Mine

Mine
A riding crop and a blindfold doesn't make it BDSM. There is a big difference between being kinky and being in the scene. It's not a sexual thing to me, it's a very spiritual thing. ~ DominaBlue

6/19/12

Chapter 94


BPOV


It had been over two weeks since I had gotten my body into an asanas position, and rather than dreading it like most exercise I was looking forward to it. Edward had given me the directive to spend two hours a week doing yoga, so I would be pliable. Making any position he wished to contort me in a whole lot easier. I suppose that was an extra benefit however it certainly wasn’t the only one.

I had started taking yoga classes at Dartmouth, as part of my undergrad I needed three credit hour of physical fitness. It could have been anything from intermural completion to speed walking, I choose yoga. I found the stretching to be beneficial in the healing of my body from the evasive back surgery. It not only fulfilled the requirements I needed but also helped rebuild the strength in my neck arms and shoulders. The exercises increased my range of motion while the accompanying mediation allowed me to find a small ounce of inner peace. I enjoyed it so much; even after I had satisfied the prerequisites it was something I continued to do.

The DVD’s I had in my own collection were several years old and I knew the routines fairly well, however going to a class was completely out of the question. Even after I had promised Edward he would get no more interference from me in regards to his request – no scratch that, it was a clear decree – he still seemed leery.

A wave of shame covered me over that because I should be easing his tensions not adding to his stress. There was nothing I could do to rectify the past; we had gotten everything out in the open the night before. I understood Edward’s side and he understood mine, our see-saw was balanced and we could go on from that point. His suspicion of my deviating from the commitment I gave was something that would be taken care of in time. Once he sees how faithful I am in obeying his anxiety will lessen and the overwhelming fear I witnessed in his eyes will hopefully disappear.

As for the time being, it was still there.

We had awoken to a loud clap of thunder, Seth barking and the ringing of the doorbell. Edward let out a curse while he scooted out from underneath my body, which was wrapped around him. I hadn’t slept very well so after checking the time and seeing it was just a few minutes after seven I was kind of miffed and ended up whining.

“Ohhhh…who the hell is that?”

“I don’t know baby, go back to sleep” Edward encouraged patting my bottom.

Pulling the pillow over my head I laid back down, however there was an eminent need to make a trip to the bathroom. It was day two of my period which meant a heavy flow and there was just no putting it off. After freshening myself up, I looked longingly at the bed before deciding to go see who had disrupted our sleep.

The two workmen from the day before were standing in the vestibule talking to Edward. I had no idea why they were there so early but still I offered them coffee while stifling a yawn. Declining the hospitality, I made my way into the kitchen with Seth right behind me. After letting him out the back door I was just getting two mugs out when Edward joined me.

“Why are they here so early?” my voice was still slightly whiney but it had been my understanding they were to start at eight everyday not seven. 

Edward multitasked by pouring the coffee with one hand while rubbing the other through his hair all while letting out a yawn before telling me “They need to have the old floor completely ripped out and the new subfloor in place so the room is ready by nine when the electrician gets here. Larry said they were going to be making a lot of noise so I suggest we get dressed, grab something to eat from the deli and head over to your house. That way we can get everything you need and be back here before the next crew arrives”

Yawning again- because he started it - I answered with a simple “OK”

Edward handed me a mug and chuckled “Ok? You’re very agreeable this morning”

“It’s too early to argue besides, I told you, I’ll do whatever you think is best” assuring him as I cocked open the refrigerator to get out the milk and added a splash into my cup.

“Then I suggest you go get dressed” he said leaning over to kiss my temple

“I’m going…I’m going” not at all enthused while putting the milk back before taking my first sip of morning renewal.

Raising one eyebrow at me Edward smirked “So much for being agreeable”

“I told you I was going…”

“So you did” he chuckled before swatting my bottom and demanding “Now woman!”

Edward was right; the demolition was a noisy job. It sounded like they were using a sledgehammer on the old tile flooring. Each blow sending a jolt of vibration through the floor joist that I could feel all the way in my room. There was no reason to dress in anything other than comfortable clothing, a pair of loose calf length grey yoga pants with a pink sports bra would do. Throwing my dark pink Seahawks hoodie over top and pulling my hair up in a high ponytail. All I needed was my Nike’s and I was ready to go when Edward came in my room carrying the clothing he was going to wear. He too had gone with comfort and by the time I came out of the bathroom – after brushing my teeth - he was dressed in jeans and UW hoodie, sitting on the edge of the bed slipping on his sneakers. While he went into the bathroom I quickly made the bed and we were ready to go when he returned.

It was a Tuesday morning, pouring down rain and the deli was full with morning customers stopping on their way to work. We ordered two large coffees, Edward got the ham, egg and cheese sandwich while I ordered mine with sausage and giving me a wink he added a chocolate croissant.

God I loved that man

Edward backed into my driveway pulling the car as close to the patio as possible. Normally I would wait for him to open my car door – because he spoiled me – but it was raining so damn hard I held onto the coffee cups and ran for the back porch. Edward had the bag of food as we both hit the cover of the patio at the same time, laughing at how soaked we were.

I hadn’t been to my house in several weeks and opening the door the first thing I noticed was the smell of stale air. Not that it stank or was dirty, just like it had been closed up for so long and in sore need of some fresh air. Setting the coffee’s down on the table I stripped off the wet hoodie and hung it on the peg of the coat rack. Edward followed suit, leaving him in a white t-shirt and leering at my pink sports bra.

“I thought you wanted to be back before the new men got there?” I asking knowing exactly what was going through his mind.

“Alright nâhtötse I’ll behave” he said sitting down on a stool and pulling out the contents from the bag of food.

Getting the ketchup along with a few napkins I placed them in the center of the table as I sat in the stool opposite him. Opening the foil on my sandwich, Edward took the lids off the coffee cups handing me mine. He took a large gulp and started opening up his own breakfast as he asked “How much stuff do you need to take from here?”  

Using the plastic knife we got at the deli I started cutting the sandwich into small bite size pieces while thinking over the mental list I had made “I need to take a few work outfits and definitely need more underwear, some books, throw blankets, and little personal items…”

I could feel Edward watching me as I squirted a bunch of ketchup on the corner of the foil wrap while I continued rambling “…and I need to make of list for the grocery store. Sue will bring some things with her but there aren’t even the basics here. I definitely need to get bread, milk, eggs, and cereal...those kinds of thing. Plus I’m not sure how much sugar is left or coffee…” using the knife to spread the ketchup on one of the bites I was just about to pop it in my mouth when I snickered “…hell I don’t even remember if there’s toilet paper.”

Edward shook his head chuckling and as he took a bite of sandwich his expression turned serious, taking another drink he wiped his mouth on the napkin before saying  “So…”

The uncharacteristic hesitation had me halting the progress of eating another ketchup coated piece of food.  He had only ever wavered in his speech a few times – two to be exact – all of which were subject matters that centered on a crucial topic. The fact he had done it again sent me high alert.

“So…what?” 

“Well…” he said pausing once again “…I was sort of wondering what your plans are with the house?”

Green eyes stared into mine waiting for an answer, when it didn’t come – because I wasn’t exactly sure what he was referring to or how to answer  – Edward elaborated “I know we had only talked about you living with me until all this mess was straightened out. But I was sort of thinking you would stay and I didn’t know what your thoughts were”

Was he asking me to permanently move in with him?

“What about my house, what would I do with it?”

“I was thinking …you could sell it”

I got a funny feeling in my chest and could feel my face warm up but that time it wasn’t from blushing. It was pure anxiety. Taking a few deep breaths it must have been obvious to Edward that I wasn’t very comfortable with his suggestion.

His face lost what little bit of joy he had as he stated gravely “You don’t want to”

He wasn’t asking me because it fairly clear I had reservations which I quickly voiced “It’s not that I don’t 
want to be with you or stay with you.”

That was truth; in fact I hadn’t given any thought of what would happen once this cloud hanging over us was removed. The notion of being away from Edward was not something I wanted to dwell on; still I needed to be cautious “It’s just that…”

God I didn’t even want to think about it, none the less voice it and I could feel my eyes fill with tears at just the idea. “What happens if …”

Geez it killed me to say it “…we don’t work out?”

Edward’s head tilted just the slightest fraction of an inch as he regarded me for a moment in a way that made me think it was the most asinine remark he had ever heard “Do you really believe that is going to happen?”

I hope not

Yet no matter how much I hoped it was still a possibility. We hadn’t really engaged in any meaningful conversation about a future together. The extent of the exchange was a passing comment about how droopy my boobs would be in thirty years. Other than a collar around my neck we had made no true commitment to each other. I was young and dumb once, no matter how much I loved Edward and it nearly killed me to think of not being with him, I couldn’t afford to be stupid again. Yet I couldn’t stand the obvious disappointment on his face either.

