Chapter 58

EPOV

“Hey…” I said soothingly, trying to reach out to her as she flinched away. “Bella…it’s just me.”

The only light in the room was being cast out through the open bathroom door. She seemed far away, lost in whatever had terrified her, making me feel helpless and I didn’t like it. “Isabella,” at the sound of her name she stilled enough for me to touch her. “Calm down, it was only a dream.”

The previous morning Bella had awoken from a dream that was filled with pleasure. Today her sub-conscious had done a complete one-eighty leaving her shaking from fear. My arms wrapped across her shoulders drawing her close and holding her there until she relaxed. The quietness of the room was in direct contrast to the prior screaming.

We had both fallen asleep on top of the blankets, completely sated from our shared passion. Anal sex is always down and dirty, but the prior night was special, creating an atmosphere of tenderness that I didn’t want to lose. So rather then move I pulled one side of the comforter over top of us and slept. When I woke the clock said four and I had to pee like a race horse, which was the reason for leaving the bed.

With the door open I could hear her mumbling something while I washed my hands. It wasn’t until the water was turned off that I could make out the words ‘don’t leave’. Knowing that she often says this in her sleep I really didn’t think anything of it while coming back to bed. The abruptness, in which Bella sprung up along with the piercing scream, scared the shit out of me. Even once she was in my arms it took her a few minutes to stop shaking enough to talk.

“Better?” I asked while Bella nodded her head against my chest. Picking up the edge of the blanket we climbed underneath to lie down. Once she was settled I asked what her dream was about.

“My mother was there. She kept saying ‘stay in the light’ or ‘stay with the light’…” Bella shook her head “something like that. I begged her to stay with me. She wouldn’t… she never did.” the last words were whispered in a hush.

Bella sighed against my chest, “Then it got very dark and I could feel people behind me…then you called my name…from the window… ‘Isabella’…I couldn’t see you because it was so bright. Then someone in the darkness grabbed my shoulder making me scream.”

Listening to her recounting of the dream I needed clarification, “It was bright in the darkness?”

“No… the dark was all around except for the blinding light in the window,” her head lifted to look at me, “from where you were calling me.”

“Hmmm…it was just a dream Bella,” tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Let’s try and go back to sleep.” She smiled timidly while nodding in agreement.

It was just a dream yet I knew that it was her sub-conscious playing out through the nightmare.
Bella settled back into me letting her fingers run over my chest, after a few minutes they stopped while her breathing grew even, telling me she was asleep. I knew that as the time grew closer for us to leave Bella’s fears and anxieties would surface. In fact, it surprised me that it had taken so long. I half expected them to materialize the moment we left Seattle.

Anticipating her distress I brought along a distraction, something for her to work on while we drove from Port Angles to Forks. It was also the reason I downloaded the directions into my phone. That way she could concentrate on her assignment rather than our destination and the GPS wouldn’t distract her with the constant talking. My hope was that Bella’s focus would be so ingrained on the task that we could just sail into Forks with the least amount of anxiety possible.

The hardest decision that I had to make centered on our D/s time. There were pros and cons to each mode including eliminating it all together for the weekend. I thought about doing just that, not having any restrictions on Bella at all. It would be nice, especially this being the first time meeting her father and Sue, to just be us. But Bella was going to need something to keep her grounded. She needed the strength that comes in her submission to me.

By all rights the best way to go would be full-mode, which would definitely supply her with all the needed tenacity. However, I didn’t think that Bella would be comfortable, nor do I suppose her father would understand. The thought of it made me chuckle causing Bella to shift around and mumble something about ‘musty tents.’ Her words made me smile as I kissed her head glad that at least she wasn’t dreaming about dark places with people attempting to grab her.

No, the suitable way for us to go was the middle route, a modified-mode - a relaxed modified. Yes, that is what we’ll do; instead of one task I’ll give her two. That should give Bella the freedom to relax and hopefully enjoy the time with the people she loves, while still utilizing her inner power.

Bella still has so many unknown fears, things that should be routine became a source of anxiety. I wasn’t a psychology major but I truly believed what I told her. No matter what good memories she has, the overwhelming tragedy of her adulthood surpasses any joy from her childhood.

Personally I don’t know how she overcame the hurdles that she already has. If a simple examination disturbed her, how the hell does she handle anal sex? I knew her husband repeatedly raped her anally, yet Bella enjoys that sex act and there is no fear or distress at anytime. In fact just the opposite occurs, she requests it. How did she rise above the trauma of something that seems insurmountable?

My girl truly is an enigma

Letting my eyes close I drifted off somewhere between sleep and consciousness afraid that Bella might have another nightmare. At some point I must have succumbed, because the next thing I was aware of was the feeling of my dick being sheathed in warm wetness. My mind was just becoming aware of what was happening when she starting moving.

With a groan my hands grasped both hips, “What are you doing?”

Bella giggled placing her hands on my chest for balance, “Should I draw you a diagram?”

At the sound of her girlish laughter my eyes finally opened. Bella was straddled over my hips, looking down at me, her hair creating a curtain around her face. “Mmmm…no drawing needed, I think I get the idea.”

She bent down giving me a kiss that caused the screaming of the dark early morning to be replaced with cries of radiant pleasure.

After reaching our mutual releases Bella stayed lying over my chest kissing each other tenderly and we remained connected until Seth whined with his own need. We both dressed in whatever we found and took him out for a quick walk around the building. The morning air was cool, but the sun was bright promising a nice day, which I mentioned in passing.

Bella looked up squinting at the brightness. “Soak in up now because it will be raining in Forks.”
I didn’t need to look at her face to know what she was feeling, the dread was clear.

Back in the room Bella showered while I began packing, laying anything dirty on the bed as she had asked me to. Once she came out of the bathroom we switched places, by the time I was done Bella was dressed and shoving all the dirty clothes into a laundry bag. Standing there for a moment watching her, I wondered when she had thought to bring something for the dirty clothes.

“That was rather insightful of you.” Bella looked at me questioningly so I added pointing my finger at the sack, “the laundry bag.”

“Oh,” she smiled. “I always bring one. Ever since I can remember, it was just easier. That way I could get Charlie his clothes back quicker.”

“You did your father’s wash?” that sounded like something a kid shouldn’t do.

“Yeah, since I was ten or eleven.” There must have been some kind of bewilderment on my face because she justified herself. “I told you this. Charlie worked all kinds of weird hours; mostly he would sleep during the day and …”

Breaking into her train of thought I made the assumption, “You did all the chores.”

She shrugged, “Someone had to.”

I truly couldn’t imagine any ten year old taking it upon themself to be responsible for keeping a house. I suppose that would be another reason why at the tender age of eighteen Bella thought herself ready for marriage. It seems so clear to me that she had hopes and dreams for a regular life; college, career, and all the other things that eighteen year olds dream about. However, in her advanced maturity she pushed her own happiness aside and took on the responsibility of trying to please someone else. I had thought Bella to be a natural submissive and it would seem like she was.

The mistake she made was in her choice of a partner. I have no doubt that had he not been abusive she would have been a perfect wife. Bella did everything within her power to see to others happiness even to the point of losing her own. At least that is how I believe it was with their marriage in the beginning, as time went on her actions were more out of fear than a desire to please. That is the major difference between a Dominate and a Dominator. While I watched her pulling the draw string on the bag, the desire to meet Charlie and see the places that shaped her early life spiked within me.

“Ok, I’ll wash this while we’re at LaPush,” she announced, tossing the dirty wash onto the floor next to our luggage.

“Ah…my little Suzy homemaker,” I teased, pulling her against me for a hug as her head tilted to look up at me.

“Would you rather wear dirty clothes?”

Shaking my head with a grin, “No…I’d rather wear no clothes at all.”

“Oh…I’m sure Leah would just love that.” She giggled against my lips.

“Ok, have it your way, we’ll keep our clothes on,” our lips met for a brief moment before I added, “at least while we’re around other people.”

“Good idea.” Bella lifted up on her toes for another kiss then stepped away from me to ask, “Speaking of dressed, are you planning to do that or are you going to breakfast in a towel?”

“Alright, I see where your priorities are,” pretending to pout as I dropped the towel so I could dress. As I turned around Bella was watching me intently. The blush that crept on her face at getting caught made me laugh as she quickly moved to straighten out the bedcovers.

Going to the main building for breakfast we sat at the same table we had used the other day. Bella ordered French toast again while I got a basic omelet and we shared a chocolate fudge muffin. We had just received juice and coffee when our neighbors sat down at the table next to us. I had wanted to talk to Bella about the modified plan for the weekend; however they were very close to us and seemed extremely interested in what we talked about.

They could eavesdrop all they wanted since there was nothing of extreme importance or of personal nature being said. Bella had finished telling me about the gift she had gotten for Seth, when a woman’s hand reached over to place something on our table. Our food came but we both sat there staring at the little pamphlet that was printed on cheap bright colored paper. The title read, “Finding God’s Purpose in Marital Intimacy.”

What the fuck?

Our gaze locked as Bella picked up the pamphlet with a look of utter contempt on her face.

“Excuse me,” she said turning to the couple next to us holding out the leaflet, “I think you dropped this.”

“No, that is for you. My husband, Dave …” the woman motioned to him before pointing to her own chest, “…by the way I’m Shirley.”

The smile on her face never wavered as she spoke, “During our morning devotions we both came under conviction to be a witness as to God’s purpose for the marital bed. We thought you should know that it’s a sacred covenant between a husband, wife, and our Lord and Master Jesus Christ. It is not one that should be defiled with such animalistic proceedings as we heard from your room.”

Was this lady serious?

Did they actually think that they had any right to interject their religious beliefs into our life? Dave was watching me for a reaction and I was just about to tell them both to shove their witnessing up their ass when Bella laid the reading material back down on their table.

“Well Shirley it’s nice to meet you, I’m Bella and this is Edward. We would be more than happy to hear what you have to say except, I’m afraid that this doesn’t pertain to us, because we’re not married.”

I thought poor Shirley’s eyes were going to bug out of her head as a loud gasp left her mouth while Bella turned her attention back to her breakfast with absolutely no expression on her face. Picking up my fork I had to bite down hard on the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing as the two of them got up from their table. I was so proud of Bella for standing up for herself, but they still weren’t done with the self-righteousness.

“We’ll pray for you,” Dave announced as he walked by to sit somewhere else.

“You do that,” I told him with all the venom I could muster.

As they walked away from us Bella looked up at me without saying a word. Raising my eyebrows I waited for her to say whatever it was. The giggle came before the words, “We thought it was jealousy…but here they think we’re some kind of demons from hell.”

“Oh…you’re a demon alright. My own personal temptress, sent to devour me.” I chuckled at the blush on her face and then glanced over at Dave and Shirley who had moved to corner as far away from us as possible. “Seriously Bella, I know that everyone is allowed to have their own ideas of morality but that was stepping over the line of civility, and I was going to tell them off but you handled it with dignity and integrity…you did good baby.”

