Chapter 74

EPOV

I didn’t want to wake up, it was our last full day of vacation and I was leaning towards Bella’s suggestion of running away to the Mexico for the next month.  There was too much waiting for us at home and I wondered how we were going to sift through everything. Plus there was lesson that Bella needed to learn and I was going to have to teach it to her. It might have been better to go back to sleep however my mind kept bringing back the events of the previous night. 

Bella had told me about the plans to meet at my parents for drinks and snacks after having dinner at Leah’s. That was enough information because I was sure that following the long drive home I would have rather just stayed in. Dinner was one thing, after being away Bella should spend time with her family, besides they had kept Seth for us and eating there would be a polite gesture along with saving us the hassle of cooking.

The thought of going to my parent’s wasn’t as appealing.  Even though I hadn’t seen Marcus and Didyme since Thanksgiving and I enjoyed their company, it would make for a long day. There was no way that we could back out of it and I was just glad mom was hosting the get-together at the apartment in the city rather than at the house on the Island.

The thing that threw me for a loop was the conversation Bella had with Jane. The main fear I had when granting permission for them to speak together seemed to be coming to fruition. My submissive was seeking the advice of her mentor rather than addressing her concerns to me.

I will admit to reprimanding Bella for the insufferable whining when she inquired as to ‘Why’ I gave her the task of setting goals. However after that was over and she had relaxed I opened up the line of communication so that she could ask me anything that needed to be clarified. We could have sat there all day getting to the heart of the issue however Bella assured me that she understood and had no questions for me.

Thinking that was the end of it or if something else would surface Bella would bring her difficulties to me. So when I was told that she asked Jane her opinion on the subject I was rather upset. My first inclination was that Bella had wanted to get Jane’s judgment on the matter, as if my Aunt was granting credibility to my decisions. That was something I wasn’t going to allow and was happy for a brief moment when Bella assured me that wasn’t the case. Her defense was that she wanted direction.

Direction with what?

The only thing I could think of was that Bella had asked for help in choosing the goals themselves. That was not part of the exercise, if it was I would have chosen for her not someone else. Even though she swore that wasn’t what happened I couldn’t help but be offended. 

She should have come to me

Her reasoning for not doing so only fueled the insult.

Because I yelled at her.

I didn’t yell at her

The interpretation of the events created a misunderstanding, which was either a miscommunication or a mental breakdown between the sexes. Where I had thought the issue had been resolved in all actually it was lying dormant in Bella’s anxiety. She didn’t bring her quandaries to me for fear of being yelled at. I didn’t know what to do in order to ease the fear of me, or rather my reactions to her. I did not at any time raise my voice or lose control of my temper, yet I refuse to be spineless.  I could not and would not ever allow Bella to get away with behaving like a spoiled brat who moped, whined and bitched her way out of doing something.

That wasn’t going to happen

If anything Isabella was going to became even more aware of her reactions, the upcoming weekend was going to be spent working on that horrible habit she has of sighing. It wasn’t going to be an easy lesson and I had an idea already planned on how to approach it. However after reading what Bella wrote in her journal, the brutally honest words lead me to rethink my course of action. The nasty habit was still going to be addressed just in a different manner then I had planned. And I had to admit that I felt like an arrogant bastard for even considering the original strategy.

How many times had she cried out during her sleep ‘don’t leave me’ or said how she would beg her mother to stay with her only to be left behind. Bella stated from the very beginning that anyone who professed to care, deserted her for something more important. One of her biggest fears is that I would do the same thing and there I was contemplating using those insecurities as a means of discipline.

Lying in bed holding the most important person in my life I thought back to the words Emmett told me the first night I mentioned accepting Bella’s submission.

‘Make sure you know her fears. Then stay away from them. You can’t do it. She will freak out, and you’ll lose all trust. Constantly reassure her, but don’t be a fucking pussy either. She needs what you have man, don’t treat her with kid gloves. If you do, she won’t grow, and she will end up resenting you.’ (((Chap 7)))

At the time I was sure that I had a firm grasp on what Emmett was talking about. However it was becoming clear to me that there is a fine line between perception and performance and I had almost made a grave mistake.

It was bad enough that I left her alone in the bedroom to stumble through her own grief and feelings of abandonment while I wallowed on the balcony in my own self-perceived inadequacies. That wasn’t fair to her and had I just followed my own expectations of open communication the whole damn thing could have been avoided. Blaming the situation on someone else or the surrounding circumstances would have been an easy out. However the fault rest solely on my shoulders and I’m man enough to own up and accept the responsibility.

The whole evening with all its fucked up emotions should never have happened or at the very least shouldn’t have been dragged out as long as it was. Rather than drive with my parents I should have insisted on taking our own car so we could talk it out. Instead the longer it was left unsettled the more aggravated I became.  To the point where while we sat playing a game with my family I was beginning to doubt my ability to continue Isabella’s training.

At the time I was going on the only information I had and all I could think of was, if Bella worried about coming to me with something so simple how in the world could she trust me once I really started to push her? Of course that line of thinking changed once the whole truth came out and I realized that there was more to the situation then met the eye.

By the time we had gotten back to the room I had worked myself into such a funk that I was beyond frustrated. The only thing I wanted to do was read whatever the hell Bella was going to write in hopes that I could gain some understanding of what was going on in her mind. I needed to know exactly what I had done or what I should have done differently. Looking back at the situation I had been abrupt in my departure, leaving her alone in the bedroom to write. But by that time there was so much uncertainty in my own mind that I was afraid if I stayed my temper would have gotten the better of me making the whole situation worse. 

While I sat on the balcony waiting for Bella to finish her writing the anxiety began to set in and I had to fight with myself to not go into the bedroom and demand the answers that I needed.  The first glass of wine went down smoothly, half way through the second one I was to the point where it was getting harder to wait. All I could dwell on was Bella’s inability or unwillingness to come to me with her concerns. As it was the best sound I had heard all night was the screen door leading out to the balcony sliding open. 

Her footsteps were tentative as well as the hand she placed on my shoulder.

“Are you ok?” Something in the contact sooth me to the point of unshed tears, I loved her with a depth that I couldn’t comprehend. Perhaps it was the fate that Bella is always taking about or maybe we are what she called soul mates all I knew was that at that moment her soft touch made me whole.

My head leaned in to her hand letting my cheek rest against her wrist “I am now nâhtötse”

“Are you angry with me?”  Her voice was soft as her fingers threaded through the hair on the back of my head.

Taking a hold of the hand on my shoulder I tugged her in front of me until I could grip her hips. Pulling on  them, she straddled my thighs with her knees on the cushion and resting her bottom on my lap. “I’m never mad at you Bella”

Using both hands I tucked her hair behind her ears noticing the puffy redness around her eyes “a little irritated, bewildered and frustrated”

“You forgot annoyed and incensed” the sadness of her voice reflected off her face from the light coming over my shoulders through the patio door.

“No baby, if I am those things it’s with myself, not you”

“Why?”

Staring into her troubled eyes I told her all that I had been thinking, my worries about her association with Jane, our confusions with her version of being yelled at and my lack of understanding why she wouldn’t have come to me for advice.  Bella listened to me with an apprehensive expression as she bit on the corner of her bottom lip. Once I was done my hand slid down the length of her hair, stopping at the ends to twirl it around my fingers.

“I’m just trying to figure out what I did that made you afraid to come to me”

“I’m not afraid of you” Bella had said those words before yet her actions clearly said differently. “Edward I didn’t ask Jane’s advice to undermined you. I would never do that and I don’t think she would ever put herself in that position.” Taking a deep breath her eyes grew wide “Aro would punish her good for doing that”

Bella had a point there; I could only imagine the punishment Jane would get for interfering. My mind thought back to the day after the Jessica fiasco when we were sitting at Jane’s desk reconciling the alcohol inventory. She was about to give her opinion to me on something having to do with Bella when Aro overheard. Stopping her immediately it was clear that he was not happy and I was sure that when he was done with her, Jane wasn’t happy either.

