all turned their seats around to face the pool. We all watched with undivided attention as Vinny took the cone the women had made and stuck it inside the waist band of his board shorts. Standing with his hand clasped behind his back he tilted his head back while Alice placed a quarter on his forehead. Vinny moved his head slowly at first, then quickly jerked his neck so the quarter fell forward landing in the cone.

Vinny was proud as a peacock as we all clapped because that’s what you are supposed to do – positive reinforcement and all that shit. Dad encouraged him to do it again, and I’ll be damn if the quarter didn’t land in the cone. Dad got up to try it and after four times of failing decided it was harder than it looked. After Jasper tried and also failed they all figured it must be a kid thing. Rose went next, getting the quarter inside the cone on her second try.

“That doesn’t count her belly sticks out” reminding his wife that her stomach was indeed growing was not a very smart move on Emmett’s part. Rose glared daggers at him to the point where he almost became speechless as he stammered out an apology.

“B.baby, I..I didn’t mean it like that. Y..you know the little guy in there, he’s just helping you, that’s all. I didn’t mean you were fat” I had to admit he wasn’t helping himself at all. Rose continued to glare as we all snickered while he persistent in trying to make the original point “The baby’s in there and this is a kid thing, so he was helping you. That’s all I meant.”

Rose gave him an understanding nod as he finagled his way out of the situation, letting out a sigh as Alice told Bella to try. Reluctantly she handed Mia to me while going over to take a turn. Giving Rose the red plastic cup with her ice water in Bella put the cone –that was starting to loose it’s shape – in place. Once she was in the correct position, Alice placed the coin on her head and Vinny talked her through the process. As her head snapped forward the quarter dropped into the cone. Vinny clapped giving her a high five as Bella smiled victoriously.

“See not a kid thing, it just takes skill”

“Skill?” Emmett questioned standing to his feet “Let me at it, I’ll show you skill”

Bella came back over to me taking Mia from my lap as the girls gave Emmett a new cone. Rose was still holding Bella’s cup as she stood on her tip toes to put the quarter on Emmett’s head. As he stood there with his head tipped backwards he kept asking Vinny for more directions. While they were discussing strategy Bella moved to Vinny’s side, taking a hold of his hand as the girls started to bait Emmett.

“Come on already, show us your skill” Alice chided while Rose became more impatient “On the count of three”

“One…two...three” As she said three both of them poured the contents of their cups into the cone.

Emmett scream like a bitch as the water with chucks of ice hit his junk forming a puddle at his feet. Before he had a chance to react Rose and Alice pushed on his shoulders making him fall into the pool while we all laughed.

Bella giggled as she quickly spoke to a stunned Vinny “Come on let’s go get a Popsicle”

My girl was doing her job

Never one to turn down a treat Vinny accepted, as they walked out of the pool area Emmett broke through the water sputtering “What the hell!”

“I’ll what the hell you!” Alice was leaning over the water with her hands on her hips “Do you know what my son said today?”

Emmett was still in shock but didn’t look over at any of us who were still laughing. Alice proceeded to tell him the ball sac story then added “It’s embarrassing enough when your child says something they come up with on their own. But when he says something that a five year old shouldn’t know, it’s worse. Now if you don’t stop teaching him all those expressions, I’m not going to let you play with him anymore.”

“You froze my nuts off because Vin-man said ball sacs?” he was still bewildered

“I mean it Emmett! You wait until you have a kid and see how embarrassing it is.”

“Alright…alright, I’ll talk to him” Emmett admitted defeat as he pulled himself out of the pool taking the towel Rose was offering.

“This whole damn thing was a setup” he commented while drying himself off as we all continued to find it humorous.

“Mom? You too?” he sounded hurt while mom got apologetic “I’m sorry dear you needed to be taught a lesson”

“My own mother” he muttered pulling up another chair to sit in “damn diabolical women” he looked around the group “where is the little voice box?”

“Bella took them to get a Popsicle”

“She was in on it too? I should have known with the skill thing” Rose laughed along with Alice

“We knew that one would get you” Emmett shook his head at his wife glancing over at mom remorseful “I can’t believe you turned my own mother against me”

“Now you know how I felt, jerk” I said nudging his leg with my foot

“That was different, it was spare of the moment and mom was acting for the good of the team”

“And now I was acting for the good of my grandchildren. You can’t say stuff like that around children Emmett; he’s just a little boy. Children imitate what they see and hear, especially when it comes from someone they love and admire, they want to imitate that person. The world we live in, with TV, internet and music videos, makes it hard enough for parents to help their children retain some innocence. Vinny will learn enough dirty talk ridding on the school bus, he doesn’t need to hear it from you. Nurturing a child to be a respectful requires that you are always aware of your actions and words. Your father and I never went around cursing or using derogatory slang, because it wasn’t acceptable to us for our children to talk that way. And it won’t be acceptable for your child either, so the quicker you learn to watch your mouth the easier it will be.”

“I didn’t mean to…” Emmett stated to justify himself but mom stopped him “I know you didn’t, and you might think that because it’s not full out curse words that it is acceptable. It’s not and you are doing that child a great disservice as well as undermining Japer and Alice’s authority.” Mom gave him a piercing look “That cannot continue to happen, do you understand?”

I think I just discovered where my Dom tendencies came from.

Emmett nodded in agreement knowing that mom was right. Alice was mad as she condemned Emmett’s frequent usage of colorful language and I wasn’t so sure that he had taken her seriously. Mom was more insistent in her explanation making sure that he understood the ramifications of what he was doing. Truly it’s not like he taught Vinny to go around calling women bitches or saying motherfucker when he was angry yet it still was inappropriate language for a five year old or any child for that matter.

A few minutes later Bella returned with children Mia had a blue freeze pop with a napkin wrapped around the plastic to protect her hands from the cold while Vinny was sporting a red mouth from the half eaten popsicle.
Bella once again declined giving Mia back to her parents saying that she was already all sticky so she would just keep her until she was done and then wash her off.

Vinny was more concerned with Emmett “They got you all wet then pushed you in the pool”

“I know, that’s because your mom was mad at me” I wasn’t so sure that was a good thing to say. I could just see Vinny getting mad at his little sister and thinking that it was alright to push her, but Emmett seemed to have it covered. “But pushing someone is wrong and you’re not going to do that right?”

Shaking his head in contradiction to his words Vinny answered with a resounding “Right”

“That’s good” Emmett continued “Just because someone else does something wrong doesn’t mean you can do it too, or say things. There are something’s that I shouldn’t say and it’s bad of me to do that but just because you hear and know what they are doesn’t mean that you should say them”

Vinny looked kind of confused as Emmett seemed to be trying to make sense of what he was talking about “Like say you’re in school and you are sitting next to an ugly girl…”

“Emmett!” Alice interjected while I snickered under my breath and Emmett blew her off “I got this”

Giving his attention back to Vinny he went on “So the girl has glasses and funny teeth…”

“Oh my word” Bella muttered under her breath but I really wanted to see where the conversation was going “…you wouldn’t call her four-eyes or beaver-teeth, because that would be mean and hurt her feelings. See what I’m saying?”

The look of uncertainty still clouded our nephew’s face making Emmett reach deeper “What I mean is, just because you know the words doesn’t mean it’s all right to say them. Like today when you said ball sacs. That wasn’t good dude…”

Vinny looked like Emmett had just told him his puppy died. His hands dropped along with his face as he started to cry “But I didn’t say nooky”

There was a collective gasp as Emmett was momentarily speechless before he looked at our sister - who had the widest eyes I have ever seen - and pointed a finger in our direction “It was Bella”