Bella took a drink of coffee then sighed, “It’s the product of growing up in a small town. You have to learn how to say ‘fuck off’ with a polite smile on your face.”

“Was it so bad?” I asked and then clarified, “Growing up in a small town?”

“No. It was fine; it’s just that everyone knows everything about you. Some of it’s true, some of it’s conjecture, and they all have an opinion about you. They are like the annoying aunt that feels entitled to tell you what she thinks, whether you want to hear it or not.”

I grew up on the Island and compared to Seattle that was small enough but even Bainbridge was ten times larger than Forks. Something told me that I might be in for a rude awakening once we got there. I remembered when Bella and I had first started dating and her father called to ask about the rumors he heard about me.

At the time I found them to be humorous and wondered why Bella’s own father would even contemplate the possibility of them being true. I began to wonder what else has been said since that time. I had spoken with Charlie once for a few minutes on the phone, while Bella was taking a bath. Our conversation was polite and he seemed genuinely interested in our meeting.

As that time was drawing closer I found myself getting slightly edgy. It was starting to dawn on me that most of the people who live there would have known Bella her whole life, and those that didn’t would definitely know the Chief. The whole town, not just her family and friends, were going to be scrutinizing our relationship, and if Bella is correct they will be making their opinions known.

The ramifications of that have no bearing on my life directly, however it might to Bella and it most definitely will affect Charlie. I was considering spending the rest of my life with her; I want to be able to call her father asking for her hand with confidence in the certainty of his blessing. First impressions mean so very much and I didn’t know why I failed to see it before, but this weekend was going to be pivotal in our relationship.

“Hey,” Bella touched my hand. “Are you ok? You seem really far away.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking about the weekend.” That was the truth. I didn’t feel the need to elaborate on my own inner turmoil.

“What are we going to do about it?” It took me a second to realize that she meant our usual, looking around there were still too many people within ear shot for my liking.

“Finish eating, then we can take Seth for a walk through the gardens and talk about it when we have more privacy.”

“Ok,” she said taking a drink of juice. “And we need to get a rock.”

“A what?” I had no idea what the heck she was talking about.

“A nice sized rock. It’s kind of a tradition. Charlie and I would always go to the same place each summer; we would rent a cabin so he could fish. Every year we would bring home a rock, paint the year on it and then put it in the yard. It was like our souvenir but it was also symbolic. Rocks are enduring, sturdy, and the foundation that everything else rests upon. I guess it’s silly,” she shrugged, “but after all these years those rocks are still scattered around the front yard. How many people can say they still have the souvenir prominently displayed from a vacation they took twenty years ago?”

The more I learned about Bella the more intriguing she was to me. “Do you have rocks in your yard?”

Bella wiped her mouth then pushed her plate away. “Two, one from Juno and one from the Glacier. That one is really pretty; it’s pure white with black sparkly specks in it.”

The gleam in her eyes caused me to smile. “Alright my love, we’ll get you a rock to start our collection.”

We had an hour before check out and another hour after that to get the ferry back to Port Angles. Taking Seth we used the time to enjoy the nice weather while walking the grounds of the hotel. Bella snapped a few more pictures and even had a passerby take one of the three of us. While we walked the grounds looking for the perfect rock, I told her my plan of our relaxed modified mode. Explaining that basically means the only time we are D/s is when we are completely alone, either in the car, our room, or off somewhere in private. For the majority of the weekend, other than her following a few simple tasks, we would just be Edward and Bella. There would be no need to present herself or follow any protocol while we are around other people.

“What tasks?”

Of course my Bella would want to know that

Bringing her to a stop I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her close to me. “You’ll find that out when you are laid bare, kneeling before me.”

Bella gave me a decisive nod with a loud sigh – that sound was really starting to annoy me – but it was going to have to wait. This weekend would not be the most favorable moment to deal with her propensity to make tetchy sounds. The boorish conduct was going to take more one-on-one time then we would have. It was also going to be a lesson that would require a whole weekend of unwavering discipline. I knew that Bella made those disagreeable noises out of habit, but it was a habit I was going to break and neither one of us was going to like the process.

Bella had a few more small personal items to get together while I loaded up the car with the luggage. When I went back into the room she was putting Seth’s leash on him, there was a small duffle bag, and the box containing the stained glass that needed to go into the car along with the dog’s bed, and the brilliant orange football sized rock she had found on our walk through the gardens.

“Are you ready?” I asked while Bella took a quick walk around the room making sure that nothing was overlooked. “I’m ready.”

The last thing I did was leave a tip on the dresser for housekeeping before shutting the door. Bella got Seth in the car while I checked out; we had no extra expenses so all I had to do was hand over the keys and sign the charge slip. We had agreed that I would pay for this hotel and she would take care of the room at the beach. It meant a lot to Bella and if that made her happy my ego could take the hit.

Bella was waiting outside of the car leaning against her door. When I got a few feet away she jumped up into my arms, wrapping her thighs around my waist so I had to hold her bottom with my hands. Our foreheads rested against each others as Bella looked into my eyes. “Thank you. I had a great time.”

I smiled at her letting my hands squeeze the round fullness of her cheeks, while she squirmed against me, “So did I.”

The words were spoken against her lips right before they met in a soft tender kiss. As I pulled back Bella quickly pressed her lips to mine once more before unwrapping her legs from around me. Her feet hit the ground but my hands stayed firmly against her bottom giving it another squeeze that made her whimper.

Pressing her face against my chest her hands made tight fist as she gripped my shirt. Tilting her chin up our gaze locked and I saw it flash in her eyes, the misery. It was only there for a second before she hid it behind a sad smile that tugged at my heart. The feeling created an urge to take her far away from anything that caused her that much distress.

But this was something that she was going to have to face and I wanted her to know that I would be there with her. “How about you be a good girl and get in the car now, because I can’t wait for you to show me all around the big city of Forks.”

“That will take all of five minutes,” she said dubiously with a grin.

“Then we will have to find something else to do and fill in the blank spots,” I kissed her again just for a vote of confidence. “Come on…let’s blow this joint!”

We both laughed, actually I laughed while Bella snorted. I knew it was corny but I was hoping for some levity to help ease her anxiety, it appeared to have worked. Holding the car door open I held on to her wrist as she turned around to get in. “Seriously baby, it’s going to be alright and we are going to have an awesome weekend.”

“If you say so,” she said getting into the car as I shut the door I assured her and myself, “I do say so.”

We got to the harbor as the cars were starting to line up, getting into position we each got out our passports for the customs officers. By the time we were checked through, the vehicles in front of us were starting to load. Once we were on the ferry, we took Seth out onto the deck to enjoy the sunny day.

As the ferry pulled away from the dock Bella looked up at me. “We’ll have to come here again.”

Wrapping my arm around her shoulder I pulled her close placing a kiss on her head, “Isn’t there someplace else you would like to go?”

“Do you mean in the states?” she looked up at me curiously.

I shrugged, “If you could go anywhere…where would it be?”

“Well,” I began leading Bella by the hand to sit down on the bench and listened as she talked, “I would like to see a lot of places here in the states; but there are four things I’ve always wanted to do: Tour the Tower of London, kiss the Blarney Stone, chip off a piece of the Coliseum, and climb the Pyramids.”

“Chip off a piece of the Coliseum?” she nodded her head in excitement at my question. “Bella, I think that’s illegal.”

“I’m not talking about anything big…” she held her hands out as if gripping a basketball then used her thumb and forefinger to make a circle, “…just something little. I’ve seen pictures there’s enough debris laying around, that one little stone won’t be missed.”

The seriousness in her tone made me chuckle, “And just what are you going to do with this little piece of debris?”

“Put it by the picture of us standing in front of the structure.”

Us?

Bella said us as if it was a forgone conclusion that I would be with her in that picture. She was thinking about our relationship in terms of the future. That notion made me much happier than I would have ever dreamed possible. We sat on the bench talking about more locations that we would both like visit. Bella hadn’t been very many places, hell she’d never even been to Disneyworld, so our possibilities seemed endless.

As the view of Port Angeles drew closer we got back into the car. Just as the ferry was making port Bella’s phone started playing ‘Love Shack.’ I eyed her as she dug through her purse to retrieve it, flipping it open she answered with a happy tone, while I listened to the one sided conversation.

“Hey, I was beginning to think you were ignoring me…I didn’t have any service…I’ll tell you later…ok, we are just getting into Port Angles now so go ahead and eat, I guess we’ll stop at The Shop…ok see you soon.”

Bella flipped her phone closed before putting it back in her purse. “That was Leah, she was wondering if she should hold off on lunch. I didn’t want to make her wait so we can get something quick at the Coffee Shop before going to the reservation.”

“That sounds like a plan. There is something you need to do for me while we drive.” Bella looked at me questionably as the cars in front of us started moving.

“Open up the middle consol there should be some papers in there.” Doing as I asked Bella pulled them out, studying the white sheet on top.

“Limits? I already did this…”

I cut off her train of thought, “It’s time to do another one. I put a copy of your original in there that way you can see for yourself how much has changed”

It had been a month; there should be a lot of things that had changed, not only in terms of actual experience but also preferences and willingness to partake in an activity. I was anxious to see the responses Bella gave. Although I believed that I had a better grasp of her desires, it would be nice to have concrete proof that I was moving in the right direction.

Bella dug through her purse once again taking out a pen and two different colored highlighters before sitting back in the seat. Getting to Forks was a straight shot west on the 101, as I drove with the radio on for background noise my eyes shifted over to Bella several times. It seemed that the distraction I had planned was effective in keeping her relaxed. I had worried that the anxiety would overtake her to the point of panic, but there was none of that. Each time I glanced over she appeared to be deep in thought while using the highlighters as she worked.

Reaching the town limits I needed to disturb her concentration, “Where do you want to eat?”

“Umm…the Coffee Shop, it’s right on Main Street,” she answered not even bothering to look up.

“Is the highway Main Street?”

“Yeah,” glancing up she noticed where we were. “Oh my god, we’re here…hmmm, it’s about four blocks down on the corner.”

“Are you almost done with that?”

She put all the writing implements back into her purse. “I’m finished,” her eyes were searching out the window while she talked. “There were a few numbers I debated about, but…I think it’s accurate.”

Holding my hand out she gave me the papers while showing me where to pull into the parking lot. Because of the time - two twenty-five - it was past the lunch crowd and too early for dinner, so the nearly vacant lot didn’t surprise me. Tucking the new list of limits into my shirt pocket I got out, opening Bella’s door I glanced at Seth who was sleeping in his bed on the floor behind my seat.

“Will he be alright back there?” We had not left him alone in the car before, but Bella assured me that with the doors locked he would be fine.

