Chapter 66

BPOV
The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Maggie, the woman was so delusional about her son it was almost laughable. She never saw anything that James did to me as being his fault. There was always an excuse made and it would eventually turn into being my mistake. When James and I separated Maggie called me to ask when I was going to come to my senses and go back to where I belonged. In her mind we were married and that was all that mattered.

Maggie and George never approved of my decision to continue with an education; they were still stuck on the idea that a woman is to stay home and cook, clean and raise children while the man provides. The wife is to be subservient to her husband taking his word as final law and accepting him as head of the house just as Jesus is the head of the church. In their perfect ‘Leave it to Beaver’ cookie cutter world, that sounds like a wonderful life, in reality it was hell on earth. Because I wanted a career that meant that I was rebellious, headstrong, and selfish. According to their perspective James was the martyr in our marriage because he tolerated my willfulness.

They considered my college to be a waste of both time and money, stating very plainly that it would be useless once we had children because I would be home with them. That however was in no way supposed to keep me from having a part-time job to help supplement James’s income until the children came. That was one thing they did approve of with conditions; the hours were to be convenient to accommodate his schedule. That way I could see that James woke up in the morning, had a hearty breakfast and a healthy dinner every night. I was never to do anything where I made more money than him. That would only serve to emasculate my husband and take away from his responsibly of providing for his family. And under no circumstances was I to be in charge of anything or anybody. That would only serve to leave me with that idea that when I came home I should have the same privileges.

Maggie was one of the few people that I told about James’s temper, I didn’t go into details with her however I did mention that he slapped me and would pull me hair. I had hoped that as his mother she would have been appalled and done or said something to him- that never happened. Her advice to me was to stop doing whatever it was that upset him, after all I must have done something to deserve it and it was James’s place to keep me in line.

She then went on to explain to me where the expression ‘Rule of Thumb’ came from. In order for a husband to keep his wife in line he was allowed to beat her with a stick as long as it was no wider than his thumb. Her parting words in that one and only conversation I ever had with her on the subject was, ‘Some young wives are mulish and the only thing that helps them learn their place is a good slap across the mouth.

As an eighteen year old girl, sitting in her kitchen helping to make Sunday dinner while she sang hymns, I didn’t know what to say to her. I had never seen George hit Maggie, nor had I ever seen him raise his voice to her. As a grown woman who could see beyond the illusion, I wondered. Maggie kept her house immaculate, wore dresses with heels and pearls, and held luncheons for her friends. To anyone looking in their front window the view would have seemed perfect, yet I pondered how many times Maggie was slapped across the mouth until she complied.

She never understood why I left James; in her mind I was just being unruly not wanting to accept my place under my husband’s authority. Maggie told me that I was breaking my vow, not only to James but to god, even going so far as to send the minister who performed our marriage ceremony to come talk to me in hopes that I would see error of my ways.

If there was ever one thing that turned me away from organized religion it was Reverend Faire. Speaking with the man I gave him a small glimpse of what I endured. The slaps, punches and choking made no difference to the so called man of god as he told me that in all things I was to submit to my husband. According to him it was my place to stay in the marriage trusting in god to take care of me.

Maggie continued to see the separation as my inadequacies, believing what James told her. When the divorce was final, the woman who on my wedding day told me I was the daughter she never had cursed me saying I wasn’t good enough for her Jimmy. Since that time Maggie had refused to speak to me so I was surprised when we came out of the restroom that she stood to even acknowledge my presence, even more stunned when she asked if I would talk with her.

Leah wanted me to ignore her, keep walking without even saying a hello, but I wanted to know what Maggie had to say. I had thought that perhaps she had heard about what happened the day before at Casey’s and she wanted to know why I slapped her precious son. I didn’t want to have a conversation with her standing in the middle of the diner with everyone watching, so I sat down in the booth next to her sister Janise, feeling like I was lamb being led to the slaughter. The only thing that kept me there was my curiosity and the fact that Edward was only forty feet away watching me very intently.

Maggie looked over her shoulder following my gaze. “Your friend is very handsome Bella.”

“Yes, and Edward is very kind to me,” I agreed, making sure to throw that in.

“I was wondering how you were doing?” Maggie asked.

My eyes went to my ex-mother-in-law. It was the first time in almost three years she inquired about my wellbeing. “I’m fine thank you.” The three of us were quiet and I suppose it would have been polite to inquire of her welfare but I just couldn’t summon up enough emotion to care.

“Yes…well.” Bethany brought over their coffee giving me an inquisitive look before handing menus to the booth behind us, when she walked out of hearing range Maggie continued, “I thought maybe you might be interested to know that Jimmy and Vickie are thinking about getting married and starting a family.”

I nodded not really caring yet hurt that Victoria could have children while James took that away from me. Not wanting to sit there feeling sorry for myself when another thought came to my mind and I wondered how Maggie justified James carrying on an affair with Victoria the whole time we were married. Surely his sin of adultery had to be worse than my sin of independence, but I didn’t ask. I didn’t want it to get back to anyone that I was interested in their life or that I was bitter for the wrongs committed against me. That would have made it seemed like I cared and frankly there was no reason to bring up the past when my eyes were gazing at my future. A future who looked like at any moment, was ready to jump out of his chair to come and get me.