“Here’s the thing Edward…” swallowing hard I didn’t know how to voice my concerns; the last thing I wanted was to come off sounding like I was in some way trying to trap him. Yet I couldn’t just go along blindly, pretending to play house with him for the rest of my life either. And there was no way in hell I was selling my home and moving in with him lock, stock and barrel without a clear view of where our relationship was heading. When it came right down to it I just had to plainly state my misgivings.  “…the only commitment we have to each other is a non-binding, unenforceable contract. If something was to happen…”

He tried to interject but holding up my hand cut him off “Just hear me out…please” at his nod I went on
“…if I sold my house and something did happen. It wouldn’t even have to be between us, but if say 
something happened to you I would have no legal standing and your family could force me out onto the street.”

“They wouldn’t do that Bella” he was so sure

“But they could and where would that leave me. This house might not be much but it’s mine and although I’ve not even considered returning here once everything settles down, I still am not willing to get rid of it either at least not at this point in time.”

Letting out a sigh Edward continued to gaze at me until his eyes narrowed like a thought had occurred to him. “Have you thought of renting it out? That way it’s not sitting empty, you can earn a small income that would pay for taxes and the sewage bill yet still retain ownership”

“Who would I rent it to?”

He shrugged “Call the housing office at UW; tell them you have a furnished two bedroom for rent. You want upperclassmen with a good GPA, so you know they aren’t only here for the parties. They need deposits, good credit and references. Try it for one semester, see how those five months play out and take it from there.”

It sounded like Edward had either put some thought into it or he knew a thing or two about student rentals. Since he and Emmett leased a home at Dartmouth I assumed it to be the later.

“I’ll think about it” picking up the piece of sandwich I had dropped my eyes wondered to his. Edward was still watching me with tension in his features and I had to say something to take it away “I’m sorry it’s just I …”

“There’s no reason to be sorry Bella, you told me how you feel and I actually agree you. But really consider leasing the house. The longer it sits uninhabited the more susceptible it is to some kind of vandalism.”

I hadn’t really thought of that possibility either

Taking another bite I nodded in agreement which seemed to bring the smile back on Edward’s face. Changing the subject we spoke at length about all I needed to do for the upcoming weekend. Edward was also very busy on Thursday, which was the only day I had to do all the shopping. Kim was going to come over that evening to help put together favors so it all had to be done by then. We were at a stalemate because he was strongly sticking to the whole male escort stipulation.

Crumbling the wrap from his breakfast into a ball he took out the chocolate croissant before throwing the wad of foil into the bag and told me with no uncertainty “Don’t worry, I’ll get someone for you”

“Who are you going to get?” I wondered in total disbelief then pictured me going to the bakery, florist, and craft store with Emmett.  The prospect of having to deal with all the teasing that would surely be taking place not exactly something to look forward to.

“I said don’t worry about it. I got connections to keep you covered”

Sighing I rolled the last few bites of own food inside the foil adding the garbage to the bag with Edward’s and cut the croissant in half. Getting to my feet I picked up the flaky treat and kissed him on the cheek before making my way into the bedroom moaning at the goodness of the chocolate filling. Fifteen minutes later I was zipping up the first suitcase when Edward came in talking to someone on his phone. From the one-sided conversation I gathered it to be his mother. Between the two of them they had come up with a plan for me to still attend a lunch with her. While I went around filling up the other suitcase with all the things I would need he hung up and informed me of the details.

“Mom said she’ll make reservations at The Tower for noon”

My eyes widened at the mention of the private club. It was rather intimidating to think that me, little Isabella Swan from Forks was going to be having lunch at one of Seattle’s elusive private restaurants. Never in a million years would I have ever thought it possible, yet there it was coming to pass and then a thought occurred to me.

“Wh…what do I wear?”

“It’s only lunch Bella, so the dress code is lax but still no jeans or t-shirts are allowed.”

“Oh…” something else came to my mind “...and you’re ok with me being there alone?”

He shrugged “Only members can enter and my father will be there at the same time having lunch with some colleagues. Afterwards he will drive you to Leah’s and I’ll pick you up there”

Putting my grandmothers hand mirror into the suitcase I grimaced “Carlisle shouldn’t have to do that”

Edward cleared his throat, glancing up I was met with a glare “What happened to cooperating?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t cooperating, just that …” Edward raised one eyebrow waiting for me to complain.

Remember his point of view Bella…help to ease his mind…keep him calm

Chanting the words in my head like some form of transcendental meditation I smiled warmly “That’s fine, whatever you think is best”

Eyeing me his lips twitched as he stepped towards me placing one hand on the small of my back and holding my chin with the other “Good answer”

Unlike the fear induced frenzy from the previous evening, the kiss that followed was full of passion and promise. His mouth was still claiming mine, not in desperation but in authority and my body responded. Our tongues moved together as I molded against the contours of his frame and he kissed me until the wanton desire made my legs weak. Moaning into his mouth he let out a growl that only fueled my need. I was shamelessly panting when Edward pulled back, opening my eyes I was met with the dark intense stare that made my stomach clench.

“God what you do to me”

I could have repeated the same lines right back at him, instead my face heated with a blush making Edward chuckle “That doesn’t help you know?”

Cocking my head to the side I asked innocently “What doesn’t help?”

Releasing my chin Edward ran the back of his fingers over my flushed cheeks “That blush, every time you do it – it makes my dick throb”

As if to prove his point he took my hand resting against his chest bringing it down to the steel bulge protruding against his jeans. The feel of his warm hard erection sent another surge of desire through me. Squeezing the firmness in my hand, Edward hissed telling me how every uncomfortable he must be.
Looking at him through my lashes I gave a sly smile “I can take care of that”

His eyes hooded over as his nostrils flared and his glanced over his shoulder at the clock “Quickly?”

Taking a step back I smiled broadly “Time me”

Dropping to my knees I had Edward’s pants open with my mouth wrapped around him in three seconds flat, it wasn’t pleasure I was seeking to bring, only relief. Less than four minutes later Edward was spilling ropes of cum down my throat. I knew he wasn’t holding back still it was rather satisfying to know I could bring him off so quickly and I wondered how fast I could make him lose control when he was really trying.

Sitting back on my heels, I gazed up at Edward licking the corners of my uplifted mouth. Closing his pants he smirked at me “Rather proud of yourself, uh?”

Giving a shrug I feigned nonchalance “Not really, it doesn’t count when you just let go. It’d be a different story if you were trying to resist”

“If I was resisting we would have been her all damn day” He said holding his hand out to help me up.

“Oh I don’t know about that, in fact…I would say if I was really trying…” giving my serious look I told him with absolute certainty “…you could resist all you wanted to....and I’d still have you cuming in less than ten minutes”

Edward chuckled in disbelief “Are you challenging me Ms. Swan?”

“No…I’m stating a simple fact”

Edward laughed “It sounds like a bet to me”

“I’m not betting” I said turning back to the bed taking stock of what I still wanted to take with me and Edward wrapped his hands around my waist. Pulling my back against his chest he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Come on Bella, you’re so sure of yourself. Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is…literally” he added with a growl against my ear before tugging lobe with his teeth.   

Wrenching my neck back to see his face I wondered “You want to bet me money?”

“Nope” moving his head from side-to-side “We’ll set agreeable terms then see who wins”

“What kind of terms”

Straightening back up Edward shrugged “I don’t know, but I’m sure I can think of something”

What the hell was I thinking? At the time there wasn’t a doubt in my mind, yet as I gathered up the rest of the belonging I wanted to take with me I wasn’t so sure anymore. Edward had an amazing amount of control when it came to his sexual release. Yet I knew there were a few tricks I hadn’t used on him and by the time we had left my house the bargain had been struck. The specifics would need to be worked out but it was already done and I wasn’t backing down.

The rain had slowed from a down pour to a misty drizzle when we got back home making it easier to unload the car. We had just closed the door when the two workers came down saying they were finished. I let Edward to deal with the inspection of their work while placed the baggie with the  other half of the croissant on the counter, and threw the bag of garbage from our breakfast away. Stripping off my wet hoodie I threw it in the dryer and went down into the small workout room in the basement with the yoga DVD. I was just finishing the last stretch went Edward came into the room. He watched me while I centered myself into a lotus position and I could feel his gaze while I closed my eyes letting all the tension disappear through the deep cleansing breaths.

Opening my eyes I found his leaning with his shoulder against the door frame smiling at me “I hate to interrupt you babe but there’s two members of Seattle’s finest here to see you.”