The diner was a long narrow room with a counter space that had six sky blue swivel chairs in front of it. The rest of the space was taken up by booths upholstered in the same hideous blue synthetic leather that all diners seem to have in common. As we entered the building a small brass bell attached to the door alerted everyone to our presence.

The two older men sitting at the counter turned to look at us. Both of them were heavyset in stature. One was dressed in olive green work clothes and the other in jeans with a green plaid flannel shirt both men wore black baseball hats. A smile formed on their faces but it was the man in the work clothing who talked, “Well Joe, would ya look what the cat dragged in”

The other man with the plaid shirt just sort of huffed as Bella spoke, “Hello Mr. Dunmoyer, Mr. Kline how are you both?”

“Ohh...I can’t complain, no one wants to listen to me anyway,” he smiled.

“Now, Mr. Dunmoyer what would you have to complain about?” Bella retorted.

The other man laughed, “Don’t get him started Bella; I just got him to shut the hell up. I’m about ready to send him home to his wife let her listen to him bitch.”

“She don’t listen to me either, why do you think I’m always leaving the house?”

Bella laughed at their exchange then looked to me, “Edward this Mr. Dunmoyer and Mr. Kline.” she motioned to each one in turn then laid a hand on my arm, “Gentlemen this is my boyfriend Edward Cullen”

We exchanged pleasantries shaking hands, it was Mr. Kline who held on for an extra moment, “You treat this young lady right son, she’s always been a good girl.”

“I’ll do my best sir,” I assured him as a middle aged African American woman came out of the kitchen carrying two plates.

“Bella…” she set the plates down in front of the men coming around the counter to give Bella a hug, “Hi Bethany.”

The woman stood back one step scrutinizing Bella’s appearance, “Girl, look at you…my you look so …happy,” the woman turned to me. “And I’m going to assume that this young man is the reason for the happiness.” Before Bella could speak the waitress held her hand out, “I’m Bethany.”

Bella apologized as I introduced myself adding, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Bethany lead us to a booth -right under a huge stuffed Elk head- asking Bella if she had gotten to see her dad yet. “No we just got here; I’ll see him later on tonight.”

“He was here with Sue earlier for lunch,” she told us handing over the menus before telling us the soup of the day and asking what we wanted to drink.

As she walked away I looked around the diner there was one other booth that had patrons in it, but other than that it was empty. My attention then went to the menu but I noticed that Bella didn’t bother to look at hers. Bethany brought our drinks and I ordered a hot ham and cheese with fries, Bella got a cup of soup with half a turkey club.

When we were left alone I took the limits Bella had worked on out of my pocket and before I could completely unfold them she explained that the pink highlights indicated a change in status while the yellow was a change in desire. Scanning over the papers there was a lot of pink marks.

“Damn baby, you did all this in a month?” I asked with a chuckle and Bella blushed while rolling her eyes, “I had some help.”

Bethany brought our food out quicker than I had expected not giving me much time to look over the list. That was alright because I wasn’t planning to analyze it right then and there anyway. There was however one item that caught my eye leaving me completely baffled. I truly should have waited until we were alone but curiosity got the better of me. Shifting my body closer to Bella I spoke softly but as firmly as I could.

“Baby…caning? You didn’t make it a hard limit.” I wasn’t asking because it was clear that she didn’t, the only thing I wanted was clarification. I thought for sure after what occurred at the club and the repercussions of that incident there would be no way she would participate in that activity. The fact that she moved it from a two down to a one indicates diminished desire but how could there be any appeal at all?

Bella dunked a piece of her sandwich into the soup holding it up to her mouth she looked at me through her lashes. “Could we go slow?”

slow?

I kept searching her eyes trying to figure out what she meant. Knowing that it was the sound that freaked her out so badly I took an educated guess as to what she was talking about. “By slow do you mean deprive you of your senses, especially hearing?”

She swallowed hard and I watched as her hand trembled while picking up her drink, “No, I’ll need to face the whole experience,” she looked me square in the eye stressing the point, “but really slow.”

Bethany came by to see if we needed anything else, sitting upright in the seat Bella shook her head, telling her to please just bring the check. When we were once again alone Bella asked if we could talk about this in the car, which under the circumstances I thought would be a good idea. While we finished our meal I half listened to Bella tell me how Bethany has been a waitress here for thirty years while the other half of my brain tried to decipher her cryptic messages. By the time we were back in the car I was just as perplexed as I was before.

Trying to remember what Emmett said about not pushing for information I remained quiet. As we came to the edge of town, directly in front of us was, ‘Cumming’s Sporting Goods’ store. I turned the corner to go south on the 110, watching as Bella’s head moved to stay glued onto the building.

“Is that?” I didn’t get to finish my question before Bella answered, “yes.”

The quiet tension in the car was so thick I had to grip the steering wheel to keep from yelling at her to just fucking say something. After the next block Bella finally talked but at first what she said made no sense.

“Do you know the book ‘Bag of Bones’ by Stephan King?”

What the fuck does a book have to do with what I want to know?

She must have taken my silence as ignorance - which of course it was- because Bella went on. “I use that book as a teaching reference. In it he says that there are two acronyms for the word fear. One is ‘fuck everything and run’ the other is ‘face everything and recover.’ In any situation that I can control…I choose to follow the latter.”

Shifting my eyes to glance at her, Bella was staring straight out the window as if looking into the unknown. I don’t know if she felt my gaze or if she simply looked in my direction but our eyes met for a brief second. Reaching down I took her hand in mine giving a small squeeze in support.

“Edward you know how I have an…anal fetish?” I nodded in acknowledgement even though I personally wouldn’t call it a fetish.

“It took me six months of working through my fears to relax enough to enjoy it. The first few times …just the thought of anything near there made me throw up. But I kept working at it, slowly building up my courage until I was able to take pleasure in something that James tried to break me with. I faced my fears and all the demons that were in the back of my mind a little bit at a time.”

“And that’s what you want to do with the caning?” it was the only assumption I could make.

“Yes…but…” she sighed, “…it will be the first time that I faced something head on that’s not completely in my control. That’s why I put a one next to caning. Because although I want to confront those fears and overcome them, it’s partly out of my hands and will be up to you.”

“Does that worry you?” I asked because I wondered if she was questioning her trust in me but she answered immediately, “No. Does it worry you?”

My head turned in her direction, Bella was watching for my reaction to her question. She wasn’t worried about me pushing her too far, too fast. Her concern was my reaction. Would I have the determination needed to help her work through all those mental blocks that are holding her back? My reaction to the response Bella had at the club was to shelter her, take her away – which at the time was the correct thing to do. I thought about this morning and the desire I had to take away the distress she had, to protect her from any and all pain.

What she was asking of me was to slowly push her in the opposite direction. Deliberately take her to a place where she is forced into a confrontation with whatever mental shields she has created to shelter herself with. Then break down those barricades one by one.

Could I do that?

There was one nagging concern I had. “Baby, I don’t want to hurt you in any way.”

“I know. That’s where the mutual trust comes in…right?”

Bella truly trusted me, even more then I trusted myself. This was something I was going to have to think about; planning out small little segments during our playtime, or maybe during down time would be better. Either way, it wasn’t a decision for us to be making at that moment, but I could give an answer to her question.

“You’re right baby, mutual trust.” I said lifting her hand to kiss the back of it.

The road began to run along the ocean with its dark grey sand and foamy water rolling over pieces of driftwood and large rock formations. Off the shoreline was a small Island which appeared to be made of two rocks in the shape of a horseshoe.

“What’s that?” I asked pointing to the island.

“Aka-lat…James Island. It was named after the first white man to climb the top of it.”

“Seriously?” I inquired in disbelief as Bella nodded with a giggle, “Yup.”

“Teach me a few words in Quileute.”

“What do you want to know?” I thought about it trying to come up with something I might be able to use.

“How do you say ‘how are you?” that seemed simple enough.

“It’s different for a man or a woman. If you are asking a man you say ‘uh-YAH-so-CHUH’ for a woman it’s ‘uh-YAH-so-CHID.’”

I practiced the words a few times while Bella helped with the pronunciation until I had them right. “Ok here’s another one for you. No matter what anyone says to you, your answer should be WAH-lee tah-chuh-AH” Repeating that word over a few times until I had it right before asking what it meant.

“It means ‘I don’t know’ and it is always a safe answer.” I was going to have to trust her on that. Bella looked to me asking with enthusiasm, “Do you want to learn two more?”

“Sure.”

“PAY-chuh that means red and pay-THLAY-so is yellow.”

“Oh, I like those.” Giving Bella a devious smile and asking her repeat them a few more times. I really did like those words, to the point where I might have her use them for safe words on occasion, especially if we are around other people.

Seth became extremely animated in the back seat, moving from one window to another as we passed a welcome sign.

You are entering
The Quileute Reservation
All state laws will be enforced

Bella turned in the seat - as much as the belt allowed - rubbing Seth’s head, “I know you’re excited to see your momma.”

Following her directions I turned onto a small dirt road that curved around the forest on the right while we passed small homes separated by woods on the left. Half a mile down the road she pointed to where we were going. It was a small red one story home with a covered porch and a matching outbuilding that sat off the road about seventy feet. Parked out in front were Jacob’s blue CR-V and an older green Ford F-150 with mud splattered on the sideboards.

When we came to a stop poor Seth was in the back seat panting so hard I was afraid he would hyperventilate. Asking Bella if I could let him out she told me yes and I opened the door to watch a normally subdued dog run at full speed in a circle around the property.

Bella laughed as she got out of the car, “he likes it here.”

“I can see that,” as I said the words the door to the house opened and a young russet colored skin man stepped onto the porch, “Hey do you need any help?”

The introduction was just a formality because I had already figured out that the tall brawny man-child with black shoulder length hair, deep brown eyes and the facial features of his sister, was Seth.

Following Bella into the house I was led into a large open kitchen that reminded me of the one in my Gram’s summer cabin. The walls were painted a bright yellow with blue checkered curtains on the windows. White metal cabinets hung on the wall above blue speckled Formica counter tops. The old porcelain farm sink sat under a window that looked out into the front yard with an old double oven stove on the left wall of the room and a Frigidaire angled in the far right corner.

Directly behind the kitchen on the other side of a wooden room divider was what I believed to be the living room. All I could see of it was a brick wall that housed a large fireplace. Off to the right was an entrance way that must have led to the bath and bedrooms.

As we entered the house Leah was wiping her hands on dishtowel after saying hello to me, her and Bella hugged. “We’re in mom’s room so you guys take Seth’s, but don’t worry I made him change the sheets for you. I didn’t want to touch the other ones; Lord only knows what was on them.”

Bella giggled saying thank you while Seth got slightly offended, “Hey I’m standing right here. If you’re going to start talking about me, could you at least wait until I leave?”

“We’re you going?” Bella asked curiously.

“I have to be at Tracy’s in an hour,” he answered and then lifted the bag he was holding, “do you want these in the room?”