“Bella you were always a very reasonable girl,” Maggie’s compliment got my attention, “and I can understand that at the time of the divorce you would have needed the support. But now that you are finished with school and you’re working it should be easier. Besides if you didn’t already receive the money from your mother’s death, you will be soon.”

The callous reference to my mother’s dying stung a little, “You’re concerned about my financial situation?”

“Well honestly Bella regardless of what happened between you and Jimmy I still care about you, in the eyes of Jesus you are still my daughter.” Internally I scoffed because I knew that Maggie could care less about me, outwardly I remained expressionless while I listened to what she had to say. “I certainly didn’t want you to go hungry or homeless, but now your situation has improved so there is no more need for the support.”

What support?

“And like I said Jimmy wants to move on with his life, remarry and be happy but they simply can’t afford to.”

“You want me to give James money?” My voice was louder than it should have been and the people in the booth across from us turned to stare.

“No…” Maggie said in a hushed tone reminding me to lower my voice, “I just thought that maybe now since you no longer need it, you could stop taking the money.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. What money?”

“Bella,” she said drawing out my name with displeasure, “the six hundred dollars spousal support you get every month.”

My eyes widened in surprise as her eyes narrowed in shrewdness. “Come now Bella I’ve seen the bank records. On the third of every month an automatic transfer of six hundred dollars is deposited into your bank account in Seattle.”

“My account? It actually says my name Isabella Swan?” my finger was tapping the table knowing full well that it didn’t.

“No it doesn’t say your name,” she said like I was stupid, “it just has the transfer with the routing number and the confirmation but…”

“I’m going to tell you, I do not now - nor have I ever received any money from James.”

“You don’t have to lie Bella,” Janise said accusingly.

My eyes went to the woman sitting next to me with too much makeup on her face, then back to Maggie who became indignant. “The transfers have been occurring since the divorce so are you honestly going to tell me that you know nothing about them? Who else would James be sending money to in the city?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know, ask him.”

“I did, that’s how I know it’s going to you.”

My anger was flaring that I was being used in some kind of game that James was playing. Looking up I saw Edward eyeing me with suspicion as the bell on the door rang and Charlie came in with Sue. I needed to put an end to this conversation. “Maggie you can choose to believe me or not, but I’m telling you that James is lying. The only money I ever received was nine thousand eight hundred and thirty seven dollars from the divorce settlement. That was my half of the equity in the house, which by the way I lost ten thousand dollars on. And let me make it very clear, after everything that James has put me through, I don’t care if I had to sleep in someone’s basement and eat out of the garbage bins, I wouldn’t take a fucking dime from him.”

“You don’t have to curse Bella,” she sounded like I offended her but at that point I was done caring. She and George with their fucked up ideas raised a psychopath. Moving to stand I leaned across the table towards her, “You can fucking go back and ask fucking Jimmy where the fucking money goes because I don’t have a fucking clue.”

At the end of my little tirade I stood not realizing that Edward was there taking my hand. The feel of his warm skin along with the tingle of his touch calmed me, “Come on Isabella, everyone is waiting for you,” then always the gentleman he nodded at the two woman staring at me like I was insane, “ladies.”

Placing his hand on the small of my back he started walking us over to where everyone was sitting. I paused as the gravity of what I had just been accused of gripped me.

“Edward,” my voiced was hushed while my eyes looked up into his face, he had his own look of concern as he kissed my forehead. “We’ll talk about it later.”

Plastering half a smile on my face I nodded in agreement. It would be one thing to talk in front of Jake and Leah but not everyone else, although when I sat down everyone was staring at me waiting to know what happened. Charlie was the one to speak, “Everything ok Bells?”

“Yeah,” I said looking over a menu that I knew by heart. “Maggie just wanted to say hi and see how I was doing.”

That wasn’t really a lie she did inquire how I was. Putting down the menu I took a sip of coffee that I realized Edward must have ordered for me, and glanced at Jake. His expression was murderous as he shook his head; I knew what he was saying. He hated those people and all that they stood for, and he wondered why I even bothered to talk to Maggie. Not having the answer, I shrugged. My eyes went to Edward sitting directly across the table, he was watching me with no expression what so ever. I smiled at him making him grin lazily back at me just as Bethany came to take our order
.
As I ordered my standard everything omelet with extra gravy, Quil groaned. “Do we have to watch you eat that?”

I laughed, “Don’t look,” while Edward questioned, “Extra gravy?”

“Ah…it’s disgusting,” Quil commented, “everything is all mixed together, and then they pour sausage gravy on top of it.”

“It’s good,” I assured him as Edward chuckled, “That my girl.”

After Bethany got everyone’s order Sue leaned over to talk to the table, “You all look tired, what time did you go to bed last night?”

“What time did we go to bed or what time did we go to sleep?” Leah asked smugly raising her eyes in my direction.