So Bella was correct I highly doubted that my Aunt would do or say anything to intrude. 

“I would have asked you…” she stopped giving me a wistful look “…but in all honesty I didn’t even know what I was asking for.”

What the hell did that mean?

My face must have shown the confusion as she sighed – that fucking sigh – “I told you that all I wanted was direction because you said ‘anything’ and that’s a very broad spectrum. So I thought that maybe Jane could help me to comprehend if you meant my submission or life in general”

Yeah there it was

“That was something you should have asked me Bella” My tone was more forceful then it should have been but I needed her to understand how important it was to come to me. However I was completely humbled by her next statement.

“That’s what Jane said and I was going to ask you after I followed her advice and compartmentalized my options.”

“What do you mean…compartmentalize?”

“Jane suggested that I divide my life up into different aspects. Not just not just work, home and D/s but every aspect of my life. She said that if I thought about it and broke it down there should be at least ten different categories, then under each heading start filling in goals, both long and short term.”

I honestly didn’t know what she meant so I was glad Bella elaborated “You know like under the heading ‘Household’ I would write ‘learn how to make baklava and learn about environmentally friendly cleaning products and use them. Then under ‘Family’ I would like to host a monthly dinner, under ‘Career’ maybe think about getting a doctorate…” she gave me a knowing look “of course that would be long term but you get the idea.”

I did, and I wondered “Did you come up with ten headings?”

Bella smiled “With possibilities I have thirteen”

“Possibilities?”

Bella nodded at my inquiry as she explained “Jane said that she always includes that heading it’s where she list all the probably never going to happen but wouldn’t it be cool if it did stuff. Like to me I think it would be exciting to spend a winter in Skagway Alaska, snowed in with no TV and you need a generator for electric.”

Ok that was shocking and I couldn’t even think of a reply because there was no fucking way I would spend a winter in Alaska under a hundred and fifty feet of snow. However I did understand the concept of what Bella was talking about.

“Anyway, with dissecting my life and setting goals for myself under each section, Jane said it might be easier to see what was important to me and also what I could accomplish in the time frame that you set. Like I said, it never would have occurred to me to do something like that or seen how my wanting to learn about aromatherapy would have anything to do with my submission to you.”

Looking into her eyes I tried to make Bella understand “Everything you do, from what you eat to any skill you learn can be used to enhance your service. To you it might seem like only making a delicious dessert to serve company, yet that shows pride in yourself and courtesy to our guest. Don’t forget Isabella every action you make, good or bad, reflects back to me. So you learning a new skill or getting rid of an annoying habit has everything to do with your submission.” 

“Jane said something like that” With that statement I was beginning to wonder who was doing Bella’s training me or my aunt. 

“Isabella it’s not Jane’s place to explain my motives to you” even though the narrowed eyes I got were irritating I needed to remember that I was openly talking to my girlfriend as I pressed on “Aro has his motives and I have mine, the same task could be handed out for two completely different reasons. In fact I’m going to go one step further and say that the same Dominant can hand out the same task for with two entirely different objectives. That’s why it is not your place to question my motives or try to figure them out by asking someone else.”

“I didn’t ask Jane that and she didn’t tell me why you had me set goals or what you would do with the list I was making. How could she do that when you’re right she wouldn’t know your motives any better than I did?  I assume that she could have guessed but she didn’t. What Jane did tell me was what I would get out of setting goals for myself. How by keeping a running list it gives me an idea of what I’ve accomplished along with showing you what direction I’m heading in so if need be, you could make adjustments.”

She was right about that and given time I would have required her to start such a list. Basically Jane had taken Bella a step further then I was ready for her to go. At the time I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about that and decided to give myself time to think about it. However there was one question that was eating at me and I wanted an answer to. “So once you had your categories and a few things under each heading were you planning to call Jane again to take the next step?”

“What next step?”

The innocence of her tone brought out my sarcasm “Deciding which goals to set”

Shaking her head I was told “No. The plan was to wait until I was before my Master then ask his direction in making the selections of the goals he asked of his submissive”

“And who’s plan was that Isabella?”

“What do you mean?”

I could feel the muscles in my face strain as I tried to keep myself calm “Did Jane advise you to seek my guidance or did you decide that on your own?” 

Bella’s voice was soft as once again her eyes drifted downward “Master, Jane suggested…”

Not needing to hear anymore I interrupted “Isabella look at me” once I had her attention I went on, “Let’s make one thing very clear, Jane is not my submissive nor is she your Master. I allowed you to speak openly with her so that you would have a support system. That is what she is for, support, not a substitute Dom. When you have a question about a task or an activity that I’ve required of you, the only person you should be seeking the answer from is me. If it took all afternoon we would have sat together and figured out what you needed. I told you the goals could have been anything…”

Bella interrupted me with an exasperated tone “Anything pertaining to what aspect of my life?” at my narrowed eyes she calmed herself as she once again tried to justify her actions. “That was the only question your girl wanted to clarify. It made no difference to her why you had requested her to do it, the only thing that mattered was that she did it correctly. She thought that by solving it on her own you would be…I didn’t want to bother you with something that seemed so trivial.”

Staring into Bella’s deep brown eyes I could see the truth behind what she was saying. Her whole life was lived in obscurity and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen any longer. Holding her cheeks securely between my hands I spoke as forcibly as I could “Isabella nothing, absolutely nothing is more important to me then you are. You are never a bother to me – ever. I would change any plans, drop any appointment or desert any function to make sure that you are properly and amply taken care of. There is no such thing as trivial where you are concerned. Do I make myself clear nâhtötse?”

With my hands still holding her cheeks her nod was awkward “Answer please”

“Yes Sir” at her words my hands released her face as Bella blinked back tears while I made my second argument known. “I understand you wanted to fulfill the task correctly but don’t you think that the best way to achieve that would have been to bring your questions to me?” At her silence I used an analogy she could relate with. “Bella, you’re an educator who hands out assignments all the time. What would you say to one of your students who went to another Psychology professor to ask them a question on a project you dispensed?” while she thought about that I asked “and how would that make you feel if they did?”

“I would feel inadequate” raising one eyebrow I nodded and watched Bella’s face morph into sadness before she added “I’m sorry, I should have sought your help from the very beginning rather than coming to you afterwards”

“Yes you should have and next time…”

“I won’t think twice about coming to you”

The conviction in her words gave me hope that she would follow through but given Bella’s nature something told me that we would be revisiting the matter again. I truly didn’t want to forbid Bella from access to my aunt, even for a short period of time. I still believed that Jane would be a great benefit to her; however as with any tool a mentor has a purpose and sometimes it is hard to not overstep that. I’m also very sure that Jane was only trying to help and in all honesty I personally wouldn’t have known to have Bella dissect her life into categories.  That idea could only come with the almost thirty years of experience Jane has.

Picking up the glass of wine I took a sip before handing it to Bella when she asked for a drink. Setting the glass back down Bella wiggled her butt against my legs. Not sure if she was trying to get comfortable or trying to get something started I brought up the last of the things that had been plaguing my mind.

“So this list that you wanted to show me tomorrow…” realizing it was after midnight I adjusted my wording “tonight, you were going to do that even though I had previously yelled at you?”

Bella’s eyes dropped “I shouldn’t have said that…” using my thumb I touched her chin making her look at me. “Now continue”

With a small sigh she went on “I know that you didn’t yell at me and I was being chastised not for asking but because of the attitude I gave you. When I brought that up earlier it was because you had asked me why I hadn’t just come to you. For all the reasons we just talked about I didn’t, and in all honesty I wanted to wait until I had a real understanding of what I was doing before I showed it to you. When you asked me why I didn’t come to you first …” Bella’s voice became so soft I could barely hear the next part “I’m ashamed to say it but, you didn’t answer me when I asked you why and…”

“And by not answering my question of why, you thought you’d give me a taste of my own medicine”

And there it was

Bella’s eyes dropped as she started chewing on her bottom lip. Grasping her chin firmly to get her attention I wondered “How did that work out for you?”