His question seemed to bring Bella back to reality. I followed her through the doorway where immediately in front of us she pointed out the small bathroom. On the right the closed door concealed the room Jacob and Leah were using and to the left was our room.

Seth sat the luggage he was carrying down on the cast iron double bed that was fitted with what appeared to be handmade quilts. Bella thanked him as he left shutting the door to give us some privacy. The room was painted a deep blue color; with a gun rack mounted on the wall above the dresser, other than that there wasn’t much else. A small TV stand in one corner facing towards the bed with a desk and chair along the back wall taking up the rest of the space.

Bella was looking at me in anticipation of my reaction. “It’s cute,” what else could I say?

She shrugged one shoulder while I sat on the bed listening to the squeak as my butt sank into the softness. Tugging her hips until she stood between my legs I asked “How long did you live here?”

“Eight months. Leah came to stay with me when she returned from college in May, then I left in August.” Bella’s fingers were running lightly through my hair making my dick spring to action.

Pulling her hips I twisted our bodies so that she was laying on the bed with me looking down at her. Our lips met briefly until I pulled away trailing soft kisses down the length of her neck. A soft sigh escaped her while one leg wrapped around my hip anchoring my body to hers. Bella’s hand cupped the sides of my face directing me back to her waiting lips in kiss that was full of promise.

Shifting my weight evenly over her body, both of her legs hugged my hips securing our centers together. Bella wiggled under me with a grinding motion against my hard-on that made me groan into her mouth. The answering moan from her only served to make our tongues work more furiously as I thrust my dick against her core. My hands moved along her ribs to capture both breasts while my thumbs manipulated her firm nipples. I would have loved to have taken her, except for the voices carrying through the house from the kitchen. Besides that, every little movement caused the bed to squeak.

That was going to be a problem

Pulling back from Bella’s mouth was an exercise in control. Leaning over Bella’s soft, warm inviting body looking down into her desire filled eyes, was not making the process of calming down any easier.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” the husky sound of my voice was laden with want but her breathy answer held just as much longing, “Only for you.”

“Damn straight, only for me” our lips met again but this time we both had more control. When we parted my hands moved up to hold her face while I looked deep into her eyes.

“Mine…all mine”

The knock on the door made us sit up to appear respectable as Bella announced, “Come in.”

Seth opened the door slowly taking in our positions, “Sorry I forgot something.”

While he went to the dresser I followed Bella out into the kitchen where Jacob was leaning against the counter with yet another man I hadn’t met. After being introduced to Paul – Jacob’s brother in law - I was offered a beer and stood with the two of them as Seth came back out of his room.

Bella was standing with Leah talking about some picture which Leah went into the bedroom to get. When she brought it out Bella looked at the framed photo hugged her sister then beamed at me before bringing it over. It was the one of us at Mt. Rainer when we were in the snow. I was holding Bella with her legs straddled around my waist, but the picture was a close up of our faces. We had just kissed and Bella had her head tilted up while my teeth bit onto her chin. The photo was done in a black and white finish capturing the moment in perfect clarity. Even to the point where I could see melting snow in my hair from when Bella squashed a snowball on me. Leah did a great job with the photo; it was loving yet very sexually suggestive.

“Hey dude that’s my sister,” the playful warning in Seth’s tone was comical; however Leah didn’t find it funny.

“After what I walked in on Wednesday you should be quiet.”

“What happened?” Bella’s question seemed innocent enough but Seth’s groan and Leah’s harsh retort told everyone in the room that the question shouldn’t have been asked.

“He was fucking Tracy on the couch!”

“I was not fucking her!” Seth announced while Paul inquired of Jacob, “They were fucking on the couch?”

Seth’s eyes moved quickly to Paul and then back to his sister while Bella wondered aloud, “Did you have a sheet down or at least turn over the cushions?…I don’t want to be sitting on…”

“Oh, that’s a lot of help Bella!” the venom in Leah’s voice was clear as day.

“What would you like me to say Leah?” Bella asked sarcastically.

“Don’t encourage him,” she spit back as Bella tried using logic, “He’s eighteen years old,” while Seth announced, “For the last time, I was not fucking her on the couch. Fifteen more minutes and I might have been.”

It might have been dropped there if Paul would have remained quiet instead of antagonizing Seth with his assessment, “And five minutes after that it would have been all over.”

“Fuck you asshole! I keep my woman happy!”

“Oh…just fucking great, this is going to be a wonderful weekend. I’m all round and pregnant, no matter how I lay down I can’t get comfortable and I’m going to have to listen to my little brother screwing some toe-Tae in the living room and you,” she pointed to Bella, “doing …I don’t even want to know what you do…in the other room.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Bella questioned as Seth became offended about the toe-Tae crack, which I was pretty sure meant whore, while he once again said that they were not fucking. Bella however grew slightly indignant, “And if you can’t lie down, then bend over and take it from the back. Lord only knows you could probably use the tension release.”

Leah’s face got redder than I ever thought possible with her skin tone, “I choose refinement over indignity …”

“Indignity? Is that comment directed at me?”

Leah looked smug as she asked, “Why do you have a guilty conscience?”

Bella put her hands on her hips glaring at her sister, “What exactly is your problem Leah? I haven’t seen you in…”

“And whose fault is that Bella?”

I watched as Bella tried to reign in her anger, “I have called you almost every day but you don’t…”

“You know you’re not the only one who has a life. I’m pregnant...”

“I know,” Bella interrupted. “I held the stick so you could pee on it,” she announced while Seth added, “Ewww…that’s gross.”

Both women looked at him with a warning that he had better shut up.

“All I’m saying Bella is that you were supposed to help me, we were going to paint the baby’s room together, you were going to go with me to Lamaze…” I could see tears forming in Leah’s eyes and Bella’s voice softened.

“Then let’s paint the room.”

The emotion that Leah felt passed because she was angry again. “It’s already done Bella, I did it two weeks ago while you were off getting your picture taken!” She slammed her hand down on the table where Bella had laid the photo.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Wait for when? When? You’re always off doing things, or you have…” Leah glared darkly speaking through pursed lips, “…weekend schedules and Wednesday night schedules…” there were four people in the room who knew exactly what Leah was talking about. “So you tell me Bella, when were you going to do it? Between the trips you take, family dinners, and going to that club, when?”

“I would have made time, all you had to do was tell me.” Bella got quiet for a moment then began again, “You know Leah, I’m not going to feel bad about this, you’re the one who kept saying ‘Gee Bella you need a man, some hard hot cock in ya’…”

Seth interrupted, “ohhh…I don’t want to hear this” while Paul who after taking a drink of his beer announced, “I do.”

“Shut up,” Jacob growled while Bella continued with what she was saying, “You’re the one who talked me in to going to the club, even forced Jake to take me.”

Leah didn’t get to answer because Seth spoke up, “Hey did you ever hear of that club New Moon?” every head in the room turned to look at him. “I tried to get in there, and this really big guy…I mean he was fucking ginormous…wouldn’t let me in, he said you had to be member.”

“When the fuck did you go to New Moon?” Jacob asked what I was thinking.

Seth shrugged, “Last month when we were there for senior weekend.”

Leah just couldn’t let it go, “There you go Bella, now you can corrupt our little brother.”

That was uncalled for and I was going to say something but Jacob grabbed my shoulder shaking his head in a reminder to let the sisters work it out themselves. Seth must have picked up on what Leah meant because he looked directly at Bella, “Can you take me?”

That was not the best question to ask because both women looked at him and shouted a resounding, “No!”

“I was just asking,” the whiny teenager had made an appearance. With that Jacob tapped me on the shoulder tilting his head towards the door, telling me to follow him outside. That was probably for the best because something told me the argument was going to get a lot worse and more personal.

Leaning up against the truck I watched Paul shut the door then join us carrying three more beers. Even with the door closed the high pitched angry voices could be detected. While we waited outside talking about nothing of importance a woman came through the woods and walked over to join us. She was tall with lighter skin tones but the same long black hair and dark eyes. As she said hello - tentatively glancing at the house - Jacob introduced me saying she was Emily. I had remembered Bella mentioning an Emily but I couldn’t remember who she was. Then she said that Sam had asked her to deliver a message to Charlie, and I recalled that she was Sam’s wife.

Emily looked back at the house, “What’s going on?”

“Leah and Bella have some things to discuss,” Jacob said with a shrug.

“Are you going to stop them?” she asked in disbelief as Jacob shook his head, “No fucking way, that’s between the sisters.”

Emily huffed in horror as she turned to head into the house. Once she was inside an SUV turned in off the road. Paul chuckled as Jacob leaned back taking a drink of his beer. The vehicle parked next to my car and I watched as a middle aged woman with shoulder length black hair get out of the passenger side carrying a casserole dish. Looking at her I knew immediately who it was – Sue – she approached us with a smile leaning in to kiss Jacob’s cheek the turned her attention to me. “Hello, you must be Edward?”

“Yes ma’am,” she smiled at me then looked towards the house while the man who I had to guess was Charlie stood between Jacob and Paul.

“What’s going on in there?” His gruff voice was completely bewildered.

“Leah and Bella are fighting,” Jacob explained while Sue declared ,“It’s about time,” she looked around at the three of us aksing, “Where is Seth?”

“He’s still in the house,” Paul informed her.

Sue shook her head muttering, “Stupid boy,” before heading inside. Charlie continued to stand there watching his wife open the door yelling, “Ladies!”

“UH!” Charlie huffed. “What the dickens are they fighting about?”

Jacob shrugged, “I don’t know…it’s just a bunch of little stuff that got all blown up.”

“Now that’s not really true,” Paul interjected. “There seems to be an imbalance between your daughters. It would appear to the outside that Leah is pregnant and therefore not getting any sex, and Bella is not and gets lots of it.”

“W…W…What?!” Charlie stammered, Jacob choked on his beer while I stared in horror, as Paul tapped Charlie on the shoulder looking at me with a grin, “Charlie, have you met Edward?”

Charlie’s attention turned to me, in his face I could see some of Bella’s chin and cheek bones but what truly stuck out was the color of his eyes, they were nothing but Bella. Taking a step forward I held out my hand, “Nice to meet you sir, I’m Edward Cullen.”

Charlie just stared at my outstretched hand.

So much for first impressions.

Chapter 57

BPOV

The muscles in my thighs ached from the combination of the tension I was holding along with the position my lower body was in. The spreader bar between my ankles held my legs open while the rope attached to the bar raised them high in the air. The stiffness came from the way my body seized up as the last orgasm overtook me. My arms stretched above my head left me at the mercy of my Master who had his head between my legs refusing to stop his torturous deeds.

Trying to squirm away was futile, the most I could do was thrash my shoulders about as Edward held my hips in a death lock. My body was one massive quivering tingle and every swirl of his tongue added to it. His fingers moving inside me only served to tease by not applying enough pressure while my cries and moans were muffled around the ball gag in my mouth. I wanted the ordeal to stop yet at the same time to never end.