“You couldn’t sleep?” Sue was concerned but Kim couldn’t resist, “No there was a lot of yelling going on.”

“Lots of yelling and banging,” Emery added.

Before the conversation with Maggie, Kim and Leah were teasing me in the restroom about how loud Edward and I were. So that meant that everyone else must have heard us too, which should have been evident by the laughter at the table. My face heated up as I tried to control my embarrassment while Edward just winked at me. Charlie on the other hand had no idea what was so funny came to his own conclusion. “I guess the kids on the beach must have been putting up quite a raucous if you heard it all the way back at the house.”

Thank god Charlie is so oblivious

“Oh yeah it was a raucous alright, as a matter of fact there was two of them.”

“Two?” Emery questioned Leah before looking at Kim, “We must have missed the second one.”

Edward chuckled while my face burned as I stared into the coffee cup as Charlie still not getting it said, “I’m glad we went home it was nice and quiet there.”

“I think it would have been quieter if you stayed on the rez too Charlie,” Quil said from his place at the end of the table next to Edward while Claire giggled next to me.

Please god, make them stop

One of the good things about breakfast is that it never takes very long for the food to come. Bethany carrying the plates out from the kitchen put an end to all the innuendos as everyone focused on their food. I could feel Edward watching me as I cut up the toast into small pieces and squirted ketchup on top of the my eggs. When I reached for the jelly packets he had already placed three of them in front of me. “Thank you.”

He nodded with a grin when I picked up the first bite the flavors and textures exploded in my mouth and I unconsciously moaned slightly. Edward wagged his eyes at me grinning wider while Claire who was sitting next to me choked on the juice she was drinking.

“Damn Bella you’re the only person I know who can practically orgasm over eggs.”

“Here try it,” bringing the fork up for her.

“No…that looks gross.”

“Close your eyes and try it,” my voice was stern and to my surprise Claire did what I said. Bringing the fork out of her mouth I watched her lips wrap around the ends of the prongs as her tongue peeked out to clean the remnants of the small spot of gravy that remained. Claire sighed and a feeling of satisfaction came over me along with something else that I had never experienced from a woman, excitement.

I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that Claire had done what I told her to, or if it was the act of watching her mouth work in a sensual manner, either way it was something foreign to me. It wasn’t like I felt the need to throw her down on the floor and start making out and it was easily pushed back, but it was there.

“See I told you, it’s all in the texture.”

Claire smiled, “yeah well that don’t mean I’m going to start eating like you.”

I laughed and when I looked across the table Quil and Edward were staring at us. Quil like he had just witnessed us having some girl lovin’ and Edward with astute curiosity. Something told me that the subject would be revisited, in the meantime
Quil couldn’t contain himself, “Do that again.”

Claire leaned across the table talking quietly, “Do you want us to get naked first?”

I thought Quil’s eyes were going to pop out of his head, “If you don’t mind and maybe we could get some whipped cream.”

At first my eyes narrowed at the suggestion but then I laughed along with Claire while Edward grinned in his own amusement. The rest of the talk around the table went from one subject to the next. Charlie asked Emery when he had to report for pre-season practices and then inquired about being able to get a better parking pass. That comment made me look to Edward with my own grin, as I kept my mouth shut. The rest of the talk centered on when everyone would be returning. As we talked about the Fourth of July picnic I realized that I was sorry we wouldn’t be able to make it.

Every time I was expected to come to Forks, I would do almost everything in my power to avoid it. Now for some reason that I didn’t comprehend I wanted to be here. I didn’t loath the thought of returning or seeing everyone in fact it was the opposite-I found myself looking forward to it. Was that simply because Edward was with me and his presence made everything better or was there some other reason? The people were the same, the activities hadn’t changed, I ate the same breakfast and slept in the same bed, yet I felt for the first time in a long time like Forks was my home. It didn’t matter to me what people said or what they thought, I had no reason to feel inferior. This is where my family lives, I was a part of it and more importantly it was part of me.

Kim and Emery had to leave because her mom still had the children as we said goodbye Kim told me to have a nice time at the beach and then mentioned calling me about the clothing donation. I knew that was a front to being able to coordinate Leah’s shower which was only two weeks away. She then hugged Edward saying something about a dinner but I wasn’t listening because Emery had me in a hug, reminding me to keep my mouth shut about the parking pass and thanking me for having a boyfriend who liked golf. He shook Edward’s hand telling him that he would be calling him on Friday about the foursome. Something about the word foursome made me giggle, it just sounded naughty.

Quil and Claire left soon after with a hugs and handshakes, Claire said she would call me at the end of week while Quil was talking quietly to Edward. With them gone Edward and I moved down to sit in the vacant chairs next to Leah and Jake. Charlie asked Bethany for another pot of coffee and then looked to me expectantly. Knowing what they all wanted, I told them what Maggie had said about James and Victoria wanting to get married. That they couldn’t because of the money transfers, which James had told his mother were going to me. After recounting all that was said, the questions started.