“Not good and I want you to know that it wasn’t a conscious decision on my part. I hadn’t even realized that I was thinking that until it came out while I was journaling. That was when I grasped my snarky attitude was plain old vindictiveness.”

The clear sadness in her voice told me what she was saying was the truth. Besides, had it been a conscious decision the remorse Bella was dealing with would have been preceded throughout the evening with some kind of gratification. Even if it was only for a short period of time, at some point my obvious frustration would have resulted in her feeling vindicated.  That was in no way the case, all night Bella seemed as despondent as I felt. That did not in any way negate the fact that the situation existed in the first place. It didn’t matter if she set out to be purposely malicious or if she just took advantage of the situation, there was no justification for her actions.

Tilting my head back I closed my eyes as I pulled Bella closer to my body. She snuggled her chest against mine while her head rested on my shoulder as my hand moved soothingly down the length of her back.  Enjoying the feel of her relaxing into me, my thoughts went back to when the whole mess had started.  The vagueness of her answers, the childish excuses and then deflecting blame on me. Mindful of her actions or not, Bella was being a manipulative female. It was a trait that is to be avoided at all cost.

I would shoulder some of the blame for allowing her to drag it out rather than forcing her to answer all my questions as she is suppose too. Sitting there on the balcony holding a yawning Bella against my chest I contemplated what to do about it. My first instinct was to take her inside and flog it out of her so that the next time I ask a question the answer would immediately follow. That would be a sure fire way to bar any chances of her attempts at control. Since that was an impossibility, I was going to have to come up with something else.

Bella yawn again making me follow “How about we put this awful night behind us and go to bed?”

Her head nodded against my neck as my arms tighten around her back for a second before she moved to look into my eyes “Edward…”

There was no need for her to say it “I know your sorry nâhtötse and so am I…” leaning forward I placed a soft kiss on her lips before finishing “…and we will be continuing this discussion when I have my submissive kneeling before me, not my girlfriend snuggled in my lap.”

Swallowing hard her eyes widened and I had to ask “Are you afraid?”

She answered much to quickly “No…” seeming to get her courage she spoke with conviction “Your girl knows her Master will be fair and she trust him”

Good answer

Wishing once again that I could take a flogger to her ass, I gave Bella a good swat making me chuckle at her yelp “Are you sure about that trust?”

 “Ah..Uh” She nodded rubbing her bottom while moving to stand.

Bella went into the bedroom while I locked the patio door and turned out the lights. When I joined her she had just finished brushing her teeth. Rinsing out her mouth with water her eyes watched me in the mirror. “You said when I was kneeling in front of you, is that going to be our usual Wednesday Night?”

At the hopefulness in Bella’s voice I smiled around the toothbrush and after spitting I answered “That was the plan”

“Modified?”

As I consideration the question my plan for teaching her a lesson began to formulate “No, I think a full mode, we’ll start earlier so that you are prepared when we go out with everyone else”

Bella looked slightly apprehensive but she nodded in assent before leaving me to finish in the bathroom. The idea of what I was going to do continued to evolve and if all went as planned Bella would never again try to manipulate the situation or me to her advantage. It might be a hard lesson, yet as my momma always said those are the kind that stick with you.

The covers on my side of the bed were turned down and Bella lay under them on her side. Stretching out between the soft sheets I turned out the small light on the nightstand taking notice of her journal sitting there waiting for me to read. That would have to be postponed because all I wanted to do was hold the woman I loved in my arms. As I lay down Bella shifted closer to rest her head on my shoulder and place a kiss on the skin of my chest.

“I can’t believe our vacation is almost over”

“I know I was thinking about that myself” I told her honestly

“I have an idea” the words were spoken against my skin as Bella placed more kisses up my neck making a soft moan escape me as my dick started to spring to life. “How about we go to the nearest airport, take the next plane to Mexico and disappear for a month”

“Mexico...uh?” I asked tilting her chin so I could reach her lips.

The kisses were soft as she spoke with a breathy voice “Yeah, some place tropical where no one knows us.”

My mouth moved along her jaw “What about Seth?”

“We can send for him”

I smiled against her neck before shifting my body weight to rest on one arm so I could look down at her. The room was dark, except for the dim light coming from the bathroom that allowed me to see the features of her face – she was beautiful.

Bella’s hands wrapped around the back of my neck pulling me to her for a kiss “Doesn’t that sound like good idea?”

It did sound appealing but we had responsibilities. Pulling my head back my eyes searched hers while my hand wondered down to the hem of the night shirt she was still wearing, “What about meeting my aunt and uncle?” her breathing became deeper as she answered “on our way home we could take a detour to Chicago” shaking her head she got that sweet innocent look that I find so appealing “I’ve never been to Chicago”

Smiling my hand glided inside her shirt over the skin along the outside of her thigh “What about meeting with Mr. Weiss, don’t you want to know what he found out?”

“We could conference call or Video chat?” her voice squeaked while my hand continued its journey over her hips.

“Hmmm…” I hummed letting my nose skim along the line of her jaw as my finger drew circles around her navel “What about the anniversary party, your work at the center and the contractors coming to start the bathroom?”

“Well…” her ability to think clearly was coming to an end “…we could make excuses”

“Sounds like you have it all figured out” I spoke quietly against her ear silently chuckling at the little shiver.

At her nod my hand moved up over her ribs and my thumb traced along the underside of her breast while making the last point “What about all of Forks coming next weekend for your sister’s baby shower, don’t you want to be there for that?”

“ohhh…” Bella moaned “I guess your right” she finally agreed as I let my thumb tease her nipple.

Bella’s hand moved down over the planes of my chest and stomach until she reached my waist.  Once she had popped open the snap on the front of my pajama pants her fingers followed the trail downward. The softness of her touch was almost excruciating as her nails grazed over my length of my dick. It felt so fucking good that I practically jumped out of my skin at the feel of her hand wrapping around me and giving a firm stroke.

Adjusting myself I used both my hands to slip her night shirt up, Bella released me and raised her arms while lifting her upper body off the bed so I could remove it. Looking down at her naked form bathed in the soft light being cast from the bathroom I couldn’t help but to admire her splendor.

“My God baby, you are breathtaking” 

She smiled at me while my hands moved along the sides of her body. Spreading her legs was the only invitation that I needed.

My pants were already hanging off my hips and I moved quickly to remove the only obstruction that was left. Bella bent her knees and I used my hip to separate her thighs, there was no need for guidance. It was as if my dick was like a smart missile and knew exactly how to hone in on its target was. There was no better feeling then being sheathed inside my Bella. The warm, wet, tightness felt so fucking good that I couldn’t help the groan that came out of me.

Bella let out her own whimper as the fullness of my weight laid on top of her and our mouths came together in a kiss. There was no reason to rush and I felt no need to possess her, all I wanted to do was make love.

That’s what we did, we loved each other with tender kisses that never seemed to end. Our soft moans and words of affection sounded like a symphony while our bodies brought each other pleasure.  I wanted the feeling of the gentle touches to last so I could savor the tingle that the contact of her skin caused. For that moment of time all there was in the world was just the two of us and that was all that mattered. It was as if we both needed to feel the bond that we shared and neither one of us were in a hurry for it to end.  Even after we had both reached our release there was no feeling of a need to separate, our bodies and mouths stayed as they had been – connected.

Chapter 73

BPOV

“Me?”

What the heck is Emmett talking about? He’s the one who said nooky. The day before when Edward was fooling around with his head inside shirt making me squirm from his nibbling on my ribs. Emmett caught us, announcing, ‘No nooky on the beach,’ Vinny echoed it and we all laughed knowing that the little parrot would repeat it.

Oh my god

Freaking Emmett, he said he was going to blame me. I wasn’t going to let him get away with that, “I did not…”

Emmett interrupted my declaration of innocence, “Don’t worry about it Bella, we all know how things slip out.”