Torture

His fingers moved more forcefully against me as I felt his thumb against my rear entrance causing me to moan against the rubber ball in my mouth while something touched my face. It was feathery soft making me jerk my head away. The wispy touch was back causing my attention to drift from what Edward was doing. Groaning in frustration my head jerked again to nudge it away, only to be met with the sound of laughter.

My arms were suddenly loose allowing me to swat at whatever was being such a nuisance. The laughter drew louder as I realized my legs were no longer restrained and my eyes fluttered open.
This time a real groan left my mouth as I realized that I had been dreaming. Edward laughed once more looking down at me from the bed.

“Good morning Isabella,” the twinkle in his eye made me wonder what he found so humorous as I stretched out on the surprisingly comfortable duvet that was my bed for the night. “Mmmm…Good morning Master.”

I wasn’t exactly sure how much longer we were going to stay in our roles but since he called me Isabella I thought it safer to use his title. The tug of the leash told me that was the correct assessment to make.

“Come up here sweet girl.”

It wasn’t a hard forceful tug but it did leave me no choice but to comply. As I moved, the soreness in my vag was very apparent, making me wince as it felt like my girly bits had participated in a triathlon – which I guess they did.

Lying on his side, Edward held the blanket up with one arm giving me a silent invitation to crawl in next to him. Snuggled into his side our legs entwined together while his strong, warm arms wrapped around my back holding me close to him. My head resting on his shoulder the smell of his skin flooding my senses. There was nothing that compared to his heady scent, it was intoxicating and I found myself inhaling deeply trying to draw more of it in.

Edward sighed kissing the top of my head, “I missed you in my bed last night.”

He didn’t mean it in a spiteful way it truly was meant as a statement of fact, but those simple words wounded me. Where last night I had been too exhausted to even think about why I slept apart from him. In the morning light I realized that my actions had not only kept me away from him, but also him from me. His words from the first time we sat in his kitchen came back to me.

‘Your punishments will inconvenience or deter in some form my enjoyment of you’, the tears I was too tired to shed the night before, came.

“No Isabella,” he held me a little tighter, placing another kiss on my head. “Don’t cry my pet.”

I sniffled, “Your girl is sorry Master.”

“I know she is.”

“You always say that,” at my words he pulled back tipping my chin up making me look into his soft green eyes.

“I say that because it’s true. You have come so far and advanced faster than I could have hoped, but you are still so new to this and still learning. That doesn’t even matter though, twenty years from now, if we’re still doing this, you’re going to mess up. That’s just a fact. Ask Jane, she still does something that earns her a punishment every now and then. So I know you’re sorry, if you weren’t sorry this would all be a game, and I don’t want to play games.”

He wiped the pad of his thumb under my eye catching the last of the moisture, “So no more tears Isabella. It’s over, it’s done, we move on with both of us learning from it. Right?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

I smiled back, “Right.”

“Good,” he announced tucking my head back against his chest. “Now, tell me about your dream.”

My face heated up and I wondered how he knew, then blushed even more as I realized that I must have been talking about it in my sleep.

“What dream?” I asked as innocently as possible while he once again tipped my chin up.

“Don’t play coy with me young lady. You were down there moaning and squirming so much that if I didn’t know you would be sore, I would have joined you and made that dream a reality”

Oh …I knew my sleep talking gave me away

Then something occurred to me, “How did you know I was sore?”

“Who was sore?”

I sighed at my own stupidity, Edward gave me strange look but I corrected my question, “Your girl, how did you know she was sore?”

Pursing his lips Edward leaned on his elbow looking down at me. “Isabella, give me a little bit of credit. You had a rope up against the most delicate tissue on your body for hours, add in all of the grinding you were doing…” my mouth dropped open at the words, “…of course you’re going to be tender. In fact, I’ll need to have a look at it, but first you’re going to tell me about that dream, because I’m afraid this collar,” he tugged on the leash I had forgotten was there. “will not be removed until you do.”

Oh my word….He’s such a cheater

I didn’t remember that being in the contract, using the status of my collar as a ransom to get information. I’m going to have to re-read that thing.

In the mean time Edward was waiting for my answer. He listened to the recounting of the dream with extreme interest; it was as if my subconscious was trying to tell him something. Which I suppose was completely feasible; from the look on his face something told me that my dream just might become reality.

Edward had me put my feet flat on the bed, spreading my knees so he could access my vag. Laying there on the bed looking up at the ceiling while he inspected every minuscule detail was humiliating, which is completely ridiculous considering that Edward has been up close and personal with that part of my anatomy on numerous occasions, but it left me feeling…weird. It was like going to the GYN lying there searching the ceiling for anything that would take my mind off of what was happening; probing the recesses of my mind to find something to talk about that would eradicate the uncomfortable feeling.

“Stay right there,” he said patting my leg before moving to get off the bed and heading into the bathroom. He was only in there a few seconds, coming back to the bed with a warm soft cloth which he laid against my core gently cleaning me.

“Is it bad?” I couldn’t help but wonder and thought about asking for a mirror so I could see for myself but Edward shook his head looking unconcerned. “No, I’m just going to clean it, put new ointment on, and you should be good as new by tomorrow.”

Ignoring the last comment I relaxed thinking about what I wanted to know. “Master may this girl ask you a question?”

“Go ahead,” he said not looking at me while opening the ointment.

“It’s about the dream,” his eyes moved to my face for a second before going back to what he was doing while I continued. “This one was wondering about the gag?”

“What about it Isabella?” the touch of his fingers applying the ointment felt so good I think I purred.

“You haven’t used one yet. Your girl was wondering why that was?” Maybe it was a stupid question. In all honesty the thought of being gagged worries me slightly, yet I know that for most couples a gag is fairly standard equipment.

Edward patted my thigh, “All done. Take the ointment with you today, to reapply as needed.”

“Thank you Master.” Taking my hands he pulled me to a sitting position where he checked the side of my breasts for the rope marks that were no longer there. Leaning over he placed a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re welcome. We only have half an hour. So are you ready to remove this?” He asked running his finger over the black collar.

Giving him a small smile and a nod I told him ‘yes’ figuring that he wasn’t going to answer my question. Edward shifted his body to sit behind me and with my hair still in the braids it didn’t take him long to unfasten the buckle. When it was off I felt his lips on the back of my neck but not against my skin, it was on the locking mechanism of my silver collar. The kiss was a simple act that spoke volumes of his devotion to me and our relationship.

“We’re not ready for gags yet Bella, they will come in due time. For now it’s just you, me, and the control each of us has.” His head turned to the clock on the nightstand. “Let’s get ready, we’ll need to have our after session discussion in the car.”

I didn’t completely understand what Edward meant by the control thing and I figured that it was a moot point because he wasn’t going to elaborate any further, at least not at that time. Because of our bath the night before, going through my morning routine was quick. Fifteen minutes later I was dressed as Edward had suggested with my hair in a French Braid down the center of my back. He walked around picking up the ropes, toys, and other remnants of our session while I straightened out the bed along with removing the traces of my sleeping area.

Still having no clue as to what Edward had planned for the day, my curiousity only intensified when he told me not to bring my purse. He did however ask for my phone and ID which was put into a backpack along with the camera. Seth was ready to get outside, stopping three times to do his business before we got to the car. Edward wanted to get him settled into the doggy-daycare before we did anything else.

I was expecting some kind of a facility but it turned out to be in a woman’s house. There were two other dogs there, who after the initial sniff and greet didn’t seem to pay any attention to Seth. The woman, Kelly, who was in charge assured me that he would be fine but it was still hard to leave him there. I know he’s a dog, but he’s also my baby and I didn’t like leaving him with strangers.

“What if the other dogs are mean to him?” I asked Edward while he held the car door open for me.

I could see him trying not to laugh but his lips twitched giving away his amusement at my worry. “He’ll be fine Bella. You saw the other dogs; they smelled his ass and walked away. If there was going to be any fighting it would have happened then.”

“Well I don’t want them to ignore him either,” I said, voicing more concern while sitting in the seat pulling the belt over my shoulder.

“I’m sure that if any of the others are not completely polite they will go in time-out.” As he went to shut the door he added, “Maybe he’ll meet a bitch and get lucky.”

Gasping as the door shut I watched Edward walk around the front of the car chuckling to himself. I glared at him in disbelief while he put on his own seatbelt. “Are you trying to get my baby laid?”

“That costs extra Bella.” Unsure if he was serious or not I continued to glare until he laughed, “I’m kidding …I swear!” he added holding his right hand up while he continued to laugh. “Are we ready to go now, or do you want to go back in there and put some kind of chastity belt on him?”

I tisked, “I’m ready.” We did need to go but I couldn’t help watching the front of the house as we drove away.

Edward drove us towards the downtown area stopping in front of the Dutch Bakery. They had full sit down service, however due to our time crunch we each got a coffee and danish to go. It took a few extra minutes because of the variety they offered. Edward chose a simple apricot but I couldn’t make up my mind finally picking a mixed berry cheese which they warmed up. When we got down to the harbor we had twenty minutes to wait and my mouth was watering from the aroma of the sweet cake.

Edward took the lid off his coffee while I took a bite of the danish, moaning as the sweet gooey goodness melted in my mouth. The mixture of berries was a perfect balance between sweet and tangy with a thin layer of warm yummy cheese and sweet drizzle.

“MMMmmmmnnnn,” I think my eyes rolled to the back of my head. When I opened my eyes Edward was looking at me licking his bottom lip. “What?”

He kind of shook his head as if trying to come out of a daze before taking a drink of coffee. “Last night was good?”

“Uh huh,” I nodded as I swallowed. “Last night was great. I was a little worried when I saw the leash.”

Edward cleared his throat, “Well, you shouldn’t have been looking, your eyes are to remain down not searching the room.”

I sighed, “I know, but when you put it down on the table all I could think about was when you were going to put it on me.” He looked…stunned, so I figured it would be a good idea to explain. “Not that I wanted to walk around in public, and I will admit it panicked me a little, but it kind of excited me too.” Taking a drink of coffee I asked the question I really wanted to know.

“Sooo…is the leash only for when I have been…inattentive?” truly hoping that wasn’t the case but unsure because he had said something about keeping me under meticulous observation.

“No,” shaking his head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have introduced it under those circumstances but I thought it appropriate at the time. Besides, as I said, it’s to keep you close to me either in a physical sense or in a mental way.”

I understood what he was saying because although the leash kept me very close to him it was a still as if that piece of nylon was an extension of him. His hold on me, the control he held, his love and concern, all in one symbol that Edward held in his hand. That was kind of a strange revelation to me, one that I would have to reflect on later in the solitude of my journal.

The sound of his voice broke through my thoughts, “The restaurant?”