“Did you ever get support?” Edward wondered and I explained that I didn’t want to have any ties to James at all, so the answer was no.

“This is every month?” I shrugged at Sue’s question, “That’s what Maggie said, and it’s been happening since the divorce.”

“Only since then?” staring blankly at Charlie I didn’t have an answer for him, “I guess. That’s all Maggie knows about, it could have been happening before then.”

“What kind of game is he playing?” Jake was angry however his question was one that must have been on everyone’s mind as they all started coming up with theories.

“Six hundred dollars sounds like some kind of payment,” Sue thought aloud while Leah added, “maybe a car payment.”

“Have you seen him with a new car?” I asked my dad who shook his head while giving his own opinion, “Maybe it’s rent.”

“That would be really cheap rent,” Jake commented as Edward narrowed his eyes, “Not for a boarding room.”

Jake’s eyes shot to Edward in acknowledgement of the possibility as he went on talking, “If for whatever reason James needs to establish residency in the city, that’s a way to do it.”

“Wouldn’t his mail pile up?” Leah asked.

Edward had an answer for that too, “It’s easy enough to obtain a post office box.”

He was right, I had one. There was never any mail delivered to my home. The question was- why would James need residency in the city? Sue had another idea, “Maybe it’s a second mortgage or some other kind of loan payment.”

“Then wouldn’t he just tell that to Maggie, why bring me into it?”

“I don’t have the answer for you kid. All I can say is that it has nothing to do with you, so don’t let it worry you.”

The problem with Charlie’s theory was that it had everything to do with me. For whatever reason James saw fit to bring my name into whatever he’s doing. Making me look like I’m still beholden to him and I didn’t like that one bit. However, I didn’t know what I could do about it especially since up until an hour before I didn’t know anything about it. I don’t know if Edward could tell where my train of thought had gone or if his went in the same direction but his next statement made me feel more at ease.

“I’ll give Mr. Weiss a call and have him take a close look at the money trail. We are meeting with him on Friday morning, I’m sure that gives him enough time to check
it out.”

That’s right; I had forgotten that we had a meeting with the private investigator on Friday. We had been having such a great time while we were away that I pushed all the shit that was happening at home to the back of my mind. We only had a few more days and then we would be home. My selfish nature wanted to push everything aside so that we could enjoy what little bit of alone time we had left. The only good thing about going home was that the playroom was there and at that moment I was longing to please my Master. It seemed like it had been so long ago since we had a session in the playroom and all of a sudden my mind and body felt like it needed a fix.

“Who’s Mr. Weiss?” Charlie’s question made my thought process come back to the topic at hand, however as I listened to Edward answer him in that strong commanding voice he uses the yearning grew. Edward explained some of what was happening, Seth’s collar, my tire going flat, people knowing my personal business and then finally about the break-in at his house. As he spoke about that I remembered the business card in my wallet, which I promptly retrieved. Before I could say anything to Charlie he stared at me with an angry expression.

“Why don’t you tell me about these things?”

I sighed in frustration, “Because there was nothing to tell…”

“Jake tells you that someone purposely let the air out of your tires and there is nothing to tell?” His voice was harsh yet kept at a normal tone so none of the surrounding patrons could hear what was being said.

“We thought it was kids, so now I keep my car in the garage.”

That wasn’t a good enough answer as Charlie questioned, “And someone breaking into Edward’s house, that was kids too?”

All I could do was stare at my father because I had nothing to say that would have made him feel any better. Charlie huffed “Always like your mother…”
His words hurt at the insensitive mention of her “…keeping all the misery to herself instead of talking to me,” Charlie sighed calming himself down then held out his hand, “What is that?”

Looking down, I remembered Officer Hawks card. “This is the cop that came to the house after the break in. I wanted to know if you would go into the data base and check him out?”

“Check him out how?”

“I don’t know, see if he’s a good cop or not.” Charlie continued to stare at me so I went on, “When he came to the house he was rude, arrogant and kept insinuating that I knew more about what happened with my open case then I was letting on. Like I knew who did it.”

Charlie narrowed his eyes, “You do know.”

I could feel my breath hitch as the tears formed in my eyes; blinking back the moisture I watched my dad lean over to glance at Edward, “Are you privy to this information?”

“Yes Sir.”

Charlie narrowed his eyes, “Bella told you?”

Edward reached over to take my hand before he answered, “I know everything that happened.”

My dad huffed sitting back in his chair glaring at me, “Then you’re the only one.”

Dad was wrong about that, Leah knew. Her hand patted my leg in support as Sue tried to interject, “Charlie…”

“No…” he shook his head adamantly, “…this officer Hawk was right. She does know who attacked her and because of her unwillingness to come forward everyone at this table has been forced to be a silence accomplice in the whole mess.”

“Charlie,” Sue’s tone was forceful. “You know what they do to the victims of such crimes. The way defense attorneys treat them, they turn it around to make it look like their fault, like they were asking to be brutalized.”

“After what that bastard did, no one would do that to her,” Charlie seemed sure of himself.