Great

Holding out his hand Edward helped me to my feet asking what position I was in when he arrived.
“Ah…it’s called oosh-TRAHS-anna or the camel…” glancing at him through the corner of my eye I wondered “…why?”

“It’d be a perfect ‘offering position” starting up the stairs he added “only your thighs would need to be spread wider so I could get to the good parts”

I burst out laughing “Leave it to you to try and get to my good parts”

“Mmmm…they’re all good baby” he said swatting my bottom as I reached the top of the steps. 

Stopping his progress by turning around with my hands on hip hips I gave him my best sarcastic smile “And here I thought you wanted me for my brilliant mind”

“Brains, beauty, body…” he smirked placing his hands on my hips and moving up one more step so our eyes were level “It’s the whole package and I want it all”

“Mmmm…” I hummed wrapping my arm around his neck “…it’s already yours”

“And I intend to keep it” he said just before placing a quick kiss on my lips.

I would have liked to have deepened it however Edward pulled back giving me a sad smile “We have guest nâhtötse”

Officer Hawk and his partner - I believed his name was Miller - were standing in the kitchen going through the envelope of pictures. They must have already examined the car hose because it was out of the bag, sitting on the table. As I came into the room their eyes raked over my body, not in a lecherous way but rather methodical. I felt like I was a crime scene and they were looking for evidence. At any minute I expected one of them to pull out a pair of latex gloves and some specimen bags.

Hawk was the first one to talk; tipping his chin he spoke with absolutely no emotion “Ms. Swan sorry to interrupt your…exercise

I didn’t know if Edward had told him that’s what I was doing or if he had just surmised it from the yoga pants and sports bra I was wearing.

“It’s alright, I was done anyway”

“We were just looking at your pictures, with the circles drawn around you, it’s fairly clear that you are indeed the target. Mr. Cullen had already told me how these came into you possession, but I would like to hear it in your own words, if you don’t mine”  

“No that would be fine, but can I get a cup of coffee first”

“I’ll get it Bella” Edward said from beside me, asking the two officers if they would like a cup also. At their refusal began to move and I stopped him “Edward?”

Glancing at me with a raised eyebrow I was beseeching him with my eyes “You know that other half of the croissant?”

He smirked “I’ll bring it”

“Thank you”

Chuckling to himself went to the coffee pot while I was faced with the two policemen who were staring at me with bemused expressions. It was the first time I had ever seen officer Hawk without a scowl on his face and I had to admit it did him justice.

Sitting down I offered them a spot at the table as well and once we were all comfortably seated I started telling them the events of the previous day. Starting with the shopping trip, then the car overheating, my being stranded with Demetri, Edward coming to get me finally ending with Jake bringing over the evidence they were so content on. By the time I was done Edward had rejoined us, taking the seat next to me just in time for the in-depth questioning to begin.

How long was I in the store? Did I notice anybody suspicious? Why was I on the phone with Edward the whole time? How do I know Demetri? Did I recognize anybody on the street? Why didn’t I wait for tow truck? How long was Edward gone before he got back to my car? Does anybody else have a set of keys? Did Demetri see anyone around my car? Over what course of time were the pictures taken? How do I know Karen? What did she say to me? Did I have any other contact with her? Were there any previous problems with her?

The questions went on and on, each time one was answered there seem to be something else one of them thought to ask. By the time the story was retold and gone over and over again I was beginning to feel like I had been through the Spanish Inquisition.  The whole time I stayed as calmed as I could and gave clear truthful answers while sipping coffee and eating small bites of the flakey chocolate pastry.

Looking up from the note pad he had been writing in Office Hawk’s face was back to the solemn expression I was so used to seeing on him “I spoke with your father this morning Ms. Swan”

Tilting my head slightly I waited for the rest with amped curiosity. I knew Charlie had said Hawk was a good policeman; however I didn’t know they had become comrades in arm.

“You should probably be aware that one of his deputies will be bringing James Cummings in for questioning this afternoon.”

Fear shot through me, I could feel the blood racing through my face as my anxiety level went from zero-to- hundred and all I could think was “Why?”

Why would Charlie do this to me? Why would he stir up a hornets nest? Why couldn’t they just leave well enough alone? Why bring James into all this? Why was this happening now?

“Because Ms. Swan you have a standing restraining order against your ex-husband, which means he has at some point either already threatened, harassed or harmed you. Now as I told Mr. Cullen over the phone yesterday, the note attached to the pictures is not a clear threat. Because it could be anything from see how easy it is to watch you, to see how easy it is to get to you and a list of anything in between. So until it is established what the person or persons meant, there is nothing we can do about that. However as you so clearly pointed out these pictures were taken over the course of at least a month or more and that Ms. Swan is stalking, which in the state of Washington is a class ‘C’ felony. And one of the first people we are going to look at is someone who has already established animosity towards you.”   

“James didn’t this”

Officer Hawk glowered at me “How can you be so certain?”

Scoffing my mouth spoke before my brain could stop it “Because if James really wanted to do something to me, he would just come and do it”

“Is that something he has done before Ms. Swan?”

Officer Hawk’s question along with the intensity of his gaze caused a shiver to run through me and could no longer stand the force of his stare. Shifting my focus over his shoulder to the falling rain outside the patio door, I could feel the weight of his glare burning into my face. Moving my eyes back to his I was met with his knowing scrutiny and out of habit I bit my lip before quickly diverting my attention back to the wall of glass. 

The tension in my chest started to build as I kept altering my gaze from the wall to his unwavering stare.
Wrinkling my nose I sniffled as tears started to fill my eyes. It felt like the weight of the world was pushing down on me as I swallowed hard to keep from hyperventilating. I knew damn well what Officer Hawk was referring to. Part of me wanted to end the whole thing by screaming out the words he wanted to hear. But the bigger part of me was so damn scared and ashamed and accustomed to living in a world of denial that there was no way the words would come out of my mouth.  

Blinking caused the tears to roll down my checks, taking a staggering breath I sniffled again as the anxiety caused my heart to hammer in my chest. Each beat sounding in my ears like a thumping drum while my hands started to tremble in my lap. My stomach started doing flip flops and I knew I was only a few seconds away from a full fledged panic attack.

“That’s enough” Edward said putting one arm around my shoulder while his other hand grasped my trembling ones.  The close contact was enough to pull me from the brink as my mind focused on the feel of the pressure he used to keep my fingers steady while he addressed Officer Hawk.

“Are you in the habit of blaming victims or causing them more suffering then what they already live with?”

At his sigh my eyes once again came back to the policemen sitting across the table from me, gone was the deep fixation for truth. In its place was a look of total condemnation that only served as another reminder of utterly cowardly I was. All it would have taken was three little words, the same phrase I had spoken to Edward the night before. The whole thing would have ended; James would never again be able to hurt me or anyone else. All I had to say was – He raped me.

But I just couldn’t, it was hard enough admitting it to myself, none the less anyone else, so instead I pushed it to the back of my mind to deal with later.

“I’m sorry Ms. Swan…”his mouth said sorry, his eyes said something else “…but if you would allow me to be blunt”

My senses must have been coming back to me because I laughed humorlessly “Gee…you being blunt, what a change that’ll be”

Officer – stone face- Hawk actually smiled, it was so shocking I half expected his face to crack “I know I’m a hard man Ms. Swan, it comes with the job. I can’t afford to be soft because it could cost people their lives. I see a lot of things on the streets of our fair city, most of it makes me sick. Descent people shouldn’t have to live with the vile creatures out there preying on others. So they set laws and a system of justice where by people can seek help to protect themselves. They can go before a judge to get a restraining order or a protection from abuse order; however that piece of paper is only as reassuring as the threat to prosecute. If there is no fear of prosecution from the victim what respect does the criminal give to the law?”

Giving me a pointed look he answered is own question “None, why have a healthy dose of fear about something you know will have no consequences.”

His statement hung in the air for a moment before his brow furrowed and his expression once again became serious critical “Now I know, and you know…” His eyes glanced over at Edward who still had me tucked in against his side “…and judging from how protective Mr. Cullen is of you, I believe it is safe to say he also knows…what happened to you in your home that day. What I don’t know and cannot for the life of me understand is why you claim to continue to have some sort of amnesia about who it was. I don’t begrudge you the RO or blame your father for going through…unconventional channels to get it, if it was my daughter I’d of done the same thing.”

Taking a deep breath officer Hawk seemed to gather his thoughts before continuing with the same tone of voice he had been using.