My face heated up as I thought about what happened, what I did and enjoyed so very much, like I was some kind of depraved sexual deviant. My blush made Edward chuckle as I felt the back of his fingers run across my cheek, “You cannot imagine how much I love that blush.”

His words only making me heat up more while glancing at him bashfully and biting my lip. “The restaurant was great, the food was fantastic…”

I knew he wasn’t talking about the cuisine as he waited for me to say what he wanted to know. I said the first thing that came to my mind, “I didn’t yellow?” it came out like a question which Edward answered with a sly smile, “No, you didn’t. Why not?”

“I didn’t need to. You were there so I knew everything would be alright.” That was the best way for me to sum up what I was feeling at the time. That answer seemed to be the right one as a knowing grin formed on his face. I thought I would go on telling him about the apprehensions that I had.

“At first I was a little worried and I thought about saying ‘yellow’ especially when the waiter came over the first time, but then you talked me through that initial anxiety.” He nodded, eating the last bite of his danish, so I continued with my thoughts. “I will admit that if my chair would have been facing the other way and I had to actually see all those people,” I sighed at just the thought. “But since the only person I could see was you, it was easier to let myself go.”

And I did let myself go. I’d had an orgasm in public before – if the club counts as public – but Edward had been holding me then, talking me through it. This time he was there but I was on my own, left to my own devices to control myself. I certainly would not have wanted the whole restaurant to know what I was doing, but the fact that I was following my Master’s orders and pleasing him put everything in a different light.

Every time the bullet turned on an upsurge of desire ran through me and the shame of my immoral actions caused me to rub myself harder against the knot. It was daunting, exciting, and made me feel wicked in a way that I had never felt before. And I am ashamed to admit, even to myself, that by the end of the night I found myself wanting Edward to make me perform in front of the waiter. That last thought worried me because I wasn’t sure what that said about who I was, or more to the point who I thought I was.

Edward placed his hand on my knee, “What’s the matter?”

He reads me so well that I knew there would be no way I could avoid his question, and yet I needed a moment to get my thoughts together. Taking another bite of my danish, Edward gave me the time I needed but I still couldn’t look at him as I spoke.

“Do…is there …” I didn’t want to ask if he thought there was something the matter with me, so I just told him the truth. “I became so much more turned on when the waiter was at the table. I mean you were there, but when he came over it was like…” I looked at his face to see the reaction he had, “…my adrenaline spiked and…ahhh.” I actually moaned while talking about it because it was making my clit tingle at the thought.

“Bella,” he quickly looked at his watch and then back to me. “We’ve talked about this before. You’re an exhibitionist, that doesn’t make you sick or disgusting. It’s just who you are. That little bit of extra excitement you feel from someone being there, whether they are aware of what you’re doing or not, intensifies the experience. The act becomes so much more enjoyable; and let’s face it, there is no sense in doing something you don’t enjoy.”

Edward threw his empty coffee cup into the bag that had held the danishes. “That’s why we have these discussions Bella, to get your true reaction so that I know what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If there was something that made you so uncomfortable to the point of you didn’t find any satisfaction in it at all, that would be an activity that I would need to rethink or back off and move slower with. It’s all about mutual pleasure and finding a baseline and building from that point. I’m not saying that you are going to be creaming in your panties over everything that we do. There are going to be something’s that you don’t find as pleasurable as others. But there should always be a small amount of enjoyment in every act. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yeah I do,” and I did.

Edward got out of the car and came over to open my door; I stepped out and into his open arms. He understood me in ways that I didn’t even understand myself, and found me acceptable. Edward made me feel whole, cherished, and unconditionally loved.

The thing that surprised me about that realization was that it didn’t scare me. I could give myself to him wholeheartedly, safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t feel like I had to be constantly on guard worrying about him seeing the real me, because he’s seen me and loves me in spite of all the quirks.

My eyes were closed while I let the warmth of his embrace surround me and I became lost in the feel of his strength, the beating of his heart and the scent coming off his skin, then he tugged on my braid making me lift my chin. Edward’s eyes were a shade of emerald green staring into my soul; lifting up on my toes he tilted his head to meet my lips and his arms were still wrapped tightly around my back, pinning me to his body.

A small whimper left me at the feel of his tongue against mine. He tasted like coffee, apricots and Edward. He straightened his back to break the kiss but I wasn’t ready. My arms that had been against his chest wrapped around his neck and I practically climbed up his body to keep the connection. He had no alternative but to hold me tighter to him so I didn’t fall while our mouths worked against each other.

We kissed until I needed to come up for air. When we pulled apart both of us were breathless and there was a twinkle in his eye that told me I affected him the same way he did me. With a chuckle he set me back down, “Ahh…my little exhibitionist, what am I going to do with you?”

“Ummm…fuck me?” I asked with a hopeful grin, which Edward returned “Later…Come on, our bus should be here soon.”

Bus?

With his arm draped around my shoulder we walked towards the harbor where the ferry comes in. Half a dozen people were standing there all dressed the same as us. Edward walked us over to the guy holding a clip board giving his name, and after checking the list the guy handed him two tickets that Edward stuck into his pocket. A few minutes later four more guys came over to the group, they were all a little younger than me, dressed in the same casual attire.

I tried to figure out what we were doing by looking at the group of people. Two girls stood together drinking coffee casting glances at Edward. But I was more than happy that their attention seemed to be on the group of guys behind us. Then there was a group of four people who were closer to my dad’s age - mid-forties – not at all athletic looking, but not excessively overweight either. They were laughing and taking pictures of each other, the whole group of us was like an eclectic melting pot that offered me no clue as to our destination.

Just as I was about to ask Edward once again what we were doing, the bus pulled up. It wasn’t really a bus but a red fifteen passenger van that had an ‘AdrenaLine’ logo on the side of it.

AdrenaLine…where had I heard that before?

Looking up at Edward he smiled giving me a wink before ushering me into the van. We sat towards the back of the van with Edward by the window, putting me in the middle with one of the young guys sitting on the end. The driver opened the door, took a head count and then introduced himself as Jay. He asked if we were all ready to get started and told us that it was about a thirty-five minute ride until we got to the ‘compound.’

Compound?

The van started and since Edward wouldn’t give me any information, I thought I would let him know how it felt. “By the way there is something I really didn’t like at all.”

The look I got was a mixture of the three ‘C’s’- Confusion, Concern, and Curiosity. I knew he was wondering why I brought up the subject in a van full of people. Exhibitionist tendencies aside, it really was not a good place to have a frank discussion. The concern was why I let it go, why I didn’t safe word or tell him in the car. But it was his curiosity that I was enjoying so much.

“What was it?” his hushed tone was amusing.

“I’ll tell you later,” his gasp of surprise was one thing, but the glare he gave me was too just too funny and I giggled.

“Ok …” he admitted with a resigned look. “I see what you’re doing.”

My resounding giggle drew the attention of the guy sitting next to me. I could feel his eyes on me, turning in his direction I smiled warmly.

“Hi,” he held out his hand. “I’m Jeff.”

Shaking his hand I offered, “Bella.” In a show of not being crude Jeff reached in front of me to introduce himself to Edward. The three other guys in Jeff’s group turned in their seats introducing themselves as well. They were all college students off for the summer and backpacking their way through Washington. The one guy in front of me said that they had started in the peninsula and brought the ferry over early this morning to do this trip. I still didn’t get any information but we struck up a conversation about Forks. They thought the area was beautiful with a lot of lush greenery and mentioned that they had stayed at a campground by LaPush.
All that talking reminded me that we would be going to Forks the next day, filling me with the same mixed feelings of dread and longing that I always got whenever I went back there.

Edward’s hand squeezed mine making me look at his face; he must have known what I was feeling because a small smile played at his lips before he kissed the top of my head whispering in my ear. “It will be nice to see your family Bella.”

“Yeah … it will,” I agreed half-heartedly.

Turning off the road, the van came to a stop in front of log cabin. When we got the large sign over the building told me what we were going to be doing.

AdrenaLine – Zip Cording

I was filled with nervous excitement, “We’re going zip cording?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Taking my hand we followed the rest into the cabin where Edward gave our tickets and we were given a harness, black safety goggles, and a hard hat before being led into another room to watch the instructional film.

The film went over the safety features of the harness, the dos and don’ts, along with a brief description of the zip-line course. The whole thing would take about two hours and began with what they called the virgin run. It was a one hundred and thirty foot line that was thirty feet off the ground and would give everyone a chance to try out the harness before going up to the real course.

We would be separated into groups of six, driven in a jeep up the mountain and then hike about a half of mile to the main area where we would be walking and zipping among the tree tops. The heights ranged from seventy-five to one hundred and fifty feet high, with the lines spanning from two hundred to a thousand feet in length. The video said that we would be reaching speeds of sixty miles per hour, walking across wooded suspension bridges and enjoying majestic views of the Olympic mountain ranges of Washington.

Oh Boy

The nervous excitement was overwhelming as we split up into two groups. Edward and I ended up going with the four older people who we found out were two sisters and their husbands. They lived on the East Coast coming out here on a cruise from Alaska, stopping in port for the day and doing the zip-cording as an excursion.

Our guides name was Colin; he was around thirty with a baby face that still had ruggedness to it. Edward helped me with my harness and I was never so thankful that my man was an expert at using restraints as I was at that moment. If I was going to dangle a hundred and fifty feet in the air, I was going to make damn sure my harness was secure.

Both groups walked outside to take a turn at the virgin run. According to the video it wasn’t hard, all I had to do was clip the hook on the harness into the giant pulley wheel, sit into the harness, lift my legs and slide across the line.

Nothing to it…Easy - Peasy

I was slightly nervous but it wasn’t that far across and there was a net strung the whole length only about five feet underneath the line. Colin was there to show me exactly where to attach the hook and Edward had already gone so he was waiting on the other side. Taking a deep breath with my legs out in front of me I slid right across the line with a big smile on my face straight into my mans arms.

“Not so hard.” I agreed with Edward, “No, it was fun.”

The jeep ride was more like a bouncy all-terrain four by four expedition up the mountain on a bumpy curvy dirt road into the middle of the forest. The whole top was open with roll bars going across that I had to hold on to for fear I was going to be tossed out. After reaching the top the six of us got out, following Colin up a dirt path taking us deeper into the woods.

Edward walked behind me part of the way but as the terrain became more uneven he moved to the front, taking my hand to steady me. Throughout the walk Colin continued to talk, asking where everyone was from and making general conversation in an attempt to be both friendly as well as calming. We walked at a leisurely pace for about twenty minutes stopping once to take pictures. I wasn’t sure exactly how Edward and I were going to look in the goggles and hard hats but it would be memorable.

We came to a set of steep wooden stairs that reached to the top of a very tall tree that lead to a platform that seemed to be sticking out the top of the tree. I could feel my heart race with each step, by the time I reached the top the excitement was gone and I was running on pure panic.