I sat there with my mouth gaping open as Vinny tried to come to my defense. Shaking his head he continued looking at Emmett, “But Aunt Bella did…”

Emmett stopped him from finishing also, “We know aunt Bella didn’t mean it…” he was imploring the child to go along with his bullshit. Vinny narrowed his eyes and was going to say something but Emmett continued, “Just so you know little man that is not a nice word to say, and Aunt Bella should know better.”

Rose was snickering in the chair next to me while Edward – the traitor – chuckled under his breath. I figured I was on my own with this one, that was ok I could fight my own battles.

Everyone was staring at me – albeit with a smile on their faces; however that could have been from the two year old sitting on my lap dripping blue freeze pop all over my legs. Looking to Alice something she said came to mind, “Whatever happened to ‘he who names takes the blame?’”

Emmett tisked a few times before shaking his head in disapproval, “You shouldn’t try to pass off your mistakes with a childhood misnomer.”

Oh…the shit was getting deep

My protector finally did something to let me know that he was coming to my rescue. Giving me a sly smile Edward winked at me before turning to his brother, “I don’t know if that is such a good idea Emmett.”

“What?”

At Emmett’s question Edward pursed his lips shaking his head a cynical manner, “All I know is I wouldn’t do anything to aggravate the person who holds the tickets.”

My eyes narrowed as I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, it was apparent neither did Emmett, “What tickets?”

Emmett’s eyes shot to me scrutinizing me sitting there holding Mia, “What does she have some kind season tickets to the college psychology symposiums? Because I’m really not interested in hearing any Freudian theories, I got all the phallic envy I need,” his hand moved cupping his junk while everyone except Esme groaned.

She narrowed her eyes at her oldest son giving him a stern reproof, “Don’t be crass.”

Edward sighed heavily, “You’ll be singing a new tune the first Sunday you’re at home and spot us all on the big screen during the Seahawks game.”

That got Emmett’s attention as he eyed me suspiciously while Edward added “But I guess that’s your prerogative”

“Seahawks?” Jasper question looking to me, “Bella you have tickets?”

“Umm…” I wasn’t sure how to respond because the tickets were in my possession but they were Edward’s.

“She sure does,” Edward answered for me with a smug smile, “and I would venture to guess that it’s going to take a whole lot of groveling and sucking up before she lets you use them,” at the last part his attention was focused on his brother who was gaping at me with an open mouth.

“Wait…wait one minute. How much groveling are we talking about?” Wanting clarification Jasper rested his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward while he questioned Edward on the specifics. “I mean are we talking first level down on your knees begging or third level nose bleed ‘I’m sorry’s’ but please let me go to the game bowing?”

Carlisle tilted his head giving me a small smile, “How many games do you have tickets for Bella?”

Again I didn’t get to answer as Edward’s smile turned devious while he raised one eyebrow at his father, “All the games.” The other two men gasped-well Jasper gasped Emmett kind of whimpered. “Now I’ll leave it up to you dad, how much groveling do four season tickets in the VIP Booth deserve?”

“No fucking way!” Emmett jumped to his feet almost knocking little Vinny over as Esme and Alice both reprimanded him for cursing. He didn’t even hear them as he turned to stare down at me in disbelief, “You have…four tickets…in the VIP Booths?”

He was looking at me like I was a hot fudge sundae, with large wide eyes and (I think) drool was dripping down his chin. I was getting kind of nervous because I wasn’t sure what he was going to do to get his hands on those tickets so I was glad when Edward spoke taking Emmett’s attention away from me, “She does, I’ve seen them along with a VIP parking pass.”

Emmett swallowed hard while Edward questioned, “So dad, what kind of groveling do you think that deserves?”

Carlisle didn’t get to answer as Jasper spoke up, “I think that’s down on your knees, feet kissing while pleading undying devotion.”

Everyone else laughed as Emmett dropped to his knees, my first reaction was to pull my legs up with a stern warning, “Don’t you touch my feet.”

“Bella, sweet little Bella, so kind and wonderful, I swear…” bringing his hand over his heart, “I will never, ever again blame you for something I did…” twisting his upper body Emmett faced all the others, “…it was me, I said nooky.”

“And the red underwear comment?” Edward questioned as Emmett looked a little worried when Rose wondered, “What underwear comment?”

“It was a simple observation babe, Bella came out in teal cheekies and I said red would look better on her.” Turning back to me his face became apologetic, “But I shouldn’t have said that, because any color would look good on you.”

I couldn’t stop the giggle, “That’s not the point, you shouldn’t have said anything about my panties.”

“Well what was I supposed to do when you come traipsing out in front of us? I’m telling you girl you’re lucky they…” he thumbed over his shoulder, “…are doctors, or they would have said something too.”

“Why were you in your underwear?” Before the whole thing could get out of hand Edward clued Alice in on what happened. Throughout his re-telling I could hear Carlisle and Jasper pleading their virtuousness by saying that they had indeed turned their heads. Emmett however made no such claim as he continued to give me puppy dog eyes until he finally laid his head down on my knee, “Please Bella, forgive me, I knew not what I was doing.”

I pushed his head away with a giggle, “Get off me. Besides they’re not my tickets.”

That piece of information got his attention as his head shot up and he asked, “Who’s are they?” at the same time Edward questioned, “What do you mean?” and Jasper asked with a clear tone of disappointment, “You don’t have tickets?”

Three grown men were staring at me like little boys waiting for their mother to tell them their room was clean enough for them to go outside and play. Pulling Mia a little closer to my body I was hoping that the small sticky child might provide me some protection, because they wanted an answer. I decided to work my way backwards starting with Jasper, “Yes, I have the tickets,” as he relaxed I turned to Edward. “But they are not mine,” lastly I answered the man who was still kneeling on the floor in front of me. “They’re Edward’s.”

“Mine?”

Who did he think I got them for?

“Yeah…I wanted to give them to you for your Birthday, but since you were standing right there…”

“My birthday?” he sounded shocked.

Wasn’t it customary to get your boyfriend a birthday present?

“Did you change your mind? Don’t you want them?” At my questions Edward remained quiet while he just stared at me. So much time had passed that I was beginning to worry that I had done the wrong thing.

He didn’t want them

I wasn’t the only one who mistook the meaning of his quietness, Emmett glanced back at me, “If he doesn’t want them, can I have them?”

That seemed to bring Edward back to the land of the living, his voice was firm as he spoke to his brother, “No, you can’t have them,” as his gaze came back to me his features softened along with his tone. “I want them, it’s just…”

I let out a silent sigh of relief, it’s not like the tickets had cost me a lot of money it was more of the fact that I had asked Emery to do me a favor.

“Honey that’s…my god baby that’s…”Edward couldn’t seem to get the words out, “Bella those tickets are worth six hundred dollars…”

“A piece?”

Three voices answered in unison, “A game!” Carlisle was the one who completely enlightened me. “Each ticket, for each game is worth that much.”

I was stunned that tickets to a football game could cost so much. Edward seemed a little stunned himself. “You bought me something like fifteen thousand dollars worth of tickets…” he sounded astonished as he went on, “… and that’s not counting pre-season, UW college games, or possible post-season playoffs.”

“You paid all that money for football, and turned down Gucci because it was too expensive?” Shifting my gaze to Alice I defended myself, “I didn’t pay that much.”

“How much were they?”

“Edward you don’t ask how much a gift was?” Esme tried to give her a son an etiquette lesson, but it didn’t matter because I could tell by the look on his face he really wanted to know.

“Only a few hundred dollars processing fee.”

“How well do you know Sterla?” the tone in Emmett’s voice indicating something torrid had occurred.

I had no intention of answering such a preposterous accusation. The only person who had any right to that information was Edward and he already knew all about the relationship that I shared with the guys from the reservation.

Giving me a thoughtful expression Edward answered his brother, “He calls her sweet cheeks”

“Ohhhh…” Emmett groaned while from the corner of my eye I could see Jasper sit back in his chair and Rose snickered as her husband wondered, “I guess walking around in your underwear is an old habit, huh?”

Edward continued to hold my gaze as he declared, “Actually, she wasn’t wearing underwear.”