“You just did.”

Sue’s accusatory tone couldn’t have been more forceful if she had slapped him in the face. My father’s features softened as he looked at me with regret.

“I’m sorry Bells…this whole damn thing is just…” he sighed rubbing his forehead with his fingers like he had a headache. After a few seconds Charlie held out his hand asking for the card, after looking it over his gaze settled back on me. “I’ll take a look but the only thing the data base will tell me is his record, any citations he received, if he’s been reprimanded or had complaints lodged against him. Other than that there might be a few comments from fellow officers or past partners, that’s about all.”

“Thank you,” I spoke softly because even though Charlie apologized his words still hurt.

Charlie insisted on paying for breakfast so while he waited in line to pay the bill the rest of us went outside to wait. I hugged Leah goodbye telling her thanks for keeping Seth while Jake shook Edwards’s hand, saying something about letting him know what happens. I didn’t know what Jake was talking about but I figured Edward would tell me. I watched in shock as Leah gave Edward a tentative hug but couldn’t spend too much time thinking about it because Jake engulfed me in his arms.

“Have a good time and don’t let what Maggie said worry you, she’s delusional. Besides na-WAY-th, we got something wonderful to look forward to.” Unsure what Jake was talking about my eyes narrowed while he grinned down at me happily, “Puppies!”

At that word my mouth fell open while Edward chuckled next to me. Sighing because although I wasn’t happy there wasn’t anything I could do about it, “Just take good care of my baby.”

“I’m on it Bells,” he laughed and I hugged Leah once more before they got into their car.

As they drove away my gaze went back to Edward who was leaning against the driver’s side door of his car watching me intently. Wrapping my arms around his waist I buried my head in his chest letting his scent draw me in. His hand ran slowly through the length of my hair “Are you alright baby?”

I nodded against his chest, “I don’t know what Charlie wants from me.”

“He loves you Bella. He wants…”

“What every father wants,” Sue’s voice coming from behind me interrupted Edward. Turning to face her she had a small blue cooler in her hands. “I packed you a lunch.”

“Thank you,” Edward said taking the cooler from her and placing it in the backseat while Sue looked to me. As she spoke there was that glint in her eyes she always got while reprimanding me, it was gripping without being hostile.

“Your father wants to be a part of your life Bella. You came to him when you were eight years old and he wonders if the circumstances had been different and you had another choice, would you have wanted to know him at all. He was a single man raising a daughter and he worries that perhaps he didn’t always do the right thing by you.”

“Charlie is a great dad, what could he have changed?”

Sue raised her eyebrow, “He wants you to talk to him, tell him what’s going on.”

“But when he finds things out, look how he responds.”

Sue had to see what I meant after all she yelled at Charlie for his reaction.
“That’s because he always gets secondhand information or told after the fact Bella, and it hurts him because he feels like you are shutting him out.” Sue spoke with conviction and then was quiet while I thought about what she said before going on, “Do you know how he felt when he had to hear from Mrs. Weaver that you were dating Edward? It doesn’t take much effort Isabella Marie…”

Shit she used my full name

“…a simple phone call on a Sunday night, ‘Gee dad how many fish did you catch today, oh by the way I met a man’…nothing to it.”

“But then he always wants to go into details…where you met him, what does he do…”

“That’s his way of being interested, don’t be so selfish.” Sue wasn’t angry she was
trying to make me understand, and I did yet there were things that my dad wanted to know that I didn’t want to tell him.

“I’m not being selfish. I’m trying to protect him.”

“Protect him from what? You think he hasn’t heard the rumors? Wouldn’t it be better to tell him the truth rather than letting his imagination run wild, picturing all kinds of horrible scenarios in his head?”

“Tell him so he can rush in and make it all better?” I didn’t see how that could help either of us, Sue however had an answer for that too.

“So now you are going to fault your father for being male. Because any man of worth is going to be concerned about the people he cares about. You know that it is a male’s natural inclination to want to step in and try to fix something that he sees as being wrong or unsafe especially when it concerns his child.”

We were both quiet for a moment before Sue went on, “I love you like my own daughter
Bella, that will never change, but in reality you only have one parent and he loves you more than I ever could. All he wants is to know from your own mouth that you are happy, healthy, and safe. You refusing to let your father be a part of what is happening in your life is cruel and hurtful. Put yourself in his shoes and you think about that.”

The shuffling of feet and murmured voice caused us to stop talking as Edward and my dad walked towards us. I wasn’t sure when Edward had made his exit to allow Sue and
I some privacy, however the look on his face told me that he caught some of our conversation. Sue gave me a hug saying she would call to make final arrangements for the shower, while Edward shook Charlie’s hand.

When I hugged my father goodbye he said that he would see me in two weeks like it was a long time away. Looking up into his face there was a longing there and I knew that Sue was right; he deserves to know what is happening in my life, “Do you want me to call you after the private investigator leaves?”

“I would appreciate that Bells,” I nodded because that was a start and something I could give him.

“I love you daddy,” I told him with another hug, “love you too kid-o.”