“Still as I said if you are going to continue to look the other way, then there are no repercussions for scoffing at the law, rendering that piece of paper completely worthless. It means nothing to you, it means nothing to your ex-husband and it means nothing to the courts except for the space it takes up in a filing cabinet. You are a smart lady Ms. Swan, so one day I’m hoping you’ll look past my gruff exterior and you’ll call me…it wouldn’t even hurt my feelings if you were to bypass me and call my partner Officer Miller here…” inclining his head towards the man sitting next to him “…with a sudden revelations of a repressed memory…” narrowing his eyes while he nodded in encouragement he added “…those things happen all the time. You’re doing the dishes and suddenly …wham!...your memory returns. Or you wake up in the middle of the night from a dream that pieced together all the missing parts giving you total recall. It could even be something sketchy…not a hundred percent sure…but just enough to force action against the person who so brutally raped you.

My stiffening at the word ‘raped’ caused Edward to once again respond to the severity of officer Hawks straight forwardness.   “I thought we were here to file a report about what a stalker, not a…not an attack that occurred years ago”

Hawk looked to Edward but it was his partner that spoke “It’s a warning Mr. Cullen for Ms. Swan to be extra alert in the event that James Cummings becomes agitated at being brought in for questioning.  It is very possible that the man will take that aggression out on the person who he feels is responsible…” nodding once in my direction he told me something I already knew “…that would be you Ms. Swan. It would be very irresponsible of us to leave you without the warning. You have the restraining order in place, you need to use it to its full advantage and not hesitate to prosecute should it become necessary.”

Fucking great

These two men were sitting there basically telling me that they were going to be pissing off James and 
because of that he would more than likely be coming to take it out on me.

Just fucking great  

Officer Hawk wasn’t done with his subtle persuasion “If your memory is still not clear then I urge you to take extra precautions Ms. Swan. Your father is also going to be keeping an extra eye out for your ex-husbands whereabouts for the next few days. However he can’t stop him from coming to Seattle again…”

“Again?” James was free to go where he wanted – thanks to me – yet the way he said ‘again’ made it sound as if a visit to the city was a regular occurrence.

“It seems your ex-husband comes to Seattle at least once a week to visit his girlfriend’s aunt and uncle”

Jesus Christ

Why the hell would he…

It hit me like a ton a bricks James and Vickie are not coming to see her family; he was coming to see his son. Karen’s little boy – Evan- lived with her aunt and uncle, they had custody of the child so he would be there, did that also mean that Karen was there? Was Jake right was James paying Karen to get to me?

“How do you know this?” Edward wondered while I was still reeling from the revelation I just had.

“As I said I spoke with Chief Swan this morning, he informed me that after talking with his daughter last night he went over to speak with…” flipping through the little note book Officer Hawk found what he was looking for before looking up at us “…Mr. and Mrs. Kohn.”

Charlie went to see Vickie’s parents?

“He wanted to know if they have had any contact with their daughter Karen or if they knew where she was or how to get a hold of her”

Edward’s brain must have been working faster than mine as he jumped to the conclusion “She’s missing too?”

Officer Miller answered Edward’s anxious question with calmness “Karen Kohn’s last known address here in the city is Graham Place Apartments. However she hasn’t lived there for quite some time. According to her parents last summer, Karen moved in with her boyfriend” glancing back down at the pad in his hand he said the name I already knew “Michal Newton who resides in the same apartment building. This morning when we were running a check on him, we found a warrant for his arrest and there has been no answer at his home, which just so happens to be the same apartment complex Karen use to live in.”

Oh…that’s where Karen met Mike, they lived in the same building

Rather proud of my intuition it shocked me when Edward nearly shouted “Fucking Newton is missing too?”

“I wouldn’t say he was missing Mr. Cullen…” Officer Miller’s calm demeanor not helping the anxiety that was building in me or Edward “…it’s more that at the moment he seems to be unattainable”

“So basically he could be hiding in the bushes, on a plane to Mexico or for all you know hanging out in Iowa with Jessica Stanley?”

Not answering his question officer hawk interjected “Well that is another thing you should be aware of. Miss. Stanley will also be brought in for questioning by the Merrill police department this afternoon. It has been set up for one pm, our time, as a video conference”

Edward became rather livid “You know Hawk had you listened to me on Friday and acted accordingly Jess never would have left the city and Newton who I told you put her up to breaking in my house wouldn’t have gotten away.”

“There is a process to this Mr. Cullen that I cannot supersede. There was no proof that Mr. Newton had anything to do with what happened here at your home. There still is no proof. The only reason his name was even brought into this whole thing is because of his involvement with Karen Kohn. The arrest warrant issued for him is a completely different matter.”

“So his charter doesn’t come into question?” Edward was incensed and at the two officers questioning gazes he clarified “The warrant is for theft or at least in some kind of larceny, so breaking into my house seems a whole lot more likely. If he can steal from his place of employment, then he can surely steal from me”

“How do you know what the arrest warrant is for?” officer Miller asked with a furrowed brow

“My uncle filled the complaint…”

“Aro Vulturi is your uncle?”

“Yes, my mother’s brother.”

Officer Miller sighed while Hawk gave his own conclusion “Well it seems we have come full circle”

“I thought you were aware of that.”

At Edward’s statement officer Hawk shook his head “No I wasn’t but the connections seem to continue to pile up and it makes me wonder what else I’m not aware of”

I was thinking to make it known that James was the father of Karen’s son but Edward squeezed me hand and I kept my mouth shut.

“Well, one way or another Mr. Newton will be found and once we have spoken with Miss. Stanley this afternoon there will more than likely be an added charge to his indictment. I can only assume that Miss. Kohn is with him so until they are found please be very mindful of your surroundings Ms. Swan. If they or your ex-husband should contact you or if you have a sudden memory recall, you should call us immediately.”

Stacking the photos’ and sliding them back into the envelope Officer Hawk said “I’m going to take these with me along with the hose, so I have them for evidence”    

“Take them” Edward said dismissively and taking his arm from my shoulder straightened in his chair “So basically what you’re telling us is to be on the lookout for…”

“Anything unusual we will keep you informed on our end and you do the same, hopefully we will know more this afternoon after we’ve spoken with Miss. Stanley. Perhaps she has been in contact with Mr. Newton or at the very least might have an idea of where he might be. And as I said once we find him, I’m sure we’ll also fine Miss Kohn. ”

That was the best we could hope for especially since before walking out the door we got what appeared to be the staple response ‘change your normal routine, don’t go out alone and be mindful of your surroundings’.

Wonderful

That’s the same advice I heard from everyone and something that had I not any common sense to know myself – I could have googled.

Edward saw them to the door while I let Seth out and made a much needed visit into the bathroom. Coming out I found Edward rinsing the cups we had used and stacking them into the dishwasher. He seemed deep in thought yet as I approached his head turned in my direction giving me a slight smile. “The electrician is going to be turning off the power soon. He said it should only be out for about fifteen minutes and then he’ll be done for the day”

“Wow…that was fast”

“Yeah”

The smile was still there yet the tension was thick in the air, laying my hand on his forearm got his full attention “I know you’re upset about what Officer Hawk said but I told you, I won’t fight you on …”

He let out a deep sigh “I’m so sorry Bella, I fucked up…”

What was he talking about? 

Seeing my confusion Edward finished his thoughts “…I never should have told Jess I was calling the police. I just thought it might coerce her into saying something else. Anything that would help us to make sense of all this, perhaps give us some answers or a direction to move in.”

“It’s not your fault Edward”

“It is Bella…I was just being an arrogant ass, had I just kept my mouth shout about calling the police she wouldn’t have ran. The police would have already spoken to her; they would have found out about Mike and picked him up and probably Karen too. This whole thing could have been over if I’d only kept my freaking mouth shut. Now everything’s even more fucked up…”

That wasn’t true and I didn’t like the thought of him taking the blame for something so ridiculous “Edward, how were you suppose to know she would take off like that. All you did was tell Jessica you knew what she did and was not going to allow to get away with it. Besides I wasn’t exactly quiet in that store, I was taking just as much pride in making Jessica uncomfortable as you were. She was relying on your…past relationship to protect her. She did it Edward, Jessica Stanley put herself in the position she’s in, not you. You can’t take responsibility for things you have no control over.”

His eyes narrowed “That’s the point Bella, I have control over myself and had I just remained quiet about that one point…but no…I just had to rub it in. Now she’s in Iowa, Newton, Karen both are in hiding someplace and for all we know the three of them are conspiring with that asshole.”

The asshole was Edward’s name for James and the mention of him and Karen in the same sentence reminded me “I was going to say something to officer Hawk about Evan…”

Shutting the dishwasher with a sigh Edward admitted “I know you were, I was hoping you would stop”

“Why?” It seemed like a good thing for the police to know, the little boy was the link between Karen and James and explained why he was in Seattle all the time. Not for me but for the child, at least I hoped that was the reason.

“Are you ready for that Bella?” Edward’s voice was harsh “For the implication of what happens when they run a paternity test. When they have a sample of James’ DNA to compare with another that is just sitting there waiting to be matched.”