“Oh my god…” I gasped looking over the railing, “…that’s really high!”

“Seventy-five feet Bella,” Colin announced. “It’s half the height of the screamer.”

Yeah that wasn’t helping me

A nervous giggle broke out as I heard the scream from Pam while she moved across the line. Edward’s hand wrapped around my waist, “Come on, where’s that brave girl that jumped off a cliff?”

“You jumped off a cliff Bella?” Colin asked while I kept looking down nodding, “Yeah…but into the ocean.”

“Look babe, there’s a net down there.” There was a net, it was really far down and when I looked back up the other four had already gone. “Should I go first?”

“Nooo…no, don’t leave me up here,” taking a deep breath I walked to the edge. “I’ll go first.”
I swallowed hard while hooking on the harness and I heard Colin say I was ready and just as I was going to sit down my feet wouldn’t lift up.

“Wait...wait…wait…” turning my head to look at Edward pleading, “…kiss me.”

He grinned with a chuckle leaning down to for a quick kiss, “Who kissed you when you jumped off the cliff?”

“Ummm…Jared,” his growl made me giggle. “Ok…I’m ready.”

Taking a deep breath I did exactly as I had before. Sliding across the line from one tree top to the other, it was an amazing experience and I was so proud of myself that I didn’t scream. It didn’t take long to get to the other side and once my feet were on the platform I couldn’t wait to get to the next line to do it again.

Edward was the last person- except for Colin- once he unhooked his harness I practically jumped him in my excitement. “That was awesome!”

“It was,” he agreed hugging me back before we went down the few steps to the rest of our group.

Colin had rejoined us leading the way to the next line which was longer but the same height. It felt like nothing releasing myself off the platform and I even turned around going backwards so Edward could take my picture. The next thing we came to was the suspension bridge and only one person could cross at a time. It was higher off the ground with a dip in the middle and only about eighteen inches wide with cords running along the sides that you could hold on to. It was a little frightening but not too much. By the time we had gotten to the fifth line – the screamer – I was so comfortable with what to do that there was no hesitation at all. The thousand foot line gave enough time to get up to high speeds and I did scream; not out of fear but from exhilaration.

We had taken a bunch of pictures including one of Edward hanging upside down, I wasn’t that brave. The boldest I got was to hold onto the harness with one hand. We also took scenic photos including one of Edward and me with the Olympic Mountain Range behind us, which was the one I was hoping to have framed.

When we finished with the last zip-cord, the course had brought us back to the beginning point where we had gotten into the Jeep. We had an hour and a half before the van took us back to Victoria so the whole group went to the restaurant for lunch. By the time we left there it seemed like everyone was old friends laughing and exchanging cameras to show the pictures they had taken. The two girls appeared to have made friends with the boys making plans on the way back to get together later, even offering them a place to sleep for the night, which I believed they were going to take them up on.

They all seemed so care free, which I suppose is what they were. I had never gotten that chance when I was in college, not that there was any regret on my part. Partying with strange men or getting drunk on the weekends was never my forte. Out of need, I was always cautious making sure that my responsibilities were handled before there was time for myself. But since I’ve been with Edward I’ve come to realize that my happiness should be important too, and he made me so very happy.

Holding the door open for me to get into the car I stepped close to him wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. “Thank you. I think that was the best thing I ever did.”

“The best thing?” doubt clouded his voice.

“Ok…the best thing with my clothes on,” I admitted while turning to get into the car.

“That’s better,” he agreed with a swat to my bottom.

Picking up Seth didn’t take very long at all. He was excited to see us and I have to admit it did my heart good to know that he missed us so much. We were handed a detailed sheet of all the activities they did with him. Edward gave over his credit card to pay while I put his leash on. I tried to ignore what was being said, because I didn’t even want to know how much it cost to keep him all day.

While Edward was opening our room door, the couple who was staying next door passed us in the hall. They both eyed us up and down with a look of distain. I kept watching them wondering why but Edward seemed to find their actions amusing, chuckling while pushing open the door.

“What was that about?” My question must have been funny because he laughed harder as I took the leash off Seth, who immediately went to lay down in his bed. “Edward?”

“I thought they had gone out,” the words were mixed in with laughter but I still didn’t understand what he meant, until he added, “I guess we were a little loud.”

“How loud?” not that I cared if people heard us but it would be nice to know what the nasty looks were from.

“Well,” he started while emptying the contents of the backpack. “Let’s see...the bed was banging, Seth was howling, you were screaming, and I was busy smacking your ass to keep you from cumming...which by the way, you never thanked me for.”

All I could do was stare at him in disbelief, where was I when all this was going on? “No wonder they looked at us like that…they were jealous.”

Edward burst out laughing, making me laugh with him as he wrapped me in a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too …and thanks for smacking my ass.” I was laughing so hard tears were in my eyes.

“Anytime baby,” our laughter was dying down as Edward asked me, “What do you want to do now?”

“I really want to take a long hot soak in that tub.”

“Go ahead, I’ll start a fire?” I nodded in agreement heading into the bathroom.

It felt really good to take my hair out of the braid it had been in and even better to get into the hot water. A few minutes later Edward had come in with a glass of wine in his hand for me. He asked if I wanted to go anywhere special for dinner, but I really just wanted to go to a pub and relax for the evening. That idea was fine with him and he left me saying that he wanted to make our ferry reservation and email Alice to get the information for the hotel at the beach.

Leaning back against the wall of the tub I finished the wine and let the hot water relax me. At some point I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew Edward was lifting me out of the water. With a towel laid over my body he laid me in the bed and covered me, saying that he was going to take a shower. It was so warm I closed my eyes snuggling into the comfortable softness. I didn’t go back to sleep but I was very relaxed until the sounds of Edward moving around the room stirred my attention.

Rolling over I watched while he pulled his boxers up over his sculptured ass. Watching Edward dress was just about as arousing as watching him undress. He must have sensed my gaze because he turned around to smirk at me. “What are you doing?”

“Getting up,” removing the blankets Edward stopped me “Wait Bella, I want to check how you’re healing.”

Damn

I tried to tell him that it was better but it was no use, he wanted to check for himself. Placing my feet flat on the bed Edward settled between my legs to perform the examination. Putting my arm over my eyes I took some deep breaths, not really wanting to think about what he was doing. His hand took a hold of mine placing it on the bed while his eyes bore into mine.

It felt like forever that he just stared at me before finally speaking, “This is what you don’t like.”

He wasn’t asking and I don’t know why in the world it brought tears to my eyes but it did. He didn’t give me a chance to respond before asking, “What bothers you about it?”

I shrugged because I really didn’t know.

“Close your eyes.” I did as he asked. “Now, tell me what you’re feeling.”

I could feel the tension in my chest as all the muscles constricted while the tears spilled down my cheeks.

“a...afraid…I’m so afraid….he hurt me…so b..ad!” The words spilled out of my mouth with such force that I had no idea where those feelings came from. I wasn’t feeling afraid, just anxious. But there they were and in a matter of seconds I was a crying sniveling mess. Strong arms wrapped around me in an armor of protection holding me securely in his lap, “Shhh…it’s ok baby, I got you. He’s never going to hurt you again.”

“I’m…I’m …sssorry…I didn’t …mean…to be…” unable to get the words out Edward kept rubbing his hand down my arm in a soothing manor.

“Shhh…don’t Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for…shhhh…just relax.”

Edward held me on his lap until my breathing returned to normal then laid down along side of me, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at me. A look of concern filled his eyes while his fingers brushed the hair from of my face. “Are you alright?”

Nodding I reached up to take his hand in mine, there was something he had to know, “I’m not afraid of you.”

“I know,” he squeezed my hand. “It was the memory of something you are afraid of, or maybe you were afraid of it. Come on babe, you’re the Psych major, you know all about this. It might be the position, the act, the timing, or some combination of all three.”

I did know that, and there were many times that James had me in that position doing painful things to my body. Maybe Edward was right and it had more to do with the timing due to our trip to Forks- that I keep pushing to the back of my mind- than anything else. “Why am I still so damn afraid?”

“Baby I think no matter what good memories you have from your earlier childhood, the last few years you lived there held nothing but terror and that’s what is sticking with you. I think you need to go there and make some new…good memories. Does that make sense?”

“Like a rebirth?” my hushed words were met by his smile and calm answer, “yeah…something like that.”

We lay there quietly while Edward held me and after a few minutes he asked if I was ready to get dressed, so we could take Seth for a walk and then get a later dinner. I nodded in agreement, sitting up to get off the bed he handed me the ointment telling me to apply it one more time. My face was blotchy from crying so I washed it with some cool water before doing my hair and applying a little makeup. Basic face powder, blush and mascara were all that was needed. The last thing I did was pee and clean myself – noticing that the tenderness was dissipating – before applying a thin layer of ointment.

Wanting to wear my bells I decided to dress in my khaki skirt, brown silk shirt and strappy sandals. The shoes would go well with the rest of the outfit while still allowing me to walk in comfort. As I dressed Edward would look up from the laptop where he was down loading something into his phone. I was surprised that the first thought I had was maybe it was a new program for BFF. With my bra and panties on the curiosity got the better of me. Jumping on the bed I surprised him by wrapping my arms around his shoulders, peering over to see what he was doing.

“Ohhh,” I groaned seeing that he was down loading directions. “I thought you were doing something that was alot more fun.”

He chuckled, “pray tell, my dear, what did you think I was doing?”

“I thought maybe you brought BFF,” my disappointment was clear. His hand came up to cup my face while placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Sorry to disappoint you love, but BFF is safely tucked away.”

“What?” I knelt back putting my hands on my hips looking annoyed, “That is my favorite toy and a basic piece of equipment that is your responsibility to have with you at all times.”

“Oh really...is it now?” Edward’s amusement at my little show of dominance was very clear, “I’ll give you a basic piece of equipment,” he announced before grabbing my hips flipping me down on the bed and tickling me.

“Edward ….stop!” I was laughing and squirming trying my best to get away.

“Tell me Bella; is BFF better then my fingers?”

Laughing so hard I couldn’t answer as his fingers continued their assault on my ribs, “Please!”

“Answer me, my Bella!”

“No!..No!..No!..” somehow managing to flip over on my belly as the words came out through my giggles, “…your fingers are the best!”

“Good!” he said with a swat on my bottom, “now get dressed. Seth is getting all excited again.”

Following his gaze over my shoulder there was my poor baby with his head tilted, ears raised, and tail wagging, looking like he was ready to start howling any second. Getting up to my knees I righted my panties before patting Seth on the head, “What’s the matter boy?”

Edward’s hand replaced mine while I got up to get dressed, “I told you he needs to get laid. Don’t you Seth?”

“Or fixed,” I said sliding the skirt over my thighs while glancing at Edward who made a face and shuddered.

“You don’t want that do ya boy? Tell her you got the goods you should be able to use them …at least once.”