For a few seconds I forgot that everyone else was around us as I got lost in the perfection that is Edward’s face. I love when he takes on the dark no nonsense sternness of my Master. The look that leaves me no doubt who is in charge and makes my body quiver with anticipation. Next on my list of favorites is the look carefree playfulness that is like a contagious disease causing me to smile like a fool right along with him.

Yes, perfection

Breaking the trance I was in Edward asked humbly, “Those tickets are mine?”

I shrugged, “Happy Birthday.”

Edward leaned over to give me a quick kiss whispering a thank you as his mom let out an, “Awe” and Alice declared that he better remember that when it came time for my birthday, making me roll my eyes at her. The last thing I wanted Edward to do was spend a lot of money on me for gifts. I wasn’t lying when I told Emmett that it didn’t matter if the toe rings were cheap. I wasn’t accustomed to people buying me gifts and I certainly didn’t expect anything. I was more than happy with the simple gesture that told me while we were apart he had thought about me. That was worth more than anything else he could ever give me.

Emmett having decided that since I no longer had the leverage of the tickets to hold over him, he could get off his knees. He also announced that all bets were off making me fair game for as he said, ‘sibling rivalry.’ It didn’t matter to me because in all honesty I didn’t expect him to behave himself anyway, in fact I would have been rather disappointed if he had. Because even though I defended myself – as anyone would –the fact that he had felt comfortable enough to include me in the family repartee was rather heartwarming. The spirited action spoke volumes at his and everyone else’s acceptance of me. I was beginning to feel like I was truly a part of the family rather than being an interloper along for the ride.

Vinny went back into the pool; Mia had made herself and me a sticky mess so while Alice watched Vinny swimming I went with Rose and Esme into the bathroom to wash us off. While the two of them went into the stalls I set Mia down on the sink with her little feet inside the bowl. Turning on the water I turned to get some paper towels laughing as she splashed water all over the place with her feet. I had just finished washing her off and started on my legs when the girl who had followed Edward out of the bathroom earlier came in.

Ignoring her as she stood next to us washing her hands my attention was on Mia, turning off the water I worked on drying off her legs and feet. The girl was following my actions in the mirror and I wanted to ask her if she had something to say but I didn’t get a chance to as she turned to face me.

“He said he would meet me later.”

“Excuse me?” I asked looking around me to make sure that she was talking to me.

“Edward’s exact words were ‘once I can get away from the clingy bitch’ he would meet me down in the bar for a drink. You know if you’re so worried about him cheating that you can’t let him out of your sight I guess your relationship can’t be all that stable.”

I knew what she was saying was a lie, Edward would never say that about me. I also was smart enough to recognize a poor imitation of reverse psychology. She was hoping that either her first statement would cause a fight or in my attempt to not be overbearing, I would practically kick Edward out the door to go have ‘fun’ without me. Both of those scenarios would send Edward out where she would be waiting to try and get her clutches into him. I knew all that and yet I couldn’t stop the sick feeling in my stomach from occurring as I heard first one then the other toilet flush. Rose and Esme came out at the same time but it was Esme who spoke, “Bella take my grand-daughter out of here.”

One look at her face told me not to defy her; Rose quickly washed her hands following me out of the bathroom. We didn’t say anything until we got over to the pool where Alice had a little floating seat for Mia to sit in. Looking over our shoulders she wondered, “Where’s mom?”

“Momma bear is protecting her cubs,” Rose said while we walked down the stairs into the water. Alice narrowed her eyes but Rose glanced over at the guys sitting on the ledge with their feet in the water and whispered, “I’ll tell you later.”

Putting Mia in her seat the three of us pushed her back and forth in the water smiling at the glee in her laughter while I watched for Esme to come back. After a few minutes – that felt like an eternity – Rose nodded her chin murmuring, “skank on the run.”

The girl did not look happy at all as she went over to her friend, gathered her stuff together and left without even looking in our direction. I stood there staring while Rose laughed under her breath, “you got to love Esme.”

“What do you think she said to her?” I wondered while Alice seemed like she was going to burst as she came closer to us whispering, “What happened?”

We didn’t get to answer as Esme appeared at the pool, joining us she glanced over to see ‘skank two’ gathering her things to leave. Esme got a wicked grin on her face that reminded me of the one Edward sometimes gets. She gave me a warm smile while Rose asked, “What did you say to her?”

“I reminded her that there are two types of women in the world, those with dignity and decorum and those with vulgar immorality, and I assured her that she was of the second kind.”

At my giggle Alice was practically seething as her voice grew slightly above a whisper, “Would somebody please tell me what I missed?”

“Later,” Rose whispered again making Alice sigh in frustration.

My attention went to Esme, “I could have taken care of that.”

She smiled sadly, “I know you could have, but it was better and less dramatic coming from me. Besides I’ve had more practice dealing with …skanks,” she smiled while we giggled at her use of word, “lots of women have thought they could get their hooks into my husband and I had to assure them that they could not.”

“I can see that, Carlisle is really handsome,” Rose said.

Looking over at the man in question, I had to agree with her but didn’t say anything as Esme spoke her words of wisdom. “Yes he is, but men are simple creatures,” she said pushing Mia over to Alice, “that require very little work on our part to keep happy. It boils down to three simple needs.”

I was thinking love, trust and honesty those would be the three main things that any man would need. But I was about to hear words of wisdom from a woman who had been happily married longer than I had been alive proving that I was very wrong.

“There are exceptions, and for whatever reason some men can not commit to one woman, but for the most part the rule holds true. As long as they have clean clothes, hot food and a responsive body in their bed, they are happy. And once they always have those three things they will give their undying devotion to the woman who provides them with it.”

Yeah I was way wrong

“So you and Carlisle still?” I wasn’t going to ask but I was glad Rose did.

“Daily.”

“Ewww…I don’t want to know that,” Alice groaned while Rose and I giggled at the self-confident expression on Esme’s face. I also had to admit that I couldn’t blame her and I stood there in the water hoping in thirty years Edward and I would be the same way.

“See Bella? I told you we all like to be ravished,” Esme assured me then added conspiratorially, “and they need to ravish us.”

As Esme gave her last bit of advice Alice yelled, “Ok that’s it! Vincent it’s time to go get out! We have to ready for dinner.”

Glancing over at the clock I realized it was almost five-thirty, giving us an hour to get ready. Vinny made it clear that he wasn’t happy about having to get out but his mother wasn’t giving a choice. Jasper helped him out of the deep end wrapping a towel around his shoulders with a stern warning about his whining. Mia wasn’t any happier about having to get out of the water, crying as Alice removed her from the floater which Esme carried out of the water. Rose and I stood there listening to the two unhappy children and watching Alice struggle with a squirming child as she tried to remove her wet swimming diaper as inconspicuously as possible.

“Oh Jeez…I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” I giggled at Rose’s bleak expression as her hand cradled over her growing belly.

“You’ll be fine and even the crying will be worth it once little Roscoe comes”

“His name is not Roscoe,” Emmett called from behind me, “his name is Osborn.”

“Like Ozzy?” I asked glancing over my shoulder at Emmett and noticing Edward coming back over with two towels.

I guess it’s time to get out

“No…well yeah but that’s not why,” he tried to explain but Rose cut him off. “Emmett I am not naming my son Osborn so that he can grow up saying, “Oz-born on Tuesday, Oz-born of my mother, Oz-born in October.” Laughing at Rose I moved to get out of the pool, taking Edward’s hand and thanking him for the towel as he handed Rose the other one.

Emmett took the towel from Rose draping it over her shoulders, “Yeah about that babe – since thanks to Bella for Edward’s fuck awesome gift - there are football tickets involved, do you think maybe you could hold the little guy in until after the season?”

“What!” Rose spun around with a wicked glare as Edward and I laughed and Emmett tried to redeem himself, “No go?”

I knew he was kidding, Rose however was another story, “You listen to me Emmett Cullen, I am carrying your child at the expense of stretch marks, saggy boobs and not being able to hold my urine. I don’t care if it was the Super Bowl; your son is due October twenty-eighth. You. Will. Be. There.” saying each word through clenched lips before giving her final answer, “And if you think for one minute that you are going to be leaving me at home every Sunday with a newborn while you go off to a game, you better guess again. So I suggest that you get it all out of your system before then because, come the end of October you’re staying home with me and Roscoe.”