My eyes filled with tears as I thought about what would have happened and Edward was right there was no way I wanted to deal with that. “So you were protecting me?”

“Always Bella…first and foremost in my mind and heart is your welfare…always.”  

6/7/12

Chapter 93


EPOV

“Fuck me Edward.”

Yes…God how I needed her

The extra plea Bella gave was just an added bonus that spurred me on; the whole evening had been torturous on my nerves. After Jacob had left and Bella had her own breakdown in confessing why she had been so reluctant in taking security measures I had at least gotten a hold of myself. Up until that point I was in no way calm, anger, fear and uncertainty had me gripped to the point of losing control and yelling.  It was not something I was proud of and I knew it had to get a hold on myself, but I just couldn’t.

Every time I thought the anger was contained my eyes glanced back to the pictures with the words resonating in my head ‘See how easy it is’ and the agitation would intensify. Bella didn’t help my demeanor one bit because every time I thought she had finally gotten it through her head that this was a serious matter, she would go and do something to make me think she was still going to fight me on it.

Bella sat across from me on the stool, rolling her eyes, huffing in annoyance and pouting while she stuffed her face full of chocolate. Then when she told us to stop talking about her like she was a child and I told her to stop acting like one and she fucking sighed, my blood pressure reached the boiling stage.  Had Jacob not been there that girl would have been over my knee and given a spanking that would have cure her of that horrible habit forever. As it was, it took everything I had inside me to not send her to the corner and Bella was damn lucky she lowered her eyes or that’s exactly where she would have gone.

Even Jacob saw the snarly attitude; calling Bella a brat and chalking it up to her menstrual period or as he so eloquently put it, ‘being on the rag.’ I suppose part of her insolence could be hormonal imbalances yet ever since we learned of the dangers there has been reluctance from Bella. I couldn’t understand out why she had to be so damn obstinate. Then when she promised Jacob Black – of all people – that she would do everything she could to protect herself, I nearly lost it. In my mind I figured Bella was just giving him lip service like she had done with everyone else, still it was too much to bear. I had been begging, pleading, ordering her to not be out alone, to take extra precautions, to be mindful of who is around her, only to be met with opposition.

I just couldn’t fucking figure out what the problem was, where was her sense of self-preservation at?

The words came out through her tears and I had known that Bella was beginning to put her past fears behind her. I could see her happily living life and embracing a future but I didn’t completely understand what that meant to her personally. My girl had lived her whole life afraid, scared of being abandoned, worried over not being accepted and then terrorized by someone who should have protected her. Each ordeal leaving its personal mark on her until normal everyday actives terrified her. It frightened her to walk into a dark room, paranoia gripped her whenever anyone approached and sudden movements left her panicking. Hell my girl was so worried she didn’t even have home mail delivery.

I could see all those fears slipping away from her, my mind recalling the very first time Bella and I were intimate. We lay naked in her bed after having a rather satisfying tryst yet neither of us dismissing the option of another round. I had brought up her sex life with James – something at that point I had very little information of. As was usual at the time, Bella shut down asking why I wanted to hear about ‘all that shit’. In my answer I assured her I didn’t really want to be told – because I knew it was going to piss me off – but I had to hear it. Reasoning with the hope that together we could work though all the fears and bring us to a place where the past had no bearing on the present.

It would appear that had come to fruition Bella was definitely more confident not only in her submission to me but towards everyday life in general.  Normally I would be praising the accomplishment, thrilled to death that Bella no longer was afraid to participate in everyday actives. However in an attempt to show fearlessness she was crossing over into stupidity. We were back to her focusing on what was in front of her and not paying attention to the peripheral. I could understand her not wanting to live in fear, finding the inner strength that I knew laid dormant inside her. But that didn't mean when the wolf is knocking on your door you open it up and invite him in.

And that was what she was doing, disregarding all the warning signals to the point where it was driving me insane. Jacob pleaded with her to not make him have to find her tied to a table barely alive and all I could think about was the memory of seeing those pictures. The aftermath of what James had done to Bella in her own kitchen was enough to freak me out even more. Flashes of her body covered in bruises with angry red welts from the whipping of the belt clouded my mind. There was no way in hell I could ever allow something like that to happen. I had given my word no one would ever hurt her again, and I was so fucking afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my promise, especially with her self-destructive attitude.

As if she could read my mind about where my thoughts had gone or maybe it was the one thing she herself feared the most Bella said the word I had never heard her say. When she admitted to being raped all the anger inside me dissipated, my worries were still there but they were put into a better perspective.

She had lived through the most horrific experience that not only took away her sense of pride but also her sense of security. Bella survived the experience through relative silence, she sought out therapy, stored away the aggression into the deepest recesses of her mind and lived as cautiously as she could.  

And she was right; I didn't know what it was like to be afraid all the time. I had only been dealing with the stress since Friday morning; when Weiss sat in the dining room laying everything out for us. It had only been affecting me for three days; I couldn't imagine the magnitude of stress that years of living in fear would cause or the emancipation that occurred when it was gone.

I didn't want Bella to be afraid like that anymore, but on the other hand she needed to see the danger of the situation and for the time being take the threat seriously – And there was a very real threat.

By her own admission of the reluctance she felt to give into letting the fear rule her life I was able to calm myself. Part of that had to do with the fact that she needed me to reassure her; she needed me to be strong so that she could regain the sense of security she fought so hard to get. I held her while she cried out in frustration and her own anger, letting the tension dissolve around us.

That calmness only lasted for so long. Calling Weiss I learned that Jessica was indeed gone, she had sent the same e-mail to three people. Angela, Lauren and Tanya all received the message

“I have to leave. Call you when I get there.”

Weiss had told me she had wiped out her bank accounts and according to credit card records Jessica was in a Merrill Iowa. She had grown up in the small town in the north western corner of the state and presumably had returned to her grandparents’ home. He had absolutely no idea who had left the envelope in Bella's car, nor did he know who had been following her around. At that point Weiss offered the same suggestion that anyone would give to a victim of a stalker. Don't go out alone, change your normal routines, and be mindful of those around you...the same ideas I had heard from Charlie and had been trying to impress into Bella.

The call to officer Hawk was a different matter. Where Weiss was willing to do whatever I asked  – after all I was paying him – Hawk seemed a whole lot more reluctant. I had told him about the photos and the note. His crass demeanor never wavered as he told me that the words written could be anything from a joke to an actual threat. Until someone personally made contact or there was clear intent to do harm, there was not much the police could do. He then reiterated what Weiss had already told me about Jess, leaving me to think that the man was completely worthless. I had explained the connection with Karen and Mike and his response to the accusation of them being the responsible party was 'Mr. Cullen, You have no proof.'

The only thing he could do was to stop by in the morning to speak with Bella, see the photos for himself and take a report. Even then his only suggestions were the same as everyone else, don't go out alone, and change your normal routines and me mindful of your surroundings. 

As I said worthless.

By the time I had gotten off the phone with officer – thanks for nothing – Hawk my anxiety that had waned was back up through the roof. I felt helpless, inept and scared by the thought that someone trying to take Bella away from me.

God damn it she was mine

Calling Jacob – as I had promised – his reaction was not exactly conducive to easing my ill temperament. He thought the same way I had, Bella was only agreeing with him because that was what he wanted to hear. He assured me I was doing the right thing and even though Leah wasn't happy about being confined to the house, she agreed with him. Before hanging up the phone he left me with his own parting words.

“Listen Edward, Bella is stubborn as hell, but she is truly scared too so hopefully there won't be too much trouble from her. But if there is, I don't care if you have to tie her in a fucking chair and sit on her, don't let her out alone”

I assured him that was one thing that would not be happening and as I hung up the phone those chains in the playroom were starting to sound better by the minute. Thoughts of Bella being restrained sent my dick into overdrive and I realized it had been nearly an hour since she had gone upstairs. Thinking she would be done in the bathroom I was surprised to hear the water running. Get Bella into a bathtub of hot water and she'll sit in there until she becomes waterlogged. However the shower was a different matter, unless I was with her she was get in, get washed and get out kind of girl.

The one time she had dawdled in the shower was the night we had discussed her going to the Doctor to start receiving Depo shots. I spoke out of turn asking about her need for birth control and she told me about the internal damage James had caused. The scaring had left her not completely infertile yet the possibility of her uterus being capable of carrying a child was very slim. That night I had gone into the bathroom with a mug of warm milk to find Bella in a fetal position in the tub, sobbing uncontrollably. All in all the experience had turned out to be a good thing because as I held her wet body against me we talked and ended up declaring our love for each other. Even with the happy ending the memory of Bella crumpled on the floor of that tub had me moving quickly into the bathroom.