I laughed at him while adjusting my shirt, “He doesn’t care if he uses it or not.”

“The fuck he doesn’t,” the seriousness in Edward’s voice made me laugh. “He’s a male. We got balls and dicks. Damn straight we want to use them.” Edward patted Seth’s head, “Don’t you boy? You want to be howling for a reason, right?”

As if on cue Seth barked, “See I told you.”

Taking my jacket out of the closet Edward turned off the computer while I grabbed a few doggy-doo-doo bags. It was still light out while we walked the paths through the grounds at the hotel. They lead through lush gardens with a small wooden bridge that arched over a narrow stream. There were a few others out walking enjoying the natural beauty along with the clear evening breeze.

After an hour we took Seth back to the room and then walking the three blocks to the pub for dinner. It was a little after seven when we got there. The band didn’t start until nine but we still had to wait a few minutes for a table. When we were seated the tables were high café style with stools. I sat down with my back towards the bar while Edward sat to my right. The waitress came immediately to take our drink orders; with both of us opting for a pint of local ale she smiled leaving us with menus. I glanced at one quickly just to see what they offered because I already knew what I wanted while Edward took more time studying it.

He ended up getting a burger basket while I got the fish and chips I had been thinking about all day. We talked about what time we had to leave the next day, some of what Alice had emailed him with plans for the beach, and he asked if there was anything I had wanted to do there. It was at that time when I had to be honest, confessing that I didn’t look anything up because I didn’t even know where we were going. That little piece of information made him laugh.

“I’m glad I can amuse you,” I told him sarcastically while taking a drink.

He leaned over to kiss my cheek, “You are so adorable.” His words made me blush but I also rolled my eyes. “I’m serious Bella. When Rose has that baby I am buying it the biggest freaking present I can find.”

“What?” I didn’t understand what he meant.

“I owe that baby, if it wouldn’t have been for him, or her, I would have missed out on the best night of my life.” The look on my face must have told of my confusion because he went on. “I never go to open door nights, that’s Emmett’s thing. I was only there to fill in because he was hosting that party. If it wouldn’t have been for the baby, there wouldn’t have been a party; I never would have met you. And there is not a day that goes by that I do not thank god that you came into my life.”

Edward’s warm hand cup my face, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you that night, you were so beautiful, insightful, and funny. All night long I kept thinking how am I going to get this woman? Because I’d be damn if I was going to give someone else a chance, there was no way I was going to let some other motherfucker anywhere near you.”

His words were sweet but made me blush, “I don’t think there was a line Edward.”

He sat straight while the waitress brought our food and he then ordered another round of pints. As the waitress walked away he picked up his burger to take a bite while I stirred vinegar into the little cup of ketchup they gave me. Once I had my food set up and started eating Edward leaned closer to me to speak.

“You truly have no idea how delightfully intriguing you are.”

Delightfully Intriguing?

I had just shoved a whole steak fry in my mouth, and he goes and tells me something like that!

Yeah right

“I’m not kidding you Bella. Look at that guy over there to your left,” glancing over to the man Edward was talking about; he quickly looked away from me. “Despite the fact that he is sitting there with his wife and children, he is constantly checking you out.”

Looking back at the man his eyes once again moved away from mine. “That’s disgusting; he should be ashamed of himself.”

Edward grinned taking the last drink from his glass. As if she timed it the waitress was there with a replacement. Taking his empty glass she asked if he needed anything else to which his eyes never left mine as he told her no he has all he needs. Taking another bite of burger he seemed to be looking past me while he swallowed then followed it with a drink.

“That mans disgusting behavior is unfortunately his wife’s problem, however if those two guys behind you don’t stop staring at your ass, they are going to be my problem.” there was a threatening edge to his. I figured it might be a good time to get Edward’s mind on something else so I propositioned him.

“Is that an ass you plan on visiting any time soon?”

Yeah that did it

The darkness in his eyes grew with each passing second before he answered me, “Is that an invitation?”

“Engraved and gold embossed.”

With the open invitation there seemed to be more emphasis in getting done with our meal. When the waitress asked if we wanted anything else Edward quickly said no, telling me that we would get some coffee and dessert while we walked. That was fine with me; I was ready to go anyway.

We held hands while walking along the harbor. All the shops and homes that surrounded the water were etched in twinkling light that reflected off the calm glassy surface. Standing on the walkway Edward held my back firmly against his chest while we watched a cruise ship pull away. I wondered if the two couples we were with today were on it. Taking a cruise was something that had never appealed to me before but I think it would be fun to go away some place exotic with Edward.

His presence in my life has been so gratifying, I thought of his words from the pub.

“You know Edward that first night we met, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you either. When it was time to go I tried to stall hoping that you would come back one more time. Then when Aro suggested you accompany me back to the club I wanted to jump up and down in excitement. But I figured you could have any woman you want and it certainly wouldn’t be me. I still don’t know what you see in me…” As I said those words Edward turned me to face him.

“God Bella, I see everything in you. There is not a day in my future that I don’t see you in it.”

My hand cupped the side of his face feeling the prickliness of stubble against my palm. “I never used to think in terms of anything but the immediate future. Months and years were just too hard to bear, but now I find myself wanting it. You’ve given me reason to hope.”

Our lips met in a searing kiss my fingers threading through his hair clutching myself to him while our tongues moved against one another. Pressing my body against Edward his hands held my bottom firmly pulling me impossibly closer to him. I could feel the warm hardness of his erection pressing into my belly making me moan into his mouth as my breathing grew embarrassingly harsh. His hand moved up over my hip and ribs to cup my breast letting his thumb move across the nipple making my moan louder.

“Jesus. Don’t you two ever stop?”

At the sound of a man’s deep voice we broke away from each other. Desperately trying to catch my breath, I glanced over my shoulder to see our neighbors from the hotel strolling along the walkway. Edward chuckled tilting my chin up to place one soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled back the joy in his face was radiant as we simultaneously said, “Jealous.”

It didn’t take us long to get back to the hotel. Edward asked if I wanted to stop for something but I wasn’t hungry, at least not for food. While I undressed he took Seth out one last time, by the time he came back I had already been through my nightly routine and was sitting on the bed rubbing lotion into my legs. Edward wasted no time in getting himself ready joining me in the bed where he took me up on my earlier invitation.

Placing me on my belly with pillows under my hips, his hands moved over my back massaging the muscles while his lips kissed and nipped along my shoulders and neck. He used first one well lubed finger then two, preparing the opening he was going to use.

My body responded to every touch he made by creating a burning need inside me that seemed to move my hips in time with the motions of his fingers. Edward shifted behind me pressing the fullness of his weight against me as his hands guided my wrists to lie on either side of my head. His lips moved up my neck to my ear where he nibbled along the outer edge as I felt his slick length gliding along between the crack.

The need to feel him inside me was too great and I found myself raising my hips against his movements beseeching him. “Please?”

“Patience my love…let it build,” the words spoken against my ear made me moan with longing.

He continued the motions until I thought I was going to go insane with need as I continued to beg him to enter me and put an end the suffering. His hand released my wrist moving down to wrap around my hip where it started to circle my clit making me moan into the bed as my hips rose off the pillows to allow him better access. Releasing the other wrist his body weight lifted off me as I felt him slowly entering me, filling me and squelching the incensed craving.

I couldn’t help the words or the moan that left my mouth, “Ohhh…god…that feels sooo good.”

With his length fully inside me, my muscles relaxed around him as once again I felt his full weight surrounding me. His hands laid over mine entwining our fingers together as he pressed our linked hands into the bed and began to move.

I could feel his heart beating against my back as the side of his face rested against mine making it seemed like we were breathing together as one. I felt lost in the sea of sensations; it was erotic, sexy, and intimately affectionate. I had never in all my life felt so protected or treasured.

“You are so beautiful,” his words washed like a soft breeze across my face. There was nothing rushed or forceful about his movements; he was making love to me in a way that I never thought was possible.

My body responded to his as it always does and as I neared my climax I realized that our breathing was still in harmony as he whispered for me to let it go. My moans increased while my fingers tightened around his as my body shook in sweet release. I could hear his own breathing pick up while he let out a low growl as he pushed our hands deeper into the bed. The moment was so perfect tears fell from my eyes.

The pressure in my hand subsided and I immediately felt the loss of contact. I thought Edward was going to pull away from me but I was wrong. Instead his hands moved down wrapping around my waist to hold me against his chest as he rolled us onto our sides. Without even trying my body automatically molded against his. Our tender moment was extended filling me with even more emotional tears.

“Edward?”

“What baby?”

“That was wonderful.”

His arms tightened against me, “Yes it was.” I felt his lips against my hair as I drifted off to sleep.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew I was dreaming. I’ve had the same dream before or at least some variation of it. For the most part it was a happy dream, sitting in Grans kitchen with the high white cupboards, the yellow curtains blowing from the breeze coming through the open window. The plate of warm molasses cookies sat on the table while the aroma of them baking was still in the air. Grand-dad was someplace close by, I couldn’t see him but his voice carried off in the distance telling someone to hurry while Gran talked on the phone.

Sitting across the table was a lady who looked like me, as I watched her it became clear who it was. She looked exactly the same as I remembered. “Mom? What are you doing here?” Looking around the room I realized who was missing, “Where’s Edward?”

“Bella I can’t stay long. He’s calling me. Can’t you hear him?”

I was confused. Did she mean Grand-dad? Is that who he was calling? Listening closely I tried to comprehend what he was saying only it sounded like muffled yells.

“No mom I don’t hear it,” my hand reached across the table and I touched my mother for the first time in seventeen years. I expected her to be cold; however her hand was warm to the touch. “Stay with me mom. Please stay with me.”

“I can’t Bella.”

She stood up swiftly as I pleaded with her, “I need you. Why won’t you ever stay with me?” She moved over towards the door opening it allowing the voice calling her name to fill the room.

“Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!”

“I have to Bella. But promise me that you’ll stay in the light.”

“What light?”

The whole room got dark, so pitch black that I couldn’t see a thing. My eyes moved to where the window should be, but there was nothing. I felt a chill across my shoulders along with a hand touch my back. It scared me so much that I jumped up out of the chair to get away from it.

“Mom! Don’t leave me!”

Through the blackness I could hear my mother’s faint voice, “Bella stay with the light.”

The bright sunlight came shining in the window; it was so brilliant I had to shield my eyes. The darkness was still all around and I could feel hands reaching out to grab me. The fear was rising inside me but I didn’t know what to do. From the direction of the window I heard him calling my name, “Isabella.”

At the same time a dark hand seized onto my shoulder while I sprang forward screaming his name, “Edward!”

Springing up in bed with a start my body trembling as tears ran down my cheeks. My eyes adjusted to the light in the room, looking in the bed at the empty spot where Edward should have been. I heard movement and sensing someone coming towards me I screamed in terror.