As Edward held the door open for me to get in Charlie called out for me to buckle my seatbelt and before we pulled out of the parking lot Edward rolled down his window to say goodbye one more time while Charlie reminded him not to drive too fast because Oregon wasn’t going anywhere. Before turning out of the parking lot Edward glanced over at me, before he could say anything I spoke up. “Ready to blow this joint?”

He chuckled, “I am if you are.”

“Let’s go.”

I thought that we would have headed towards Port Angles then south on the 5; instead Edward took the 101 back towards LaPush telling me that this was the quickest route. Passing the welcome sign for the reservation my mind thought about all that had happened this weekend. It was filled with revelations starting when we first arrived and Leah’s misconceptions about my relationship with Edward. I had thought that most of her concerns had been laid to rest, so I was ticked off that she had confronted Edward with the same fears. My first instinct was to remind my sister that she should mind her own business. Edward reminded me that the only way Leah was ever going to fully accept my choices were with time and understanding. She was going to have to see firsthand that our relationship was the same as everyone else’s, just with a kick added in for spice. By her own admission, that was the part of our relationship she didn’t want to know about. Edward was sure that it was her preconceived notions that caused the worry and he didn’t mind in the least as he told me.

‘Bella if all it takes to ease your sister’s mind is to answer basic questions then I have no problems with that. I have nothing to hide from her or anyone else. The last thing I want for you is to be placed in a position where you have to choose between your family and me. So if it helps her to accept your choices and the fullness of our relationship, then so be it. I can’t fault her for being worried about you and you shouldn’t be angry with her because she is.”

Did I say lately how much I loved him?

The whole episode with James was completely messed up. As I thought about it, replaying the moment I slapped him in my mind, I don’t know who was shocked more, me or him. Had he not grabbed me and called me a cunt - which is the most demoralizing word - I would have walked away, left Casey’s without any incident and headed back to LaPush. Instead the whole episode snowballed into my own little panic attack resulting in a spanking – which a day later still left my buns with a delicious tingle.

Edward must have seen me shifting around because he chuckled, “What’s the matter love?”

“You know,” I told him with a sideward glance as my face heated up even more than before making him grin wickedly.

“No, why don’t you tell me. Or better yet show me.”

I tisked crossing my arms over my chest in defiance, “I can’t show you we’re driving and it’s illegal to remove my seatbelt.”

It sounded like a good excuse but I knew if Edward really wanted to see my butt he would pull over – he’s done it before. Instead he chuckled again, “Well perhaps when we stop for lunch.”

I rolled my eyes at him earning myself a pointed look of disapproval as my mind went back to what Maggie had said. “Edward, what do you think James is doing with six hundred dollars every month?”

He sighed, “I honestly don’t know Bella, it could be anything.” Edward’s hand moved to take ahold of mine giving it a reassuring squeeze as he spoke the words I needed to hear. “Baby we have four days left before we have to go back to the reality of everything that’s happening. So I say let Weiss earn his fee by doing the job we hired him to do and you and I enjoy the rest of our time together without worrying about it.”

When I nodded in agreement Edward brought my hand up to his face pressing his lips against the back of my wrist. “Good. I had a very nice weekend by the way.”

“You did?” I asked skeptically as more of the events from the past three days went through my mind while our entwined hands rested on the console.

“Yes, I did. I enjoyed meeting all your friend and family. They were all a lot of fun.”

He was right about that, even when I didn’t want to be in Forks, everyone always made it a pleasant trip. I thought about some of what was said last night at the beach and back at the house, remembering that Paul wasn’t there. “I wonder what happened to Paul last night?”

Edward groaned, “Ohhh… he was rather drunk and I think Rachel took him home before Jacob lost his temper.”

Why would Jake lose his temper?

As I thought about it I already knew the answer, “Paul was acting like his usual asshole self?”

Edward nodded but there was something else there that I knew was bothering him. The thought crossed my mind that in Paul’s inebriated state he might have been offensive. “What was he saying?”

As I listened to Edward’s recollections of Paul’s comments I was getting mad myself, the shocking part was Edward telling me that after Jake walked away Jared was the one who told him that everything Paul said was bullshit. From the way his eyes shifted between the road and me I wasn’t sure that Edward completely believed that. “You know that Jake and I never…”

“I know,” Edward said the words with conviction so I knew that he believed me yet there sounded like there was still something that bothered him so I asked, “but?”

“But…” he sighed “…there is a bond between you two that transcends childhood friendship.”

“That’s because he’s my oji-chaag- giiz-is, my spirit of the sun- and I’m his,” looking down at my forefinger the cut was long since healed yet the meaning was still there. My eyes filled with tears as at the thought of my best friend and all that we have meant to each other. Edward sat quietly for a second before he asked what he really wanted to know, “What exactly does that mean Isabella? Your spirit of the sun.”

Taking a deep breath I thought how best to describe what I was talking about to someone who had no idea of native legends. I thought the best way would be to start from the beginning. “My mother died when I was eight years old in a car accident in the month of May. The following year when Jake was eight, his mother died in a car accident in the month of May.”