Bella had just had a major revelation or perhaps I should call it a breakthrough in the mental blockade she had built to keep the pain out. I was damn proud of her for finally admitting James had raped her, yet I couldn’t help but fear that there might be some kind of fallout from the admittance. Then again she had been so distraught I wasn't even sure if Bella realized what she had said. Fearing that once she was alone realization might hit her and I didn't want her to face the onslaught of the pain alone.   

Seeing her in the shower, standing under the spray of water all thoughts of her wellbeing were  gone as  something inside me snapped. Desire strong and heavy gripped me to the point where all I wanted to do was claim her so I could take pleasure in what was mine. She was so soft, so loving, so kind and she was mine. My body responded without any hindrance from my brain, taking what belonged to me.

All the frustration from the fucked up situation came out along with the vocal words of uncertainty I was feeling. I had promised no one would ever hurt her again, I had given my fucking word to keep her safe and I didn't know how the hell I was going to keep it. That scared the shit out of me because even the police made it seem hopeless.

How the fuck was I going to live without her?  I was going to break my word and I was so fucking sorry.

“Use me Edward!”

Bella's cry made me realize what the fuck I was doing. Lifting my mouth from where I had bit into her shoulder I looked into her eyes. This was my Bella, the woman who meant more to me than life itself.

Use her?

Never

She wasn't some whore whose only purpose in my life was tension release. She should be loved, tenderly loved, until she felt very emotion coming out of the depths of my soul.

Releasing the hold I had on her neck, I lifted her legs to gently carried her to the bed, laid her down on the towels and told her the truth “I love you nâhtötse; you deserve more than to be used.”

Bella's eyes filled with tears as I began to slowly move inside her, cherishing every stoke, relishing the feel of our connected bodies. Her swollen walls engulfed me in their smooth silky wetness and I knew at that moment what heaven felt like. She was so beautiful lying beneath me, accepting me inside her in the most intimate embrace known to man.

The touch of her hands running over my back sent tingly chills through me which only seemed to prove how right we were together. I wanted to embed every touch and every sigh into my mind, so I would always remember what she meant to me. Looking down into Bella's face I needed to see her eyes, I needed her to know.

“I love you Bella…I love you so fucking much,”

I could feel the moisture leak out of my eye at the same time Bella's muscles clamped down on me while her fingers dug into my shoulder as her orgasm hit. My lips capturing the moans from her mouth while I kept up the slow movement of my hips. She was so damn wet and extra soft that I wanted to enjoy the feeling for as long as I could.

Bella gasped for breath and my lips traveled down her neck, kissing the skin along the way. Fighting off my own release I spoke softly against her ear telling her more of my thoughts “You’re so beautiful...god baby you feel so good...so perfect”

“Edward...” she whimpered again my neck as the tingle in my balls started to spread

“please Edward...please”

I was so lost in her warmth, the smell of her skin, the quick rush of her breath washing over me, that I fought against the impending orgasm. My thrust never increased in speed or depth, the slow building pressure was as welcoming as the waves of emotions that filled Bella's eyes. Her panting breaths matching my own as she spoke.

“please Edward...cum with me...can't hold...want you to...please baby”

Unable to stare in her eyes and deny her anything I closed my eyes, fighting harder to contain myself. The sensations running through me from the feel of Bella's warm soft body was just too good to give up.

I never wanted to give it up.

I wanted to stay right where I was, suspended there in our own little cocoon, feeling the pleasure of every stroke I took within her.

“Not yet...not ready...can't stop yet...”

Bella let out a moan that made it harder for me to remain steady as the coil in my stomach intensified, making me have to resort to rolling my hips in an attempt change the sensation so I could last longer. The change helped me but not Bella as she cried out through a whimper.

“Pleeeease”

“Can't...stop...need...to...” chatting out the words through clinched teeth trying to hold off so I could feel one more stoke.

Bella's hands cupped my face forcing me look into her eyes and said the words no one has ever said to me.

“Cum Edward”

With a groan I stared into the eyes of the woman who owned me, thrusting once more inside her I let go of the control. My body trembled in ecstasy as my cum split within her walls which squeezed around me as Bella's own release carried her away. The pulsating of her muscles surrounding my dick felt so good my arms buckled. Unable to hold myself up my chest collapsed against Bella's with my forehead resting against hers as I rode out the bliss.

As reality started to come back to me along with full capacity of my lungs I became aware of Bella's tears. Kissing them away I whispered “Shhh...don't cry baby....shhh...please don't cry...i love you”

“I...I know”

Looking down into her face I wiped away the tears. Bella took my hand in hers and bringing to her lips she placed a single kiss on my palm. Letting out a small sniffle she held my hand against her jaw looking at me with more love in her eyes then I could ever deserved. “I never thought anyone would love me...like you do...” more tears fell from her eyes as she spoke “I don't know how I got so lucky”

“Shhh...” I cut off her words with a kiss before resting my head back against hers while gazing into her chocolate brown eyes “...I'm the lucky one nâhtötse. I thank god every day for bringing you into my life.” a slight taste of salt hitting me when I kissed her “And I'm so scared god's going to take you back”

“I'm not going anywhere Edward...besides who would balance out the see-saw with you?”

I chuckled and added “Or keep the vase from breaking?”

Bella giggled and the movement caused me to slip from inside her followed by a warm gush of what I could only assume to be blood.

“Ugh...period sex feels good but it sure is messy”

“Sorry...”

“Don't you be sorry. I'd take being inside you any day...no matter how gushy you are”

Smirking at her I placed one more kiss on her lips before pushing on my arms to kneel back and like driving by the scene of an accident I just had to look at the carnage.

“Yeah those towels are ruined”

“That bad?” Bella asked leaning up on her elbows to see for herself and I halted her progression “Don't move”

Using the end of bottom towel I wiped myself off as best I could and then pulled both of them through Bella's legs creating a make shift diaper before picking her up bridal style to carry back into the shower. Looking down at the bed I was glad that the menstrual fluid did not saturate through to the comforter however the water going down the drain was something right out of a horror movie. There was no messing around in there or any other form of physical touching. The shower was merely for cleansing purposes.

Finishing first I stepped out to let Bella continue what I had earlier interrupted. Wrapping a towel around my waist I wiped the fog off the mirror and used another one to remove most of the water from my hair. Cracking open the glass door, Bella peeked her head out “Edward can I use your razors?”

“Why?”

Bella gets a full body wax, besides it's my razor with triple blades that vibrate when you press the little button to give a smooth clean shave.

“Because I don't have one and I'm all stubbly...” holding her hand out expectantly.

Where the hell was the stubble? My hands had just been all over her body I didn't feel anything.

“Edward?”

Bella was getting insistent but I needed more information “What do you have to shave?”

“I thought you wanted me to keep that patch of hair off...if you'd rather...”

“No...I'd prefer the fur be gone, but...”cocking my head to the side I looked over in her direction “...that doesn't sound very sanitary”

Bella's whole face fell as her mouth popped open “Sanitary? Are you freaking kidding me? You lick my vag all the time...”

“I wouldn't do it now”

“Gee I hope not...” Narrowing her eyes Bella questioned “...Is that what the problem is? Because I swear I won’t get any blood on ...”

 “Noooo...blood will wash off...”

“So what's the problem?”

“I told you it just doesn't sound very sanity.”

“Edward you stuck your tongue up my ass”

“Yeah, that's was with my mouth, everything in there goes straight to my stomach and the acid will take care of any bacteria. But my razor slices the hair off my face leaving tiny little open scrapes behind. And what happens if I nick myself or something, I could get an infection...on my face”

Bella stood there staring at me in wide eyed shock for a long moment before shaking her head “Fine, it can wait until tomorrow. But can you do me a favor pretty boy and remind me to get some when we stop by my house in the morning” shaking her head again Bella closed the shower door muttering “get an infection on your face”

“Haven’t you ever heard of impetigo? It’s nasty and spreads like crazy...”

“Next time your giving me a rim job I'll remind you of a little thing called E-Coli” She yelled out over the sound of the running water.

Bella could remind me all she wanted to; I knew damn well that the acid in the human stomach would take care of the majority of the bacteria. Besides it's not like I went around eating out every girls ass, in fact Bella was the first one I’ve ever feasted on. And I didn't stick my tongue up her ass; I just licked around it, probing into uncharted territories. I must say it surprised me to know that I enjoyed it as much as my little anal queen did.

Glancing at the floor the blood stained towels laid in a heap, picking them up to put into the garbage I told Bella I was going to take it downstairs and left Set out. After I had finished drying off and had my pajama pants and t-shirt on I stepped up to the door just as she was getting out of the shower.