Rose stomped off leaving me standing there snickering along with Edward and I was surprised that Emmett chuckled along with us. “Told ya…hormones.”

Edward shook his head as he laughed, “You better watch it, she’s going to kick your ass.”

“Nah…she’s just all riled up. It makes for some good angry sex,” he smirked at us before going over to Rose who was gathering up their stuff.

Shaking my head of the images that had filtered through I looked up at Edward, “First your mom and now your brother.”

“What about my mom?” He questioned as we walked over to where everyone was getting packed up for the day.

“I’ll tell you later,” I whispered under my breath which for once seemed to satisfy him.

All of our stuff was still in the bag all I had to do was pull the white cover-up over my head, put on my flip flops and grab the towels. Edward put his T-shirt back on before picking up the tote bag and slinging it over his shoulder. Taking one last look around to make sure that nothing had been left behind we walked with everyone out to the elevators.

Rose still had a slight scowl on her face which in my estimation was making Emmett rather happy. We all squeezed into the same elevator talking about what time to meet back down in the lobby. Esme was adamant about leaving by six-thirty and as the ding sounded for our floor Rose smiled at her. “We’ll be there, because I don’t want to be on the receiving end of the momma bear.”

I giggled as Esme rolled her eyes and Alice once again wanted to know what happened in the bathroom. As we stepped off Carlisle was asking what Rose meant and as the doors closed we walked down the hallway to our rooms Rose giggled, “I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in that bathroom.”

“Why didn’t you stay?”

“Because Esme had that look like she was about to devour someone, so I got the hell out of there.”

Leaving them at their door we continued to our room. I hadn’t really had a chance to think about what Esme had done. Throughout all the years of growing up, the only person who I really had for any kind of protection was Charlie. After my mother died I always felt like the only reason he had me living with him was because he had no other choice. For that reason I had put up walls around myself not allowing him to be the defender that a father should have been. Never once did I ask for any comfort from him or allow myself to cry in front of him because I didn’t want Charlie to think that he had inherited a sniveling girl. In my young mind I took it upon myself to take on the attitude of ‘it’s me against the world’ and I was determined to keep it that way.

When I first came to Charlie I believe that he backed off with the idea that he should give me space to adjust. My mother had just died; I was taken away from the only stable family and home that I had known. Everything was different, the weather, friends, school, right down to the food we ate. I had been used to moms erratic cooking; throwing together what she called a ‘concoction.’ In reality it was some sort of casserole made from the leftovers in the fridge with melted cheese on top. Most of the time it turned out well and when it didn’t she would douse it with ketchup, so it would at least be edible.

For the most part Charlie lived on fish, something that up until moving to Washington, I had never eaten. He had no idea how to make a meatloaf or baked macaroni and cheese, all those comfort foods were lost along with my mother. Rather than complain I ate what was in front of me, bidding my time until I was old enough to take over cooking. Even then, at first Charlie doubted my ability but I was determined to show him that I was responsible enough to take on the duty, insisting that I was fully capable of doing it on my own. That assertiveness carried over into my adulthood to the point where even in my darkest hours I refused to allow Charlie the opportunity to help. Not wanting to be a liability, whenever Charlie would ask my standard answer was always, ‘I can handle it.’

Esme didn’t give me the chance to shut her down. She didn’t even ask or think twice about coming to my rescue and as Rose had said she was like a momma bear. Normally having someone else fight my battles would have made me feel weak but somehow it was different. There was no feeling of helplessness or inadequacy; in fact I would say that it was the opposite.

If I had to place a name on how I felt it would have been – Relief.

Relief that I was significant enough to someone that they would take up my cause and not feel like it was burden to do so. In fact it appeared to me, that Esme had gotten her own satisfaction out of what she did. She acted out if instinct to ‘protect her cub’ from the predator who was threating harm. For a moment I walked a little lighter at the thought of being her cub, and then I wondered how Charlie felt at being denied that opportunity.

My mind thought back to the other day when Edward and I left Forks. Sue had said that by my keeping things from Charlie, I was being selfish. I had always thought that my evasiveness of the events was in a sense being the momma bear and protecting my dad from all the horrible details. But I was beginning to wonder if I had a right to do that. Was I being fair to Charlie by denying him the opportunity of the satisfaction he would get from being a father who safeguarded his only child?

Edward’s voice broke through my thoughts, “Baby are you going to tell me what happened? Because this quiet is driving me insane.”

“What?” I had been so lost in my own mind that I was going on auto pilot, not even realizing that we were in our room.

“Sorry. I was just thinking about your mom and…Charlie.”

Edward stood there waiting for me to elaborate but I wasn’t completely sure what to say because I still hadn’t come to my own conclusions. Glancing over at the clock on the microwave I realized that we didn’t have much time. “We have to get ready.”

His eyes narrowed yet he didn’t say anything as he followed me into the bedroom, stopping short at seeing the bed with the evidence of my shopping trip. Not wanting to deal with all the bags I stepped out of my flip flops before going into the bathroom to start the water in the shower. When I turned around a shirtless Edward was standing right behind me making me jump.

“Are you alright?” I couldn’t tell if the question came from concern or amusement

“I’m fine,” I answered with a sigh, and then watched as his brow crinkled while he took a step towards me. Out of instinct my feet retreated in the other direction and a few steps more I could feel the coldness of the marble wall against my back as the warm water cascaded over top of me.

Two arms reached out, planting themselves against the wall on either side of my head imprisoning me, while dark green eyes bore into mine. Edward inclined his shoulders bringing his face to within inches of my own as he spoke with sternness. “What happened in the bathroom?”

It wasn’t a request for information, it was a mandate that he expected to be obeyed. At my sigh, fury rolled across his face and for the first time since I been with Edward, a small twinge of dread ran through me. I figured that even though I hadn’t sufficiently evaluated my thoughts I had better at least give him some kind of an answer.

“Ummm…well, your friend from the beach came in,” Edward’s head tilted minutely as he eyed me suspiciously, “and she said some things…and your…”

My explanation was cut off by his question, “What did she say?”

Shifting my eyes I tried to look over at the faucets to see if I could reach them to shut off the water, “What did she say Bella?”

He was getting angry because I was being so elusive and really I don’t know why I just didn’t come out and tell him the truth. It’s not like I believed what the ‘skank’ said, because I didn’t. Yet I couldn’t stop the insecurities from coming through and I wasn’t sure if it was just me or if every woman who is faced with the same situation would question the hold she has on her man.

“Umm…” taking a deep breath I just spit it out. “Basically a bunch of shit about the two of you talking and that the two of you had made plans to meet later.”

His eyes widened in shock, “And you believed her?”

“No…I knew she was lying, attempting to cause trouble…”

He tilted his head even further bringing his lips closer to mine, “How did you know she was lying?”

My hands came up to lie against the broadness of his chest, “Because you love me and I trust you and…”

At my hasty stop Edward asked, “and?”

“And if you have enough energy to meet another women, you let me know, I’ll be more than happy to help exhaust you.”

“Is that right?” he asked while tugging on the tie at the back of my neck.

“Ah, huh.”

Closing my eyes my head leaned back as I savored the feel of his lips on my neck. Edward’s nose skimmed across my collar bone while his hand opened the other tie in the middle of my back as he spoke softly against my skin, “And what did my mother say to her?”

Swallowing hard I answered through my own hushed voice, “I don’t know, she sent us out.”

“Hmmm,” his lips moved up the other side of my neck sending shivers through my body.

My eyes fluttered open to take in the gorgeous half naked man standing before me. His wet hair, slick body and dark eyes were enhanced by the musky smell coming off his moist skin. It was too much to ignore and I threw my arms around his neck crushing my chest against his as our lips met in a searing kiss.