“Is that when Billy became paralyzed?”

“Yes. Anyway Jake never cried or showed any emotion until he was with me. I don’t know if it was because I had gone through the same thing, or if even as children we knew that fate had bonded us together. It is said that your oji-chaag-giiz-is, is the friend who warms your heart allowing you to feel safe in your emotions because they have experienced the same ones. We didn’t know that as children- we just knew that when we were together each of us was happier, so we spent a lot of time together.”

“Slept in the same bed,” Edward didn’t ask and there was no accusation surrounding his statement yet I answered.

“Yes, until I was around fourteen and Billy put a stop to it saying we were too old, but there was never anything sexual. There was intimacy in that we comforted each other, much the same way a security blanket comforts an infant. We would lie in bed holding hands telling all our secrets, he was my best friend.”

“So where does the boob touching come in at?”

I giggled, “who told you that?”

Edward shrugged, “Paul in his drunken state might have mentioned something.”

I squeezed his hand while I giggled some more as the memory came back, “That was right around the time Billy said we were too old to sleep in the same bed. One morning I woke up and Jake had his arm around me with his hand cupping my boob. I was so embarrassed because I was just getting used to having them and he was embarrassed because he did it in his sleep. Anyway, we started sleeping head-to-toe.”

I could see that Edward didn’t know what I was talking about, “You know, his head was at the top of the bed, mind was at the bottom. But Billy said that didn’t matter because our other more important parts were still together.” Laughing I explained, “I think Billy’s statement embarrassed us more than an unconscious grope.” I sighed, “Billy was right, we were too old and Leah used to hate that Jake and I were so close. She wanted to be to him what I was…”

Edward narrowed his eyes shifting his gaze to me quickly before looking back at the
road, “how did Leah come to terms with that, because it doesn’t seem to bother her at all?”

“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her,” looking at the intense expression on his face I wondered, “Does it bother you?”

The fact that Edward didn’t immediately deny my question began to worry me, “Not totally because I can see the relationship as being one of platonic friendship yet I still wonder if Jacob is your oji-cha…” giving up on the pronunciation Edward stuck with English, “…your spirit of the sun, who warms your heart. What does that make me, where am I going to fit into your life?”

I couldn’t help but stare, cool, suave, sex-on-a-stick Edward Cullen has a bit of insecurity in him. I could have laughed at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Here is a man who has had countless number of women, all of which are still bidding their time waiting for him to grow tired of me. Women who I have to deal with on a regular basis and are in no way shy of letting me know their desire to take my position. Yet as I thought about it, each time my own insecurities would rear their ugly head Edward always took the time to make me understand his feelings for me and he deserved the same thing.

Squeezing his hand I told him exactly what he was to me, letting there be no doubt in his mind. “Edward you are injichaag, my spirit, my soul mate, the one who completes me and makes me all that I can be. There is no one above you, because without my spirit- I would cease to be.”

His features softened as if a weight had been lifted; leaning over as much as possible I was able to kiss his cheek, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” He chuckled shaking his head as his face got a pink glow to it.

“You’re even cuter when you blush,” I said with a giggle running one finger down the length of his jaw.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Sitting back in the seat I couldn’t help but giggle at him. “So what pact did the two of you make?”

Trying to think how Edward knew about that, I was quiet while he explained in a sheepish voice that sounded almost guilty. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop while you were talking. I came looking for you this morning and then when you were on the porch talking I didn’t want to interrupt, but I couldn’t stop listening either.”

Oh

“You could have joined us.”

He shrugged like it didn’t bother him but I could tell he really wanted to know. Holding my hands out I traced the spot on my right forefinger where it had been cut all those years ago. “The summer after Jake’s mom died…this is going to sound really cliché but we became blood brothers. Slicing our fingers and promising that no matter what we would always be there for each other. We vowed to one another that no one or nothing would get in the way of our friendship.”

“Hmmm…” he hummed, “…then I’m really glad that we get along”

“Me too.” From the very beginning, Jake had always been a point of contention with James. Looking back, that should have set off some warnings in me, I was just too naïve to see it and I took the possessiveness in James as a sign of his love. Thinking that he cared so much about me that he wanted me all to himself, that’s not love that’s manipulation and a way of isolating someone to gain complete control.

“And what would have happened if he Jacob Black didn’t like me?”

“What’s not to like?” I offered in an answer because I couldn’t see anything about Edward that Jake would have disapproved of. “That’s like trying to rationalize a positive. Your girl choose wisely Master.”

He laughed, “Did she now?”

“Yes she did.” The smugness in my voice gained me a grin. “I thought it was I who chose you.”

“This one thinks it was destiny and that our choices were written for us,” it seemed philosophical yet I believed that for whatever reason Edward and I were meant to be.

“Perhaps your right nâhtötse,” I beamed at Edward’s word – my pet.

“How many words did Jake teach you?”

Edward chuckled once again, giving me a sly gaze, “I guess you are just going to have find out.”