“Hey…” my unexpected appearance causing her to flinch “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you. I was just wondering if you wanted anything while I was down stairs.”

“Ummm…a drink and maybe a small snack of cheese and fruit…” I was just about to leave when she asked “…Edward is there any more of those truffles left?”

“Yes…but you just had a whole handful of Kisses”

“When?”

I stared at her in disbelief “When Jacob was here, you practically ripped his hand off when he went to get one.”

“That doesn’t count...” she said tucking the end of the towel in “…besides I don’t want a whole handful, just one or two…” leveling a glare at me she pointed out “…and they are mine”

O-Kay

Somewhere in my long term memory I recalled the conversation with my dad and brothers. We were at my parents for Mother’s Day, it was one of the first times they were schooling me in dealing with a woman. Emmett had mentioned something about chocolate being its own food group, especially during a woman’s period.  He had said Rose would hoard the candy in her purse and just absentmindedly eat it. At the time I hadn’t believed him, I thought it was just something they were saying to razz me with.

Yeah, I guess I was wrong because Bella was staring at me in such a way that told me she was not fooling around, she wanted those truffles and she wanted them NOW.

“I’ll bring you some”

That must have been the correct answer as the irritation that was starting to boil under the surface was gone and she smiled angelically making me shake my head and chuckle at the mood swings – something else I had been warned about.

Bella hadn’t really said what she wanted to drink and I figured since I had a plate of cheese and crackers along with grapes and strawberries – not forgetting the three truffles as the Pièce de résistance – wine was a good choice.  

Walking into the bedroom with Seth on my heels I found Bella in her pink night shirt sitting on the bed with a towel wrapped turban style around her head. Both feet were resting on the comforter with her knees bent making the bottom of the pajamas ride up over her thighs, revealing just a glimpse of white cotton panties. That angelic look she gave me in the bathroom was still evident on her face as she smiled at me while continuing to rub lotion on her leg.

“I love you so much I not only brought you two truffles…I brought you three” I said placing the plate on the bottom of the bed.

“My hero” Bella giggled as she snapped the lid closed on the bottle of lotion and placing it on her nightstand before reaching to get a piece of candy.

While I sat back against the head board Bella swiveled on her butt so she was facing me. Biting through the middle of the candy she closed her eyes and practically purred out in pleasure “Mmmmm… these are soooo good”

The actions not at all helping with the pop tent that was starting to go up in my pants, especially when she held the other half of the truffle and used her tongue to lick out all the creamy middle before popping the shell into her mouth. The shiver ran through me and truly the only thing that stopped me from attacking her was the two glasses of wine occupying my hands – after all I had plenty of towels.

Opening her eyes I handed off the glass and spoke with more lust in my voice then I had intended “Are you done?”

Part of me hoped she was and the other part was telling him to shut the fuck up because I wanted to see that again. Bella took a sip making another sound of contentment and I wondered how the hell I was going to get through the rest of the night without another shower.

“No I have two more to go…”

What’s she talking about?

“…since someone was so generous and brought me extra chocolate”

Oh…chocolate...that’s right we were talking about chocolate

Bella set the glass on the table next to the bed and pushed the plate up so it was easier to reach before taking a piece of cheese. Figuring I had better get my mind on something other than her mouth I remembered there was one thing I needed to say “It was a piece offering”

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you and I’m sorry about loosening my temper like that”

“You didn’t really yell at me Edward, it was more like you were yelling to me.”

“There’s a difference?”

“Of course there is. Yelling at me means you’re anger was directed at me because I had done something to piss you off. Yelling to me, means it wasn’t my fault yet the outside disturbance was so great that you felt the need to get it off your chest”

It took me a second or two before what she said had settled into my brain. Bella regards me in such a way that my actions were even more inexcusable “Well anyway you look at it Bella, I still should have had a better hold on my temper”

“Why Edward? Your only human, someone had dismantled my car and those pictures were scary and you had a right to be angry. I know you think that somehow or another you need to control yourself all the time, but there are also sometimes you need to just blow off steam. At no time was I ever afraid of you, no matter how much you yelled or cursed, I knew you would never lose your temper to the point of striking out at me.”
I hadn’t even considered the possibility of that happening, not ever would I strike out Bella in anger. Although I did consider putting her over my knee for a spanking but since Jacob was there. “I’m sure Jacob would have stopped me”

“You would have stopped yourself…” Bella picked up a few grapes, pulling one off she rolled it around in her fingers as if she was contemplating something. Keeping her eyes on the grape she started to speak “I know we spoke about this before but…are you…I mean you’re not worried about my relationship with Jake? You know that there was never…”

If there was one thing I knew it was that Jacob Blake and Bella had never been romantically involved but that doesn’t stop the feeling of jealousy that overcomes me. What I needed to do was think of a way to explain why it happens. Thinking it over I thought of something Bella herself had said to me. Touching her chin I needed to see her eyes as I explained.

“Do you remember when we were having the discussion with Jess in Aro’s office and you got upset because of what you perceived as me giving her my…Dom look?”

I could tell by the expression on her face she knew what I was talking about so I continued “You said that look belonged to you and that it hurt your feelings to see me act that way to someone else, especially since on one level it gave Jess pleasure”

At Bella’s nod I told her exactly how I had felt “It’s the same thing for me Bella. It’s a difficult thing for me to watch you so willing agree to Jacob’s request knowing damn well you have denied me the same one.” Her eyes grew and before Bella could interrupt me I finished “I had been asking you for days to please…please take extra precautions and in the deepest part of my mind I knew that you were only agreeing with Jacob to get him to shut up, still it…”

She spoke the words for me “I hurt your feelings”

The statement was made with a touch of her own pain and although I really wanted to take the grief away from her all I could was nod in agreement.

Bella moved quickly, straddling my legs and wrapping her arms around my neck as she gazed into my eyes. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to do that. And I wasn’t just saying what he wanted to hear. I had already made up my mind when I left the store this morning that I wasn’t going to go out alone anymore. The tension was just too much and besides I had made it one of goals to remember your point of view in any situation. I had forgotten about that for a moment and I’m sorry for not thinking how all this bullshit was affecting you. I’m trying hard Edward and I have to say that between someone messing with my car and those damn pictures…”
Bella let the words hang in the air for a second before giving me a pointed look “I have no problem in doing what you ask, I shouldn’t have fought you on it to begin with and I won’t do that anymore. I’ll do whatever you think is best and that’s why I was agreeing with Jake. Not because his opinion means more to me than yours does, because he doesn’t. It’s more that he was only restating what I had already agreed with you on. And well Jake and I…well we have…”

“A pact, I know. But you and I have a pact too Bella and I’m not asking you to decide which one is more important to you because frankly you can have both. All I’m saying is that…” I sighed rubbing my hand down the length of her back “…look maybe it’s my male ego, or maybe I just love you so fucking much that the thought of you agreeing to another man’s, any man’s request drives me insane. I don’t want to come off as an over possessive jerk who is trying to control every aspect of your life or trying to drive you away from your friends and family. Because I truly enjoy being around all of them and you need to be around the people who love you. I don’t want to take away any bond you have with them. But at the moment none of that mattered because all I saw was my girl in the arms of another man agreeing to comply with his request while ignoring mine.”

Placing a single kiss on my lips Bella rested her forehead on mine “I didn’t mean to do that, it’s just when he brought up…”

I knew what Bella was going to say but she stopped herself “…it was a really bad time.” She let it drop there not willing to relive the trauma again.

“I know nâhtötse and that’s not exactly something I ever want to experience either”

The honesty of the statement just sort of hung there for a moment before she sighed “I am really sorry that you felt hurt. I never want to do that…ever”

“Ok” It was all I could say.

Bella straightened up, settling her bottom on my thighs as she chewed on her bottom lip while her finger tips traced the collar of my t-shirt. I knew there was something on her mind and it didn’t take long for her to get to the point. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything”

Pursing her lips she seemed to be waffling, whether that was because she didn’t know how to ask or whether she was changing her mind I couldn’t tell, so I prodded “What is it Bella?”

Getting off my lap as she started to unravel the towel covering her hair she shook her head dismissively “Never mind”

“Bella” I warned picking up the hairbrush off the bed before she could get to it “…ask me”

“It’s just…well you get all jealous about other men but not with…”

“With who?”

“Well this morning you didn’t seem to mind at all, I mean you didn’t even ask what happened while I was alone with Demettri”

“Why did something happen I should be concerned about?”

I highly doubted it but I figured it was best to ask, Bella looked aghast “Nooo… he was a perfect gentleman, calmed me down and showed me his studio and some of the jewelry he made. He’s very talented and even the simplest rings became extraordinary with all the detail he did on them”

Listening to her I hoped that Bella would find her ring just as impressive and my heart kind of raced with excitement for the day she could see it. However at that moment I needed to sound indifferent.