Our mouths tangled together while I kept my hold around his neck and Edward’s hands slid down my back to cup my bottom. He pulled me closer to him while I wrapped my leg around his upper thigh as he pressed the evidence of his desire for me into my center. Shifting my weight the warm hardness of his dick gave me the most delicious friction and the tingles were like shock waves running through me.

I knew we didn’t have much time and the last thing I wanted to do was be late but the fire was building inside me and I wanted him. Edward must have felt the same way because as quickly as my hands were moving down his body to the waist band of his pants, his fingers were moving the material from the crotch of my swimming suit bottoms out of the way.

It barely registered in my mind that his lips had left mine until I felt his hips shift as he slid the fullness of his length into me. A low needy moan left my mouth and the water splashed in my face as my head rolled back against the wall while his lips once again attacked my neck.

It was tantalizing

It was superb

It was ecstasy

“God, I fucking love you,” Edward spoke with a husky voice against my ear.

I couldn’t think enough to form a coherent thought all I could do was grip his butt with one hand and his shoulder with the other. It was a feeble attempt to hold on to him while he moved with precision in and out of my body. I don’t know if it was the way Edward had me pinned against the wall in an unmovable position or if it was the angle of his trust, either way it didn’t matter, each time he moved shockwaves of pleasure radiated through me. My breathing was heavy and I must have been saying something but the only thing I could concentrate on was the building pressure and one thought filled my mind - more.

Edward’s hand gripped down under my thigh lifting it slightly higher to make me tilt my hips in towards him. The moan left my mouth as he picked up the momentum of his thrust and my hands clenched him tighter. My body responded to the new position with a building intensity and all I could do was hold on and let the pleasure take over.

Gasping for breath I made my need known, “I’m gonna…can’t…Ed...ward.”

“Let it go,” he grunted in my ear.

And I did.

Pushing my back against the wall my hips thrust forward as my body was rattled with tingly warmth. My hands held on to any part of Edward’s body they could find as I rode out the orgasm letting him use my body until his own release spilt inside me. The groan left him a split second before he attacked my mouth with his own. Our tongues moved together in a dance for dominance that was leaving me even more breathless. Edward pulled away from my mouth with heavy pants, resting his forehead against mine as we both got our breathing under control.

Tilting my head my lips once again found his and both my hands slipped behind his neck holding him to me until Edward forcefully pulled away from me. The motion causing him to grunt and me to whimper as I felt him still semi-firm slip from my body.

“If we don’t stop, we’re never going to make it out of here.”

“I’m all up for that.”

“Ok.”

Not sure that I heard him correctly I questioned with hopefulness, “Really?”

“Sure,” Edward said letting go of my thigh so I could put it down. “But you have to explain to my mother why we weren’t there.”

Thinking back to the seriousness of Esme’s eyes when she sent me out of the bathroom I decided that was one conversation I would rather not have. “Ah…we better hurry up.”

“Good choice,” Edward chuckled at my reply nodding as he dropped his pants the rest of the way off his body, giggling I removed my bathing suit bottoms. “That’s the first time I ever took my pants off after sex.”

“Sorry, I just couldn’t wait anymore,” Edward confessed picking up the bottle of body wash.

“I’m not complaining.”

The shower was so big with so many different spray nozzles that it was easy for both of us to shower at the same time. Turning off the faucets Edward reached over to grab some towels, handing me one I started to briskly rub it through my hair. When I was done he had his towel wrapped around his waist and was handing me another one for my body.

Going into the bedroom I groaned at all the packages, knowing where my discontent stemmed from, Edward chuckled, “How about a glass of wine?”

Telling him yes, I set about clearing off the bed putting the larger purchases over by the seating area and condensing some of the bags. Pulling out all the little boys’ clothes I put them in with all the crib sheets before dumping out the contents of the last bag. The bed was filled with frilly pink outfits. Picking up the hanger containing the pretty ruffled dress with a bodice full of smocking, my finger ran over the soft white lace embellishments.

Shoving it into the bag I couldn’t contain my resentment, “Fucking Alice.”

“Woo…” the sound made me look up, “What did my sister do now?”

“Nothing,” I said shoving the rest of the clothes into the bag as fast as I could.

Edward reached out grabbing the last little outfit, a dark pink sleeper with the words, “Daddy’s Angel” written under a little embossed sleeping cherub with brown curly hair. He stood there in a towel rubbing the soft fleecy terry cloth between his fingers for a few moments before looking at me.

“Does your discontent with my sister have anything to do with her comments about not dressing her niece in stuff you got off someone’s lawn?”

I could feel my eyes fill up with tears and I blinked them back, “She shouldn’t say those things”

“She doesn’t mean any harm.”

I knew that he was right, Alice wasn’t being malicious. In her mind she truly believed what she was saying, she also thought that by telling me she was helping. The problem was that sometimes she was so convincing that I started to believe her and that was just too painful to deal with.

Edward continued to eye me as he handed the outfit over, “Is that why you bought all the girls stuff?”

“No,” I smiled at him hoping to take the look of bewilderment off his face. “I’m not crazy enough to buy clothes for a possible baby that will never happen. I bought this stuff because I am absolutely convinced that Leah is having a girl, and if she doesn’t I’ll donate it all to the center.”

Taking the few steps towards me Edward stroked the length of my jaw with the back of his fingers, “You know Bella, it might be possible.”

I couldn’t deal with Edward believing in the impossible too, “Did you see my medical reports?”

The day I told him the worst of what James had done to me; Edward came in to find me hysterically crying. Amongst the pile of papers scattered around my living room the medical reports were with them. I didn’t know if he had looked at them or not. Edward had told me afterwards that he had gathered everything up for Leah to put away but he was unable to look at the pictures. I couldn’t say that I blamed him.

“No, but there are advancements and…”

It was not something I wanted to discuss at that moment, besides he was missing the most important part of the whole equation, “And are you saying you want to impregnate me?”

“Not right this minute nâhtötse…” glancing over at the clock Edward smiled mischievously. “…I’m not that quick. Besides for all my kinky ways I have some very old fashion idea’s and I think that babies should be born to two people who love, honor and obey”

Love, honor and obey?

That sounded like a marriage or a D/s relationship

Edward took the last bag from me placing it over by the seating area where I had put everything else and handed me a glass of wine which I took a drink of before going into the bathroom to dry my hair. While the heat from the dryer blew through my hair I wondered about the last thing that Edward had said. When I asked about impregnating me he didn’t say ‘absolutely not,’ instead he implied that we would be married first.

Was Edward thinking about marring me?

Looking into the mirror while I ran a brush through my hair I wondered if I even wanted to get married again. I wasn’t exactly sure that I believed in the institution or exactly what a piece a paper said or didn’t say about a relationship. For the most part it boils down to legitimizing children and since I was very sure that we would not be faced with that consequence there really was no reason to go through the whole process of a marriage.

Besides that the first time around had been a colossal mistake that nearly cost me my life along with my sanity. I was young and chose foolishly, thinking that once we were married everything would work out. In my mind I thought that once I was James’ wife he would automatically respect me but I should have known that the respect has to come first. That is something I always got from Edward along with tenderness and unconditional love.

Another thing with getting married was giving up my autonomy; I had just gotten back to being my own person. Although when I thought about it I didn’t truly know independence until I handed control of myself over to Edward. It seems like an oxymoron finding individualism in subjection but that is exactly what I did. I have never in my life been more happy or more fulfilled and there was one thing I knew for sure, there was no way in hell I could go back to the way I had been living my life.

Brushing the Mascara through my lashes all those thoughts ran through my mind. What exactly would change with a marriage? One thing came to the forefront of my thoughts and I knew without a doubt that yes I would like nothing more than to one day be: Isabella Marie Cullen.

We weren’t going anywhere fancy for dinner so I dressed casually in khaki capris and a brown sleeveless button-down that tied around the waist with my strappy sandals. I thought about wearing my bells but decided against them out of respect for Edward’s parents. When he gave them to me he said that there would be people who knew what they represented and I was sure that Esme and Carlisle were among them.