I rolled my eyes in mock irritation yet I was practically giddy that he would take such an interest in my life as to learn words and phrases to a language that means so much to me. We drove for another hour talking about some of what happened over the weekend as well as going over the pronunciation of a few more words. Just before reaching the Oregon boarder the GPS said we had another two hours of driving time. After a short discussion Edward pulled into the rest stop so we could eat the lunch that Sue packed.

Before opening my door, he got the cooler out of the back seat while I reached back to get the small blanket that was folded up. The day was sunny with a warm breeze blowing, it was perfect for a picnic lunch. Opening the cooler I wasn’t surprised to see everything that we needed, plates, silverware, napkins, Sue had thought of everything. The food consisted of leftovers from the potluck the night before. Fresh ham and turkey with rolls, potato salad, chips and fresh fruit salad, and two pieces of wet bottom pie, she had even included a small container of mayonnaise and mustard packets. The only thing missing was drinks which Edward bought from the vending machine while I set out the food.

“Wow! Remind me to thank Sue for this,” Edward commented handing me a Diet Coke, “I was thinking fast food, so this is a hundred times better”

I nodded pulling open the bag of chips, “Whenever we went on a road trip Sue packed lunches, she always said it was better for us and didn’t cost anything.”

We sat under the tree eating our lunch and talking about nothing of importance. Edward hadn’t heard from his family so he didn’t know if there were any plans made for dinner but I should assume that there was. After eating I started to gather up the garbage and replace the leftovers in the cooler, I wanted to use the bathroom before we got back in the car. Edward’s leather seats were comfortable however sitting in one position for so long was causing a small cramp in my neck. With my hands flat on the ground behind me, I leaned into them stretching out my back while rotating my neck.

“Are you stiff?” Edward asked in concern watching me as he relaxed on his side perched on one elbow.

“Just a little, I’ll be alright.”

He sat up twirling his finger in a circle, “Turn around.”

As I complied he moved to sit closer to me, gathering all my hair to hang over my left shoulder. I could feel the heat from his body before his hands ever touched my skin. Edward massaged the muscles in the back of my neck then his fingers moved under the silver of my collar to work their way across my shoulder then back again. As he hit the spot where the tension seemed to radiate from I sucked air in through my teeth and a moan escaped my throat.

“There?” my head nodded, ‘mh hm’

I sighed feeling the muscles loosen. Edward kissed the back of my neck and then I believe he kissed the closure on my collar before speaking against my ear. “Isabella do you have a shirt that buttons down the front packed in your bags?”

I did have one- it was white – nodding I was admonished, “Answer please.”

“Yes sir.”

“Good girl. Before using the restroom you are to get that shirt and a skirt out of your bag and change before coming back to the car.”

“Why?” As soon as the word left my mouth I knew it was the wrong thing to say. My mind wasn’t completely prepared for sub mode and between the magical fingers and his breath against my skin I wasn’t thinking very straight. Edward quickly brought me to reality.

“Since when do you get to ask why Isabella?” The harshness of his tone was enough to make my stomach clinch and my panties soaked.

Keeping my mouth shut because he hadn’t told me I could answer Edward tilted my chin with his finger tip placing a soft kiss on my lips, “Do as I say nâh-töt-se.”

I felt like a puddle of goo, my body craving his touch more than it ever had, yearning to be in that special place and time where my Master had complete control. I could feel the warmth of my blood rushing through my veins as lust took over. It didn’t matter why, I would do it. Hell, I was so far gone that just his words filled me with enough desire that he could have fucked me then and there on the grass and I wouldn’t have cared.

“Ah usdi-Way-th,” my eyes shot to his as he called me little one.

How many fucking words did he learn?

I didn’t get a chance to dwell on his astute grasp of the native language because he was running his nose along the length of my jaw blowing his warm breath against my neck. The shivers that his actions were sending through me were unbearable and I had to bite my lip to keep from whimpering. As his lips kissed a path behind my ear and down my neck the sound that I had been holding in escaped me. I couldn’t help it; he was a Master at seduction playing my body like a composer plays a piano. Drawing out every note and tone from me for his own satisfaction and this time was no different.

“Perhaps we will need something to keep you quiet,” the casual reference of a gag didn’t help to quench my excitement; in fact it had the opposite effect. I was eager to take the next step and just the thought filled my panties with more wetness.

“Come on,” he stood holding out his hands to help me to my feet. I picked up the cooler and the small pile if garbage placing it in the trash receptor while Edward folded the blanket and we walked back to the car. Popping the trunk open he took the cooler from me putting it along with the blanket in the backseat, while I went to get the clothing he wanted me to change into. The realization that my bag was on top for easy access was not lost on me and I wondered if he had planned this the whole time.

Edward joined me at the back of the car unzipping the black tote to take out a deep purple velvet bag. After I had my clothing along with a pair of strappy sandals (because I couldn’t wear sneakers with a skirt) he handed me the small bag as he shut the trunk. “No panties, and I’m sure you’re wet enough that you won’t have any problem inserting this.”