“It sounds like you had a nice with him, so what’s the problem?”

“No problem per say…just that you seem to overly trust Demettri. I even suggested he could paint me…” she glanced at me “…with your permission of course”

I smirked “Of course”

“But it didn’t bother you…” she scrunched up her face as if she smelled something foul “…and you know he only does nudes”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I patted the space between my legs for Bella to sit in so I could brush out her hair. Once she was seated I let her know what I found so humorous.

“You should know by now I have no problem with showing off your body as long as the person seeing it knows who you belong to. There is an unwritten law among the D/s community; you do not ever handle another person’s property without their permission. I know without a doubt that you could walk around naked, begging him to touch you and as long as you are wearing this…” my fingers traced along my collar “…no matter how much he may want to, Demetri would never touch you. I would even go so far as to say he would take out anyone who tried to.”

Tilting her head to the side Bella gave me a questioning look over her shoulder “But even at the club there are those who you don’t completely trust”

“They don’t all have the same training Bella…I know what training Demettri had, I know that the correct principles were instilled into him”

“How can you be sure?”

“Demetri and I trained together with Aro” I told her while taking the first sweep of the brush through the length of her tangled hair

Bella’s upper body abruptly turned giving me a stunned look “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, I was just beginning formal training and he was almost finished but still we were together for a few months”

Bella continued to gawk at me then seemed to think of something “Is that how comes Aro lets him run a room or why he said he was the ‘head Dom’ in the art exhibit?”

I nodded “Aro’s training provides a certain clout”

She seemed to consider that for a moment before turning back around so I could continue with her hair “So what about all the others? Who were they trained by?”

“Well, I think over the years Aro has trained forty or fifty Doms, some are still here in Seattle others have moved away. Some Doms have been trained in other cities by experienced Masters, some have paid to take courses…”

“Like college?” she giggled “Talk about the school of hard knocks…”

Her humor making me chuckle “Something like that, except these are set up like a conference, they spend the weekends learning the techniques and then practicing them during the week”

“Like you said you did with learning bondage?”

“Yes, sort of”

“Hmmm…” Bella seemed to deliberate “So basically all the Doms had some sort of training?”

“No. some are self-taught, they read, they researched, they watched and they learned. Some of them are good Doms, some of them not so good. But that is something you have with everything, it’s just the bad Doms can create a lot of problems.”

“How so?”

“Well anyone can put on a pair of leather pants and call a woman slut. Some think that’s all the preparation they need, they are there for the kink and have no idea what responsibilities come with the title of Master. They don’t know what they’re doing, and when you have someone suspended from the ceiling while you whip them, you had better know what the fuck you are doing or someone is going to get hurt. They also don’t or won’t comprehend the basic rules of decorum. There are those at New Moon I wouldn’t even allow you to say hello to, done the less get anywhere close to them.”

“Because they are players?”

“Yes, and they are playing with people’s lives. A submissive, especially a new one is very susceptible to falling prey to those kinds of people. That’s another reason Aro doesn’t allow any unaccompanied females in the club. It cuts down on the danger of the predators…”

“Predators?”

“That’s what I would call them, their actions border closely to abuse rather than D/s play and unfortunately their actions don’t become revealed until after someone is hurt either physically or more often emotionally. Newbie’s in this life need to be extra cautious before they go around trusting someone and usually that is not the case. They are so quick to jump into what they preceive as exciting they will attach themselves to the first Dom who shows an interest. Only to find out too late that their actions are not something a responsible Dom would do. Aro attempts to weed out the players because New Moon should be a safe haven for those in our lifestyle, not a candy store for want-to-bes”  

“This happens a lot?” the worry was clear in her voice.

“Not too often at the club, because like I said Aro is thorough and checks out the background of prospective members. But it is rampant on the internet or personal ads. In fact there is a monthly meeting at New Moon for submissives who have found themselves victims of these so called Doms. Those submissives are very diligent in spending the word about safety measures, recognizing the signs of an abuser and stressing awareness. They have gone so far as to post pictures on the web and warnings about what had happened to them. It’s like a little support group”

“Well that’s nice...I mean that there’s help for those who need it. And thank you for telling me about Demetri, I was kind of baffled as to why you didn’t seem to care.”

“Oh I care Bella; I care about everything that has to do with you. It’s just as I said, Demetri is kind of like my comrade in arms. I trust him with you; knowing my most prized possession is as safe in his hands as she would be in mine”

Finishing off the last section of hair I thought it best to let Bella know exactly how much faith I had in my friend “As a matter of fact Bella I should tell you that along with family members you can and should always speak with Demetri. Also if I am not there you should obey him the same way you would obey me. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir”

“Good” sweeping her freshly brushed hair to the side I went to place a kiss on her shoulder and noticed the faint imprint of teeth.

“I’m sorry baby, I got a little carried away” I said kissing the bite mark.

She must have known what I was talking about as Bella’s hand came up to rub the area “Is it bad?”

“No…but I don’t like to leave marks on you” I confessed placing a trail of kisses on her neck “…a red bottom…yes…other marks…no”

“Edward…” the desire starting to simmer in her voice and a shiver went through her as I hummed against her ear “Hmmm”

“We’re going to run out of towels”

Her words making me laugh as I sat back “No nâhtötse I can control myself”

“I like when you lose control”

“I know”

Instead of going back to her neck I busied myself with braiding her hair and just for good measure I made Bella move back to her own side of the bed. We sat there eating the plate of snacks while talking about various things. I had informed her of Officer Hawk’s intention of stopping by in the morning. I also told her what Weiss said about Jess being in Iowa, that piece of information brought on a whole round of questions. Did I know she has grown up there? How long was she going to be gone? Was I still going to press charges?

As I answered each question the only one that caused a reaction was when I said ‘Yes, the charges are going to stand”

Bella didn’t understand my reluctance to drop the charges and frankly I couldn’t for the life of me fathom why she wanted me to. So we agreed to disagree and Bella finally relented by saying “Well since technically it is your house, I guess you can do what you want”

I won’t lie and say her words weren’t cutting because yes the house was in my name, but Bella lived there too and I was under the impression she was starting to think of it as home. The other thing we had to discuss was her plans to have lunch with my mother. I couldn’t allow the two of them to be out at a restaurant alone. I would need to speak with my mom in the morning to see how they could work around the new restrictions on Bella.

She also wanted to spend the afternoon with Leah at her house. I could give her that just as long as she guaranteed me she would stay in the house with the doors locked. Since Jacob had already informed me that Leah agreed to stay home, I figured it would be safe for Bella to spend time with her sister. The two of them hadn’t been able to spend very much time together. In fact since Bella and I had been together the two women hadn’t been alone at all. Given their past relationship I figured they could both use an afternoon of sisterly love.

Bella reminded me at along with Jacob and Leah coming for dinner the next evening, Vinny was expecting to spend the night. She was going to call Alice to make arrangements but I had to admit there was nothing like having a five year old around to lighten the mood.  

By the time we had all the discussions out of the way it was after eleven when we cleaned off the bed and stood together at the sink brushing our teeth. Bella sent me out so she could have some privacy and I thought about staying there while she changed the tampon, but decided against it. Wednesday would be there soon enough and if she was still bleeding, I’d take care of that little piece of self-consciousness then.    

As I had expected Bella’s revelation of her fears and the admittance of being raped came out in her dreams. Twice throughout the night she cried out the word ‘No’ and muttered something about ‘not the box’. Neither of those times caused her to awaken and all I could do was hold her tighter, shush away her nightmare and pray it didn’t escalate into something bigger.

The last time Bella’s subconscious had reared its ugly head she ended up going through two days of hell. Fighting against what was trying to surface until she ended up in a shattered mess on her living room floor. Her mind was no longer able to push away the memories as she had a meltdown amongst the scattered evidence of pictures. My own memory of finding her so broken made me hold her closer to me until she finally settled into a contented sleep.

I had no idea what the next day would bring, what twist and turns fate was going to throw at us. That thought making me snicker, three months ago I would have scoffed at the word fate or destiny. They just seemed too hokey, superstitious and cheesy. What kind of grown man goes around viewing life as a series of events that lead to a preordained future?

Certainly not this one, at least I never thought I did, but things have changed. My whole outlook on life was different.  Years spent in Sunday School wasn’t enough to give me the predestination outlook on life, yet two months with Bella had solidified it into my soul. At that thought the phase ‘The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away’ popped into my head and the fear was back. Lying there in the dark room with the rain pounding against the windows I squeezed Bella to me and prayed for the first time since Mason died.

“Please God…please don’t take her away from me”