I made sure that I had my phone and room key in my purse before we left, walking down the hall holding hands Edward brought up my phone call with Jane asking what I meant by seeing her Thursday night.

“Your mom is excited about your aunt and uncle coming to town and she wanted us all to come over for dinner but I already told Leah we would eat with them,” glancing up to see his reaction, there didn’t seem to be any disapproval. “So I told your mom that we would come over afterwards for a little bit, is that ok?”

“Sure,” he said pushing the button to call the elevator. “That’s why Jane called you?”

“No, that was just part of the conversation,” I told him stepping inside. “I had called her…”

“You told me she phoned you?”

The accusation was clear. “She did…” Edward sighed at the contradiction, “I left her a message first and she was returning my call.”

I knew what he wanted and figured it was best to tell him, “I wanted to ask her opinion on the task you gave me.”

As I said the words the doors opened and we stepped out into the lobby to meet most of his family. Rose and Emmett still weren’t there and as we said hello to everyone Vinny came over to take my hand. “Come here Aunt Bella I want to show you something.”

Before he could drag me away Edward stopped him, “Hold on a second, let me talk Aunt Bella first.”

Amongst the eyes of his family Edward lead me over to the corner, “What do you mean her opinion?”

He sounded kind of mad which didn’t make any sense to me because I thought my talking to Jane was already pre-approved. Edward narrowed his eyes as his face took on a serious appearance. “Isabella it doesn’t matter what Jane or anyone else thinks about the task I give you. Their opinion holds
no power over me.”

I was slightly taken aback because I think Edward misunderstood what I was talking about, “I didn’t ask Jane what she thought about the task, I was looking for direction in fulfilling it.”

“Why didn’t you ask me?” he sounded almost hurt.

“Because you yelled at me”

I could see that my answer shocked him by the way his eyes widened as his head jerked back, “I didn’t yell at you. I did reminded you of your place when you made an insufferable sound and then afterwards I gave you the opportunity to ask me anything.”

“Well I couldn’t think of anything then. But while I was shopping I thought maybe Jane could help me to come up with some goals.”

The vagueness of my explanation led Edward to come to his own conclusion. “So basically you had Jane do your homework for you.”

“No,” shaking my head I tried to explain, “she just helped me narrow down my choices. You said the goals could be anything, that’s a broad spectrum with lots of choices…”

“Yo…you two ready?” Emmett had arrived and Vinny was back pulling on my hand. “Come on Aunt Bella.”

Unable to thwart the five year old boy I took Edward’s hand pulling him along as I finished my thoughts, “All she did was help me narrow down the choices”

Vinny lead us towards the large indoor pond in the corner of the lobby pointing at the large fish. “Look those are Koi fish. They come all the way from Japanese…” his bright blue eyes shown with excitement as he looked up at me, “that’s on the other side of the world.”

“You’re right it is, but the fish are Japanese because they come from Japan. Like we are Americans because we come from…”

“America!” He announced triumphantly.

“That’s right, you’re so smart,” tussling his hair before he ran smiling back to his mother. Looking up at Edward I wondered if tussling his hair would result in a smile. “Did I do something wrong because I thought it was alright to talk to Jane about anything?”

Reaching out Edward held my chin while searching my eyes for something, when he spoke there was a hint of sadness in his voice, “You have free reign in your conversations with Jane, have you documented it in your journal yet?”

“No, I was going to do it tonight.”

“See that you write out every detail because that is a conversation that I will be analyzing very closely,” Edward pulled my chin a little higher before he touched his lips to mine for a chaste kiss then he dropped his hand and gave me a piercing stare, “Understand?”

I understood what he wanted me to do I just couldn’t comprehend why that particular conversation would be of such interest to him. There wasn’t any time for me to get clarification as everyone started to leave. Then instead of riding in our own car Edward and I drove with his parents, Esme filled Edward in on the plan for Thursday night. She really was excited about her brother coming to town and I was getting excited to meet the oldest of the siblings.

Once that conversation was exhausted I asked Carlisle about the Center. We had been together for three days but there were always people around us and it wouldn’t have been proper to discuss any specifics. Since the only person in the car who wasn’t associated with the Center was Edward I felt like it was acceptable to ask. He assured me that all was well; Dana had left on Friday as planned, going back to her original job working at the bank.

That worried me a little because I knew that she still had more time left in the medical leave she had taken and it might have been a better course of action to use it. Dana was headstrong and determined to live her life to the fullest. I just hoped that enough time had passed for her husband to have given up looking for her.

Carlisle was talking about some of the things the girls had done and we were laughing at the attempted runny fudge when he said, “Carol has an assignment for you,” before he caught himself. Our eyes met in the rearview mirror for an instant before he looked away with a guilty expression.

“What does she want?” I didn’t understand Carlisle’s reaction I would do whatever I could but I had to admit that I was already giving as much time as I could.

Carlisle chuckled, “I’m going to let Carol tell you.”

Trying to finagle information out of Carlisle was like trying to take rum from an alcoholic, it wasn’t happening. I even resorted to bribery however he wasn’t swayed by my naming our next puppy after him. Glancing over at Esme I got the sense that she was aware of what he was talking about however looking at Edward he had no clue as he shrugged, “I guess you’ll find out on Monday.”

The restaurant was inside of the casino, which Emmett wanted to go to the next – our final – night. Alice wasn’t as up for that plan because she had the kids. As they were discussing what else we could do Esme came to the rescue saying that when they left the next day she would take the kids with them. That would give Alice and Jasper one night to go out and as Esme put it “shake their tail feathers.” All throughout dinner Edward seemed distracted. He still pulled out my chair, shared an appetizer and spoke at the appropriate places and maybe to anyone else he seemed fine, but I knew something was bothering him.

The only thing that I could think of was my conversation with Jane and I wished that we had a few minutes to be alone so we could talk about it. Once dinner was over Esme told everyone to not order dessert because she had a whole pie – that Carlisle had bought at the bake sale – back at the hotel. Alice wanted to put the kids to bed so that meant that we all ended up in her room. We sat around eating the mixed berry pie – which was really good- having drinks and played a few rounds of Uno. It was almost eleven when we left with the plan to meet down in the restaurant for breakfast at nine.

Emmett and Rose left with us and on the elevator Edward talked with his brother about some of the extra events planned for the weekend at the club. They seemed to have all kinds of games and activities planned to help with the Anniversary celebration. I still wasn’t looking forward to going back there but it did sound like a lot of attention was given to making the party memorable.

After saying good night Edward and I continued in silence down the hall to our room. Once inside he kicked off his shoes and went to the refrigerator, “Do you want a glass of wine to drink while working on your journal?”

I knew that the rule was all conversations with Jane had to be documented before the end of the day, so it didn’t surprise me but I really wanted to know what his problem was. I should have just asked instead I figured I would bid my time and answered his question, “Sure.”

Taking my journal out of my purse I went into the bedroom and started to underdress, opting for a sleep shirt. I was just pulling it over my head when Edward came in to hand me the wine. While I sat down on the bed to begin writing Edward changed into pajama pants then told me that he was going to sit out on the balcony until I was done. He was giving me alone time to get my thoughts together yet I couldn’t help but to feel like I was being punished for something.

It’s not like I can’t be alone or that I am afraid to be alone, really it was the way I have lived my whole life. It was more of the way he left the room, in a very uncharacteristic way of not saying a word or even a kiss on the cheek. Leaving me to feel deserted and all those abandonment issues came back. It was a wretched feeling that once I had relayed the conversation with Jane, came out in my writing.

An hour later I had exhausted everything inside of me, setting the journal on the nightstand I went into the bathroom to wash my face. Six hours earlier I was standing looking in the same mirror contemplating the possibility of becoming a Cullen. Looking into my own eyes, reality set in and just like the dream of pink frilly dresses I had to stop deluding myself.

The problem was I didn’t want to stop believing in the impossible because even if it was only a dream it was still better than nothing at all. With that thought in mind I went back into the bedroom picked up my empty glass and went out on the balcony to talk to Edward.